tallslenderguy

All sorts of people work in healthcare (i'm a critical care nurse). The same people who vote conservative or liberal, work in healthcare as well. i work in a fairly liberal Hospital. It's a teaching hospital in a college town, but the people who work there come from all sorts of different backgrounds and persuasions. There was a doctor there a couple of years ago who i thought was pretty cute and i had a crush on him. i had not seen him for a few months until they returned after transitioning. That gave me a Victor/VIctoria moment that i had been crushing on someone who identified as a woman lol. She had been shy and quiet when presenting as a male, but was outgoing and open as a woman. Everyone was polite and accepting to her face, but in the break rooms, when she was not around, some would let their true thoughts and feelings slip. There are plenty of people working in health care who have decided bias and judgement. Many hospitals were started by religious organizations. There are plenty of people working in health care who believe all gay people are going to hell, then others who think sex is only supposed to happen between men and women in marriage. Healthcare workers get tons of ongoing education about bias and not bringing it into ones practice, but many believe they are right and righteous in their beliefs and won't hesitate to show their disdain and present as superior.

i've fantasized about this kind of relationship, but such an "Alpha" has never presented/offered such a relationship. By "such and Alpha," i mean a Man who would actually be a fit. To me, a D/s relationship is symbiotic and requires a lot of chemistry between both parties to work. i think just going by a formula or code doesn't work Half of all hetero marriages end in divorce, and they have been trying relationship for a long time, their model doesn't inspire me to imitate it, i do not think "perfect" exists, so i look for compatibility of important stuff. Look at studies, and the top three reasons marriages fail are: "infidelity, finances, communication." Sex is obviously important, even in heteronormative relationship. Ignoring sex, or not placing enough weight on it, is asking for failure me thinks. i think the gay commumity often has unconsciously adopted heteronormative standards about sex in relationship and i think that needs deconstructed... which requires stuff like self awareness and communication skills. Re finances, one does not have to be on a gay hook up site for long to realize how many users there are, using sex or supposed relationship as a means to get a free ride. To me "fidelity" and monogamy are not one in the same. To me, fidelity is more about mutual loving and caring for a partner and wanting to make sure His needs and desires are met. If that means Him pimping me out or Him getting a piece of ass other than mine, or ___________, it is still a matter of us caring for each others desires and needs. i suspect i could be happy with just one Man, but we would have to really have a lot of good chemistry to connect and bond. This stuff isn't pretend or role play for me, it's real and essential, and so would any would be mate have to be.

One thing that seems a constant throughout history is there has always been bullies, people who are certain their way of living/being should be the standard for everyones way of living. i don't think it's because they are hetero or religious or__________, to me it's a matter of immaturity. For instance, i think some religions become a refuge for narrow, immature bullies. If one is born into such a culture, and their nature doesn't fit, they can become conditioned against their self. Imagine being born gay and growing up with Mike Pence for a father. Even in an era of open acceptance of gays, that would not be that persons reality. i grew up in a religion that kept me psychologically bound for a big part of my life and literally tried to de-gay me. It was a long, hard journey for me to process out of the "moralizing" you reference, and the underpinning notions that support 'moralizing' ways. my process taught me to question and examine the norm. i've quipped before on BZ that being gay saved me from "God." While stuck in that religion, i could still not change or escape who i am and you are spot on with your observation that "cruising... reassured many gay men they are what they are." For me, it was my only form of affirmation, and i am sure that is true about many who were (and are) in similar positions. People want acceptance and i think some believe the illusion that conformity makes them acceptable. It doesn't. That conformity is also suppression and repression of who one really is. It's the proverbial "closet."

It is, and for me, encouraging. there are simultaneously similarities and differences between what a Top feels and what a bottom feels. For instance, using Your example, both natures will be nurtured (similarity) but from opposite ends (difference). i have literally experienced a Top imbedding HIs "Cock" in my mind. i see that as one of many forms of impregnation, which i see as one of the natural, driving forces/needs that can connect and bond a Top with a bottom As i see it, a Top has (among many other things) a 'creative' need to plant Himself in another (perpetuate Himself?) and a bottom (at least this bottom) has a creation need to be planted, molded, even possessed by a Man. It's not a possession that displaces, but does sort of take control... by choice and desire on my part as a bottom. It's not force or capitulation, but a purposeful submissive response to someone very 'right.' lol, i could go on and on, this turns me on so much.

Put in your profile paragraph: ""Guys who only give head annoy me." Not that this will solve the problem of guys who wanna give head contacting you (e.g guys who have reading comprehension issues). It can be a one time preemptive response, though, and you can ignore such solicitations because you've already answered.

i'm with those who cannot separate the two. If a Top fucks me and doesn't cum, i feel like i've failed Him in some way. No, that's not rational, but feelings often contradict our reason, eh? For me it's about the pleasure, lust, need of the Top, and nah, i'm not being altruistic or saying i don't matter, those things absolutely matter to me. For me, it's sort of magical to hear His breathing and comments, His sighs and pleasure responses while He is fucking me, then when that builds to a climax and He has an orgasm, i swear it's like His orgasm leaves His body and goes deep into mine.' It a symbiotic union of desire and need that i crave, i cannot separate the two. i've had Tops who were so turned on that they climaxed as soon as they slid in without any real fuck to speak of, and i've experienced Tops who fuck for an hour before climaxing, both are fucking awesome to me.

Right? We are often unconsciously influenced by cultural conditioning. i didn't get the flu because i was not chasing it, i just got exposed and caught it when i went to the grocery store to get food, because i need to eat to live. A virus is opportunistic. It needs a host to replicate and survive. HIV is a virus that connects to a host to survive, that's pretty much a parasitic dynamic. We also have 10x more bacteria living in us than we have cells that make up our body, some of those bacteria are beneficial and we live together symbiotically, others are just using us and make us sick. We are all part of nature and the trick is to survive, and even flourish. Chasing is getting fucked and impregnated by a virus, not another person.

Yeah, i sure has been my experience and it makes me want it more. Sex is so amazing and has endless potential. i think many don't ever pursue or discover that the pool has a deep end. There are so many things that energize our drive to have sex with each other, "things" that go beyond physical sensation and pleasure, that conch to those pleasures and sensation and add layers to them. For instance, just like we connect and bond physically when the symbiosis between a Top/bottom happens, there can also be connecting and bonding between a need to control and a need to be controlled, a need to penetrate emotionally and a need to be penetrated emotionally, a need to possess and a need to be possessed... i think the list can be endless, but it's not generic. We are individuals and those connections and bonding experiences depend on discovery of compatible needs/desires. For that to happen, we need to have self knowledge and develop skills of communication. It's work, but the rewards are fuckng awesome.

i tend to believe similarly. i knew i was attracted to guys when i was 7, admitted it to myself at age 13, "confessed" it in church at age 19 lol, sigh. i tried to change myself from being gay most of my life, married a woman. DIdn't work, and i really wanted to change at the time because i'd been conditioned by religious culture to think being gay is a "choice, sin, broken," Lot's of gay guys have come up through that crap and have similar stories, and all can tell you about the torture of sincerely wanting to become straight and not being able to pull it off. The evidence just doesn't seem to support that one can rewire their sexuality. When i first divorced i thought i might be Bi. Hey, i'd been married to a woman for 31 years and was quite able to perform sexually. i ended up dating a visiting professor of womens studies from Germany for awhile. She was gorgeous, intelligent... and lesbian. She was 40 and suddenly found herself wanting a man. We got along great (i seem to always get along and connect well with lesbians? go figure). When it came down to it though, she wanted sex, and i didn't . There was something about the female energy that i just could not connect with sexually. i also dated a FtM trans person who was poly and in a 10 year relationship with another woman. Again, the three of us hit it off really well and they wanted me to join them in relationship. Same thing, even though the trans person identified as male, there was something about them that just felt female to me, maybe how i feel with bottom sub guys? idk, but it was not a fit either, but it helped with my self discovery process. Turns out im gay total bottom with some sub in me. Do i think that some of that may be fluid? Yeah, probably, but i can trace those parts of my nature back as early as age 7 and, if they are fluid, they haven't moved very much if at all. So, i'm not inclined to think things like "gay," "Straight" "Bi" are all that changeable.

i love the endless variety of guys and kinks. Personally, my own knit is more related to the energy behind piss and cum than the actual substance. Particularly piss. i'm a total bottom with a bit of sub thrown in and this topic can be pretty involved for me psychologically. As a bottom, i have "pee" and it's just body waste, as is my semen. A Tops or Mans is piss and cum and, to me, both are a form of His seed, something He can use to inseminate and impregnate with. When i watch porn of a guy pissing into anothers mouth, and the receiver is spitting it out or just letting it spill, it offends something in me, like it's wasting seed. i connect a Mans piss with His release/relief and i see my self as a receptacle for those parts of Him. Piss, to me, is a means of connecting and bonding, both physically and psychologically. my favorite way to receive piss is deep inside my hole. i can hold it for hours and absorb it in my gut. When i pee later, i can smell my Tops piss dominating my pee, it's a very real form of impregnation. i have a fantasy of being conditioned/trained to drink piss from a Tops cock. That's the only way i'd wanna drink it personally. i too have fears about both taste and quantity, but i also know from experience that overcoming those are just a matter of training and developing skill. In my ideal world, i have a Coach type Man who helps me with that, it's all part of the mind fuck for me. A Man who is a regular FB subtley, slowly and purposefully could train and even addict me to doing this. After or while sucking Him off, He lets just a little piss go. Not enough to be overwhelming, i might even question: "hey, was that piss?" There's no discussion, it just happens. Each time He lets a little more and more go, getting me used to the taste and quantity, showing His obvious pleasure is a big part of the process for me. In time, it's obvious i am drinking His piss and He can then start to talk about it once He has me trained and, hooked, really. Once He has done this, one day after sucking Him off, He pulls out and goes and pisses in the toilet. When He returns, He notes the disappointment on my face and knows He has me saying: "oh, did you want that?" "Do you want to be my toilet?"

i don't question the sincerity of this, but i do question the notion that sex is ever a "purely...physical act?" Which is not to minimize the physical part of it, but we are also mental and emotional beings. When i first divorced (from a woman), i thought i might be Bi. After all, i'd managed to have sex with a woman and a part of me got pleasure from it. Orgasm always feels good to me physically. But marriage to a woman almost destroyed me psychologically and it long controlled my physical sex life as well (that by itself is a long story). Even masturbation for me (and i think most, if not all) involves thought and fantasy... one has to think about it before doing it. Ltr is complicated, short term less so? i think a hook up is relationship, just a very short one lol. i think a lot of the motive and energy behind hook up sex is minimizing to avoid the conflicts, disappointments, work, of ltr. Conversely though, i think hook up sex can be limited. For instance, i have lots of detailed fantasies that involve finding a compatible Mate to experiencing them with, which is not as simple as a hook up. i have one fantasy where a Top who i suck off on a regular basis begins to condition me to take His piss in a subtle, mind fuck way. That's not something that can be accomplished in a quick, simple hook up. As to the list of three: 1). i spent most of my life trying to not be gay (my story is all over this site), so i know that being gay is not a "lifestyle," but a state of being. 2). i have never been high or drunk. i've never even had a beer. i have been poppered by a Top before and when He was fucking me, that was hot, but i won't do drugs. 3). i found out i am poz when i went to get my routine STD testing, i actually was planning on getting PrEP, instead i found i am poz and went on meds and have been undetectable since. i don't want STD's and would take the cure tomorrow if there was one for HIV. i don't want to give any disease to another either. i think i get the appeal, but i think there are lots of other ways guys can impregnate and be impregnated that do not require disease transmission to get that desire/need fulfilled.

my favorite kinda Top is one who doesn't relate to me as having a "cock." To me, a "cock" is so much more than an organ between the legs, it's a drive, disposition, need to penetrate, inseminate, impart some of Himself into me, a form of possessing. i don't even have enough top in me to cage myself, and masturbation where i touch my penis is always a disappointment to me. my state of being that doesn't have a reference point. i'm not a transperson, have no desire to be a woman, i don't have a womans aura or energy, i do not want to lose what i have between my legs. As a matter of fact, having it there and being affirmed by a Top who ignores it, or better, emphasizes that is not a "cock" is hugely arousing to me.

i don't think i can know the "best sex" i've ever had till i'm dead. One may have more "miles," not "accelerate" as fast, but that same One has been more places, seen more things, carried more passengers. i'm a lot more kinky now than i was when i was younger. my mind is a lot more engaged in sex, it's a lot more holistic and endless variety. Honestly though, most of the sex i've had in life (and it's been a lot) has been worth it. The lesser experience is not a disappointment for me, i'm grateful for all the connections i've had with guys. Sure, some sex has been better than other, but i haven't had much bad sex in my life... really, none that i can remember, so it must not have been that bad lpl. I don't foresee a time when i will say: 't's over' or 'already had the best i'm going to ever see.'

i think a lot of the responses to your post demonstrate this is not a fantasy at all. i think sex rates pretty high as a compatibility factor for most gay relationships. Given that, meeting at a place where sex is the primary focus makes sense to me. i like tacos, but it's not a criteria for relationship for me that a partner share that appetite. I.e., it's more likely that i'll meet and fall for a guy at a bath house, ABS or restroom glory hole where we are sharing a vital need/desire we have in common, than at a Taco Bell.

like others, "pre-covid." Usually 2-3 times a year i'd spend a week at a clothing optional, compound type gay resort. All had play areas where i'd spend time during the day and at night i'd leave my room door ajar, lie face down and ass up on my bed. Throughout the night, guys would come in and cum in. One time i actually got a cramp in my back i spent so much time bent over with my ass to a glory hole that was a little low for me (i'm 6'5" tall). edit: i do use aps too, though they are not my idea, they are more of an add on at a gay resort. Some resorts make it difficult for an outside visitor. They either have to pay for a pass or sign in at the front desk and be met by the paying guest. kind of puts a damper on walk in breeding. i have done that though and one Guy fucked me for a couple of hours, which is really rare in my experience. He came three times and pissed in me in between. He had a big cock that never went completely flaccid after cumming, so He was able to stay inside me the entire time, so i don't rule anything out. He was a beautiful Man, definitely fell in love and wanted to marry Him.

i'm not opposed to face pics but have taken a few thousand anonymous cocks and have maybe ever seen their face 10% of the time? Which is maybe a little strange because i'm a very romantic guy and would love to be in love... and have fallen for a few hook ups and/or fuckbuddies. i love to kiss, but not just anyone, and it's not all about looks, more energy for me. Which is not to say i am unaffected by looks, it's just not a primary criteria for me. A Guys energy and desire are a lot bigger factors for me. Most of my sex has been anonymous walk in at my house where i am lying naked face down and ass up on my bed. i know, prolly not the safest way, but i've never had a problem and i never feel the need to look at them, just be there with them. A lot of guys are shy and appreciate the anonymity. i've had repeat fuck buddies for years who i have never seen. i love men.

Psychologically I am wired total bottom, but love all males. I work with some younger guys, early 20’s who are very boyish, cute as fuck. I’d love the mind fuck of being bred by them, but honestly would probably do anything they wanted, which is sub, but my sub nature doesn’t usually extend to top or getting sucked, but I would with some of these guys they are so sweet and appealing

Not for me. i see no right or wrong answer to this or universal answer.... but no. i'm a guy and like some others, it's male to male connection i want. Having a penis that a Top has no interest in is part of the dynamic, Being a guy that a Man wants to fuck and seed and who enjoys a guy who wants to receive His cock and seed is different. i have wondered what it might be like if my penis was inverted and made into a hole that was fuckable. Also keep my testicles, but they be tucked up into my body, so i still have the testosterone drive, but not the penetrative ability of having a cock. For me, it's about taking that penetrative ability and energy and turning it into receptive energy. It's both physical and psychological... for both me and my Top. That's different than being born with a pussy though. i currently have a Man who likes to internalize what i have and loves to see me pee with it internalized, but that's different, there's a lot of mind fuck that would be missing if i had a natural front pussy as well as a back one.

i love to reach under when He is cumming and hold, stroke, His balls. i fucking love the feeling of His balls contracting as the unload.

Prolly no standard signal, though yellow is piss? I wear tight, colorful, something that looks faggoty.

These are red, yellow and white. i have 4 pairs of this brand in various colors, but they are all in three different colors. i also have a pair that is yellow and sheer i can where when cruising. One Man has pissed in me on two separate occasions after breeding me through a glory hole, not sure if the underwear gave Him the signal, but i loved that He just did it without discussion, just naturally. i think my S curve must be pretty tight because one time when He did it, i was not aware and took three more loads from other Men after. Later, when i was home and finally had to expel (i always want to hold it in and absorb what a Man gives me), piss came out. As soon as i noticed, i clenched and held it longer.

It depends, if i am around the house, nothing. If i am out, i like to wear something that hopefully signals: "fuck me" to any Top Man who might see them. i like subtle signals that those who are looking for them cannot miss, that'll make a Man do a double take and start wondering.

i loved Your entire post Baretop4ever. Thank You for taking the time to share Your thoughts and feelings. It, and many other responses were exactly the kind of openness i was hoping for. Not to take away anything from Your entire response, but particularly appreciated these thoughts/feelings. When i first started having sex with Men, i was still caught in a web of a religious belief system and culture that had conditioned me to think and feel my needs and desires were "sin, broken, etc.." Yet, i could not deny my need. i'd go to a cruising place, a restroom or a park for hookup sex. Because i was so bound by my beliefs, i would literally be praying the entire time i was driving to a location to have sex, begging my idea of "God" to help me resist my desire/need. Then as soon as i had sex, i'd often cry and always felt horrible guilt and shame for what i had just done. BUT, while i was having sex, connecting with another guy, i was free from all of that. Sex for me became a sort of fix, self medication. i realized after i found my way out of my cultural/religous conditioning and came to a place of self acceptance, that those anonymous sex encounters probably saved me. They were the only acceptance and affirmation that part of me got. i cannot think of one time that having sex with another man left me (personally, not making a universal declaration) feeling "empty" or "depressed." Quite the opposite. The only emptiness or depression i ever felt having sex with a man, was when i was still bound by cultural conditioning against who i am. But it was not the sex that left me feeling empty or depressed, it was the conditioning against who i am that had that effect.

Cool, thanks for answering. i too have become more inclined towards building a connection, and continue to try for it, but find few who are inclined to try. i end up landing somewhere in the middle. When a Guy comes along who i have hopes of a deeper connection, i don't go for hook up, if there isn't anyone, hookup is gonna happen because, for me, any connection is better than none at all. As to pics, solicited or not, my personal feel (not attempting to apply this to anyone but me) is i love them, solicited or not. i feel honored when a man sends me any pic face, cock, ass, doesn't matter, i love looking at men, whether we have sex or not... kinda like going to an art museum for me. i'm a total bottom, no interest in penetrating another man orally or anally, just receiving Him. But a Mans ass? Wow, even if i have no intention of fucking it, i find it to be one of the most beautiful sights on earth and am glad whenever any guys is willing to share.

This is not a challenge, but an honest question: what is it about unsolicited nudes that you don't like?