leatherpunk16

I used to be like that. Now that I'm pushing 40, and my sex drive is way lower than it used to be, I find the loads are coming up fairly average. Sometimes there's a lot, other times it's just normal. I haven't figured out what causes it and why it fluctuates.

I grew up knowing I was gay, but never actually used anything other than jerking off for relief of sexual tension. I had my first blow at 17 with a neighbor friend, and though I wanted to get into some butt play, we never did. It wasn't until my third sexual partner that I had my chance at last. He was married, so strictly top because that's what he was used to. And I thought I would be a bottom, so we tried it. After a few unsuccessful attempts, we finally got there when I was 23, two years after we started sucking each other's cocks. It was late autumn of 2003, and I visited him at home one day after school. We went into his studio basement, and he bent me over a barstool while watching bestiality porn. He finally got it, and I had a quick flash of blackout. He fucked me good, and would have finished, but then there was a knock on his door. His student had arrived early, so we had to dress in a hurry, and as he was shoving me out the garage door, the student was coming in the front door. When I got home, my ass was bleeding. It stopped after a few hours. Later, he'd fuck me at my house, but always wanted condoms in case he had anything from the girls he was nailing on the side. But I'm not a bottom - most of the gay men in my town are bottoms, and the remaining tops aren't very well-endowed. So I have to make do with toys and non-local guys. Or be a top myself.

One of my favourite kinks! I first got into it with one of my fuckbuds in 2011. He was drunk and high as a kite one night, and while watching a German porn, we saw a guy take a fist. Jim looked at me with glassy eyes, and said, "Think you can do that to me?" I said I'd give it a try. I covered my hand in Crisco - yes, these guys used Crisco - and put it inside him. And we fist fucked for maybe 40 minutes. He loved it, but was so out of it from the substances that he forgot his safeword, and was rather numb to the world. I knew nothing about technique or pace or anything, so I just figured he'd tell me when he's had enough. I pulled my hand out when I couldn't take the pressure anymore, and I was *covered* in his blood. I wanted to start jerking off with the bloody hand, but I was scared to go to that length, and the thought that I really hurt him. I washed with a ton of Dawn dish soap very soon. When I inquired with him a couple days later, he said he felt fine, and wanted to do that again. And I've been fisting ever since. I did a major fisting star in Chicago just a couple weeks ago, and I'll tell you about that when the time is right.

I had a couple to play with for a little over three years from August 2009 to October 2012. They helped me explore my sexuality, and provided all kinds of naughty fun. But then they moved back to Texas, and within a year, one of them was dead from pancreatic cancer. I haven't seen the widow since, but we talked a few times. I miss them and those days.

Oh yeah, I haven't seen anything out of them in a while.

Punk wants to know what company this was.

You are quite correct, TIM does not do any testing. Or serosorting. I interviewed with them five years ago, and that last part was the most disconcerting part of the interview. The guy flat out told me this was so. From communicating with others in the biz, I've concluded that if you go into TIM porn, you are either already poz or looking to convert. You are not likely to go in neg and come out neg.

You're doing great, bbpig. Keep it going, but don't forget to mix it up. What makes a story good and interesting is conflict - problems for the characters to solve. PS - I am covered in tattoos, and there's no way a decent artist could accomplish all of Tony's ink in only two hours plus have time for the piercings. Even fiction has a limit. Otherwise, keep doing what you're doing. It got me boned up.

I'm a level 3. But most guys I play with are bottoms, so my risk is relatively low but not 100%.

After adding all this up, I'm only 158. That's more than I expected, but it was the 10-pointers that got me up there at the end. No worries. It's not about the score, but the fun you had in getting it.

I think maybe he meant you and me.

Hey, welcome back! I too am returning to the porn world in the coming year. I've already got a couple things lined up, and one in the works. Hoping to make a better go of things on this second round.

You sound a lot like me. I'm looking over the fence these days, and the logical part of my brain tells me not to do this. But my dick is super hard just thinking about what a weapon I have here, and all the fun things I can do with it once it's charged up. I am not actively chasing, but my subconscious appears to be. The angel on my shoulder is protecting me from going there, but the devil on the other shoulder is jacking off to the idea of pursuit. It's a disease, bro. You may have the benefit of great sex, but why can't one enjoy that without getting sick from it? You enjoy being sick? I don't. I don't do well with sick, because when I'm down with a flu or whatever, I barely function. It takes away from your life and things you'd much rather do. On BZ, we talk about getting pozzed like it's this wonderful thing, and while it improves the sex life of many, there are many many more who wish they didn't have it and the medical bills that come with it. And the stigmas that still exist. The stories in the fiction section are just that - stories. That's not how real people live. You don't have to be a character in one of them, no matter how glamorous their lives seem.

I can tell you from personal experience that the porn world can be brutal. People will say, "Comes with the territory," but that's no excuse for being horrible to others. It is a business, and that means you be a professional and good to the people who support the kind of work you do. I walked out on one of my shoots because the director was so abusive. Like, verbally and mentally abusive to the point that I couldn't concentrate, I couldn't stay hard, and I couldn't perform. No amount of criticism has ever positively inspired someone to do better. In any field, or in personal relationships. Let me tell a story. When I was a cam model for Randy Blue, I had a guest one night who was so entertained by my show that he asked me to shoot for him. In my biography, I renamed him Yves, so that's the name I'll use here. Yves is the director for a minor studio that does both gay and straight porn on the east coast. He sent me a private message after my show on RB, and asked if I'd be interested in shooting at his studio in the spring. Of course, I accepted, but when I did my research on the studio later, I found that their content was not very popular, and it was web-based only. There was also no budget for it. Naturally, this gave me pause, but I went ahead with it, believing that I needed to get my feet wet somehow. After we had signed the agreement, Yves asked me to cam for him also. Looking to expand my market, I accepted this, and joined a very popular cam site. This proved to be a fatal mistake. In three months of working for Yves on his site, I made a whopping sixty-two dollars. It was laughably pathetic. I would work my ass off for three or four hours three times a week and make very little money. I also didn't like that the site recorded my private shows to resell to third parties, a fact I didn't know about beforehand. And of course, things went wrong. Some of the shows were simply not good; one time the camera froze up; another time the connection was shit. The weaker shows I could hide, but the ones that I couldn't hide - due to a limit on how many can be hidden - were laid bare to everyone to see and spend good money on. And I wasn't paid for these either. I had trouble getting people in my room, and getting them to stay. I did my best to acknowledge people as they arrived, and tried to come up with interesting shows for public view, but my resources were quickly exhausted. I found myself quite frustrated with the lack of progress, so I posted in the help forums for advice on what I might do. Other models accused me of whinging when I didn't think I was, and offered practically nothing in the way of support. I would occasionally get passive-aggressive texts from Yves the night after a show. Some choice memories: - Nice to see you working on Randy Blue last night. - Don't mention RB on your shows. That sounds like a redirect and makes us look bad. - You need to show more more dick. [sic] - Your show sucked last night. How to improve it is up to you. After several weeks of this, Yves told me "I have deleted your whiny posts in the forum. That's not what this site is about. Is it okay if we postpone your shoot a month? I can't devote the time to you right now, and your scene partner won't be available again until July." I was not happy about it. He slapped my hand, cheated me out of my earnings, and cancelled my shoot. I later found out that he was lying. My shoot was supposed to occur over IML weekend, but not at the event. He didn't have the time to do it. But when I got back, I found several stills of a film they shot over the weekend with different models. Inquiries to the models verified that Yves had indeed lied to me. He sent me a cheque, saying "Most models make this in one night." I told him, "Most models have managers who don't lie to them and treat them like an option instead of a priority, especially when they've made an official agreement." When I asked to reschedule the shoot in July, he told me "You're not worth my time. Give up." I simply said, "Ditto." After receiving the cheque, I deposited it immediately, and then told him, "You're a fucking joke. You lied to me about my shoot, you had no ideas for improving my shows except that I should just figure it out, and you used me in ways that are beneath a professional standard. When you figure out that what you did was wrong, you'll let me know. I suspect I'll be waiting a long time." And I never heard from Yves again. I continue to be astonished that some of these porn producers have no respect for their models: they underpay them, they treat them as expendable even though they are NECESSARY to complete their projects, they disrespect them both publicly and privately, and while they have strong artistic vision, they lack business sense and integrity.

I have not had the pleasure of WS after sex. As a guy who is mostly a top, I can't switch the plumbing over to urinate after cumming. It just doesn't happen for a while, which I find really disappointing. Hasn't ever been done to me, either.

Look up Shannon O'Feral. That's my new porn name. I follow back newcomers and guys with interesting content.

I had been playing with this couple on a regular basis, and one night, the piggy one (Jim) pulled me into his bathroom. He sat me down in his shower, told me to be still, and let out a weak stream of piss that barely got to me. It was certainly warm, and smelled a little smoky. The next time we played together, I asked him to repeat it. He did, and it was better. He let loose on my face and chest, so I lowered my head and got a real golden shower. I loved it! Couldn't get enough after that, but his piss seldom lived up to the expectation. Later, piss became one of my kinks. When I met my late husband, I knew this dude was kinky. So for our third date, I took him to a monthly piss party. He met a cute Asian gymnast, and when the gymnast pulled his dick out, Mark thought "He wants me to suck it." NOPE! Mark got a mouthful of piss, and swallowed. Then he came to tell me what he did. I was drunk, so I shouted to the others at the party that a first-time visitor just got his first yellow load. No fanfare. Not one real response. Later, I was so drunk that I raped Mark at the bar. We moved to the cage and fucked, and these two men watched us from both sides. In true porn star fashion, I came all over Mark's chest. The two guys washed it off with their piss before Mark could taste it. He was so mad. A week later, he asked me to marry him. <3