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rawTOP

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Everything posted by rawTOP

  1. rawTOP
    As the song says "if you love something, let it go..." The scenario you describe sounds like the beginning of a breakup. I know you technically have an open relationship, but you're not acting like it and monogamy/jealousy can break up relationships like nothing else. It's not just the "cheating" - the flip side of the coin is that insecurity isn't sexy. People don't like being around it so they move onto something better.
  2. rawTOP
    You can edit your profile through "Settings" or "My Profile" in the upper right hand corner. They work slightly differently. Let us know if you can't figure it out.
  3. rawTOP
    For those of you who are wondering what emb is talking about, I started PrEP (i.e. taking HIV meds when you're neg to avoid becoming poz). You can find the details about my decison to go on PrEP on my blog... To answer emb's question - it's been uneventful. There was one brief moment when I had some nausea, but don't know that it was caused by the Truvada. I have been taking more sexual risks - going to sex parties and doing stuff I didn't used to do. I like the fact that I have the additional layer of protection since it sort of balances the additional risk. It's fun to be a slut and I'd probably do most of it anyway, even without PrEP, but it's nice to know I probably won't become poz in the process. The new lower level of risk has made me think about pushing the limits at next year's MAL - hosting parties where guys share loads - dumping cum out of one guy's ass into a condom and then putting the contents of the condom up some other guy's ass. That's a scenario where even tops can take loads - and lots of them. I had sort of come to peace with the idea of becoming poz before I went on PrEP, but then when I re-evaluated PrEP and saw it wasn't so bad, I figured why not stay neg? At the same time my desire to stay neg isn't so strong that I'll curb my sexual experimentation...
  4. rawTOP
    I've heard that one of the owners/producers at one of the well-known condom studios - someone who publicly berates bareback porn for being dangerous, etc. - has actually intentionally pozzed guys before. I tend to believe the source, but don't have enough facts to actually name names.
  5. rawTOP
    A bullet proof vest is considered protection even though you can get shot in the head or through an arm hole and die. Never said the risk was zero, and I'm fine with becoming poz if it happens, but would prefer to stay neg - just don't prefer it enough to give up risky sex completely.
  6. rawTOP
    I've always wondered what it takes. @MindtripLITR posted on Twitter that his favorite LA cumhole had taken 47 loads in 3 hours - that's a load every 3.8 minutes. When I've organized gangbangs the best I've done is when a bottom will take say 15 loads in 3 hours - and even that is hard to accomplish. I'd love to know what it takes to organize something where a bottom can get lots of loads.
  7. rawTOP
    So how does it work when CumUnion is at a bathhouse? Is the CumUnion party just in one area or does it spread all over the place? Do guys who are attending the party get rooms? Can the regular bathhouse patrons go into the designated CumUnion area (assuming there is one)?
  8. rawTOP
    He's gay, not just gay-friendly. Not sure about him and bareback. I mentioned that I do and he didn't lecture me about it. But at the same time I was asking to go on PrEP - so maybe he's OK with it in that context.
  9. rawTOP
    That's pretty much never going to happen. It would disrupt the flow of the conversation in many cases - essentially creating holes in the conversations. When the site was starting I was just happy if someone signed up. And to a point that's still the case. We have critical mass for what the site is, but not to turn the site into say a hookup site (just not enough people in any particular area). So yes, I would love it if people would say more in their profile, but that's difficult to force on people.
  10. rawTOP
    My best friend is looking at houses in the Pines. Hopefully he'll buy one, but he's looked at so many houses in so many places I'm starting to think he'll never buy anything.
  11. rawTOP
    As I understand it there are two types of tests. The standard looks for antibodies to HIV. So if you're undetectable you still have antibodies and will show up as poz. The only unexpected thing with those tests is that people who have been in HIV vaccine trials may test positive even when they're neg because their bodies have created antibodies in reaction to the vaccine. The other test is an RNA test. If I understand that test correctly it's actually looking for the virus, not the antibodies. In that case someone who is undetectable might test neg. Not 100% sure about that though.
  12. rawTOP
    Wrong analogy... Now lets say he left his wallet at a bar. When he goes back for it he finds $20 missing. Yeah, the person stole, but I'd say the thief was being incredibly kind by leaving all his IDs. I'd say that is roughly the equivalent of a undetectable or confidently neg top blowing a load in a safe sex bottom who's bent over in a dark room. The person who steals the entire wallet and then uses the IDs for identity theft would be equivalent to a poz top with a high viral load blowing a load in the bottom. In the end an undetectable or neg top is actually doing the guy a favor. He'll discover cum in his ass, freak out, and figure out that bending over in a dark room is a bad idea. OR, he'll jack off to the idea and go back and start bug chasing... Either way I don't see a problem if the top can't infect the bottom.
  13. rawTOP
    Just so you know... A new version of the forum software was just released. We'll probably upgrade in a month or two. Apparently the new software requires that Javascript be turned on. So your problems with this site will only get worse after the upgrade (apparently). It's 2013 & Javascript is as important to the web experience as HTML...
  14. rawTOP
    I gotta say I agree. A safe sex top can go into a dark room and pull out a rubber. And a safe sex bottom can go into a dark room and suck dick. But a safe sex bottom who throws his legs in the air or bends over a fuck bench in a dark room is just being incredibly stupid. They need to find a more appropriate place to get fucked. There is one exception to that - if the context of the dark room is a safe sex party. But if there's considerable barebacking going on, then the bottom should not be getting fucked in a dark room.
  15. rawTOP
    There's a great article in POZ this month - I urge all of you to read it (the reader is a bit irritating, but it's worth the effort)... http://issuu.com/smartandstrong/docs/poz_hiv_aids_0188/32 Basically the author goes through all the different ways we're divided as a community. Neg guys think less of poz guys because they should have been more careful, etc. Poz guys think neg guys are holier-than-thou assholes. Neg and poz guys think guys who've recently gotten pozzed were foolish and irresponsible. Some poz and neg guys think barebackers are evil - spreading death and disease. Others think guys on PrEP are sluts who are cheating the system somehow. Very few respect our elders who often still suffer from serious HIV-related conditions. And so on... So do you agree with him? Is stigma as big of a problem as he says? I live in a bit of a bubble. I'm in NYC, have lots of poz friends, I'm part of the bareback community, etc. The majority of people around me are pretty accepting. And in general I think barebackers are some of the most accepting people you'll find. But HIV still scares my boyfriend. My best friend (who's poz) can't stand the thought that HIV is running around his body - he feels unclean and dirty (in his case he's a victim of his own stigma). And at the porn conference a few months ago he heard neg bareback porn stars talking negatively about the poz size of bareback porn. So stigma exists even in the "good places" - I'm sure it gets worse when you get outside of the big cities. What's your experience been with stigma? And by that I'm talking about the way gay guys stigmatize each other - not so much about how the straight world stigmatizes us - that's another discussion completely. [And if you're wondering why this is under the Sexual Health Section - it's because I wanted to put it in a place where it wouldn't get lost and it would classify as a mental health issue...]
  16. rawTOP
    The negative effects of drug use can be discussed outside the sub-forum specified for discussion of PNP. Your mention of triggers for recovering addicts is a good way to define what's allowed outside the sub-forum and what's not. A discussion that reinforces their decision to stay sober is always OK.
  17. rawTOP
    I take it you haven't been in a long-term relationship. Let's say the term "long-term monogamous" is a contradiction in terms for all but a very small group of people. There are a whopping 2 gay couples that I know who are long-term who I believe are monogamous. The vast majority have open relationships. In fact when you talk to gay couples the vast majority agree that if they had stuck to monogamy their relationships would be long over. Do not think of monogamy as a way to stay neg. There are plenty of stories of guys who's partners played around on the side, got infected, and then infected the monogamous partner.
  18. rawTOP
    I'm in NYC and have been wanting a boy... Tell me more about the type of scene you're looking for? Do you have prior experience being owned by a dom?
  19. rawTOP
    Sounds like it could be an STD, but probably not HIV. Whatever it is, you need to get tested and treated.
  20. rawTOP
    Taking PrEP has been completely uneventful. No side effects. It's nice knowing I've got the protection. I can be an even bigger pig and not worry about the risks I'm taking.
  21. rawTOP
    I go to Callen-Lorde. There's a lot of turn over in their doctors/NPs. Some are better than others. I recently started seeing Victor - he seems pretty good, and he's definitely OK with PrEP since he's prescribing it for me.
  22. rawTOP
    A couple weeks ago I went to Hunter College and participated in a study about PrEP (taking HIV meds while you're neg in order to stay neg). It just takes a couple hours and all they want is to understand is people's attitudes towards PrEP and what types of marketing messages communicate the facts most clearly and are the most compelling. Much of the study is done via quantitative, computer-based surveys, but at the end you talk 1-on-1 with a researcher about what you know about PrEP and how you feel about it. To be completely honest, I didn't love the study - it wasn't bad - it just wasn't great. So I won't say it's for everyone. But if you've got questions about PrEP I think it's a good use of your time. The study has flaws (IMHO), but it is good at explaining the fundamental facts and you can talk 1-on-1 with someone who understands PrEP really well. If you're interested, contact the researchers... PrEPARE NYC 212-396-6084 preparenyc@hunter.cuny.edu http://www.cunyhart.org When you talk to them tell them you were referred by someone and give one of the following referral numbers: 72261, 72262, 72263. Oh yeah... They'll pay you $60 to be in the study...
  23. rawTOP
    I've ordered the wrist bands. Here's the digital proof... So it's light gray text on a dark gray band. It'll be debossed and color filled. The text is the same font as the Breeding Zone logo - though it doesn't look as good when it's all out in a row. I moved away from doing glow-in-the-dark and went with a color palette that's more in line with this site. For $10 more I could have put a second message on the band. I thought about repeating the logo, but decided against it. I was holding off ordering - trying to figure out a phrase. Then this morning in the shower (a day after ordering the bands) it came to me... "BAREBACK ONLY". The idea being they'd be in a box or bowl as people checked in and that way the safe sex guys would know that person doesn't want to use condoms. But the purpose of that band is very different it would be to identify Breeding Zone members it would be for marketing purposes so guys who are only into bareback would know about the site. So for now we'll just run with the original idea - a band to identify members. In the future I may do a more marketing oriented band. So if you get one of the membership bands hang on to it.
  24. rawTOP
    That's one of the weaknesses of the site - finding people close to you. You can do an advanced user search and search for particular phrase in the City field. NY will also bring back NYC (since it's a contains search), but you'll also have to search for New York (which will include New York City).
  25. rawTOP
    Let me fuck you. I'm neg and on PrEP...

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