NWUSHorny

The same thing isn't going to work all of the time in every place. As someone who travels a lot I have learned that I have to get a feel for the place and go with the flow.

Congratulations on your 1st visit to a sex club, and I'm glad you actually had sex while you were there!

I haven't changed much if any in the last 25 years. I definitely enjoy random hookups, as well as ongoing fuckbud types of situations (which seem to be exceptionally difficult for me to find where I've lived for the last 16 years but have continued maintain them in places I visit frequently). Even though I love random hookups, I've never been a huge fan of glory holes, darkrooms or blindfolded partners, I'll settle for that if that is all that is available but it isn't my preference. Unlike several of you, the area I live enjoyed a period of pent up demand for hookups after the COVID vaccines became available. While it seems to be well on it's way to returning to normal for this area, there is still more random hookup sex available than most of the time. I've also had some really good luck traveling, not necessarily at the same venues as before the pandemic, but I still seem to have fairy good instincts in sniffing out decent spots in most cities.

Possible, or another really weird trend here is going to a sex venue more often than they allow themselves to cum. I had a few guys tell me about that particular "fetish" more than 10 years ago at an adult theater in Portland. One guy (a versatile guy that was actually a good fuck) was at the theater everytime I would go, only allowed himself to have sex and cum once a week. Once I learned that tidbit about him, I could ask him when he last had sex and ignore him if it was within the last week.

This is very true, I frequently get myself into this at PNW bathhouse after as little as a half hour of watching the no mating dance and other anti-sexual behavior, I find I can't get it up, until either I leave or see someone else actually fucking (which you can easily spend 6-8 hours without evidence of anyone fucking).

I feel your frustration. The amount of actual fucking on really good weekend night in a Portland or Seattle bathhouse is the equivalent of a really slow week night in other cities I'm familiar with. Counter intuitively the bigger the crowd the less sex of any kind. They seem to feed on each other's inhibitions.

There are 2 options here, both of them have the same issue. Last Saturday, was actually a really active night by local standards, I didn't get the amount of sex I get in a lot of other places, but did not leave frustrated for a change. When I travel frequently, I usually don't even bother looking for hookups locally, it is simply not worth the frustration.

I felt sorry for the guy. There have been many nights I have left extremely frustrated, including weekend nights, due to the complete lack of fucking which completely kills my hard on. With that said last Saturday was not one of those nights, so he really only had his own inhibitions to blame.

I have to agree with most of this. The only thing I would disagree with, is that there are Saturday nights when even bottoms that want to fuck are unavailable in Portland bathhouses, last Saturday was not one of those really bad nights.

My point exactly, that is how sex establishments are supposed to work!

I didn't get gang banged since I fucked as well as getting fucked, but I had really good luck being in Palm Springs during a Western Exposure event weekend last summer. I haven't tried going to bear specific events anywhere else. It was definitely the most loads I've ever taken in a single weekend.

That pretty much sums up why I've had a lot more gay sex than straight sex in my lifetime, I'm definitely not wired for monogamy. Here is my contribution: In straight culture it is the fucker that is insatiable and always wanting sex and is controlled by the fuckee. In gay culture it is the fuckee that is insatiable and always wanting sex and is controlled by the fucker.

I pop random boners and seem to have that problem most of the time, so I really can't tell if the I made the wet spot on the to the bathhouse or after I left.

That is possible. Personally, that would be an extremely frustrating situation if there was no one to hookup with like happens way too frequently here.

He had turned me down less than 10 minutes earlier. Guys like that are the norm here, I've been watching some of them not have sex for the entire 16 years I've lived here, but I've never caught any of them leaving with a painful looking hard on.

Unfortunately fuckfests like you are describing are rare to the point of being non-existent here. I'm not saying he didn't fuck or get fucked at all, but he didn't fuck his brains out or get his brains fucked out at the bathhouse last night. By the time he and I left the bathhouse the fucking activity level had been at stuck at zero for an hour or more. He could have decided to leave and try his luck at the other bathhouse in town, but if he was actually looking to breed or get bred he was most likely to be SOL there too. I have a lot of experience trying that and know there are cities where it works, but this is not one of them.

Maybe, I don't know for sure, but I have serious doubts that he ever used it. I've never taken one, but I was under the impression things calm down after you cumor at least after cumming a few times. He was in the club for more than 4 hours, so he should have had multiple opportunities to empty his balls.

Early this morning when I went to leave the bathhouse, there was a younger guy getting dressed to leave that had a dick so hard that it looked painful. I know this is Portland, so it was not by any means an orgy atmosphere, but there was a wide variety of guys (including younger guys who would be considered hot by any standard) and there was some fucking (albeit mostly tentative rather than all out balls to the wall uninhibited fucking I prefer) and sucking, plus as usual a lot of foreplay, that didn't seem to be advancing to anything that would actually meet the definition of sex. As well as fetish play, it was pup night so lots of guys in dog masks with some of them being walked on a leash, as well as the usual couple of guys with caged cocks walking by themselves and at least one guy carrying a dildo around with him, which very which usually doesn't even lead to guys touching each other, let alone sex, although last night was an exception in that there were a few of the masked pups actually engaged in fucking. This particular guy had been making the loop though the club for most of the time I was there with numerous men (including me) trying to get him to do something, yet he apparently found it necessary to leave without meeting his physical sexual needs. I just don't get it.

I remember seeing a lot of MAGA signs and flags in FL with my parents last winter. I don't remember where they were most concentrated since we drove both coasts, but they were noticably present most places.

I wish more guys would discover this. Especially if the guy topping is uncut, you should at least try it without before adding artificial lube. With that said I have fucked guys that stay to dry to comfortably fuck without, but kow at this point my own hole self-lubes enough for any dick to use it with just spit to get started.

I can't disagree with any of that. I have had a few fuckbuds that identified as total top, but all of them let me top them at least occasionally, but as you said we aren't trying to attract the same tops. While it is not a scientific poll, I would still enjoy seeing some more responses to ErosWired's poll. I would actually love to see some good polls on the percentages of tops, bottoms and versatile for men who have sex with men, I kind of hope total bottoms at over 50% are over represented here on BZ, but kind of suspect they aren't. I have seen some fairly solid polls in academic research, that indicate only 30-35% of men who have sex with men engage in anal sex, which I suspect is fairly accurate.

Yet, your earlier posts on this thread have validated the point I've been trying to make: Even this one goes to the gist of what I'm trying to say:

@tallslenderguy I wouldn't exactly label my feelings about total bottoms as disdain, but will admit there is some frustration there, and do believe that some men are total bottoms by choice, while others truly can't perform as a top for a variety of reasons. I am always amazed when there is a poll here on BZ that asks for an answer that can be used to determine if someone is a total bottom the poll always comes out with more than half of the respondents claiming to be total bottoms, which doesn't really fit a bell curve since I've yet to see one of those polls come out with even 10% identifying as total tops. That is possible, but I still have my doubts. As to the topic of this post and many other posts I've either started or commented on, I do think there are a lot of total bottoms that are repelled by the idea of participating in any kind of sex with their cocks, but do not see the inverse of that from tops. In fact I see the opposite, almost every top on this forum, much like your FB, expresses an interest in their bottoms cocks, in most cases like to suck cock. My primary use for this forum has been to try to figure out how to get more guys to actively engage in casual fucking and encourage casual fucking across the board. I know my biases are entering into it here, but I frequently engage entirely as a top when I'm at a sex venue, even though I would prefer to be bottoming half of the time, mostly because keeping the sex going increases my chances of getting to bottom. Maybe it is unreasonable, but my expectation is that, like you are doing for your FB, bottoms could at least allow their top partners to play with and suck their cocks to facilitate sex happening. Having a cock pic available on the hookup apps seems to me to be a really small price to pay to facilitate more fucking, and several bottom posters have confirmed that they get asked for cock pics and have put them on their hookup profiles or leave their cocks on offer when they are hooking up at an in person avenue for exactly that reason. If we are all lucky, maybe all of us will wind up getting more fucks to satisfy our wants. I'm also interested to see some more responses to the poll that the OP created as a sideline to this thread, he only has 4 responses from total tops, but so far even among total tops, 75% are interested in their bottoms cocks. I'm guessing if you ran a similar poll for just versatile tops, you would find 99.99 of versatile tops are interested in their bottoms cocks, as well as getting 3 times as many responses.

While I will readily admit I am both reading too much into this, and applying my own biases, I think bottoms not showing their cocks in the hookup apps diminishes the amount of casual sex available for everyone, including the bottoms trying to get fucked. Other than a few guys that are in deep denial about being gay or bi, most of the potential tops know that they are intentionally hooking up with a man, and prefer to see you as a man with a cock. There are numerous threads here on BZ by bottoms, about how to make their cock smaller, how to keep from getting hard, how to prevent tops from touching your cock, and etc. I see not providing a picture of your male sexual equipment on the hookup apps as an extension of this. I can't prove it but I see this as a cause for the lack of gay sex in some cities and regions. Here is my theory: once you have enough guys taking their own cocks completely out of the hookup sex equation, you start seeing the less sexual driven bottoms and tops giving up. Once that happens in an area, guys start finding alternative ways to have "sex", you start seeing profiles that exclusively list non-fucking activities that 2 bottoms can do with each other without involving cock. You see guys start up groups to hold cuddle parties that specificly state no contact below the waist allowed, and the local sex clubs start hosting events that cater to these non-fucking tastes like massage night, dildo playdate night, and fetish nights that devolve into nothing more than modeling your fetish gear or acting out a kink no fucking. Once those things become normalized, guys that are actually trying to top and actually bottom give up on using the apps, bottoms stop presenting their asses at cruising spots, sex clubs and bathhouses. Ultimately the 30-35% of us that are truly in the versatile to top range stop looking for asses to fuck on the apps and at in person cruising spots and venues out of pure frustration.

My personal experience with men fucking men is not limited to the PNW. Despite the fact that I have lived in the PNW for almost half of the time I have been having gay sex, I would guess that the number of hookups represents less than 15% of my gay hookups. Most of the time I have lived here I was traveling at least 75% of the time, and had my hookups in other regions sparing myself the frustration of trying to hookup locally. Total tops, or guys that concentrate solely on the ass and hole when they are topping, are exceedingly rare everywhere I've ever hooked up. The guys you are hooking up with are not disqualifying you for not participating with your cock, but I would bet a significant are at least somewhat disappointed. My other observation is that there are a lot of total bottoms that feel exactly like you do on the subject.