tallslenderguy

i love that you do this. Thank you.

lol, perspective, eh? HIV is not even in the top 10 causes of death. In many cultures there is stigma attached to eating cock, but very little, if any, stigma attached to eating the stuff that is the number one cause of death. There is a lot of cultural conditioning against sex, but the primary cause of death (i.e., eating unhealthy 'food') is promoted fairly universally.

Many make health decisions based on emotion, not evidence. Many do not even understand what scientific study evidence is or how to discern what constitutes a good study. 60 isn't exactly deaths door, if i was neg, i'd still be on PreP. But then, i am also Covid vaccinated and get a flu shot every year too. All these meds protect more than the person taking them, and sadly, this guy was ignorant. He was bragging about being HIV neg, not STI free, so he was obviously ignorant about PreP. i'm poz, on meds, undetectable. i get STI tested routinely when tracking my HIV status. i'm much less of a risk for STI's or HIV now than in was prior to being poz because i get tested a lot more often and am much more aware of my STI status. The vast majority of people in Western culture die or have chronic disease from what they put in their mouth (i.e., the 'food' they eat), not from what they put in their ass. The truth is, there is more risk from eating pizza than from taking cum.

Ditto what has already been said about hypnosis. That said, i love the idea of it. i'm really into subtle mind fuck, 'grooming.' i love subtle over overt, when a Top gets off on pushing buttons and a bottom opens up.

i think it depends on the individuals involved. From the responses, clearly their are guys who can be sexually sleazy and emotionally committed, while there are other guys who connect the two. It can be complex though, life is just not predictable or compliant with rules, even when we want to make it fit. i've been with complete strangers, walk in anonymizes breed, where i had to literally bite my mattress to keep from declaring my love for them while they were fucking and breeding me. Sometimes there is an inexplicable vibe and connection with a guy you did not reckon on, it just happens. i have guys who collared a piece of my heart years ago and still own it to this day. Even though we have had no contact. they have a leash on me and if they pulled on it, i'd respond.

i can think of one other reason to add to the list: guys who write their ad when they are super horny and feeling it, then do not change their ad/profile and are online with an ad they wrote when the would have taken any load.

Lol, right? It took awhile, but once it dawned on me, it was in my face.

Wow, some amazing stories and discussion in this thread, i am floored and saddened by many of them. Thank you to all the genuine participants, i am grateful for your openness, vulnerability. For me, that is the essence of 'sex' for me, the bond, connection that can happen when two guys are being real and exposed. i have never been raped. As a teen, a guy looking to be in his 30's picked me up in his car with some intent. It was a really strange experience. i was 15 and well aware of my attraction to guys, but i considered my desires and feelings wrong, so i was ambivalent at best, and mostly homophobic. He made up a story about wanting to know where the hospital was, that his wife was there. i started to give directions and he asked if i had the time to show him. i was a totally naive kid. His car was pretty beaten up, holes in the seats, a real beater. As we were headed towards the hospital, he pulled into an abandoned parking lot saying he wanted to smoke a joint before going. i was a religious kid, so my mind was on doing him a kindness, but i had been around a lot of drugs at that point because my older sister and her friends got stoned a lot, and i was sort of their mascot. So, while i didn't get stoned myself, i didn't think much about it. When he had parked, he told me that the joint was under my seat, so i went to retrieve it and he said, "no, i need for you to watch out for anyone, I'll get it." He was pretty elaborate and i was a completely naive idiot. His head was practically between my legs as he was 'looking for the joint' under the passenger seat i was sitting in. He told me it was "stuck" and put his hand on the seat between my legs and started pushing on the seat, ostensibly to shake it loose. He kept telling me not to look down at what he was doing, but to keep a look out, and his hand pushing against the seat between my legs started rubbing against my penis too, and i started getting hard. Suddenly, it dawned on me what he was doing and i turned red and was afraid, but i played along because i didn't want him to know i knew, i went into what for me was survival mode and told him i needed to go now, that i had somewhere i had to be. He tried to convince me, but i was gently persistent that i had to go. So he drove me back to where he had picked me up off the street i'd been walking on. He had to get out of the car to let me out because he'd apparently removed the interior handle to open the car door on the passenger side. After he let me out and drove off, me still pretending all was normal, the fear and simultaneous relief set in and i started shaking like a leaf, realizing i'd dodged a bullet. Yet, later, i masturbated remembering and replaying what had happened. i can trace my sub nature back as far as 7 years old. Retrospectively, i understand that before i learned how to hide who and how i was, i attracted what were probably dom boys who also didn't know who and how they were at that age, all the way into early teenage, and especially in an era where "gay" was still considered sick and deviant by the general population, never mind Dom/sub. i think a lot of dom kids expressed through being bullies, not knowing how else to act? And i was the constant victim of bullies till i was about 14 or 15. i moved from L.A. at 12 to a tiny resort town where the school only had about 12 boys my age. Every one, except one, bullied me daily, it was awful. i ended up having a crush on the one that didn't bully me. But i learned to hide my sub nature and by 14 had moved back to L.A. and was mostly left alone. i became very religious, mostly because i was ashamed about my attraction to guys and thought 'god' would help me change. As an adult, i started practicing martial arts and did so for about 25 years, and i know now that was compensatory on my part. When i started having sex with guys at 27 years old, i was almost always bottom. After being with >1000 guys, i can count on two hands the number of guys i have topped, and that was long ago. It wasn't until i divorced and accepted myself about 15 years ago that i started to understand my sub nature and put the pieces together. That's where a lot of my understanding of why and how i was bullied came in. i realize now, that before i learned how to hide my nature, it was like i had a target painted on my back and of course, the guys i attracted were naturally dom, but immature and as unaware and ignorant of their own nature as i was of mine. As an adult, having to work through all the bullying and the scars it left was hard enough. i cannot imagine having to process through rape, especially having a sub nature. To this day, i still do not respond to bullies. They have the effect of shutting my sub nature down, sending it into hiding. The few who have presumptuously tried to force me physically stopped really fast when i reacted as a martial artist. One guy went from being on top of me to being under me before either of us realized. It was instinct for me, but i could see the shock and fear in his eyes. my point is, i am still sub. i have been from as young as i can remember. But my sub nature only opens or responds to a certain type of Dom, and that is definitely not one who feels entitled. Submission is something i give, not something one takes from me, and the dance where that happens is complex and intricate. The physical part of it is there, but pales in comparison to the psychological side of it... for both me and my Dom. i think of force, rape, as often being distortions of Dom/sub nature.

i love that anything can be discussed in this community. Evolutionists theorize that attraction to youth and beauty is about survival, reproduction. Not really a factor when it comes to sex between guys. Do gay guys still have those instincts? i ran a marketing business for many years. It's common knowledge among sales people that buyers buy based on emotion, not reason. i think sex is probably similar. We can think and reason this out, but ultimately or choices about who to have sex with are not based on logic or reason, but complex emotions that we may not even be aware of, let alone understand. That's why i think discussions like this are fantastic and one of the reasons i love the BZ community. For me, sex is better when i it goes beyond the physical. Sex for me is about connecting with another guy. Penetration, insemination, even 'impregnation,' can be so much more than a physical act, it can be mental and emotional. It can be a deep experience of discovery of self and another, of connection and bonding. i think this discussion can be, in part, about not limiting our opportunities of experience due to bias, be they culturally condoned or otherwise.

? We're still learning about space travel too, but that has not kept science from getting us to the moon. It's likely we'll never know everything about anything, but that does not have to preclude efforts at progress.

To me a Cock is more than the organ between the legs., it’s also internal, so it depends for me. Like Eros, i don’t consider myself fucked if I dildo myself, or a machine, it has to have the desire and intent of a Top to qualify as fucking, but if that is present, even His pinky counts as a “cock”, dildo, enema, etc.

Obviously some guys are into this, but i don't get into being forced or bullied at all, it has the opposite effect on me. To me, any guy who has to use physical force doesn't know his real power. For me the most effective humiliation/degradation is what i perceive as "affectionate" or "matter of fact" behavior where the Top clearly understands the effect He has on His bottom and know how to elicit submission from him. For instance, piss. A top might force or bully a bottom to take his piss, but has he really gotten full submission? For me, the real power dynamic happens when a Top knows how to use His power and position to get the bottom to crave Him, His pleasure, in this case, His piss, to the point He will sincerely even beg for it. The Top can smile with understanding that He didn't just force His bottom to take something, but got His bottom to want and need it.

Thanks for the responses guys. i'm working on reversing the blood glucose with diet. There is some info that associates Biktarvy with diabetes 2 (DM2), and weight gain, what i haven't found is info stating which comes first. DM2 is caused by excess intracellular fat so wondering if the Biktarvy association is related to the increased weight/fat gain vs a direct correlation between DM2 and Biktarvy. my BMI has never been above normal, but when i am at the bottom end of normal, i loose trunk fat which is a marker for insulin resistance, so i'm in the process of losing that and working toward a lower BMI, especially reducing my fat ratio. my suspicion is that Biktarvy is not necessarily causative, but is a factor. Going to talk with my ID doc on Thursday and consider continuing and see if i can affect this through diet. my metabolic panel blood work is perfect, but i'm now detectable (85 copies on the HIV RNA Ultra test), and have not been for a long time, so that all by itself may necessitate a med change.

i started on Biktarvy about 11 months ago. i'm a nurse, so pretty experienced in assessing. i smelled sugar in my pee, so bought a glucometer on Amazon, and my fasting blood glucose was in the 120's-130's. i had upcoming labs for my routine HIV status screening and so asked my ID to add on an A1c (test for diabetes). It was 7.2 which officially makes me type 2 diabetic (DM2). i'm a tall guy and my BMI has never been over normal, though it has crept up to the top in of normal range. i did some searching and turns out Biktarvy does have some association with DM2. It's hard to know if it is causative, but looking suspicious and it does have a history. Anyone else run into this? i have an appointment with my ID this Thursday and anticipate a med change, i also tested in the detectable range as well, so i am questioning the Biktarvy. In my searches i have also found HIV meds with lamivudine (e.g. "Dovata") have some possible effect at reversing DM2, some have suggested it as a off label treatment for DM2. i have read mixed reviews on Dovata, but that's true about all meds. Plus, there are other meds with lamivudine. Interested in anyone else's experience with the HIV meds and new onset of DM2, if you made the connection and discontinued the med and reversed the DM2? Or any other info you care to share. Thanks guys.

i don't, i have critical care certification (PCCN). Good luck and thank you for doing this.

I've been curious about this too. IV Remdesivir (an HIV med) is standard treatment for Covid positive patients. i'm a critical care nurse and currently have >1000 hours of directed care with Covid + patients. When we started using remdesivir, i naturally made the connection. So many of the meds we use simply don't have evidence supporting them because that takes time to study and produce. Also, many of the meds we use (off label use of drugs made for other purposes) are used with the rational of addressing symptoms. For instance cytokine response syndrome (CRS, aka "cytokine storm") is a hyper inflammatory response to the virus that ends up killing a lot of people, so we give things like steroids to blunt the inflammatory response. i currently have both doses of the Pfizer vaccine on board, i'm hopeful. The Johnson & Johnson vaccine is also showing some hopeful effect in trials with Covid poz patients. Yay science.

i question whether a cum dump ever "used up?"

Critical care nurse here with about 1000 hours of direct Covid patient care experience. More than enough first hand experience to know i do not want the disease and would rather take my chances with a vaccine than the disease. i've had both vaccines, my only known side effect was a sore arm for <24 hours. my peers that i work with have had similar experiences. Some, a minority, have experienced other side effect like head ache, malaise, etc. that they desribe as coming on quickly, and departing just as quickly after <24 hours. This is all anecdotal, subjective information. i took the vaccine, not because i believe it's perfect or a panacea, but because it's the best defense we have so far against Covid. i am chagrinned by the number of people with no science background who think they can read a few internet articles and conclude they know enough to not only debate with, but somehow believe they know more about this than people who do this stuff for a living. i sort of get it. This can effect you personally, but so can catching the disease. But don't fool yourself, that is an emotional decision, not one based on evidence or knowledge and understanding. Most of us would not think of questioning or debating a rocket scientist about whether or not a rocket will fly, but as complex as the human body is, some seem to think a google search will inform them enough to question and debate not just one micro biologist, but a majority of healthcare scientists (it's not just one person involved in making and approving a vaccine, or even a few). i know this comes hard to some, but when it comes to vaccines, most of us will exercise a degree of trust or distrust, not informed understanding. One cannot learn things like microbiology and physiology after reading a few articles, these are disciplines that take years to become expert in. Most do not understand rocket science and most do not understand microbiology. We stand more chance of getting seriously injured in a car accident than we do taking a vaccine, yet we do not think twice about trusting the engineer who designed our car, jumping into it daily and going full speed ahead. The thing about vaccines is they work best when used as a group vs individually. i get a flu vaccine every year. Lately flu vaccines have only been about 20% effective, which are lousy odds when you look at it as an individual. But if millions of people get the vaccine, that 20% becomes a significant number. Getting a vaccine is not just a personal choice, it's a human choice, a social choice. It's not an "it's all about me" decision. It's about all of us as a group.

i hope not. i don't think he should be rewarded.

i've been here since 2012 and was a lurker prior to that. i don't know of another not hetero discussion forum ike this anywhere? It may be out there, but i have not encountered it. For me, this is sort of like the bars and meeting places non heteronormative's had prior to the internet, but even that pales in comparison when it comes to the variety, substance and quality of some of the discussions that take place here. This place comes as close to a tribal gathering as i can imagine. i wonder if it was face to face if it would even be the same? We'd all likely end up pairing off or in an orgy lol. Here, though, we have physical separation here, so stuff gets examined and discussed. i am so grateful this place and you guys are here.

Cool! To me, it all comes down to individual wiring. Labels like "Top, Dom, bottom, sub, etc., ad infinitum," to my way of thinking are guide lines, not absolute labels that one must conform to. i believe labels/words are there to serve communication, not imprison us. i used the identifiers "bottom with some sub." i qualify 'some' sub, because i have found if i do not qualify, there are some guys who want to define me more than they want to know and possesss me. No judgement on them, but i do not synch with them, and i know it, so i blow them a kiss and wish them luck in their endeavors. With that as a preface: For me, sucking cock is every bit as submissive and bottom for me as getting fucked. For me, any form of penetration is 'bottom' and goes toward 'sub.' i don't rim guys because, the way i am wired, it feels like topping to me because it is still a form of penetration. For me, it is topping to use a finger, tongue, dildo, etc, to penetrate another and vice versa. If i have a cock in my mouth, i am being penetrated and it's bottoming for me. As far as the 'sub' part, the way i am, force of any sort shuts down my sub side. The Dom's who open me, open and elicit the sub in me, do it through seduction, not bullying or force. i may end up getting face fucked, but they sneak up on it or pull it out of me. That's just me, i know we are not all alike. i know there is such a thing as a "submissive top," but i do not relate to that at all. i also do not relate to or respond to force at all, even though i know a lot of guys equate force or bullying with "dom." For me, that is opposite of "dom." For me, being fucked or sucking is 'bottom.' And depending on the Top/Dom, being fucked or sucking can bring out the sub in me. "sub" for me is psychological and is a response i have to a particular kind of 'Dom."

i've never refused, but there was one i was not able to take entirely when i was younger, He had both girth and length. i suspect i would be able to take it now. i had another who had enormous girth, but was not more than 7" long, and i was a little embarrassed the first time with Him because i had to slow Him down at first. i suspect He was accustomed to being turned down, because He'd hit me up frequently. He is the only guy i can think of who i would pre-dilate with a dildo to accommodate Him. He was not one to take time to open me, so i did it before He got there so He could just slide in. Not my favorite way, but that was how He was and i loved Him. He was one of a few guys who literally fucked the cum out of me. i have had many who were massive and had to open me up, but psychologically, i absolutely love that. i love it when a Top purposefully and knowingly opens me to accommodate His cock because, for me, opening me is a huge part of being with a Top. I.e., it's not 'just' the fuck and insemination, but for me, being stretched and opened, having my hole molded and changed by His penetration, is just as big a deal to me as the semen or piss that He puts inside of me. i see opening as a form of insemination and impregnation, that He uses to 'mark' me.

Got the Pfizer vaccine 12/30/20. Only had a sore arm, that's feeling better after about 24 hours, otherwise no other symptoms.

i get my first shot on Wednesday at the end of my shift. Most of the nurses i work with at the hospital post their reaction to the vaccine on FB, so far no one i work with has had any severe response, most just a sore arm that resolves in <24 hours. Some fatigue, but hey, we are nurses working 13 hour shifts in a stressful environment, fatigue comes with the job lol.

Ditto this. It is spot on. i'm a critical care nurse and >1000 hours of direct care experience with Covid poz patients in a critical care setting. Cytokine response syndrome (aka "cytokine storm" or simply "CRS") is the big killer here. We are just starting to figure out the reasons behind who gets this triggered response and who does not. i had two patients a few weeks ago, one relatively young (50) and in good health otherwise, the other was 87 and had several co-morbidities (diabetes, vascular disease, heart disease). The 87 year old started out on high flow O2 equipment where we were forcing ventalation, the other was getting a lessor O2 device. The 87 year old improved at twice the rate of the younger guy. Not only was CRS an emergent factor, it also seems to have longer term ramifications because of lung injury that can take several months to resolve even after the infection has cleared. We are still learning this disease, it is deadly, and even when it is not, if you happen to be the type that gets the CRS response, you are in for an ugly ride. The vaccine is demonstrating 95% efficacy at this point, i'm getting vaccinated next week (i have to wait when i am off work because there can be side effects), We do not know the long term effects of the vaccine, it's new, but we do know the effects of Covid, so putting it on the scales, i'm going with the vaccine. Covid related deaths are a reality, so far, no one has died from the vaccine. It may happen, and yes, some are going to have worse side effects than others, but comparatively, it's the better bet by far. Science is not perfection, it produces the best evidence we have so far and is an ever ongoing pursuit for more and better evidence.