Cumdumps and love / long term relationships

[BritishCumdump]

So I'm hitting that stage now where I'm wanting to get into a long term relationship and build something up rather than dodging love in favour of work and quick sex. 

The issue is that I'd want it to be an open relationship with my partner actively whoring me out and us throwing breeding parties. Not really polyamory in the love sense, just us having sex with lots of outer people. 

For those in the community that have these kind of relationships, are they rare? How do they work? Are there problems with jealousy or such? 

I just wonder if it's better to try and meet someone and go into a relationship fully knowing what you want rather than being purely monogamous and opening up to the cumdump stuff later. I'd love to hear your takes on this. 

[DMVlp]

The notion, at least, I can tell you is not rare.  I have the very same one.  I will be as interested to see the responses as you.

[BritishCumdump]

18 hours ago, DMVlp said:

The notion, at least, I can tell you is not rare.  I have the very same one.  I will be as interested to see the responses as you.

Doesn't look like there are any responses. Maybe it's a tough dynamic to maintain!

[Spunkinmyarse]

Truth is, I think there are a lot of bottoms who are looking for this kind of relationship (this one included), but far fewer tops…

[Guest]

My husband and I have a relationship like this, for nearly 10 years now. I do believe it is very, very rare though.  We talked about it not long after we met, so we knew exactly what we were getting into right from the start. It's about sex with others, not love. If you can separate the two, great. We have run into couples like us before and it doesn't work out because of jealousy or falling in love with someone you just intended to have sex with. My advice is just to always be honest about what you want and what you're looking for. It may not happen, but at least you know you were honest and up front.

[Treehugger]

I know many couples with open relationships. I don't think these kind of relationships are in any more or less danger of breaking up than any other kind of relationship. Every relationship has its own particular challenges. To me the open relationships seem more stable and happy. I know one couple in particular that has me very envious. They knew each others sexual tastes (both super piggy) from the beginning so sex was not an issue. They fuck all they want with each other and with many men, singly and together. They enjoy watching the other fuck or get fucked and get loaded, all bareback of course. I love to visit them, its really fun.

     The basis of all these successful relationships is communication, honesty and compatible sexual tastes. I work for a gay couple. One of them is all top and fucks me on a regular basis (yes I am cheating on my boyfriend). His partner knows and is happy his husband is getting more ass. Their relationship has its problem but the sex is not one of them. 

     This is not just a gay thing by the way, lots of straight men love watching their partners get fucked. If you go to sex clubs, bathhouses and sex parties you are more likely to encounter men with your views on sex and love. So that is where I would look. Be honest from the beginning. Don't be like me and get entangled in a relationship only to find out you are not sexually compatible. It really sucks to fall in love then realize in order to stay in the relationship you have to deny an essential part of yourself. It does not work and you will find yourself cheating on your man. Good luck, there's a hot guy out there who will want to whore you out, fuck your cum filled hole and love you all the more for it.

P.S. I would love, love, love to tether my boyfriend to a bathhouse sling and let every guy in the place breed his holes. I would felch and snowball each load. On weekends I'd put ads on all the sites for anonymous pump and dumps and I wish he would do the same for me. Alas we have been together seven years and I have not been allowed any where near his hole and he's only fucked me once. Take my advice, be up front from the beginning. Get what you need.

[lycis]

We do this. It working just depends on the person.

 

I'm a pretty monogamous person when it comes to love, but my cumdump boyfriend is very poly. I didn't think that mono+poly would work out but it turns out to work out just fine. The key difference is that I know that just because my bf is capable of feeling love + energy towards others, it doesn't mean the love + energy he feels towards me is anyway diminished. His love language truly is like a puppy dog, and his love operates more out of a "communal love" rather than a "you're the only one for me love". As such I never feel jealous when he's taking loads, hooking up, or even going off to hang out with one of his fuck buds or our mutual friends. Because the love he has for me is still unique & genuine, and doesn't ever get hurt by him connecting with our friends or fucking around. That "puppy-like" innocence permeates through every part of his being. The idea of him cheating, or doing anything to break trust is just fundamentally impossible for him. If I knew our relationship was faltering, I'd know about it far before jealousy over hooking up or time spent with people he feels a poly connection with would come into the picture.

 

Meanwhile, I can only spread myself as thin as one person. More than happy to fuck up a storm or be fucked by many people, but when it comes to love and the attention I can give feelings wise, I'm pretty strictly to just one person. And I'm more than happy to have him be that person I care about most!

[MuscledHorse]

I don't do monogamy and neither does my other half. And it works just fine. Bonus: there is NO jealousy of other guys. No OMG i think he's sexually cheating on me. We are emotionally committed to each other 100% and we each know the other comes first. We view sex as a pleasure sport among males, part of our primal DNA programming. Sexual monogamy, after all, is the exception in the animal kingdom mammals, not the rule. He has been the camera guy on some of my porn shoots, watching me getting sexually used for hours while he filmed it. We have played together and apart an we encourage each other to indulge. And yes, we also have sex with just us and it's very special. I wouldn't ask for any other life or partner.

[Guest]

I am looking for a relationship in which he will have sex with anyone he wants and I can only have sex with people he chooses and have no say what so ever in it.   

[polyglutton]

On 9/24/2021 at 4:32 AM, BritishCumdump said:

For those in the community that have these kind of relationships, are they rare? How do they work? Are there problems with jealousy or such? 

I've been in an open relationship for 14 years. Deconstructing jealousy is essential. You'll need to prioritise finding someone with self-awareness, emotional maturity, and honesty. 

Some people can get there without therapy, but in a society that doesn't actively privilege or promote these attributes, most people (especially men)  need therapy to develop these.

Define ahead of time what love and trust mean to you, and how they would look in practice e.g. love is not ownership or control, trust means respecting boundaries.

The way I see it is while time is a finite resource, love or affection don't have to be.

The book Ethical Slut could be helpful. 

Edited September 29, 2021 by polyglutton

[PupLucca]

It’s all about communication. Gotta talk it out and set rules. Then it can work as long as someone doesn’t break the rules

[phukhole]

Be open about being open. Honest communication is what will make it work or allow it to fail. If you need rules, make them and follow them.  Communicate. He may be fine with you being a cum dump, but may not want to see it. Or he may get off on seeing you get used. Or he may not want t see it, but hear about it and eat your cummy hole after.  There really is no template for a good relationship,  It's what you both put into (and want out of) it.   As long as you're both satisfied with the love portion, getting ADDITIONAL sexual satisfaction shouldn't be an issue. 

[pssilverbear]

I have been in an open non-monogamous relationship for three years with my current partner.  It is the first open relationship I’ve ever had.  The experience has been the most loving, respectful, satisfying and joyous relationship I’ve ever had.  We have three major tenets that we follow: no jealousy, no judgements, and no secrets.  Open communication is truly  important to making it work.  Like some others, I have walked in on my partner in full fuck mode with someone I may or may not know.  (He has done the same).  Generally there are two options to choose from, either drop my clothes and join in as a welcome addition or take a sideline role and cheer them on, happy to see them pleasure each other. We both enjoy voyeurism and revel in seeing the other in full sexual arousal.  It is also helpful that we enjoy a mostly naked lifestyle in our home, encouraging our guests to lose their clothes at the door.   We often play together alone or with 1 to 4 additional guests as well as  apart and encourage each other to find additional sexual partners to make sure we can achieve a level of satisfaction and stimulation matching our libidos.   And while both of us enjoy the variety and frequency of couplings with others, we fell hard for each other the first night we met, and have a deep and abiding love and respect for each other that has not lessened since day one and in fact continues to grow and deepen all the time.  I am so lucky to have this man in my life.  As a reference I am 69 and he is 46 and we are full equal partners in our relationship.  I meet many people who cannot get their head around how my relationship works but I know it’s not for everyone and wouldn’t expect it to be.
 

 I was married to a woman for many years and the expectations of monogamy and a lack of male friends and contacts she wanted me to observe were totally stifling.   Thanks for letting me share this.      

 

[bareback-flipflop]

On 9/30/2021 at 12:16 AM, pssilverbear said:

I have been in an open non-monogamous relationship for three years with my current partner.  It is the first open relationship I’ve ever had.  The experience has been the most loving, respectful, satisfying and joyous relationship I’ve ever had.  We have three major tenets that we follow: no jealousy, no judgements, and no secrets.  Open communication is truly  important to making it work.  Like some others, I have walked in on my partner in full fuck mode with someone I may or may not know.  (He has done the same).  Generally there are two options to choose from, either drop my clothes and join in as a welcome addition or take a sideline role and cheer them on, happy to see them pleasure each other. We both enjoy voyeurism and revel in seeing the other in full sexual arousal.  It is also helpful that we enjoy a mostly naked lifestyle in our home, encouraging our guests to lose their clothes at the door.   We often play together alone or with 1 to 4 additional guests as well as  apart and encourage each other to find additional sexual partners to make sure we can achieve a level of satisfaction and stimulation matching our libidos.   And while both of us enjoy the variety and frequency of couplings with others, we fell hard for each other the first night we met, and have a deep and abiding love and respect for each other that has not lessened since day one and in fact continues to grow and deepen all the time.  I am so lucky to have this man in my life.  As a reference I am 69 and he is 46 and we are full equal partners in our relationship.  I meet many people who cannot get their head around how my relationship works but I know it’s not for everyone and wouldn’t expect it to be.
 

 I was married to a woman for many years and the expectations of monogamy and a lack of male friends and contacts she wanted me to observe were totally stifling.   Thanks for letting me share this.      

 

This is my dream to have a relationship like yours. 🥰

[hotguy02]

I'm 37 years old Latino bottom in a relationship with a 67 year old white Daddy he took my virginity when I was 19 years old ever since then I suck his dick and he breeds me whenever he wants he has other boys to fuck kind of makes me jealous but I understand I am the bottom so I make myself available to him whenever he want he does not let me play with other tops if I'm eager for sucking dick I have to ask him for permission and he has to approve he has given me permission in the past to suck other daddies but he is very very strict about only sucking he doesn't allow me to get fucked by them he is very very strict about that monogamous but I am very loyal to him it works out pretty good I wish I was in a relationship with him but he doesn't want anything serious he fucks around with other boys so I tried my best to be his best boy so I can see him often currently he has me locked in a chastity cagege says baby I love this type of relationship because all I want is to make him happy