ErosWired

In my view, this short-sighted strategy will doom them. These cruising apps may be a profit platform for their owners, but it's a service industry. The apps only work if they meet a need and do it in an efficient, intuitive, and user-friendly way. Monetizing a service isn't a sin in a profit model, but mistaking your client base for cattle is a fatal mistake (even if they're pigs). A website - especially a website based on social connection - requires a critical mass of user base to succeed. By this critical mass, I mean a steady, reliable base of individual human users who use the site and its features on a regular and repeated basis for their intended purpose because the site meets their individual need. As that need is satisfied, customer loyalty is built, and trust is created. A solid base allows a limited site to risk expansion, and the addition of premium features that enhance the user experience. Many of those stakeholders in the user base, now convinced of the proven effectiveness of the platform, become willing to put their money where their junk is and pay for more and better tools to up their game. This doesn't limit or reduce the non-payers' ability to meet their own needs - they still have the same reason to stay loyal to the platform - it just gives the payers extra incentive, and the site extra revenue to build things like (among other highly desirable things) robust protections against spammers, scammers and bots. Sites that monetize at the expense of the user base erode this model. Any site that paywalls its users' ability to achieve the most basic purpose for which the site exists automatically begins limiting it chances of achieving critical mass. The bulk of people aren't going to pay for anything they can get for free, and when they can't get it for free, they aren't going to automatically start paying; they begin to choose whether to take it or leave it. Grindr ain't Groceries. Grindr's paywalled features are more apt to fall into the 'leave it' category for most guys, especially for its less-likely-to-be-cash-flush demographic (hell, half of them apparently don't have 'gas money' - but that's another thread). It's not that Grindr doesn't have a large enough user base to remain viable - it obviously does, for now. But at one time, so did Manhunt*. The thing is, there is a difference between a "user base" and the "critical mass" I'm referring to. The "critical mass" doesn't include bots, fakes, or any other entity that isn't a legitimate, interested and engaged user of the service. If at any point the number of legitimate users falls below a point at which there are enough for them to achieve meaningful connections, it doesn't matter how many other "users" are logged in as present - the site will not reach critical mass. Once a social site begins a negative membership trend because it is no longer considered a social asset, economics can do little to save it. More directly, if a hookup site starts making it harder, rather than easier, to get laid, it's doomed. If it tries to make you pay up for the privilege of fapping when you want to be fucking, it's doomed quicker. And if it blatantly opens the door for hucksters and swindlers to try to scam you on the basis of your sexual need, sooner or later it's going to be keeping Manhunt company on the list of apps that had it, and lost it, all. * Whenever I think of Manhunt, I heave a little wistful sigh, because it was my first app and I not only had so much fucking from it, but I encountered the first Top who essentially showed me what it was like to be treated as a sexual object and enjoyed whoring me around, even though I didn't realize at the time that that's what he was doing. God, I miss playing with him. He had an effortless, sexy way of making a man feel like a delicious piece of raw meat. RIP, Manhunt.

[Readers: Apologies in advance for length - this post turned into an essay before I realized it, but I found I had a lot to say] In light of recent experience, I wanted to add to this thread, especially as @rawTOP started this requesting info for development as competition for BBRTS. As a platform concept, I found BBRTS probably the most workable of the apps for me. Its format enabled and encouraged an extended profile and flexibility in user images, ease of keeping track of positive contacts (buddies, notes), ease of managing communication (robust message system and the ability to save a set of canned messages, not just phrases) - and many of these features weren't even paywalled. The extras that you received for subscribing were actually value for money. On top of this, the QuickConnect feature was gold for a cumdump to announce his service. I had quite good results from BBRTS, and assembled a number of regulars who would visit me on the basis of my presence there. That's the way it used to be. Now, unfortunately, BBRTS has begun word-filtering to the extent that even longstanding usernames (like mine) are summarily banned, accounts shuttered, privileges revoked, QuickConnect ads bounced. Worse, any complaint results in treatment that ranges from rude to draconian from the site owners and support, regardless of whether the member is a six-month subscriber or riding for free. Reports of abysmal customer treatment continue to surface. It's not the failure of fellow barebackers to play that has caused me to largely abandon BBRTS as a platform (though there have been some prizewinning prcks on there, and not in the good way) - it is the failure of site management to keep faith with its customer base. Any enterprise of this nature, failing that, will suffer the same inevitable decline, in my estimation, for neglecting a basic principle of business. Likewise, I think any attempt to run a BBRTS-typs site in the paywall-heavy mode of sites like Grindr where all but the most basic features are paywalled is doomed to flakery. Though my experience with website development is more on the technical than the economic side, my impression is that enduring success relies on a grass-roots (read: non-paying) user base reachng a certain critical mass, and if you want men to invest more in of their identity in a site than a faceless profile, you have to give them the ability to stake a little claim to the place and make it their own. Then, as they want more, and better privileges, subscriptions become effective and worthwhile to the user. But I'll be the first to admit that I think poorly in terms of monetizing for profit - my entire career was spent in government and nonprofit public service - and somebody has to pay the electric blll to keep the servers running. There's no question that site owners and developers are under pressure right now - the imposition of FOSTA/SESTA poses a significant challenge to site owners like @rawTOP trying to provide open spaces like this and a future potential BBRTS contender. Were it not for the risk of legal jeopardy, it's probable that BBRTS wouldn't be trawling its site with word filters to net perfectly good English words like 'Wired' for banishment. Were there reasonable indemnity protections for internet platform providers, there might be no need for constructions like 'a$$', 🍑, or '👀 4🍆'. (Who knew eggplant was that popular?) Because of it, it's almost become necessary to invent a new kind of doublespeak to post an ad on DoubleList. But then, if weren't for FOSTA/SESTA, we'd still have Craigslist. There's an app based specifically on GPS locating so you can find guys in real time for hookups, but the profile guidelines stipulate: "No sexually explicit, revealing, or overly suggestive photos of any kind. No nudity or physically revealing clothing of any kind. No skin showing below the hipbones. No exposed undergarments of any kind visible in the photo. No sexually explicit or overly suggestive text. No profanity or curse words, including abbreviations, masking or fill-ins." The app is called "Cruising". Yes - "Cruising". Your profile can only be something a kindergarten teacher could wear on a t-shirt to school, and yet they expect you to use it for "Cruising". More and more sites are narrowing their requirements to the point that only a clothed shot or a face pic will do, presumably because site owners are under pressure from outside entities, ranging from civil authorities to credit card processing banks with ties to conservative political groups, to rein in the smut or face consequences. I find it notoriously difficult to write an effective ad for DoubleList that won't be rejected out of hand. Until legislative relief comes - and we must actively work toward that end - we have to realize that developers like @rawTOP are going to have their hands somewhat tied, or at least are going to have to become shrewdly creative, and will need our cooperation and forbearance. We as site users must accept that some restrictions, which seem like censorship (and are, as imposed from the outside) are unavoidable for the time being to prevent forces that would shutter our sites from doing so through direct legal assault and indirectly through bankruptcy. We have to adapt, as we have always done under siege from the 'moral' opposition, by developing new codes to communicate under the radar of official scrutiny, and work around the limitations placed on our apps. But not to the extent that we tolerate behavior such as that now emerging from BBRTS. Site owners and developers, for their part, must be acutely aware (as I'm sure most are) of the balance that has to be struck between prudence and capitulation. Turning site users who are using a site into instant violators without notice or recourse due to a change in censorship rules is unacceptable practice for any manager attempting to operate a website intended to facilitate open communication. It could be argued that any throttle on a vector of communication runs directly counter to the core mission of a site dedicated fro free and open communication, and it is incumbent on any site owner, developer or manager to realize the need for balance. I'm sure most do. Decisions and policies cannot be made, much less applied, capriciously or unevenly. If they are, the membership will rebel, members will begin to abandon the site, and if enough do so, the critical user mass required to make a site viable will be lost. Customer relations 101. Given that users are having to take unusual/clever/devious methods of getting their message across and making their profiles racy enough to be at all useful, management of a successful site, in my opinion, cannot be looking for any opportunity to crack down. Rather, site developers should be working with users to create novel ways to meet mutual needs while keeping the site safe and functional until minds, and laws, change for the better. Personally, I very much hope that @rawTOP does ultimately offer an alternative to BBRTS. His management of this site suggests to me that he understands what it takes to make a hookup site like that successful, has an intimate grasp of the pressures and complexities on the technical and economic side of this arena, and understands the needs of barebackers like us about as well as any man alive. If he does, I'll be among his first subscribers. Besides, at the speed BBRTS is going downhll, we're going to need a replacement...

I'd say it's more likely your neighbors are wondering what you're ordering that takes half an hour to deliver. Whatever it is, could you please tell us? I would like to place an order too, in bulk.

I took two loads this evening at home, the first from a regular and the second from someone new. The first guy hit me up from work via Grindr and was really excited when I told him he could stop by any time. I don’t know why - he always gets to fuck me, and I keep telling him he doesn’t even actually need to ask, he just needs to tell me when it’s time to take cock and then I take it, Why is the concept of being entitled to ass so difficult for Tops to accept? Anyway, it had been a little while since my last fuck, and I had begun feeling a need to be bred. I poppered up for him, maybe a little intensely, because by the time he walked through the door and ran a fingertip across my cunt, I was nearly out if my mind in heat. I could feel every part of my ass and taint as though they were excruciatingly sensitive, warm, and juicy. And when he penetrated me, his cock felt like something molten had been thrust within me, five degrees hitter than my body, and I shivered all over with the sheer overwhelming intensity of it. Unfortunately, he’s a quick cummer and it was all over in about 60 seconds. So, now hungrier than ever for cock, I made a desperation move and headed out to the truck stop. Although I didn’t actually end up taking a load there before I got called back to take a second load at my house, I did end up stirring more interest than I expected, more even than at the ABS nearby. I’m just beginning to realize that I could actually become a “lot lizard” simply because there aren’t any better alternative ways around here to take cock. If I do that, I feel as though I take an irreversible step that brands me as a cheap whore in the eyes of a majority. But then, for all I know, the majority of you think of me that way anyhow. Now I just have to decide if that’s a good thing. I can say that it feels like a good thing that I’m going to sleep tonight with two other men’s semen deep inside me...

The way you say it here, and personally to me, I do believe you mean it. I think you, Faggotuser, probably do see me as a disposable sexual object because I have allowed men to use my holes to empty their lust, and I believe that you represent a number of other Tops who think, and use other men, as you do. I believe you’re not just posturing, and not just trolling the boards. I read your response just at a time when I was feeling something off about myself that I couldn’t pin down, and when I read l use and degrade faggot trash whores like you and make sure they know that that's what they are I realized what was missing: It has been much, much too long since a dominant, aggressive Top fucked me into submission to remind me, physically and mentally, of what I am. I focus on the Top’s need and desire in every service I perform, but sometimes I forget that I need periodic maintenance too to remain a service cumdump - a kind of tune-up that can only be performed by a man like you. I’m going to have to go out and somehow find a Top willing to fuck me down hard to get back in the right frame of body and mind. One thing though - a cumdump can have self-respect, even if it’s only the knowledge that he never gives any Top less than the best fuck he has to give.

I understand how the potential of having your sexual nature exposed to the world could be exciting when you're in a sexual frame of mind (read: horny). I understand the appeal of fantasies like being coerced into sexual compliance or performance by blackmail or other means. I understand the psychological nature of behavior like exhibitionism and submission. I can even understand getting to the point of desperation for someone to interact with that a man would place himself into a compromised position. What I have never been able to understand, however, is how a man can plan and then carry out a sequence of acts that cannot be reversed and are absolutely certain to have a serious, if not devastating, impact on the non-sexual aspects of his life, to the point of potentially destroying his livelihood and his core relationships. So 'Phil', shall we say, has a stable, steady-income job, nice family, good circle of friends, congenial work relationships, plays ball with the guys on weekends. Volunteers at the polling precinct during elections. He also secretly takes cock up in the city once a month at the bathhouse during his "business trips", and has an aching exposure fetish. Whenever he can, he has guys use his camera to take face shots of him with his cum-splattered face stuffed with cock, or of him gazing backward into the lens while his cunt is being rutted. The pictures are absolutely of hm, and there is no mistaking what he is doing or that he is loving it. Finally, one fateful night, he encounters a man online who says he gets off on exposing other guys, and will be glad to do it if Phil will just provide the pictures and the personal information. With his head throbbing with the sexual high of the thrill of having his naked lust shown to the whole wide world, Phil sends all his real-life personally identifying information and compromising images to this man with the click of a button. >CLICK< There it is. The thrill of terror/shame/pleasure all at once. The deed is done. Phil thinks, They are all going to know, and something delicious and awful runs though him. For many, this is the moment of reward, what it's all about. Except, there is no >unclick< button. Once the hit of fantasy and its adrenaline/endorphine rush has passed, a cold, sick feeling settles in. They are all going to know becomes Oh God -They...are...ALL...going...to...KNOW. Now, it may be that the man on the other end is counting on a sudden onset of post-click panic, and has a PayPal account already in place to accept Phil's repeat transfers of cash to make sure that those photos never end up in front of his boss and his grandmother. Or, it could be that the man on the other end has a fetish just as compelling Phil's was to Phil, and gets off in a big way exposing faggots being faggots. And he's become very good at it, so in short order, Phil finds his private collection of intimate photos prominently labeled with his identifying info posted to various apps, including Facebook and Twitter, and he is sent an email containing the extremely compromising content about himself - and notices that the CC list includes people who really, actually know him, and aren't sexy with him at all. Bob's company informs him that his job is being outsourced. His dad refuses to speak to him. He is told he is no longer welcome to play ball with the guys (faggot). The people he usually works with at the polls cross to the other side of the street when they see him. His wife packs up the kids and they go to stay with her parents, indefinitely. For some reason, his credit score takes a hit. I could go on, but the point is, once you're in-real-life-actually-exposed, you can't be unexposed. You can't unring that bell. If a reputation is devastated in that way, it's not coming back. The only thing left is to either learn how to live in the reality of the aftermath, or to uproot and try to find somewhere to start all over as someone else. I don't have a sense for how common this practice actually is, but apparently there are Phils out there who go through with this. One sees the images from time to time, and buyer's remorse is too real a thing in a general sense for it not to apply in this sense as well. I get that there are some people who genuinely don't give a shit what anybody thinks of them, and enjoy the freedom to expose their true natures at will; yet I don't really place these men in the same class as Phil, because the feeling they get cannot be the same - to them, there is no equivalent risk, so there can be no equivalent reward. What's more, these guys can do it repeatedly... but Phil can only do it once. Once Phil has committed to exposure, and gotten his intense reward, he can't do it again. Done is done. Those people will all know now, and re-exposing yourself isn't exposure. Phil can expose himself to strangers, and maybe get some tickle out of that, but it will never feel the same as the original high, and every subsequent attempt will leave him feeling emptier. Why do these Phils make a choice to self-destruct their lives this way? I can understand the power of sexual fantasy, of desire, of horniness, of all of the whole potent witch's brew of influences that make men obey their animal brain-parts when in rut. But when it comes to doing something potentially self-destructive, the mind usually kicks in a warning signal of some kind to keep a man from fucking himself off a cliff. Why not in this case? I have no answers, but I would love to understand this better. It makes no sense for any man to so something so patently self-destructive and irreversible for the sake of a quick rush... unless, unconsciously, he is using a nuclear option to free himself from an untenable life and force himself to start anew. And if it has come to that, I am sad for him.

Agh - you men are killing me. You’re so close to really revealing what drives Tops, but you all keep stopping just short of the deep reasons. Examples: Great stuff! But why does seeding another man give you deep personal satisfaction? What is it you love about having the control your cock gives you over another man? Good for you! Why does the idea of seeding as many men as you can flip your Top switch? You know how you like it (what’s not to like in that description) but there’s something you get out of using your weight to pin the runt down like a bug and pump him full. Dig deep - what exactly makes you love that moment and what you’re doing to that bottom? I’m asking these questions on behalf of all serious service bottoms like me who succeed or fail in providing an outstanding fuck to our Tops on the basis of how well we can intuit an individual Top’s sexual mindset. If I can sense your sexual appetite, I’m going to serve myself up as your favorite meal - and the more I understand about how Tops think, the more likely I am to get it right. I know, Tops aren’t a different species or anything, but there really are some of us, especially the truly total bottoms, whose minds don’t think the way Tops think, and it really helps to find out.

Erm... are you sure you’ve come to the right place? Compared to some of the other content on BreedingZone, this thread is like going to church.

Why are people off PrEP? Because they haven’t seen any point of taking it during a lockdown, or something like that?

Is this one of those “I’m asking for a friend” situations?...

Harsh. Maybe dial that back a bit. What’s “ruined everything around us” is people who believe they’re entitled to do whatever they like whenever they like wherever they like to whoever they like and be just as nasty about it as they want. It’s legit to point out when the quality of the discourse on a public discussion forum is taking a downward turn. If you don’t hold up some kind of standard you end up with an abomination like 4-Chan. We can talk about our sexy bareback lives openly and freely here without turning the place into a vile cesspool of obscenity. Whether you like it or not, there are limits on what you can talk about on BZ. Some of them have been explicitly laid out by the site owner and moderators. Others arise from a common shared sense of human decency (an admittedly low bar around here) and a finite tolerance for bullshit - and maybe that’s the most important point. It’s not that most of us are squeamish about particular topics, we’re just sick fucking to death of rolling our eyes at having to read through all the obvious bullshit trying to pass itself off as real, lived experience. I won’t tell anyone what he can or can’t talk about, but I’ll damn sure let him know that I’m not interested in hearing any of his bullshit.

Imagine what it’s like to be conditioned to believe - truly believe - that your value lies in frequent sexual contact, and then suddenly find that contact is not available. What does it matter how silky an ass feels inside if no cock can get into it? What’s the good of a cumdump not open for dumping into? What’s the point of me and my skills now? I’ve hosted exactly once since March 13, and it was a low-key evening, only 5 men served. Aside from them, I have been fucked four (!) times in four and a half months. The apps are dispiriting, because I find more men talking hookup right up to the edge and then bailing out. I feel hollow, useless and unneeded. I’m afraid my carefully cultivated group of regulars will forget about me completely and I’ll have to start from scratch making my ass’ reputation all over again. And I can’t endure this indefinitely before I have to weigh risk versus need an go host again. Need is making a very srong argument right now...

I definitely see where you’re coming from with that - I wouldn’t even class that sort of thing in the same category as “paying” for contact because it’s not transactional - you’re simply making it easier for yourself and the people you know to connect. Plus, with guys you know and/or have previous experience (in my case, “know” is a bit of a stretch with most of my regulars... or “acquainted”, “know by name” or even “recognize on sight”) you know you’re not dealing with a scam.

My very first homosexual encounter was with a man who traveled for no other purpose but to meet me in Nashville, Tennessee from - not making this up - the Canadian Yukon Territory. I did not give him any gas money.

Reading this surprised me a little - I guess I hadn’t expected that someone with your depth and range of experience taking cock, and especially with higher than average use by Alphas, would still experience difficulty from time to time. I guess it just underscores how variable anatomy is, the more different pairings a guy makes, the higher the chance of getting a square peg trying to fit a round hole... as it were. I’m really not very good at riding on top (my balance sucks) but I have found this to be a fail-safe method of dealing with cocks of daunting size or shape. Gravity becomes your wingman. The whole apparatus straightens out and loosens up, removing bends and kinks that impede progress, and align the system in a way that eases entry. Your own weight helps ease you down onto a cock. I’m convinced that the complete ease with which the man with 11 legit inches took me balls deep each time was that he always started me out in the saddle.

To all of you guys reading this who drive a car and are experiencing the nationwide shortage of gas money, this is an open plea - FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WILL YOU KNOCK IT OFF WITH THE “I don’t have any gas money” SCAM Do you not realize that every other fucking moron on your app trying to make bank on spank is using the exact same stupid con? Think it through - If you’re out of gas and can’t afford to get any more, how are you going to get to me for me to give you money to buy gas to get to me, and if you could get to me in the first place, why should I give you money just to subsidize your sexual habit? Not shitting you - every single time I spend any time at all on the apps I get, without exception, at least two and often more young fatheads who try to spin me up for a hookup only to tell me at the last that they’re on empty and broke, but if I’ll just give them some gas money they’ll be right over. It’s become such a joke now that any of you still trying to get by with this wheeze are just embarrassing yourselves. If you’re not going to play unless a guy opens his pocket first, at least be up front about it for fuck’s sake and quit pretending you’re not a vendor. Even if you’re trying to make it some kind of code for what it really means, it still just sounds ridiculous. I’m tired of having my intelligence insulted by dumbasses with a shitty business model. Do us all a favor and give it a rest. Because if you try it on me you’re going to waste your time and I’m going to tell you the same thing I tell all the others: I never have to pay for sex, sweetie - for all the men who come to me again and again, my ass is the reward.

I’m not a mod here, but I mod a site elsewhere and the measures taken by the moderating staff on BreedingZone are both reasonable and necessary for a site of this nature with this level of traffic. First of all, a site like this draws men to express aspects of the underbelly of human nature, and some of it can get fairly vile, depending on your point of view. Not every guy who’s comfortable talking about such things is a nice guy, or civil, or even knows how to be, or even gives a shit. If left to express anything they want in any way they want, this place would become an obscene, filth-covered, flame-riddled, hatemongering cesspool In short order. Second, these forums aren’t just a collection of reader porn - they’re also a place for an exchange if information and opinion. Serious, insightful discussion even sometimes occurs(!) when the horndogs take a break to go off into the corner to fap. It’s hard enough to separate the truth from the fiction as it is, and if the mods didn’t keep some tight order on the place it would just become a scrambled mess. But the real reason tight moderation is important here is so that we can still have a place where we can talk about something like fucking other men up the ass bare on the open internet with the kind of freedom we have. There are laws in place like FOSTA/SESTA, and more and worse threats pressing all the time, that have the ability to imprison or bankrupt site owners like RawTOP If certain things are allowed to happen on their sites. They have to bleep out certain words ban topicsso the authorities don’t charge them with allowing the trafficking of human beings, or of under aged persons, even though no such thing may be happening. They have to ensure that fictional stories about certain practices cannot be mistaken for real accounts, because while fantasy may be legal, the reality is not. I’m sorry if you put your foot in it and got a time out - now you know what not to do, right? (Another hint, which is good pretty much anywhere on the Net: Don’t Tell The Mods They’re Being A Dick.) They’re doing what they have to to make sure we have this place. We’re glad you’re here, and looking forward to all the smutty things to have to tell us, so suck it up, Buttercup, and be a good bad boy. 😘

Interesting range of preferences on this thread, and interesting how at least some of us have developed a nuanced vocabulary to refer to that specific anatomy, in much the same way that cultures around the Arctic have developed multiple terms for the nuances of snow. For myself, I generally use cunt to refer to the opening and emphasize its sexual function, and prefer it because the hard consonants suggest impact, pressure, and masculine energy. Hole for me is a more neutral term that suggests a space or void rather that something warm and fleshy and pleasurable. Personally, I find that manhole makes this worse by conjuring an image of something with a heavy metal lid. On the other hand, fuckhole/phukhole softens it and suggests something fleshy. I never use pussy for self-description, as I associate it too closely with femininity, in a way that I don’t associate cunt. Yet If a Top chooses to refer to my pussy, it can be very arousing because it signals that he ia approaching me in a breeding frame of mind and I can expect a deeply penetrative, primal/rutting style of intercourse. Constructions like bussy and mangina leave me cold because they feel contrived and draw attention to themselves as words that seem to be trying a little too hard to make a statement about masculinity. And of course I use ass all the time to refer to my hole, but the fact that it can also refer to the whole area surrounding the hole renders it potentially less useful - a bottom can have an uninspiringly narrow or bony ass, for instance, but still give incredible ass in therms of its internal feel and his skill in using it. Plus, the variance with British arse complicates matters. It’s curious that given the number of terms we use, we so seldom see other established synonyms for vagina used gor male hole, like twat or quim, but perhaps these are so closely associated with females that this is simply a step too far.

“Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.” - Benjamin Franklin Any photograph of you that leaves your direct control has the potential to become compromising information. I’ve used Photoshop professionally for more than 20 years. You could not imagine the ease with which I could take a photo of a man and make it seem as though he were doing something... naughty. With a smile. Fortunately, I’m burdened with scruples. Not everyone us. Sometimes it can be hot to imagine your sexual nature being exposed, but in the wrong context the consequences can be anything but sexy, and potentially life-altering. “Ruin” is a word that comes to mind, because there ate great big chunks of the world that emphatically do NOT see things the way we do here on this open-minded little sex site. For this reason, I would say yes, the suggestion that pictures will be taken at a sex party is more likely to give potential participants a second thought, but it might also give you as a host reason to think twice before exposing your guests to potential exposure. This coming, mind you, from a cumdump who probably gets photoed and videoed getting railed far more than he realizes, so take it for what it’s worth...

It’s not that Tops don’t comment on how ass feels when they fuck it, but for some reason we don’t often get much more than “tight” or “loose”, “wet” or maybe “cummy”, “warm” or “hot”. Which is all fine. It’s just that most of those are to be expected, and don’t really tell us the real story about the Top’s ecstatic (or less so) experience in his rut. There are lots of variations in holes. Some are silky, some more like velvet, some rubbery. Some can feel rough, almost abrasive. Sometimes a bottom’s internal muscle tone is very evident; on the other hand, A bottom can it can feel like the Top is “fucking a cloud” (one of my favorite compliments ever given to me). Regardless, reading from a Top the detail of how an individual bottom’s hole feels to him as he slides his cock through it reveals so much about both men sexually at a depth beyond mere surface level that I wish more Tops would take the time and effort to share just a little more detail...

@HornyLatinoLB - Your question asks: What’s ‘wrong’ with me. That question contains a built-in value judgment. The choice to accept the value it imposes on your life is yours, and yours alone. Only you can decide for yourself whether monogamy is a moral and ethical imperative. Only you can decide what the definition of ‘loyalty’ means in your life and relationships. Only you can decide the nature and quality of the relationships that seem real and true to your heart and sense of self. Most importantly, only you can decide how best to be true to the person you are meant to be. Each of us finds paths in life that call us to explore them, some very strongly, some so strongly that we know that if we don’t heed that call we’ll live with regret. Sometimes there are questions about ourselves that simply demand to be answered. Maybe this is such a path for you, or such a question. Many of us on this site, like myself, have asked ourselves the same kind of question you ask here. Nothing in my life would point to my becoming a man who would surrender his body to frequent, repeated sexual defilement by other men for their base pleasures - no one except perhaps the most perceptive of Tops, the kind who just somehow know, would ever guess that I’m fucked frequently by dozens of men I don’t know, many of whom I never even see. But I am. And in my heart, there’s nothing wrong with me.

Fair enough. And I guess that just serves to underscore the OP’s question, then, because BBRTS is designed as a hookup site rather than a dating site (the RTS stands for ‘Real Time Sex’ after all) rather than a dating site. So if apps like BBRTS have made it ridiculous not to expect to be lied to, how widespread is it (how prevalent has it become)? - OP’s original question; and: How did we allow that to become the norm to the point that expecting the opposite is ridiculous? - mine. An answer to the OP’s question is possible from the combined observations of the group. An answer to mine isn’t really necessary, and the question is just food for thought... the Tops are going to fuck me when they choose whether they’re honest or not, and that’s the truth.

I’m not sure we’re talking about the same populations of men here. Men who are willing to engage in a non-sexual meetup as a precursor to a sexual one are In a very different frame of mind than men looking for a hole to dump a load into or a submissive cunt to wreck because they’re aggressive, dominant and horny. I doubt that you would get as many who would be so careless with lies like being Undetectable on one app and toxic on another if they’re going to sit down and swap notes with another guy over coffee - that’s how the truth comes out. My sense is that the kind of behavior the OP is talking about comes mostly from guys interested in quick, NSA hookups, but I coild be wrong.

Those are some interesting designs. I make my own leather items, plus I love the feel of metal, so I’m inspired. 🙂 Things to say about harnesses: From a design perspective, if you’re going to get one, don’t stint on quality. The forces it will experience in manhandling should not be underestimated, and a shoddily made harness composed of inferior materials simply will not last, especially at the linkage interfaces of used for bondage. Get a harness that would credibly restrain at least a pony. From a fashion perspective, applying principles of visual design, one must be candid - harnesses best complement men whose torsos have greater upper mass than lower mass, and better muscular development. On men with low muscle tone, the hard lines of the harness tend to contrast negatively with the softness and lack of definition in the arms and chest - a harness’ purpose is to restrain and redirect the force of a strong animal; putting one on a weak animal does not make sense from a practical intuitive perspective, and this subconsciously reflects a less flattering image on, say, a skinny twink in a harness. If a man is, shall we say, pear-shaped, the hard lines and structured appearance of the harness above draw a strong contrast with the amorphous mass beneath, and because the eye spends more time trying to define the parameters of an amorphous object than a structured one, it means a harness tends to concentrate more focus on a big, out-of-shape belly. For a man who is just stocky, and for whom the proportion top-to-bottom isn’t that far apart, a harness can draw attention upward. Harnesses also favor good shoulder definition, and vice versa, because they uniquely create a visual frame around that anatomy. For best results, work on the deltoids is recommended. Finally, and admittedly also a matter of personal taste, less is usually more in harnesses. You can get very complex harnesses that crisscross everywhichway, even half shoulder plastrons that make you look like a Roman gladiator. Find a style that emphasizes you, not itself. It should bring your physical assets to the forefront. The other guy isn’t looking to hook up with a harness.

I don’t doubt you’re right about that. But I'm also talking about the rampant way men lie to play games and to flake. When I’m told - three fucking times in a row - “I want to come fuck you right now but I’ve got no gas - if you could give me some gas money I’ll be right there” my intelligence is insulted. The lie isn’t for sex, it’s for money. Now, I guess the reason it persists is that some gullible/desperate/paying-customer men reward it by giving them the “gas money” and in effect reward the lie. Then there’s “I’m on my way” by guys who flake. What the fuck? What the fuck with any of the lies used to avoid hooking up - and they are legion. If they are to be believed, family emergencies are on a level to rival the COVID pandemic. Why the lies just to mess with people? I has a guy on BBRTS who spent hours setting me up for a whoring-out, in detail, only to block me at the last instant. I’ve had another guy take elaborate measures to set me up for fucking Alpha-rough style, just to tell me to “shut up” when I asked him why he hadn’t arrived when planned. Compared to this kind of craziness, lying about whether you’re Undetectable or toxic is just niggling over details (albeit a rather important detail). This mostly bugs me because my autism makes it almost impossible for me to lie - I just sort of automatically tell the truth by default even if honesty isn’t in my best interest, and this same mental process makes me far too trusting. If It makes no sense to me to lie, why would anyone else? So I get taken advantage of a lot. But I’m not stupid. I learn from experience. Once you’ve lied to me, I never forget the lie. And so far I’ve collected a pretty large and nasty catalog of them that paints an ugly picture of men in our subculture. Apologies to the OP if this has strayed a little wide of the topic.