tallslenderguy

Bottom. Can i physcially function as a top? If the circumstances are exactly right i can, it's not impossible for me, though it's like i have to trick myself psychologically to pull it off. i don't believe i am fem, but my penis seems more like a womans clit than a cock. Yeah, it gets engorged when sexually excited, but it gets engorged at the prospect of bottoming, not topping. i think a guys ass is the most beautiful part of his anatomy, by i'm not psychologically inclined to penetrate a guy, not even orally. Not rimming, not fingering, not getting sucked. All of those, for me, are "topping." Yes, i can 'top.' i was married to a woman and produced a couple of great kids. i love/loved my former wife, but i am not psychologically wired to be a top, and she was decidedly bottom. too. i learned that there is a difference between being gay and bottom, and i am both. Is it nature or nurture? idk, i'm guessing both, but i know who and how i am and feel no obligation or compulsion to be anything else. i tried being versatile and straight/bi when i was married, it almost destroyed me, it just wasn't me.

wow, great quote !!

i'm pretty much with ErosWired on this one. i don't exactly think of a top as "lazy" if he wants me to ride him, but for me, riding is a form of topping. Hell, i don't even used dildos on myself for pleasure because, to me, it feels like i am trying to top myself. i goess i am sort of literal when it comes to Top/bottom and riding is me on top, like i am fucking myself on his cock, it just doesn't work for me on a psychological level, so the physical stamina thing doesn't really factor in for me. Still, as a martial artist and yogi, i'd suggest turning around as a switch up, facing away from him vs facing him. Especially if he is sitting on a couch, that would put you in a similar sitting position vs squating, different muscle groups, you could stretch your legs and transfer some of the work to your arms?

i have never had the pee fucked out of me, but have had cum and precum fucked out of me. But, as a bottom, i have come to view (emotionally) piss from a Top and pee from a bottom as significant, second only to cum. and in some ways as powerful. For me, it does depend on where the Top or bottom is at emotionally, whether they have a connection to their piss/pee. As a bottom, if a Top fucked the pee out of me, to me on a psychological level it would be similar to Him fucking the pre cum or cum out of me, like He made me orgasm in a sense. But then, i LOVE the Total Top/total bottom dynamic where the Top controls both of our sexuality. Similar for me if He pisses in me, for me it's another form of breeding and it definitely impregnates me both in a physical way and psychologically. Fuck yeah, if a Top fucked the pee out of me, to me it would be like He made me orgasm... and in some ways better than me cumming.

my simple answer is "yes." But it depends on the Top. Some guys are slow because they cannot cum. Whether it happens to be true or not, that sends the emotional signal to me that they are not really enjoying wha they are doing all that much, that they are going through the motions. On the other hand, some Tops are completely present (and damn, i can feel the difference) and They fuck with presence and obvious intent. i have had slow, deep fucks from Tops like that and they end up penetrating and impregnating my soul... they take possession and own me. i cannot imagine a better fuck than that, nor have i experienced better than that. For me, it is the best.

i think this is a great point!! i was religious and married (to a woman) for many years, and i struggled with cheating. Sex was my only affirmation as a gay guy, it was a mess for me. Anyway, i actually swore off getting sucked when i was married because it seemed that was the only way i got STI's. i have never gotten anything except HIV from getting barebacked, and i had had easily 1000's of cocks in my ass prior to becoming poz ( i was lucky). But it seemed like every time i got sucked, i'd get chlamydia or gonorrhea. Pretty much total bottom for years now, so my penis isn't much used and i have not had an STI in a long time either. Last STI was syphillis from the same Top who gave me HIV (i think) and that was 8 years ago now.

Yeah, i guess my answer is similar to some others, my immediate thought when i read your question was: "take more cocks." i know it may sound counter intuitive, but the more cocks i take, the more it seems my hole (and my inner psychological hole) wants them. i have even found multiple cocks have made hemorrhoids go away, which sort of makes sense to me that a cock continuously inserted can push them back into place? But then, sooner or later a Top comes along with technique to prolapse, and out they come again. As far as i'm concerned, i love pretty much any affect a Top has on me and my hole, to me that is impregnation... even the soreness. But honestly, soreness to me is a sign i have not been getting enough penetration and breeding from cock. Really.

It's sad how many are still stuck in the Victorian era. Going to the grocery store, or using a public restroom "spreads disease." Human contact spreads disease. More disease gets spread from contaminated surfaces, like shaking a hand, or breathing in someone else's breath (droplets) than from sex. More people get sick (and die) from eating too much pizza than from too much cum, i wonder if this guy has ever served pizza to another person? Are there practical things we can do to lessen the risk of disease? Yes. But that is a practical, individual choice, not a moral one (unless one is raping others or forcing pizza down their throat).

Oh yeah, thankfully not the greater percentage, but i have had my share of quiet Tops. i listen for breathing or moaning cues, anything for feedback on whether He is enjoying and i feel disconnected when they are completely silent. i've also experienced the guys who come several times and i haven't realized till later from all the cum inside. Some guys are just quiet, but i still want any Top who wants me.

Agreed. i was hoping there would be some who have found other options. i know there is more than one company offering STI testing.

The challenge with Covid tests is collection (i'm a critical care nurse and have collected a lot of these). The most common method of Covid swabbing is nasopharyngeal. To get a proper sampling the swab has to be inserted quite deep and turned for 10 seconds on each side. Doing a Covid test to yourself at home probably isn't the best idea for the masses. The STI tests are pretty standard and are mostly blood and urine samples, however, i think swabs are important with gay guys, and i'd like to see test sets that are targeted to gays with both oral and anal swabs in addition to blood and urine tests.

i received an email promotion today from A4A for a company offering home STI kits. i think it's a step in the right direction, it does make testing a lot more convenient and confidential, though the cost barrier still exists. Here's a link to the company A4A Is advertising, i know there are others, thought it would be a worthwhile thread to start and others can identify and list resources. i would love to see my gay brothers chasing health, both physically and psychologically, destigmatizing sex and removing health hazards to connecting. Instaad of wearing a version of a mask on our cocks, i'd love to see us irradiate the reason for condoms by removing disease as a risk. If we all test routinely, STI's can be dramatically reduced. Not preaching, i just want those i love and care about healthy. To me, healthy is sexy. ❤️ [think before following links] https://www.nurx.com/sti-testing/

Yes and no. i've always pretty much been bottom, but how that expresses has changed a lot. my story is scattered in pieces all over BZ. i grew up at a time and in a religious culture that considered gay as a "sickness" and a "sin." i was aware of my sexual attraction to guys from an early age, 12 isn. i had emotional crushes on guys that i can trace back to age 7. i see a strong connection between the physical and emotional parts of sex, so i knew at some level i am gay from a pretty early age. i had my first sex at age 21 when i married a woman as a virgin. i didn't act on my gay desires/needs till i was 26. Ironically, a guy on a christian missionary ship seduced me into sucking His cock, but all of my masturbatory dreams and fantasies growing up were about guys. Even at 26 i was still psychologically entangled in religious belief that had me thinking i was sick and sinful for wanting/needing a guy, so i literally hated myself when i gave into my desires and had sex with a guy. Most of my sex in my 20's, 30's and 40's, and there was a lot, was anonymous hook up, cruising places, restrooms, understall breeding. i also traveled for work, so lots of hotel sex, but 98% anonymous hook up. After i divorced in 2008 (slow learner), i tried dating guys, thinking i wanted a relationship. That has not happened to this day and i have had a ton more anonymous hook up sex, but without any guilt or shame, so much better. For many years, my most common sex was me lying naked face down on my bed, door open and guys i never saw breeding me, walk in breed and go. i wanted a lover, but this worked in the meantime. With the demise of CL, and the increase of aps, walk-in sex has been more of a challenge to get, so much of my sex happened at ABS. Lots of that. i've gotten much more kinky as i have aged. Or maybe i should say that my kinks have surfaced and become more apparent as i have aged? i suspect they, or the makings of them, have always been there, but i have the freedom to explore and express who and how i am now. Once i got free of my restrictive beliefs, i have expereinced freedom of expression and peace. i know myself and accept myself and being free has affected my sexuality. i am no longer worried that i am sick or sinful and turns out i'm pretty kinky on top of being gay. i think it's debatable whether my sexuality has changed over the years or whether my acceptance of my sexuality has changed over the years?

i can read this question two different ways: 1. Why is there a saying like this? or 2. Why is it that one does not go back once one has "gone black." Sayings and generalizations exist in cultures for all sorts of reasons. Just reading this discussion exposes different reasons why one might ascribe to this saying as a truism. Because sayings like this have a different meaning depending on the person, it is apparently not a universal truth, but a belief. I.e., if we were to but this to a quality, double blind , randomized scientific test where a bottom gets fucked by say ten guys of all different races (sign me up please), i'd bet we'd likely find no evidence to support the claim. For instance, if we blindfolded the bottom and they didn't know if they were being fucked by a black man or one of a different color, would they be able to tell the difference? Does the visual cue trigger a presumptive notion that affects the experience? Are we with the person or are we with our idea of the person? i think we all have notions, ideas, bias that have been culturally programmed into us. Those programs vary from culture to culture. Some cultures are more pervasive than others, and that influences the bias size and effect. i think it's important to be aware and acknowledge the influence of the cultures we have been a part of. Not wanting to be affected does not mean we are unaffected.

tEveryones anatomy is a little different, but this is a general picture of the inside of a rectum. There is no "second hole" but we can feel when someone hits curve where the rectum begins and the sigmoid ends. Feels like it's hitting a wall, eh? i've had a 22 inch dildo/snake inside, so it is quite possible to get way the fuck in there, and i have yet to meet a Top with a 22 inch cock (though the search goes on). It's all very flexible in there though and a Top who knows what they're doing can sorta straighten that curve with their cock. The trick is, when the cock hits the wall, to not withdraw but to slow down at the curve, thus 'opening' the second hole. It's fucking awesome really... i cannot imagine not taking a Top balls deep. Fuck, i want all of Him in me and imagine most bottoms would concur.

There can be so many angles to this. For instance, one could probably make a good argument that bareback fucking on PrEP increases the risk for contracting the common cold. In that case, it's not so much the type of contact or exposure as the fact of exposure close proximity exposure. Of course, i am being facetious to make a point, that each study needs to be examined to see exactly why the increase? Is it correlative? Is it causative? Is it simply increased exposure? Is it weakened defense from fighting a battle on two fronts? etc, etc.. There are so many reasons that can factor into this kind of conclusion. Not to mention how much of a risk increase is there? Is it a 10% risk? Is it a .00000000001 risk increase? HIV transmission with meds is a good example of risk percentage. For example, though there is a still a considered risk of contracting HIV from an infected person who is undetectable and on meds, the general consensus is now "undetecable=untrasmittable. When it comes to assertions about anything medical, my first question is: "based on what evidence?" (not saying this to the OP, but speaking in general). Once the question is narrowed and the answer dependent on specifics, the conclusions often become clarified, and are rarely absolute. A popular inclusion in well performed studies is "further study is needed."

Yes, absolutely. For me, sex is about connection, and the longer the connection persists, the better. It's not just the physical, but the emotional/psychological penetration and breeding that is taking place.

i chose 11-15, and have done that on more than one occasion at a sex club or ABS. Actually, more often at an ABS. If i hit the right time, there's a lot of guys on lunch break or just getting off work who just want to unload and go, so it can be a very quick process. As for "sometimes one is not enough..." the way i am wired, i'd rather have one Guy who knew how to possess me than a bunch of quick, more shallow encounters.

Prolly not one standard answer to this question? As i see it, people in general make most of their decisions based on emotion, not reason or evidence. i think the decision to bareback is based on desire, not rationale. i think most guys who do this are looking to satisfy an emotional desire to protect their self, not a rational one. Some guys feel they can tell if a guy has and STD by looking at him or examining him, which is not completely unrealistic, just mostly. my feel though is most guys who use the reason "i only play safe the first time" are thinking that after the first time they will have a better sense of if that person is real, honest about their status. From a reason/logic standpoint it's ludicrous, but it's not a reasonable decision, it's an emotional one, and emotions can be all over the map... especially when injected with testosterone.

What type of diabetes do you have? DM1 and DM2 are different. Type one is insulin dependent and means your pancreas doesn't produce insulin, or enough insulin, to keep your blood glucose (BG) at a 'normal' level. Type two is insulin resistance and is caused by fat (not being fat, you can have a normal BMI and have DM2). DM2 is caused by diet and with most people, DM2 can be reversed by diet. As blkoraltm points out, weight gain does occur with some meds, but since you are neg, meds probably don't factor in. i know of no relationship between taking loads and diabetes.

Maybe a different take here. Erections have two components, physiological and psychological. Several years ago, i began to wonder if i had ED because i couldn't get an erection. But i started noticing that my equipment still worked. If a Top would come on to me and start talking to me online about what He wanted, i would get hard as a rock. If anyone ever mentioned wanting to touch or use my penis, i could not get hard, i'd stay soft. i have come to see what i have as similar to what a woman has, like a "clit" (i have no desire to be a woman, just comparing). A womans clit gets engorged when she is sexually excited, but there is never any thought or question of her using it as a penetrative organ. i have come to a place where a Top can use what i have there if Their psychologically wired to not see it as a 'cock,' but more like a "clit.' For me, it changes everything. i think there is a power in having the physical ability to penetrate, but not the psychological ability, that i cannot get hard because of my psychological wiring... and a Top can have a lot of control over that wiring.

i don't know how realistic it is to want a 'wrecked hole', fantasy often imagines better than reality. my hole has been used a lot, and some FB Tops seemed to make it Their ongoing mission to make me permanently gapped. i do not leak, but i have reached an apparent permanent place where my hole has changed from being better at receiving than retaining. i can clench my inner muscles just fine, but i have to clinch when something is there and wants to come out, and i never used to have to do that. No messes or problems with incontinence, but there is more of a sense of urgency when i have to go. Honestly, i find it sort of hot. it reminds me every time that my hole is more made for penetration than for elimination and i like the distinction.

No harm that i know of. i had a patient (a woman) who had a prolapsed rectum... but it was not why she was in the hospital. She was too ill from something else to be able to replace it herself, but when well, i'm sure she did. A doctor slipped it back in for her, but it caused no harm to her, maybe some embarrassment, but then, she may have gotten off on that? "Health" is more than physical. It's emotional, psychological, etc., also. An ignorant onlooker may have no idea of the thrill and fulfillment two guys may have, the one maybe slowly creating and molding the "rosebud" and the other the clay or canvas for the Top doing the "molding." There is so much more to all of this than meets the heteronormative doctors eye.

Could be, seeds get stuck in diverticuli and people are advised to avoid seed

@Fuzzypup This may not be what you had in mind, but i have found no shortage of used condoms at ABS's 😉