ErosWired

What it means, at least up to this point, is registering your identity with XTube in the form of a Nonexclusive Amateur Model License Agreement. This involves signing and submitting a legal agreement containing your name, address, phone number, email address, and signature, as well as photos of your driver’s license or other qualifying photo ID. I signed one 10 years ago when I was thinking about possibly camming. I ended up just posting some old videos of myself I made when I was younger. My videos were still up as of last night. If you don’t like the idea of a porn site’s corporate owners having your personally identifying information, you’re probably not going to become ‘verified’ under the existing system. And even if you do, under the agreement you’re still not allowed to upload video of anyone else with you unless they’re *also* verified amateur models, so unless you know such people, it’s going to be a lot of solo video. You can forget about seeing clips of guys getting anon bred. Not that being a ‘Nonexclusive Amateur Model’ has ever done me any good - I’ve never been lucky enough to encounter Tops who wanted to film themselves fucking me... yet.

Wait - the priest fucked you, then wanted you to pray for your sins?

The problem at the center of sites like Pornhub is that their trade is vice... and society defines vice in very imprecise and capricious terms. A quick search finds these definitions: Vice - noun 1. an immoral or evil habit or practice. 2. immoral conduct; depraved or degrading behavior; wickedness. 3. sexual immorality, especially prostitution. 4. criminal activity involving prostitution, pornography, or drugs. 4. a particular form of depravity. 5. a fault, defect, or shortcoming; a bad habit. This range runs the gamut from nose-picking to child prostitution, so obviously not all vice is the same in terms of its potential impact on people. The trouble is, the core of all vice is a human willingness, at some point, at some level, for some rationale, to disregard what are commonly understood to be virtuous decisions in favor of vices. A service like Pornhub establishes a place that creates an atmosphere of tolerance for vice that cannot easily regulate itself because vice is a nebulous concept and one man’s vice may be another man’s desire. By offering a place for men to openly trade in vice, Pornhub created a vector for trade in vice of varied descriptions, all of it very difficult to regulate because the product at the core of their operation, vice, is so ill-defined and subject to something even more subjective: morality. It’s not hard to single out child rape and human trafficking as intolerable vices - their harms are real, obvious and egregious. What PornHub, and similar sites, now face however, is not just a drive to rid society of those evil vices, but of the systems that made it possible for them to exist at all. Looked at broadly, this is the same as the reaction that gave rise to FOSTA/SESTA, with the same result: The way to extinguish the immoral heathens is to raze their villages to the ground so they have nowhere left to go. This is unlikely to stop the child rape and human trafficking, but at least the heathens will be good and quit fapping off to porn. Of course they will.

According to CNN, Pornhub slashed the number of videos on its site from 13.8 million... to 3 million. For them to have jettisoned just over 78% of the content that is their bread and butter in one fell swoop, they must have been fairly certain that they were facing a potentially business-ending, bank-account-emptying, jail-time-making threat. All content must now come from verified providers, which basically means that if you’re not a professional pornographer working in the trade, you can still upload video, but only if they’re holding a picture of your ID and have a record of all your personal information. And even then the footage can only be of you solo or with another person who has given them verification info. I mean, you can do it. I registered myself with XTube a few years ago when I was thinking about camwhoring - didn’t end up doing it, but I did send them photos of my ID. But I don’t see Pornhub recovering to what it was like this. They must have been desperate.

I understand your point if view given your emphasis on ongoing use situations, but such arrangements only apply to a segment of the ejaculating population. The promiscuous model is inescapable, and for many the preferred vector for contact because serial intercourse with dedicated partners is not available. Or they just get off on anon dudes. Either way, it’s a sex life in which each encounter is enhanced by the intensity of the moment, a moment between two men who may never fuse in this way again, and in that sense, it often feels as though a facial would represent potential forsaken. You’re quite right, in the kind of serial use situation you describe, and especially an ownership relationship, opportunity exists to take advantages of the vast array of colorings a Dominant may use to create an intricate and nuanced canvas of humiliation and control. Those who relish the chance to serve under such conditions are fortunate to encounter you. The majority, however, I fear would not appreciate the forethought you give to choosing to ejaculate across their nose, and simply wish you had bred them. As it is said, one must not cast one’s pearls before swine... the pearls go in the swine.

Your question seems to be specifically about how to maintain your sexual arousal and desire to service multiple Tops at once, or in series over an extended period. Most importantly, sexual arousal is a state of mind that depends on psychological factors. First, you have to actually want it (not just tell yourself you want it) and then you have to put yourself in the groove. It can help to visualize yourself in situations and think about what the men using you will be thinking about you. Do this whenever there’s a lull in the action, or whenever you’re waiting for a Top to arrive. Tell yourself what’s about to happen to you, and that you can’t stop it from happening. In the musical The Music Man, Proffesor Harold Hill tells the band to “use the Think System”. That’s the key to staying aroused. Use the think system. Porn can help with visualization. Make sure you select video with bottoms in situations that excite you and resonate with your own experience. I don’t watch a lot of porn, but I do get very stimulated by certain compilations of footage if bottoms taking cock in the ass, that has text pop up in addition to the audio, reading things like “Take it”, “You’re just a cunt now”, “Serve Him”, “Degrading your slit” and “It’s over for you now”. That’s just my flavor - you can find what fits you. Masturbation, of course, BUT - don’t cum. That’s going to drain your desire. It’s a neurochemical fact, and you need to avoid ejaculatory orgasm for the duration of the period you want to take cock if you want to maintain arousal. You may be able to give yourself a slight insurance policy against accidentally going over the edge by the judicious use of poppers, which have the effect, in most but not all men, if causing the cock to go soft and making it harder to reach penile orgasm. Since you’re recovering into sobriety from a period of chems use this may not be prudent for you, but poppers are not themselves habit-forming. Only consider them if you believe you will be able to employ them strategically, in moderation. I don’t know how often you’ve actually been the subject of a gangbang breeding, chemmed up or otherwise. Your question seems strange to me in that, as someone who is used to serial breeding, I really don’t see how one can engage in it if arousal is an issue. There’s never a point at which I’m not at least a little ready to take a cock. Even if it’s the furthest thing from my mind, the mere suggestion if it instantly sets me up. But then, I was conditioned to respond this way, so I may not be the standard.

This isn’t just about regular bottoms wanting another regular bottom to flip so they can get fucked. It’s specifically about chasers wanting a poz bottom to Top to seroconvert them, which is a) insane, fetish and fantasy notwithstanding, and b) utterly self-absorbed. They are approaching you as though you were a vending machine, not a human being. Shame you? Nonsense. They shame themselves by even speaking to you in such terms. You need give them no consideration; they have given you none and deserve none. While I often agree with @BootmanLA’s views, I take issue with his advice to you here regarding whether you ought to Top sometimes in order to ensure that you have sexual access in later life. I, too, am in my mid-50s, and I don’t subscribe to such a transactional notion that there is somehow some obligation to contribute to the Topping pool in order to qualify for action. This isn’t a club where all members must pay the same dues to participate. It isn’t a club at all, though it has social aspects. Neither is it truly a sport, though many if not most consider it recreational (and athletic). Sexual outlet is a baseline human biological need recognized in Maslow’s hierarchy, and once you peel away all the details and options, it’s all about satisfying a very primal need unique to each individual. If Topping doesn’t scratch that itch for you, then don’t do it. I don’t. To thine own self be true. Besides, a bottom who doesn’t like Topping isn’t a Top if you make him fuck a bottom - he’s still a bottom doing a Top’s job and not enjoying it, which is a recipe for a lousy fuck. My gratification in serving Tops comes from knowing that they are taking such great pleasure in the way they use me. I wouldn’t want to service a bottom who took no delight in penetrating me. I don’t service bottoms at all. Yes, opportunities for sexual access diminish as we start to wrinkle up. The fresher fruit gets taken from the stand first - that’s the way if things. If I’m a slightly wrinkled apple, trying to turn myself into a banana isn’t going to make me any more appetizing - it’ll just be an overripe banana gone soft and spotty. You’ve still got plenty of shelf life left on you. Just be an apple if you’re an apple, and tell those chaser nutjobs to fuck off.

On the contrary, whereas a facial may be wiped off as though it had not occurred, a bred load must necessarily be at least minimally absorbed by the body, and thus become a physical part of the fucked man. A fusion occurs; whether by absorption of the Top’s water and semen chemistry by the bowel, or if swallowed, by the digestion and full integration of the Top’s proteins. The Top, by force of his ejaculation, adds himself to the sum of the bottom. The load is never lost. I’m also not sure I accept the equivalency you draw between ejaculation and the act of spitting, pissing or slapping. Among bottoms, at least, there is a near-universal acknowledgment that semen is a valuable substance. Some may value piss, but I doubt many would give it the same reverence as cum. Even for those to whom piss is gold, semen is platinum. If men could routinely ejaculate multiple times in short order, facials might make more sense to bottoms, but given the fact that a single orgasm may end a Top’s potential for that encounter, we necessarily have to have a sense of preference. I place a negative value on piss, so in my case you are correct, pissing in my face would express domination and contempt, as would slapping and spitting. A facial, however, would not - you would have showered my face with something highly desirable, and more likely than not, I will be expected to consume it orally. I may be disappointed that you did not choose to give yourself the enhanced pleasure of a more natural internal release, and confused why you would make that choice, but not particularly humiliated by it. One has the sense that the perception that facials are humiliating is more commonly seen from the Top point of view than from the bottom, and indeed, the responses to this thread seem to reflect that. And while it does seem possible to express contempt for a sub using a facial with the sentiment, “You’re not even worth inseminating”, it seems counterproductive for the Top to have fucked the bottom but then deny himself the augmented pleasure that comes with internal release. It also tends to suggest that the Top places a lesser value on his own seed, which for most bottoms is more inexplicable than demeaning. I suspect that Tops who derive greater pleasure from demonstrations of dominance using facials than they do from freely releasing their load deep into a warm body are a distinct minority. To my mind, the most frontal assault (or most direct anterior assault) on the dignity of the victim is interior ejaculation. Ejaculation is by definition a forceful and violent act - when performed in such a way that it penetrates to the vulnerable interior of the target, even the most benign interpretation of it must acknowledge that its power has overcome all resistance and is therefore, for that moment, the master of the subdued. If you simply splash your seed into the face of a sub, you do not achieve that. If doing so gives you a personal sense of degrading your target, however, I do not discourage you - I would look on it as a fetish like any other fetish. Just be aware that it may not always have the effect you imagine on the mind of the receiver. The eyes will tell - they may reflect humiliation, but they may reflect defiance, or simply disappointment. If you breed his ass, however, it doesn’t matter what his eyes say - you made yourself a part of him now, and he can never change that.

That’s tricky. My backstory is very similar to yours, and when I finally took my first step into the same-sex world at 37, I felt a strong need to make up for lost time. Like you, I submitted to men who desired degrading sex acts because I felt I had to get experience from those willing to give it to someone like me. The difference between our experiences, however, is that I have had only two usernames the entire time, and only changed after a major shift from being an owned submissive to being unowned. I have maintained the integrity of my identity regardless of who was using me, or how - there are now hundreds of men out there who could see my profile on an app, point it out to their buddy, and say, “I had him.” And they could have me again any time they choose just by contacting me, because they know I’m reliable and they know I deliver. I do what I say I will do. You tell us that you have cycled through so many usernames that no one would recognize who you are now. (I assume all the changes were from trying to find names that would appeal to a specific practice or fetish, or on a particular app, to maximize your chances of getting fucked.) You also tell us that you ghosted several men you had developed contacts with - that implies that you did so intentionally for whatever reason you had at the time. The effect of all this is that you have no positive reputation to draw upon. Based on your account, it’s also possible that you could have some negative reputation to contend with. You do face a problem in reconnecting with these men you speak of in that if you go in with “Hi, remember me?” If they do remember, they may remember you as the jerk who ghosted them - not the best footing on which to resume. You could approach them as though you assumed they had forgotten about you - which, candidly, is entirely likely - and then if they recognize you later on, simply say, “You know, I thought you seemed familiar.” Where it goes from that point is a matter of finesse. The broader question that comes to my mind in reading your question, however, is to what degree you’re still the same desperately hungry/needy bottom that you describe yourself as having been. You say you’re more stable now, but what you described didn’t sound stable at all. Being more stable than that can still leave a lot of room for instability. I mention this only because it bears directly on the answer to your question: Should you try to reconnect with these men whom you ghosted. We have to ask, what is the chance, having successfully hooked up again, that you might re-ghost them? You describe your ‘downward spiral’ in the past tense, but it’s unclear how recent that past is, or in what way you’re now no longer the kind of man willing to do anything for cock. If you feel that you’ve hit some watershed that’s ‘brought you to your senses’, or simply reached a point of saturation in which you feel you no longer have to pursue sex that abjectly, then I would understand you feeling more stable, and would suggest that contacting men you had had positive experience with is not out of the question, though you might have to do some explaining, and you should be prepared for rejection on the basis of the past. If your sense of stability is more like a feeling of just becoming more accustomed to and comfortable in the kind of lifestyle you had been leading, then I would discourage you from contacting them. If you just want to tap them for sex again and there’s a chance you’ll re-ghost them later, leave them alone. If you’re uncertain what to do, ask yourself: Did you choose InsatiableSub as an identity, or a nametag? Will it still be the name you use in six months?

I’m 6’0”. It hadn’t occurred to me to think in these terms since my height is sort of mid-range, and since I don’t turn anyone down for any reason including height. But now that you mention it, I do tend to get a special feeling when a Big Man walks through my door. Not even necessarily in height, but size difference in overall (proportional) mass does sexualize me. Actually, I think it does so because the difference makes me think more of how he will use me as a body than as an individual - use me as a sexual object. The difference in proportion will tend to draw attention to the physical. As I think about it, this would be true if the man is significantly smaller than me, too. I’ve had a few younger guys in their 20s who haven’t “filled out” yet, who have used me rather experimentally, though that may simply be written off to lack of experience. I have never understood a hesitance to engage with short men - my experience has been that the same amount of masculine energy is simply condensed into a more compact package, and what’s more, the lack of height often (though not always) seems to generate a desire to demonstrate masculinity and aggression. Some of the most energetic, unremitting, brutal cuntings I’ve had have come from short men. But really, height differences become irrelevant in the end, because he and I both know that I’m about to be horizontal and he’s always going to be on Top.

I confess I’ve never understood the appeal of facials as an expression of Dominance. To me, the gold standard of Dominance is penetration, and the ultimate expression of that is the deepest possible deposit of the Dominant’s essence into the submissive where it can then never be completely removed. A facial evokes to me a sense something like the result of Red Leader’s ill-fated attack run on the Death Star: “Negative - negative. It didn’t go in. It just impacted on the surface...” (It’s worth noting that Red Leader may not have been that much of a Dominant and may have indeed been vers - his final warning is his experience that “They came from behind”.) Real Men, by the same example, clearly deposit their missiles into the hole to accomplish the result. Observe Luke Skywalker’s body movement and facial expression as he releases his (pay)load into the hole and in the moments afterward - he is obviously having the intense orgasm of a conquering Dominant. For an even better example, take BBC (big black Calrissian) Lando - he pilots his whole damn ship into the vulnerable hole of the Death Star II and makes damn sure he shoots what he’s got straight at the very deepest spot before he pulls out again. That’s Domination. And if you didn’t notice, the Death Star II had a cunt that was just begging to be Dominated - it had a rosebud. Look at it.

I just have to say - what a difference a load makes! I was about to call it another lost COVID day when I get a little bleep from Kik, with a note from the young blond guy who lives local that he wants some ass. He had actually messaged me an hour and a half earlier and I had missed it, but just by hopeful chance I had cleaned out earlier in the day, so I was could take him quickly. He’s hefty, and his cock isn’t big, but he makes up for it with enthusiasm and a special kind of warmth that I can just feel radiating off his cock every time he enters me - he really wants this. He doesn’t last all that long either, but the way his groan gets pulled from somewhere deep, deep down inside him when he cums tells me without looking that his eyes are rolled back in his head and he feels for that moment as though his flesh is melted into mine. For me, that moment is doubly delicious because not only do I share the intensity of his orgasm and the heat of his body actually being inside me, but the moment he shoots his cum into me, I’m hit with the chemicals in it that affect me like a drug - I feel instantly warm and whole and right, and utterly convinced that my purpose is to be his cunt. It’ll wear off in a while - that’s what happens, and I know I’ll be left feeling empty and strung out and desperate for another cock to come rut my warm hole. I know that in time I’ll just need more and more to get the same feeling, and that in time I’ll end up either accept that I’ll never be able to get enough, or I’ll keep trying until I’m completely debased and willing to do anything at all for cock. There’s not too much I wouldn’t do already, but I’m nowhere near the bottom either. Because I can still feel the difference that one load makes, and right now, I’m glowing.

Me, I usually like the fuck to go on and on and on for as long as the Top is enjoying himself, because for me as a bottom the reward is knowing that I’m the source of his pleasure. Most often, I don’t try to speed up his orgasm, because that would cut short the pleasure he would get in fucking me. But I do know how to do it. It’s a skill you have to pick up with time and practice, I’m afraid - and the application is different for each individual, so you really have to be tuned in to the Top rutting you, his rhythms, his sounds, his energy, his cues, figure out what’s driving his urge to be inside you. When you’re attuned to all that, you know when to make just a slight whimper or growl at the right moment, or get a sense of how and when to use your inner muscles to lightly snatch at his cockhead on the outstroke - not too hard - and then go totally loose on the instroke, or vice-versa. Sometimes I get a sense that a Top is getting to the point where he’d like to cum but isn’t quite getting there, and I step in with the barest little trick or two - it doesn’t take much - and then suddenly he goes, “Oh, shit! I’m gonna fucking cum in you!” like he’s surprised, and BAM! He’s over the moon. I always smile a little when that happens. But I never do it unless I get a strong sense that he’s ready, for two reasons: First, if you try to push a Top’s performance, you stand a significant risk of throwing him off his rhythm, killing his mood, or worst, spoiling his orgasm. This is especially true if your technique us clumsy. There are other threads on here where Tops complain about pushy bottoms who ruin a fuck by changing position or just not knowing when to be still and just fucking take the cock. Second, because it’s the wrong way to go about sex. Sex works when two people are working to satisfy each other’s needs, but if I decide when and where * I * want the Top to cum, I’ve completely stopped thinking about his needs and focused entirely on my own. Instead of worrying about tricks to make a man cum in you whether he wants to or not, maybe think about ways you can make the experience of fucking your ass an excellent, luxurious one that once they start, they don’t want to stop. Men cum inside me (so they keep telling me) because they feel incredibly good inside me. Be that kind of ass, and they’ll shoot you full.

I would add just one element to your consideration. Even if you do manage to wrangle a situation where you’re financially stable enough to take the time for a Year Of Debauchery, and know that you’ll come out the other end if it still with enough means to slide back into normal life, that whole plan assumes that the year in question is all one smooth ride. Except: Actions have Consequences. What you’re contemplating is a year full of risk, at the end of which, in spite of caution, you could find yourself facing a future you hadn’t planned on - a future with HIV, for instance, which would reshape your future in ways you can’t imagine. Or, if you party, a drug addiction that you could end up fighting for decades. Not trying to discourage you at all, just suggesting that there is more to the decision than the way your question puts it. Reality is in the details, and that’s where it bites you. Fantasy seldom pays attention to details, and that’s how you tell the difference.

I’m down to servicing one Top who asks for my ass every two weeks or so (luckily, he does an excellent job fucking me). There have been a couple of other new Tops inquiring recently, but neither has made a move so far, and frankly it doesn’t surprise me - the COVID infection rates are going through the roof here. My county just rated fourth in the state for per-capita infections per 100,000 residents, and so far 1 in every 18 people in this county has or has had the virus. We’re a rural-as-hay county about as equidistant from civilization as you can get, and our rate of infection is double that of Louisville, which means I am basically in greater danger going to the grocery here than I would be whoring my ass in a Louisville hotel. What makes that especially suckalicious is that in order to quell my inner fires the last few months I’ve had to resort to various forms of self-pleasuring that I used to do but had abandoned in recent years when I realized and embraced my natural sexual role as a service cumdump. The problem is, none of those penis-focused methods is at all fulfilling anymore. Those orgasms just leave me feeling more hollow than before. Dildo-riding isn’t much better - there’s no substitute for real cock and real cum. There just isn’t. There are times I wish I has never been taken down the path that made me what I am, because I can’t go back and be something else now. My body knows the truth, and isn’t going to let me fool myself into thinking that I will ever again be sexually complete without a man’s cock in my cunt. Being forced to do without that does nothing but prove the point more every day.

Well, that’s the thing. Slutting one’s cunt to anonymous cock is, by most measures, a down-market, seedy, sketchy thing to be doing. We are entering into an arena where men release control of their passions, some of which are dark. There is always risk inherent in this kind of activity, because men, being men, are powerful and dangerous creatures, and there simply is no way to deal with primal lust in a family-friendly zone. Expecting a hotel to cater to both is unrealistic. I think there are property owners who understand human nature very well and realize that their motels fill a need in society such that they will always be in business - and they realize that that business need not concern itself overmuch with the high quality of furnishings. Neither should we. I don’t expect four-star bedding on the two-star bed I’m getting fucked on; I’m certainly not going to be sleeping on it. In return for the poor exchange for my dollar, I instead enjoy the privacy of the hotelier’s turned eye. And that’s why it has to be sketchy/seedy - because I can’t have it both ways. I can’t expect the hotelier to turn his blind eye to my fucking and simultaneously keep his eye open to make sure I don’t attract someone dangerous. I can’t expect him to be vigilant about keeping his property safe from the ills of other forms of vice that might take place in his rooms if he allows me my vices in mine. So really, there’s no point in even bemoaning whether a motel clamps down - they’re either going to let it go on or they’re not, and we simply have to do our business with the ones that do. But the idea of feeling safe while taking cock from strangers in a hotel - you’re never safe. It’s not a safe thing to do. Expecting to be able to find a hotel that will allow you to do it safely is nonsense. Except, of course, if you pick one that won’t let the Tops get anywhere near your room; then you’ll be safe.

I only take rooms at motels where the room door is accessible directly from the outside, and does not require passing through a lobby or by a desk. Were I to be presented at check-in with the kind of restrictions you describe, I would politely decline my reservation and take my business elsewhere.

You’re being too charitable. I’m in one of those godforsaken smaller towns and it’s not that the locals are making assumptions about what’s in a profile because they’re making compromises - they’re just not bothering to read them. There’s not enough meat on the hoof for profile-sifting to be a productive strategy; instead, they just cast their net wide and hope to snag something (anything). At best, posting specifics of what you’re into or what you won’t do may deter someone, but don’t expect it to attract anyone in these circumstances. It’s a wasteland out here. God knows I speak from experience, and like @Fuzzypup, if I expect any serious play, it’s going to have to be at the end of an hour+ drive to the nearest metro area, at the cost of a hotel room.

@LateBloomer68 - I was owned by a BDSM Master, and while there was not a contract per se, what he did have was a formal Deed granting him ownership of my body for his use as he deemed fit. Naturally, chattel slavery is abolished under our system of laws and that document would not have survived challenge in a court of law. But it would never have needed to. I surrendered that Deed to him of my own free will, in full awareness of what it meant, and of what use he might make of it (and did). The nature of the BDSM relationship was one of personal commitment on the part of both parties to treat the arrangement as though it were bona fide and real in every respect - and that includes all the responsibilities that attach to it. This is important. Committing yourself to an owned state doesn’t simply make you a convenience to your owner. It also places a Duty of Care upon your owner to ensure that basic human needs are met. You may, for instance, become a sexual outlet fir him, but because your own sexual options are now limited by him, he may not entirely neglect your sexual needs, any more than he could chain you up and starve you to death. In my case, ultimately my owner opted to release me rather than continue to maintain me under his Duty of Care. He had satisfied himself in his use of me, but continuing to own me would not have continued to produce rewards worth the expenditure of time and effort required to maintain the needs of an owned human being. I was sorry to be released, but at the same time I has begun to suffer from some neglect as his interests had shifted and his use of me diminished. As you decide whether to pursue this, make sure that the Dominant is equally committed to and invested in being an active owner. You will be surrendering much, but you must also gain by this; it must still be an equivalent exchange, or it will not work. It might be worth doing it with a probationary period before the agreement it locked in. Let us know how things develop.

Piggy is relative. Microorganisms are all around us, on practically every surface, and in teeming hordes inside our bodies. That’s the reality. Keeping the ones we don’t want inside our bodies out is the trick, and that lies at the root of the too-piggy question, whether simply at the squick level or at the level of practical application. Licking cum off the floor if your bathroom at home is different from licking cum off the floor of a public restroom. At home, the inbound traffic of potential pathogen is limited to yourself and people you know, and the sterility of that floor is subject to your own determination with housekeeping. At the public restroom, microorganisms could come in from myriad vectors of bodily fluids, soles of shoes tracked over any number of foul terrains, and all of that accumulated over hours or days between lackluster cleanings (if any). Licking cum that has been in your own anus only puts you at risk of transferring any undesirable microorganism you already have in your body from its localized position in your rectum to your mouth. But if you lick cum that has been in someone else’s ass, you run the risk of contracting particularly undesirable infections that are not necessarily STDs. But this is true for any anilingual activity, and is the main reason why I, with a compromised immune system, do not rim. All of the above is admittedly a pretty clinical answer to a question that you may have asked only from a philosophical perspective. From that perspective, it would be a little piggier than something I would do. Now, if the glob of cum were on the wall...

^ This is poetry. Excellent.

I’m trying to imagine a Top just lying there and telling me to fuck him to orgasm with my ass, with me doing all the actual movement. That’s never happened to me before. My sense of what makes a Man a Top is his desire to act to get what he wants. “Passive Topping” sounds like “inverse bottoming” to me.

I didn’t even take my first cock until I was 37. I’ve been trying to make up for lost time ever since, and I think I’ve probably caught up with what would have been an average sex life started in the 20s. (Not necessarily a sex life started in my 20s, mind you - if I’d found cock then, God knows how many thousand men would have fucked me by now...) I feared that my clock was ticking, and that when the big Five-Oh ticked over, that would be it - Sex Death. I’ll be 54 next month. When I was 52 I was fucked 182 times. When I was 53 I was fucked 146 times. This year, obviously, has sucked, but what little cunting I have had has been hands-down some of the most superior fucksmithing I have ever experienced. As said above, the key is to be open to opportunity. Men are everywhere, and their need for release is a bottomless well. There is so much more to sex than what is visual - don’t let the visual limit you.

The site doesn’t make me hornier, but I can’t deny that finding the site and realizing that there are other men who serve, and are used by, men the same way I am cemented in my mind place as a service cumdump. I had been trained for this, but time spent here, and discussion with others, has made it feel so natural that I embrace it now. I get pretty tired of all the fantasy bullshit, but reading posts here is like panning for gold - sometimes a man is just honest about what he thinks and feels about sex, and that’s refreshing. Especially when Tops give insight into what really goes on inside their minds - I can’t get enough of that. When I joined, I never dreamed I would one day be approaching 2,000 posts - I never dreamed I had so much to say about fucking. Yet just sitting here typing it out, or reading, seldom gets me hot’n’bothered. That happens in real life, when any Top sends any kind of signal. Then I’m ready.

For your purposes as you have explained them, ‘softcore fetish’ is probably as good a term as any, unless you wanted to use ‘softcore kink’, which would to my mind imply more a sense of play and less a sense of psychology. Either/or. As I said above, I certainly don’t have an answer to how one bridges the conceptual gap - we’re dealing with two overlapping, yet in some ways quite separate communities, between which understanding is remarkably poor and assumptions remarkably high. My immersion in the BDSM lifestyle (and yes, @Tallallman, it does have many genuine adherents) shaped me and supplied my training, but by my service nature I have always straddled both it and the Vanilla world. Between the two, approaches and attitudes to fetish/kink can be starkly different, and even the definition of ‘softcore’ may not be well understood - to some, ‘softcore’ may simply be anything that doesn’t actually draw blood. (I have subbed for such men.) To others more accustomed to the Vanilla side of things, ‘hardcore’ may be anything that causes actual discomfort. It’s interesting that you and others here adopt the ‘workplace standard’ as a measure of what will pass muster in terms of mainstream content. This is not unlike the general standard for obscenity, in which ‘the average person, applying contemporary community standards’ finds sexually explicit material ‘patently offensive’. Note the wildly subjective nature of that entire ‘standard’. Trying to avoid squicking people out on such a basis seems necessarily to gravitate to the most conservative understanding of the average person’s mindset, to the disadvantage of those outside the mainstream. But in the end, I suppose you’re trying to cordon off an area safe for that very sort of mindset, so I guess perhaps it does end up working for the purpose. I don’t envy you the task of having to make sure the content produced by men who run the spectrum of sexual predelection lands in places where it will a) find a sympathetic audience and b) not draw the attention of regulators. Even if it weren’t prohibited, no responsible BDSM practitioner scenes under the influence of substances. I have participated in, and been the subject of, dozens and dozens of scenes, private and public, and the use of substances was out of the question every time. They have no place in serious scening because of the danger involved. If the men you are doing BDSM practices with are doing so with chems, I would urge you to weigh the risks of continuing that association.