rock-cock-jock

Oh man, never realized how much behind the scenes work was required. Kinda wish there was a trusted community group or something that just did this instead of relying on trust though. Haha if only

@ErosWired Oh yes, that's a very fair assessment of a shade of my personality. It's not like 'asshole' mode just emerged out of nowhere. I'm not at all perfect, and even though I generally try to be a good person, there are definitely dark twisted spots in my personality. I definitely have a cruel streak that I think is related to a certain aggressive sex frame of mind - I can't describe it well but I'm sure there must be guys here that can relate to it and are more self aware than I am. And you're right, but as much as I'd like to be a kinder and more sympathetic person, if I'm being completely honest, I am very selfish, incredibly so, and it's not accidental that I prioritised my own sexual gratification over the well being of anon btm and viking dude. On a fundamental level, I think that a basic hookup is supposed to be an arrangement based on mutual benefit, with clear expectations of how things are supposed to go and expectations of how the other person looks to some degree. Anon dude definitely misrepresented these expectations so I do think resentment on my part is understandable. Pic faking is hardly rare but I still don't take kindly to it and perhaps if anon btm was clearer and more honest with communicating expectations, I'd be more understanding and react less psychopathically. And oh yeah, I definitely had some creative license with this, in reality, things werent as extreme as I made them out to be but the main story really happened though albeit less intense, maybe 70-80% true. I think a certain amount of creative embelishment for this kind of thing is acceptable to make it more interesting It's because it felt to be such a bizaare series of events from what I'm used to, even though objectively the sex was still on the relatively tame side that I wanted to write it down, even though I knew clearly it didn't show me in a good light and some ppl would probably hate it. I can't help the elaborate prosaic style, that's just how it comes out and I'm too lazy to edit it. And if you perhaps think that this annoyingly wordy style stems from a complicated and needlessly overthinking personality, then you'd indeed be very correct.

@ErosWiredAll good man, I always appreciate your input and the thought you put into it, even though you're often very critical of me xD Yes, I know, I'm weird. So, I dunno when it started but I've realized that alot of the time when I hookup, my brain just starts doing this thing automatically where I build a rough fictional story, more like an impression really, of the person based on just a couple random things I might notice about their appearance or clothes or pics or whatever and then, during fucking, I kinda pull up the rough impression of the fictional story in my head and kinda just use it to be more immersed in the moment and to enjoy the sex better. By kind of having that impression of the guy in my head, it makes me crave his cock and cum moreso because they're kinda like trophies you might collect but are connected to that sort of slice of life that he comes from. Y'know how sex is just better when it's with a guy that you have a great connection with? Well, this is kinda like faking a connection to play up the fantasy side of things and make the mental part of sex a bit more interesting. Definitely a self-imposed mind game for myself and probably not something normal people do I realize. But trust me, give it a try and you'll def find it makes the sex funner. Regarding the faking of stats and pics, no, there was definitely an obvious difference. Well, the stats were probably the same except for his weight but the pics must have definitely been a few years old and had him looking way more attractive with good skin, a healthy looking body etc. I personally don't think it is acceptable to misrepresent yourself on a hookup site because the thought process is basically a deceitful one, of something like, 'maybe hookup guy wont notice my body flaws that I removed and enhanced by photoshop and, if he does, so what, there's a chance we'll still have sex because he's already here, and even if worst case scenario he does call me out and leaves, no big deal, I'll just find someone else on grindr.' I on the other hand, spent 40 min driving into the city (plus gas) under a certain impression he portrayed and even discounting my weird backstory habit on my perception of things, stats and pics speak for themselves and I don't think we need to delve into the grey zone here at all to recognize that he lied about his profile. I accept your criticisms of my being irritated at these small things and you're right, I was being petty, but, you have to understand, on that day, I was stressed out with some other personal and family things going on at the time and when I'm stressed out, my tolerance level just plummets. Perhaps I could have been more empathetic and understanding towards the anon btm, especially since I can relate to anon cumdumping as well, but, I was in a dark mood that day, and when stressed out, I like things done a certain way, and get irritated if they don't. I love the anon fetish (no, really, like a lot) and am very aware of the layout when I'm topping as anon. I expect certain basic essential things, including but not limited to a certain degree of darkness, someone on the bed waiting ass up face down rdy to get fucked and minimal social interaction, preferably none at all (it's probably because of my social anxiety, but the lack of social interaction is a major reason I love the anon fetish so much) and Maybe I'm being too inflexible but even now when I'm typing this and not in a stressed out mood, I can't help but be irked remembering the expectation of things going a certain way, only to gradually deviate with small things that progressively add up. I definitely wasn't in a calm and emotionally stable frame of mind that morning, that's for sure. But even Regarding the butt hair and his hole looseness, yeah, obviously everyone has their own preferences and I wasn't making any absolute proclamations on how good they are or anything. I referred to them from my own perspective, which is simply that I prefer body hair and that I prefer tight holes to fuck. And if these implicate perceived fault to the anon btm, so what? It's inconsequential because these things are a matter of personal preference and it's valid to state as such, the same way it's valid for people to voice their preference for hair color or eye color or any other arbitrary body trait that influences our individually variable perception of attractiveness. So, I think it perfectly acceptable to assert my dislike of shaved skin and loose holes upon experiencing them. Regarding loose holes, I think I'm justified in my dislike because it's rooted in the fact that quite simply, it made sex not feel good, i.e there wasn't adequate stimulation on my dick when fucking to feel pleasurable or to get me into it. That's how I honestly feel about it. It sucked, it felt like warm pudding. Should I then feel remorse for my treatment of the anon btm? Perhaps, though going through my actions, I was like a 2/10 on the mean scale, fairly negligible, and as for my thoughts and criticisms of things, they came from an honest place and I feel unapologetic about communicating them candidldly as to how I saw things at the time.

It depends. Going to the bathhouse here in YYC is hit or miss in terms of scoring a hot guy to breed. It's also pretty expensive here with membership plus room rate. If in terms of cost savings, for exactly the same amount of money, you could book a cheap motel room and line up loads way more comfortably, efficiently and reliably by advertising your anon session on grindr, doublist, scruff, etc You can even get lucky and score some unbelievably hot guys (yes, I sneak a peek out the window to check out some of my breeders.) I like the bathhouse, have been many times and I consider it as basically a gay institution, a tradition. But, comparing the two, you're far more likely to hook in good tops that knows how to fuck going the anon route than taking a chance at the bathhouse. There have been more than a couple times that I went to the bathhouse intending to slut it up only to find nobody there except the keepers of the crypt. To be fair, there have sometimes been unexpectedly hot surprises at the bathhouse but it's few and far between, and more often than not I leave thinking that that was a waste of money. If you're really on a budget and you just want man cum inside you, cruising parks and understall is also a free very viable alternative. The only exception to all of this though is when there are certain special events at the bathhouse that are just not comparable to a grindr. For example, visiting porn star event, cumunion, sometimes different themes like asian night, bears, leather gear, blackout etc that provide a unique experience that can sometimes be really fun depending on the number and energy of the guys showing up for them.

I got an anon confession to make. Forgive me bareback brothers for I have sinned. Earlier today, I walked in and fucked an anon bottom in a seedy motel...and faked my cumshot so I could leave and breed someone else 10 feet away. Yes, I'm not proud of it but there it is. Penance? He had messaged me the night before on Squirt with some stats and pics I have no resistance towards, i.e. what seemed to be, a straight dl masc musc hairy chested married guy with a beefy butt and thick thighs taking loads anon. This hits all of my weak points and it's just a free pass to by Squirt buddies list of grindr favorites. However, walking into the dimly lit (not dark as it should be :/) motel room, I was a little pissed because he clearly faked his pics and stats - even in the dim light, from his side profile, he looked nowhere like the image I had built up in my head. I have an overactive imagination and I was visualizing from his pics a 40s brown haired married dad that works a construction job, has football buds on the weekend to drink beer with and maybe coaches a hockey team or something, or y'know, whatever community type social thing closeted suburban straight dads do with their free time (in public anyway) in pleasantville. Importantly, the light vellous hair across his butt cheeks that I was looking forward to rubbing my face against while eating him out was SHAVED - my disappointment was visceral. Despite that, I considered that 1) it's not the first time I've been tricked, 2) it'd taken me 40 min to drive into the city after all and gas is fucking expensive. 3) I was horny, Prepped up and rdy to deposit some sperm in whatever willing man hole I could find in the middle of a work day 4) tbh, in an anon scenario under the righT conditions, I'll basically even fuck a small woodland creature (just hyperbole, not promoting beast stuff). So whatever, this fake fucker can have my load if he wants but it was def gonna be a rough selfish fuck with some good ol humiliation verbal mixed in, to sate my mean streak. This all passed through my mind in milliseconds as I walked in and looked around the dimly lit room but my attention was far more directed on the tall white 30s ginger hot nerd business casual guy that seemed to be the breeder scheduled before me. He was zipping up his dress pants and he was clearly packin, like third leg kinda packin. We made eye contact and I gave him the 'I want to fuck your brains out' stare. He grinned, groped my cock (unfortunately soft atm) and groaned, but to my disappointment said that he had to run. Oh well. C'est dommage. I was still by the door, my boots still on checking out ginger dude's snug butt in his dress pants as he was leaving and I barely even registered the anon faker btm unzipping my jeans and flipping out my cock to suck it. 'Is this even anon anymore?' I wondered, 'so much for ass up face down and no fucking face contact.' This wasn't married Pleasantville coach dad, this was a tired strung out whore who partied too much, lost a ton of muscle mass and neglected to look after his body. This is why traditional anon is superior - because reality is often a turn off. 'Get on the bed whore. Did that guy just shoot a load inside you?' I grunted. I honestly hate talking during anon sex or any sort of direct interaction - spoils the vibe for me and sometimes some guys' voices turn me off, especially if they sound female. I mean, I'm fine with fucking naturally fem acting and sounding guys but some guys proactively push toward an extreme feminine aesthetic and I find hearing an unnaturally high pitched valley girl accent when I'm ready for man sex a bit off putting (probably gonna get alot of backlash for saying that). 'Yes sir,' he replied as he got onto the bed and positioned himself face down ass up 'it was a big load too.' 'Mmmmmmm, score. Time for my consolation prize.' I thought as I started eating out his hole and tasting ginger business casual guy's fresh warm cum. Fucking love being piggy like this, especially when I can remember the guy's features and imagine connecting him with the cum load I was licking out greedily, which was kinda like slightly salty aloe vera with an ass smell. I noticed that the hole, aside from being sloppy, was noticeably loose and some rosebudding happening but didn't think anything of it. Done with felching out whatever cum I could, I slapped his butt, got up and pushed his shoulders down, moved up closer and with one knee bent, aimed my cock head straight into his hole. I immediately noticed it. His hole was so loose there was virtually no resistance going in. It also felt wet and just voluminous. I didn't like it. I thought to myself irritatedly, 'this motherfucker not only fakes me out, he's not even gonna clench'. I thought anon cumdumps acquire the skill automatically at an early level without having to grind too much experience but I guess some missed it. His hole was so loose I couldn't cum. Took a hit of poppers but the bloodrush didn't amount to much with the stimulation of my cock being just clearly inadequate. To be fair, it might not be faker anon btm's fault; perhaps he had an injury or something; or ginger business casual dude irreversibly stretched out his ass muscles like the waistband of old boxer briefs where they just hang off and have lost any elastic hugging ability. I will admit, I could have forced a breeding if I really wanted to by jerking off with my hand then popping back inside, but I think, as guys who top grow older, at least for me, you can't help but be a bit more selfish and selective about your first breeding of the day, especially if you save up a bit, because subsequent cumshots just don't feel as good and compared to the primal rut of the first nut, you're just not into it as much. I also could have just said that I'm not feeling it and left but maybe it was the way things progressed non-anon style but I now felt a social expectation to deliver, and resolve things so to speak, much to my chagrin. I feel like I broke the bbbh rules or something but I might as well have been fucking warm dilute pudding with my dick; I could almost hear my dick frantically crying out for a tighter grip or there will be mutiny, the flaccid kind. Honestly, at that point, I was in asshole mode and hatefucking the bottom roughly hoping to trigger some sort of sphincter closing, but no luck, just pudding. I thought to myself 'Fuck this' then went on Grindr while fucking him and noticed a tap by a guy 30 feet away, maybe a motel employee or another guest. Blond, hairy, otter in his 30s, Viking-like but more lanky, and had an easy going, casual stoner vibe. Fuck yeah, I wanted to be inside his hole, instead of this glutinous pudding, and I wanted my swimmers inside him trying their hardest to impregnate his Viking-like anal cavity. While fucking, unbeknownst to the unresponsive bottom, I texted: Me: Hey. Want a load? <sent face pic> Him: You're hot man! Yah, but no time. Just on my lunch break. Me: Make some time. I'm in the parking lot of ***. Meet me by my car *** in 5min Him: Got a nice cock? Me: 6.5uc <2 cock pics sent> Him: Fuck nice. Ok, I can only blow you though, not rdy for anal. Meet me in the backseat of your car and I'll blow you there. Me: All good. 5 min. 'Alright, time to finish up here.' I thought as I looked down at the btm with all the resentment that had been building up from him faking his stats/pics, fucking up the anon scenario and not clenching. To be honest, I'm really not this kind of guy 99% of the time - not into inflicting pain or being hurtful or being so extremely dom to the point of degrading my partner's self worth. But, I was in a mood today, that's for sure, (like how you might see guys in the marines 'flip the switch' and go all hardcore and intense) and for whatever reason, I vented my anger with the full intention of going full steam ahead with this asshole dom top persona I found myself channeling. I took a quick vid of me hate fucking the btm to send to my friend despite the bad lighting (wish Android had night vision so I could capture my anon fucks in the dark), just as another thing I felt to be in-keeping with the momentum of my disdain. I then grunted, 'gonna cum' then pretended to shoot five heavy cum shots with Oscar-level acting skills, or whatever the porn version is, accentuated by five heavy thrusts into him as he moaned and tried to pull my hips in deeper. I sighed, pulled out, quickly started putting on my clothes eager to be done with this charade, responded politely with a thank you then headed out, my cum still deep in my balls. When lanky Viking-like dude arrived, I wasn't waiting in the backseat of my car to his surprise. I was leaning against it watching him because I know I look more imposing when standing with my pecs and shoulders poppin - you see, I needed the bonus points to my charisma stats because I had no intention of getting just a blowjob, of course, I planned on breeding his hole. Plus, I was still in asshole mode and my subconscious was already planning out a forceful entry scene as a last resort (just wordplay, I don't condone rape). I nodded toward a small alleyway crevice towards the back of the motel that was kinda secluded. I had pissed earlier in a corner of this crevice while waiting for compact Viking-like dude to show up and thought to myself, yes, this sketchy crevice suits my sketchy mood. Coincidentally it was right beside the back window of the room I just left - curtains were drawn though, understandably. I could see the hesitation and uncertainty in his face, but lust won over and he nodded. Got him! I leaned against the alleyway wall and pulled out my cock. I made sure it was hard and the head was purple and swollen before he came. You see, I think a hard cock has a hypnotic effect. If this little blonde fish wasn't fully reeled in, sight of a hard cock is the net to snag him. Sure enough, I watch his eyes travel down, not a second before he's on his knees an away he goes; I watch as he worships my cock, licking and slobbering over it, and I wonder if he can taste anon bottom's ass juice or any of ginger business casual's leftover cum. I leaned my head back against the alley wall, eyes closed as I took a moment to savor the moment, the adrenaline rush of being possibly watched by motel guests from their rooms, of being possibly caught by motel workers or random people passersby if they looked toward the crevice at a certain angle. I took a deep breath smelling the acrid stench of my hot piss in the corner of the crevice, my own personal bit of aesthetic to this grubby little crevice, and enjoying the feeling of his warm lips bobbing up and down my shaft. I luxuriated in that decadent feeling of depravity as it washed over me and let it inspire a primal sort of lust from the dirty, stinking sketchiness of this alleyway crevice. It made me want to rut, like animals in heat, like alleyway dogs that unhesitatingly give into instinct to mate on the filthy ground. Dirty, sordid, disgusting, debased and fucking glorious. I pulled up lanky Viking dude, kissed him deeply savoring the swap of our spit, removed our shirts, then moved behind him and pressed him firmly face first toward the alley wall. He was looking nervous as he sensed me move toward a kneeling squat to eat his hole out. 'Stop, no, it's dirty' he said nervously while clenching his ass cheeks. 'Just relax,' I replied in a soothing tone, such as one might use to soothe a skittish horse, 'it's ok, just trust me. It doesn't bother me. I want to eat your hole out. Just relax and let me in. It'll be fine.' And he did. He released and I went straight in with my tongue as turgid and as pointed as I could make it. I don't think he expected the sudden intrusion but I was persistent and pigged out on that hole. I fucking love the smell of man sweat and ass. It's so raw and intimate. Breathing deep, I could smell the healthy masculine sweat of a honest hardworking man along with a ripe musky aroma that is just a completely raw and honest manifestation of his maleness, and also, along with this aroma is the knowledge that it is a deeply personal zone of his that is kept private usually but is now the target of your exploration and ravaging in the most carnal sense. Then I stealthily and quick stuck my index finger deep inside him and he panicked. Although I hate fingering, I think inserting a finger is probably the most psychologically effective strategy for swaying a butt-fuck hesitant bottom. I think implicitly, it sends a message that you've just intruded into his territory, it's done and penetration has happened in this small degree, so from now on, because there's this precedent of invasion, it's easier to tease toward butt fucking because the groundwork has already been laid. Of course, for cock hungry sub bottoms, like I suspected lanky Viking dude to be, this just speeds things up, basically prompting a thought like 'Oh fuck, well, we've reached this far. Might as well conveniently forget my reservations on mess and just go with the flow. I really do want his cock inside me after all.' I kept my finger in and gently but forcefully stopped him from moving by pressing his back against the wall. I held position until he relaxed and then I leaned in and pulled his face to me and kissed him deeply with my finger immobile but still deep inside. As I felt him melt into me, I removed my finger and replaced it with my cock head wedged right at his opening. I believe in open and straightforward communication so I told him matter of factly in a whisper 'I want to breed you. I don't care if there's a mess and I've got paper towels in the car if you need to cleanup before going back to work.' He didn't reply but I could feel him pushing back onto my cock. I understood that to be a green light, pushed into him and gave into the asshole dom top mood that had been waiting on the sidelines. Oh god, his ass felt amazing, warm and tight and dare I say, almost virginal, though he probably had to be a far cry from that for him to find himself slutting it up like an animal in a disgusting alleyway being bred by a stranger in the most disgusting and demeaning way. It wasn't my proudest top moment tbh, I fucked him selfishly, quickly and urgently. It was painful for him, I didn't use lube and I don't think my rimming lubricated him enough. Still, I was an asshole and persisted with fucking, soft whimpers and groans falling on ears deaf with lust. The standing angle was awkward to fuck his hole so I grabbed his hair, pushed his head down and bent him over forcefully to get my thrusts in deeply. At some point I realized that my pounding was pushing us both out of hiding from the corner. Perhaps I went too far with this, but caught up in the moment and my liking for risk, I pushed him out into full view of the parking lot, naked, head held bent over with me fucking him bare. There were people in sight, none aware of what we were doing, yet. He was still bent over face down and I don't think he realized that he was in public view and that he'd been roped into my perverted exhibitionist fantasy. There was a low metal railing nearby that I inched us towards and bent him over. This was a good position, he felt tight and I could feel myself getting ready to cum. I gave him a heads up that I was gonna cum soon and, in a moment of twisted inspiration, I grabbed his hair and yanked his face up so he could see that he was in full view of the open parking lot. When I yanked him up, I felt him tense up, perhaps in fright at this public indecency. His tensening of his body also tightened the grip on my cock and it pushed me over the edge. I growled 'I'm cumming. Oh fuck oh fuck.' and started shooting my load into him. It felt so good holding him tight as I spasmed and couldn't help but think to myself 'Holy shit. Fucking worth it'. I could feel the warmth of his body, his breathing and could hear him mutter softly 'oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck' repeatedly. Looking down, I realized that he had shot his load from tugging his cock at some point, leaving thick splatters of white cum spread against the pavement and railing, tantalizing gobs that I would have been tempted to lick up before cumming but now restrained by reservations of germs, hygiene and a gradual mental reboot of socially accepted behavior. For a few intimate seconds, I held him tight, his back pressed into my chest, skin against skin, without letting him budge, my cock still impaling him and his cock still completely exposed to the parking lot and street. I'm sure he could feel my heart beat rapidly (yes, my cardio is absolute shit) against his back from that workout as I savored the post coitus sense of relief, which quickly turned into alarm, as a passing Ford F150 blared its horns repeatedly, honking loud attention catching blasts, presumably at us, in a rhythm that seemed taunting and high spirited. With its windows down, I could see three college looking kids laughing and whooping, as I pulled my cock out, released my grip and we beelined it back to the alleyway crevice while we both pulled our jeans and underwear up to quickly cover our cocks. Lanky viking dude didn't stop running. I watched as he booked it around the entire back alleyway before emerging on the far side of the parking lot, clothes back on and walking quickly. As I quickly got into my car and started it up, I had a thought of 'oh shit, what the fuck did I just do', you could have been arrested or fined for public indecency/exposure, you're lucky no one called the cops. Exiting the parking lot, I nodded to him in passing but was ignored. He's blocked me on grindr since. I do regret it, and I'm probably a monster to him, but I can't help but be turned on by the memory flashes of rawdogging his tight dirty hole and breeding him in the middle of the day while exposed in a parking lot, a situation that snowballed from my irritation at an anon btm who doesn't clench and who I pretended to cum inside.

Guys who moan and comment like a bad porno. It'd be totally fine if a moan or groan came out naturally or if they said something that came from an authentic place. But, it annoys the hell out of me if a guy suddenly goes "mmm harder harder" in a really camp voice or pops in one of those meaningless porn sound effects. It just feels fake to me all of a sudden and it's become less about the sex and more about playing out a scene. I've become meaner in my old age though - now I just tell guys to shut the fuck up 😅

sure. message me a mailing address and I'll mail you a load if you want mine

Yeah, that's a fair point and I think ostracism from relatives for being gay is hardly uncommon. But I still think that incorporating a serious relationship partner into a family and friend circle is an important and necessary milestone. I realize that navigating the dynamics is difficult (especially if some of them believe that gays: 1) will all burn in hell because, y'know, religion. 2) are all child molesters 3) will spread their hiv from sharing toilet seats etc etc) but family and friends are likely the two tightest social support networks in a person's life and I feel like if you're in love with a serious romantic partner, they need to be a part of that network in a meaningful way as well. That's how it is for straight relationships and that's how it should be for any other sexuality. I don't think I'm being too unrealistically idealistic in pushing for it; indeed, if gays keep avoiding it, normalizing that standard will just keep getting delayed. And yeah, there might be conflict but if 'family' and 'friends' can't accept that, hard decisions might need to be made on who are really family (and not just biologically linked) and who are really friends (and not just acquaintances), especially if some of them are toxic on the issue and affect your mentality and your relationship. On a more abstract level, I feel like the people who you choose to surround yourself with and the dynamics you have with them are all a representation of who you are as a person. And also a part of one's growth as a person is how socially capable and embedded you are with friends/community/professional relationships etc. So yeah, I do think that it's a legit relationship need for the social worlds of two partners to be able to fit somewhat cohesively. I think the folks in our niche of proclivities should be given due credit. Social stigma aside, being a slut requires many many repetitions and hours of hard labour. Isn't that the basis of becoming a skilled tradesman or a specialized expert? But yeah, I'm probably an extremist on this issue though because I believe all aspects of a healthy relationship are connected organically on a biological level stemming from good sex. <mini rant> That's why I think that ppl in sexless relationships/marriages trying to force it with rando strategies like a kid or a pet or counselling or guilt tripping or whatever are just doomed to failure or end up with a meaningless shell. A relationship is something that happens from the bottom up (pun!) not the top down. I think a lot of the social dynamics and compatibility are affected by the raw interchange of pheromones and oxytocin as well as the conditioning of all the neurotransmission going on too. If you're not having sex, address it head on and figure out the root causes and not just try to patch things up with excuses like, 'oh it's just age', or 'this is just how it is' or just straight on denial. Here's some blunt advice - got a limp dick? get ed pills and ask your doctor to help diagnose. no libido? go check your blood work make a list of possible reasons and talk to your doctor. hormones out of whack? see an endocrinologist and get hormone replacement. got fat and not attractive anymore? set a diet and exercise plan and stick to it. Obviously it can be more complicated than that but my point is it's vital to be proactive on prioritizing good sex as a required resource of a relationship, otherwise it'll starve.

This might sound crazy but I've always thought that Maslow's hierarchy of needs (attached) is also applicable for the outcomes that one could want out of a relationship. The lower tiers shouldn't be considered less important, but more oriented toward the hedonistic while the higher are more oriented toward the mental. 1) At the base level is good sex- it's foundational to everything and should be what you build the relationship on at the beginning. The pyramid will topple if the foundation is weak. 2) Next, rather than 'safety,' I think 'stability' is a better term with the idea being that there is enough mutual affection to reliably be there for each other to satisfy any physiological needs for intimacy, companionship and all those lovey dove bond type things. Stable, like a rock. 3) Next, is the requirement to fit the relationship into your pre existing friendship circle and family which will vary from person to person but will generally require mutually compatible values and personalities. 4) Next, I think that a healthy relationship should be one where your partner makes you feel better about yourself i.e. supports your self esteem and sense of respect. Conversely, a toxic partner, like toxic friends, will just drain you of your sense of self like Wormtongue in Lord of the Rings where the king's mind was poisoned with just words. 5) This for me is the ideal - to have a partner that quite simply makes you a more awesome person. Everyone has different ideas of what they would ideally like to accomplish in life, whether it's a job thing, a body thing, a mind thing, combination of all, whatever, and the partner, whether it's through connections or past experiences or just a proactive attitude, just makes it happen. I also think that the pursuit and accomplishment of all these different needs will scale depending on your growth as a person (as well as your partner's growth). That's why, I feel like you should never stop pushing yourself to be better because the meaning that you find via the things that you accomplish in your relationship will be that much better. Maybe I'm a hopefully romantic but this is how I want things to be.

Depression is probably a legit thing in that industry on a whole, even discounting drug use. I mean, it can't be easy for them off screen. Times are changing but society still looks down on people who do sex work and there aren't exactly a lot of openly accessible useful mental health resources for people in general for sex/drugs related depression. Even though I've never been in that industry, I feel like this is a completely unfair bias tbh. If it was treated like any other industry, especially on a work culture and policy level, I'm willing to bet porn stars would live longer, happier and mentally healthier lives.

congrats guys 🙌

My favorite hypno vid: [think before following links] https://newtumbl.com/x_jkCIFdsbKQZ5

@Midsslut Really interesting post, thanks for sharing. However, maybe I'm just being picky but for the reddit poster to dedicate 24 weeks of his life to this and then to not even measure it quantitatively, I'm just kinda like wtf. We're just supposed to go off of these arbitrary assessments of 'NO', 'somewhat noticeable', 'definitely noticeable', etc? He should have had a negative control of no treatment for comparison to estimate the natural variability of his cum volume tbh because we cant be sure his observations are significant or just within the realm of normal day to day variability. He could have just weighed it with a kitchen microscale every time, logged it in excel and charted it so we could see the time course for each and his 24 weeks would have been meaningful. Having said that, pygeum looks the most interesting. I dont know the mechanism atm but seems worth looking into just based on Reddit comments. L-arginine, zinc and lecithin seem more inclined to show an effect if you're deficient, which based on the reddit poster's profile of being a serial fapper, is very possible. L-citrulline has also been found to be more bioactively available and cost effective as a nitric oxide precursor than L-arginine since post date 7 years ago. Also, rather than lecithin (which I'm presuming is for choline supplementation), citicoline or alpha-GPC are much more bioactive nootropics and it's possible that lecithin may be tied to toxic TMAO production in the gut (not conclusive). Regarding zinc, we all should be supplementing anyways during covid times- it's cheap, boosts passive and active mucosal immunity and importantly it's a necessary cofactor in the 5 alpha reduction of testosterone to DHT. As for what works, clomid (clomiphene citrate) is well established to improve semen volume and is what is regularly prescribed for male infertility when couples are trying to get pregnant. It diminishes libido but significantly improves semen volume and sperm quality. Apparently vitamin E (or similar hydrophobic antioxidant) and carnitine when used concurrently with clomid show improved levels as well. [think before following links] https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/20845296/ [think before following links] https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19268928/

I'm gonna push back on that gently with some hopefully constructive criticism. I'm going to assume you may have had some lower back damage or something because our spines are naturally supposed to be slightly anterior tilted primarily for load bearing purposes. So, there are 2 reasons I know of why they're doing that: 1) depending on the angle, you could be pushing his cock out. Conversely, arching your back will allow deeper penetration. A lot of the time if the bottom is not used to bottoming and is in pain, the instinctive movement is to retreat from the pain by rounding the spine and decrease the space down there. The angle is also much harder for the top to enter from. It's also not as pleasant to top a btm in that position tbh as it's harder to get a nice grip . So yeah you might think you're doing more by being in a comfortable position for you but that's a really disadvantageous position. If your back is hurting, there might be other poses you could try or maybe lie down with a pillow below or something 2) This point is going to completely undermine my previous porn comment but it's true. You might look ok in a neutral or rounded position, but just ok. In an arched position, the visual sex appeal is like exponentially improved. Like everything just looks way better. It shows off your butt, pulls in your stomach, pushes out your chest and your scapulas pop out and you suddenly look sexy and confident and athletic. That kind of eye candy when you're topping is just like yum.

I think what I meant by 'good bottom' is someone who is experienced enough to know generally what to do and what not to do (has anyone ever liked a constantly squirming bottom? it's like you find an angle that feels good and he wriggles around and fucks it up. Just stay still and take it for fucks sakes) so, more technique oriented. By good hole, I was thinking more innate characteristics. So it's kinda relative but it's basically the idea that a good btm optimizes what he's got and a good hole is like raw material to work with. A perfect hole on a grandmaster btm is like reaching enlightenment There are some guys out there that are just genetically gifted in ass structure and is not necessarily due to physical fitness or size or age(though I think they may contribute) . Even though they don't have much experience, they may have really strong sphincter muscles where the grip strength is like next level or they may have such thick pelvic floor muscles that it literally feels like a canal of thick muscle, the hot butt ones ofc (if that's how they were born) and I had a weird one once that he had like twitching vibrating muscle or something up there. No idea how that happens but it was a very unique experience. On a related note, I feel like porn is not a good model for good anal sex based purely on a physical pleasure perspective. I feel like alot of porn has been modified to be visually stimulating to an extreme (for example an ultra anterior pelvic tilt to give the look of a big booty) and it's often the case that we try to adjust our bodies to look good in a certain position for our partner...but doesn't end up being optimal. I bet prehistoric gay men must have had amazing sex because everything was just natural and instinct

OK, I think there's some confusion here based on the range on answers. To clarify, I think what OP was more asking, was what physical traits constitute a hole (I also hate the word pussy. I'm saving up my energy for a rant on this), that gives the top the most pleasure (though to be more precise, rather than traits, it is sensory factors perceived by the top that are determined by the traits) . Context, technique, position, movement, etc may have some relation but are notably distinct and a good hole should be distinguished from a good bottom. So, I enjoy topping and I also really like anon so I pay attention to these things (because it's dark and you're focused on just the sensation, like tasting a fine wine). People's preferences will obviously vary but I think the most important physical traits of a good hole are: -Sphincter muscles: Upon insertion into the anus, the penis passes the external and internal sphincter muscles. The reason why straight guys (assuming based on them calling it a 'pussy') generally call it good is because these sphincter muscles are usually tighter than the pelvic muscles of the vagina. You can control your external sphincter (skeletal muscle) consciously, while the internal sphincter (smooth muscle) is not under voluntary control. The more developed these are though the tighter a grip you can make on the top's cock. This is probably the #1 most important trait. Some guys like a loose ass, I don't. I can't even cum if it's too loose - and I'd be lying if I said that I was alright with fucking a guy despite it. -Pelvic floor muscles, pelvis orientation and relevant nerve control: these support your penis, bladder, rectum, and anus and the area around them like a hammock. The pelvic floor has 3 states of motion: neutral, contracted or lifted (which can be affected by mental state like anxiety and if it's too tight, you'll feel pain when you bottom). I think many bottoms have trauma over a painful first time bottoming and they've taken the advice of '"just push out"(which is basically bearing down on your pelvic muscles) to the extreme opposite and just go mega relaxed. This isn't optimal from a 'good hole' perspective because the floor muscles along with your pelvis orientation will affect the 'snugness' felt by the cock. This is because your rectum isn’t a straight tube—there’s a bend in it called the “anorectal angle.”. Ideally, the muscles should be slightly relaxed as to keep the rectum relatively linear (to avoid pain) but also with just enough pressure to stimulate the frenulum, a highly sensitive erogenous zone under the glans of the penis. But the thing is the frenulum is known to be particularly responsive to a light and sensitive touch and if you go too tight, you''ll not only miss this effect but you'll also be in discomfort. Given the vast variability of cock sizes and angles, adjusting your orientation with your floor muscles that's why bottoming is an art form of finding just the right angle and maintaining it during thrusting. And you can only get this kind of dexterity by exercise, which not only develops and balances (you cant just do kegels or you'll be too tight) pelvic muscles but also increases nerve control allowing finer adjustments between relaxation and contraction. - This part is pure speculation and it's regarding the sensation of warmth. Some bottoms seem have to asses that are hotter (temperature-wise) than others. There's incredibly nothing I can find on the subject at all when I google it. I feel like it must be related to the degree of peripheral vasodilation of the rectal blood vessels which could potentially be due to an infection, if they smoke weed, genetic causes, if they're taking certain meds like SSRI's, who knows

@fskn Have wondered about this no kissing thing whenever it occurs. Have had it happen across eastern, central and western Canada. Not all the time but enough to be a thing. I've always thought it was like avoiding too much intimacy or too personal or something. But, my basis for that assumption is really just watching that scene by Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman, so not exactly an authoritative source. Could also be like a masculinity thing.

There's a topic called, "About Bi-Sexuality ... Are you?" in the straight/bi forums that provides some insight why they have gay sex. Some as you've said are interested in only the cock, not the guy it's attached to or any other reason

Yes, quite a few times and quite a few successes. First off, before even considering popping the question, you need to do your research and understand his mindset. If you stalk his feed and find a comment or post suggesting he hates gays, that's a pretty clear signal dont go any further. Look for stuff that's overtly sexual and oriented toward casual sex, drugs, tats, maybe escapism or maybe a more deviant or more blue collar general feel imo. The approach obviously depends on the guy and how close friends you guys are. If just acquaintances, better to text and frame it properly. Something like, "Hey man. Sorry if this comes across as weird but I think you're fucking hot man! Listen, I know the deal but if you ever need a way to just get off on the dl, just hmu alright and we'll figure something out" That's it. That's all you need. You may get ghosted or avoided but it's basically a dice roll at that point. I prefer text because a lot of guys have a knee jerk reflex to just instantly say no before the question is even fully asked. Also, send the text late at night when he's alone. An in-person question takes more effort and depends on your dynamic. I suggest getting him drunk, keeping it casual and dont be weird.

Yeah man I totally agree and I've thought about this as well. It depends on how you define 'spirituality'. Rather than any sort of mysticism, you could interpret it as a 'search for meaning' on a deep, personal level (as you mentioned, a sense of intrinsic worth). Since people can find meaning in all sorts of things, all sorts of things can be spiritual. Even for an atheist like me then, spirituality could be apparent as principles like: relying on only evidence and logic to discern what is 'true' and 'real' in my world or 'an understanding of self and perception through a deterministic lens'. yeah dude I've noticed this for some straight guys too. Cock fixation is definitely a thing

@poztwinksrhot Yes, that's a very fair criticism and I can relate to your comment alot. Indeed, you're right, many gay guys myself included, would consider their overall past experiences with a church and the people there to be overwhelmingly positive and there would be great variation across experiences and impact and such depending on culture etc etc. But to be clear, these individual experiences are more of a micro level characteristic. My criticisms of religion are really how its design and influence have played out on a macro scale affecting so many people's choices and perspectives to such an extent that it shapes public perception and public policy based on its framework and not necessarily for the better but also to do shitty things like undermine the personhood of the entirety of the gay demographic. All I'm saying is given that religion has such a tremendous effect on a population's mentality, even if it may not be apparent on an individual level, why isn't it at least regulated or controlled to some extent? The national curriculum of Canada undergoes many rounds or review and rewriting and updating based on constantly updating research with the students' best interest in mind. If you can consider it to be a similar enough concept of shaping how a population thinks, then the same level of assiduousness should have been applied to all learning outcomes from the church , including all the more dangerous, nonsensical ones, like maybe the one demonizing homosexuality.But also others, like maybe all the divisive mechanisms such as the bizarre 'us (people of god)vs them' (sinners of god) dynamic used in the crusades and other religious wars that made it easier to hate other ppl. Or maybe just stop undermining established scientific paradigms like evolution without any evidenciary basis. Ok, am not gonna rant about this anymore. It doesn't even have much to do with the straight guy fetish topic at all.

No worries, I was just casually curious. We can drop the topic

Chilldude77

So, I kinda have a suspicion as of late that google, and maybe other search engines, have kinda recently been working behind the scenes to make a stricter quality filter when searching porn vids or trying to view content on the more edgier side of the spectrum. Has anyone else noticed this? and is there something that can be done to stop this filter? Aside from the 'explicit results filter' which has a clear toggle in settings, there's nothing related to any of the quality content filters mentioned here: [think before following links] https://transparencyreport.google.com/?hl=en ok, so first off, im not searching for anything illegal - what I'm kinda into searching is: s atanic h ypno s piral bate goon type vids/comps (I'm not s atanic or anything - I actually dont believe in any sort of deity, but the comps are hot and jerk-worthy.) Searching has def seemed more prohibiitive and I've noticed more and more of these vids have progressively been deleted. Am I imagining things? Should I just give up and settle for tamer porn?