Perpetually Single vs. Always In A Relationship

[rawTOP]

I'm the type of person that always seems to be in a relationship. Even when I was in my 20s I was dating guys most of the time... It's actually a bit of a problem 'cause you can fall into a relationship that's "easy" but not quite right for you. Most of the time it would take me breaking up with the guy - it was pretty rare for me to be dumped.

In contrast I have friends who seem to be perpetually single. Nice guys who seem like marriage material, yet they're rarely in a relationship. If they do get in a relationship it doesn't seem to last.

[There's also a 3rd type - a good friend dates guys intensely, then gets bored and breaks up with them.]

So what do you think is the difference between the guys who are always in a relationship and the guys who are perpetually single? Are the single guys too picky? Always shooting for A+ rather than A-? Do they not know how to compromise? Do they go for "the wrong type" of guy?

Thoughts?

[Inception]

Perpetually single here. No matter how nice a guy you are, and how much guys wanna lay you, they just don't see themselves dating a bath house slut.

[HungLatinDom]

Perpetually single here. No matter how nice a guy you are, and how much guys wanna lay you, they just don't see themselves dating a bath house slut.

I'd say you just haven't found the right guy or the kind of guy you want is not attracted. But I have met quite a few couples that are full sluts, my bf is a slut and so am I.

[duncan_idaho]

Those that are always in relationships fall into two categories, settlers and builders. Settles take what they can get at the compromise of something about themselves. Builders tend to be the stronger person in the relationship. Finding someone a bit rough around the edges and making them fit their collective needs.

Personally im am perpetually single hoping for the right guy to come along. Its not that im picky, i have a slew of very attractive fuck buddies but emotionally im just not connecting with them. Only one person has made me want to compromise part of my self and my life to be with them, but sadly I got rejected. I've had multiple offers from said fuck buddies that want to turn it into something more, but im either at a state of being emotionally unavailable or I believe that there wouldn't be equality in the relationship, (I bag a lot of sugar daddies, but im not looking for handouts - im just lucky that rich guys like to drop a load in my ass).

Edited February 15, 2012 by duncan_idaho
grammar

[GermanFucker]

I think perpetual singles fall into three categories:

- Guys who know exactly what they want - and are not willing to just let things happen and maybe compromise now and then - the lonely wolf type.

- Guys who don't know what they want - often young guys who don't really know how a relationship works and go about things the wrong way - lack of experience.

- Guys who have other priorities - whose relationships will fall apart because, not because of their job or because they fuck with strangers, but because work, fucking with strangers or a drug habit is MORE IMPORTANT than having a partner.

[evilqueerpig]

I'm too SLUTTY for monogamy....was in an open relationship with my ex for 10 years, but I turned kinky while he remained vanilla.....for me, only open or poly will work!

[marcsoton]

Jeez, could you try to be a little more judgmental there?

Why didn't you ask., 'Are the guys who are always in a relationship not picky enough? Always shooting for D- instead of D+? Do they not know how to do anything but compromise? etc etc'?

I guess the reason you chose to frame the question the way you did is because you perceive yourself to be a superior sort of queer, a queer in a relationship, whereas everyone who isn't in a relationship is some lower form of life.

It may come as a shock, but not everyone wants to be in a relationship. That doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with them. It just means they don't want to be in a relationship and they're just as happy with their lives as you are with yours.

[layedback]

No matter how much guys wanna lay you, they just don't see themselves dating a bath house slut.

LOL! Someone should embroider that on a sofa pillow, with forget-me-nots.

[calrockxxx]

"Marriage material"? What's that? You sound like my mom! The last thing I want is a ball & chain, and I don't want someone who wants that either. The things I used to think I'd get from a relationship I can get from roommates and friends -- sharing living expenses, emotional support, companionship. And I don't get judged for my sex life. And I don't get in-laws! Just because you're hot, successful, and financially independent doesn't mean you have to get married.

Too many of the guys I know who get hitched (literally, this is Massachusetts) are desperate for companionship and others need the financial support or have kids. I know more divorced gay couples now than successfully married.

I occasionally date guys but I'm not about to settle for someone who can't keep up with me, sexually or otherwise. A multimillionaire sugar daddy, though, might make me change my mind

Edited February 16, 2012 by calrockxxx

[layedback]

It's funny because I just had this conversation with a friend.

Not counting me, of course, all of my single friends are desperate to be in a relationship, and all of my partnered friends are desperate to get out of one.

From my perspective, many people (not all, but many) enter into relationships for the wrong reasons. They do it because it's an expected social convention, or they do because they possess low self esteem and think that another person's love will validate their self worth. Neither are a solid foundation for a partnership.

I'm single by choice. I have close friends who provide good emotional support, and FBs to take care of my physical needs. If I want to bring someone home to play in the trough, if I want to tomcat all over town till 5am, or if I just want to drink some wine, listen to music, and be weird at random, I can do that. Perhaps I'm selfish, but I enjoy my freedom. If I met a guy who knocked my socks off on an emotional, physical, spiritual, and intellectual level, would I consider a serious relationship? Sure. I don't rule anything out. I'm not against commitment on principle, but at the same time, I don't need another person's recommendation in order to be happy.

[nastybottom]

I'm too independent to be in a relationship. I want to do what I want, when I want, and not have to answer to anyone. I don't want to meet any parents or friends, go to any office parties at their work, go do any boring activities I'm not into, etc. I also want to be free to fuck anyone at any time, and that's certainly not easy with a BF or husband around.

[bbzh]

I think I will probably always be single because I am too exotic for the country I live in. I'm well educated (4 degrees), told I'm handsome, multilingual, earn well into the six figures. Most guys just only want to use my warm moist openings. :-) I am not desperate. Being single has its advantages. Would be nice to travel with other gays though.

[AlwaysOpen]

I had a 19 year, pretty vanilla and tame relationship. And it was what I thought I wanted- just like Ozzie and Harriett, complete even with the dog. Then we grew in different directions and I went poz ; he stayed neg. He got terminal spinal cancer, and I stood by him. But the impending end sent him hunting strange ( which I supported) but also had him nesting with one guy, which eventually killed our relationship before the cancer killed him.

Been single, not dating for 11 years now- I hit the sex club or the bookstore or hunt online on my days off . I'd love to hook up with a guy for the long haul again, but this time it would have to be based on kink and caring, cruising and cocks. Since being single I have gotten VERY good at taking a fist or an 11 inch cock, but there is still something nice about being able to recall details of a place or a trip or a gangbang with someone else who was sharing that with you years from now. Even tho my ex has been gone 5 years , I still catch myself wishing I could give him a call to ask about something we did or saw many years ago.

[PhoenixGeoff]

I'm not very good relationship material myself. Decent friend maybe, but I tend to be too independent to be a good husband.

The relationships I have had have tended to have been initiated by others. Most have been casual fucks that went wrong (right?). Lots of guys seem to have trouble wrapping their head around my attitude towards sex.

That said, when I do get into a relationship, I tend to stick with it. If you can put up with my flaws, I'm pretty much going to stand by you.

[rawpozbtm]

"Lots of guys seem to have trouble wrapping their head around my attitude towards sex." What is your attitude towards sex that is different from others?