rawTOP

I think you're confusing a few terms. For starters regular people can be exposed to HIV and not become HIV positive. It typically takes quite a few exposures to become poz. Back before ARVs existed it was thought to be 100 exposures (on average) - though some people get it on the first exposure and others get it on the 1000th exposure. A lot depends on the viral load of the poz guy they're having sex with. BTW, You were confusing the term exposure with infection. Exposure means you come in contact with HIV, infection means you become HIV positive. Some people are immune to HIV (about 1% of people of Northern European ancestry - thanks to their ancestors being exposed to Small Pox and surviving). It means when HIV enters their body it can't establish a foothold. (Actually, there are a few strains of HIV that can infect these people but they're rare). In that case there's no infection - just exposure. Other people are resistant to HIV (about 10% of people of Northern European ancestry). That means when HIV enters their body it finds it difficult to establish a foothold - but not impossible. These people are less likely to become poz than a regular person. Taking PrEP is somewhat similar to being resistant to HIV. PrEP makes it difficult for infection to happen by blocking the paths HIV uses to establish itself and infect the person. And yet another group are considered to be HIV controllers. That means they have no protection from infection, but once infected their body can naturally keep the viral load relatively low without meds. Their viral load isn't undetectable, but even their lower viral load they have does have benefits. They may choose to go on meds later and if they don't go on meds at all they will survive much longer than other people who don't go on meds. As far as antibodies - they only exist in people who are infected. I know that's different than other diseases where antibodies can show that you successfully fought off the infection, but it's how it is with HIV. People who are immune or resistant do not have antibodies unless they become poz. Being on PrEP does not give you antibodies. Nor does PEP give you anti-bodies. The purpose of PrEP and PEP is to prevent infection, not fight infection once it's happened. There are vaccine trials where they cripple HIV viruses and put them into your body to try to cause infection by a form of HIV that can't hurt you. Those people do get antibodies, but that's never been done widely since all the vaccine trials to date have failed (rather miserably). Genetic tests (such as those done by 23AndMe) can tell you if you're immune, resistant or a controller (plus a whole lot more).

Try running this site for a week or two and you'll understand where I'm coming from. Most guys who bareback are not meth addicts. The ones who are neg probably aren't usually wanting to become poz. The poz guys probably aren't looking to be gift givers. Yet meth, bug chasing and gift giving dominate this site. I just want it to have a better balance. Some of the dominant topics on this site are huge turn-offs to a lot of barebackers. I don't want to only serve a subset of a subset. And there's a huge difference between a serious discussion about risk taking where guys accept they will probably become poz and some of the "HIV fetish" conversation where becoming poz is the objective, not the side effect. Then there are the STD chasers who want to get sick and "full-blown" - shit like that should never be a public discussion - it needs it's own place. Chem sex... Other than pot, poppers and alcohol I have zero interest in fostering that discussion. It has it's own space on here because I know a lot of barebackers are into it and because I don't want the conversation seeping into other discussions on the site. And yes, moderation can be a little uneven. We try, but there are only so many of us who moderate the site. If you see something that seems wrong there's a little triangular button below each post - click on it and report it so we notice. But when I moderate I ask myself whether something has crossed the line into "HIV fetish" - honest discussions of becoming poz are fine. I'm closing this thread. This really isn't up for discussion. You probably won't understand the changes until you see them in action.

I'd say refuse to use condoms. If they'll only top bareback, then be a bottom for them. But make it clear that if they want to get fucked it's gotta be raw. Then the next question is do you pull out to cum - some will ask for that. IMHO, there's no point barebacking if the guy bottoming doesn't get at least part of the load in his ass.

I need the URL where you posted your details. I don't have the time to go on a hunt... Next to your post is a number (like the #1 on your post above). Right click and choose "copy link location" (or whatever your browser has as the equivalent). Then paste that link here.

I was asking about Cialis and Levitra. Do they have the same interaction problems with poppers as Viagra?

Have him keep his diary here - that's what the member blog section is all about. Actually I encourage all of you to use the blog section to keep track of your sex life.

I know you're not supposed to do poppers with Viagra. Is it also a bad idea to do poppers with Cialis or Levitra? Or what about things that are more local like Caverject / MUSE or Trimix? Please only respond if you are a medical professional, scientist, etc. or have discussed this issue with a medical professional, scientist, etc. I don't want people giving out medical advice without some basis in fact.

I used to go further. I'd create a folder on my hard drive and store pictures of the guys I'd hooked up with. The spreadsheet and the blogs are the more efficient version.

Moderation Note: I just moved this to the "What is it like to be poz?" section of the site. I didn't want a discussion like this to become buried in General Discussion. And the question is part of the poz experience - so it's not a completely inappropriate place to put it. Now, as far as the original question... What you're really asking is whether poz guys should just be cumdumps. My dick says yes poz guys should just take any and all loads. But Hep C can be nasty if you don't respond well to the meds and if the antibiotics stop working and the nasty strain of gonorrhea gets widespread then that could be pretty bad too. The question really comes down to what's right for you... Which will you regret most? Doing something you later think was stupid or not experiencing everything you want in life? Would you rather live a long boring life or a short, intense life?

Between my blog and the spreadsheet I keep of who I've fucked, I've got a diary. In the spreadsheet I keep profile name + real name (if I know it), whether they were a new fuck, and whether I came.

I think it's sorta hot that you derive no pleasure from sex. Though I can see where that can get boring and you might become a bad lay as a result. Still, being a cumdump just because it's your duty has a certain appeal to it.

I wish… He's hot!

Well, I just permanently banned someone I think was mentally ill - their posts were bizarre and not based in any sense of reality. Posting while you're so high you're bouncing off the walls will probably also get you banned. Repeatedly posting in the wrong area will get you banned. Posting about bug chasing, gift giving or chem sex in a public part of the site will get you temporarily banned. To me it's all sorta common sense sorta stuff.

That would get CumUnion in trouble with the local health departments - so unlikely to ever happen.

Would love to give you a load.

They were mailed to the CumUnion organizers this week. Should be arriving about now. That means they should be available at next week's parties. A couple of you have asked for wristbands, but can't make it to a CumUnion party. There are a few options... 1) Meet up in NYC (free) 2) Have it mailed to you ($2 for the first two, plus 50 cents each additional) Contact me if you want to get one via one of those methods.

I had been getting hardons and the like but didn't really think in terms of sex with other people until one time when I was shopping with my family. We were in the women's clothing section (between my mom and my 4 sisters we spent a lot of time shopping for women's clothes). Anyway I was bored and noticed there was a magazine in one of the bins of clothes. It was Playgirl's Men Of Europe. I made sure no one was looking and opened it up and took a look. The dicks looked really weird to me since they were uncut. But it was the first time I really thought about sex with a guy. I felt a really intense attraction to the guys in there which as I processed it all later made me realize I was gay - though I didn't act on it for many years. I wanted to take the magazine home but couldn't figure out how to smuggle it out of the store. Later I realized I might have been able to stick it down the back of my pants under my shirt - in the small of my back. But that would have been pretty risky. Can't imagine what would have happened if I had gotten caught or if my parents had found it at home. [Later they found my doodles of hard cocks - that was embarrassing enough]. I looked it up and Playgirl's Men of Europe was published in 1982. So I would have been 14 when all this happened.

What to folks think the CumUnion NYC party will be like this weekend? I mean it's a big holiday when a lot of people go out of town, and a lot of pigs are in Chicago for IML. I was planning on doing something else that day, but with the rain I won't be able to do what I was planning, so I'm thinking I might go to CumUnion and have some fun being a slut.

If you can't tell who the other guy is, then it's deniable if he asks if it's him... You should post some of those videos provided the top can't be identified in them.

I had a fissure for about 20 years that would keep coming back on me. Finally last year I went to see a colo-rectal surgeon and she managed to fix it by having me apply a cream 2 or 3 times a day. They take a high blood pressure medicine and compound it into a cream. The medicine gets your sphincter to relax. Relaxation is what is needed to heal fissures. That medicine has about a 65% cure rate - it worked for me and my fissure was very old and deep. Mind you I had to apply the cream longer than most people do - but the point is, it can work even on bad fissures. If that doesn't work then the next option is Botox injections into the sphincter. Botox numbs things and forces your sphincter to relax. However, if Botox doesn't work, then you'll need surgery. But before you do any of that - take lots of fiber. You can get Metamucil in powder form or buy the same stuff in capsules. Given your condition I'd take close to the max amount recommended on the bottle. Basically the fiber insures that what comes out doesn't irritate your ass too much.

The wrist bands have arrived... I'll mail them to the CumUnion organizers this week. They should start being available at CumUnion parties a week or so later - possibly even sooner.

As the song says "if you love something, let it go..." The scenario you describe sounds like the beginning of a breakup. I know you technically have an open relationship, but you're not acting like it and monogamy/jealousy can break up relationships like nothing else. It's not just the "cheating" - the flip side of the coin is that insecurity isn't sexy. People don't like being around it so they move onto something better.

You can edit your profile through "Settings" or "My Profile" in the upper right hand corner. They work slightly differently. Let us know if you can't figure it out.

For those of you who are wondering what emb is talking about, I started PrEP (i.e. taking HIV meds when you're neg to avoid becoming poz). You can find the details about my decison to go on PrEP on my blog... To answer emb's question - it's been uneventful. There was one brief moment when I had some nausea, but don't know that it was caused by the Truvada. I have been taking more sexual risks - going to sex parties and doing stuff I didn't used to do. I like the fact that I have the additional layer of protection since it sort of balances the additional risk. It's fun to be a slut and I'd probably do most of it anyway, even without PrEP, but it's nice to know I probably won't become poz in the process. The new lower level of risk has made me think about pushing the limits at next year's MAL - hosting parties where guys share loads - dumping cum out of one guy's ass into a condom and then putting the contents of the condom up some other guy's ass. That's a scenario where even tops can take loads - and lots of them. I had sort of come to peace with the idea of becoming poz before I went on PrEP, but then when I re-evaluated PrEP and saw it wasn't so bad, I figured why not stay neg? At the same time my desire to stay neg isn't so strong that I'll curb my sexual experimentation...

I've heard that one of the owners/producers at one of the well-known condom studios - someone who publicly berates bareback porn for being dangerous, etc. - has actually intentionally pozzed guys before. I tend to believe the source, but don't have enough facts to actually name names.