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I think I wrote about it on here, but years ago, I was in a sauna in Belgium. I agreed to go into a cabin with a guy. His demeanour suddenly changed and he began roughhousing me. That annoyed me so I went to leave the cabin. He wrestled with me until I was face down. But I was still much bigger than him and used my body weight to keep throwing him off me so he couldn't penetrate me. He put up an impressive fight but I was just too much for him. I was scared, but I remember telling him there was no way he was going to fuck me so just stop. He eventually threw in the towel and left. To this day, if a guy forces my head down on his dick or is any way aggressive towards me when I'm literally about to suck him or offer my ass to him, I get pissed off and go from horny to ready to fight. I may be bottom, but I am a man and if I say the party's over, it's over.

Some dicks and asses are off limits, period. Fantasizing about them isn't the problem. Pushing the issue to the point that it leads to drama, tension, and/or failed friendships/relationships is incredibly short-sighted in my view and perhaps an indicator of low emotional intelligence. Look it up.

If you are having group sex, it is really important to be screened for Hep C. I got it in 2014 and it complicated my life significantly. There is a cure now, albeit expensive, which I gained access to via a clinical trial. Depending on where you live, insurers may refuse to cover the cost of treatment.

I take psyllium husk capsules regularly and I stay hydrated. I also put chia seed paste in yogurt and juice. Cleaning out is super easy. Can be ready to fuck in 5-10 minutes. If I am taking a huge cock, I insert a CBD suppository. Not only am I super relaxed, I am learning from some tops that they like to fuck a hole with CBD in it, which might explain the growing popularity of CBD-based lubes.

Never happened. Convinced of it. 🤣 Wouldn't the dad have recognised the son's car? And the minute the son saw what had happened, he would have been out of there. No way is he staying another minute. Gone. 💨 If for some reason, this story had happened (and it didn't), the OP should have shared the part about how the son returned with a can of paint in the middle of the night to paint the front door, porch and his car. You do this to me, and you can be damn sure I'm giving you (and your neighbors) something to remember me by.

I would opt for friendship over sex. I bet there are more than a few gay guys in your zip code with big tools that you can get without risking a friendship and subsequent embarrassment. It might be a good idea to steer the conversation away from sexual topics if you can't maintain self-control. If he asks why, tell him it makes you sexually curious about him when you hear such stories. I have a straight friend (seeing him this weekend actually) who I think is curious. Two of my friends (one straight, one gay) have seen his photo and swear he's gay. He's conventionally attractive. We've been friends for almost 5 years. I'd rather have him as a friend for many years to come than have sex with him and shit gets weird. He's married by the way, so it's not like we could be together easily. Now if he propositioned me, that's different. 😂 Seriously though, if you are indeed 100% gay, you would probably not be a happy camper if one of your straight female friends was scheming on you wanting to fuck, so please don't corner this man. And jerk off before you get together. 💦

For the winter, I reduced the number of pandemic tops I had from four to three. One of them was here yesterday and he fucked and bred me thoroughly. I had the first dose of the vaccine a few weeks ago and am due for the second next week. I live alone. Work from home. I am not around the elderly or those in high risk groups. Interestingly enough, I'm the friend who is discouraging people from inviting me around - not because I pose a risk to them per se - it's because they have people in their household/orbit who could be a risk to me (eg teenagers, children). One of my fuckbuds who works in health care has had both doses of the vaccine and, just last night, he wrote to say he's coming around (a week after my second shot) for a long fuck session with lots of making out. I cannot wait. I am even entertaining the idea of traveling in summer, mainly because I know it will be off the table again in winter. I would need to see data on how long one is actually protected by the vaccine before pressing my luck.

I was teased for being overweight and for being a nerd. I think both of my parents sensed early on that I was gay and made very homophobic comments to my face, so much so that I felt unsafe coming out while I lived under their roof. I don't harbour any malice towards anyone who abused me back then because I spent years in therapy to help me overcome that. The abuse unleashed an extraordinary drive to succeed in life (Ivy League education and three additional degrees, learning to speak 4 languages, moving abroad, having a very successful career, own car, own home, financial freedom etc). It's clear looking back on it that I was making damn sure I got as far away from those assholes as possible. I won't even connect to anyone from my childhood on social media networks. I'm not even curious about their lives because they are literally dead to me.

I have actually turned down a few fucks so far this year because I'm looking to narrow down the number of people I take loads from until I'm vaccinated. But there is this one top who has been fucking me for 18 months that I simply cannot resist. He has a 100% success rate when he asks me for some ass. He ticks all the boxes of what I'm attracted to - plus - he knows how much I enjoy his long thick dick. As it had been almost three weeks since I'd been fucked, I got out my G spot metal wand and started working my hole open before he arrived. Because it's made of pure steel, it really gets my hole nice and hot from the friction. I injected lube with my lube injector and went to work on my hole letting out moans as the massager hit my prostate. I decided to apply a little Vaseline to the opening of my hole to avoid the small tears that can occur when I haven't taken cock regularly. He couldn't get undressed fast enough. I sucked his dick hungrily like a young calf on a teat. I could have sucked for longer but he was ready to fuck. My very warm and dilated hole caused him to moan as he slid in. Nothing is more satisfying to me than when my hole has learned the curve of a top's dick. He seemed to really enjoy the slight grip the Vaseline offered because he kept making short thrusts near the opening to my hole. I could tell he wanted to nut so badly but was holding off because he want to savor my hole. I had taken some CBD oil before he arrived. That combined with a few huffs of poppers had me horny as fuck. No matter how he thrust, my hole would alternate between gripping and massaging his shaft. I also would gape so he could thrust as hard and deep as he wanted. Yes, this pussy has multiple settings. 😂 I could tell from the rhythm of his fucking that I was going to have his kids in my belly soon. After he shot his load, I leaned forward so he was angled in such a way that I could milk the last drops from his cock. He usually dismounts rather quickly after fucking, but today he stayed in my hole until his cock was soft. I think that if it had been possible, he would have climbed inside my hole. The smile on his face as he was leaving let me know he is going to be back soon. Really soon. I had such an afterglow too. Good dick will do that to you.

One more thing: tops should also feel free to walk away from bottoms that can't take their dicks...I'm sure it's frustrating for them too not to be able to fuck the way they want to fuck...

^^^This^^^ I have run into too many tops who feel that the moment you bend over, you have no say in how you're fucked. These guys I try to avoid. I've had them pretend to be frustrated or act like I'm being dramatic. Just like I've been around the block, these hung tops have too...they have fucked enough bottoms to know they are hung and that most struggle to take their dicks. To me it's sadistic (and rapey) for a hung (or any ) top to plunge into and rough fuck a bottom when it's clear the bottom is struggling and in pain. That hole has a day job. No, I don't treat tops like dildoes. Where did that come from? 😅

I need a hung guy to show his willingness to be patient and let me control the start of the fuck. I've got a couple of really hung guys in my phone right now who I won't let fuck me because they are too aggressive and rough. If that's your thing, tell me upfront so I can curve you. Every hung guy that has let me dictate insertion has ended up being pleased with the outcome. I don't subscribe to the notion that to be a good bottom you have to be willing to get your hole destroyed in the name of service. I've had to go to a doctor after rough fucking and ended up stressed for weeks when taking a dump so guess what? I'm calling the shots when it comes to how my hole is handled. If I can't damage his dick for my pleasure, he can't damage my hole for his.

So he's supposed to be hot? 🤣

I wonder if the pandemic is driving people to flake more than usual? Since the virus has been a thing, I've only met three new guys for sex (and one of them became a regular). All of the sex I've been having is with guys I already know. Even though I'm theoretically open to the idea of meeting up with someone new for sex, I'm not really that committed to the idea. But that being said, I don't flake. I think some of these men really do want to fuck but are feeling afraid and/or guilty about hooking up in a pandemic. My ex told me that he's scared to meet new guys because according to him, "if you are willing to meet strangers for sex nowadays, you clearly don't give a damn about your health or the health of others." Interesting logic 🤔...

Being a man should mean taking a pounding from a guy, taking his load and leaving his spunk inside until it's fully absorbed into your body. A lot of so-called men can't or are afraid to do that.😂

I envy the heteros because they tend not to lead with their sexual demands first, nor is their identity so seemingly intertwined with what they do in the bedroom like us gays. We will reject (or pursue) each other based on whatever box was ticked on a profile. I sometimes wonder how many times I've missed out on having deeper, longer term connections with men because of this. Sadly, I have to play by these rules because everyone else is. What do we gain by using these labels? Maybe time, and certainly frustration, as soon as we figure out that the guy we are really attracted to has ticked the "wrong" goddamn box on his profile. Online, I just say I'm bottom, mainly because I know I won't be bothered as much. I think most would say the label I should use is versatile. But I don't like that either because it suggests that I'm willing to assume the role of top or bottom with anyone at the drop of a hat. For me, it's about chemistry. Sometimes I want to top; sometimes I want to bottom; other times I want to flip-flop😈. If made to choose, I would choose bottoming. I get daggers from other bottoms that I contact if my profile says I'm a bottom; if I say I'm versatile, bottoms may think I'm just a bottom in denial. Tops are suspicious too. So, to make everyone's life easier, I'll just say I'm a botton. No shame in that I guess. 😂

I specifically asked her why there is no plan to vaccinate 18-29 year olds. After all, they may be the group least likely to adhere to Covid safety guidelines and are most likely to be superspreaders. She (based here in Europe) doubled down on her statement about not vaccinating young people. So there you have it. Just because she doesn't believe in mass vaccination doesn't mean her credentials or point of view are invalid. I'm not ready to write off or punish those who are hesitant about the vaccine. I feel we should all have agency over our own bodies. If you believe in the vaccine, get it. Let's hope that the vaccination protects everyone to the extent they've been told it does. I'm trying to figure out how this is going to work on a global scale with people flying to all corners of the globe. Different vaccine makers, varying degrees of the effectiveness of vaccines, and no data on how long the vaccines are effective. We're also putting a lot of faith in actors who stand to make huge profits from our collective fear. Maybe I've missed it, but I haven't seen any of them say you can't contract the virus or transmit it once you're vaccinated. All I'm hearing is that if vaccinated, there is a good chance you won't get very sick, which if true, is already very positive. However, I'm afraid we're going to be masked up and largely terrified of each other for the foreseeable future, which is sad.

Because there's no data available on how long one is immune after taking the vaccine, I'm not sure how to calculate risks post-vaccination. Are we safe for 6 months? A year? It seems like those romps in the darkroom at Bull in Berlin where I'm taking raw dick all night long may be over. I'll risk an occasional STI but not sure I want that STI-Corona combo. But then again, it's likely that proof of a negative test or vaccination is going to be required to travel in a year's time. If the scientists determine that vaccinated people can still be carriers, darkrooms are not going to open again until we have something close to herd immunity.

One of my pandemic tops just stopped by to put a little something in my Christmas stocking. I have been a good boy this year so imagine my joy at being fed his long, thick, veiny cock that I slurped vigorously, all while preparing my hole with my prostrate massager. He then mounted me doggy. My cunt was hot and slick and hungry for cock. We were both quiet for the first few minutes of the fuck as if we were meditating - me, thankful for his dick; perhaps he was grateful to have his cock buried in a hole on Christmas day. Eventually, he pumped me full of cum, showered and left quietly. Afterwards, I texted him merry christmas. Another of my pandemic tops just texted me. I told him what I had done so let's see if he shows up to mark his territory. 🐕🍆

I was on an off-the-record teleconference with a well-respected epidemiologist here a week or so ago and when asked if she would take the vaccine, she mustered up a weak "maybe". Her rationale? Not enough data, incomplete data and too many unanswered questions. She is ok with people in high risk groups taking it (if they want to) but is staunchly against young, healthy people taking it because its' long-term effects are impossible to know at this stage. Even when the UK announced they were moving ahead with vaccinating the public, they threw in there that the vaccine's impact on fertility had not been tested. That struck me. I'm not looking to procreate of course, but some people are. I totally understand and can relate to those who say let's all get this vaccine so life can return to normal. That being said, the decision to vaccinate (or not) is a personal one. I believe in vaccines (even had the Prevnar 13 one in August at the urging of my HIV doctor as it's been proven to reduce the likelihood of getting pneumonia). However, I'm wary of what could be increasing social pressure to get the new vaccine or being labeled an anti-vaxxer. Having worked in comms in big multinational corporations, I'm aware of how much time is put into disseminating the "talking points". So far, the media outlets are simply regurgitating what the vaccine makers have put out there because there hasn't been time yet for third parties to independently test and verify certain claims. Now that there's a new strain that's out here, it raises the question of whether the vaccine will be effective in combatting it too. So I'm watching and waiting for Pfizer and Moderna and AstraZeneca to go on record to say that they have studied this new strain and that their vaccines are indeed effective against it. Because I'm poz, I'll be heavily influenced by what my HIV doctor who has treated me for 10 years thinks. I'm not a conspiracy theorist, but I want to hear what others think, even if I don't agree. I'm working really hard to not be one of those people who takes a position on this issue (prematurely) and only considers information that supports my viewpoint to be valid. As the days and weeks go by, I will also be on the lookout regarding what is not being said because that is information too.

I have about 25 GB of porn on my hard drive. Usually when I found a clip that really pushed my buttons, I invested time in trying to figure out how to download it for "safekeeping". It seems like I need to go back to doing this again. I got burned when Tumblr sanitized everything. Now it's Pornhub and Xtube. These sites existed for years, peacefully, but now all of a sudden they're a blight on civilization? Get the fuck outta here with that. Where are we headed as a society? A global pandemic with mutating viruses, questionable vaccines, the politicization of practically everything including porn, economies diminished, maybe universal basic income, and perhaps the eventual loss of being able to freely travel the world because the airlines are being crippled. I never thought I'd live to see this. I hoped I never would.

I just remembered a guy freaking out on me in Berlin (of all places🤨) at Ajpnia sex club. Judging from his accent, he was American. He really wanted to fuck me. I said I only get fucked raw. He lectured me and continued cruising, but came back to me, asking me again. I flat out refused to be penetrated by a sheathed cock. He started dry humping on me and suddenly his cock slipped into my well lubed hole. He fucked to climax. He jumped up after the breeding, berating himself for what he'd done, saying that might be poz now. I actually felt a little sorry for him but I didn't force him to do anything.

One of my good friends sucked off a guy at a porn theatre in Italy years ago. After the guy came in him, he insisted that my friend take the money he was offering. My friend said no it's not necessary, and the guy threatened him. So he took it because he was actually kind of frightened.

I think it depends on how your ass is set up. Asses come in as many varieties as dicks! Some asses can handle a longer and thicker dick easier than a shorter and thinner one. How much you enjoy a fuck also depends on how turned on you are and how relaxed you are. I am regularly fucked by a top with a 9 incher. If I'm relaxed and poppered up, I can take it as hard as he can give it, but if I'm stressed or nervous or somehow not in the right headspace, my hole tightens up. The position you are getting fucked in is also very important. I can look at a dick and the height of the top and know pretty much instantly if I need to take it doggy, missionary or lying on my stomach to maximize my pleasure. I do know a top with a 5.5-6 incher and he really gives my prostate a workout. That can feel a little uncomfortable (like you have to pee), but I still like those cocks because I leak precum for hours after those type of fucks.

The biggest difference this year vs last year is that I've taken pretty much all of my loads since March from 4 different tops. Three of them check in regularly and ask me for ass. That's nice and it means that I don't have to bother with people flaking on me online. Each top has something "special" about him. One is well endowed (9 inches) and fucks like a stallion, one is above average in size and can shoot up to 5 loads in 30 minutes, while the third has an average sized cock but it shoots incredibly big loads. I committed a major faux pas recently by describing the third guy's cock as "cute". He was like WTF? In the future, I'll be sure to refer to it as "your super hard, throbbing, mushroom head cock". 😂