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@JustProwling: you wrote: "Considering your words, I'd STILL prefer to have an "alright" TOTAL top in my ass, over a dude who's ALSO a fuck-hole." I understand what you are saying, but experience has taught me, things are not always what they seem. If I follow your logic, then all a guy has to do is tell you he's a "total" top (when in reality, he may not be) and you're good to go. He could very well have a load in his ass when he fucks you. See here's where the internet and personal ads (some of us on here remember them ) fucked up the game. I really do miss the days when you cruised guys on the street or in bars and you had no idea of what his preferred role was unless he was flagging it with a handkerchief (some of us on here remember them ) or he told you. If you were looking to get fucked and he fucked you, you were just fine. But nowadays we use the search function on a website, look at a pic (which might be very old), ask for more pics and then decide if we are going to hook up with a guy, knowing full well that guys will say just about anything to get laid. We look for things to use to screen people out. And while the internet has allowed us to organize ourselves into subgroups by fetish/interest, it has also cut us off from a wide range of men that we might otherwise find interesting. But alas, our Prince Charming ticked the wrong box on his profile and now he's in the reject pile. That's what I find sad. If you are turned off by versatility, I accept that. However, just remember things are not always what they seem. Maybe my next project is to create several profiles - one top, one bottom, one versatile - with a variety of different photos and report back on just how these labels are nothing more than our attempt to get what we think we want.

I'm considering removing my "preferred" role from all of my profiles because I think that it's very limiting for all parties involved. Think for a minute how many incredible fucks that bottoms have missed out on because they pre-judged the other guy because he said he was versatile. Or how many nice asses that tops have passed up because the other guy didn't self-identify as a total bottom. Given the disproportionate number of guys who prefer to be bottom, this self-labelling only leads to more frustration. The tops sometimes make older average-looking bottoms feel even more insecure by selecting only the youngest or most attractive bottoms, who may not even be the best fucks. Meanwhile, bottoms in their quest to compete for tops inadvertently make tops (some of who are lousy fucks) overvalued in the sexual marketplace. I blame porn and our need to fit certain gay stereotypes for forcing people into narrow boxes which they then feel obliged to defend. Almost like religion in a way. You know the shit doesn't make sense, but you go along with it because everybody else is too and you don't want to be labelled as the crazy or weird one. Going to sex parties (which I don't do anymore) taught me just how much more fun versatile guys have. When you've got your conquest in front of you, and you're damn attracted to him, you can do whatever is needed to have a good time - even if that means for a few minutes stepping outside your preferred role. I wish a few more hardline bottoms would pop a Viagra or Cialis and give it a go sometimes. You might end up changing your mind or at least becoming better at your preferred role. Another story and I'll stop. Back in 2012, I was getting bred regularly by this dude who I thought was a top. We ended up playing in a group and I saw him get fucked. I was shocked. But ever since then, when I see him, I fuck the shit out of him and we get into some very intense flip fucking. He's a multiple shooter too, but that's another story.

My apologies for drooling shamelessly, but RogerDavies if I was anywhere near you - BABY - as long as I had a dime, you'd have a nickel.

I have a PhD, and am a 6 figure executive in a blue chip company ...yesterday i was fucked raw and bred by an escort...I stumbled across his real name in the process....he also has a PhD and is an executive in a biotech company. he had been trying to breed me for a year now...I'm trying to figure out why he is an escort!

I know the grass always seems greener on the other side, but my advice to you would be to focus on your career and then travel when you can to live out some of your fantasies. I was super serious about school and my career in my 20s, and I now have all the trappings that come with that (nice house, luxury car, money to travel). It was only then that I got in touch with my inner slut and made up for lost time. You can be a whore at any age but you really only have a limited window of time to get the school and career bit sorted out. And one more thing. Don't give up on love. A life with material wealth and lots of sex sure is nice, but you don't want to look up at some point and see other couples who have bonded and think, hmm, I want that too. And you can't bond if all you are thinking about is your next trick. Married men often take full advantage of single gay guys in this sense. They are having their cake and eating it too, so only give them so much of your time. You really are just a hole to them.

I'd like to see the gay health clinics place even more emphasis on education and testing and less on preaching and trying to scare the whores. If you are bb'ing on a regular basis with different guys, you are going to catch something at some point even if you have no symptoms. That's just reality. I'd like to see these clinics put sexually active guys on a cycle of regular 3 month check-ups for an attractive price, spread the word on the new nasties out there and focus on removing the stigma around getting checked. After all, you WANT the whores visiting the clinic to stop the spread of disease, no?

I've been there for Folsom. Very nice. I prefer to hit the bars and the backrooms. I've tried a few of those bb parties. They are too crowded for my tastes, too hot temperature-wise and there is no possibility to shower - in other words, a perfect environment to score a lot of dick and ass but also a perfect environment to hit the lottery with the various STDs.

I think one's age and general state of health come into play here. If you're 30, you might feel more invincible health-wise and say I'll take the meds and stay poz so I can bareback as much as I want. But I would imagine that someone older who is starting to have to deal with other age-related illnesses might take the HIV cure and slow down sexually because the one thing that hasn't been really researched is what these HIV meds are doing to one's body over the long term and how they interact with drugs for other conditions. I've said it on other threads and I'll say it here, barebackers are so fixated on HIV and PRep and are turning a blind eye to Hepatitis C, which is running rampant in the community. And while there is a cure, it costs $60,000. But you can get Hepatitis again and again particularly if you are into group sex, fisting, rough sex. You can live many years with hep C before it kills you, but do you really want an insurance company deciding if your life is worth saving? Or saying oh we'll let the virus eat his liver alive until the cost of the drugs come down. I've been thinking for a while here that this forum needs a thread where we list out all the diseases barebackers are at risk for and then talk about treatment options and costs. There is far too much time spent glorifying giving and taking loads and not enough on how to take care of ourselves. It's really no laughing matter.

This really boils down to how much risk you are willing to take and how likely you are to have access to treatment if you need it. Is a night of wild sex taking multiple loads worth $63,000? http://www.fiercepharma.com/story/payers-hit-back-gilead-94500-price-tag-brand-new-hep-c-combo-pill/2014-10-13 You can vigorously debate if the pharma companies should be charging this much for treatment, but once Hep C starts subtracting years from your life, you can't debate that. I wonder if the rationale for holding off on treating it has to do with insurers looking at the risk profile of the infected person. If I was the CEO of an insurance company, would I want to keep paying the bill for someone's sex life or spread that cost to the other insureds, thus resulting in higher premiums for everyone? Hmmm. Maybe not.

Man, Tiger, you are lucky if your doc will get you $63,000 worth of medication!!! http://www.fiercepharma.com/story/payers-hit-back-gilead-94500-price-tag-brand-new-hep-c-combo-pill/2014-10-13 But this introduces yet another angle in this debate. Who should foot the bill? How much is your life worth? How much is your health worth? It really does sadden me that such a potentially deadly virus can be eradicated, but insurers want to wait until your liver implodes before they give it to you.

I've been doing a lot of reading on Hep C. What I have been learning is very fascinating indeed. I used to think it was only something IV-drug users needed to worry about but barebackers are at high risk. HIV can't live outside the body for any length of time, but apparently the Hep C virus can. I am having a long and hard think about whether I'll be participating in any more sex parties. I've seen too many guys go from hole to hole without even wiping their dicks off. I know it's a bit of a killjoy to think about such things and sometimes it's just easier to live in denial, but how sobering is it to think that at a sex party, 1 in 4 guys probably have Hep C? Many of the other STIs are easy to clear up if you catch them, but Hep C is not one of them. You are talking anywhere from 12 to 24 weeks of treatment and potentially nasty side effects. (OK treatment times are less and there are few side effects if your insurer is willing to fork over the $80K for the new anti-virals such as Sovaldi or Harvoni). If you are already poz, there are the drug interactions which come into play. I don't think I'll be able to really feel at ease until there is a vaccine for it (and there has been some progress on this by the way). It's still true that HIV, if left untreated, will kill you faster than Hep C, but Hep C is the silent killer. And under no circumstances do you want both of them in your body.

Here a couple of interesting clips about HIV/Hep C co-infection:

I'm happy to see a post about this. Gay men seem far more interested in monitoring their HIV status than their Hep C status. And it is very easy to contract Hep C if you engage in fisting or group sex. I've even read a statistic that 1 in 4 HIV+ guys are Hep C positive and have no clue. The reason? Most Hep C positive guys are asymptomatic. Also Hep C is enough to worry about, but if you have HIV/Hep C co-infection, the progression to cirrhosis, liver disease or liver cancer is much faster. I could see how it could be very easily and quickly transmitted at a sex party. Let's assume a top or a bottom has had rough sex and the anal lining gets torn. The top passes it to him. Then the bottom passes it to the next top who fucks him. And so on and so on. The good news is that Hep C can be cured, but the drug companies are charging upwards of $1,000 per pill. The standard treatment is 12 weeks. Or $84,000. The insurance companies are asking doctors to warehouse patients until prices fall so only those who have sustained serious liver damage are getting the medication it seems. It's easy to lump all STD's in one category, but Hep C is the one that is silently attacking the barebacking community. Get tested!

The argument for taking a break - in my mind - is if I have something and I know I have something, why continue to pass it around? Because that one guy you knowingly give it to might fuck you again at some point and pass it right back to you...so I tend to look at the big picture. If more guys could be a little less selfish, then we'd all end up in the clinic a lot less.

He might be homeless but my gut tells me he might be a hustler. Hot story nevertheless.

1. People in slings (sling lizards) who are clearly not getting any action but are too stubborn to leave. 2. People who occupy cabins who are clearly not getting any action but are too stubborn to leave. 3. People who give looks of disgust to people they are not attracted to...I think this is uncalled for and I hope those same people feel that from others at some point in their lives 4. People who grope you or pursue you after you have made it clear you are not interested 5. People who are too "clique-y" at the bathhouse....I thought it was a place for sex, not a cafe or restaurant to meet your friends. 6. Saunas that don't have adequate cleaning out facilities... 7. Saunas that blare music too loudly. 8. Lazy sauna staff that are not regularly checking the cabins for cleanliness. 9. Timers on showers that are ridiculously short 10. Steam rooms that are not hot enough or too hot. Now you understand why I don't frequent saunas that much. LOL.

If the other guy says he is poz, I tell my status. I fuck mostly anonymously so it never comes up. And if it ever did, I would not disclose since I'm undetectable and sexually non-infectious. It's none of your business unless you take the time to get to know me. I wouldn't tell a trick my PIN code for my bank card, so I'm sure as hell not telling him my medical history. If he hesitates, I move on. There are plenty and I mean PLENTY of raw fuckers out here to choose from. I just don't have a lot of patience for people who want to serosort...I tell 'em quick, if you're worried, use a condom...but with someone else. Bye!

Show up with a dildo. If it comes out dirty, leave. That'll teach 'em. LOL.

It's a big dick if I am worried about how much damage it will do. :-) That being said, I can handle length better than I can handle thickness. My bf is 7.5 inches and that's all I can comfortably handle. Unless I am at a sex party, and have been well fucked, I will not even let the owners of 9 and 10 inch dicks anywhere near my hole. I think but don't say, "Find one of those bottoms whose pussies flap in the wind because you're not going to have me stressed out every time I go to take a shit for the next week." #justsayin' There is this one guy who tries to fuck me all the time. He has a 10 inch cock and it's pierced with rhinestones all the way down the shaft. Even if I had a replacement coochie in my bag, the answer would still be no...

Some dicks are simply off limits in my opinion. This sounds it might be one of them. Aren't there enough others to choose from? LOL And as it would not be an anonymous encounter, you'd have to play safe or disclose. That would be a tish awkward, no? The age of the guy is also a factor. If he's a teenager, then I vote definitely no. If he's in his early 20s, then maybe. If he is in his late 20s, fuck him. Hehe.

Nothing ruins relationships faster than money. As a general rule, I don't lend money. And if I do, I don't lend more than I can afford to lose. An even better ploy when people ask you for money is to not give them what they asked for - make it a much smaller amount and say it's a gift. Anyone can fall on hard times but if people fuck up their own finances, they really don't care about yours. As these are your parents, I am almost inclined to tell you to turn the other cheek and chalk this one up to experience. Sometimes the best revenge is to continue to do well. But that being said, if you want to take them to court, do so. Don't let me discourage you. Just understand that a court case is only going to further harm your relationship with them.

I thoroughly enjoyed learning about this. I will be sharing it with others.

wood: I sent you a private message as I think your comments are taking the thread off topic.

Exercising or dieting: 1) don't cost as much as PrEP and 2) don't require me to present myself for monthly screening just to get the drug. The challenge is adjusting to the idea of taking medication - which may have side effects - when you don't have a chronic condition and don't consider yourself "sick". The amount of testing being done just to continue getting PrEP is going to turn a lot of people away. Why? Because being screened for STIs does have a shaming aspect to it. "Hi Mr Smith, your results are back. You've got syphilis. You'll need a series of shots to clear that up. And here's your PrEP prescription. See you next month. Whore." Mr. Smith is going to have to be a pretty special character to withstand that kind of "pressure" on a monthly basis. I'm about as piggy as they come and I rarely catch anything. But still, during my visits to my HIV doctor every 6 months by the way, I get asked if I have had unprotected sex with anyone besides my bf. I usually fib and say "no" because I know I am being screened for everything anyway. One time I answered "yes" and the nurse was clearly disgusted. I thought hmm, I'll just lie next time. As I said in an earlier post, PrEP is going to take a beating in the court of public opinion because basically the gay community's sexual habits are going to undoubtedly become part of the debate. As long as HIV transmission rates remain under control for heterosexuals - i.e. the majority - PrEP is going to be a tough sell. The majority seldom wants to support or pay for something that benefits the minority. And unfortunately, those of us who live in democratic societies can't ask for an opt-out clause because we can't get majority support for something.

I have a natural aversion to popping pills. I prefer to take them only when something is wrong with me with the hope that I can eventually stop taking the pill. I take HIV meds because I have a chronic condition that I need to control. Medication as a prevention tool - which is what PrEP is - is a foreign concept to me. Let's say a drug was found to be effective against prostate cancer. Would I seek it out and take it proactively even though as an African-American male I am at a higher risk for prostate cancer? I don't know. Maybe I should. But first, neg guys have to be comfortable enough to initiate the discussion about PrEP with a doctor. Then there's the issue of medical professionals who may - because of their own beliefs about unsafe sex - not be supporters of PrEP who in turn use their position of authority to dissuade people. Let's face it, many people place a lot of weight on what doctors say. If your doctor says, no you are still at risk for contracting HIV, will you continue to shop for a doctor that tells you what you want to hear? Now there are people who will always believe science over people. But anybody who has some knowledge about statistics and the darker side of academia knows how very easily statistics can be manipulated to support a particular point of view. It's really hard to know who to believe sometimes. I remember clearly one of my professors at Harvard telling us to be wary of academics who craft their message FIRST and then float the numbers that support their claims. I am just cynical enough to believe that some anti-gay group or someone else with deep pockets would sponsor some dodgy research and then plant information in the mainstream media for unsuspecting people to consume as truth. People have agendas that they are trying to push and are often ruthless when doing so. That's just the way it is. Taking aim at poz people who are detractors of PrEP is a nonstarter. Just as an experiment, I recently told a guy who is into safe sex that I wanted to fuck raw and that I was on PrEP. He was not impressed at all. So, much work and education has to be done and this is going to be a long, drawn out campaign with lots of twists and and turns.