hntnhole
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Everything posted by hntnhole
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One day I look forward to hearing your reactions to this scene (meaning, at least 5) in Gaelic !!
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I'm sorry to know this happened. It does, however, speak to the requirement that an experienced Top will perceive that a certain kind of play is appropriate, while another type (or gear) is not. Gear such as sounds can enhance a Bd/Sm scene a hundred-fold if the Top knows what he's doing. If he doesn't, it can "destroy the desire", as jagmanaz so poignantly points out. For the right pair of guys, Bd/Sm gear can throw open the doors to a whole 'nother level of "mating" - but it is simply a requirement that experience trumps (excuse the usage) lust every single time. I admire your lust for trying new, exciting experiences, jagmanaz. Please give it another chance at some point - but with an experienced Bd/Sm Top at the helm.
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Pump right away after sticking it in or allow time?
hntnhole replied to miticax's topic in General Discussion
There are different techniques for different situations. One can play a cello violently, or sweetly - smooth as silk - depending on the score and the composer's notations. Similarly, one can deliver one rough & tough fuck that will bring a sweat to the brow, or one can "play" the Hole so sweetly it will bring a tear to the eye of either the bottom or the Top or both. Communication is paramount - whether spoken or silent, for each guy to get what he most needs. It all depends on one's intent, and the skill one possesses to effect the desired out-come. -
There's a possible exception to this type of transaction: Say some gay guy lost his job, then his home, and winds up hungry. Say he's been through the mill in any of a number of ways, has not achieved much education, skills, all of that. Troubles come to a lot of people, sometimes through no fault of their own. It's not outside the realm of possibility that the only thing the guy can do to keep food in his belly is to hook up for cash. Someone once said around a couple of millennia ago: Feed the hungry, clothe the naked, house the homeless, etc, etc. That Someone didn't say grill the person in need for the reasons they're down, just do the humane thing. And I'm guessing that same Someone would offer that after the fuck, buy the unfortunate guy some dinner too. Call me a Bleeding Heart Liberal .... I'm ok with that.
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That's what I call a real dilemma, Flared. Do you have any plans for higher education? If so, make sure you choose a college in a larger city, far from your current location. That will help tremendously with your journey to sexual freedom. It's a lot easier to be from someplace, and free to be the man you were born to be, than spending too much time wishing you were. Good luck !!
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As a former publisher, I know a First Class Ad when I see one - and I just did !!!
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That's true, and more true in certain areas. Largely rural locations, "conservative" States in particular. This is most likely why there are such substantial GLTB+ populations in major metro areas. When someone comes to terms with their "different-ness" from the majority of the population, it's no wonder that they 'get outta Dodge' as soon as they can, and move to a more non-judgemental area where they can live their lives more freely. One happy result of that migration is, there's more prospective partners per several square blocks in a large city (in the gay neighborhoods) than existed in an entire county where they grew up. One unhappy result is, the population of wherever they ditched is an even more concentrated population of willful ignorance. Then, the remaining repressive residents* start to complain that they can't "keep" their brightest and best in the area, completely ignorant of the reasons why. The resulting concentration of repressions in some areas is merely one of the issues holding back the development of Justice for all citizens of our nation. Worse, I don't see any remedy on the horizon of our national future. That doesn't mean we don't continue to press for Justice, but it may mean that the Moral Arc of the Universe may be changing course for the worse, at least here in the U.S. Fight back, brothers (and sisters), before our gains advancing Justice for all begin to dissolve before our very eyes. *admittedly, alliteration is one of my favorite literary devices
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Well said. What's good for the gander, is good for the (other) gander too.
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Oh !!! I didn't know that, and now I do. Thanks for the correction, viking8x6.
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Interesting subject matter: there aren't any cast-in-concrete answers to the question, and it implies degrees of harm to the 'out' GLBT+ communities (apologies if I left anyone out). Some married guy that sneaks off to take loads once in a while is one thing. No one's business but his own. Some gay politician that attacks gays/lesbians publicly, and then sneaks off to the tubs to fuck - or some cleric that thunders from his pulpit against gays/lesbians and then sucks off the altar boys is something else entirely. When no one but the conflicted guy is harmed by his behavior, there's no harm to either the gay community or the public perception of us. In that case, let the alleged "outer" stew in his own juices until one fine day he (hopefully) wakes the hell up. I vote for live and let-live, until the closeted guy opens his mouth, publicly condemning his own kind to whatever self-centered end his fevered mind can dream up. Publicly demonizing any group of folks is, by definition, an open invitation to an equally public response by the attacked community. Those who live in glass houses shouldn't be throwing stones in the first place.
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That doesn't make sense to me either. As far as I can tell, they gain nothing, and only compromise their own self-esteem by some measure.
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We were all taught not to pick our noses, but in this kind of situation, anything goes ....
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Remember the Sky King tv series? The Songbird? And, that '59 Buick Electra station wagon racing around after the bad guys? A little blonde girl was the female interest (niece of Sky King - Penny, maybe?) and that thick-headed, black-haired hunk of a boyfriend of hers. It was the Electra wagon racing around the desert that interested me most .... at first .... but then there was a scene where they had to swim for some reason, and I first appreciated the boyfriend ... (Clipper, maybe?) ... but that was a base Packard model ... no matter what the hell his name was .... must have been all of 5 years old, and already knew I didn't care much for girls. I noticed the shirtless guy, but loooved the Electra !!
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None of these responses seem to reflect any "holier than thou" attitude, in my humble opinion. As many threads seem to do, this one has evolved from one plain old regular guy sneaking off to the tubs, to a gay, closeted public figure using his/her public position to attack the same folks he/she sneaks off to have sex with, and that's what makes the difference from where the thread started, and where it evolved to. Rather, the responses in favor of a "situational ethics" issue reflect the instinct to serve justice upon someone whose soul is so corrupted, they have compromised the privacy they so noisily compromise in others. If a closeted public figure rails against "the gays" in a public way, he or she is acting out his/her own self-hatred by condemning all the others like her/himself, which invites some measure of counter. I do not condone, and have never "outed" some regular guy - married and cheating - or cheating on a boyfriend - or anything similar. The issue the above respondents are reacting to has evolved to addressing justice upon those who are one of us, yet seek to harm us. I think it's healthier to be open and honest in my own interactions, but that's only my personal bent. That said, we're still buddies, yeah?
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Sure. I had the same question when I first joined up. Hover over that little white heart in the blue circle at the bottom right corner of a post (or response to the post). You will see the various choices of emoticons appear to the left of the heart. Move your cursor left until you're over the one you want, and click, and presto - your reaction will be there for all to see. You will be commenting only on that particular text; not the entire post. If you want to, go to the initial post and choose an emoticon to comment on the subject matter.
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Barebacking: what's in it for the bottom?
hntnhole replied to bbicurious's topic in Making The Decision To Bareback
This response appeared a couple years before I discovered BZ, but it's so thoroughly, 100% spot-on I just scrolled until I found it. Perfectly said, AZRawPig. Thanks !! -
Sluts, how often do you deal with STDs?
hntnhole replied to breakland's topic in HIV Risk & Risk Reduction
Depending on how active one is, maybe more frequent testing than 3 months is something to consider. The sooner they're detected, the sooner they can be treated, and every sexually active guy will pick up one of the lesser bugs occasionally, even on PrEP. Freedom isn't really "free" - there's a price to be paid for everything, it seems. But we have resources now that make it really cheap to live the way we need to live and still protect ourselves and our brothers. -
Nice to see some natural (unshaven) Holes ...
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New things are often "worth it". You may not want to get in on the action, but it's still "worth it" to find out. At CumUnion though, I think it might be best for you to hang back, watch some of the action before you jump in; I haven't so much as seen a condom at CumUnion in ages. Here in Ft. L., the event alternates between one of the bathhouses and the best fuckjoint in town, and I haven't seen a rubber in either of those joints, ever, no matter how jammed they are with Breeding men. You may find it productive to just go - watch - absorb the experience, and then figure out if you ever want to attend again. There's nothing wrong with experiencing new things, but it may not be your cup of Sperm either. Nothing wrong with deciding against attending orgies either. It's your decision, and yours only. Good luck !!
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Well put, fuzzybttm. Usually, one of the Tops is already celebrating one of the acts already, when the other approaches to join in. The second one usually (and naturally) takes his cue from the first guy, but that's not always the case - and it should be. After all - it's the second one that's joining a Breeding already in progress. Thanks for pointing this out.
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I concur. While I voted "no", and generally wouldn't consider "outing" as acceptable, there can be situations wherein I would consider calling them out, as Bootman writes above. For instance: If one of these insufferable "televangelists" railing against gay folks to raise even more money, all the while ignoring the message of the One he claims to follow is in the pigpen with the rest of us when the cameras aren't around, I just might try to find an identifying birthmark or some-such, and do it. The guilty party chose long ago to point the finger at those who are honest enough with themselves to live their lives according to their very real needs, harming no one, while the shit-peddler chose to go after the dough and victimize his own kind in the same effort. As to the closeted pols, most of them aren't blaring condemnation for gay folks. The ones doing that job are, of course, the hets, trying to pick low-hanging fruit off the Tree of Hate.
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and when it turns out they're bottoms, it's exponentially hotter 💦
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Welcome, Jude Hope you enjoy BZ, and contribute often to subjects that interest you. Have to admit that seeing your screen name, location immediately summoned memories of McCartney ... and a smile.
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Ahhhh .... thanks for the clarification. Per the above, I think that would be the height of selfishness. Just because a guy is Topping, it doesn't relieve him of the responsibility to display common good manners. I know some Tops think their Cocks are battering rams, and that's a matter of disinclination to give a hoot about what the bottom is experiencing - i.e. selfish behavior. I'm assuming the disinterest in the hammering has been communicated to the Top, and he's aloof to your enjoyment. In this kind of situation (and referencing the reply just above this one), and assuming you've communicated your disinterest in that kind of action, maybe you could allow that guy to understand by standing up, turning around and saying (with a smile) something like "You just don't get it, do you Sir ...". Walk away and find a more caring man with a more experienced Cock. It takes two men (or more) to make it a good scene, not just one.
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I would suggest that is unlikely. I'm not all that familiar with the current state of the cultural repressions in your country, but if you explore some of the sites related to Leathermen, Leathersex, sexual "toys" (which sounds definitely are not), B/d or S/m play, you may discover some resources to investigate. It that turns up anything of interest, take care to investigate the Top thoroughly. This kind of sexual interaction can be dangerous, if entered into without the proper pre-scene negotiations. Good luck !!
