hntnhole

Thanks, JamesL100. I've heard it before, and not paid much attention. Now I know. 😉

This is inexcusable. When more advanced sexual acts/kinks are being considered (anything dealing with "forced" acts, for instance), there is absolutely a requirement for a "negotiation" prior to the meetup. Corporal anything beyond fucking/sucking simply must be agreed upon by both parties, and before any action takes place. 1. You may not know if the other guy has any experience in the arts of B/d, S/m, and you don't want to find out the hard way. The Leather Ethic* has always forbidden un-negotiated acts that can be dangerous. 2. In the event you're feeling like getting fucked, it's doubly important, since that would be assuming the submissive role, and might be misinterpreted by some asshole that you're ok with whatever he does. That is never ok, and that guy is one to avoid. I've posted elsewhere on BZ how to conduct a negotiation (which, btw, is the Top's responsibility), how to protect yourself, etc. 3. Insecure men who don't understand (or care to) that this is a serious consideration can wind up dead. It used to happen a couple times a year back in Chicago. 4. Don't let one p.o.s. wannabe Dom wreck your Lusts - thankfully, there aren't all that many guys like your example around. It's Saturday - go out tonight and fuck/get fucked as much as you can hold, and try to overcome this regrettable event. It's not your fault; don't stew about it. Just know that there are ignorant, wannabe poseurs out there, and be careful. Good luck !! *ask the googler about the Gay Leather Ethic, if you're unfamiliar: the first and most important concept is "never do intentional, physical harm to another person". Or, look up the older posts here about it.

Yes, I agree. But who says your Lusts simply must be kept a secret? Here's the deal: When you no longer want to be single, you should definitely tell the man you're considering (for a deeper, longer-term relationship) the magnificent truth, and before any commitments are made. Tell him that you anticipate having sex with other men (maybe not how many), and that you don't see that as incompatible with your ability to love and cherish him alone. Sex and love go hand-in ..... (well, more like Cock in Hole for our kind), with human relationships of any depths, and I suggest if you settle down, it's with a man with a similar sexual drive. It worked for me for over 30 years; Honesty can work for every other guy too. Pretending that "outside" sex is able to be covered up is simply silly. They always figure it out, so far better to settle down with a guy that's just as big a raw sexpig as you are. That way each of you gets enough of what you both need, plus you can even share tricks, go out for sex together, if that suits. You won't have the burden of trying to remember what excuse you used, when you used it, on and on. Honesty enriches the soul: dishonesty rots it. By all means get into a long-term relationship with a man that shares your sexual wantonness. But please do it being completely upfront about your sexual needs. It'll be all the hotter for both of you.

While I prefer eating a Hole full of loads off previous Cocks, I enjoy eating just mine out of it too. Not necessarily for the taste, more for the fact that it's a raw Hole that just took a load - even though it was just mine. For me, it's the reinforcement of the Lusts that drive us to do what we do that's most important.

To the O.P., I guess I'm in "advanced middle age" now, and I don't think there's been any advancement or diminution in my need to Breed - at least that I can discern. I've always been fairly strict with myself on all levels - not just the sexual plane - to make sure I don't allow any one behavior to overstep the bounds I want to keep. I like balance in my life, and I've learned many years ago how to make that happen. As to the sexual quotient, I almost always go out on Fri & Sat nights (the only times I don't is when I'm on "medical leave", getting over some bug). I go out for sex seldom (but occasionally) during the week, and I find that by mid-week my Cock is beginning to take on a mind of it's own, sort of like an independently-minded pet dog. I notice men even more than usual, and since I'm generally commando, so does my Cock, which embarrasses me not one bit. I like men to cruise my Cock. But to the issue at hand, I think that when we've established a pattern of exercising our Lusts regularly - whether it be weekly, daily, monthly - over the decades our bodies naturally get a little bitchy when we don't fulfill those expectations. I seldom find myself too horny on Sundays, for example, having spent the previous 2 nights in the fleshpots. By Tues, my balls seem to be waking up, and by Wed into Thurs, my Lusts are ready to be exercised again. I wouldn't mind finding a gh joint somewhere around here though, just for "quickies". There used to be a bar close by (Cubby Hole) where you could get some lunch (nothing fancy - no waitpersons - order at the bar/eat at the bar, with "dessert" around the back corner of the bar or in the john), which was very handy. Sadly, the whole block fell to the designs of Urban Renewal, and now the neighborhood is full of mid-rise condos with women pushing baby carriages all over the place. I will admit that the volume of Sperm is less than it used to be - but there's still enough that the bottom can feel it - and that's all I really care. I can still hit the wall over the headboard, but there's not as much as there used to be years ago. But that's not the point, which is, I'm still doing what I need to do, and on the schedule I established years ago. So I'll keep to my schedule as long as I possibly can, and one day they'll start calling me Grandpa !!! 😁

Well, informed speculation is a helluva lot better than gossip - thanks for that reply 😉

Inn Leather should be active, but a lot of guys wait for nighttime to go out on the weekends too. If you get there, cruise around and don't see much, take a nap - all the beds are placed so men can look in your window - so be sure to leave your door cracked open. You might get a very nice wake-up call .....

Be sure to get to Slammer during your visit. I've posted extensive directions from Inn Leather to Slammer previously in this thread, if you're interested.

Worse ??? Some of us would call it better !!! To the original post though, I think that when a pattern of behavior has been established earlier in life, it stands a better chance of remaining an important part of our lives later in life. If we've been sexually active early on, that pattern will most likely continue until for whatever reason it's no longer viable. That may be applicable to the hets too - but fortunately I wouldn't know about that ... I agree 100%. ^ This ... perfectly said. I may be mistaken, but I've often heard that it's the mother that passes the "gay" gene to her offspring; the father's Sperm has nothing to do with that particularly lovely gift. Anyone know better?

Well said. Depending on one's understanding of "spiritual", the modifier isn't even needed. 👍

For me, it's more adding the sense of taste to the already-present awareness that the bottom is a genuine cumdump. Smelling/eating a wet Hole full of loads off previous Cocks only confirms that the bottom adores hard, raw Cocks pumping their Sperm up his gut, and it's that wanton behavior that turns my Cock to granite. Besides, I happen to like the taste (usually). Occasionally some prior guy has fucked the cumdump after keeping his load in his balls for far too long, and the taste is - oh - somewhat stale. To me, cumdumps are on the very pinnacle of the pyramid of wanton sexual freedom.

This problem is surely true, and it's made all the worse by dependence on the sex apps. Depending on a "virtual" connection with one's peers is in no way comparable to physically interacting with other human beings. Folks become isolated, alone with their apps, and can't figure out why they're not happy. We depend on interactions, in-the-flesh contact with other folks for our sense of stability, human-ness. We are not very good at insularity, we don't thrive when we deny ourselves physical interaction with other folks, whether it's friends, neighbors, service-providers, on and on. It's entirely healthy and useful to be a part of the community, and not just the gay community. I belong to a number of organizations (community, activism, cultural, interest-specific organizations), and those are all in-the-flesh interactions with others who share the same interests. It's healthy to physically be a part of something. Even if it's only sex-related, it's healthy to take part in activities, causes greater than ourselves. For instance: every time I hit Slammer, I stop in the darkroom first, and the same bottom is always in the same place taking loads. He doesn't even need to look around - he knows it's me. Even that small measure of connection is a healthy thing. I caught a little bug over there a while ago, and had to abstain for a while. After I was cleared by the doc, the following night I went over there, and as soon as he felt my mouth on his Hole he asked where I've been, etc etc - this in the pitch-black of the roomful of breeding men. It was more that his normal pattern had been disrupted, and he wondered. Regardless of what connects us, when it's disrupted for some reason, or not entered into in the first place, it's no wonder that folks get lonely. Human, in-person interaction with other humans is important to our sense of well-being. Being hiv positive is a health-related state of being: it has nothing to do with a "brotherhood", which requires personal interaction in a social/cultural setting; i.e. participation in groups organizations not focused on wanton sex. More, dependence on the ether to supplant physical interactions with our peers will inevitably fail to satisfy our need to "belong". I know some on here will read this and be offended, which is not my intent. Rather, it is to encourage everyone to take part in the wide array of interests/organizations that include group, in-person interactions with other like-minded folks.

Very sorry to know this, ErosWired. We're all sending you our very best wishes .... 🥰

It's a bit difficult to describe / translate into script. That said .... There are times when one (or more) of the following occurs: not all that often, but occasionally. a) a guy, T or b, walks into a fuckjoint, and witnesses several guys taking loads. One in particular fascinates him more then the others - not physically, but mentally/emotionally. It might be the reactions the bottom is expressing, it might be something else, but it's something more than just "I wanna fuck each of those guys, but somehow that one's even more special". b) A bottom walks into the same room, and finds one particular Top fascinating, not really knowing why. The more he watches the Top rut, the more he knows he needs that particular Cock up his gut. The Cock belonging to that particular Top. The attraction is more an ephemeral thing than an overt thought that "I need that Cock/Man in my Hole". When two men of similar mental/emotional mindset fuck, it can be more than just a fuck - it can be a sharing, an exchange, and exponentially more thrilling. It doesn't mean love, it doesn't mean they're going to even exchange names/numbers. It does mean that for a beautiful few minutes, the two men are mating not only physically, but mentally/emotionally/spiritually. Spirituality certainly exists; the problem with using that word immediately summons forth the Organized Religion mess, which seldom has much to do with the "connection" we're talking about. It's similar to meeting some person (not necessarily in a sexual situation - regardless of the context), and you both really "hit it off". You want to see more of that person, and they want to experience more of you. Neither of you know exactly why, but each person realizes there's a special "vibe", and finds it particular fulfilling. In a sexual context, that means fucking/mating/sharing of their deepest needs, without necessarily speaking one word. I know it sounds nutty to folks that haven't experienced it, but for those who have, it's magical. Hope this helps ....

What does "catfished" mean?

Same chapter, same page, same sentence, same phrase within that sentence. You "get" it ....

For some guys, a "kink" implies some particular act (or set of acts) that they find satisfying (B/d, S/m, piss, on and on). I don't think the sense of wanting to become poz is a "kink", I think it's the result of a behavioral urges, i.e. a guy wanting to feel "free" to have as much sex as he wants/needs, and not think any further than that. What a lot of guys seem to do is focus on their being drawn to pigsex, without doing the intellectual work beforehand. It's not like PrEP is such a big bother, a pill a day isn't all that tough to manage, for the protection it affords against serious illness, and a sense of freedom to fuck any guy, any time, any place - whether they actually do that or not. PrEP allows a guy to minimize his chances of paying a costly price and live out his most wanton sexual desires. Why a guy wouldn't do that is beyond me.

I think that's a small price to pay for the chance to have *real* sex together. Sounds like a "keeper" to me ..... once a guy's head is in the right place, the rest will follow of it's own accord for his own Lust for quality Hole. When he fucks you with a barrier, it's probably out of physical need: when he fucks you raw, it's exponentially more fulfilling (no pun intended) for both of you in all kinds of ways. I hope he's Breeding you right now !!!

Maybe - but from a Top's perspective, and one who loves that "connection" I sometimes go on about, there are only so many bottoms that understand that possibility of connection. For many (both T & b), it's the wanton behavior that's so compelling, and that's perfectly ok. For some, it's the wanton behavior and the chance of "connection" that's so compelling.

There's something to be said in favor of living someplace where guys are always fucking each other 24/7. Not every guy can just pull up roots and move to a city full of raw pigs, but when you can, it's worth considering. Sure, there are always trade-off's - it only depends on what's most important to each individual guy. Easy to say, I know ... it's a lot more difficult to decide. So far, I'm pleased with my decision.

Hmmmm .... if anyone knows how these creatures communicate, maybe we should start a little "whispering campaign" in alligator-ese or crocodile-ese, peddling just how delicious R flesh is, and how bitter D flesh is ..... Very sorry about the dog though ... I know every creature needs to eat, but dogs outrank almost every other critter on Earth.

1. Yes, the weather is nice year-round (temperature-wise). It's 90 and quite humid today, but a cool-down into the '50's (quite temporary) is expected early next week. If you enjoy hot, humid weather, you'll get plenty of that here. Afternoon showers, and once the sun goes down it cools off. There are, of course, irregularities, but on the whole, it's perfect. 2. Plenty to do: that depends on what (other than taking loads) you like to do. Culturally, there's precious little here. There are plenty of "festival-type" events, given the rich, melting-pot group of inhabitants. If you mean the arts - there's rather little. The Florida Grand Opera really inflates their middle name, but it's at least something. There's a symphony orchestra in Miami that appears downtown in the Performing Arts center, and they're good at avoiding works the conductor knows they can't handle. What passes for legitimate theatre is hardly worth mentioning. 3. Yes, there are plenty of men of every kind and description, and they all love to fuck - morning, noon & night. There are bathhouses, bars, fuck joints, and I've never seen a condom in any of those I go to. There are R neighborhoods over by the coast that you may not feel comfortable in, but on the whole, Ft. L. is about as "gay" as a fairly large city can get. Also, Miami isn't so far away, and lots that those guys make a run up to Ft. L. to hit the fuckjoints on the weekends, or locals make a run down to Miami for some fresh meat. 4. Yes, housing prices are outrageously overpriced. Most of the new buyers are from the Northern States, and all they want is a warm place to escape the winters, then fly back home in the Springtime. One "plus" is, we have no State income tax. There is also a contrivance called the "homestead exemption", via which you can save thousands off your property taxes, if you actually live in that particular home. It doesn't apply to income properties. 5. Homeowner's insurance costs are outrageous. If our simple-minded Governor would lift one fat finger, he could do something about it, but he's to busy with his "woke" bullshit to bother, and we have a 2-term limit for the Governorship, so we'll be rid of him at the end of this term (unless he gets his R legislature to ditch that 2-term limit). Interestingly, many think the current run-up in housing prices seem to think that bubble is close to bursting. Even in my (working-class) neighborhood, there are 3/4 million dollar listings of homes (completely renovated) that aren't selling like they were a few months ago. Real estate pricing run-up's always wind up with a collapse in prices too, if you have the patience to wait for it to happen. 6. Now that the Earth is starting to fight back, after getting fucked over all these years, there is that consideration too. Fort Lauderdale has been lucky for many years, but one day we'll get TBO* here too. Some say that one tip of the Bermuda Triangle points directly at Ft.L., which by some crazed mental process means that while ships and airplanes are sucked down into the sea, we're magically spared the hurricanes. I guess it depends mostly one what weight you assign to your interests. If all you really want is a lot of raw sex, we can give that and more to you. But, business is business too. In any case, wait for the real estate prices to come down; they will. Good luck with your relocation plans !! *The Big One

Yikes !!! I wouldn't want one in my back yard !!! The iguana's are more than enough for me, and they run when I open the door to the back yard.

AND the wanton behavior the bottom is broadcasting. It really matters very little what a guy actually looks like, whether handsome, homely or in-between: body by Atlas or the couch. It's the fact that he's bent over, taking raw Cocks up his gut - the behavior - that's so enticing, at least to me.

First, thanks to all you guys for the uncompromising laying bare the facts. Secondly, thanks for sharing your own perspectives, apprehensions, feelings. Only thoughtful, considerate men would be able to do that. So much can depend on the decisions we make as our lives unfold. I remember thinking I was going to move to SanFran many years ago (before hiv), and jump into the pile with both feet. Then, I met my other half, and made a different decision, which almost certainly allowed me to live a much longer life. A fortuitous "chance" decision? Maybe, maybe not. The point is, each of us makes decisions that will impact our lives in the moment, and perhaps far into the future too. We can only do our best to sit our asses down, think through what is, try to conceive of what might be later on, and take our chances. I hear echo's of regret in some of the above responses, which is truly sad. I also hear echo's of hope in some, and I only wish I had the power to make them come true. The fact is, life's a crap-shoot one way or another, and that's a good enough reason to make every day count. I love every one of you - my chosen brothers.