My BF and the Decision

[Eluric98]

My boyfriend, which is poz, and me talked a few weeks ago about pozing me. 

It was his idea. At this moment was like "hell no", but after the last weeks i got familiar with this idea. 

We fuck both each other bareback since 2 years now. 

We go together to the medical center for our regulary tests. So I know what would come to me. 

 

He will respect my decision. If I say "no" he will stay on meds. If I say "yes" he would go off his meds after the next test. 

 

I know that this is stupid, but I think I will let him do this. 

[leatherpunk16]

And how do YOU feel about it? It's great that he wants to share that bond with you. But time works terrible changes, and you might not stay together. Perhaps you will come to resent him for infecting you. There's lots of ways this could go.

Ultimately, it's about what YOU want. 

[Eluric98]

14 minutes ago, leatherpunk16 said:

And how do YOU feel about it? It's great that he wants to share that bond with you. But time works terrible changes, and you might not stay together. Perhaps you will come to resent him for infecting you. There's lots of ways this could go.

Ultimately, it's about what YOU want. 

First, as I wrote, I was like "nevet ever". 

But the thoughts about this worked for weeks. Now Im a little step away from this decision. 

When I think about it, I got rock hard. 

 

The only thing which stopped me is, that it is a permanent decision. 

 

[PupLucca]

It truly depends on how you feel about it. Your initial response was no so what changed your mind or has you considering to become poz? If it’s peer pressure don’t do it. If being poz is still something you want then go for it.  But, remember the choice is always yours

[tallslenderguy]

i get the intimate and romantic angle. i have a deep desire to bond with a special someone and i think it is a natural Top/bottom drive to want to impregnate and be impregnated (conversely). 

That said, we are talking about a disease that is potentially deadly if one is not on meds. Getting HIV will not ensure an ongoing bond between the giver and receiver, but it will ensure an ongoing bond with a pharmaceutical company. 

There are lots of ways two guys can experience the insemination/impregation bond. Piss comes to mind. To me, a Tops piss is a second form of semen that He can seed and impregnate you with. If you hold a Tops piss inside of you, you will absorb it.  When you pee, you will even smell His piss mixed with your pee. There are so many ways two guys can experience a natural bond... i don't think a disease is a good bonding choice. 

[chargedodger]

I think its a beautiful thing possibly,but make the decission independant of relationship longevity.As a neg man chasing I really see the potential here for an extraordinary bonding experience.:)

[Guest]

I was pozzed by  a man who I met anonymously one summer. He fucked me about 6 times, always raw. We never discussed status and the sex was incredibly passionate and intense. It wasn't until I got the fuck flu that I realized he pozzed me. Unfortunately he disappeared and I never saw him again, but I will never forget our sex which was made all the more intense as it resulted in me being pregnant...I often wonder how much more intense our sex would have had I known he was knocking me up...

that being said its a tough decision...i have no regrets but im lucky to have great insurance and being poz has been liberating. If you really love each other I'm sure the act of being pozzed will be unforgettable 

[poztwinksrhot]

It should be all about you.  Yes, he's your BF, but how many BFs have you had over the years?  Is he going to be your BF/husband five years from now?  In the same way that getting a BF's name tattooed on yourself is a bad idea, so is becoming poz because a BF suggests it.  Tattoos can be removed (painfully), but a poz diagnosis can't.

If you yourself want to be poz, get incredibly boned over the idea, can't get it out of your head, have researched it, and know you will be able to obtain affordable meds (assuming your choice is to go on meds, which it sounds like is likely), then by all means, go for it.  You'll find a lot of people to support your decision here.  If it were me though, I would let the decision simmer for at least six months or more and make sure that it's really a long-term passion of your own, and not just something you're doing to please him.  If he's still into you after you tell him you're either not doing it, or not doing it right now but maybe later, then that's a good sign for your relationship.

Edited December 7, 2021 by poztwinksrhot

[EricX]

I suggest you contact an administrator and ask them to move this thread to the back room, lest you get hit with a penalty. 

[BootmanLA]

I realize you only briefly summarized your discussions, but there's a lot missing.

You say the idea to poz you came from him. Why? Has he given you reasons why he wants you pozzed? Do you agree with those reasons?

Do you WANT to be poz yourself, or are you doing this for him? Would you want to be poz if he dumped you next month and you were single, looking for a potential partner? Because there's no guarantee your relationship will last forever, or even until next week.

You say you know what's coming if you do convert. You only know what you've seen from him. Have you researched whether (where you live) you will have affordable access to health care? Here in the U.S., where the health care system is highly fragmented, if you don't have insurance from an employer, you would need a private policy to cover your medication costs - are you insured?

I see all sorts of things that you need to consider if you haven't already. As I said, you may have, but your terse messages don't give any sign these are things you've thought through.

[billy88666]

I agree with the majority of the guys here. Unless you were a chaser before your boyfriend implanted this idea in your head, the answer should be a definite NO to his suggestion. I'm trying to understand your motives for considering conversion. Is it to prove to your boyfriend that you love him and would do anything to make him happy and to cement your relationship?..... Is it the thrill of becoming toxic?.... Is it because you consider it to be the most intimate thing you can share?......... You really need to give the matter long and serious thought. Many here have already discussed the potential financial hardship you could suffer. 

If your boyfriend left you tomorrow would you still be in the same frame of mind? Someone suggested waiting for 6 months to see if you are still as excited at the prospect of being positive. I'm sure you have many friends that buy a new car or the latest mobile phone for the 10 minute feel good factor. The next day they'll be looking for the next thing to give them a thrill. Just remember that HIV is for keeps. I Never condemn any man for making a conscious decision to convert but I get the feeling that your motives are for the wrong reason.

Your body your choice....

[RubberAustria]

Hi!

It is your decision. But what if your next partner want‘s you to be a fist pig? The following husband want‘s you to be his urinal? Your next lover insists on eating his ehhhm whatever. You always say yes, my master? But: It is your decision.

[drscorpio]

5 hours ago, EricX said:

I suggest you contact an administrator and ask them to move this thread to the back room, lest you get hit with a penalty. 

Moderator's Note: At this point, the discussion is fine in Sexual Health. If we move it to the Backroom, @Eluric98 will most likely only get encouragement for getting pozzed. He seems to want to weigh both sides of the issue, and this area is the place for that discussion. 

[Treehugger]

Its all about choices. Right not you have the choice of infecting yourself with HIV. After you convert your choices suddenly narrow. That starts with health care and navigating the system. HIV meds are crazy expensive. Will you have good healthcare?

     Have you ever thought of getting life insurance? How about moving to another state? Changing jobs? It all gets more complicated or impossible depending on how you choose to deal with your HIV.

     Right now you choose to be with your boyfriend. What if that changes? Are you comfortable telling the men you might date you have HIV? Some men won't want anything to do with you.

     I watched my first lover, a boyfriend and my best friend die from complications with HIV. The drugs work wonders but they are not a cure. The medications have side effects. Some men respond wonderfully, others not so much. It's a gamble. Are you a gambling man? 

     

[Eluric98]

Thank you guys for your opinion. I appreciate it. 

 

Today my Bf and me talked again about this. I asked him for this. 

I came to the conclusion, that, if he wants to do it, he has my permission. 

 

So he will stop taking his meds. Our sex will be the same as before. Nothing special just that he will give me his poz seed and convert me maybe in the next 6 month.