ErosWired

You are wrong. As several members above have already explained, “Raw” in the generally understood sexual context refers to coitus without a physical barrier - i.e., bare flesh on bare flesh. Your confusion lies in the attempt to apply a term used for a general sexual practice to your particular fetish, bugchasing. Unfortunately, you don’t get to redefine the common lexicon everyone uses to understand each other simply to accommodate your personal tastes. If you don’t believe “raw” properly describes fucking with sensible safeguards to stop the advance of the Enemy Virus, then you’ll just have to coin a term of your own that means “intentionally unsafe fucking”. And then preferably tattoo it on your forehead so those of us who care about our health know to avoid having sex with you.

The flaw in that comparison is that taco trucks are regulated in the U.S. out of rational concern about things like salmonella, E. coli, ptomaine, etc., and the fact that a wide cross-section of the community could be affected. By contrast, crackdowns on darkrooms at (ahem) Gentlemen’s Emporiums are largely moralistic crusades with the “health and safety” concerns merely a pretext for Prohibition. Yet I would rather have the system we have here than the one in Mexico, where in certain states the hombre with his taco truck might one afternoon decide to use that same truck to block the road in front of some gringo from el Norte who has a nicer truck, shoot him in the head and make off with his nicer truck, knowing that the local policia are a fully-owned subsidiary of the cartel, and as long as he keeps moving those little bags along with his tacos, he’s got nothing to worry about.

Oh, Lord, absolutely don’t do it at your home! Doing that in a hotel room is dicey enough, but in your home you’re just begging guys to come in and case the place for burglary - or for sexual assault when you aren’t ready for it. Definitely try the sauna route. I have to say, I wish I could rock a “Cum In Me Bro” tank top the way you do... 😉

Almost literally on the other side of the damn planet from here. When I started the thread, I had no idea the results were going to be this frustrating. Full disclosure for those of you living elsewhere than the United States - the phrase “Land of Opportunity” is sometimes not all that accurate. 🤨

Be cautious about shutting down your awareness of your surroundings if you’re going to do anon scenes. You are already in a vulnerable position, and making it so that you cannot see or hear what’s coming at you would simply be unwise, especially in open-door situations. Not all Men who come through your door may be harmless guys looking to pump and go. They may do other things to you that you don’t like or want. They may overpower you, restrain you, rape you, rob you, beat you. All of these things have happened before. When I host, I keep my wits clear, my senses sharp, and my extra self-defense within easy reach. I would love to do what you’re talking about when I host, and just become a lump of warm, wet flesh for their use, but aside from the danger, I can’t give my Tops the fuck they deserve if I can’t hear their sex sounds or see the cues they exhibit that tell me how to respond in ways that excite them. I can never make the mistake of turning the fuck into something about me, or I risk ruining it for both of us.

I’m going to respond out of experience, rather than your desire for the next hot, degrading thing to have done to you. Please, please reconsider doing that, for two main reasons: 1) The skin around your anal sphincter is not tough, and can be torn by any hard or even high-friction object passing through it. Even a cock can do it under the right conditions. Any tear in that skin can become an anal fissure - a wound so painful that a bowel movement will feel like you’re slicing yourself open with a rusty knife. It’s a breathtaking, agonizing pain that surpasses even the toughest pain threshold. You may think you get off on pain, but not this pain, I promise you. And, at its worst, it will require surgery to repair. Been there, done that, don’t recommend it. 2) Scrubbing away the mucous membranes and slicing little openings into the skin in the interior of your anal cavity prior to sex with another man dramatically increases the chance that you will catch any STD he may be carrying, including HIV, gonorrhea, chlamydia, syphilis, genital herpes, HPV, HEP A, B and C... shall I go on? Assuming that this was part of the idea in the first place, I can tell you that I’ve been the recipient of all of the first four, and please believe me when I tell you that you don’t want them, and neither do the Men who may later fuck you. Seriously. Let that heal up and find some other, less crazy, way to get your kink on.

“Submissive Top” is sort of an oxymoron - the qualities that make one Man want to top another are not passive qualities. In relationships, certainly, a Top may entertain those kinds of requests or instructions out of love for his partner, and in equally Vers flipping situations, a certain amount of cross-positional play is par for the course. But as a committed service bottom it would never occur to me to try to instruct a Top that way - our fuck is, and will always properly be, about his pleasure, his satisfaction, and his orgasm, his way. It is a celebration of the traits that make him a Man, and make him entitled to enjoy fucking ass like mine when and how he pleases. Those traits include aggression, dominance, courage, fearlessness, strength, and virility. None of these are passive traits. A submissive may possess some of these traits, but the aggression and dominance will be absent in a true submissive, by definition. The only scenarios I can imagine that involve behavior such as described in the original post would be a) A BDSM scene in which a sub is being made to fuck another sub by a Dom (or the Dom himself if Vers), or b) a desire by the greediest of “greedy bottoms”, whose sole interest is their own physical gratification and who utterly fail to understand their actual role in the gay male sexual ecosystem. Suffice it to say that such situations can be expected to be vanishingly rare - as, in my view, they ought to be.

I didn’t have my first same-sex experience until I was 37. But I know absolutely that had there been a same-sex experience in my teens - any experience - my life would have taken a radically different trajectory. All it would have taken would have been one nudge and I would have fitted instantly into the sexual groove I was designed for.

$20? It’s hotter when they’re doing it because they need the 50 cents.

...What is this demolition porn you’re watching?

Although this thread is a year old, I think a response to the OP’s starting question bears repeating, just as @DannyBoyCMH has done, if only for the benefit of those newly venturing into this arena. Re-read the originating post and note what the OP is asking - he is actively attracting Alpha and Dominant Tops, allows himself to be blindfolded, cuffed and restrained, and wants to know how he can make sure these men always use a condom as he demands. The answer, of course, is that he can’t. Even a seasoned bottom with a decent build can get overpowered - it happens. There are Tops who don’t mind opening a bag of dirty tricks to make sure they get what they want, and if you’re going to put your ass out there and draw them to you, you can expect the aggression, domination, and physical force that comes with powerful Men. The idea that a bottom holds the power in the power exchange is true - up to the point that the exchange is made. What the OP basically wants here (naïvely, in my view) is to have his cake and eat it, too, failing to understand that the equivalent exchange that enables these potent mutual sexual experiences requires sacrifice. He wants the thrill of nice, safe play with Men who are neither nice nor safe. It’s not unlike trespassing into the lion enclosure at the zoo because you want to pet the lions. They’re not tame lions, and these are not tame Men. They must be considered as dangerous and unpredictable as any apex predator. Every time I leave my hotel room door cracked open, I am fully aware what could come through it. I make sensible provision for my defense, but I am very, very, very vulnerable to any Man who might want to...indulge himself at my expense, or to rape by a small group who could easily overpower me and then take whatever savage liberty they may. Given this reality, the notion of insisting that such men put on a condom prior to debasing me would be absurd. Far more likely, I would end up focused on trying to take the fucking with a minimum of injury and try to survive. I have, thankfully, never been obliged to truly put it to the test, but the point is I think it important to reply to the OP and others like him that this is a Man’s game, rough and perilous and wild, and if your focus is on making sure you’re never at any risk - then you really need to find another game. The lions get really hungry.

Answer a: They had better be, or they’re going to get fucked dry. Answer b: With their hands. A willing bottom is going to present ass-outward so that’s what gets found by hands fumbling in the dark. If somebody finds your mouth, expect something to be shoved into it. If somebody finds your cock hard, expect them to try to pull it into something wet. If it’s not hard, expect someone to at least try to make it hard.

^ This. One of the quickest ways a municipality can shut down an “undesirable” adult business in a neighborhood is to send in the Fire Marshall and have the place cited as unsafe. The Fire Marshall can shut a place down and it’s not going to open again until he’s satisfied that it complies to the letter of the code. And there’s always something else wrong. That’s precisely what happened with the Louisville Bondage Club a few years ago when it shared a warehouse play space with a couple of other alternative-lifestyle groups. One night the Fire Marshall showed up, and after that, no more play space. No cops, no arrests, no question about rights or obscenity or any such as that, just bureaucratic fiat against which there is no appeal.

Hookup sites are still a necessity for any kind of cumdump hosting experience when you’re not in a major metropolitan area with clubs or baths. How else would anyone know that a bottom is ass-up, wet and eager in a hotel room? Even in a smaller city like Louisville, the opportunities for serial service are very limited, and in the middle of nowjere in Kentucky (the entire flipping state is basically composed of nowhere) it’s hopeless without the ability to broadcast your intentions and your whereabouts. I still use BBRTS, Grindr, Growlr, and A4A when I’m slutting. None of them stands way above the others, though I have picked up more repeat use off of BBRTS, and for all its flaws, I can still count on Grindr for at least a couple of ad hoc fucks, usually from the younger set. I had zero, and I mean zero, result from Scruff, and though I don’t get a lot from Growlr, the ones I connect with from there are usually quality contacts. I might add that the only one I subscribe to is BBRTS - all the others I ride on their basic platform. Finally, a word about Recon. I’ve been on Recon for years, and it has its uses. But given that it primarily supports fetish and BDSM practice, its membership is more limited and distributed than that of, say, BBRTS. Nowadays I receive very few hits on Recon, and most of them are from Men “looking for a submissive willing to relocate to live with them as their 24/7/365 slave. (Thank you...no.) But it’s hit-and-miss all around. If I had regular access to sex clubs and baths, I’d probably rely on apps way less, but as it is, without them my ass would go unfucked for months. It already sometimes goes for weeks, which is just not acceptable...

I would never pay someone for sexual service for exactly this reason - the thought would be constantly on my mind that to the other man the interaction was nothing more than a business transaction. He might as well be fucking my wallet. By the same token, I would never accept any compensation for my sexual service because a) the Top is already entitled to my ass to begin with, and b) because my goal is for the Top to leave with a greater sense of self-worth.

Indeed. I am beyond tired of twentysomethings hitting me up on Grindr when I’m hosting and then asking if I’m ‘generous’ as though I was the one hitting on them. When they ask me now, I just tell them, “I’m only generous with my ass, but you can have as much of that as you want.” The irony is that one or two of them have gotten pissed at that and called me a whore.

I don’t even think twice about it. If the Top wants to use my mouth, that’s his prerogative, though I’m always up-front that I’m not a world champion cocksucker and my ass is a way better feel. Some Men, though, just really get off on the whole idea of ATM. I was once fucked by a guy in a group who switched between my ass and my mouth half a dozen times, and each time, he would tell me very emphatically, “My cock was just inside your ass and now it’s going inside your mouth!” (He did, however, end up pumping his seed deep inside my ass.) I’ve actually been somewhat surprised of late at how many Tops make a beeline to wash up before I can even get turned around to tongue-wash their cocks after the fuck. I would be doing a lot more ATM if it weren’t for that...

In so many of my encounters I’m bred from behind by Men I may not even see, so kissing doesn’t become a question - and why would it? Do you kiss your Fleshlight when you use it? But every now and again a Top will want to get more involved and flip me around, and sometimes they dive in for contact with my lips. Without exception, I feel a tongue penetrate deep into my mouth on the first contact. It’s never sensuous; never lip-work first, just another form of domination. I allow it, of course, as part of my service to them. I try to react with the best kissing I can give back, the responsive kind that signals rising need and growing submission, as well as any skill I might have (I do actually practice tying cherry stems into a knot with just my tongue). Most of the time it isn’t unpleasant, but occasionally a guy will have so much saliva going on that it repulses me (not going to lie) - I don’t refuse him, but I try to make it quick. I never initiate a kiss. I kiss those whom I love. I am not, and will never be, looking for a significant other among the Men I serve. I’m strictly NSA, and I find that kissing increases the potential for Complications. The worst outcome is for a Man to get the notion that he’s falling for me, and if one asks me for a kiss - versus just taking one - that’s a red flag. A lonely Man asking for a kiss is precarious. For that reason, kissing isn’t a turn-on for me. I always have to be mindful of consequences.

Interesting - So far, nothing in the United States...

Getting an unexpected message from a Man I don’t know who fucked me last time I hosted, wanting to know when I’ll be back - it’s the realization that he doesn’t want to get to know me, or to know who I am at all, he just enjoyed fucking my hole and wants to use me in the same way, just for himself, again.

This is so true to experience that it makes one wonder what causes this phenomenon. Something must. In the same way that one Top using a bottom in a sling may be the kindling that sets a group’s lust burning, is there something that works the other way? Is there a ‘sling stigma’ if you’re seen in a sling not being fucked?

I read on here about men’s experiences in true darkrooms - lightless holes where sight is irrelevant and all the other senses are employed in an excess of anonymous sex. Sounds like my kind of place. But I have yet to actually find one. Can anyone recommend some of the best places to go to find really good - and really dark - darkrooms?

I did not until my former Master started telling me, “Clean up,” after he would make me shoot, and by that he meant for me to swallow what I had just produced. I wasn’t given a choice then, and eventually got so used to it that I don’t think twice about it now. Before that, the only time I tried it was when I was a (much more flexible) teenager and could actually get the head of my cock into my mouth - I was able to swallow my own cum the instant I shot it, before I could have a negative reaction to it. I only did that two or three times, though.

@takingdeepanal - I appreciate the support, but total bottom here, so...(: Actually interestingly to the thread topic, I’m not certain if it was the Top who I mentioned in my post above who wanted no part of me, but in October when I went back up there, a Top hit me up at the hotel and used me well, and then confessed that he had seen my ad and had been determined to come fuck me because he had learned more about Undetectable and had felt guilty about the way he had reacted toward me the last time! At the baths!! Maybe it soothed his conscience. People can come around to a new way of thinking, though. I’ve stopped worrying about rejection altogether. I’m 53, I was never one of the Beautiful People, I have the charisma of a goose and a face made for radio. Really the only thing in my favor is that my ass is apparently pretty enjoyable. So I just throw it all out there in my profiles, recent pics, current age, honest text - knowing right up front that some men are going to reject me out of hand. But that way I also know that those who do hit me up may be interested in taking me as I am.

@insatiablebot - A sensory deprivation hood is a full-head mask, usually leather or rubber, with either eye coverings or no eye holes at all, and sound-blocking ear pads. Depending on the design, it may also lack nostril holes and rely solely on the mouth for breathing. The purpose of this hood is to eliminate a submissive’s ability to sense what a Top is doing so that the first awareness that the Top is even present may be the touch of the Top’s finger on the bottom’s flesh. Only touch and taste, and sometimes smell, are available, which intensifies those sensations in the absence of sight and sound. Personally I would never use a sensory deprivation hood in an anon hosting setting - it leaves the bottom far too vulnerable in my view. These hoods are designed for BDSM play in which a strong trust relationship has been established. Plus, as a service bottom, it would severely limit my ability to read cues from the Top that I need to heighten his pleasure. I mean, if you’re an adrenaline junky who likes to flirt with danger, I can definitely see the appeal, but...nope for me.