tallslenderguy

"Cocksucker faggots are a convenient, handy tool for men" idk. i think we may often oversimplify the Top/bottom D/s dynamic in an attempt to enhance certain aspects? I.e., the Top/Dom loves, wants/needs someone to take His cock, load and the attitude of topping/dominance. i think we are often ignorant or fuzzy about the psychological aspects of the Top/bottom relationship, one of them being the seeming need for some Top/Dom to feel superior and some bottoms or subs to feel inferior. Both parties deem their position as 'better,' i.e., the bottom/sub wants to suck cock, it's not something a Top or Dom really has to force him to do lol. Hell, a bottom usually craves a Top and much of what comes with Him. i think something that often gets lost or blurred in the sexual Top/bottom exchange is the emotional and psychological needs and desires we are trying to meet. i think at it's most basic level is the expression of mutual desire and need. i think both sides want to feel needed and desired, and in that we are the same. i think the superior/inferior labels (masks?) we put on is more of a courting dance to attract than it is an expression of reality. i don't think submission logically equates to inferior, or Dominance logically equates to superior. If a bottom/sub didn't consider his role to be the better, more fulfilling role, he wouldn't be doing it. Having said all that, one of the mysteries for me of D/s is humiliation, and i think that's true about a lot of us... maybe most of us? Being affectionately humiliated, certain ways, is deeply powerful for me. i don't get it, just sort of dance around the edges of understanding it. One guy may meanly and derrogatorilly call me a "cocksucker," and do it with an attitude where i'll be completely turned off and closed to him. Another may use the same exact terms, but instead of complete distain, there is an affectionate acknowledgment of His own desire to possess me that opens me wide to Him.

This is the exact thought that came to my mind when reading the OP. There are guys in the D/s community who (on both sides) want objectification, and i see a lot less "submission" going on in that kind of dynamic and a lot more passivity. i find a lot of variation and expectation on both sides of the fence of Dom/sub. Go to a site like Recon and read profiles and many of the Dom's profiles will say "boundaries respected" while others have the expectation of absolute obedience. Honestly, i think the majority of subs have limits and a big part of D/s relationship is "pushing limits." i don't see D/s as simple or subject to the strict black or white definitions some want to use to structure them. One form of D/s relationship is the expectation that whatever the Dom says, goes. There is another form though where the Dom doesn't so much expect submission as He wants to elicit submission from His sub. Either way, in order for "submission" to take place, there has to be volition and someone there who is actually submitting. Personally, i land on the latter form. To me, part of the fun and erotic turn on of D/s is the process of a Dom getting into my head ("mind fuck") and Him gaining control and getting me to submit. i want to submit, but to me "submission" requires there be substance to submit The Dom's i have had relationship with have wanted that too. They don't just want a mindless play thing, but a challenge that exercises their Dominant nature. In the OP's case, i'd say the behavior of trying to manipulate or control a top into breeding him is more of a Dom attitude. Wanting or needing to be bred is different than controlling to get bred. i think the more developed and understanding Dom gets His subs needs and uses those to control and elicit submission from His sub.

my take on 'love' is it's unconditional. I.e., we take a person as they are. That is simple (but hard), looks good on paper, and is one of the biggest challenges of relationship in my opinion. For me, my top priority in relationship is compatibility because i don't believe in trying to change someone, or vice versa, because of "love." To me, that isn't really love, it turns a relationship more quid pro quo. You are in relationship with a couple of guys who, for whatever reasons, want/need and are having raw, bareback sex with other guys. i get that you are "conflicted" because these are guys you care about and want in your life. my guess (and it's only a guess) is that, on some level they know you disapprove of what they are doing, so they hide and lie about it. i.e., they too are "conflicted." They too know the consequences of "raw dogging" and to them "the consequences" (apparently) are worth it. Seems to me you guys are sexually incompatible. Based on what you have written, i don't think PreP is the answer for you. Don't get me wrong, i think PreP is pretty essential if you're having penetrative sex, especially as a bottom, because you have NO control over your partner/s. Yes, there are guys out there who believe in and are monogamous, but nothing is absolute. This isn't the case with you though. You already know that your partners are having hook up sex. If you stay with them and have sex with them, sooner or later, the odds are you're going to get an STD. From what you have written, i think you need to change the form of relationship you have with these guys to platonic and find someone you can be monogamous with for the sexual part of your life. This goes beyond STD's for you. Psychologically, you are feeling "used" by who and how they are. i'd wager if they managed to not have hookup sex for awhile, they too would feel "used" and the same sort of resentment and hurt would develop. i don't think ether side is 'good' or 'bad,' it think it's a question of compatibility. It looks to me that a closed polyamorous relationship would be more suited to your desires and needs. i'm not one to throw out the baby with the bath water, i.e., an all or nothing scenario with your current guys. Clearly, you're all getting something from the relationship, so i'd look for ways to remove the elements of conflict. Would there still be something of value left if sex was taken out of the picture?

There is an erotic side to this for me, the mind fuck of a Top or Dom engineering and putting their bottom in a desperate position where they end up wetting their pants, but this vid kinda of missed the mark for me. How "desperate" could the guy have been? He was sitting in a bath tub lol.

this is a pic of me peeing through mine https://assets.s3xstatic.com/bz/uploads/monthly_2019_12/IMG_0846.JPG.a1623fdb9bbb58ec0e555cd4f757d758.JPG

no, i didn't have a mother like her, women sort of creep me out sexually. would love a guy fb like her though

Fuck yeah, that is so hot! To me, the Top/bottom dynamic is in part about how the Top creates, effects, controls the bottom. Making His bottom piss himself to me is along the lines of making His bottom orgasm, it's all about the Top exercising His power that 'makes' His bottom do something beyond his control because he has lost his control to the Top. That submission and loss of control is a huge part of sex for me.

i love the idea and intent behind hypnosis. Even if it doesn't work, i love the intent and desire expressed if a Dom uses such things.

https://assets.s3xstatic.com/bz/uploads/monthly_2019_11/75653334_2737549522972576_8360465570390343680_n.thumb.jpg.23e19d1a173f7355c7f812c27ae3e0d4.jpg

Look him straight in the eye and tell him "i really just want it fucking raw...." i agree with others, we cannot "ensure" another persons response or feelings. But really, if he is 'joking' about it too, He likely wants it as badly as you do, the most you can do is tell Him you want His cum deep inside of you.

For those interested, here's some info on "implicit bias" and tests you can take at Harvard to gauge your self. When is the last time a stereotype popped into your mind? If you are like most people, the authors included, it happens all the time. That doesn’t make you a racist, sexist, or whatever-ist. It just means your brain is working properly, noticing patterns, and making generalizations. But the same thought processes that make people smart can also make them biased. This tendency for stereotype-confirming thoughts to pass spontaneously through our minds is what psychologists call implicit bias. It sets people up to overgeneralize, sometimes leading to discrimination even when people feel they are being fair. [think before following links] [think before following links] https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/how-to-think-about-implicit-bias/ [think before following links] [think before following links] https://implicit.harvard.edu/implicit/takeatest.html

Couple of thoughts. i agree with others who identify averages, cycles. i encourage you to keep putting yourself out there, but altering expectations. The truth is, we don't know what we're going to get when we put our self out there. While age and looks factor in, they are not the only factors and i find it's a mistake to put to much weight on them. I really believe other factors are more in play. To me, places like saunas or gay events are some of the hardest places to get sex. If i were a Top spending $30 at a sex club, i'd get very selective and wouldn't want to shoot immediately and just go home. From what you describe, this was an event and was more social than sexual. For me, those venues are very hit or miss. i go to a all gay resort in Palm Springs on a regular basis and some days while i'm there are awesome and some sexless. And PS is a gay Mecca lol. If you get discouraged and give up, you'll miss the on days though. If i am feeling very horny and cum dumpy, i get most of my quick and easy loads at an ABS during lunch or when guys are getting off work. i find most of the guys who frequent these places at those times just wanna get off on their way home. It's not unusual for me to take half a dozen cocks in a half hour or so. It's a different crowd and many are there to simply get off, not find the man of their dreams.

Can't wait till he gets to the part where he kills Han Solo.

For those interested in anatomy and physiology, here's some info. Our whole intestinal tract has cells lining it that provide different function. There are cells called "goblet" cells that produce the mucus we are talking about here. Those cells are particularly active rectally and their production of mucus is a direct result of stimulation. Their function is to protect the absorptive process and to help facilitate elimination. It makes sense that the penetrative stuff we do would result in the stimulation of these cells and the subsequent increased production of mucus in our rectums.

i feel sad if cum isn't put inside of me by a Top, on me feels like a waste. Even though i know i can still eat it, it's just not the same to me if my Top didn't put it inside of me. i do go long periods without cumming myself, and edge a lot to keep horny. When i shoot it often shoots onto my face... sometimes the headboard above my heat lol. my cum is the only cum i don't feel badly about not going into me.

Now i'm curious. Will you describe a "chick version" of yourself that you'd fuck and possibly date?

nah. i even have a hard time using toys on myself, i'm way to bottom to fuck and breed myself. On a side note, i have found it funny how often gay couples look alike.

i wonder if Domming ever has to be "mean?" i know some guys have masochistic needs/desires and some sadist needs/desires, and i know those ofter overlap into the D/s dynamic, but i can also see S/m as separate from D/s. i guess i associate "meanness" with sadism, but i don't see it as a vital component of Dominance. i think one's definition of "mean" might further mystify this. For instance, i see some forms of humiliation as mean, and others are deeply erotic and a turn on for me. Maybe one mans "mean" is another mans "meat?" Maybe this is all individual and part of the challenge of a successful D/s connection/tethering is the Dom finding that place to tether and knowing how to do it? i suppose there are basic methods and 'rules,' but it's not the black or white process some try to make it? i've been effectively regressed by a Dom, and didn't actually put it together until recently that that is what He did. He combined progressive intensity, praise mixed with treating me as a "boy", and the end result was adoration. i guess someone looking on might have viewed how He treated me as "mean," but honestly, all i felt was affection. When i sense meanness, force or bullying, i shut down. But the way He did it, i felt anything but meanness, even though i was both humiliated and uncomfortable from gagging on His cock, eyes tearing, runny nose... i must have really looked like a kid. Your mention of "training" suggests molding, grooming to me... which i think is a power point in many, if not most, subs. Here's something with WS that a Dom wrote to me just yesterday, and i don't know if He knows it, but He collared me with this: I'd love having permanent control of your asshole. At all times there will be some of my cum or my piss inside you -- I'll be sure that you'll always have my dick-deposits deep up inside your ass, all day & all night. I own your asshole -- it's my hole to lick and suck and kiss any time I want to; my hole to fuck and drain my hairy cum-filled balls into; my ass to slide my foreskin so fucking deep into any time I want it; my toilet ass for me to take a piss in; my asshole for me to sniff while I'm feeling your ass cheeks rubbing against my face. We'd sleep with my dick up your ass and my balls resting in your ass crack. Your asshole will always have the scent of my piss and my cum and my sweat on it, Yeah, I've marked your asshole with my scent, and I'll have my dick up your ass any time and anywhere I want.

my take is this is a good example of Top/Dom wiring? i was married (to a woman) for half my life, i had religious constraints to overcome before i could be true to myself and accept being gay. We were pretty much both sub and bottom in our natures, so i was pretty sexually frustrated, but i learned the physiology of how to satisfy her sexually and understood instinctively what she needed/wanted. Controlling her body and pleasure was central to sex. She was totally not kinky, so stuff like ws weren't even a consideration, but i did get a lot of experience as a top and knew how to do it functionally even if i am not one by nature. Having top experience myself and being very drawn to the mental and emotional elements of sex along with the physical, i find myself always looking for others who want to go beyond just a quick dump and run. Dump and run is hot, i'm just an advocate for depth and variety as part of the mix. WS, to me, seems rife with opportunity to expereince the depth of our sexual natures whether we are Top or bottom or somewhere in between. When i read find91's comments, i see that He is a Top/Dom who is in touch with His own needs and wants as well as those of His partners. ^^This^^ (find91's comment) is such a hot example of where i am trying to go with this thread. i really have come to see piss and pee as very similar to cum, with some unique twists thrown in. The fact that find91 enjoys fucking a guy till he pisses himself is evidence of His need/desire to be able to control His bottom. It's also a further type of bodily function that He has taken control of from His bottom, further demonstrating His dominance. For me, something very erotic that ws can have that cum doesn't is the element of embarrassment/humiliation connected to pleasure. That's a huge mind fuck for me when a Top finds ways to evoke submission to humiliation by using pleasure. To me, that is one of the most profound demonstrations of D/s power, and i can see all sorts of ways WS can be used to do that. i love this example, turning pee into part of the orgasm.

lol, i can't believe only one person has responded to this with all the piss lovers on BZ. Maybe because it's Monday? my slutty sub side responds to piss almost as much as cum. i could see a Dom controlling His subs peeing like He controls his cumming. And there's so much potential for control of yet another bodily function that has some sweet humiliation. i can't be the only one who is into all the possibilities of this?

If it is, then You have probably many bottoms, my self among them, who actually long for a Top who will want/need and do this with their bottom fulfilling both their needs and wants in the process. i believe for every Yang there is a corresponding yin. i can imagine feeling my hole dripping as i walk because my Top has made it that way... and that's what i would think and feel, that that is my Tops artwork that He loves. fuck yeah

It's so incredible, words fail to adequately describe this for me. "Totally used [up] and open on the inside" definitely fits. A Top who wants this, it's like He's tunneling into me and making a corridor for Him to get to me. i often think of having places inside of me that are "collaring" points where a Top finds and puts His collar on me and a tether. The look of satisfaction that i see on His face is a huge parr of that collar and tether for me, His words and looks and touch can then be like pulling on the leash He has set. Having an opened hole, especially when He comments on what He has done or how He's made it into His pussy, is like putting a lock on me, locking me open to Him and my gaping hole is His access to my soul. It's fucking profound what can happen with some guys.

Some Tops are sprinters, some are marathon runners. i have some stamina as a bottom, especially when i feel a connect to my Top. A marathon fucker is probably my favorite if i were to vote, which is not to say i don't love the sprinters... i fucking do. i am more internally, emotionally fucked and bred by a marathon Top though. To me it feels like a slow purposeful assault (wrong word) on my hole, slowly a breaking down any resistance and turning my hole into a pussy, opened and sloppy where it becomes harder and harder to squeeze His cock because He's pretty much overcome me and i'm sort of pinned physically and internally subdued and owned.

i can tell (about the "powerful psychological impact) by the way you write about Him and the words you use ("womb"). To me, the most powerful Tops are the One's who alter and possess us psychologically.

i do tough my penis... a lot, but never when i'm with another guy. i use it to edge and ramp up my horniness as a bottom. i frequently go a week to ten days edging using my penis and not cumming. i do like the way it feels cumming from penis stimulation, but emotionally i don't like or want it. i still do, and am disappointed after i cum that way. A Dom/Top can (and have) manipulate that energy to control me and keep me a very horny bottom (i don't need "T" for that). i love the idea of having a Guy who locks my penis. The only time i am really emotionally/internally good with having my penis touched is when a Dom/Top truly relates to it and treats it like a "clit" or "nub" or something obviously different in His mind from the Cock that He has. It's really the distinction that seems to matter? i've had Dom guys who stimulated my "clit" to make me cum as part of their need to control and dominate, but the way they did it was such that i was in a very sub place. It wasn't like i was potent or had something i could use to penetrate with, but they literally treated me like i have a pussy and clit and am not like them, just have a couple of sub body parts they can use to control my pleasure and pleasure Their Self with. Not a lot of guys like that that i have found, but really amazing when it happens. It can be a very effective way to Dom.