ErosWired

The entire concept of a “mainstream fetish” seems like an oxymoron - fetishes by their nature are not expected to be part of normative sexuality. I think this is best thought of as ‘the most common of the uncommon’. Foot fetishes are not all that rare; only being able to orgasm in the presence of a Ken doll would be. BDSM, while as pointed out above stands for a specific set of fetish types, has as a term among its adherents grown to include a wide array of practices related to power exchange, control, humiliation, submission, and varying degrees of schadenfreude. In that sense, making BDSM one of a list of fetishes for purposes of categorizing post content isn’t all that useful - a great many fetish practices lump into it, and others may fall under it depending on the context. Your rope class was not taught by someone very familiar with the lifestyle. I started out as a bondage submissive. I cannot count the number of times I have been restrained. I was seldom actually fucked in bondage. For those truly practicing it and not just playing around with it, BDSM isn’t foreplay; it’s the main event. I’ve had Dominants use me for hours without taking off any of their own clothes, and not taking any kind of sexual release. For them, the reward was in power and control of me, my body, my orgasm, my humiliation. That, too, is fetish. How (and whether) you make a place to express that kind of story on a website about bareback fucking is something I don’t have an answer for. This isn’t FetLife. BreedingZone serves its niche very well, I think, but at some point stories may simply end up so far removed from the site focus that they simply aren’t topical for the forum. If, for instance, someone decides to treat us to a multi-chapter tale of a young man’s bukakke experience in which 20 hung men cum buckets all over his exposed toes, the foot fetishists among us may cream their shorts, but what does that have to do with barebacking, or even fucking? There’s nothing wrong with the story itself, but does it need to be here? Or wold the poster be better off sending it to a forum with a more sympathetic readership of that kind of material?

Let me preface this by saying that I don’t take it upon myself - ever - to try to bring a Top to an orgasm he doesn’t want. I know I don’t speak for all bottoms, but it’s never about me and what I can “get”. I can’t even really relate to bottoms who approach Tops in a consumptive, predatory way. That said, I find the best way to make sure you bring your Top to climax is to listen to him. I mean “listen” in a broad, general way, not just listening carefully to what he says and the sounds he makes, but also paying close attention to the subtleties of his motions, the change of intensity and angle of his grip, the tempo of his breathing, the little shifts in the timing and tangent if his thrusts. This requires you to shift your central focus off your own pleasure and onto his, but opens up a wealth of cues to his sexual response. When you become attuned to it, you can begin trying subtle techniques to see which ones stimulate him more without accidentally hitting his off switch. Recently I’ve encountered a local Top who may be the most sophisticated fucksmith ever to cunt me (and that’s saying something) and I am revelling in simply “observing” his broad range of technique. Every breeding by him is a Master Class in Taking Cock - if you’re an attentive student. I would never dream of trying to bring him to climax early, even though I have skills of my own, but when he tells me he’s ready, I have absolutely made myself attuned to him and his sexual rhythm at that moment that I can respond to ensure he gets his brass ring. Mmm. Excuse me now. I need to go send someone a message... 🙂

I received today from A4A yet another of those messages from a guy, asking me to unlock my private photos. No message, just “[user] has asked to unlock private photo/video”. Partial face pic of a young man, profile icon features U.S. flags, age listed as 23. Profile filled out, but says he’s new and “looking for communication”. Yeah. Distance: 5,134 miles away. That’s 8,262.37km if you’re metrically inclined, as he almost certainly is. I thought, assuming the app is even anything like accurate at global distances, I wondered, where, then, could he possibly be? Easy enough - get GIS software and create a 5,134-mile-radius circle around my location. Result - he is: a) In the middle of Siberia b) On the extreme northernmost tip of Greenland c) On Urup, one of the disputed Kuril Islands off the northern Japanese coast d) In the Marshall Islands, near Majuro e) In South America, somewhere more or less on a line between Concepción, Chile and Buenos Aires, Argentina f) In west-central Africa in Gabon, Cameroon, Chad or Egypt (Cairo’s closest) g) On the island of Cyprus h) In the middle of Turkey east of Ankara i) In Ukraine near Donetsk j) On the island of Svalbard in the Russian Arctic k) On a ship in the mid-Pacific, south Atlantic, eastern Mediterranean, Black Sea, or the Sea of Azov (Hellooo sailor!) or l) Just east of Moscow. I’m guessing... Russian troll, not the Arctic variety. I have to say, though, that I was surprised how many actual places the ring crossed, especially at sea. Imagine if he had been real and not a scambot - it just goes to show that there is fuck potential everywhere you look...

A company, that is in the business of serving communication data between a wide range of disparate users, faces certain costs related to outside forces that wish to regulate the communications that take place between the users whom are its reason for existing. It is a business, not a charity. Compliance with law is not optional, and although the degree to which activity on a site may infringe on law may be questionable, actual penalty at law is not the greatest risk - the cost of defending against lawsuit is more likely to take down a site than direct governmental action. Therefore, what sites are faced with, and reacting to, is the difficulty of having enough capital to defend against legal assault against their way of doing business. Those costs are therefore a cost of doing business, but rather than trying to find ways to address the issue directly, it appears that some of these companies are instead turning against their own customer base to try to meet technical compliance with the law. Remember, these companies are in the business of facilitating communication between individuals, and specifically, salacious communication between individuals in pursuit of intimate contact. Don't bother sugar-coating it. A chocolate-covered turd still has the same filling. They can lop off perfectly good words from the English language all day until we can't even form sentences, and it still won't change the fact that the message we're sending to each other is "I'm horny and I want to ass-fuck". Or, regrettably, "I want to get high, where can I find some [substance]?" (More on this in a moment.) So essentially, these companies are doing their damnedest to find ways to prevent their userbase - their reason for existing - from communicating the very thing they want to communicate using the words designated for that communication. And as soon as new words are substituted, they'll prevent those, too. Whack. A. Mole. The result? The companies cease to serve the function that they were created to serve. Their customers - their userbase - becomes increasingly disaffected and, finding that the service makes it harder rather than easier to find fuck, abandons it and looks elsewhere. Are the companies doing themselves a service by adopting content censorship policies? You tell me. More and more, apps will not allow profile pics that are not fully clothed and above the waist, with no hint of sexuality. When the apps force us all to wrap ourselves up in brown paper and mutter bland lines to each other, they're done. So simply saying that 'hey, it's the data management/data protection environment, that's what we've got' is only acceptable if you're willing to live with being told what you can say, where and when you can say it, and to whom, by people whose values may be completely different from your own. That's the environment we're faced with, and it must be resisted. Restistance starts at home, by the way, motherfuckers. Last night out of the blue, I got a hit on Growlr. I wasn't even online. Some dude under the handle 'Idontknow' send me the following message: "Get me high" I replied that he must have sent his message to the wrong person because I had nothing to do with any substance that would get him high, and couldn't help him with that. He replied with "Then change your name, you dumb shit. Wired. God, stupid people annoy me. Don't message me back. Go ahead and report me to the app authorities. I dare you." I blocked him. I wasn't going to waste my time explaining that I have been using ErosWired ('wired' meaning 'electronically connected') considerably longer than the drug culture's current exploitation of the word, and that just because he used it to mean something doesn't mean that everybody else on the planet has to suddenly accept his new meaning. Except, I probably fucking do, because men are probably totally misjudging me out there and assuming I'm into drugs just by my username when I'm sober as a judge and always have been. So this fuckery with twisting perfectly good words into smutty pretzels that can't be used in public anymore? Cut that shit out. Don't speak in code; don't speak quietly; speak in VERY LOUD VOICES and SPEAK WITH YOUR VOTE to change the draconian environment that has landed us with FOSTA/SESTA and all the rest of the Thought Police. Check to see how your representatives voted on these things, and if they went the wrong way, vote them out. Until this off-with-their-heads environment is ended, the technology companies are going to be playing defense, likely at the expense of civil liberties, because it may be our voices, but it's their medium and they're not taking the rap for our smack-talking. Don't expect them to save us. But by the same token, if they're going to go out of their way to dick me over, they can't expect any loyalty from me either. I haven't been back to BBRTS in months. They had the audacity to send a note this week to my eros.wired@gmail address saying "We've missed you". Yeah. I'll bet. And you'll keep on missing that subscription that you are never getting again.

I would take a different view. Pain is a very powerful instructor, and mis-applied can have unintended effects. If an aggressive Top takes an uncertain initiate with submissive inclinations, especially one uncertain about his orientation, and inflicts agony, blunt force and bloodletting, the shock may be enough to set the young man's sexual life in an undesirable direction. At best, he may carefully avoid certain types of men and thus fail to realize his potential; at worst, the experience may present an irreconcilable conflict between his instinct to submit and serve and his instinct for self-preservation and self-defense. I would submit that for the Dominant who takes a longer view, a gradual approach is wisest. Although not specifically about cunting, a case in point: Imagine a Dominant presented with a young man of submissive tendencies. The Dominant persuades the young man to submit to being tied spreadeagled so as to learn "how useless a faggot's cock and balls are". The young man expects a little pinching, pulling and twisting. Instead, the Dom proceeds to pass a .18 gauge needle through each of the young man's testicles. Point made. Cunting follows. The young man, not unreasonably, may be expected to react strongly to this - the trauma may set the trajectory of his sexuality for the future in a direction very much away from that which his instincts might have led him, at the cost of future satisfying and healthy experiences, and at the cost of those Tops he would have served. On the other hand. what if the Dominant had instead, by a series of encounters and acts gradually increasing in pain and ever greater humiliation, drawn the young man into a slower realization of his world and his place within it? What if the Dominant leveraged the young man's instinctive pleasure and inner gratification in submitting to a more aggressive man, and by a conscious, calculated effort, conflated that instinct and pleasure with growing pain and deepening degradation until his subject lost the ability to tell the difference between pain and pleasure? What if, in the end, he had so cultivated his subject that the man accepted the skewering of his own testicles without any bondage at all, and felt a thrill of exhilarated accomplishment at being so debased at the hands of a dominant male? He would have not only achieved the definitive demonstration of his power over his subject male, but forced an indelible change in the man, and would have enjoyed a series of aggressions in the process. This hypothetical is, of course, not a hypothetical. It is my lived experience at the hands of my former Master, a Dominant Sadist. Had he attempted to needle my balls on Day One, I would have been NOPE, and I would not be what I am today. I fully understand that not every Alpha male has the patience to take a faggot down to his base elements like this - indeed, I have found very few such men. Most of the aggressive Dominants who have used me have been fairly brutal from the off, and just as you say, I got plenty of hard-knock training in the life of "abundant pain and degradation" that I could expect from Men. They taught me to expect it, to seek it out, to relish it, to excel in taking it. So to that degree, your point is valid. But it's not the approach that truly made me embrace what I am - I define myself by the lessons taught me by the man who took the time to deepen my pain into pleasure and to debase me to the very core of my being.

The disappearance of Saturday morning cartoons has nothing to do with the “gubmint” - they’re just not confined to Saturday mornings anymore. Why shoehorn them all into four hours one day a week when you could get them 24/7/365 on Disney, Netflix, PBSKids, Nick Jr., HBO Max, Apple TV+, etc. Ever hear of the Cartoon Network? And as to the good old-fashioned cartoon violence, I grew up on a diet of coyotes getting crushed by self-inflicted dynamite traps and the likes of Elmer Fudd running around carelessly firing off shotguns - and then I became a dad and realized that there was a better way to raise children to be good people. In the end, looked at properly, Yosemite Sam was a mean motherfucker with anger issues and a short fuse, and we’re probably better off without him as a role model.

I have used the downvote only once since I’ve been here - if I think someone’s content needs a rebuttal or a rebuke, I prefer to use my vocabulary. If someone were being a blatant, unrepentant bigot or racist, or indulging in willful ignorance, I might consider adding the red arrow for emphasis. If someone is posting factually false and dangerous information like, say, insisting that Maximum Impact is the same thing as poppers and totally safe, hell yeah I’d flag that sucker red and tear it apart word-by-word in the next post. But if something is really egregiously offensive, I have no qualms whatever about reporting it to the Moderators - I figure that if the guy is that big an asshole to start with, poking him with a little red arrow isn’t going to do anything to improve his disposition.

I fear it is in the nature of a site like this for members to simply drop away without notice or any explanation - the reasons may vary, but ultimately none if us is here represented as his self without some sort of cloak for purely practical, real-world reasons, and that arrangement that allows us the safety to communicate freely here also promotes clean, quick disappearance. @BootmanLA makes good points about the level (probably high) of at least exaggerated and often purely fictional member content - creating that kind of content does not require the same kind if personal investment as when someone is being genuine. A game is simply a game. There are some of us, like myself, who aren’t playing a game here, and who are writing about the real events if their real lives in an effort to try to connect to men with similar experiences, or even simply to try to understand themselves better by blogging it out, and that effort can be very frustrating when most others are typing fantasy fapshit and calling it real. I can understand why some might give up in that basis I can understand that some, after a time, might begin to sense that the same or similar topics keep getting started again and again as new people come in and don’t look at the thread history. I would never have dreamed when I first logged in here that I would have had enough to say about assfucking to rack up my post count, but even I am finding I have less and less to say that I haven’t said already - and most people are likely to move on to other interests quicker. In certain cases of people who stop posting, I feel a weight of uncertainty - take, for instance, Dirtyfuckboy. I know nothing of him beyond what he has chosen to post, but if I take the body of his posts at face value, they paint a portrait of a man on a potentially self-destructive course. If he then abruptly disappears, one cannot avoid the question of whether the actions and behaviors he was describing led to an undesirable - if foreseeable - outcome. Perhaps, perhaps not. We may never know. And that’s unfortunate, because it could be a potentially important object lesson for the rest of us. Or he could have just gotten bored with it. I can’t speak to the question of members being so trolled by other members that they give up on the site - I have personally never been harassed by others over the things I’ve written (perhaps it’s just one of the perks of not being popular or ‘hot’ or whatever - there’s certainly nothing that would ever make anyone feel jealous of me). But I echo others in expressing regret if people are being driven away by this.

Also, as an accessibility issue, for users with certain types of colorblindness, red colors appear as greys and such tags may be indistinct or invisible.

Internet Explorer has long been notorious among web designers for not supporting aspects of developing code that were clearly the trend for the future. If you’re a diehard IE user, you should at least consider upgrading to Edge, Microsoft’s newer browser, and seeing if it performs better for you.

On Chrome on my iPhone the Notifications bell is available at the bottom of the screen without needing to open the right-hand more-options slider. Does your Android system give you an option for a bottom nav bar? Mine looks like this:

You could always try putting flyers on their windshields...

The difference is that the avatar is a representation intended for general view by anyone and not directed specifically at the individual being approached in an assertive way, as are nude pics that suddenly pop up on a one-on-one instant message. The pics that are sent actively target the recipient and carry with them the implication of obligation: I’ve shown you my intimate parts, so to be fair you should show me yours. This presumption is what makes them rude - the avatar doesn’t do the same thing in that it imparts no sense of expectation that a viewer should respond with an avatar in kind. While there is no actual obligation for the recipient of revealing pics to respond, people tend to seek a kind of equilibrium with others in social interactions because parity makes interaction easier...usually. Except in this case, the recipient is made uncomfortable by a sudden demand for intimate personal information, and this frustrates his instinct to form a connection. The rudeness comes from placing the recipient in this awkward position. Looked at another way, it’s the difference between a man with no pants on walking down the street minding his own business and another man walking up to you personally and flashing you nude in his trenchcoat - you may find both uncouth, and both are likely to be arrested for indecent exposure, but the one you’re really going to be annoyed at is the guy in the trenchcoat because he got personal.

@BootmanLA and @NLbear - Interesting that your experience with these is so different from mine, that the ones passed to me tend to be genuine while the ones passed to you don’t. I’m not saying by any means that I don’t get false cock pics, but I do find that most of the ones I get are precursors to an actual cunting, and most of the equipment appears to arrive as advertised. Not always, but mostly. I wonder what accounts for the difference? Perhaps the nature of what’s on offer in the profile? My profiles are pretty candid about what I’m there for, so maybe some simply don’t bother trying to solicit pics or compliments from someone blatantly intent on fuckwhoring. And when it’s spelled out in no uncertain terms that I’m going to take a cock no matter what it looks like, why bother trying to impress me? Honestly. I could be making so many men very happy, if they would just step up and take what’s on the table, for free, right in front of them. Yet they don’t. Men are weird.

What a fascinating question. My mind doesn’t normally fixate on a given individual using me, but it had never occurred to me to entertain the notion of some villain doing so. I think this would probably be an easy fit for me because my trajectory from homoerotic virgin to trained sexual submissive has been pretty much entirely at the hands of men with dark desires. I once sent my former Master (a sadist) a suggestion for a new avatar, because I thought it resembled him. It was a picture of Bluto. Yer killin’ me here. Hot, I’ll leave you to decide, but this guy doesn’t cut it as a villain, let alone The Master - I mean, he claps his hands with glee. Roger Delgado as The Master, now ... that man could make you tremble. (By all accounts a lovely man offstage, though.) Gaston must be a matter of personal taste - he uses antlers in all of his decorating. It would be kind of cool to be the ass chosen for destruction by Thanos, or even Galactus - go big or go home, right? God - imagine a speed-pounding by Reverse Flash... Yeah, I’m going to stop thinking about this now. I can see why my mind has avoided going here in the past. The possibilities unfold before me in a whole alternate universe of unfulfillable temptations. I’d better go find a hungry Top to remind me what I’m really meant for. Have fun!

I do not subscribe to the idea that every signal sent by someone else is deserving of a response simply because he sent it. There are three types of contacts, in particular, that I often ignore because they signal that the sender did not take the time to look at my profile long enough to have a genuine interest: 1) “Sup” (and its variants). This amounts, in my view, to nothing more than a ping in the dark. It gives me no clue as to what the person wants, what his interest is, and throws the burden onto me to actively engage. If I were to ping back with something equally neutral such as “not much, you?”, 90% of follow-ups (if any) turn out to be just as useless: “horny” or “bored”. If they were honest, they would at least reply “lazy”. 2) Taps/Oinks/Woofs etc. On Grindr, my profile specifically states “Do Not Tap Me. If you want to get my attention, use your words.” And yet: tap, tap, tap, tap... I ignore them, because it tells me instantly that they didn’t bother to look at my profile. Does their tap deserve my response? I say no. On other apps, such wolf-whistles are no more useful than “sup” and require even less effort to send. In a real-life cruising situation, how would I be expected to respond to a real-life wolf-whistle from across the room? 3) “Pics”. I have now developed a special reply reserved for those who send me this one-word opening missive. I respond with images of guitar picks, dental picks, icepicks, and assorted other prepared images of different types of picks to try to make sure I cover the topic. Usually at that point they either block me (thank you), express confusion, or then specify “pics of your ass”. To which I reply either “Not a pic trader” or “I only send pics to men who are actually going to fuck me.” And I almost never hear from them again. So in the end, did “pics” deserve a reply? Not really, no, and the effort I took to respond was only to purge the irritation that his rude, selfish and presumptuous demand caused to begin with. I actually don’t have as much of an issue with unsolicited cock picks arriving unannounced - I take these as a direct advertisement of interest in fucking, because in my experience that’s usually what they are, rather than simply an attempt to get me to respond with images. I don’t fault them for not having any text because I think of them as sort of picture-being-worth-1000-words (and a fair example of real inches). 🙂

Nice one. Since you hopped on Grindr immediately, I’d say you had definitely been warming up a boneless rib.

I wouldn’t count on accuracy. I’ve had apps tell me I’m a tenth of a mile away from myself. While bilocation would actually be convenient - I’ve always thought that fucking myself would be spectacularly good sex - it appears to simply be a result of imprecise data from GPS satellites. That’s not to say you can’t make deductions. As @BootmanLA notes above, if you’re on a rural road and the app pings a guy within 500 feet and there’s only one house in view, chances are you can zero in. But accuracy has it’s limits: A guy had arranged to meet me at an ABS not long ago, and he texted me to ask if I had arrived, I described what I was (and wasn’t) wearing, and shortly the app showed him at 25 feet away. He hadn’t described himself, so I couldn’t pick him out from the others present, and then after a bit, the app showed his distance increase until it was obvious he had flaked on me and left. I have occasionally found the distance meter useful when hosting, and some guy tells me “On my way” but then his location distance stays exactly the same - I don’t end up wasting a lot of time wondering where he is or if he’s going to show.

@BadGayGuy - You say that you simply can’t get hard for a guy, no matter how hot his appearance or how good the actual sex is, after two or three couplings. An inability to become physically aroused may have its basis in psychological factors that aren’t immediately obvious. The chemical and emotional bonding that bodies undergo when they fuck is real, and affects individuals differently at an emotional and even subconscious level - is it possible that after two or three fucks with a guy, some inner part of you detects some sort of sense of potential ongoing connection/attachment forming, and your conscious mind violently rejects that (for any of a number of reasons) and short-circuits your sexual response? Put more simply, could you be so commitment-averse that your body simply shuts down if confronted with even the suggestion of it? Another line of contemplation suggests that perhaps there is some inner need you are attempting to meet through sex, but have, thus far, found that the sexual interactions you have had all fail to meet that need. Is it possible that you’re subconsciously “trying on” each partner for a very specific fit that you can’t put words to, only to cast each one aside like an ill-tailored shirt when the fit isn’t exactly right? I’m not asking this with ant negative implication, just posing it as a possible avenue of thought. The reasons for what you’re experiencing could be something else entirely, and since I’m not a telepath and can’t wander around in the salacious streetcorners of your mind looking for smutty versions of you to interrogate, I can only speculate. You, in the other hand, probably already know the answer, if you can just think your way to it. It’s easy to take an observation about yourself such as you’ve made and try to understand it only from the surface level of personal preference - most responders to the thread have followed that line thus far. Preference, itself, however, has deeper roots, in desire, fear, self-image. If you want to truly understand why you’re a Limit-3-Per-Customer kind of guy, you’re going to have to dig deep. Here’s a place to start, BadGayGuy - why did you choose that username? Who says you’re a bad gay guy? I’m betting you’re probably no worse than most of us here, and I guarantee you’re not as wicked as some of us. [Looks around the room] Oh yeah, you sleazy, randy fuckers, you know exactly what I’m talking about. I’ll be waiting for you in the darkroom.

Preach that ^.

[Looks at pencil he’s holding] I honestly cannot claim to have ever seen one that narrow, and having had hundreds of cocks rut my cunt in a dizzying array of sizes and shapes - 😲 - I would say my sampling has been... comprehensive. Still, human phallic anatomy seems astonishingly diverse for a single species; maybe that’s why I never, ever get tired of looking at them.

Cumdump: This seems to signify something beyond being simply a promiscuous bottom - it seems to be commonly understood to designate a bottom who accepts coitus indiscriminately, serially, and frequently. The term often carries the implication that the bottom is in some way degraded or devolved; the word being more noun-like than descriptive, it tends to cast the person described more in the role of object or utility (a ‘dump’) than a person. I consider it a stratifying term used to segregate men into idealized sexual power structures. I think it’s notable that cumdump can be applied with an understood derogatory context (such as contempt, or with the intensifier faggot) by another man, yet the man described can at the same time self-describe using the same term with none of the negative baggage associated with it. Anon: I am often fucked to completion by men who enter my room with either no notice or little notice beyond asking for an address and room number. No information about preference is exchanged beyond, at most, what is necessary to confirm that I take cock bare up the ass. I make no attempt to examine the man as he takes his pleasure, and only see what he wants me to see. On occasion, this is nothing, as a blindfold is requested. Once he finishes he leaves, and I am left with the certain knowledge that a stranger has just pumped his essence into my body and I will never have any way if knowing who he was. That, for me, is the meaning of Anon. Contrast this with a guy contacting his friend I haven’t met to come and fuck me - his friend uses me intimately for an hour before at last filling me with his semen. A couple of minutes later, we introduce ourselves (this sort of thing has happened to me several times, and it’s always kind of funny). I don’t call it Anonymous sex because the Top doesn’t remain anonymous. NSA: Acronym for No Strings Attached. Particularly, heartstrings. Sex without complication, commitment, or any whiff of drama. Sex both parties can walk away from without regret. No promises made or implied, no promises broken. FWB: Acronym for Friend With Benefits. I think it’s important to draw a distinction, since we’re weeding out terms here, between FWB and FB (fuckbuddy). FWB, in my view, best designates a man with whom one has a friend relationship on a non-sexual level, but with whom one also enjoys intimate recreational sex. If the sex becomes more than a casual recreation - if stopping it or doing the same with others would put the friendship at risk - it is no longer a FWB situation but an actual relationship. A FB, on the other hand, is often a man with whom one’s primary (or only) association is sexual contact. Over time, a FB might become a FWB, but I believe the term FB can coexist with the concept of NSA(see above) much more readily than could FWB. ’No Loads Refused’: Actual meaning anymore: ‘I want cock’. I find this a problematic phrase because while it should be a very simple and direct and taken at face value, its actual usage has become so hyperbolized as to dilute its interpretation. Taken as expressed, a bottom who claims No Loads Refused is making the plain statement that he will accept fucking by any cock, and accept the internal deposit if that cock’s load, without question or discrimination. ‘No’ is the universal negator of selection in this usage. Yet the phrase is in near-constant use by bottoms for whom the truth is ‘No Loads Refused...except the ones I don’t want’. And since that’s the reality, the phrase must be most commonly interpreted instead to mean ‘I want cock’. Bottoms who truly can truly claim ‘No Loads Refused’ exist, but are not that common, for a good reason - doing so is going to inevitably make them ill. Even I, who make the honest (and verifiable) claim that I will refuse no man his right to fuck me, may ask a man to defer his pleasure or (in extremis) wrap if I somehow learn that he has an active STD or a HVL, for this very practical reason. So because if this, and because of the horde of hungry bottoms out there all trying to rise to the top of the froth by making outlandish sexual claims, I personally don’t use ‘No Loads Refused’. Power Bottom/Top: Definitely a source of confusion. Candidly, I’ve always considered ‘Power Top’ an oxymoron, as power is, to my mind implied in the role. I really can’t address it other than to point to possible distinctions between Alpha/Dom (true Dominant) Tops and those who merely have a preference. The term ‘Power Bottom’, however, seems to have two divergent uses, different enough to merit a distinction. The first is the usage I am most familiar with from within the BDSM subculture, in which the term is a signifier of the type of role the bottom takes in his practice as a submissive. In this context, a ‘Power Bottom’ is one who is in active control in the scene, directing or even instructing the Dominant. These Power Bottoms are said to ‘Top from the bottom. The other usage, found more in mainstream sexual context, is one where the term signifies a bottom’s skill/endurance/stamina. This type of ‘Power Bottom’ may claim to merit the description for the ability to regularly take cocks of extreme size, advanced fisting, high numbers of fuckings in a short duration, double penetrations, and/or brutal fucking for long duration. Notably, the first usage of ‘Power Bottom’ is usually applied to the bottom by others; the second usage is most often assigned to a bottom by himself. In my experience it requires a bit of examination to determine which type is in use in a given instance, but the answer is not that hard to figure out. It’s a pity we don’t have a way to identify the bottoms who genuinely merit the second usage, but I suppose the potential of that treasure hunt is part if what motivates Tops to keep sticking cocks in holes...

That was diplomatic. Asking another bottom for help is going to be a huge waste of the other guy’s time, that much is obvious. He’s not going to make much progress of any kind until he gets his own head untangled.

Ooh - This is a good question. Sometimes the inner eye produces images in the mind so much more erotic than visual pornography. On the other hand, this could be dangerous - I can all too easily see myself getting waaay to hot & bothered listening to some sizzling podcast whilst driving... Well, officer, you see... I might have been a bit... inattentive...

You wouldn’t know it from the way I spill it all out here on BreedingZone, but I don’t talk about by sexual life anywhere but here and to the men who use me. No one who knows me personally is aware of what I do except for my former Master, who remains a good friend, and one of my nephews, who is gay, but he knows only that I service Tops, not that I’m what is here often termed a ‘faggot cumdump whore’. (And no, all you sick bastards, I am not fucking my nephew, for God’s sake. Give it a rest.) Am I struggling to accept what I am? Not exactly, not in the conventional sense - I don’t really like that my sexual psychology seems to be driven by a deep-seated need to please others rooted in an unshakable belief that no one is ever going to want me. Part of me actually loathes every aspect of my sexual nature and would be perfectly happy if a sexual urge never occurred to me again. But the reality is that I have found a kind if equilibrium that addresses my sexual need, justifies its expression, and makes it okay to be heavily used but never loved, all at the same time. Don’t get me wrong - mine is a terrible way to deal with it, 0/10 Do not recommend. It only works for me because I’m able to uncouple my emotions from the whole thing. If I couldn’t, I’d be a fucking mess. As it is, I can be a cumdump and actually live what I say about my ass being other Men’s to fuck at will, on command. I’m not playing any head-games with myself or anyone else at this point. As far as I’m concerned, that’s as close to the Truth about what I am and who I am as I’m going to get, so I’m internally content with it. Sometimes I’m a little sad knowing that I’m never going to have the fulfillment of loving and being loved in return, but them’s the breaks. I may not get to be happy, but I’ll at least spread a little joy. I don’t keep all this to myself because I’m ashamed, but for the much more practical reason that we have to live around other people in real life, and those people misunderstand and judge. It’s not fair, and it’s unkind, but the reality is that every single one of us relies on others to see us in certain “positive” and “accepted” ways in order for those people to react toward us in positive ways. We are all interdependent, but if we begin severing connections by forcing others to confront a reality about us that the don’t want to confront, then we can’t access the things we need from our social system. Where I live, one does not walk down the street wearing a tee-shirt reading “We’re Queer And We’re Here”. The church ladies start to cluck, and then suddenly you find you can’t get a plumber when you need one, and your car’s paint job keeps getting keyed. Not talking about one’s cross-dressing, or not being overheard casually talking about the different tastes of semen isn’t really about shame - it’s unfortunately a matter of practical living. If you find that thinking about your desires causes you mental distress, or you reach a point if impasse at which you cannot reconcile thoughts and emotions, you might consider seeking out the services of a licensed therapist who specializes, or at least has special training, in human sexuality. The outside perspective can help.