BB4fking

So sad to see it close. Only discovered it for myself late last year and cursed all my prior wasted visits to Melbourne which hadn’t included Club 80. Visited Nud night - wow what a place, up there with Berlin’s Lab.oratory in my book. Also visited on a regular night, and while not as good as Nud night, took enough loads to make it a memorable night.

I should be in a pretty good position to fuck around, since I live the virus has been well controlled and all but eliminated, and yet I’m not yet getting any. The reasons are primarily ethical so I appreciate this thread. While the local cruise club where I usually give and take most loads hasn’t yet reopened (It couldn’t ever meet distancing requirements so will need to wait for those to be lifted) I could easily hook up on BBRTS or Grindr for while they were quiet on lockdown they’re busy again now - and I grew a beard on lockdown, my main accomplishment, so can try Scruff. My problem is my partner and this raises ethical as well as practical issues. He’s much older than me, not in good health and smoked most of his life so he’s one of the vulnerable groups. He’s said he’s scared of dying of this thing. He’s also become an armchair expert highlighting every risk - he’s pointedly mentioned risk of transmission in semen to me and my counter about the study being based on small samples and possibly non-infective remnants is met by his unearthing of additional studies. His latest casual comment to me is that it can be transmitted in sweat. I’m sceptical of the significance of a lot of this in the context of a country where the virus is under control and nearly eliminated in contrast to a place with rampant community transmission. So my first ethical issue is that I have to take into account his heath. The second relates to reconciling our vastly divergent perceptions of risk. Ethically it is problematic to simply disregard his opinions and sneak out and fuck around. That would be disrespectful and remove agency from him since I return to the house and in his mind put him at mortal danger. But if I simply accept his world view it removes agency from me. The only way I can see of seeking to resolve the issue is to talk the matter through and to seek agreement on when and how I get back to fucking around. Unfortunately as something of an introvert I am doubtful of my skills to navigate this successfully. I also fear he will want me to stay celibate until a vaccine appears! The next set of ethical issues are connected to my partner. He won’t let me host guys at home. That’s reasonable but it does mean that hygiene is not entirely in my hands but is dependent on a third party (e.g. showering, disinfecting surfaces or things). There’s also the other sex partner. I don’t have any stable fuck buddies (well I have one in another country, but that doesn’t help here). If I agree some boundaries with my partner (eg to shower, or use a mask, or select someone who is careful) I have to involve a third party in this. I suspect some guys will see my partner’s worries over risks as over the top and reject my hook up requests. That’s probably more a practical rather than an ethical issue but the ethical approach I think will be to be open at the outset and set some ground rules. I’m not actually a paragon of virtue. Sneaking around and fucking in what I consider a responsible and safe way is an option (eg no oral, doggy style, hand washing, masked). Unfortunately my partner has a keen sense of smell since he stopped smoking. In January he was away for the weekend and for the first and only time I picked up a hookup in my car, let him fuck me at home and drove him back to the train station. The following day my partner returned and confronted me about bringing someone home saying he could smell that I’d had someone there (it was hot and the young guy was in a tank top and a bit sweaty). He even shampooed the car seats, which may be down to the load starting to leak from me as I drove the guy back! my final ethical decision, if you can call it that, concerns condoms. In deference to my partner I think I might consider asking guys to use them if I’m bottoming. Probably won’t bother if I’m topping. I’m not sure on this one and will wait for what the best medical advice is.

A few cosmopolitan encounters I remember. With an airline gate staffer at Lima airport in the handicapped toilet. in some bushes at Berlin’s Tiergarten. Dunes at Lisbon’s beach 19. Took a hookup back to fuck in a Japanese-style capsule hotel in Sydney with people in pods a few feet below and beside us.

I’ve not had much luck with wearing a jockstrap in cruise clubs or saunas and have usually removed it after a while. So my experience seems different from everyone else who has replied. Possibly I’m not doing it right. It might also be because I’m versatile and find guys grabbing my cock and I feel obliged to fuck them (it’s only polite to do so).

It can be slightly distracting, in a charming way, when a dog or cat jumps up on the bed or wanders around in the background.

I have no preference, either is good. Where I am most guys are uncut so I do especially enjoy the variety when an occasional circumcised guy happens along or when I’m travelling.

Where I am it’s too early to tell if particular venues will close permanently but I share your concern. The saunas and cruise clubs were already in a bit of a downward spiral of lower turnout due to apps resulting in price rises which made it harder for many of us to afford going so often. Ten years ago my city of over 1 million had 5 saunas but now there are only two. I worry that soon there may be none.

That’s good to hear - make it affordable for more guys. When I was first on PrEP about 5 years ago I ordered supplies online and it was always generic (sourced from India I think). I can’t remember exact price but it was affordable, I think it was probably about US$100 for 3 months. Later I got onto a drugs trial which ran for 2 years and used Truvada, that was free. When the trial ended I filled the prescription locally as PrEP has been approved for the public health system in my country by then. As I fulfilled certain criteria as high risk (barebacker, bottom, previous STIs) the drug is supplied to me free. For a while I was prescribed Truvada but that changed after a couple of months to generic, which it has been for last 2 years or so. So other than the first year when I paid to buy generic PrEP online I’ve not paid anything for it for 4 years, sometimes Truvada and sometimes generic. I’ve never noticed any difference and haven’t altered my barebacking due to cost or drug type- I’ve tried to take as many loads in all permutations.

I’ve stopped hooking up or 6 weeks now and come off PrEP. I live with my partner (though we’ve not had sex for over 10 years) and he followed all the news sites and well before the lockdown he knew it was going to be bad. He picked a big argument with me when the first social distancing measures started saying I’d have to stop fucking around as I was putting him at risk. He reckoned that at his age (older than me) and having smoked most his life he was at high risk. So I stopped. Before the argument I had vague ideas of my own to go cruising one last time before lockdown and then sneak out for some one-on-ones I deemed safe (I even bought a box of condoms for first time in years as I imagined guys would ask for them) but didn’t do any of that after the argument and my partner’s pleas. I’m not sure how I’d have acted if we hadn’t had the argument or I lived alone but the social pressure made me a good boy anyway. Now I’m faced with a dilemma as we start to move out of lockdown. I haven’t sought my partner’s “permission” to fuck around before and we are probably going to have an awkward conversation some time, I can wait till it’s safer but am reluctant to leave it until a vaccine appears as lack of sex for a year or two will leave a big void in my life.

Nice idea. One problem where I live is that the Sexual health clinics are closed in lockdown and, while you can get tested at your your doctor or a lab, routine testing for some STIs is not available only testing when you’re symptomatic. I think that is because the authorities are keeping Lab capacity for Covid-19 testing and repurposing the throat swab test kits. As an aside it means that the requirements for getting PrEP prescriptions refilled have been relaxed requiring only blood tests for HIV and syphillis and not gonorrhoea and chlamydia. So on balance because of the need for reprioritising Lab resources it may not be quite as positive for reducing STIs as it might have been although the reduced amount of fucking around will have slowed transmission for the time being.

My foreskin fully retracts when I get hard so I don’t need to specifically pull it back to fuck. In the rare case that I’m only partly retracted (e.g. part way through sex I stopped to do something and went partly soft) the foreskin would be pushed back as soon as I entered an asshole. I have noticed a few guys I’ve sucked whose foreskins haven’t retracted, or haven’t retracted fully, when they’re hard - I’ve usually rolled the skin back as I prefer the feel of an exposed head while I’m sucking and if I can’t get the skin back (if it’s too tight) I usually stop sucking, not sure why but am a bit squeamish. In terms of being fucked I wouldn’t know what happens to the other guy’s foreskin.

I find taking lots of pictures helps since once you get a chance to check you may find many are out of focus due to movement, shaking hands or trying to hold the phone at weird angles.

I use an app called ‘Kountr’ which allows both to create categories of your own choosing (e.g. how often you top/bottom/breed etc.) and also what they call ‘dailies’ where you can mark days that meet some criteria (e.g. fucked). I paid a couple of extra bucks to have unlimited categories and password protection (against all prying eyes - including my partner’s!)

Over the last year I’ve tried expanding my sexual experiences with fisting someone and also having an anonymous hotel hookup blindfolded. My fantasy is next to try double-penetration. I don’t get a lot of opportunities for threesomes and was disappointed about 6 months ago when I ended up in a threesome but the host turned down the idea of DP as he didn’t thing the other guy would go for it. I’ve looked at videos and think I understand the basics: one top lies on his back and the bottom (me, hopefully) sits on his cock facing him (I think that’s called cowboy). Probably on the edge of a low bed or something similar. The other guy enters from behind and with some effort and lube pushes in above the cock already in the ass. In porn this is often achieved with little fuss in about 30 seconds but I suspect it could be technically quite trick. I’d be interested to hear how hard it is from guys who have done it top or bottom. Are there any tips? Do the tops need extra long cocks to be successful? Does the first top need to stay still or do both thrust? Can any experienced bottom do it or only, say, those used to fisting? I’d also like to hear what it’s like as either of the tops or the bottom. It looks really hot, does it feel extra good? Or is its main attraction the sense of technical accomplishment rather than feeling great?

Maybe the code needs to be brought into the 21st Century. Instead of hankies, phone covers perhaps? Or to be completely up to date, face masks.

Well my total hasn’t moved in 5 weeks and I can’t see any prospect of moment for a while. My total in early March wasn’t very impressive anyway. My ass is going to be pretty tight for the next guy to top me.

All the time i.e. in my case once every day. I’ve not had enough experience of it yet to know if there would be advantage in having extra on days you know you’re going to fuck.

I’ve not tried Pure for Men but after reading a similar thread on BZ, I started taking Metamucil about 4 months ago, initially as a powdered drink and later capsules to make it a bit easier and quicker to clean out for bottoming. I think it’s been good and reduced the amount of douching I used to do.

Condoms rarely arise these days. The guys I go with don’t seem to use them. To the extent that I influence their choice to go raw (and I think in fact they always go bare) it might be because I’m shown on apps as being on PrEP and when asked for pics I send barebacking ones. In bathhouses and clubs I communicate willingness to BB by body language fairly successfully and words are rarely needed.

Its frustrating, 5 weeks for me since my last fuck and I’ve had to cancel trips that had sex baked into them to Sydney, Bangkok, Taiwan and Japan. Jerking off much more than usual, to keep my cock in condition. Using the lockdown to grow a beard and hope that might increase my hookup chances later.

Its rare these days (pre-lockdown that is) that I find either tops or bottoms mention condoms much less negotiate their use. However, when they’re mentioned on a chat on an app I tell them I’m on PrEP. In person if condoms are raised again I tell them I’m ok with bare and remind them on PrEP. Very occasionally I’ve had someone ask what PrEP is though not recently. I don’t stealth and if condoms are expected I’ll wear them although I have sometimes asked to go raw part way through along session, occasionally that’s worked. I respect other guys’ choices though I’ve done my bit to introduce a few guys to bareback.

4 months ago on Grindr hookup at a hotel. The guy messaged me “how about waiting for me blindfolded, naked and ready to be fucked. No kissing. Just me coming in and plowing your hole”. I responded yes please! I’d never done this before but had fantasised. I hadn’t thought to bring a blindfold but with his agreement had my head in a pillow case. I never saw him but I asked about his cock which he said was 19 cm (almost 8”) and it certainly felt like it, though he kindly handed me his poppers under the pillowcase to help accommodate his deep thrusts. He used a condom, although I told him raw was fine, and grabbed the used rubber from the trash after he left and discovered a huge load. The whole thing was so hot I was planning to try again but the lockdown has prevented me so far.

That’s a good question. Maybe after lockdown but before full reopening they could allow couples in - only a few at a time to ensure proper distancing - to make homemade porn videos in a real bathhouse setting.

I’m not saying it’s unproblematic but In answer to the post’s question about “how” to reopen a bathhouse during or following a pandemic I’d expect a public health approach to require some methodology to assist with contact tracing. A refusal to attend a bathhouse because there’s a membership register ignores the fact that, as you say, it’s an existing US practice. To use the restaurant example, it is not dissimilar to a reservation system. The real difference would be compulsion on businesses to maintain a register (although it appears that this may be an existing legal requirement in the US) and to have it available if needed following an outbreak traced to someone who attended the bathhouse. If this system were implemented it would be desirable to have strong privacy and public health laws in place to ensure the information is protected and only used for the public health purpose of contact tracing. In the absence of legal protection a strong policy by the bathhouse business of confidentiality, except where needed for public health tracing, may suffice. There may be better, more privacy-protective, approaches possible but the register is a low tech, practical and traditional approach. Of course, unfortunately, my guess is that it is likely that bathhouses would be one of the last sort of businesses to get public health approval to reopen. Not for any reasons of morality but because of the necessary close bodily proximity of numerous strangers. I suspect they may have to wait until the virus is well under control - at least in those places where authorities are prioritising public health concerns over the desire of businesses to quickly reopen. Regrettably this may mean a comparatively long period of closure, which may be the death knell for some of our gay bathhouses. Maybe implementing credible processes to trace if needed will convince some authorities to permit earlier reopening.

For most of my life my frequent casual fucking, top and bottom, was with condoms. So much so I can remember the few times in the 1990s and early 2000s when I went raw. Topping I rarely went raw until the last 5 years. However, I did lapse once in a bathhouse about 15 years ago and it was so out of character I don’t really understand my actions. I hooked up in an open area with a young Asian guy. I seem to recall kissing, already out of character for me, and groping. He was just my type, boyish, hairless, slim, small, probably Japanese. I guided him into a room, got him on the bed on his back, took a hit of poppers and started rimming him something I hardly ever did then. Then I entered his ass with my cock, fucked and, surprising myself, did not pull out when I came. It was great but I felt terribly guilty although the guy didn’t mind, and he waved at me 20 minutes later when he left the bathhouse. I think the poppers lowered my inhibitions and his bubble butt and cute asshole just set me off. Bottoming, I remember visiting Sydney and the old King Steam and hooking up with a young guy in a room who kept losing his hard on with a condom. We tried and tried and eventually I let him fuck me raw, but not cum in me. Later we went to my hotel and he stayed overnight and fucked me a couple of times. He produced a pipe and wanted to smoke some pot which was a problem as it was a non-smoking room bar that’s a bit off point. Several years later I recall lying naked ass up in a cruise club room waiting for a top and attracting a good looking Arab guy. I proffered a condom but he sweetly persuaded me to let him bareback me, he had such a big cock I didn’t want to miss out. It wasn’t long after that I started BBing full time on PrEP.