Help - depression/anxiety

[Amystrays]

Hey I’m Amy, I’m 20. I’m going to be honest, my mental health is completely broken. I have tried to torture myself with hiv but no luck. I hate myself, I’m worthless. 
 

I feel like I want to be brutally raped and maybe sent to hospital
 

I’m depressed, have extreme anxiety and body image issues. I don’t have any self worth. 
im I’m Southampton England 

 

[beanna]

DM me you beautiful girl

[PozTalkAuthor]

you need a good psychiatrist rather than a sex-related web community - always assuming that you're not a troll

 

no one should hate themselves! And if so, Breeding Zone is not the place and hopefully no one here is so ASSHOLE to use a mentally sick person for his own pleasure. 

Cops? Hopefully moderators here can get rid of this troll if it's such, and if necessary, take appropriate steps. 

Let me say that in this community it's quite ordinary to find people fantasizing. Good-intentioned roleplaying, anonymous flirting, even catfishing, and in worst cases people looking for real meets then ghosting each other. 

But depression, anxiety and generally mental disorders are not something we have to play with. 

I might be too "sensitive" for certain topics, but something makes me feel this person is a victim of a strong transphobia by people around, so she thinks hating herself is the solution.

You're what you are, why self-punishing?

 

[Guest]

You'll get over it ☺️@PozTalkAuthor is right; seek professional medical help foremost. 

Immoral people will always capitalise on others, especially when they are at their weakest; they'll use your mind and body

if you allow them to — do not allow this!

Don't be harsh on yourself for the decisions you make during this period in your life — you are rationalising many difficult things. 

Perhaps you are thinking, "Will I ever/When will I feel (consistently) normal again?" I imagine it hurts deeply at times, but yes you'll get over it ☺️

"...As we let our own Light shine,
we consciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
our presence automatically liberates others."

You are a beautiful and incredibly strong person. 

Please speak to your doctor. 

[PozTalkAuthor]

asking people on this site to hurt her, means not only she considers herself as nothing. But she's also implicitly considering this community full of people eager to abuse of vulnerable folks; I'm part of this community and (except a couple of assholes) I never met unpleasant people, I indeed found people welcoming me, accepting my fantasies and playing along! This is not a community where to ask people to hurt us. 

Maybe it's because I'm used to see worst things on web but this kind of request is a way to ask for help and attention. 

We're no one to say which doctor or which journey to have, but what you need is much far from sex! 

Asking someone "hurt me so that I'm hospitalized" means extreme desperation and it can't be cured with self-harm! There are people, even children, suffering from war in this world! Why the fuck should someone search for harm on purpose in this way! 

If people treat you as worthless, they're such. Not you. 

I had my father who treated me like I was a damage, I ruined his plans, being a twin I was the unplanned child... 

He was worthless man but when he was dying and vulnerable, despite my hate for him, I did everything to ensure he could die in peace. 

HIV has been smarter, he's decided not to live inside your blood, aware that you need help and not a virus. Think of this! 

[ErosWired]

Amystrays -

Firstly, you do not have to feel this way, and feeling a desire to harm yourself or end your life is a clear sign that your mind is suffering from the influence of one of the several conditions that can affect mood, thought, and self-perception, and cause thoughts of suicide. Depression is possibly the most common among them, and there are multiple types - but there are also multiple ways of approaching treatment, and relief is possible, from therapy, medication, or ideally a combination of the two.

From your narrative it seems clear that you are symptomatic, and attention from a mental health care professional is in order. One possible first step might simply be to speak to your regular doctor, who can get you a referral to a specialist in your area to get you evaluated. A systematic evaluation of your condition is vital to finding the best treatment for you as quickly as possible.

There are some sites online that provide support, guidance and resources for persons dealing with similar issues. I used to be the administrator of one such, and I encourage you do searches for psychiatric support and try to find one that works for you, though none of them are a substitute for professional help and no one van diagnose your condition online.

Breedingzone is absolutely not the place to look for help with this. I advise you to ignore the content of this thread and make your way to a place where you can find the help you need.

[ErosWired]

To everyone else -

I spent almost 18 years as a moderator and administrator of a mental health peer-support discussion forum dealing with persons who came in like this looking for help in just this sort of way. Unless you know what the fuck you’re doing, it’s better if you don’t try to offer up your advice. So far, everyone who’s answered has said at least one thing that you should not say to a person dealing with a mental health crisis.

Even the most well-meaning attempts at support can backfire badly if you don’t know what you’re doing, so if you don’t, don’t. The best advice anyone offered here was saying that this is the wrong place to ask, and to see a doctor.

If a person makes a desperate plea for help because they’re thinking of harming themselves so seriously the’ll end up in the hospital, you do not call them a troll. That’s like finding someone clinging to the edge of a cliff by their fingernails and then walking up and stomping on their fingers. It doesn’t matter if you think the person’s a troll - you don’t take chances in these situations. You don’t fuck around when people’s health and well-being is at stake - you assume it’s legit.

No, a person suffering from Major Depressive Disorder, or Bipolar Depression, or Dysthymia, or any of the other things that could be at play here is not “going to get over it”, not without serious professional intervention, and may never entirely be free of it. It’s a serious illness, potentially chronic, potentially treatment-resistant, and advice like that is about as useful as telling someone to let a smile be their umbrella in a downpour.

It’s natural for a good-hearted person to want to offer support to someone asking for help, but sometimes saying the wrong thing can be worse than saying nothing.

 

[Giftgiver53]

Oh Amy I have felt your anguish for years too. Depression is a very serious illness --- it is the equivalent of a elephant sitting on you and  time feels like it is slowing to a crawl.  

You must seek out immediately medical help!  This will not resolve by it self.  

I wish that my truthful words would heal your mind and heart , but know from experience they will not. 

You are beautiful and young with many year ahead to experience a great happy life. Ending it or doing yourself harm will not help.  Two thoughts that have sustained me to continue on are 1) I never want my very last thought to be " I could have......" 2) I have a beautiful - smart grand daughter And I would never want her to think in a moment of dispare. " my poppa killed himself so it must be ok to do that". 

Please write if you like-- and know that I do care.

 

[Mkegaymer]

We have all been where you are now. So we understand.

We all have value even if we can’t feel it in the moment. I promise you, you can and will get there.  The best thing you can do right now is to find professional resources to talk about your feelings.

If a psychologist or councilor is not available, perhaps a local lgbt community center? Those typically have recommendations or resources. Or call a crisis hotline and talk. 

If we can endure so can you. You are not alone. Big hug to you. 

[DaWhore]

Intense post. 
 

I won’t restate the obvious, you need to have a good open talk with a professional. If the first person doesn't match you, be slutty and seek another one.
 

I’d like to share some of my story, hoping it will help you a little.
 

Before the pandemic, I was on cloud nine. Everything was good, saved enough money for a decent transition.

Then everything went to shit, everything.

A few years later, partly transitioned, broke, jobless, homeless, and nurturing ways to end it all, until...I changed my mind and decided to ask for help, and get the fuck back up.

I spent 69 days (really) in a doorless cubicle of a homeless shelter, sleeping on the most uncomfortable camp bed ever, always carrying my valuables in a backpack, praying that nobody would steal what you could not carry.

It was a very humbling, a cold shower, and a brutal slap to the face.

I lived among real addiction and biohazard tattoos, the reality is far from what we read in the stories.

I used all the help provided and got back up. I’m still wobbly but I'm standing.

I’m currently in low-cost housing (god I love my door), and I've restarted my transition. Money is still an issue, but that will change once I've enough tits to start my new line of work.  
 

It's not all sunshine and rainbows, but maybe tomorrow.
 

Take care baby 👶 

[Guest]

2 hours ago, MrsTatt00 said:

Intense post. 
 

I won’t restate the obvious, you need to have a good open talk with a professional. If the first person doesn't match you, be slutty and seek another one.
 

I’d like to share some of my story, hoping it will help you a little.
 

Before the pandemic, I was on cloud nine. Everything was good, saved enough money for a decent transition.

Then everything went to shit, everything.

A few years later, partly transitioned, broke, jobless, homeless, and nurturing ways to end it all, until...I changed my mind and decided to ask for help, and get the fuck back up.

I spent 69 days (really) in a doorless cubicle of a homeless shelter, sleeping on the most uncomfortable camp bed ever, always carrying my valuables in a backpack, praying that nobody would steal what you could not carry.

It was a very humbling, a cold shower, and a brutal slap to the face.

I lived among real addiction and biohazard tattoos, the reality is far from what we read in the stories.

I used all the help provided and got back up. I’m still wobbly but I'm standing.

I’m currently in low-cost housing (god I love my door), and I've restarted my transition. Money is still an issue, but that will change once I've enough tits to start my new line of work.  
 

It's not all sunshine and rainbows, but maybe tomorrow.
 

Take care baby 👶 

So proud of you girl, wish you the best 😘

[JessicaDiamond]

I get it

 

My mental is pretty fucked too. Last year, in September, I unalived myself. Two friends that I've known since I was 14, saved me. I flat lined five times before they brought me back.

 

Mentally, I am doing better but it can still be a struggle. Wednesday morning, I had a close call.

 

Therapy helps, if nothing else it gives you an outlet to vent. Personally, I try to focus on the positive things in my life, like my fur babies and trying to outlive my boomer bigot uncle.

 

I hope that you're able to get help. Please. If you need to, you can always hit me up.

 

Be kind to yourself, love ya 🤗💋🤗