bbzh

I'd like to see the gay health clinics place even more emphasis on education and testing and less on preaching and trying to scare the whores. If you are bb'ing on a regular basis with different guys, you are going to catch something at some point even if you have no symptoms. That's just reality. I'd like to see these clinics put sexually active guys on a cycle of regular 3 month check-ups for an attractive price, spread the word on the new nasties out there and focus on removing the stigma around getting checked. After all, you WANT the whores visiting the clinic to stop the spread of disease, no?

I've been there for Folsom. Very nice. I prefer to hit the bars and the backrooms. I've tried a few of those bb parties. They are too crowded for my tastes, too hot temperature-wise and there is no possibility to shower - in other words, a perfect environment to score a lot of dick and ass but also a perfect environment to hit the lottery with the various STDs.

I think one's age and general state of health come into play here. If you're 30, you might feel more invincible health-wise and say I'll take the meds and stay poz so I can bareback as much as I want. But I would imagine that someone older who is starting to have to deal with other age-related illnesses might take the HIV cure and slow down sexually because the one thing that hasn't been really researched is what these HIV meds are doing to one's body over the long term and how they interact with drugs for other conditions. I've said it on other threads and I'll say it here, barebackers are so fixated on HIV and PRep and are turning a blind eye to Hepatitis C, which is running rampant in the community. And while there is a cure, it costs $60,000. But you can get Hepatitis again and again particularly if you are into group sex, fisting, rough sex. You can live many years with hep C before it kills you, but do you really want an insurance company deciding if your life is worth saving? Or saying oh we'll let the virus eat his liver alive until the cost of the drugs come down. I've been thinking for a while here that this forum needs a thread where we list out all the diseases barebackers are at risk for and then talk about treatment options and costs. There is far too much time spent glorifying giving and taking loads and not enough on how to take care of ourselves. It's really no laughing matter.

This really boils down to how much risk you are willing to take and how likely you are to have access to treatment if you need it. Is a night of wild sex taking multiple loads worth $63,000? http://www.fiercepharma.com/story/payers-hit-back-gilead-94500-price-tag-brand-new-hep-c-combo-pill/2014-10-13 You can vigorously debate if the pharma companies should be charging this much for treatment, but once Hep C starts subtracting years from your life, you can't debate that. I wonder if the rationale for holding off on treating it has to do with insurers looking at the risk profile of the infected person. If I was the CEO of an insurance company, would I want to keep paying the bill for someone's sex life or spread that cost to the other insureds, thus resulting in higher premiums for everyone? Hmmm. Maybe not.

Man, Tiger, you are lucky if your doc will get you $63,000 worth of medication!!! http://www.fiercepharma.com/story/payers-hit-back-gilead-94500-price-tag-brand-new-hep-c-combo-pill/2014-10-13 But this introduces yet another angle in this debate. Who should foot the bill? How much is your life worth? How much is your health worth? It really does sadden me that such a potentially deadly virus can be eradicated, but insurers want to wait until your liver implodes before they give it to you.

I've been doing a lot of reading on Hep C. What I have been learning is very fascinating indeed. I used to think it was only something IV-drug users needed to worry about but barebackers are at high risk. HIV can't live outside the body for any length of time, but apparently the Hep C virus can. I am having a long and hard think about whether I'll be participating in any more sex parties. I've seen too many guys go from hole to hole without even wiping their dicks off. I know it's a bit of a killjoy to think about such things and sometimes it's just easier to live in denial, but how sobering is it to think that at a sex party, 1 in 4 guys probably have Hep C? Many of the other STIs are easy to clear up if you catch them, but Hep C is not one of them. You are talking anywhere from 12 to 24 weeks of treatment and potentially nasty side effects. (OK treatment times are less and there are few side effects if your insurer is willing to fork over the $80K for the new anti-virals such as Sovaldi or Harvoni). If you are already poz, there are the drug interactions which come into play. I don't think I'll be able to really feel at ease until there is a vaccine for it (and there has been some progress on this by the way). It's still true that HIV, if left untreated, will kill you faster than Hep C, but Hep C is the silent killer. And under no circumstances do you want both of them in your body.

Here a couple of interesting clips about HIV/Hep C co-infection:

I'm happy to see a post about this. Gay men seem far more interested in monitoring their HIV status than their Hep C status. And it is very easy to contract Hep C if you engage in fisting or group sex. I've even read a statistic that 1 in 4 HIV+ guys are Hep C positive and have no clue. The reason? Most Hep C positive guys are asymptomatic. Also Hep C is enough to worry about, but if you have HIV/Hep C co-infection, the progression to cirrhosis, liver disease or liver cancer is much faster. I could see how it could be very easily and quickly transmitted at a sex party. Let's assume a top or a bottom has had rough sex and the anal lining gets torn. The top passes it to him. Then the bottom passes it to the next top who fucks him. And so on and so on. The good news is that Hep C can be cured, but the drug companies are charging upwards of $1,000 per pill. The standard treatment is 12 weeks. Or $84,000. The insurance companies are asking doctors to warehouse patients until prices fall so only those who have sustained serious liver damage are getting the medication it seems. It's easy to lump all STD's in one category, but Hep C is the one that is silently attacking the barebacking community. Get tested!

The argument for taking a break - in my mind - is if I have something and I know I have something, why continue to pass it around? Because that one guy you knowingly give it to might fuck you again at some point and pass it right back to you...so I tend to look at the big picture. If more guys could be a little less selfish, then we'd all end up in the clinic a lot less.

He might be homeless but my gut tells me he might be a hustler. Hot story nevertheless.

1. People in slings (sling lizards) who are clearly not getting any action but are too stubborn to leave. 2. People who occupy cabins who are clearly not getting any action but are too stubborn to leave. 3. People who give looks of disgust to people they are not attracted to...I think this is uncalled for and I hope those same people feel that from others at some point in their lives 4. People who grope you or pursue you after you have made it clear you are not interested 5. People who are too "clique-y" at the bathhouse....I thought it was a place for sex, not a cafe or restaurant to meet your friends. 6. Saunas that don't have adequate cleaning out facilities... 7. Saunas that blare music too loudly. 8. Lazy sauna staff that are not regularly checking the cabins for cleanliness. 9. Timers on showers that are ridiculously short 10. Steam rooms that are not hot enough or too hot. Now you understand why I don't frequent saunas that much. LOL.

If the other guy says he is poz, I tell my status. I fuck mostly anonymously so it never comes up. And if it ever did, I would not disclose since I'm undetectable and sexually non-infectious. It's none of your business unless you take the time to get to know me. I wouldn't tell a trick my PIN code for my bank card, so I'm sure as hell not telling him my medical history. If he hesitates, I move on. There are plenty and I mean PLENTY of raw fuckers out here to choose from. I just don't have a lot of patience for people who want to serosort...I tell 'em quick, if you're worried, use a condom...but with someone else. Bye!

Show up with a dildo. If it comes out dirty, leave. That'll teach 'em. LOL.

It's a big dick if I am worried about how much damage it will do. :-) That being said, I can handle length better than I can handle thickness. My bf is 7.5 inches and that's all I can comfortably handle. Unless I am at a sex party, and have been well fucked, I will not even let the owners of 9 and 10 inch dicks anywhere near my hole. I think but don't say, "Find one of those bottoms whose pussies flap in the wind because you're not going to have me stressed out every time I go to take a shit for the next week." #justsayin' There is this one guy who tries to fuck me all the time. He has a 10 inch cock and it's pierced with rhinestones all the way down the shaft. Even if I had a replacement coochie in my bag, the answer would still be no...

Some dicks are simply off limits in my opinion. This sounds it might be one of them. Aren't there enough others to choose from? LOL And as it would not be an anonymous encounter, you'd have to play safe or disclose. That would be a tish awkward, no? The age of the guy is also a factor. If he's a teenager, then I vote definitely no. If he's in his early 20s, then maybe. If he is in his late 20s, fuck him. Hehe.

Nothing ruins relationships faster than money. As a general rule, I don't lend money. And if I do, I don't lend more than I can afford to lose. An even better ploy when people ask you for money is to not give them what they asked for - make it a much smaller amount and say it's a gift. Anyone can fall on hard times but if people fuck up their own finances, they really don't care about yours. As these are your parents, I am almost inclined to tell you to turn the other cheek and chalk this one up to experience. Sometimes the best revenge is to continue to do well. But that being said, if you want to take them to court, do so. Don't let me discourage you. Just understand that a court case is only going to further harm your relationship with them.

I thoroughly enjoyed learning about this. I will be sharing it with others.

wood: I sent you a private message as I think your comments are taking the thread off topic.

Exercising or dieting: 1) don't cost as much as PrEP and 2) don't require me to present myself for monthly screening just to get the drug. The challenge is adjusting to the idea of taking medication - which may have side effects - when you don't have a chronic condition and don't consider yourself "sick". The amount of testing being done just to continue getting PrEP is going to turn a lot of people away. Why? Because being screened for STIs does have a shaming aspect to it. "Hi Mr Smith, your results are back. You've got syphilis. You'll need a series of shots to clear that up. And here's your PrEP prescription. See you next month. Whore." Mr. Smith is going to have to be a pretty special character to withstand that kind of "pressure" on a monthly basis. I'm about as piggy as they come and I rarely catch anything. But still, during my visits to my HIV doctor every 6 months by the way, I get asked if I have had unprotected sex with anyone besides my bf. I usually fib and say "no" because I know I am being screened for everything anyway. One time I answered "yes" and the nurse was clearly disgusted. I thought hmm, I'll just lie next time. As I said in an earlier post, PrEP is going to take a beating in the court of public opinion because basically the gay community's sexual habits are going to undoubtedly become part of the debate. As long as HIV transmission rates remain under control for heterosexuals - i.e. the majority - PrEP is going to be a tough sell. The majority seldom wants to support or pay for something that benefits the minority. And unfortunately, those of us who live in democratic societies can't ask for an opt-out clause because we can't get majority support for something.

I have a natural aversion to popping pills. I prefer to take them only when something is wrong with me with the hope that I can eventually stop taking the pill. I take HIV meds because I have a chronic condition that I need to control. Medication as a prevention tool - which is what PrEP is - is a foreign concept to me. Let's say a drug was found to be effective against prostate cancer. Would I seek it out and take it proactively even though as an African-American male I am at a higher risk for prostate cancer? I don't know. Maybe I should. But first, neg guys have to be comfortable enough to initiate the discussion about PrEP with a doctor. Then there's the issue of medical professionals who may - because of their own beliefs about unsafe sex - not be supporters of PrEP who in turn use their position of authority to dissuade people. Let's face it, many people place a lot of weight on what doctors say. If your doctor says, no you are still at risk for contracting HIV, will you continue to shop for a doctor that tells you what you want to hear? Now there are people who will always believe science over people. But anybody who has some knowledge about statistics and the darker side of academia knows how very easily statistics can be manipulated to support a particular point of view. It's really hard to know who to believe sometimes. I remember clearly one of my professors at Harvard telling us to be wary of academics who craft their message FIRST and then float the numbers that support their claims. I am just cynical enough to believe that some anti-gay group or someone else with deep pockets would sponsor some dodgy research and then plant information in the mainstream media for unsuspecting people to consume as truth. People have agendas that they are trying to push and are often ruthless when doing so. That's just the way it is. Taking aim at poz people who are detractors of PrEP is a nonstarter. Just as an experiment, I recently told a guy who is into safe sex that I wanted to fuck raw and that I was on PrEP. He was not impressed at all. So, much work and education has to be done and this is going to be a long, drawn out campaign with lots of twists and and turns.

As a poz guy, I have a right to my opinion about PrEP and I have a right to express it. It doesn't bother me at all if others don't agree with my position or my right to express it. Admittedly, I'm still rather new to the concept of PrEP. If it helps guys stay neg, great! I do think a neg guy should consider all points of view before making the jump. I don't really like this idea of trying to discredit or silence any critic of anything. I guess I'm a firm believer in the fact that truth (and science) eventually prevail. Trying to silence or discredit people reminds me of that trick in courtrooms when a hooker is put on the stand and her credibility is questioned because she's a hooker. Wait, hookers can't tell the truth? Now here's what I am still trying to wrap my brain around. When I first pozzed several years ago, Truvada was one of the meds I was put on. Fast forward to 2014 - I ask myself, would I have been willing to have a frank and open discussion with a medical professional about having unsafe sex with multiple partners - hoping that he/she would tell me that there is this drug that poz people take that I can take and it will help me stay neg? That takes a lot of courage. Would I have been willing to try and get my insurance provider to pay for it? Or find another way to subsidize it? Besides, I thought the whole point of being neg was not having to take meds and behave as if I were poz. Hmmm. But that ain't my business though... I really don't think this is a case of me being a "hater". What would I get out of hating? I am a healthy poz pig who had no side effects from the drugs I was put on. I pop my now one pill a day and get on with it. I let the neg guys worry about staying neg. I'm past all that dread of going to the clinic, worrying and waiting and wondering. Now I do understand - somewhat - why there is such huge backlash from many gays about neg guys who are proudly saying they are on PrEP. It has to do with perception. And most people's perception of your sexual practices does (unfortunately) cause them to judge you. I'm even trying to look at this through a different lens. If a young woman goes on the pill so she can avoid severe cramping during her period, the pill is hailed as a miracle. But if people think that same young woman is going on the pill so she can fuck a zillion guys, guess what? She's a diseased whore, worthy of being looked down upon. In a nutshell, I'd never discourage anyone from getting on PrEP. Hell, do you boo. But I think it's asking too much to expect others to cheer you on. At best PrEP is probably another tool for the toolkit to help you hopefully stay neg. I do think it's questionable to push it like it's 100% effective when that is being disputed. By the way, one of my best friends - who is neg - is in a long-term relationship with a poz guy and he started PrEP recently. Now I didn't get all up in his business as to why, but perhaps it's because they were having unsafe sex and he wants to stay neg. I hope for his sake that it works because I do care about him.

You already regret it, which is why you are on a forum with complete strangers asking them for their support. What you do in the dark will eventually come to light. And when this or - something else unethical or immoral you are doing explodes in your face - remember this little episode right here. Karma is a bitch! Allow your boyfriend to find someone decent who loves and accepts him the way he is and isn't placing his health at risk. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. But living a lie requires hiding in the shadows, looking over your shoulder and eventually having to face yourself and the consequences of your actions.

Most guys your age think they know everything but as someone who is older and wiser, my only wish for you is that you think about and plan what you will do if/when you become HIV positive. You will need to get on meds or risk becoming very sick. Or perhaps you could already now start on PRep (do some research on that now). The best part about being young is that you feel you've got your whole life in front of you (and you do) but trust me, the choices you make now will affect the options you will have later. Go to school or learn a trade. You are more than just your looks and your body. You can always be a ho. And I don't think you deserve any special awards for barebacking at 11. #fixitjesus

This scene reminds me of that thread about prison sex where people fantasize about how hot it is/could be. To me nothing is hot about being beat up or hurt and then penetrated by some guy I am not sexually attracted to. OK I wouldn't want to be beat up or hurt by someone I "was" attracted to!

To the OP: first take a deep breath. It's not that bad. It's never that bad. You have a lot going for you (e.g. youth, looks, mobility, intelligence etc). But you have a lot of stuff you need to sort out. A lot. You are struggling with race, your complexion, the fetishization of black men, being a (black) bottom in search of bb sex and the sexual frustration that entails, your geographical location, feeling excluded etc. Girl, pick a struggle! Just kidding. Let's talk about what you can't control. You can't change your race or your complexion. You can't control the hang-ups other people have about your race or complexion. Blame the media and blame porn - which are controlled by white men - for that. Please don't waste your time being upset about that. It is unlikely to change in your lifetime. Now here's what you can control. You can move to another place. You can get out and meet people. You can stop marketing yourself a certain way to a demographic that isn't interested in what you are selling. You can pop a pill and explore being a versatile bottom - you might be surprised by the number of guys who will flip fuck. Perhaps you can travel. Seeking bareback sex only is going to further limit the number of guys who are interested in you. It's akin to going on a search engine like booking.com and saying I want a five star hotel in a particular city with free wifi, a spa, and parking. Try that and see how quickly your options dwindle. Guys might be willing to bareback with you once they get to know you. But you've got to lose the sense of entitlement. You said, "I'm good-looking, I'm tall, I'm lean." Well that's nice, but pretty horses don't win races, fast ones do. You didn't mention if you were poz. If you are, that makes things even trickier. And most guys will assume that if you're barebacking, you're poz and that you have no control over. But if you take nothing else away from this, learn to love and accept yourself and stop looking to others for validation. If a guy doesn't like how you look, there are others that do. Focus on them. And as easy as these apps and hook up sites have made it for certain groups to have sex, you must look beyond those. Get out and talk to people. Let them see you. Travel if you can. Meet people of different social and ethnic backgrounds. Although I grew up in the US, I have been living in Europe the last 15 years. I wouldn't trade it for anything. There's racism here too but it doesn't bother me nearly as much. Countries that have a history of slavery/colonialism tend to marginalize black men. I do realize that my life has been pretty unusual for a black male from the South. I live abroad. I am very well educated. I speak 4 languages. I have a very good job and an income that allows me to travel the world. But when I travel, I take notes. And I have a very sexy (white) bf who is a versatile top who is just as piggy as me. But none of these things fell into my lap. I made sacrifices, I took chances and I had some very good luck. I didn't sit back and let life happen to me, nor did I wallow in self-pity. I am the master of my own destiny. By the way, I am writing this from Vienna, Austria where I took a couple of loads yesterday, with more to come.