ErosWired

Aaaaand the hits just keep on comin’! 26-year-old on Grindr: ”You into yngr?” Me: “Age doesn’t matter to me at all. I serve any man who wants me. If you want my ass, it’s yours.” Him: “I mean fucked-up picture swspping” Me: “No. Sorry, not into that. I’m busy having sex with people.” He blocks me. ~~fume~~

A 21-year-old (naturally) on Grindr (also naturally) with the screen name “BBC 4 GeN” taps me, and the first - and only - statement in his profile is “I’m mobile only if u have a paypal”. I think I’ll tap him back. Not.

Oh - so that’s what G does... I’ve always been tempted to find out... Wait - that was a lie, wasn’t it?

I had a conversation with a Top on Grindr last night who said that “there are a niche of us who get it” who are “primal, selfish, dominating and enjoy debasing”. While that may not be a ringing endorsement, I think it does give me an answer that soes not surprise me - the way I feel about the question is not in the mainstream, and most men are unlikely to believe that I am sincere because my view is inconsistent with their worldview. That’s fine. I’m used to being in a niche, sort of like a piece of bric-a-brac. But I intend to carry on as I am all the same, and treat all other men as though they know they have a right to fuck me. And along the way, I’m sure I will encounter some like the man from Grindr, who agree, and act upon our shared conviction.

I had a guy tell me to go to a cross street in a city an hour’s drive away from my home and when I got to the location he blocked me. *~poof-* Gone.

For some reason, first-timers to the bathhouse in Indy where CumUnion is held always seem to find their way to my room and ask questions. There have been several instances when a guy has come in and said, “This is the first time I’ve been to a place like this...” They’re usually still dressed and holding their towel like they’re not sure what it’s for, and they just look lost and terrified. I don’t know, maybe I just have a welcoming-looking ass, or maybe it’s the sign I hang on my door that says “Welcome! Cum On In!” but whatever it is, I always seem to end up taking them in hand, guiding a tour of the facility, and getting them in position for their first hook-up. I firmly believe that these businesses would benefit from a full-time host to do this sort of thing. Anyway, if you find yourself at The Works in Indy for your first CumUnion and feel a bit lost, come find me. I wear a silver collar and am usually to be found in room 301. Wherever I am, you can look for the door with the welcome sign, or just keep an eye out for an unusually welcoming ass.

@BillyBareback - That’s another interesting conundrum. If you believe that all three of those men equally had a right to fuck you, then two of them shouldn’t have had to pay the other for the privilege. But, for you to have said so would have interfered with the first Top’s sexual dominance of you, and possibly spoiled his experience. Tricky...

@NLbear - That raises an interesting perspective - the possibility that those of us who express our belief that our bodies owe an unquestioned duty to others may actually be encouraging a false sense of general entitlement among the very men we hope will realize what we believe is their very real entitlement to us. I think perhaps a sense of this may be what prompted my question in the first place. I fully understand what my sexual service training did to my thinking; it fundamentally changed the way I see myself. I know that most men - even most committed bottoms - don’t have the same mindset, because as utterly natural as this feels to me, it wouldn’t be natural for most people. If I were walking down the street in any given city at any given time of day, and a man - any man - grabbed me by the arm and said, “Into that alley - I want to fuck your ass”, I would go into the alley, without a question. If a man in a store reached down the back of my pants without warning and stuck his finger in my hole, I would not resist him. To me, these men are simply exercising a prerogative. But I take @evilqueerpig‘s point above, that many, if not most, bottoms who make statements like “All bottoms should be available to Top Men at all times No Questions Asked” are actually signalling willingness rather than a personal doctrine. Therefore, my question takes on even more importance when I ask Tops, when we say you have a right to our ass, do you take us at our word?

If we never know if your answer is true or not, what is the point of this exercise?

I’m still curious how one goes about finding a tattoo artist willing to do one. My understanding is that such craftsmen are not common, and you couldn’t just waltz into the average parlor and request to have it done. I would probably take the plunge if I knew how to get connected.

Okay, so it’s possible I’m just an anomaly... well, that’s fine, too. It’s true for me at least - it would just be a shame if no one believed me, or anyone else like me.

This is an example of the kind of statement I’m talking about - thank you, @Alamocitycumdump - that expresses a deeply held belief. What I’m unsure about is whether we’re believed and taken seriously. I can only speak for myself, of course, when I say it’s absolutely not fantasy talk, because I actually live what I say. I just hope you guys realize what you really do have in some of us.

Bear with me here. This question is about bottoms like me who claim that Tops have an absolute, actual right to fuck us. Do you take us at our word? Do you accept that we (some of us anyway) are quite serious? Do you feel entitled, and empowered, by our belief? I’m not crazy. People don’t have a right to nonconsensual contact with other people. It’s just that in this situation some of us believe that a right exist that is so natural and correct that our consent may be assumed. So - how do you men feel about this?

@backdoorjimmy - If you’re that averse to trying, I would honestly recommend that you not fly “I’ve never ejaculated before in my life” as yout personal flag. There are dominant Tops out there who would react to that with “Challenge: Accepted” and you would be made to get hard, and you would ejaculate, because they are devious, resourceful, and unrelenting. I know. I’ve been at their mercy. Which they don’t have.

You’re 19 and you’ve never ejaculated before in your life? That’s most unusual. Have you never tried? It might change the way you think about your cock...

Is this a common perception? I’ve frequently considered getting a guiche piercing, but had never heard that it carried any “meaning”. Not that that meaning wouldn’t fit me just fine...

I have avoided using a face pic mainly because the camera does not love me. I’m not hideous, just somehow don’t take a good face pic no matter what I do. “A face made for radio.” Eh, I’m not that good a cocksucker anyway. My ass takes much better pictures.

Really? I’d never noticed that before, and as many loads as men have unloaded into me in bathhouse rooms and hotel rooms, I would have thought I’d have noticed a pattern of slamming doors... Maybe men just feel guiltier where you are for some reason?

A special kind? What kind is that? I relish truly anonymous scenes - the kind where I never even get to see who breeds me, and will never know, and they happen a lot - but I’ll bet I’m not the kind of guy you’re thinking of... Fot one thing, I don’t like glory holes.

The poll specifies video taken while fucking, and gives options asking who filmed the guy-on-guy action, but makes no provision for solo vids. Perhaps this was intentional on your part; certainly there’s a big difference between the two. The new poll also doesn’t allow for uncertainty - for instance, I may not be sure whether my face was caught on camera, or whether I was filmed getting fucked during this or that group thing, but have reason to think it might have happened. I know I was stealth filmed once, but I have no idea what happened to that footage, or where it is now, so I can’t really answer the poll. I guess I’m just going to have to get brazen and find some guys to do some porn of them fucking the hell out of me so I’ll have something better to respond with. I mean, like, really - I’ll do it...

Perhaps I've mischaracterized my question. I've never thought of sex as a competition either - I'm in it because I love to perform the service. But in so many of our conversations on this site, our language is colored with phrases that invoke dominance and aggression: taking, penetrating, stretching, filling, forcing, holding, pushing, pulling, smacking, beating, breaking. On the other side are phrases that speak of the reaction or response: resisting, relaxing, taking (passively), pushing (back), tightening, enduring. It's exactly because a Top expects a response to his aggression that nobody likes a lazy bottom. To the degree that any act of male-on-male sex is an act of one male dominating another, it seems as though there must be some kind of inherent contest - but not necessarily in a sporting sense - involved. Contest in the sense of the comparison of one man's masculinity with another. Obviously, this conjecture doesn't cover all instances. There are plenty of times when two men, and especially committed partners, are simply loving on an equal basis and none of this applies. But my personal experience has been that the great majority of men who breed me enjoy the sense of pitting their active masculinity against mine, and take great pleasure in overcoming my resistance. It is not a formal, or even acknowledged contest - more like something that remains from when we were more attuned to our animal origins. But it happens, at least with some Tops, and I know that they don't all enjoy finishing at the same time or the same way. One Top's "win" isn't necessarily the next Top's. And maybe the feeling is rarer than I think it is, or maybe I just attract those types (I'm not complaining). Hell, if I were in one of those wrestling matches where the loser gets fucked, I'm the type of guy who would intentionally throw the match. Still, any Top who wants to weigh in...

James - I'm not sure we have enough information to successfully answer your question. How you go about hiding your sex stash involves several factors. For instance: How old are you? You say you live with your parents, but it makes a difference if you're 18 or 35. A 35-year-old has a greater expectation of adulty privacy than a teenager. What is your living situation at your parents' place? Your old room? An attic? The basement? Above the garage? Are you paying rent or any other compensation for the privilege of living there? If your place is not part of your parents' daily routine, there is less likelihood of entry, and if you are paying for the space in some way, you have a reasonable expectation of non-intrusion. Do you basically take care of yourself, or do you rely of the aid of your parents from day to day? Specifically, does your mum do your laundry? Does she feel a need to straighten your room? Make your bed? Change your sheets? Empty your garbage bin? If there are circumstances that would tend to lure your parents into your room for whatever reason, that will make concealing your secrets more complicated. Places NOT to hide things: 1, In your underwear drawer. First place anyone would look. Don't even bother. 2. Under your bed. You might as well have a sign with an arrow that reads "It's under here" 3. In a box placed up high in the back of your closet. Because nobody would ever think to look there.... 4. Underneath your mattress Think it through. Consider the daily movements of the people around you. Find a hiding place where they are least likely to go or be. Think of unusual spaces in the house - an air vent, a loose floor board, an access panel, a ceiling tile. But choose a place where you can get to your stash without undue risk - "James, why are you always fooling with that ceiling tile?" Some things can be hidden in plain sight. It is possible to obtain a hollow "book" to place on a bookshelf that could contain popper bottles, smaller toys, etc. Just make sure it's a title that nobody would ever, ever try to read. Something by Sartre, perhaps. Or, you can just follow @Davidc's advice and put it all in a lockbox, and just be ready to stand your ground when someone eventually stumbles across it and wants to know what it contains. As an adult, all you should have to say is, "It's private."

My favorite time on a fuck bench was once when I found one vacant and there were two guys standing near it but not looking particularly interested. I got on, and after a minute one mumbled something to the other and they started taking turns fucking me. After they both shot, they backed up against the wall again, and nothing happened for a few minutes, so I figured I should get off and let someone else use it if they wanted. I pushed up with my arms to get up, but suddenly felt a hand in the middle of my back, pushing me to stay down. Shortly after that, another guy came up and had me. Then timr passed again, and I figured that was it, but when I tried to get up, there was the hand again, pushing me down. He kept doing it until the guys fucking me had drawn a small crowd. I took 12 cocks on that bench. Good times... ?

I’ve always wondered about what happens with men who have fantasies/desires like this, the kind with very concrete, life-altering consequences. Once someone exposes you to your friends, your family, your superiors at work, to society at large, the deed is done and cannot be undone, nor can it be re-done with anything like the same effect. The excitement, I imagine, is mostly in the anticipation of being exposed, but once that happens, and passes, how do you go forward in your new reality where everyone knows your darkest secrets, and most cannot help judging you? I’m sure some will say, “I’m a worthless cumslut fag and I don’t care who knows it” but what if that means you can’t get any sort of decent job or friends begin to shun you? Has anyone here taken the leap and can tell us what it’s like after exposure? In a way, this reminds me of the way some guys talk about how much they want someone to castrate them. Once it’s done, it’s done in a very big way, and then what do you do? What do you fantasize about then? The chasm between fantasy and reality is vast.

Before you rush to answer, "When I cum in his ass," let me explain the question. I don't approach fucking as a contest, but as a service. Nevertheless, the act always becomes a test of my ability and endurance versus the stamina, drive, determination, and masculine physique of the Top, including the nature of his cock and his skill in using it. So far (I'm tempting fate here) I've never encountered a cock I couldn't take, but some of the men took more of a toll on me than others. Some men I can help to orgasm quickly and smoothly, but others... At last CumUnion, a man fucked me with such fervor and so much enjoyment that he said at one point, "God, I could do this forever." This alarmed me, because my legs were already quivering from the strain and my inner muscles had just about given out from working his cock. My arms had grown too tired to keep my head from hitting the wall as he pounded me. He didn't stop. He went on and on, and after a while, I realized I had stopped even making any sound, stopped resisting, With each thrust, my whole body shifted forward and back like a sack of grain. His cock had free rein of my insides, churning them up at will. I remember thinking, He won. He's totally beaten me. So this is what happens when you really, actually lose this game. I don't know that he considered it a contest or a game at all. I don't have any idea whether he thought of it as "conquering" me or even realized how completely he had owned me. But I do know that there are Tops who do approach fucking with that kind of aggression. I know it because sometimes the way my sex sounds change instinctively will elicit an abrupt shift in aggression, especially if it seems as though I'm weakening. Then they press home their advantage, sometimes to an extreme. It's at this time when I will often feel a hand creep around my throat, or a hand clamp onto the back of my neck and force it down onto the bed so that I can't move while my ass is pile-driven. I know from my time in BDSM at the hands of Dom Tops. So, my question to all you Tops on here: If you ever feel that competitive, or even just aggressive sense toward the bottom, how do you measure that you've won? I'm sure, for some of you, it's merely that you cum in his hole. But for others, is there a particular moment, sign, sound, movement, look? Are you never satisfied until you've broken him down utterly the way the guy at CumUnion did to me? Let's hear it.