hntnhole

I stand corrected. Thank you.

I'm assuming you mean the Deity we all grew up thinking of as the All Seeing, All Hearing, All Powerful & All Judging of our humanness? The one our culture professes to believe in? Those who picked up on the "Anointed" schtick have been fooled completely. And, they lost in the popular vote as well. The Orange-u-tang lost the popular vote, and substantially so. What he did win however, was the long-outdated contrivance we call the Electoral College, created when a decent percentage of the population of this country remained illiterate. They knew farming, animal husbandry, trades, but had little formal education. It was an effort to extend the right to vote to more Caucasian citizens, and deny it to "the other". The Electoral College has been a hideously outdated contrivance of domination for longer than any of our grandparents have been alive, and well deserves to be eliminated forthwith. The sitting Vice President, Ms. Harris, won the popular vote with ease, yet we all see what happened. Once we're rid of the C.I.C, (no, not Commander-In-Chief), the Crook/Criminal/Convict-in-Chief, it will be long past time to ditch the Electoral College as well. But, as the old saying goes, first things first.

Perfectly said.

It worked perfectly for my other half and I for decades. I loved watching him take loads, while I was rutting in another one. Same for watching him sucking Cocks off ... if I was within reach, I'd kiss him afterwards. When one or the other of us had to go to the office downtown, it became de rigueur for him (or me) to get home hours after that meeting would have been concluded - sometimes with a trick. Watching him suck off / take loads off other Cocks, only made mine all the harder.

I think the "default" position on this question would be t.b.d. If there are any "wants" on the part of the bottom, that should be made clear while the initial sniffing is still in progress. Same for the Top. It can take as much as a couple of minutes, or as short as a handful of seconds, but when there's something that's important to one or the other, it should be shared, and subsequently respected. The only thing that really matters - as I see it - is that each guy/guys get what they want, need.

"life now is just one person—me" That happens in every relationship, one way or another. There are variables, of course, i.e. how long the relationship lasts, how successful it is/was, etc, etc. It seems the success of the rest of our lives depends on how much we need that ineffable sense of "connection" that's available when we interact on a number of levels with our peers. Or, don't. I was fortunate, in that I had just over 30 years with my "other half", and for that I'm grateful. But whether it's a series of relationships, or just one for a number of years, or none at all for the truly resilient guys, the resulting sense of balance, sense of well-being, accomplishment remains. All we need to do is figure out how to access it.

I use one from AVG.

Well, Vaseline can be a good lube for fucking, but (to me), it tastes terrible .... I much prefer a pre-loaded Hole, but that's not always in the cards either. After all, some guy's Cock has to be first of the night. Just a plain (well-prepped) Hole with nothing but Lust up there is better than Vaseline .....

Neither can I. The creature was drawing breath at the time she came to Chicago to spread her hateful message, and I regret not one second of that afternoon. I'd do it again. When some public figure decides to spew hateful commentary regarding a segment of the human family - any segment - I will gladly resist, and do so publicly. Hatred, when experienced by one group of human beings, is easily recognized as such when directed at some other group of fellow humans, and subsequently resisted by other disrespected/marginalized groups of people. Ideally, that should extend to the rest of that society, but the ball has to start rolling somehow. The more we resist hatreds aimed at any group, the better it becomes for everyone. We don't need to physically harm others when they prove themselves deserving, but there's nothing at all wrong with resistance, and everything right about it. Unless I miss my guess, we've got an enormous plate of hatreds about to be set in front of us, and the more we defend others, the more we defend ourselves.

and if you all didn't before, now you know why I moved my ass to South Florida !!!

I have a grrrrrrrrreat A.B. even to share: Years ago (still lived in Chicago) when the Orangeblossom was still in bloom (fading, but ...), she was hired in to perform at an enormous, stone Masonic Lodge on Chicago Ave in Chicago. She was at the height of her "Hate Gays" schtick, and word got out she was coming to perform at that venue for the Masons. This was long before cellphones, but the gay network in Chgo responded: everyone started calling everyone, a demonstration of our own was being planned, and get to the area asap. Well. That area was infamous for lack of parking, and everyone jumped on the el trains headed for the Chicago Ave station (in that area, it was the subway). We told the secy that we'd be gone for an indeterminate amount of time, and took the elevated for the Near North side. By the time the train was half-way to Chicago Ave, it was jammed full of guys, all excited, all itching for a confrontation. The train cars were s.r.o., everyone laughing, carrying on, it was great. Got to the Chicago Ave (it was the subway at that point), and every stairwell up to grade was jammed with gay guys pouring out of the subway. Thousands. It was fan-fukkin-tastic. The queen of cuntery was due in about an hour, so we heard, and as we worked our way closer to the Masonic Temple, the cops started attempting their version of "crowd control", but the demonstrators outnumbered the cops by at least 100 - 1, and we started circling the temple chanting, all of that. As the time for her appearance approached, there were thousands of gay men, pissed off to the enth degree, and no chance of any car getting within a couple of blocks of that big old stone Masonic Temple. The rest is mostly gossip - we weren't so close to the temple we could see anything, but guys had climbed up on rooftops of one-storey stores to see, and hollered stuff down. And when all was said and done, the bitch told her driver to turn around (apparently, she'd been driven from the W side of Chicago Ave, and most of the crowd was on the E and S side). And, she took her wobble*, turned around and the cops escorted her car out to O'Hare. The whole thing was fantastic from start to finish - literally thousands of gay men, dropping what they were doing, coming together to demonstrate against one of the more vocal critics of who and what we are. That cunt hasn't even crossed my mind again until just now. I'll be more generous than she was to us: I hope she goes to purgatory**, now that we're rid of her filth. Not to Hell, mind you - just to purgatory (which I don't believe in anyway). *a vocal pedagogist's term, and not a flattering one ** I think that's where the souls of dead people go to .... well ..... think things over?

You and me both, Erik62 .... Sometimes I feel like a damn dinosaur technologically.

I'm sorry to know that there are some rocky shoals present in your relationship. That happens periodically in most relationships, but generally not those of a couple of years together. I'm trying to remember the first two years of the relationship with my life-partner. I don't think we'd moved in together yet. That happened when we realized that we were both maintaining apartments, with the same stuff in each one, and it wasn't all that easy for me to merge my life with his completely, and vice versa. I do remember we had a good laugh about living together, and then stopped laughing and fucked like whores. One thing that helped was, we'd have an occasional "time-out", when one or both of us could describe any issues, and the agreement was that no ill will would be permitted. That helped, in that it was a planned "thing", whenever one of us needed to express whatever it was. I think he was less interested in living together, concerned that I might not like what a sexual pig he was - the dummy - I was deeper in the pigpen then he was. But when we first met, we were both having sex with some other guy. The point is, being flexible enough to accommodate at least some of the other guy's needs is essential, but you already know that. So our relationship regarding sex was relatively open from the get-go. If your relationship with K. isn't/wasn't (I'm not putting it in the past tense quite yet), quite as laid out, defined, whatever, then maybe there's a chance to rebuild. Obviously, I don't know either of you, but I hope that at least some chance remains for a reconciliation.

We were friends with Chuck & Dom ... not "close" friends, but friendly enough they'd come over for supper sometimes, or we'd go over to their place. Dom was also a great cook - when they lived in "the mansion" over on Pine Grove & Wrightwood, Dom had a commercial kitchen to cook in, and he knew how to put on a first class dinner. There was also a ball room on the 3rd floor, where he'd practice. Occasionally, he'd ask me to come over and accompany on some score so he could figure out where to prepare for a "leap"* Plus, there were always a handful of "hangers-on" over there for ..... well ..... "amusement". I liked Chuck, but Dom was a truly fantastic guy. *I'm not sure what it's called - one of those graceful leaps that seemed so effortless - ballet is full of them. He explained that there's a way to tense one's muscles mid-leap, to extend the leap a bit - something I'd never heard of .... makes the performer look like he's defying gravity for a moment.

It seems there are all kinds of ways to exude "grace", now that I think about it. There's grace of movement, of course. There's a grace of putting thoughts to words too, and grace of forgiving others even if they're not aware of their grace-lessness. One form that you've clearly conquered is graceful use of the printed word, which would require a level of grace in your thought-processes as well. It's a pleasure to read, interpret, consider, reflect on your use of the written word. I wonder if our current definition of that word has been (at least somewhat) co-opted by Organized Religion - repeated by the faithful weekly - to the point it's effectiveness has been watered down to almost meaningless status.

For baths, I agree completely. I've been to baths all over, and while each had at least something interesting to offer, nothing beat Renslow's fuckjoints. I still have the sign (announcing the dress code) that was on the overhead wall half-way down the stairwell leading to the basement at the Gold Coast, 501 N Clark - the old, original, and fan-fukkin-tastic iteration of that definitive Leatherbar.

To the OP though, I wasn't aware that they do .... Not that there's any way to tell if a guy is married to a woman or a man - a ring is a ring - but I doubt there are many het's on the dl at the fuckjoints - around here, anyway ....

I think you've got more company on that train than anyone can imagine. I'll go one further: I think those of us that were in relationships with women - legal or not - and subsequently not only heard the siren call, but answered it, are far more numerous than any passenger train could carry. I came close to falling for it, but fortunately I smelled the *real* coffee cooking in time, thank Whatever.

If he gets all his nominations through the committees, he'll get whatever filth he can dream up easily. When I hear others grousing about this or that, I just ask them ... who did you vote for? But, there's some small measure of hope - at least around here. The local Democratic Action Committee starts the first meeting of the year tonight, and yes - I will.

Sure they will - but I doubt he'll live that long. He's not taken care of himself at all - eats like a pig (meaning consuming that which normal human beings avoid), seems to think riding around in a heavy-duty golf cart is "exercise", coats his corpulence with orange substances, exercises only his mouth (braying stupidness and gobbling Big Macs). He can't carry a thought-train any farther than he could carry a real one. It's Vancy-pants that we need to be watching closely. I doubt the muskrat will be able to co-opt the Constitution quite as easily as he's co-opted the Presidency.

LOL .... Well, I get that sometimes it seems that way - lately more often than not, and it's only going to get worse. The president-Elect wants to buy Greenland from the Danes, thinks the Canadians would put up with becoming the 51st State, the Panamanians would gladly return the Canal, on and on. I don't ever want to hear about what "the polls" say about upcoming elections again (assuming we even get to keep having them, obviously ...)

"...but about faith in the process, faith in myself ..." Well said.

In the context of sexuality, I doubt that anything can "turn us into" something we otherwise wouldn't have become at some point anyway, given the ability to reason, feel, consider, sift through possibilities, all of that. Our ancient enemy - O.R.* - surely can't, since the ranks of the clergy across the spectrum of various sects are filled to the rafters with practicing gays/lesbians. Interestingly, that fact does however, illuminate our collective bent towards spirituality; our urge to connect with as many of our brothers as we possibly can. *Organized Religion

(per the above, I should add that I use a vpn for other reasons as well)

Yep .... Ft. L. has been a magnet for gay guys for decades, as well as Miami. The rest of the State, however is a very different story. There are places (off in the Everglades, for instance) here and there that could be called gay-ish, such as Vitambi Springs - a verrrrrry gay campground out in the swamps miles west of Ft. L. - but not much of a welcome-mat N of Ft. L. And, Maga Blargo, that architectural disgrace where the President-Elect has been holding court, is only a few miles north of here.