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I felt that. On pretty much all apps, I advertise as bottom. When I want to top, I just go to the bathhouse. If I put versatile on any profile, I'm overrun with requests to top.

Could it be possible that the apps themselves are playing a role here? I know some of them limit how many guys you can see if you don't pay for a monthly subscription. It wouldn't surprise me at all to learn that non-paying (bottoms) are not seeing what paying bottoms are seeing. Is this a possibility? If not, I'll see myself out for asking such a dumb question. 😂

I'll usually ask their name after we're done fucking if I am happy with the encounter. You didn't ask this, but it's worth noting that I won't give out my address unless the guy sends me a WhatsApp first. That way, I see his (WhatsApp) name - often his real name - and phone number. I figure if he's coming to my house where my full name is on my buzzer, then I want some record that we met in case things go left. The only truly anonymous fucking I do is bars, adult bookstores or bathhouses. I'd like to add that I never use WhatsApp to ask for a repeat. I'll usually revert back to the app where we first met in case the guy is in a relationship.

If this guy is climbing the ladder, he's bound to have a gay subordinate at some point. If you have the power to do so, I'd make further advancement contingent upon diversity and inclusion training. If you can't pull that off, then I'd at least set up a meeting where you and HR have a talk with him - if he indeed gets the promotion - where you discuss the operational (and reputational) risk of the company getting sued over discriminatory practices, sexual harassment or creating a hostile work environment. I know it's tempting to want to follow the path of least resistance here, but as a gay black man and a leader, you do have some responsibility to do everything in your power not to be an enabler in this situation. If the gossiper is fabricating it all, it still would not hurt for the guy to understand the role of D&I in building and managing high performing teams. One more thing: you will feel some kind of way if this guy ends up being your boss one day or is in a position to directly affect your career. You shouldn't be apathetic just because he hasn't clocked that you're a fag...yet.

If the warehouse fuck club you are referring to is Rage, it unfortunately has closed its doors permanently. The place was already struggling before Covid and went bust in the spring of 2020. The owner is friends with a guy I was fucking.

Fully agree. There's this trauma we experience when striking out that makes us hesitant to keep trying. Our dream guy is seldom going to pick our profile from thousands online, offer mind-blowing sex and become a regular, yet, we get trapped into thinking that this is how it should work. I think the real challenge is us expecting what once worked to continue working even though we are changing - and - the environment we are operating in is constantly changing. It's easy to become jaded, develop unrealistically high standards and place the blame on others. Apps got some of thinking that Scruff and Grindr should deliver like UberEats. What is wrong with us 😂?

I agree 100%. I've had friends and family get very sick or die because of Covid. Even though I'm vaccinated now, it's still in the back of my mind and it does have an impact on how much risk I take. It's one thing to risk getting a STD to fuck raw, but an entirely different level of risk to say I will still fuck randoms even if it means I could get very sick and die. I think about those times I spent hours in darkrooms or at sex parties with strangers and how that just might be a thing of the past.

I know the smell you refer to. It's really strong after I have spent some time working my hole and prostate with my metal wand before a fuck. My ass starts to produce its own lubrication then. The odor is distinct. The heat from the wand and the juicy hole makes tops weak in the knees. Luckily I know a multi-cumming top who is not intimidated by this. But sometimes other tops have to pace themselves so as not to cum too quickly because of the smell, heat and slickness of my mancunt. I wish I had learned years ago not to have a "microwave" approach to sex. Let that body heat up slowly and marinate in its own juices before you add that meat. The meal will be better.

You need to develop a thick skin if... 1. you're gay and cruising strangers online for sex. 2. You need an even thicker skin if you are part of a minority group (pick your tribe) within a minority group (eg gays) and cruising strangers online for sex. If 2 (above) applies to you, the moment you decide to focus on those who pursue you, the smoother things will go. I might send a flirt to a guy that I find hot, but as a general rule of thumb, I do not approach guys at all. I let them come to me. Sure, I miss out on a few opportunities, but my feelings don't get hurt either. These apps have got most people thinking they're entitled to the attention (and validation) of complete strangers. I know people on here disagree with me when I say it, but I don't get how one can be so butt hurt over a complete stranger not responding to them or liking them back. We don't go up to complete strangers on the street and expect to be engaged and to be fucked because we are interested, but someone this logic falls away as soon as we open an app. 🤷‍♂️ There could be 10 other guys wanting to fuck us silly and yet we are pouting over some asshole? Gimme a break 🥴.

Thanks for the encouraging news. The link I shared was from the siegesäule website, which monitors the queer scene in Berlin. I'll see if I can find someone there and provide your link. Unfortunately, we are still a ways away from the good old days. Germany is lagging on the vaccine front.

😭I had so much fun at this place. RIP.😥 [think before following links] http://www.bull-berlin.de/

Even if this straight guy at your job suddenly got curious and wanted to wade in the gay pool, there's no guarantee he'd choose to splash around with you. That's not meant to be snarky in any way. This is why I focus on clearing the path to those who are into me, and less time hoping that someone who is not even checking for me will one day wake up and find me attractive and want to hook up with me. I noticed from some of your other posts that you fancy straight men a lot (eg the friend whose cock you want). Is it the challenge of the hunt? Hooking up with gay men can be frustrating, maybe even boring. But we as gays can't start daydreaming too much about snagging a "straight" guy. Some gays see this as some sort of major accomplishment and that they're going to ride off into the sunset with the hot piece of trade that none of the other sissies could snag. Fun hot fantasy to have but it's just that, a fantasy. 😩 Love who loves you back. Peace.❤️

Isn't fussiness kind of tied to how many people you can sexually attract and/or your horniness level? I'd posit that If you get presented 5 cocks a year vs 50 cocks vs 500 cocks, I think that influences how fussy you are. Meanwhile, horniness and fussiness are probably inversely related. I'm hardly going to pass up sex if I am horny unless I'm really repulsed by the guy. And finally, I'd add the venue has an influence. Sitting at home behind a keyboard, yeah, my standards are probably unnecessarily high. If I find myself at a sauna/party, I've been known to let men who I'm not really attracted to fuck me. I figure it doesn't cost me any effort. Since he's clearly into me and willing to fuck me raw, I'll probably get a load to keep my hole slick. Why not? That guy is gonna be pleased with me afterwards, and by virtue of that, less likely to pester me the rest of the evening or cock block me.

I think I wrote about it on here, but years ago, I was in a sauna in Belgium. I agreed to go into a cabin with a guy. His demeanour suddenly changed and he began roughhousing me. That annoyed me so I went to leave the cabin. He wrestled with me until I was face down. But I was still much bigger than him and used my body weight to keep throwing him off me so he couldn't penetrate me. He put up an impressive fight but I was just too much for him. I was scared, but I remember telling him there was no way he was going to fuck me so just stop. He eventually threw in the towel and left. To this day, if a guy forces my head down on his dick or is any way aggressive towards me when I'm literally about to suck him or offer my ass to him, I get pissed off and go from horny to ready to fight. I may be bottom, but I am a man and if I say the party's over, it's over.

Some dicks and asses are off limits, period. Fantasizing about them isn't the problem. Pushing the issue to the point that it leads to drama, tension, and/or failed friendships/relationships is incredibly short-sighted in my view and perhaps an indicator of low emotional intelligence. Look it up.

If you are having group sex, it is really important to be screened for Hep C. I got it in 2014 and it complicated my life significantly. There is a cure now, albeit expensive, which I gained access to via a clinical trial. Depending on where you live, insurers may refuse to cover the cost of treatment.

I take psyllium husk capsules regularly and I stay hydrated. I also put chia seed paste in yogurt and juice. Cleaning out is super easy. Can be ready to fuck in 5-10 minutes. If I am taking a huge cock, I insert a CBD suppository. Not only am I super relaxed, I am learning from some tops that they like to fuck a hole with CBD in it, which might explain the growing popularity of CBD-based lubes.

Never happened. Convinced of it. 🤣 Wouldn't the dad have recognised the son's car? And the minute the son saw what had happened, he would have been out of there. No way is he staying another minute. Gone. 💨 If for some reason, this story had happened (and it didn't), the OP should have shared the part about how the son returned with a can of paint in the middle of the night to paint the front door, porch and his car. You do this to me, and you can be damn sure I'm giving you (and your neighbors) something to remember me by.

I would opt for friendship over sex. I bet there are more than a few gay guys in your zip code with big tools that you can get without risking a friendship and subsequent embarrassment. It might be a good idea to steer the conversation away from sexual topics if you can't maintain self-control. If he asks why, tell him it makes you sexually curious about him when you hear such stories. I have a straight friend (seeing him this weekend actually) who I think is curious. Two of my friends (one straight, one gay) have seen his photo and swear he's gay. He's conventionally attractive. We've been friends for almost 5 years. I'd rather have him as a friend for many years to come than have sex with him and shit gets weird. He's married by the way, so it's not like we could be together easily. Now if he propositioned me, that's different. 😂 Seriously though, if you are indeed 100% gay, you would probably not be a happy camper if one of your straight female friends was scheming on you wanting to fuck, so please don't corner this man. And jerk off before you get together. 💦

For the winter, I reduced the number of pandemic tops I had from four to three. One of them was here yesterday and he fucked and bred me thoroughly. I had the first dose of the vaccine a few weeks ago and am due for the second next week. I live alone. Work from home. I am not around the elderly or those in high risk groups. Interestingly enough, I'm the friend who is discouraging people from inviting me around - not because I pose a risk to them per se - it's because they have people in their household/orbit who could be a risk to me (eg teenagers, children). One of my fuckbuds who works in health care has had both doses of the vaccine and, just last night, he wrote to say he's coming around (a week after my second shot) for a long fuck session with lots of making out. I cannot wait. I am even entertaining the idea of traveling in summer, mainly because I know it will be off the table again in winter. I would need to see data on how long one is actually protected by the vaccine before pressing my luck.

I was teased for being overweight and for being a nerd. I think both of my parents sensed early on that I was gay and made very homophobic comments to my face, so much so that I felt unsafe coming out while I lived under their roof. I don't harbour any malice towards anyone who abused me back then because I spent years in therapy to help me overcome that. The abuse unleashed an extraordinary drive to succeed in life (Ivy League education and three additional degrees, learning to speak 4 languages, moving abroad, having a very successful career, own car, own home, financial freedom etc). It's clear looking back on it that I was making damn sure I got as far away from those assholes as possible. I won't even connect to anyone from my childhood on social media networks. I'm not even curious about their lives because they are literally dead to me.

I have actually turned down a few fucks so far this year because I'm looking to narrow down the number of people I take loads from until I'm vaccinated. But there is this one top who has been fucking me for 18 months that I simply cannot resist. He has a 100% success rate when he asks me for some ass. He ticks all the boxes of what I'm attracted to - plus - he knows how much I enjoy his long thick dick. As it had been almost three weeks since I'd been fucked, I got out my G spot metal wand and started working my hole open before he arrived. Because it's made of pure steel, it really gets my hole nice and hot from the friction. I injected lube with my lube injector and went to work on my hole letting out moans as the massager hit my prostate. I decided to apply a little Vaseline to the opening of my hole to avoid the small tears that can occur when I haven't taken cock regularly. He couldn't get undressed fast enough. I sucked his dick hungrily like a young calf on a teat. I could have sucked for longer but he was ready to fuck. My very warm and dilated hole caused him to moan as he slid in. Nothing is more satisfying to me than when my hole has learned the curve of a top's dick. He seemed to really enjoy the slight grip the Vaseline offered because he kept making short thrusts near the opening to my hole. I could tell he wanted to nut so badly but was holding off because he want to savor my hole. I had taken some CBD oil before he arrived. That combined with a few huffs of poppers had me horny as fuck. No matter how he thrust, my hole would alternate between gripping and massaging his shaft. I also would gape so he could thrust as hard and deep as he wanted. Yes, this pussy has multiple settings. 😂 I could tell from the rhythm of his fucking that I was going to have his kids in my belly soon. After he shot his load, I leaned forward so he was angled in such a way that I could milk the last drops from his cock. He usually dismounts rather quickly after fucking, but today he stayed in my hole until his cock was soft. I think that if it had been possible, he would have climbed inside my hole. The smile on his face as he was leaving let me know he is going to be back soon. Really soon. I had such an afterglow too. Good dick will do that to you.

One more thing: tops should also feel free to walk away from bottoms that can't take their dicks...I'm sure it's frustrating for them too not to be able to fuck the way they want to fuck...

^^^This^^^ I have run into too many tops who feel that the moment you bend over, you have no say in how you're fucked. These guys I try to avoid. I've had them pretend to be frustrated or act like I'm being dramatic. Just like I've been around the block, these hung tops have too...they have fucked enough bottoms to know they are hung and that most struggle to take their dicks. To me it's sadistic (and rapey) for a hung (or any ) top to plunge into and rough fuck a bottom when it's clear the bottom is struggling and in pain. That hole has a day job. No, I don't treat tops like dildoes. Where did that come from? 😅

I need a hung guy to show his willingness to be patient and let me control the start of the fuck. I've got a couple of really hung guys in my phone right now who I won't let fuck me because they are too aggressive and rough. If that's your thing, tell me upfront so I can curve you. Every hung guy that has let me dictate insertion has ended up being pleased with the outcome. I don't subscribe to the notion that to be a good bottom you have to be willing to get your hole destroyed in the name of service. I've had to go to a doctor after rough fucking and ended up stressed for weeks when taking a dump so guess what? I'm calling the shots when it comes to how my hole is handled. If I can't damage his dick for my pleasure, he can't damage my hole for his.