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I can't remember being asked at all. Not sure why; I think I look like any other guy in the fuckjoints - even back in Chgo I don't recall being asked, and around here, I'd be stunned if a guy would ask. It wouldn't surprise me if there were more poz guys than not at Slammer.

When you consider that I've been using the internet to hook up since the dial-up BBS days, you'd think I'd have run across more than 2 acquaintances, but it's just been 2. One was a guy (and his wife, but I didn't know her) on a swing site about 30 years ago. I had no interest but I sent him a note to advise a bit more discretion in his choice of public photos. He still doesn't know that I know/knew. The second guy is someone with whom I had a professional acquaintance - the company I worked for was a service provider for the company he worked for. He's been retired for a couple of years. Just the other day he reached out on A4A. I'm interested but haven't told him that we know each other yet.

I went last night, had low expectations because I'm an older guy, but it was OK. There were a lot of people there (sniffles reported 111 of their cruisers), all of the rooms were taken by the time I got there at 915. I got a locker, undressed and looked around. In the first hour there were just LOTS of people aimlessly walking around but not engaging (my pet hate at cruising venues - we are all here for the fucking, not the walking!). Then the fucking started, mostly in the big open area, in the rooms,and some in the corridor. However with lots of people comes the challenge that people start getting picky, they're all after a fuck with the few young adonis. So I took the strategy of working the darker corridors and slings. I get that not everyone is after a middle aged average guy when there is other fine steak on the menu so that's cool. In the end I took 7 cocks and 5 loads so I'm not complaining, but older bottoms will have less success here.

If you have become a no load refused hole for strangers, you can’t be safe all the time. I suppose PrEp and Doxy-PrEP are your only options. Or, you can just accept fate and keep doing what you are doing. Back in the 1980’s, I accepted the risks fully. My desires and needs outweighed the need to be “safe”. Although being mostly a top offered a little more protection, it was not without risk. I fucked everyone raw. I fucked anything that caught my eye. Back than, I even fucked women knowing they could possibly get pregnant. I suppose my need for raw sex overrode common sense. Eventually my luck ran out and I tested HIV+; but I was fine with that. I made my choice based on my needs. If you are doing the same, then enjoy yourself and be a slutty and take every raw cock and load you can get. Life life to the fullest with little or no regrets. Just remember, the only safe sex is no sex. The next level of safe sex is sex with the same partners exclusively who are 100% clean. Personally, I choose being a slut. It’s what works best for me.

Thanks for the responses, you guys. I always enjoy reading responses to thought-trains, hoping to read something worth pondering. Sometimes, it actually works, too.

Decided to join up back in October. Caucasian load taker in central Virginia. In BDSM I’m a switch player. Hope to hear from some folks, especially those in my area.

As a predominantly Top, I can only speak for myself . I tend to play off the bottoms vibe. Not knowing your discussion with the 22yo before meeting, it’s hard to draw any conclusions to your situation. If I had to speculate a hypothesis, I’d say things have definitely shifted to the more extreme side over the years for a few possible reasons. the ready access of porn might be to blame, or at least the prevalence of online access too hookup sites. Back when I was in my 20’s, I met and hooked up with guys the old fashioned way. Typically a drunk encounter in a gay bar. The only sexual ideas were from real practical experiences. As I hot older, and had more encounters, my understanding of sexual encounters expanded, as did my comfort level. It seems a lot of online guys lack practical experience and skills. another factor might be life in general. I don’t believe too many of us have escaped the growing tensions and restrictions of every day life. I find more people carry a great deal of frustration around. Sex can be a great release if done correctly, but not all bottoms are created equal. Some like being used and fucked without mercy, others not so much. my guess is your 22yo lacked practice experiences. And possibly the bottoms he was fucking didn’t offer constructive criticism or advice. If you liked how he treated you, than that is fine. If you felt he should have done things differently, than you should have offered some constructive guidance. It’s be my experience that young people in general lack a lot of the same qualities my generation were taught. It’s not just sexuality, but in general. I was lucky to have a lot of real life sexual encounters early on, AOL was in its early stages. I even had a few older mentors to help mold me into the Top I am today. Although I do enjoy the youthful energy and sex drive younger guys typically possess, it’s often not worth the frustration of emotional immaturity that often accompanies them. I have been fortunate to know a few younger people who were not typical, but they are getting harder to find. I suppose the system is winning! 😭

Your reply perfectly describes my experience and mindset. I have many sexual fantasies that involve “risky” sexual behavior. In each instance, I eventually succumbed to my fantasies and just went for it. At first it was bareback sex after talking to a guy for a while and asking for STI results. Then, it was bareback sex with strangers at public places, which eventually led to me being a cum dump at the bathhouse. Now I’m hooked on the rush, which for me means being used and bred by strangers in bathhouses, sketchy places, and not refusing any load ever. So, my mindset now is harm reduction— I’m going to do this and can’t stop myself, so how can I keep myself safe?

Who is or isn't comfortable doesn't always exactly correlate to size for me. I've had experiences with smaller guys that never feel good and larger guys who slide in just fine. I suspect it has something to do with individual "geography," slight variations of size/shape that can cause problems. In my case, I'm fine with length but girth and/or curve can be an issue for me. I've also found that using a lube injector is a big help - they make some that are compatible with silicone lube these days.

Some of my best encounters are with versatile guys - they know the experience from both sides. People are so peculiar.

I’ve had guys ask me this after they’ve already came in my ass. I’m like um… a little late for that, don’t you think? I have a fondness for anonymous sex and dark rooms— on talking, just animalistic sex and breeding.

Everyone’s risk assessment will vary greatly. What ever works for you and you feel comfortable doing is great. The notion of “risky sex” in itself implies some level of “risk”. If we remove all risk factors, than it no longer is considered “risky sex”. If it’s more of a fantasy based implication, than you can make it whatever you want, or need it to be. although I have been undetectable for over 20 years, I still mostly get with guys who are undetectable or on PrEP. Not so much because of risk of HIV infection, I am already infected. But because I feel more comfortable if someone takes the time and energy to look after themselves and their health. I understand I can catch other things, and that is part of the allure of engaging in risky sex. I am comfortable with the consequences and possibly needing a round or two of some medication. The risk outweighs any desire for a safe and boring sex life. if you are anything like me, my sexual fantasies eventually become inadequate to sustain my satisfaction. Eventually I seek out a physical presence in order to quench my risky needs. But that is an individuals choice. As long as people can be satisfied with how they handle their desires, great. To each their own.

Yep! Clean as a whistle! I spent all day douching my fat hairy ass!

That really sucks. It’s a shame people still feel the need to shame and condemn others. I know it happens, probably more frequently than I can even imagine. Most of us have way too much on our plates in our daily lives. At least for myself, my online presence is a sacred space where I can let my hair down and reveal my true self and hopefully connect with others with similar interests and desires. You should definitely be allowed the same privilege, no matter your interests. Sounds like breeding.zone can be that safe place you need. Granted it’s not typically the “hookup” site like others sites are, but you might get lucky. Hopefully if you contact someone from the website, they can at least block him for the time being. I have found most negative stalkers find a way to come back online eventually. Good luck and hold fast to your desires. Don’t let the A-hole win!

A bottom does “not owe” a top anything. A top does “not owe” a bottom anything. It pisses me off, and saddens me when a bottom believes that is his duty in life to be treated like trash. As I have said in other topics, no one will abuse me. If he continues doing something I don’t like, after I’ve asked him to stop or take it easy, there will be problems. I might still get hurt, but he will always remember what he did to me. Unfortunately, this society is getting increasingly more mean. There is a belief that if I want something, I deserve it, no matter what the consequences are for others. People have got to start saying, “enough is enough.”

Sorry you are having to deal with this idiot. Stressful and unpleasant, but as people have said above, he is the one with the problem.