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Thanks. Yes the last 40 years have been pretty fraught with loss. For the record, this IS the political section, hence my commentary. As far as your loss, man that had to be hard to endure. Glad you're still here. And I'm glad you made it through. If we can't agree to disagree then we didn't learn our lessons of the last half century very well did we?

@PozBearWIin response to your down votes The conversation that I was a part of was about a first real poz scare, where I shared previous feelings, but you had to make it about politics. Then I tried to be uplifting and put things back on track, and we’re rather flippant about things when I wouldn’t entertain politics. Here’s a little story about why I was scared and why I protected myself, since you didn’t get it the first time. A picture that I keep, somewhat wrinkled and aged over the years, with parts of the image distorted by my tears, is a photo of 21 of us plus the photographer standing at Riis Beach in Queens, NY. We’re all young, naked, and full of life, without a care in the world except what we’re doing that night. I am number 18 in that photo if you count from left to right, with me at the back since I was one of the taller guys. All of them, except me, are deceased from HIV complications. ALL OF THEM. They weren’t just fair-weather friends; they were my everything. Sometimes a therapist, a banker, a chef, a comedian—just someone to share a moment of your life. They were more than all of that; they were my brothers. All of us were discarded as trash by our families just for being gay. Some of us had harder beginnings than others. I’ll speak now of three of them. Brian #2 was from Canton, Ohio. He was beaten up for being the school fag. Unfortunately, things weren’t much better for him at home, as his father made sure that lesson was reinforced every time he drank, especially with his belt. At age 16, Brian started prostituting himself to get enough scratch together for a bus ticket to NYC. Where, on a fateful night, he ran into my friend Mark and i. Covenant House wasn’t working out for him (a shelter for youth), so Mark and I, clearly understanding his needs, put him up and shared custody of him, if you will. He wasn’t cute by any measure, but loyal like a dog with a big heart who just wanted to be loved. Before long, we helped him get a job at a coffee house that was understanding of his situation, and with the help of a pro-bono lawyer, his emancipation papers so he could legally be on his own. Eventually, he obtained his GED. As a present, we got him a fake ID so he could walk into Kurfew an 18+ party. He was so happy that day; he finally was able to go out on his own, but always wanted to be with us. Life was looking up for him until one day all of his strength was just gone, and he looked like shit. We brought him to a doc-in-a-box who did a simple HIV test. Of course, it was positive, and he wasn’t Mr. Vitamin either, so he deteriorated pretty quickly. We spread his ashes on that very same beach a few days before his 21st birthday. Mark #8, who I mentioned before, was from Chicago. His parents abandoned him at three, so his lesbian aunt took him in, doing the best she could. Life wasn’t easy for Mark; there was tons of violence in his neck of the woods. So, the day after graduating high school, he moved to NYC, which is where I met him with a terrible fake ID at my bar. I cut it up in his face, telling him I’m doing you a favor, and then asked what he wanted to drink and offered him a job as a barback. Our friendship grew fast, and he took to the gang quickly, becoming a main pillar of support. In early June 2000, on a Tuesday, we went to have lunch in midtown at a straight titty bar that had free baked ziti with admission. Titties and lunch all for $10—fantastic deal, especially considering "Showgirls" was our movie. By that weekend, he was in the hospital, and we spread his ashes in Central Park the following Sunday. Nicolas #15 was a fun-spirited guy from Ronkonkoma, Long Island. His father was a disabled war vet with a terrible drinking problem, and he never mentioned anything about his mother. He ran for the big city the day he turned 18. I met him at a party called Kurfew; tall, slender, handsome—a real catch. He loved to drink and somehow would always be able to make you laugh. He just had a knack for that, even when he got sick; he’d still make a joke about everything. A little after his 23rd birthday, his father came to collect his things. So when I mentioned in a previous post that I was scared, I meant it. The 18 other people who were part of that photo weren’t the only ones who passed on because of HIV, but that photo encapsulates a moment before, when we were still innocent. Before anyone was diagnosed, before I helped them pass with some dignity. Before I cleaned their apartments out of porn and toys. Before any of my scares, before I was afraid. The years went on, and so did the number of people I lost to HIV, including the man I loved. Some hurt more than others; each one is a piece of me gone, a part of my life lost. After a while, it all became a blur, and I stopped going to funerals. I became voluntarily celibate. Alone and afraid, with almost everyone I know dead by the time I was 27. A little after my 31st birthday, I buried the man I loved, which I have never recovered from and never will. So when I say I was afraid, I have a ton of reasons why. Each one with a name, a face, and a story, and I knew them all. They were my brothers. So in conclusion, keep your self-righteous political opinions to the political section, ok. As far as me being honest and sharing, FUCK YOU. I hope you never went through any of what I had to endure. Thanks for the downvote; it really shows who you are when a man shares of himself. You just had to inject your fucking politics, didn’t you. Hope you learn from this drubbing and become the better man that I know of you through this site. After all, isn’t that the point of life?

I really want to do this in a way that works for me but…. I don’t know, it’s problematic for me to do and everyone to stay safe to the point I’d like. I’m less of a sadomasocist than I was before but my potential for pain tolerance if I’m really getting into something could be really devastating for myself or a top, more than I want to put myself through for scene. ~10 years ago I used to play so heavy and so regularly like that I never healed properly for like a year on end. It wasn’t really good for me and I’m not looking to go back to those kids of scenes. But if I can’t actually fight but just need to stay still then it’s feels more, like, “Oh. Oh. No. Don’t. Do. That. I. Don’t. Love. Cock. Oh…uh, what was I saying? Oh.. no….” That’s the issue with being hypersexual and loving cock. I consent pretty easy and often. My only “straight” fantasies are CNC because I love being touched, fucking, and fucked period and my body will respond until I realize who is doing it. I want to consent to being raped and then it feel like a real rape without taking on any real bodily damage or even it necessarily needing to be violent. Coercive would feel more convincing to me because I tend to overpower despite often being smaller due to my background and pain processing. But I know women can molest and rape me for real and I just freeze. I kind of want the sweet spot where I would be likely to cum but it really feels like rape without any real deep psychological damage. I’m gay (and generally more masc for masc)— but I was confused for years because I could fuck women (pussy feels nice— it’s the rest of the package that sexually is a huge no for me), I just couldn’t cum from it. I can get turned on just from physical stimulation…. I think if I were to do this again I might want a very feminine woman to forcibly ride me. I would feel very conflicted about hitting her or harming her so if she was just bossy enough I would probably freeze up. Many women don’t take me seriously that I am gay because I am more masculine…. so she could brush me off that I am gay and try to prove to me that I am not. Tell me she converted me if I came. That would feel like a real rape to me. I was raped by a former trans gal friend years ago. I hadn’t really fully realized I was gay yet (still thinking and trying to convince myself I was bi because being hypersexual can be confusing and it also makes bisexuality very adventageous). I was riding her cock and sort of had a moment where I realized she was objectively pretty but I didn’t like the look of her. She smelled bad (not like stinky, just BAD) to me and her sweaty skin tasted worse even though the time before I asked her to shower right before and this time she had. Her cock was a great fit for my cunt (I have a trans history and some intersex traits before that) and felt amazing thrusting in and out, keeping me wet and physically aroused from the stimulation, but literally everything else was so wrong and such a turn off. She was always talking about how she’s been coerced into sex by a former boyfriend. So I just assumed when I told her I wasn’t into it and want to stop she would. Instead she growled at me that she wasn’t finished yet, that I got her turned on, that she hadn’t experienced pussy in forever—- especially not one that fit her cock this well, and she was going to finish and breed it. I was trying to get up this whole time and she held me down on her lap (she was on her knees and I’d been riding facing her) and I struggled and she moaned from it. I was so shocked she go me onto my back and put her hand around my throat. The lack of oxygen and cock fucking me and bottoming out in me made me cum several times, and she really enjoyed the sensation of that. I was trying to fight her and mouthing the safeword (the one with her, RED, SAFEWORD, and the one for a local dungeon in the area that stops all play thinking surely she’d realize this wasn’t fun) and she kept telling me we were finished when she said so and she wanted to cum. I kept trying to reason with her, she kept shoving a hand into my mouth or choking me and enjoying the pleasure it bought her from me tensing or orgasming from lack of air with physical stimulation. She told me I liked it, I said I didn’t, she pointed out I was covered in my own cum, I said stimulation is different from being into it. I tried to beg and reason with her. She kept pounding away. I realized she was kind of edging in my cunt and this could take forever and if I didn’t want this to go on and on I had to make her cum. I closed my eyes and did my best not to breathe (smell her pheromones) and not to pay attention to anything other than the sensation of a dick moving in me and doing all the little tricks I can with my cunt to make one cum. When I opened my eyes I was disgusted to see a chick there and she was gettting closer and closer to cumming. When she was really close it dawned on me that this is what her ex boyfriend did to her except she was being more forceful. I told her “you’re doing the same thing as your ex, you’re just like your ex”. She had this look of horror come over her but she was too close and it was immediately replaced by an orgasm. To her credit, she pulled out, except in doing so kind of made things worse as she came all in and over me, so it ended up getting in me, making a mess all over me, getting in my mouth (she tasted awful and I never have not swelled cum before because I normally love it) and she got it in my eye so I was crying by the time she half assed apologized for raping me saying she was “just really horny”. She made me cum so many times but it still genuinely was rape and now I realize against my preferences. I think I would like to be exploited like that for my cunt by a trans woman again because her cock would feel so good and I love cock but then I’d look up and it would be just some chick I personally found 0% attractive taking advantage of my love for cock. I’d have to close my eyes and focus on her cock thrusting me and out of me and making her cum as fast as possible before I had to look at her again. That would feel like a real enough rape via coercion and taking advantage and would strict the CNC itch for me I think.

What's the best way to not kill the cum and mail it? like I heard that freezing is bad and condoms are bad to mail in. Looking at swapping

No, I don't really have friends, but my bf let's all his friends fuck me

I've had a few now. I feel all the emotions from regret to incredibly horny. It goes in cycles as the cocks cum and go. It's always super hot at the beginning. Everyone is horny and the cocks are eager to get in a hole. Lots of slapping, verbal and kinks. My the middle of inevitably turns vanilla with guy after guy just fucking. (Not complaining) But it definitely picks up towards the end as the pace picks up and guys need to cum. That's when the kinks pick up again. My man installed two parallel bars on the wall that runs n perpendicular to the floor. I think they're meant for a shower. Then he installed a little shelf below them. This allows me to grab the bars, put my feet on the shelf, and squat suspended above the floor at ideal cock height. They can take control or I can bounce on their cocks for a long time because of the hand holds. It's a nice addition to our fuck room.

It varies, definitely, but there's only a few categories. The rest is degrees. There's salty, sweet, bitter and gross--i don't know how to describe it. It tastes like unnatural. I prefer the extremes and the bad ones because they are far less common and it reminds me that it doesn't fucking matter what I think.

Yeah, I was super curious too, and it's obvious when giving head, but I don't think I feel it after he's balls deep and pounding. Curved dicks are more noticable. I have lots of fun with them.

No. My hole is designed for fucking as well as myself. Giving up on anal will be the end of me.

It's been a while since I've posted, I've been... kept busy. I've been with my man for about eight months now. It started out with him, then he invited his two buddies to cum and go as they please. Then it was the bathroom gangbang. Since then, the open door policy is extended to so many more men. I honestly have no idea. Certainly there are many regulars, but far more complete strangers. Well over a hundred by now. Friday and Saturday are the busiest. He gets texts, and then they arrive. He often watches while jerking and then, when the doors close for the night, he fucks me HARD, and cums fast. The wonderful thing about being exposed to so many is that I've experienced everything. Every position, kink, fantasy and fetish. I'm about as whored out as is possible.

Most definitely.

I have to admit that BBRT is easier for me to navigate. I do wish that either the site, or guys would differentiate between poz undetectable and poz detectable. It would make things a lot better.

I think it is US guys.... Each of us grappling with our evolving social norms as our society adapts to the myriad subtle changes going on around us. Stupid stuff like having to get VPNs for example. Jury is still out on which seems most workable here in SE Wisconsin; but I am sure things are experienced differently in Chicago, which isn't all that far away.

Looks like I did it again this morning. I met a guy on Sniffies that is in town till Sunday afternoon that said he wanted to service my cock. His pic looked like he was really muscular and decently hung. When I met him, all I could think was OMG!!! This man was at least 6''6", 350#, and looked like a pro football linebacker with a thick 7 inch cock, and a gold wedding ring. He had me sit on the couch in his hotel roomsnd before I could drop my oants all the way, he was diving for my cock. He definitely has some excellent oral skills, and I shot my second huge load in 12 hours doen his throat. He didn't miss a drop, and wants to get together again before he leaves Sunday afternoon.

Success at the bathhouse on a Thursday evening. Two guys fucked me fairly early on, nothing much to say as they were a bit disappointing. However, the next two fucks were great. A slim young Asian guy hugged me in a dark room and responded positively to my caresses and hard cock. I sucked him large hard cock for a little while then got a vibe, not too obvious, that he was open to be fucked. I moved him towards the bed, not that easy with the number of guys jammed in the dark room some of whom were trying to snatch him away, and bent him over and from a standing position pushed my cock into his hole and started thrusting. Before Long I was getting much of my cock in but not all as the angle was right to get the thick base all the way in. I climbed up on the bed and was alt last able to ram in balls deep which he was enjoying. We continued for a while until I emptied my seed deep in his hole and he left seeking his next load. After I’d rested for 20 minutes I debated leaving or trying again. Eventually I tried the gloryhole booths. I sucked a couple of guys but when I moved my asshole to the gloryhole both left. (I find that behaviour a little frustrating as I’m happy to top or keep sucking if they’d only signal their preferences.) However, this was what the 3rd gut was hoping for and his cock was better than the previous two: long ad absolutely rock hard. He gave my hole a good work out.

At least for me, Sniffles is my current starting point app when I travel. It's even halfway decent for finding the in person cruising spots.

Yes - TONS of porn - pictures and video - on X/twitter. And yes - getting messages from users asking you to buy their content. A few years back, of the blue a "porn star" messaged me - and it was just friendly messages for about 2 weeks. Then he "invites" me to his private website - a paid website. I declined. About a week or two later I get an email from twitter saying lawyers had filed a complain against me for unauthorized posting of their clients pictures - yeah, the client was the "porn star" who asked me to join his paid website. Twitter blocked the posts - and i blocked the "porn star."

Issue cleared up after 3 days .. no word from support what happened ..

After a few years of being fingered by a family member, and sucking boys after school, by age 16 I was so ready to go further & try to get a real dick up my bum and I was lucky enough to run into a mate from school (same age as me) who was at the public toilets with his older friend (he was mid 20s) and they were happy to help out and I was not going to refuse, school mate was the first to slide in my rectum, he was bigger than me and he insisted on bareback and loading me, and I have never looked back, and yes his mate was so excited and he was hot for sloppy seconds so I sat on his too, and he was very well endowed to, but he was very happy to shoot quickly, I was feeling very full and very sore afterwards, but I still loved it 😈.

Think I might have to get my own son to read some of these posts on his next visit and sleep over, bed time stories for sure 😈☣😈

Nope but I was at my local bathhouse and they have a GH room, I had the guy sucking my cock and I asked if he wanted my piss, he said no. I thought if you rented a GH room you would expect someone to piss in/on you.