What annoys you most about gay porn.

[hungry_hole]

13 hours ago, NLbear said:

Whimpering screaming bottoms. You're a man, take it like a man!

There are other things that piss me off in porn but, a whimpering screaming bottom is one of those turn-offs that usually make me stop watching.

I want to hear the top or, some sort of kinky sex talk between the top and the bottom. Otherwise, especially as the top is getting ready to unload, I want to hear the top's breathing, grunting, moaning, or words he utters as he pumps his load in the bottom's hole.  In porn, I want the bottom to shut up because at this moment, a whimpering screaming bottom is just annoying background noise that's is interfering  with the top's hot audio.

 

[hermarbi]

Pulling out to cum and leaving,  Moaning incessantly and extended cock sucking to name but a few! 

[viking8x6]

Lousy audio: Horrible music (that's almost any of it, in porn), random background noise (sirens, machinery, you name it), can't hear the noises the participants are making... I could go on and on.

Porn that's entirely (or almost entirely) closeup shots of dick-in-orifice, so you wouldn't know it's actually people fucking.

Porn where the performers seem bored or mechanical, or the same fucking action continues unvaried for an extended period (3 minutes of pumping at the same speed and angle is more than plenty, gentlemen!)

[Guest]

That its rarely inclusive or original?

Instead its machine made cookie cutter...

- white powdered sugar porn, where each guy looks like the other
----- Next! Thank you, we'll call you later. Oh, I'm so Sorry, You're not the guy who just finished auditioning? Such similarities. Miss Tessmocker hire them both immediately!

- chocolate chocolate chippy porn, where it would be awesome to have more contrast
----- Lighting! Where's the lighting guy? What do you mean we have all the lights on full. Look, Can you see my hand? Oh, the lights are on full. Now shooting the scene outside!

-  twinkie and submissive snickerdoodle porn, a fresh new batch daiky
----- I did what he told me. I wa a bad bad boy. Those Twinkies I had made me do it too.

- daddy whole oat oatmeal porn, watch it regularly and be satisfied
----- Grandpa Brimley will you tell me a story about your days in the Navy? And can I sit on your lap? I like it when you raise the flag underneath me.

- and last the packaging is always the same location or script porn
----- Ok Ive booked the bar from 1PM  to 2PM for the fuck scene. We have to be out by 2 because TIM rented it from 2 to 3. HotDesertNights had better be finished at 1 or they will have screwed up the entire day of shooting. Where's the script? Guy comes out of enclosure, other guy stares him down rubbing his crotch, other guy licks his lips... OMG This film will be so unique people will be talking about it for years.

What is it about Sketchy Sex.com's porn that I love?

Edited April 27, 2022 by StickyWetHole
Lots of type-o's

[BBSMKR]

A bit of a lazy reply, but I hate the plastic formulation of a lot of studio porn. Start with doggy,  bit of cowboy then finish with missionary, oh and silly storylines, ye ok we know he’s not your brother!  You can get over familiar with some like Rhyheim,  but you do know your going to get great filming and intense sex. More of this kind of porn please!

[BannedWord]

With apologies to StickyWetHole for borrowing his format.

• Situations that are obviously incredibly contrived.
  • Sure, that always happens that way in the real world. Right. Totally believable (not).
• Lazy dialog.
  • I'm not asking for Shakespearian-level thespians, but give the scene some fucking effort, ffs.
• The same stark bright porn sets. In. Every. Single. Porn. Film. Ever.
  • White walls, white couch, light rugs, full-on sunlight. total lack of contrast. If you're asking people to 'pay for porn', make it worth paying for.
• Every movie having a black actor being the BBD to a white submissive Twink half the guy's size.
  • (yawn) Every movie ever done. Even worse when they portray the black guy as thuggish to perpetuate the stereotype.
• Give me some build up that's more realistic than one guy kneading the other's crotch like he's making bread from 15 seconds into the scene.
  • Yeah, I know this is boring, but if you're just going straight to the sex, I'll scroll directly to each different part of the scene. And no, I didn't read Playboy for the articles, either.
• Quit making this formulaic step-by-step fuck:
  • Blow job, then reciprocation, then ATM, followed by fucking, then position change, then side-by-side, then cowboy, then missionary, followed by the bottom jacking himself off, then finally the external money shot. 
• Proctology camera angles, for lack of a better term.
  • ok, I get it, but the entire scene?!? FFS. 
• Dad/son porn where both actors are about the same age, give or take a year.
  • Yeah, totally believable for a "step-dad" who's about the same age as the son. Sure. Who's buying it?

Basically, if the version of porn being put out feels like every pop song with autotune since 2010...Yeah, not feeling it.

[evilalex]

I'm only interested in gay group raunchy bareback fucking pornos. Watching one on one fucking just feels boring to me. If I'm watching professional fucking I want to see some cool tricks.

[PERVERSATILE]

What annoys you most about gay porn?

The general lack of Robot themed storylines

When the title is totally misleading. Like "Be Gay! Do Crimes!''  it's just a bunch of Random Butt Fuckery instead of Hot Guys in Disguises Stealing Jewels. Or doing other Felonious Activities like faking your own death & Committing Insurance Fraud  

When the guys in the porn are watching porn of guys fucking and watching porn. And I'm watching them all fucking and watching porn and then Stephen Hawking shows up and tells me I broke Time again, and he's really getting tired of this shit.

That Cockman & Throbbin wasn't a hugely successful franchise.

When somebody starts to wax poetically about their childhood and the screen goes all wobbly and cuts to a sepia-colored shot of the same actor, but he's wearing Garanimals and a funny propeller beanie hat, getting Butt Fucked on a Tricycle by a Clown at his little sister's birthday party, and that is what passes for Narrative Exposition these days! I'm still rock hard but now I'm also pissed off and confused.

Bennie Hill Music

Edited April 28, 2022 by PERVERSATILE

[ErosWired]

5 minutes ago, PERVERSATILE said:

Bennie Hill Music

Amen to that.

[ejaculaTe]

Many of the aspects of gay porn that I find tiresome have already been listed. Of course, I have a few that no one has yet mentioned.

• Related to the deficient dialog issue is the bottom whose vocabulary of erotic words is limited to fuck, delivered at various volumes and tone and supplemented by an occasional interjection. Tops don't get a pass on this count either; an actor who played in several Active Duty videos repeatedly uttered the same phrase whenever he was nailing a guy, and he did so in every video I saw (5 of them). 
• Sexual activity occurring in the kitchen, the bottom being placed on his back on the countertop or the island. Who in their right mind would lay on a quartz countertop in order to get fucked?
• Tops who, while screwing a guy on a sofa, push the guy into the corner of the sofa, the guy's head ending up under the cushions.
• Scenes occurring in bathrooms that are almost as big as my house. 
• Incomprehensible voice tracks. The dialog and erotic utterances might not be Pulitzer Prize quality, but don't place the microphone that only one actor's voice is clear and the other person comes across as wisps of noise. 
• Music tracks playing far too loud (except in the case of vintage porn).

That should do it for now. Maybe I should watch some videos to make sure I didn't leave something off the list.

[BlackDude]

17 hours ago, ErosWired said:

 

  a. Dubbed sex sounds out of sync with the action

  3. Scenes that cut off before orgasm

Both of these drive me nuts too.

I also forgot guys who don’t realize they aren’t the star. You got some bottom taking loads, or guys are into something hot, and along comes some dude who should be a bit player or dump and go, laying on the bed trying to bottom and do the most.

[rock-cock-jock]

Same, I hate what porn has become nowadays. This might be controversial but I think the #1 most annoying thing about porn is that it is now overly filtered, moderated and restricted. I believe strongly in the freedom of the internet and the idea of what it was meant to be - the free sharing of information. Now, to be fair, I accept the validity of the argument that some aspects endanger public safety and that there do need to be hard limits but it bothers me that these limits can be so heavily swayed by these religious anti-porn lobbying groups. For example, the pornhub cleanse 2 years ago was because of this, which by the way disenfranchised thousands of online sex workers in the midst of a pandemic with zero remuneration. I'm annoyed that porn has progressively become overly sanitized under the guise of making us safer but really, it's censorship masquerading as public safety.

[BannedWord]

12 hours ago, PERVERSATILE said:

Bennie Hill Music

That gets funny when you either run the porn at double/triple-speed or backward...which is a fun stand-by with standard porn that bores me to death. 

8 hours ago, rock-cock-jock said:

For example, the pornhub cleanse 2 years ago was because of this, which by the way disenfranchised thousands of online sex workers in the midst of a pandemic with zero remuneration. 

It made PornHub suck all the way around -- there's maybe 3/4 of videos that are now gone, and what's left is pretty much crap or self-produced webcam videos of people you'd be hard-pressed to feel are worth the trouble (i.e. can I get a refund of time for the 6 minutes I just lost watching that?).

[PendragonSpirit]

Fake cum. Just... *gestures broadly* fake. cum.

[gwmxyz]

Almost everything.  Does the black guy have to be top? Can't they ever break the big cock/ugly face ratio? Do the white guys have to be orange? Does the whole thing have to be so predictable and unreal?
Oh and that bit at the beginning when they talk - not as bad as the acting maybe but still pretty pointless...

I'd rather watch something real any day...