tallslenderguy

a little more ( i am so covid horny) As mentioned above, i'm a little more open than 'natural', or maybe the natural use of my hole has shifted? i do have more of a slit than a pucker. The one thing that bothers me about not being able to "take it" is clean out. I've recently started a routine of showering in the morning and cleaning out and lubing as part of the process. Even in isolation and covid era, i do it because a part of me really rebels against the idea of not being able to take a cock because of , well anything, but in this case because of clean out. i think it's sometimes a cruel trick of nature that our sex organs are also used for waste elimination. i've gotten around that with piss, i've gotten to the point where a Mans piss is almost (not quite) as valuable and important to me as His cum. His body made it, i crave having it in me. mine i just see as waste though. Women once a month shed the lining of their uterus and their vagina becomes waste disposal in a week long dump of sorts. Bottoms 'periods' are spread out... some don't mind fucking a guy or woman with their 'period', so that eliminates any obstacle to availability to breed. But most are not into that, or are turned off by it. And i want to always be in a position to take cock. It's not perfect, still have to eat, but i do like the feeling of being available after a daily routine shower and clean out and lube. Feels very sexy to start the day wet, open and ready for cock. its a different reason for "bottoms who can't take it" and cannot eliminate it completely sadly.

i guess there was a time when i couldn't "take it" but i cannot remember it if it ever was. When i was about 7 or 8 a neighbor friend who i had a crush on took me into His bathroom one day and showed me an enema nozzle and took great delight in explaining to me what it was for and how it worked. As soon as i got home, i found our family enema kit, removed the nozzle and coated it with vaseline from the medicine cabinet and slid it in, just as He described. From that point on, i was an anal slut, pretty much everything i looked at i wondered if i could put it in my ass and how it would feel... by the time i took my first cock, i was more than prepared, i was starving for it and have pretty much been starved my hole life. i'm prolly a bit more open than natural though, so taking cock is the most natural thing in the world for me.

i am a critical care nurse in a teaching hospital and i often catch myself staring at all the FUCKING HOT residents. i swear some of them are flirting with me, which is likely just wishful thinking on my part, but damn there's some sweet hotties. sigh

i 'lost' my virginity to my wife at 21, and it was the second time with her because the first time on our wedding night, i totally missed her vagina. Obviously a virgin lol. In a sense though, that was the life i'd been conditioned to live. i loved my wife, but hell, i was gay and had always been. She even knew that, well, sort of. i had stood up in church when 19 (she was there) and confessed i was sexually attracted to guys... we didn't use the word "gay" at church because we didn't think there was such a thing. She's the only woman i was ever with sexually, but she got my first load. At 26 i went help work on refurbishing a missionary hospital ship in San Pedro harbor, Long Beach CA. They roomed me with one of the young missionaries, "Skip." He didn't trick me, but He definitely seduced me. We played a silent sort of cat and mouse for about 4 hours in the berth we were roomed in together. it was a very dark room, could barely see shadows, and it took me all that time to believe i was seeing His naked body with His hard cock lying on His bunk, and then get up the courage to go over to Him. i did and He wordlessly offered me His cock, which i sucked with a lifetime of need and lust. i separated from my wife (only for six months, i was confused) after that and moved from CA to VA. i went walking on the boardwalk one Sunday and a guy picked me up and took me to His place. By that time i wanted it so bad that when we got naked on HIs bed, i straddled Him and tried to shove His cock into my ass. It was obvious to Him it was my first time and He said: "whoa, just a minute" and ran down stairs and got some Vaseline Intensive Care lotion and proceeded to fuck me, face down on my stomach. He seeded me and opened me and have been a bottom boy ever since.

i'm sorry. That was fucked up. i grew up in a religious culture that conditioned me to believe i was "broken" because of my attraction to guys and that acting on my needs/desires was "sin." Of course, they had to come up with some sort of reasoning for their conclusions and decided that gay people are made because of bullies in their childhood, dominant mothers and passive fathers. i pretty much had all those, so it kept me trapped i the belief i was broken for way longer than it should have. Another popular theory was being forced or raped by a guy when younger. Stuff like that can make it harder to come to a place of self acceptance and confuse one when coming into their sexuality. i hope it wasn't a huge struggle or conflict for you to accept liking guys after having been abused by them...

okay, this had some hot places, but the problem with vids like this is realism (or the lack there of). The first part, where is having his ass felt up by the guys on either side of him, i could see happening subtly in a crowded bus... and found myself imagining i was him. But as it turns to force, not so much. That's not going to happen on a bus. Also, the fighting back in so many of these dramatizations is so obviously not fighting back. he doesn't fight very much, if at all, when the guy sits him on HIs cock.. at one point it looks like he starts stroking his own cock while protesting, and meanwhile, the passengers act as though nothing is happening? To me, the most mind fucking porn of this type would be where the bottom is initially surprised and fighting, but at some point something in him switches and he really wants it and shows it, sort of like being won over or conquered. i have a feeling that most who are interested in rape fantasy relate to that? I.e., not fighting, but actually wanting it. Which raises the question, is it really rape if you want it?

It's a strange line, but a real and distinct one. i'm bottom and have a decided sub streak have encountered guys who think that is carte blanche to do anything they want. submission, at least for me, is a response, not a given. There are infinite ways i can submit and it's connected to consent with me. Someone i know gets a different and deeper submission than a stranger/hook up. i have a long time fantasy of having a relationship with a Top where He has the keys to my door and anytime He need or wants to cum or piss, we both know i'm His and i want Him and what He has inside of me. i imagine Him waking up at 3 am with a hard on, coming over and quietly entering my house and finding me asleep and then waking to His cock pressing against my lips or hole. Or working at the kitchen counter and Him silently coming up behind me, pulling my shorts down and entering me. For me, that would take some, idk, conditioning? To be able to wake from a dead sleep and know it was Him. i don't pretend it would be an automatic, open response. And, He'd be taking some risk, i have a second degree black belt lol. To me, though, the salient point is "we both know i'm his and i want him." Rape is often a one sided knowledge, i.e., the rapist is convinced in his own imagination that the victim wants it. The trickier one is a guy who may want it though he has not given consent. To me, it's not rape if you really want it, but i don't think it is ever right for the Top to assume. In a closer relationship of trust, communication can take different forms and facilitate deeper needs and desires where i believe there can be a knowing and consent. I don't think this can ever happen between strangers.

Spunk, your post was so well written and insightful. Thank you for writing it. It seems, particularly in the US that whenever there is a new disease or disaster, there are televangelists ready to attribute them to "Gods wrath," and as they pass, take credit for praying them away. i was raised and came out of such a culture and it is alive and well. The demonizing attitude of which you speak is just one stroke away from the white house in the US (i.e. Pence) i think you are spot on about "a certain amount of guilt and self loathing" that i believe has been culturally conditioned into most people on a subtle level. While the tide is currently in our favor, and has been progressively for a few years, there is still a strong antigay and homophobic culture that literally "demonizes" us. It hasn't been that long since i had the "gay demons" cast out of me, and the people who believed that my being gay was actually "demonic" are still alive and well, just less visible. i'm a bit of a student of WWII and am particularly amazed and informed at how the tide can turn. Movies like Cabaret and Bent do a good job depticting how a liberal society and environment changed from gay acceptance to persecution. Experimenter is also a great movie on how the same culturally conditioned response to authority that was in Germany during the 30's and 40's was alive and well in the US in the 60's. Really, Milgrams experiments (the topic of the movie) demonstrated that similar response was not unique to Germany. i believe it is naive to think that could never happen again. To me, even if Covid was similar to the HIV virus that devastated the gay community, i don't believe sex was the problem then either. i don't think sex is ever the problem unless it has been forced on someone without their consent. No one in the straight community ever says kissing is the problem because one can transmit and catch the flu that way. In terms of transmission, it's more of an issue for a straight person to kiss his girlfriend who has the flu, then go to work, because the flu can be spread casually. HIV? It's comparatively hard to catch. In terms of cost? The meds developed to combat the flu did not cost any less to develop than HIV meds. They do not cost any less to manufacture, the only difference is the mark up on the price tag to us in the US. Truvada for instance: "According to ACT UP, the medication costs about $6 a month to manufacture—but a month’s worth of the prescription can run as high as $1,500." By my estimation, it is never kissing or fucking or sucking or sex that is at fault, but the cultural demonization you note. ❤️

As frequently mentioned on this site, i have a drawer full of toys i rarely use. Psychologically for me they are for Topping and i buy them wanting Top to use them with me. meh. Still, i have them and do use them. my latest below is a "slink" which i imagine a Top using on me as a butt plug. It's about 24 inches long insertable and the knot has an 8 inch circumference.

Apparently some radar is better than others. And i loved this story. i think we've lost something with online hook ups, the mating dance just isn't the same.

Just got saved lol. i've had this new service for about 6 months where i get my HIV meds delivered to my house, not mail, but courier. i've considered changing it because i could easily pick it up from the pharmacy like i did before the new service, but the guy who delivers it is a cute guy on several levels for me (personality is a big deal for me if it's not just a hook up). Anyway, i've wanted to present my ass to this guy from the first time He delivered, but alas, i think He is only delivering meds. He's really friendly and always hangs out and talks, and this time i was determined to see if He might be into guys... but i think He's just friendly. He mentioned His wife several times, which of course doesn't mean He isn't into guys, but it did hit my pause button and save me from possibly stripping in front of Him today. Maybe next month the ban will be lifted. fuck, i really wanna guy.

i need to have a Man inside of me. i need to feel His cock penetrating and fucking me, hear the sounds He makes, hold His cum deep inside after He shoots. i cannot imagine it changing. i'm having a really hard time not taking Men now.

It's fun to read the types that turn you guys on.

yep, me too. He has a demeanor that i can't exactly identify... makes me wild and weak at the same time.

i've written this one a few places on this site, but one of the most unplanned sexual encounters i have had was while i was driving down the street in my truck, going to the hardware store. A guy pulled up next to me and looked over and our eyes met. That's it, just our eyes, and he pulled forward and in front of me... and i followed. He pulled into a Burger King parking lot and went into the restaurant, i think He may have glanced behind to see if i was following, i don't remember. He went into the BK restroom and i followed close behind. Once inside, He locked the door behind me and, without a word, undid and dropped my jeans and underwear, turned me around while taking HIs hard cock from His own jeans, bent me over and aplied spit and rammed His cock into me. i gasped, and took it, oh hell yeah. It didn't take Him long to bust inside me, and in a flash He zipped up , unlocked the door and left me standing there bent over with His cum dripping out of my ass. i came to myself and locked the door, pulled my jeans up from around my ankles, unlocked the door and left. i've had other experiences at cruising parks that were similar, no words, just sex. So much better than an online hook up. There was a park i Virginia that had a bridge, i'd stand mid way on the bridge pretending to look at the water at dusk, when you couldn't quite be sure that you were seeing what you saw. It was a cruisy place, so not completely "unexpected," but i'd wait till i saw a guy enter the bridge at the end, then lower my shorts just enough to show some ass... if i could hear the guy pause to look as he walked past, i'd lower them a little more as an invite. i've lost count of the number of times a guy would come over, pull my shorts down around my ankles and breed me bent over the rail of the bridge, then zip up and continue His walk when done.

"...a fuck team...." Okay. That seems almost universal so far? i.e., each sees there self taking all of them, just putting an order to it. And i would too, but that's not how this picture/song effects me. It strikes a romantic chord in me vs a lust chord. Of course, the one leads to the other, is not disconnected, but the first singer evokes a very romantic, emotional response in me. His eyes make me want to fold into Him. i can sexualize pretty much any guy, but not every guy touches me in a romanic way.

i love this song, but haven't figured out if i watch it more to hear the song or watch the first guy who sings (second from the right). i am fucking in love every time i watch Him. sigh. It occurs to me that there are four distinct types of guys in this group... Who's your favorite?

Oh wow, good thoughts. Honestly, it never occurred to me that i could lose a load without giving permission... which is prolly presumptuous on my part. it's so hard for me to grasp any bottom taking a Man and His cock and not wanting the load, though i know it happens lol. Also a good point that once a Top is in the process of orgasm, prolly anything said at that point will end up having a positive connotation haha.

Nothing fills me with feelings of 'conspiracy' like an american presidential race. my reason does kick in and i know better (i hope lol) than there being some powerful organization pulling all the strings behind scenes, but over all, i think presidents in america are bought and paid for, not elected. i watched several of the democratic debates and felt a tiny bit encouraged (but only a "tiny bit") by some of the articulate intelligence of some of the candidates. But with each successive debate i watched the intelligence wane and get replaced by canned slogans designed to have mass effect. sigh. When it came down to Biden, my response was WTF?!? i kinda liked the cute gay guy, the two women and Bernie (though concerned about his age). Biden was not even on my list? Yeah, i too have concerns about his mental decline, but that is not a hidden issue, eh? If it's obvious to us, it's obvious to the powers behind him and the fact that he is still their choice sort of supports the notion that presidents are token at best? That others in power are making the day to day decisions? Reagan was in mental decline the last couple of years of his presidency. i don't think we really have a government "of the people, by the people and for the people." That representative government is long gone. i read a book a few years ago. "Infidel" by Ayaan Hirsi Ali. It's a fascinating biography of a woman who grew up in a strict Muslim culture in Somalia and Arabia. She managed to escape the constraints of her cultural upbringing (thus the books title: "Infidel"), immigrate to the Netherlands and in a short period of time become a citizen and member of parliament. To me, that speaks of a representative government. In the US, we get handed two candidates every four years and are told that constitutes a "choice." i cannot remember an election where i ever felt represented.

Also following this with interest. i am never passive, but always measured, trying to respond to what i perceive my Top wants... or more accurately, i don't want to do something my Top doesn't want. i hate pretend or 'role play,' this is all real for me and i feel silly and fake trying to produce 'dirty talk' that may not be there. It's different every time, the actual connection produces the results... i suspect on both sides, Top and bottom? The Top evokes the response in me, He's in control, so what i say and how i respond is very connected to who and how He is. I typically do not hook with guys who don't want to be in control. Even if they are versatile, we aren't hooking unless they are feeling in Top mode. It's a thing with me, i'll forego sex if i feel the chemistry isn't there because i Hate a disappointed partner, "Breed me" sounds and feels demanding to me, not my personality, though i have been known to say "please breed me." Some Tops want begging and know how to get it. For instance with me, if a Top rubs the tip of His cock along my crack or on my hole, teases me with hope of Him penetrating me, i start to feel desperate and begging comes naturally... though i won't usually volunteer begging words, they are right there and real if He says something like: "you want my cock?" or "beg for it." But it's a response to Him. A Top asking for response is one level, and one He evokes with His power. What sends me over the edge is when a Top announces what He wants or is going to do. When a Top tells me He is going to breed me, it's like He is putting an emotional/psychological collar on me right from the start... i'm already His. When a Top announces while He is breeding me or cumming, that's probably the most powerful moment of our connection. Sometimes i say things, sometimes i don't... it really is a response to Him. i almost always moan, cannot help that. i have also whimpered, but that takes a very particular kind of Top, and it's one who wanted it and worked for it. i am not a natural whimperer lol, and if i whimper, it's because He knew how to get me too.

i don't think the general meaning of the word changes with the user, but the intent or response does? To me, the general meaning of the word "faggot" is a bottom guy who adores, craves, needs, wants, etc. ad infinitum, a Man. i think there are some people who do not accept that there are faggots for all sorts of reasons, and they try to hurt faggots thinking they are 'bad.' i believe there are some who have some faggot in them, who haven't come to a place of self acceptance and maybe hate their self vicariously by hating other faggots. Then i think there are the faggot opposite: "Top, Dom, Man, breeder, penetrator, etc. ad infinitum" who recognizes and is attracted to a faggot as the natural connecting place for Who They are. There seems to be infinite variations on those? "Faggot," for me, is just an extreme label for who and how i am. When i connect with an 'extreme' Top, being a "faggot" just means i am completely receptive of who He is and wanting/needing to be the compliment, receiver (lover) of Who and how He is. To me, faggot is a term used to try and express a complete giving over, and the Tops use of faggot can be a recognition and affirmation of that facilitating the bond between Man and faggot.

i work 13 hour shifts one week on, one week off. i'm a nurse at a hospital, so taking care of Covid patients and wearing PPE all day gives perspective. On the other hand, been talking to a Dom online for a few weeks and submitting to Him, so i haven't had an orgasm even from jacking in that time and am deliciously and crazy horny. i pretty much lust after every guy that walks past me at the hospital all day, staring whisfully at them. When i'm off, stuck at home for a week alone, spend time online on forums like this one, couple of kink forums, discussions. Pick up sites, getting cruised and having to say no is really frustrating. i edge a lot when i am off work, but then have to turn on Netflix or something to distract myself so i don't cum. installed a walk in shower, new quartz counters in the kitchen, lots of house painting and the garden is looking really good. but fuck, i need a Man.

Thanks babe, back to work on Friday

This Covid social isolation is making me pretty wild and crazy, and imagine its having similar effect on many here, especially those of us who live alone and rely on hook ups for connecting sexually. i've been talking to a Dom on line who has had me orgasm free for about a week now, and i 'm climbing the walls watching guys get bred online and edging and holding back from cumming. a guy contacted me earlier today wanting to do an aonoymous walk in breeding and i was a good boy and said "i want to, but we can't." now im sitting here dying for it, wishing He was here breeding me. fuck

Wow. i was picturing myself opening the door and bending over, glad i haven't been tempted thusly. Well done on you.