tallslenderguy

i think a lot depends on the venue. i find/percieve that guys who choose parks, trails, bath houses, are often more visual or are looking for their particular 'type.' ABS, booths with GH, dark rooms, restrooms... guys are more often just looking for cock or a place to put it. Of course, there are exceptions to both, guys who cruise the ABS and Tops who fuck the first hole they see at a BH. But generally speaking, i feel the Tops who are at places like a BH or cruise park are going to be more selective. If i am craving connection and the desire of a Top, i go to the local ABS at lunch or quitting time, when all the guys who are on break or on their way home stop in to get release. They often don't have a lot of time and are ready to get off and grateful for a hungry bottom. Reminded of a Joni Mitchell song Court and Spark: "...go down to the pick up station craving warmth and beauty, a few drinks later, you aren't so choosy..." What does tick me off is bottoms who do stuff to try and steer Tops away from other bottoms. I've been at ABS where (i'm guessing a bottom) will close doors on either side of a booth that a bottom is in to make them look occupied. Stuff like that is just pathetic. Honestly, i'd rather go home without any than to cock block another guy. To me, that is catty and bitchy, not something a guy would do. Conversely, i'm not going to push myself on anyone, i only want a guy who wants me, i'm not out to trick or coerce His choice.

Depends. If it's a dating site with face pics i keep them current and dated. On hook up sites, the body shots are current, and often do not have face pics or they have to be "opened." i used to get bothered by guys who didn't have face pics, but that hasn't mattered to me for a long time. Face only matters to me if i am looking for romance, for sex looks do not much matter to me, so i don't care if they have no pic and cannot tell if the pic isn't theirs. One thing that does bother me is guys who want pics and don't have any of their own or guys who approach you to open your pics without opening theirs first. That's lame. But if a guy has no pic and doesn't expect one from me and knows how to communicate, that's fine by me. For me, guys who can only initiate by saying "sup" and put the weight of conversation on the other guy are a much bigger turn off than not having a pic.

To me, this so illustrates the mental/emotional side of sex. For awhile i started to fear i had ED, and then encountered guys who could make me hard just seeing their name in my email lol. Guys talking to me about bottom, sub stuff can get me hard as a rock. If they talk to me about me breeding them and try to get me to be top or dom, i can't get it up, even if i think i want to. For me, that's where a hot mind fuck could come in, i know a Dom who gets mind fuck could 'Dom' (not force) me into fucking by playing and controlling the psychological side of me.

I've posted some studies and commented on this topic in other threads, you could prolly find them doing a search function? i'm not a doctor, i'm a critical care nurse and care for patients with heart and vascular issues all the time. Doctors see their patients for about 15 minutes, nurses are with them (well, this nurse) for 12 hours a day, so we get to see and deal with the effects of medical intervention, moment by moment over long periods. Clinically put, we're the scientists performing the actual 'experiments' (so to speak). Nurses perform many interventions prescribed by doctors, and are also licensed to do many on our own. For instance, we use the valsalva maneuver for sevreral interventions like people who have gone into atrial fibrillation or supraventricular tachycardia. It doesn't work to 'fix' most of our patients because they usually have complex issues and multiple co-morbidities contributing to their heart response. The body isn't so much isolated systems as it is separate, but interdependent systems that work in concert to play a symphony. The valsalva maneuver, when done properly, exerts strain of ~40 mm Hg. We use something like a 10ml syringe and have the patient blow into it and try to move the plunger that way... that's a lot of 'strain' btw lol. The idea is to kick in a vagal response, which is the parasympathetic response. That has the effect (among other things) of releasing acetylcholine in the heart, particularly at the SA node, which is responsible (in well people) for regulating heart rhythm. Aka the hearts "pace maker." The parasympathetic effect (among other things) slows the heart rate and dilates the blood vessels (lowering blood pressure). Poppers are nitrites. Our bodies make their own nitrites (nitric oxide, NO) and NO is secreted by the endothelium. Among other things, NO dilates blood vessels and lowers blood pressure. When you see people on TV being giving nitroglycerin because they are having a heart attack, that's similar stuff. What you are doing with combining valsalva and poppers is stimulating a natural physiological response and chemically inducing another. Parasympathetic (valsalva) response lowers the heart rate and blood pressure (BP), while nitrates (poppers) increase heart rate and lower BP. The body always works to reestablish homeostasis (balance), so it depends on which stimulating factor is greater at the time, the natural or chemical, as to which way the body goes. Additionally, you're not just performing the valsalva maneuver, you're doing the valsalva maneuver in conjunction with anal stimulation/insertion. That is an additional stimulation of the parasympathetic response. Bradycardic (below normal heart rate) stimulation from rectal manipulation causes an increase in parasympathetic activity as mediated by the vagus nerve. Any stimulation of the vagus nerve along its pathway leads to a release of acetylcholine from the nerve endings in the heart causing a parasympathetic response. What's happening with the vagal maneuver is putting internal pressure on the anal sphincter to effect a vagal response, you are combining that with an external stimulus (i.e., dildo). Too much physiology? You can do a google search on studies re your questions. As i recall, there are not many, but i was surprised that there were some. You'll likely not find studies on the trifecta that you are performing though (i.e., combining valsalva with nitrates with external anal stimulation of the vagal nerve). Part of that relaxed, spent, floaty feeling that bottoms get after being fucked is parasympathetic stimulation. That's pretty safe i'd guess, millions of cum dump examples can't be wrong. Also, getting fucked is physiologically similar to defecating, which is not typically harmful. All medications (poppers is a 'medication' of sorts) have side effects. The biggest side effect i know of with medical nitrates is tolerance. It's short acting and the body builds up tolerance fast. E.g., if we give a chest pain patient a nitro patch (worn topically), we alternate 6 hours on, 6 off. There are diminishing returns short term. Not sure about poppers. Here is some good info on poppers in general: [think before following links] https://sdtreatmentcenter.com/drug-treatment/poppers-neurotoxic/

i feel you. i too am a bottom who loves ass. It's my favorite part of a guys anatomy, i find ass more visually and emotionally evocative than i do cock... which is saying a lot, because i love cock too. A guy walks by, it's his ass that turns my head. And a bare ass? Makes me weak, seriously. You wanna seduce me or get me vulnerable, show me some guy ass. lol, i don't sound like a bottom, do i? i agree with hungry_hole, that "anyone with a cock that can get hard can top." Cept i'd change "top" to "fuck." And that is just a personal change because i am mentally and emotionally predisposed to bottom. If i put my penis in a guy, it's not to 'top' him, it's to connect with him. Well, that and get off. i still like to get off, but mentally and emotionally wish that my orgasm was attached to getting fucked. i have no inclination to fuck a Manly Man, it's the smooth, slight boy types that can get my penis, and then there's decided seduction involved, some mind fuck. i also have a fantasy where a Top/Dom manipulates me into fucking... prolly not Him, and it's a seduction fantasy, not a force fantasy. i guess it's more of a sub being used to fuck? All that to say, i think this is a complex topic. i think you would benefit from identifying what it is about you wanting to fuck another guy and nurture that. I.e., i imagine you fantasize about fucking a guy? What do you think and feel when you fantasize? Do you have fear in your fantasies? Do you have issues staying hard? If not, maybe try to reproduce you're fantasies?

i'm a critical care nurse and take care of very sick people everyday, so i am sort of professionally conditioned to try and help people get and stay healthy. Having said that, one of the first things a healthcare giver does before providing information is assess for willingness and readiness to learn. It can be tricky, some people just don't know what they don't know, others make fully informed decisions that are contrary to their health. i don't want to violate anyones autonomy, to me, that is one of the most immoral acts one can commit. i'm not going to play along with the fantasy, but then, i'm not one for pretend or role play anyway... real is so much better to me and i am really kinky lol. But honestly, i wouldn't play along with the fantasy of infecting someone with a potentially deadly virus because is would violate something in me to do so. i don't want to make anyone sick or harm them. i love Men and that goes against my notion of love.

Probably 90% of the sex i have had with guys (1000's) has been anonymous walk in. i'm always face down, but have only been blind folded about 10% of the time. Like Eros, i like to keep my senses as open as i can for safety reasons. i keep my cell phone in reach, but hidden, anything of value is hidden and the space between where i am presenting and the door is a straight line with no distractions. An idea for more complete sensory deprivation is to do it as a bath house, which would pretty much be a safe place. i've seen guys with hoods or blindfolds in the sling, or you could get a room and do the same, with head phones too.

Fun question. i describe myself as a bottom with a sub streak, and this question figures into it. While i can reconcile a sub top (or a dom bottom) intellectually, i cannot do so emotionally. i have imagined myself being Dommed into fucking and breeding a particularly smooth, twinkish type ass, but it's hard for me to imagine that person actually being "Dom" more like they were having me fuck a bottom like Eroswired describes. And that would be a challenge, the Dom would have to really know me in order to get me hard to do so because the only things that get me hard are associated with me bottoming, etc. i too and one of those who cannot emotionally associate top with sub. Hell, it violates something in me for a Top to take most kinds of interest in my penis. i have had a few Dom guys who got me hard by denigrating my penis in just the right way, calling it a "clit" or little or useless, affectionately laughing at it or making a clear distincntion between the breeding cock they have and what i have. It's just pretty impossible for me to put top and sub together as one.

To the original question: "Born too fuck." i think this is pretty much true about everyone, the sex drive is a natural appetite. To me it's sort of similar to saying i was "born to eat." Some guys manage to make a career out of fuckng, but most of us retain amateur status. Frequency of exercising our lust doesn't confer pro status, though practice can improve performance lol.

i'm following this thread and have noticed the same thing. True dark rooms seem rare. We have a BH in Portland OR called "Hawks" that claims to have a "dark room," but it is little more than a darkish walk in closet. my guess is businesses might avoid them for their potential for accidents and injury? i imagine, on the other hand, that a true dark room would draw a lot of guys. Having a "dark room" in the description on their web site was the whole reason i even went to Hawks, it's what drew me in. They also have what they call "lights out" night, but again, it's not dark, just dimmer.

Funny how things evolve. The internet and hook up aps have definitely altered how we have sex. Even online shopping/Amazon have caused a decline in department stores and mall restrooms where gay sex used to be a common thing. Restroom understaff or through GH was also quentessential 'closet' sex. The stalls in a restroom are not all that different from the stalls in an ABS. As noted earlier, i had a lot of restroom sex. i lived in Norfolk VA and it had a huge military presence. There was a mall called "Military Circle" and it had a large, long and narrow restroom. It was kind of like an airport restroom, with no doors, just a passageway leading in and out. When you came in, there was a guy doing shoe shines at the opening, he knew what was going on and sometimes would walk up and down the stalls sort of policing them. There were half a dozen urinals to the right when you came in, then about a dozen stalls beyond the urinals (also on the right) with sinks right across from them. A guy could stand at the sink and look into the mirror and see a guy in the stall behind him through the gaps between the stalls and doors. Most of the sex happened at the far end under the stall. It was always busy and noisy and guys would fuck or suck understall even with other guys just using the restroom present. Lots of guys were clueless that while they were using the restroom, the guy in the stall right next to them was getting fucked or sucking under the stall. i met one guy there who became a regular FB, we were both there frequently and he'd just present understall with spit on His cock, and i'd sit on it and He'd breed me. One day, unbeknownst to me, He followed me in His car back to my office building, not to far from the mall. He left a note on my car letting me know He now knew where i worked. my office looked out over the parking lot, floor to ceiling glass, so i could easily see anytime He drove into the parking lot. He actually came into my office on the second floor once and told my secretary He had an appointment. i brought Him into my office, scared He was going to out me and He could see the view from my office to the parking lot. He told me that whenever He parked there, He wanted me to meet Him in the downstairs restroom, It was a quiet but small two stall restroom and He fucked me frequently under the stall from then on. There was never really conversation, we just both knew.

How sad. i'm glad you are back ❤️

Slapping seems like one of those things where the Top really has to know HIs bottom before doing it? i am sub bottom, but not a physical masochist. Spanking is probably the exception, though even with that, my Top needs to know or read me well enough to open me to a place of wanting to submit to Him doing it. A Top at a sauna pinched my tit hard once and found Himself quite suddenly in a disadvantaged position. i'm a martial artist and just reacted without thought. i didn't hurt Him, but surprised the hell out of Him lol. i don't think being a bottom (or sub) automatically confers carte blanche on the Top/Dom. I've had Tops do things, like piss in me, that they didn't ask permission to do... but they read me well enough to know i'd adore them for it. It's tricky, i think there has to be a good connection that is obvious to both parties for such risks to be taken without prior discussion. So where are you at with this now? How do you imagine responding if this happened again? It's a sort of mystery how a Dom can train a bottom using the bottoms nature to accept things he might not normally do or want. It's a risk for the Top too, unless He is mindless about such. You have a "ongoing connection," so it seems to me it wasn't just a presumptuous act, but a calculated risk. Did you tell Him how it made you feel? Have your feelings changed as you have thought about it?

i'm pretty sure a bottom from Jacksonville FL asked a very similar question recently? At first i thought: "hmm, yeah maybe there's just a preponderance of bottoms in Jacksonville." But then i checked out the population, and it's 1.5 million. Plus, there's several military bases, so i am going to place my vote against method (i.e., online hook up sites). i'd bet there are lots of horny guys who wanna unload in a bottom. i'm not convinced that even half the guys online are actually looking for a hook up, but go to an ABS or cruising place and more, if not most, guys are looking. i went online to Squirt and was surprised to see lots of cruisy restrooms and parks, but no ABS? When i really need to get bred, i go to the local ABS on a weekday during lunch or when guys are getting off work, and i consistently will get 4 or 5 cocks in short order. And i'm in a small university town, only about 80k population. Of course, i'll take even the homeless guys load when i'm in heat... i love any guy who needs or wants it. Ditto. Honestly, fuck buddies are my favorite. i love the dynamic, you get to know each other and it makes hook up so much simpler. i've come to really love a lot of fuck buddies, and i also appreciate that there isn't the complications of living with a guy. One of my biggest fantasies is being there for a Top whenever He needs or wants a bottom. To me, the only challenge is spontaneity. needing notice for prep. But i wish for a fb relationship where i always leave my door open for Him and if He just shows up, maybe i'm working in the kitchen, He can just come up behind me, slide my shorts down and slide in and breed, no words necessary. Or even in the middle of the night, i think it would be so hot too have the kind of relationship where He'd be free to get into bed with me sleeping and just slide in and breed or piss.

Interesting question, and some fun answers. Part of me would love to project the image of a more horny guy as i age, but i'd be lying, same with my penis and testicles getting "bigger." i don't think i'm any less horny, but my horniness has become more, idk, refined? That's not quite descriptive, my horniness has become more dependent is probably more accurate. When i was younger, i went looking for it a lot more, now i am much more of a responder. It doesn't take much to get me to 'respond,' just the sight of a hot man ass will elicit desire. A Top expressing His own needs and desires to breed, well, He can pretty much own me. my horniness just don't seem as self contained as it was when i was younger, it's a lot more of a response... even though it seems to always hover at the surface. As to my penis and testicles getting bigger? i'm a little embarrassed to admit mine seem to have shrunk a little. i've wondered it that's from disuse since i've been a bottom for several years now, especially since divorcing. For awhile i wondered if i had ED, but turns out i don't, i just don't get erect at the notion of using my penis. But a Top or some Dom's who find my buttons can make me instantly hard by wanting to own my hole, especially creative types who really want ownership of a bottoms physical and emotional hole, those things all get me hard, but don't increase my size.

That's a hard one for me to quantify with the survey answers. The thing that gets me is the Tops need and desire to put Himself inside of me, so it sort of depends on what gets Him off, putting His cock in me or His cum? i get the impression most Tops like both and i pretty naturally respond to my Top, so if i sense His pleasure in fucking me, i really get into it... and i always love HIs orgasm, that seems the ultimate expression of desire and pleasure to me.

i love You for this. i don't know why, butt i do.

Wanting "pig sex" and "cheating" are two different things. i don't think there's anything wrong with wanting "pig sex." i cannot find a positive connotation for "cheating." i have to question the quality of any relationship where one has to cheat/lie to maintain it. To me, one of the primary differences of an intimate relationship is having a person in your life is is open and honest with you and who you can be open and honest with... that is the relationship, two people who love each other for who they are. If you have to hide who you are, where's the relationship?

Someone else mentioned this: Regarding nudging up against someone or casually brushing his crotch as you pass... that is too aggressive for me. I'm a bottom and that is not natural for me... Guys tend to touch me wherever, when they want to. "Aggressive" isn't natural for most bottoms i think, but desire and need as a bottom are natural. When i say "brush His crotch" it has to look totally innocent. like in a very crowded room letting His crotch touch my ass by accidentally backing my pussy into His cock. It's not a grope, it's an offering. Or accidentally, and with fear/being scared trying to make body contact... it's different than the aggressive Alpha who feels and exercises the right to touch or grab, it's more a way of offering oneself if He wants.

Interesting topic, pretty clear it's not banned words but context that is being managed. like it or not, we live in a society of laws and communities like this can be shut down pretty fast. Look what happened to CL. The truth is, there are plenty of people out there who believe "God hates Fags," who would imprison and punish us in a heartbeat for just being gay, given the power. i appreciate the thought and energy RawTop has put into creating and preserving this community.

Darth Vader?

i will sort of answer your question with a question: how do you substantiate your "trust?" Our feelings and notions of trust are often just that, "feelings" and "notions." Without having actual test evidence in front of us, one doesn't really know if their partner is neg or undetectable. We are really just taking peoples word for it and trusting our own perceptions (and i gotta wonder just how objective two horny guys feelings are lol). The most trustworthy position to be in if you want to be bred and are trying to stay neg is to get on PrEP. That's actually backed by study evidence, and you can pretty much know for certain whether or not you have taken the med.

No, i do not mean to imply your usage of those words is "inaccurate or overblown," i am sorry if i came across that way. From things you have written, it is my impression that your training and conditioning were of the sort i describe further down, "forceful and coercive." Types of Dom;'s and methods i do not consider "right or wrong," but people and ways i would have personally fled from had that been my situation. No, i've stated before and i still believe that the things you relate are real and well articulated. I like and appreciate your "dense" sentences ❤️ Regarding affectionate grooming, i don't think i am communicating what i mean by that, maybe because you just don't relate or perhaps haven't experienced what i refer to, or maybe you just aren't the kind of person that responds to that kind of manipulation (for lack of a better word). "Grooming" is the best i can come up with. Yes, i do respond better to affection and did and do grant that some people respond to and even want negative reinforcement. I felt i tried to say that evenly. Yes, i think one bottom can provide training to another, will that result in universal preparation for all "actual experience?" i don't think so. That question makes me wonder if the type of training you have received prepares you for accommodating the affectionate type of Dom i describe? That's a real question, not a challenge. Just as you can claim real and lasting change from your experiences with particular Dom's/Masters you have been with, i too believe i have been changed, lasting deep change, by my experience with certain affectionate Dom/s.

i love it when someone wakes up a thread that's a few years old and i re-read some of what i have written a few years ago and see how i have or have not changed. i wrote the above response 2.5 years ago and would modify it somewhat now. i still am not "fem" or a "sissy," but it's definitely a hot button in me when a Top or Dom naturally treats me that way. i don't pretend to (completely) understand it, but when a Guy casually or matter of factly treats me as fem or sissy, or does something to demonstrate He sees me that way, like shave me or have me dress in panties, call my parts "pussy," etc., it drives me wild and puts me in heat. And to me, that is very different than me just doing that on my own. No one even knows i am gay unless i tell them, so i am apparently not stereotypical gay, let alone "faggot," i laugh and tell myself, "maybe i'm too much of a faggot to be one on my own, that i need a Man to bring it out in me, and i'm not man enough to do that." But that is only half jest, i think there is something real to that. The thing i still don't relate too or buy into is the meanness that some get into. "Mean" isn't quite the word i am searching for, but more the notion of inferior. i don't consider faggots, sissy's etc., to be inferior. The idea of being Topped by a all Top she-male is a definite fantasy. i don't hate women or the qualities that are typically associated with them, but i see and feel a difference. When i first divorced (from a marriage to a woman), i thought i might be bi, so i dated a few women and a trans person (FtM). The women were a no go, they wanted sex, i didn't. The trans person was also a no-go. Even though i completely accepted their identity, there was something "female" (beyond the physical) that kept me from any kind of turn on sexually, even though that person would have topped me. On the other hand, i have no problem seeing a she-male Top as a "man', or at least possessing something (again beyond the physical) that i want and need.

Idk. You were "trained," so perhaps that's why it's a part of your expectation and perspective to think in terms of a bottom needing some sort of formal training? Personally, i think you're a sweet babe with a natural bottom/sub makeup. You experienced "several dominant Tops including a former Master/Owner who "conditioned" you with their ideas and expectations of who and what a bottom should be. i think you'd be a bottom/sub regardless of their training, not because of it. i think we are all shaped by our experiences, Top or bottom, Dom or sub. i get that there are D/s people who believe and follow a code that the Dom dictates and the sub submits, building from a foundation that the Dom is superior, stronger and the sub inferior, weaker. Those are not the only people who identify as D/s though. There are others who don't believe D/s has anything to do with the one being superiori, stronger and the other inferior, weaker. i submit (of course i do lol) that the skills we acquire as Tops or bottoms have more to do with our openness to learn than from being forced to become. Which is not to say that we cannot be conditioned or groomed, but for me affectionate grooming is a lot more powerful and motivating and exploitive of my nature than forceful conditioning is. To me, forceful conditioning breaks resistance (intentionally) while affectionate grooming nurtures submission (intentionally). i've obeyed and submitted to forceful Doms, but i've been possessed by and adored affectionate nurturing Doms. And again, i get that there are both types. i'm not suggesting that one is right and the other wrong, but that there are different D/s dispositions and approaches. With that idea, i think a bottom/sub can learn from a Top or bottom, Dom or sub and a Top/Dom can learn from a Top or bottom, Dom or sub. i think each brings something unique to the table, that there isn't a one size fits all category, though there are basic similarities? We can understand our opposites, but may not be able to relate to them if that is not the way we are. i think it's important to listen and look at everyone, to see and hear all. i think it's a mistake to say we can only learn from one or the other, because in so doing we leave out half the perspective.