Does being openly slutty actually hurt a bottom's chances?

[ErosWired]

Once upon a time, a person's life could be ruined by gaining a reputation as a "whore" or even just a "slut". In some circles, slut-shaming is still a thing (ask Hester Prynne). Even in places where religious and moral judgments aren't brought to bear, there's still a kind of market economy equation that dictates that scarcity = value; if a thing is easy to get, it must not be worth much, if it's worth having at all.

Here at BZ, we find men who fly their Slut and Whore Flags proudly. The terms are even integrated into the site hierarchy. But when it comes down to fantasy versus actual fucks counted, braggadocio versus balls unloaded into asses, is there still any stigma attached to those of us who will actually ass-up for anyone, anytime? Does advertising ourselves as the opposite of hard-to-get make us less desirable? Does it suggest that we lack self-esteem or self-respect or that there's some reason we're not top-shelf ass that almost nobody gets to fuck and therefore everybody wants to?

A man took me and trained me for five years to be a cumdump bottom. No shit. I'm not making this up, this actually happens. Maybe I was always headed for this, maybe not, I don't know, but all I can say is that now I know for a fact that the purpose for my sexual life is for as many men as possible to fuck me. It's a purpose that drives me. I want this. I need it to happen for me to feel that I have fulfilled a part of my reason for being.

I have to assume that there are some guys who would hear that and think, "That's fucked up, man." I'm not a psychiatrist, but it doesn't feel fucked-up to me. It feels natural and liberating.

I also have to assume there are those who hear that and say,"Yeah, right, trained to be a sex toy. Nice story, bro." I already realize how it sounds, but what can I say, it actually happened to me.

For the rest, I assume there are some who will read it and think: "That's hottt" and others who would simply think: "Easy ass" and both would wonder, "How far away is he and is he looking right now?"

But is there some percentage of those who read it and think: "Ew. I don't want to fuck someone everybody's fucked. He must be a loose/skanky/sketchy/dirty/low/gutter/messed-up/drugged-out/non-self-respecting slutty whore." Of course, for some here, that would all be taken as high praise, but stick with me. In all honesty, when I come out in total honesty and advertise my holes as open to all cummers, does that turn some of you away? Do we eager sluts do ourselves a disservice by being too eager? Do we actually turn away more than we attract?

I don't know the answer to this, and I would really like to, because I don't know any other way to be than completely honest about myself. If I'm offering something nobody wants, I'd rather be told than sit here with my ass hanging out (literally).

Your candid views are always appreciated, and may I say what a pleasure it is to have a place like this where I can even ask such a question.  

 

[evilalex]

I would want my bf to be a slutty whore.

[evilqueerpig]

Like me or not, I'm a slut....shameless n blameless!

[NYBBGUY58]

I say go for it! If this is something you enjoy and want that's great. Enough shaming, whether it's for having a lot, a little or no sex. ?

[phukhole]

I guess it would depend on the situation. If I'm in a bar or club (on online) and I'm openly available (slutty), I get bred. If I'm out and about running errands and such, I don't usually present as slutty, but if guys have fucked me before, then they already KNOW I'm slutty. I HAVE gotten the unexpected load in a bathroom when I bump into a previous playmate.  I'm sure there have been times when someone is NOT interested in me BECAUSE I sleep around, but overall, I don't think it hurts my chances. 

If you're talking about boyfriends and relationships, then, yes, it most certainly can limit your potential suitors, but in my opinion anyone who I would want to be in a relationship with, would have to be cool with my level of sex drive - preferably trying to keep up and not be threatened or intimidated by it.

[deadaccount]

I tried for ages to pretend I wasn’t a complete slut but realised that if I want the send that I crave I need to just be who I am. Guys know I’m a slut and some avoid me because they’re stuck up but most use me the way I need. Never end up not getting laid raw so fuck it.

[Guest faggot hole]

3 hours ago, ErosWired said:

Once upon a time, a person's life could be ruined by gaining a reputation as a "whore" or even just a "slut". In some circles, slut-shaming is still a thing (ask Hester Prynne). Even in places where religious and moral judgments aren't brought to bear, there's still a kind of market economy equation that dictates that scarcity = value; if a thing is easy to get, it must not be worth much, if it's worth having at all.

Here at BZ, we find men who fly their Slut and Whore Flags proudly. The terms are even integrated into the site hierarchy. But when it comes down to fantasy versus actual fucks counted, braggadocio versus balls unloaded into asses, is there still any stigma attached to those of us who will actually ass-up for anyone, anytime? Does advertising ourselves as the opposite of hard-to-get make us less desirable? Does it suggest that we lack self-esteem or self-respect or that there's some reason we're not top-shelf ass that almost nobody gets to fuck and therefore everybody wants to?

A man took me and trained me for five years to be a cumdump bottom. No shit. I'm not making this up, this actually happens. Maybe I was always headed for this, maybe not, I don't know, but all I can say is that now I know for a fact that the purpose for my sexual life is for as many men as possible to fuck me. It's a purpose that drives me. I want this. I need it to happen for me to feel that I have fulfilled a part of my reason for being.

I have to assume that there are some guys who would hear that and think, "That's fucked up, man." I'm not a psychiatrist, but it doesn't feel fucked-up to me. It feels natural and liberating.

I also have to assume there are those who hear that and say,"Yeah, right, trained to be a sex toy. Nice story, bro." I already realize how it sounds, but what can I say, it actually happened to me.

For the rest, I assume there are some who will read it and think: "That's hottt" and others who would simply think: "Easy ass" and both would wonder, "How far away is he and is he looking right now?"

But is there some percentage of those who read it and think: "Ew. I don't want to fuck someone everybody's fucked. He must be a loose/skanky/sketchy/dirty/low/gutter/messed-up/drugged-out/non-self-respecting slutty whore." Of course, for some here, that would all be taken as high praise, but stick with me. In all honesty, when I come out in total honesty and advertise my holes as open to all cummers, does that turn some of you away? Do we eager sluts do ourselves a disservice by being too eager? Do we actually turn away more than we attract?

I don't know the answer to this, and I would really like to, because I don't know any other way to be than completely honest about myself. If I'm offering something nobody wants, I'd rather be told than sit here with my ass hanging out (literally).

Your candid views are always appreciated, and may I say what a pleasure it is to have a place like this where I can even ask such a question.  

 

Well, that's the story of my life.  Trained by my own father to be a cumdump bottom, and proud of it -- proud of my skill set (which is constantly improving) and proud of my role in improving the quality of life of many, many men.  It does not feel fucked-up to me, either.  It is satisfying  and gratifying and exciting.  And it is not degrading; rather it is satisfying to be so much in demand.  i have never had any man refuse to fuck me because i was a fucked-out, loose-assed whore.  i am not fucked out.  i am not loose ass. a=And i am an awesome fuck.  I can give you score of guys who will attest to my skills, my endurance, my enthusiasm.

[Guest Upstateguy518]

I sympathize. I will put shit on craigslist or grindr saying I wanna hook up using protection and I still get the cold shoulder because people view me as a slut. Guys like those who come off as a bit selective and not as used. The moment I changed it up to show I was a bit more selective, I was getting a lot more hits. You could still be a cum dump, Just make it seem like you aren't.

[bjbottom]

My only problem with being a slut has been how to interact with others in non-hookup settings.    It seems some of the guys who will fuck me in private or isolated settings did not want to acknowledge they hooked-up with me, especially if their friends were trying to slut-shame me.    However, like a good slut or mistress, I have learned never to acknowledge another unless acknowledged first.

[bbzh]

@eroswired You must have been reading my mind with this post. I was literally thinking about this yesterday. There are always advantages and disadvantages associated with being a cumdump. Advertising yourself as such is going to turn off a subset of guys. Why? Because they think you are disease ridden. I have looked at some guys and wondered if they have been tested for anything. Let's face it. Most of us want as much bb sex as we can get WITHOUT catching something. 

Personally, I like to know what I'm dealing with. If you a poz bb slut, then OWN it. But do understand that you may end up being single forever because many guys don't want to date or fall in love with a cumdump.

Some people on this site make it sound like their sole purpose in life is to maximise the number of sex partners they have. But the reality is, I think the majority of guys out here are motivated by competition and the hunt. We tend not to want something or value it if it's too easy. This is why I think the apps don't work well. There is no thrill anymore. We cast each other aside. We feel entitled to the best (or the best we can get). Deep down, I don't think bottoms want "community dick" and I am not convinced that tops out there place a premium on "community bottoms".  

So yes being a slutty bottom hurts your chances with certain tops. It always has and always will. I see more and more tops that now shame PrEP bottoms. Does a slutty bottom end up scoring more dick? Maybe. I think it depends on where you live, where you are (home, hotel, bar, sauna), your age, and your looks. I tend to present myself as somewhat upstanding in the city where I live and then head off to Berlin (just 1 hour away for me) to take loads in darkrooms.

Be whatever you are, and accept both the good and the bad that comes with it. Life is short. Fuck it. 

[Guest hungandmean]

When I was in my early 20s it definitely did. I didn't want to get caught out with friends and have some fucked up slutty bottom come up to me and be too friendly - even if I was breeding them after the club.

Once I hit 30 I stopped giving a shit though, and now at 32 it's pretty much a requirement you be a total no limits slut to even begin to hold my interests.

[bihairy]

I love topping a good slut bottom. The sex is great and it makes me less embarrassed that I’m a slut top. 

Dont forget tops can be sluts too. I’m a proud sex addicted bb top and love breeding and seeding holes. My motto “just do it” cum deep, cum often with no pull outs!

[NLbear]

19 hours ago, hungandmean said:

When I was in my early 20s it definitely did. I didn't want to get caught out with friends and have some fucked up slutty bottom come up to me and be too friendly - even if I was breeding them after the club.

Once I hit 30 I stopped giving a shit though, and now at 32 it's pretty much a requirement you be a total no limits slut to even begin to hold my interests.

Actually, when I was in my 20s my friends didn't know I was cruising the park at night looking for sex. The only ones at the clubs who knew were the ones who would be there themselves. When I saw them I knew I would see them later on at the park and they knew they could have my ass at the park if they or I wouldn't hook up with someone else first. Like I didn't tell my friends they wouldn't admit to their friends where they knew me from. Sure, I had guys come up to me at the clubs who I recognized as friends of those who fucked me in the park so they must have been told I was "easy" (without telling them how they knew I guess) but at that time I was picky at the club (looking for a sexy potential bf) and didn't care who fucked me in the park (just looking for sex) ;-) Never felt it hurt me in any way though as my reputation as a slutty bottom was only with those who were looking for quick anon sex themselves. And at the time I didn't mind that.

Now I couldn't care less. I don't have a partner, just a few fuckbuddies and anon hook-ups and for the moment that is fine by me.

 

[raunchycumslut]

There seems to be a serious contradiction in what a lot of tops seek. They want a bottom who will take their cock and cum after 5 minutes of chatting on an app/hookup site, but don't want that bottom to be willing to take other men's cocks and cum so easily; they want a guy who will be a cumdump for THEM but not other men. Plus, slutty bottoms seem to face way more stigma than slutty tops. I think it all mirrors how in the straight world, men are free to fuck around with (almost) no shame, but when women do it, they get slut-shamed. It seems to be fine to penetrate as many other people as you want, but if you like to be penetrated, you're not supposed to sleep around. Total bullshit. Then again, when I was in my early 20s, I knew men (some pursued me) who liked having their boy be a total cumdump, but would freak out and break up with them if they caught anything/got pozzed; like the bottom is supposed to be a true cumdump but magically stay neg (this was back in the days before PREP).

That all said, while they are definitely a minority, there are plenty of tops who like their bottoms to be total bareback poz sluts. I've had negative tops (even "straight" married men) say they love poz (undetectable) bottoms the best; as a top, sex is very low risk for them, the sex is (usually) as nasty/wild as they want it, and they don't have to pay/work for it (like they do with most women and condom-nazi bottoms).

Edited December 15, 2017 by raunchycumslut

[fucknfeedme]

I think the most important thing is to be honest to yourself. Some of us are just cumdump subs. It is who we are and to try to be something different will only bring unhappiness. Embrace yourself and be happy.