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As a poz guy, I have a right to my opinion about PrEP and I have a right to express it. It doesn't bother me at all if others don't agree with my position or my right to express it. Admittedly, I'm still rather new to the concept of PrEP. If it helps guys stay neg, great! I do think a neg guy should consider all points of view before making the jump. I don't really like this idea of trying to discredit or silence any critic of anything. I guess I'm a firm believer in the fact that truth (and science) eventually prevail. Trying to silence or discredit people reminds me of that trick in courtrooms when a hooker is put on the stand and her credibility is questioned because she's a hooker. Wait, hookers can't tell the truth? Now here's what I am still trying to wrap my brain around. When I first pozzed several years ago, Truvada was one of the meds I was put on. Fast forward to 2014 - I ask myself, would I have been willing to have a frank and open discussion with a medical professional about having unsafe sex with multiple partners - hoping that he/she would tell me that there is this drug that poz people take that I can take and it will help me stay neg? That takes a lot of courage. Would I have been willing to try and get my insurance provider to pay for it? Or find another way to subsidize it? Besides, I thought the whole point of being neg was not having to take meds and behave as if I were poz. Hmmm. But that ain't my business though... I really don't think this is a case of me being a "hater". What would I get out of hating? I am a healthy poz pig who had no side effects from the drugs I was put on. I pop my now one pill a day and get on with it. I let the neg guys worry about staying neg. I'm past all that dread of going to the clinic, worrying and waiting and wondering. Now I do understand - somewhat - why there is such huge backlash from many gays about neg guys who are proudly saying they are on PrEP. It has to do with perception. And most people's perception of your sexual practices does (unfortunately) cause them to judge you. I'm even trying to look at this through a different lens. If a young woman goes on the pill so she can avoid severe cramping during her period, the pill is hailed as a miracle. But if people think that same young woman is going on the pill so she can fuck a zillion guys, guess what? She's a diseased whore, worthy of being looked down upon. In a nutshell, I'd never discourage anyone from getting on PrEP. Hell, do you boo. But I think it's asking too much to expect others to cheer you on. At best PrEP is probably another tool for the toolkit to help you hopefully stay neg. I do think it's questionable to push it like it's 100% effective when that is being disputed. By the way, one of my best friends - who is neg - is in a long-term relationship with a poz guy and he started PrEP recently. Now I didn't get all up in his business as to why, but perhaps it's because they were having unsafe sex and he wants to stay neg. I hope for his sake that it works because I do care about him.

You already regret it, which is why you are on a forum with complete strangers asking them for their support. What you do in the dark will eventually come to light. And when this or - something else unethical or immoral you are doing explodes in your face - remember this little episode right here. Karma is a bitch! Allow your boyfriend to find someone decent who loves and accepts him the way he is and isn't placing his health at risk. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. But living a lie requires hiding in the shadows, looking over your shoulder and eventually having to face yourself and the consequences of your actions.

Most guys your age think they know everything but as someone who is older and wiser, my only wish for you is that you think about and plan what you will do if/when you become HIV positive. You will need to get on meds or risk becoming very sick. Or perhaps you could already now start on PRep (do some research on that now). The best part about being young is that you feel you've got your whole life in front of you (and you do) but trust me, the choices you make now will affect the options you will have later. Go to school or learn a trade. You are more than just your looks and your body. You can always be a ho. And I don't think you deserve any special awards for barebacking at 11. #fixitjesus

This scene reminds me of that thread about prison sex where people fantasize about how hot it is/could be. To me nothing is hot about being beat up or hurt and then penetrated by some guy I am not sexually attracted to. OK I wouldn't want to be beat up or hurt by someone I "was" attracted to!

To the OP: first take a deep breath. It's not that bad. It's never that bad. You have a lot going for you (e.g. youth, looks, mobility, intelligence etc). But you have a lot of stuff you need to sort out. A lot. You are struggling with race, your complexion, the fetishization of black men, being a (black) bottom in search of bb sex and the sexual frustration that entails, your geographical location, feeling excluded etc. Girl, pick a struggle! Just kidding. Let's talk about what you can't control. You can't change your race or your complexion. You can't control the hang-ups other people have about your race or complexion. Blame the media and blame porn - which are controlled by white men - for that. Please don't waste your time being upset about that. It is unlikely to change in your lifetime. Now here's what you can control. You can move to another place. You can get out and meet people. You can stop marketing yourself a certain way to a demographic that isn't interested in what you are selling. You can pop a pill and explore being a versatile bottom - you might be surprised by the number of guys who will flip fuck. Perhaps you can travel. Seeking bareback sex only is going to further limit the number of guys who are interested in you. It's akin to going on a search engine like booking.com and saying I want a five star hotel in a particular city with free wifi, a spa, and parking. Try that and see how quickly your options dwindle. Guys might be willing to bareback with you once they get to know you. But you've got to lose the sense of entitlement. You said, "I'm good-looking, I'm tall, I'm lean." Well that's nice, but pretty horses don't win races, fast ones do. You didn't mention if you were poz. If you are, that makes things even trickier. And most guys will assume that if you're barebacking, you're poz and that you have no control over. But if you take nothing else away from this, learn to love and accept yourself and stop looking to others for validation. If a guy doesn't like how you look, there are others that do. Focus on them. And as easy as these apps and hook up sites have made it for certain groups to have sex, you must look beyond those. Get out and talk to people. Let them see you. Travel if you can. Meet people of different social and ethnic backgrounds. Although I grew up in the US, I have been living in Europe the last 15 years. I wouldn't trade it for anything. There's racism here too but it doesn't bother me nearly as much. Countries that have a history of slavery/colonialism tend to marginalize black men. I do realize that my life has been pretty unusual for a black male from the South. I live abroad. I am very well educated. I speak 4 languages. I have a very good job and an income that allows me to travel the world. But when I travel, I take notes. And I have a very sexy (white) bf who is a versatile top who is just as piggy as me. But none of these things fell into my lap. I made sacrifices, I took chances and I had some very good luck. I didn't sit back and let life happen to me, nor did I wallow in self-pity. I am the master of my own destiny. By the way, I am writing this from Vienna, Austria where I took a couple of loads yesterday, with more to come.

I stopped counting. It would be easier to count raindrops! I couldn't guess the number of guys I've slept with to within one hundred if my LIFE depended on it. You know you're a ho when you see a guy someplace and he tells you he has fucked you, but you can't confirm or deny it.

I am in Paris for a long weekend. I didn't feel like having sex at all yesterday because it was so freaking hot outside. But today I scored cock from a variety of sources. The first guy who had a 9 incher was from Grindr - he fucked me silly and shot off in my mouth afterwards. Afterwards he told me that he really liked seeing my big ass bouncing all over his cock. Then I went to a sex cinema in Pigalle and got nailed in a nasty, piss smelling darkroom (why oh why?) by an Arab. But the best so far was a French-Canadian who just left my hotel room. I could tell him in French exactly what I needed and how he was making my hole feel. When he announced he was about to cum, I clamped down on his cock and milked him dry. Then to show him how real pigs get down, I sucked him clean. After he left, I pushed out his load and ate it. Now I am wondering where can I go tonight to continue my cum-catching activities.

Just wanted to add here that I've asked tops who fucked me if they came inside me and I have gotten a clear "no". I go to the toilet later and "voila". It just makes me believe that people are probably shocked at the question and lie because they want to avoid a potentially awkward situation or being judged. Unfortunately these things happen when you hook up with guys for anonymous sex.

At a sex party I go to regularly, there is this guy who loves to walk up to guys and ram his cock in. He doesn't want the guy to use any lube. If he sees a guy try to apply lube, he walks away. He's done it to me a couple of times. If I have been fucked and have loads in me, I allow it because I am attracted to him, but I do find the behavior rather troubling to be honest. He always has this big grin on his face when he does it, which makes me think he's some kind of sadist. Maybe a few of us should gang up on him at the party and give him a dose of his own medicine.

To the OP: I understand why you are puzzled somewhat, but come on now, we all know that guys play word and mind games to get what they want. If you don't want a preloaded hole then you have to say that upfront. And even if you ask the question point blank, you still might not get an honest answer because of: 1) where you met the guy (BBRT) and 2) he said that he was looking for a dump and go scene. If a guy is presenting himself to you that way, then he is presenting himself to EVERYBODY that way. You were nothing special for him. Just another guy with a cock that wanted to cum in a hole. I think if you were a regular fuckbud, you might be treated a little differently but that guy was after loads that day. He probably thought it increased his chances to score more dick by being vague than to be very clear and miss out on yet another dick. I'm not coming down on you for feeling the way you did about the situation, but I sometimes think we (collectively) expect too much integrity from casual sex partners. You didn't know this guy at all, and were willing to fuck him raw and cum in him. That also says something about you. And that's not a read. It's a total waste of time and energy to try and hold people in these sorts of situations to such high standards. Hope for the best and expect the worst is what I always say. And one more thing: I do think that bottom was trifling. How much effort is it to walk to the toilet, push out the loads, wipe and or wash your ass before presenting it to the next guy?

I've had a few married guys in my day but I encourage gay guys to not give up on looking for meaningful relationships with other gay men. Becoming preoccupied with married guys can be a distraction. At the end of the day, married guys are just using you as a receptacle for their cum. Keep in mind that the wife and kids do allow the married guy to have companionship and love in their lives. What are you getting out of it? Hoes are a dime a dozen. I stopped fucking a married guy (who still contacts me) because I decided that it was unfair for him to maintain this double life and reach out to me only when his balls were full. So basically I can't have your dick when I want it, but you think I should drop everything I'm doing and give you some ass because you happen to be free today? Oh I don't think so (rolls eyes). I'm in a relationship now which is open. Technically, I would fuck a married dude. But only when it works for me.

I would not tell my status until I was sure he had feelings for me. Why the rush? That being said, you do have to play safe until you are ready to disclose. You are in a delicate phase right now. Don't add extra drama to your life right now.

I would advise you to buy a clear butt plug, some lube and some poppers. Search this forum for tips on how to clean out properly. And then over the summer break, find a bottom and do everything to the bottom that the professor has been doing to you. Even better if the guy is versatile.

This sounds like it could backfire big time. As in somebody with a mean streak making sure you never do this again. And the worst part is, many would say you got what you deserved. No-shows are part of the hassle of trolling for sex. Don't inconvenience yourself so much and don't inconvenience them. Maybe your success rate improves.

Welcome back. You'll be just fine man. When I first seroconverted, the best thing I did was befriend a poz guy (no sex) and I asked him a million questions. Once I calmed down and became undetectable, he started planting his seed in me. Still in touch to this day.

After you get on PrEP, please let your next stop be a therapist's couch. #noshade

There's this big misconception out there that couples have to share everything with each other and it's simply not true. In fact, I would go as far to say that we all need a zone of privacy. Not allowing people to have this is what leads to the lies and deceit. Your bf shouldn't have been having bb sex without telling you, but that's water under the bridge now. I think you should open the relationship and opt for a don't ask don't tell approach. That being said, you do need to be respectful towards to each other and agree on a few ground rules.

Don't say anything. And stop barebacking if you don't want to get infected and/or get on Prep. There are plenty of people who think they are probably neg, but are poz. You knew what you were doing and what the risks are. Stop trying to make this about him. It's about you. You dodged the bullet. So stop playing with loaded guns.

Talk to him about your desire to play with others. He might feel the same way. It does take time to figure out how to negotiate an open relationship. Most people think it's simply about having sex with anyone whenever you feel like it. I can tell you that it's not. Put some rules in place and revisit them regularly.

My bf walked up on me yesterday getting nailed bb on the beach. Even though he knows I get fucked raw by others, it is still kind of awkward when it's confirmed for him. I think he was pissed, but then he went up into the dunes and got nailed. So I guess we were even after that. LOL.

I am on vacation with my bf near Albufeira in Portugal. We went to the gay beach on Sunday for an afternoon of sun and fun. The bf went first into the dunes and came back happy. I went myself for about an hour and was fucked three times. The best was from this local guy with a big dick. I poppered up and he fucked me raw until he dropped his load. When I got back to where my bf was, I told him what I did and he fucked me right there on the beach in front of other guys and added another load.

@originalposter: I think this is the guy you have written about here so many times before. Your "friend" has got you exactly where he wants you. He knows you are sexually attracted to him and you are desperately yearning for companionship and sex from him. You are probably not willing to use the services of an escort for a variety of reasons (e.g. you feel your looks don't warrant it or it just doesn't feel right) but what your "friend" is doing to you is far worse than what an escort would do. Why can't you just block this guy and find another guy? Or if you are willing to pay for things like trips then make it clear upfront how much you are willing to spend? There are no boundaries here. And I think he has played the game many times with you where he said no sex, and then suddenly wants to use you as a backup dick when he can't find another guy. Just end this nonsense. Please? I am really starting to feel sorry for you. You have been doing this for two years now and your only "outlet" is to come here and ask for sympathy from strangers. And then you go right back to doing what you are doing. Given the ratio of tops to bottoms, there are plenty of guys that would let you fuck them for free. But you are letting this guy fuck YOU and your head in the process. If you are not willing to listen to anything I have said, then you would at least have to agree with the statement that you actually like what is happening. I can't think of any other reason why someone who appears to be intelligent enough to express his feelings in words would keep making the same mistake.

Bunker didn't work for me but I got what I was looking for at Cine Atlas in Pigalle. Not for the timid though. Watch out for pickpockets. I left there full of spunk. Was there on a Friday afternoon.

I've attended three biohazard parties in Berlin, all in different places since 2011. Except for maybe the first one, the locale was not big enough for the number of people they let in. If you are the least bit claustrophobic, you should probably pass on the party. At times, you simply cannot move. And it gets very hot (temperature wise) so keep that in mind. I'm also not a big fan of parties where there is really no way to shower or wash up. Dicks are going from ass to ass to ass and you're just hoping and praying that the guys have cleaned out well.

Agree with your last post poz1956. No mandatory testing. It's a slippery slope that could be applied to other areas of one's life. As an individual I do have a right to privacy and your wish to know about my health does not trump my right to decide if I want to share it with you. I know plenty of people in the US who have missed out on getting jobs because of their credit history. Or because of what they are posting on Facebook. So what if a potential employer wanted to know if you were poz? The story above about people trolling for raw sex but not wanting to really know if you are poz or neg is very real. So it's best to tell them what they want to hear. But throw in there that if they are really concerned, they should go get tested with a partner and stop relying on stupid lingo like DDF and clean. Guys will say whatever they need to for a fuck. The really honest ones are in the minority. In an example of how tides are perhaps turning against the safe sex nazis, I was at a sex party in a sauna last night. The owner of the place has a deft strategy of giving the bare backers a wrist band so that they can easily identify who else wants to fuck raw. If you see a hot guy with no band, and you want to fuck raw, you pass him on by. And trust me, if you see another guy over in the corner with a bracelet taking loads, it attracts more loads. At one point I ended up in an area with 6 guys and we were drilling and seeding each other like crazy. It was so hot.