tallslenderguy

wow. Watching some of those struck a lot of chords in me.

Will You explain what You consider an "Alpha sub" to be?

i don't see being a bottom as a matter of obligation or duty, more of nature? i.e., it seems to be my natural drive to take a Mans cock and desire to penetrate, breed. If a Man approaches me and wants to slide in and unload (or piss for that matter), i'm going to turn over or bend over and present my hole. i don't ask about things like STI's, and typically, neither does He. Having said that, i don't fetishize disease. i don't purposely chase or try to spread disease. i get tested regularly because i LOVE Men and don't want to see anyone getting sick or hurt and i encourage everyone to get tested regularly, for their sake and for the sake of our community.

Exactly lol ❤️ . Hey, remember, i'm a sub bottom, i understand because of similarities. Where i was going with the feminist/Patriarchy comments was that forced Patriarchal standards, in a wrong context, have caused a fuckload of cultural damage. i believe that forcing all women (whether they be submissive, Dom or somewhere in between) has led to many women adopting manipulation as a survival mechanism. If a woman is not a submissive and she is in relationship in a culture and with a man who assumes it, it's a way around submitting that doesn't come naturally. We're natural submissives, so it would actually violate something in us to manipulate a Man. If you're anything like me, the idea is abhorant and repulsive. But patriarchy has fucked things up for some of us too. A lot of Dom or Dom leaning guys have also grown up in a culture filled with negative Patriarchal effects. They may associate submissive with manipulative because that's what they've encountered culturally, not understanding that a true submissive has no desire to manipulate.... quite the opposite sometimes at least. For instance, in me, i am opened up and vulnerable to a Man who is intelligent and uses 'grooming' type techniques, which are a form of manipulation. Not the same though, i abhor the dishonesty of manipulation i have experienced with women, but adore the sort of manipulation i have experienced with a Man.... probably the same way, and maybe for similar reasons that a Dom man might be repelled by unnatural submission. The grooming i have experienced with a Dom Man is so different from the manipulation i have encountered with a woman. The grooming is subtle, below the radar, but i think the difference is the symbiotic nature... it is Him using me, but it meets a need in both of us versus robbery and one sidedness. Hard to explain what i feel, but it is so distinct. i think a lot who identify as Dom think that needs being met has to be one sided for it to be truly a D/s dynamic, but i think the most intense D/s dynamic is where each sides needs just naturally meet the others, even though they are opposite. Simply put, it is fully a Tops desire to fuck and breed, and it's fully a bottoms desire to be fucked and bred... the needs/desires are opposite, and symbiotic. The fun of relationship is finding all the different ways that energy of need and desire can be expressed. E.g., You and your BF discovered together that He needs a toilet... and you need to be a toilet. There are innumerable examples of how this dynamic can be experienced and waiting to be discovered and explored.

i'm pretty feminist (not feminine), and i'm convinced that patriarchy applied universally to male/female has fucked things up, because it doesn't always apply. There are Dom women just like there are Dom men, There are Top women, just like there are Top Men. i think those things are emotional/psycological dispositions. They may find lots of different expression in sex, but i don't think sex dictates the postions (physical or emotional) we take, but the other way around. i don't believe a bottom/subs kinks, needs, desires are a matter of being unsubmissive... i think they are what makes him who He is, and that can get really complex, i know. Like some subs need/want things like to be objectified, bullied, beat up... and some Dom's need/want a sub like that. But i think that is individual expression, not a universal rule. i think the best relationships are based on chemistry. Again, i pull from natural law, opposites attract and bond. But were human, not ions. Our 'electrical charge' charge is much more complex because we have intellect and emotions... which makes the process exciting and fun and _______________. Ions don't get to enjoy feelings, eh? i think we all have our kinks, and i think that is (in part) where chemistry is an important factor. For instance, i'm pretty sure i wouldn't have a lot of success in a relationship with a Dominant bottom lol. i'd feel pulled apart because i'd be conflicted by my desire/need to submit, but i'd feel untrue to myself trying to top. So, i may love that guy, but a relationship with Him would be impractical. Those are kinks we would probably each know about ourselves ahead of time, before even getting into relationship. But we're alive and fluid, it's not like we have one standard set of kinks that never get added too. you have a kink/need/desire for piss, your BF didn't have that particular kink, but He has the disposition behind the kink. Discovering common kinks can be scary, but also exciiting. i don't think you so much "lead" your boyfriend to use you as a toilet as you introduced Him to that part of yourself (made yourself vulnerable to Him, naked). When His uses you that way, it's not like He is making a sacrifice to please you, right? Rather, He's discovered a new way to Dom you that He was unaware of before. If He really gets into it, you guys are lucky you have chemistry that way, because your needs are met symbiotically vs one of you trying to compromise to meet the others need. i think the only time it becomes an attempt to "lead" is when you use manipulation to try and get your way, regardless of how He is or feels. I.e., if i had a boyfriend that i introduced to piss and i could clearly see that He was not thoroughly loving it, and it was meeting a Dom need in Him, i would not want it. i'd completely rather give up something like piss than get it by manipulation or Him making some sort of sacrifice. I only want mutual connections with someone, those are the most intense and best, but they are often a matter of discovery. We don't know all those places of connection up front, i believe that's part of the adventure of relationship.

i find that so hot and sort of affirming as well. i have fairly complex and involved notions about the sexual/nature spectrum with. my wiring has sub, bottom at one end and Dom Top on the other end, of the spectrum, versatile somewhere in between. i see the 'spectrum as multidimensional, not just linear, and i believe that there is such a thing as dom bottoms or sub tops, but i understand that i don't have chemistry with that, so for me, Dom is always Top and sub is always bottom, with a whole complex list of what constitutes "Top" or "bottom." For instance, i see bottom as not just a physical thing, but emotional, psychological. In that vein of reasoning, as a bottom i relate as being the receiver, one who gets pissed in and on, penetrated, psychologically inseminated. The fact that your bf "took a long time to get there" in my mind is more a factor of cultural conditioning than nature. With no evidence to base this on (lol), i think He is a Dom Top by nature and that His natural inclination is to penetrate, deposit Himself in a bottom, leave His 'mark' on a bottom, etc.. What you guys overcame was cultural conditioning He had against putting HIs piss in you, but He eventually gave in to His nature as He discovered it served as an expression of Who He is. Lol, fanciful maybe, but i think there has always been an understanding of D/s Top/bottom as nature (consider the ancient philosophy of yin/yang). Thought the expressions of the D/s T/b dynamic can be infinite, at the the core needs/desires like wanting to piss in/on to mark, subdue, own and desires/needs to be pissed in/on, be marked, subdued, owned, are (awesome) expressions of our basic natures. i see them all as based i the needs/desires to penetrate, inseminate and impregnate in creative ways.

Yes! What is it about the inclination or mindset of some to turn an individual desire or need into a generic stereotype? A awesome part of sex is it can facilitate us connecting on so many different levels with another person... an individual and unique real, emotional, intellectual and physical being. i suspect our brain does typing as a means of repeating or avoiding good or bad experiences by just reacting based on former experience vs thinking and considering every person and event? i fucking love how you are into people. You are awesome.

Was thinking about the power of piss this morning after reading some posts on another site from a guy who wanted to figure out how to pee his diaper during the night while he slept. So many layers too that. i'm not one for 'role play.' i find reality is so much more fun and intense, and there are so many of us out here with kinks, i'd rather experience those kinks with someone i have chemistry with that play some sort of pretend role. Age 'play' has no appeal to me, but i have experienced being regressed by an intelligent, understanding and affectionate Dom, and it was a mind bending experience. my guess is, part of the power of WS for me is rooted in the fact that i wet my bed till i was 13. It was deeply emotional, humiliating and frustrating for me. i tried so hard not to, and had no control or understanding, which probably exacerbated it. But, eventually, i stopped. That natural and normal barrier/boundry that gets formed in the brain and tells the body to hold your pee in while your asleep, finally and eventually formed in me. Reading about another's needs and desires this morning exposed what i call a "collar place" in my emotional/psychological make up, and i realized more about how a Mans piss and my pee can be powerful places where a Dom/Top can collar me. The guy i was reading about was talking about making himself pee his diaper while he slept, which has no appeal for me. i don't want to make myself do anything, As a bottom with some sub mixed in, i respond to the machinations of a Top/Dom who's needs and desires are to control and create using a sub bottom. i imagined having a Man in my life who set about to collar me using that emotional place from my childhood and taking me back there by reverse training or manipulating me so that He removes that boundary or barrier in my brain and takes me back to a place where i wet myself as i sleep. It's a strange thought, because that was such a painful and frustrating part of my life, so i don't completely understand why it's such and exciting thought to imagine a Man in my life who has the power to control and affect me in that way?

There's a Top on this site who is in His young 20's. Normally, that would be a hard sell, but He has a sweet streak, is intelligent and considerate, with some Dom thrown in.... and He's gorgeous too. He definitely owns a piece of my heart and could prolly possess and control my pussy.

For me, it's not about age... on either end of the spectrum. Things like intelligence, mature attitude, are very important to me. Immaturity and self absorption are turn offs at any age for me. Guys who are self possessed and cofindent enough that they don't have to compensate by being assholes can own me.

Exactly. i respond to the internal, psychological Top that a Guy is. He can have a 3 inch physical cock, but if He is all Top and secure in who He is, He can own me with His 3 inch physical cock because He can penetrate and inseminate me with a lot more than His cock.

i too can only offer a bottom perspective. For me, it’s more the idea and intent behind a Top pissing in or on me (ideally in). i’m not all that into smells, I even seem to be a rare guy who likes when a Top wears a light cologne, but for me piss is about Him marking or impregnating His territory, not me smelling rank. i love having a gaped hole that looks obviously used for the same reason, it’s like having His signature on and in me.

i think the Alpha/beta dynamic is real, but individual and varied, i see it as part of the sexual spectrum. The type of Alpha i'm attracted to is One who is driven by the need/desire to control the sexual creative process. i think there are Men who are driven to inseminate, and i see the expression of insemination as going beyond the actual physical act, especially with humans who are not just physical beings, but emotional and psycological beings. For instance, to me an Alpha can express the inseminating drive by pissing in or on another guy, by penetrating his hole, by penetrating him psychologically and emotionally and inseminating him there. For me the dynamic is about Effector and effected, the adventure is discovering the depths of that and the huge variety of ways it can be accomplished.

i’d change the wording to:” Your dick is good for creating/making loose whores. “Truth is, for me i might be a little afraid at first, but emotionally and physically i’d so want You and Your Name on and in me. Making my hole into Your loose cunt is like You will always be with me, and i love that. my favorite is a Top who is so good at what He does that He slowly seduces my hole to where I don’t even realize that He’s turned me into His loose pussy till after He’s done it.

Yes. For me, a Mans piss is as awesome as His cum. Different, but fucking awesome. In some ways, more amazing because when i hold onto it and absorb it, i can tell He has impregnated me because when i pee i can smell His piss in my urine and i know i have absorbed Him into myself. To me a Man pissing is another form of Him cumming. When i lived in VA, i used to frequent this restroom at a mall and i'd get bred under the stall wall. Often would pass notes back and forth first to see what we were looking for. One time a guy slid His thighs and cock under the wall and i mounted Him and He fucked me. After He was done, He handed me a note thanking me saying: "thanks, i've had to go all morning." (He'd used me as His urinal and filled me with piss). i loved Him for it, and He knew it. i love the Top/bottom dynamic where both get what they need just by being who they are.

Never been turned on by race play, just doesn't strike a chord in me. Mind fuck humiliation though... damn. It has to be subtle to really work on me, i've experienced it with Top/Dom guys of a type, who are emotionally and mentally powerful, but the farthest thing from forceful or bullying. i guess that's what makes it so powerful for me, that they are able to get the upper hand and control me, then subtly make it clear that's what's happened as i submit to Them. i had one Dom who regressed me by continuously praising and encouraging me as a "Good boy!!" the whole time i was gagging and tearing, nose running working so hard to please Him by taking His huge cock in my throat. i felt like a little kid trying to please His so hard, and He knew how to get me to that place and control me there. i adored Him, i couldn't help it, and He knew it... we both did.

i'm a critical care nurse and i just spent the weekend caring for a Covid-19 patient. She is young, has no other medical issues and is on day 11 today. We are already in a shortage of personal protective equipment (PPE) in the US and it hasn't reached the stage of Italy. The US is ridiculously unprepared. i was sick with Covid like symptoms for 10 days prior to going back to work on Friday, and yet still have not been able to get tested to know what i had/have. i had to reuse the same mask all day Friday because of the shortage of gowns and masks. Healthcare workers are dying in Italy because of a lack of proper testing and PPE, same thing can happen in the US. Countries like Singapore, S Korea and Taiwan tested early and everyone could get tested. Here's the missing ingredient the chasers don't seem to get, you don't feel like having sex when you're as sick as you get from Covid or AID's. I had to hold the thermometer for my patient she was so weak. i for one want all gay guys to live and thrive, i love men and don't want to see our community decimated. Please be safe guys.

Yes, diet. Fiber, the more from a food source of whole food plant based, the better. Fiber creates bulk that feeds the colon micro biome, but is not absorbed by our body, thereby filling the space and brushing it clean as it passes. Animal protein and fat has no fiber and little to no bulk, it makes things much messier and hard to clean up.

i practiced martial arts for 25+ years and loved sparring. A lot of guys would seem mystified when i'd congratulate them on an landed punch or kick. To me it's like sort of a dance, especially when you're experienced, when you get so focused in you move almost in unison with your partner. Also when your experienced enough to pull a punch or kick and your partner knows you could have flattened him if you landed it and there's a knowledge between you, that can make a bond... or resentment. i never felt resentment, just respect, but then... i love guys and love when they do well.

i think i understand what you are saying, but "bat in your own league" doesn't seem well thought out to me, kind of reflexive. i think any guy who would say "bat in your league" in their profile is being presumptuous. It's a preemptive strike, but it assumes there is a universal standard out there that puts us all into a "league" of some sort and that everyone can be aware of their 'league' prior to approaching someone. That's just not true. i've had guys hit on me that i thought were way out of my 'league,' and i didn't reject their bat because of how i felt. i think guys who are too obtuse to take "no" for an answer are just not respectful of other people, i don't think it has anything to do with what 'league' they are in.

"Researchers have detected COVID-19 viral RNA and live virus in specimens other than nose-throat swabs and sputum samples, raising the possibility that the disease may spread through additional routes.... The findings imply that the coronavirus may be transmitted through feces and invade the circulatory system, the researchers said. "A small percentage of blood samples had positive PCR test results, suggesting that infection sometimes may be systemic," they wrote. "Transmission of the virus by respiratory and extrarespiratory routes may help explain the rapid spread of disease." [think before following links] http://www.cidrap.umn.edu/news-perspective/2020/03/study-covid-19-may-spread-several-different-ways

"Bat in your league" As i see it, egocentricity is where ethnocentricity derives from. These guys assume they're a part of a league that is defined by them based on their individual bias or want. my guess is they haven't gotten together and actually formed a league, just a bunch of individual guys with balls and bats all making up their own rules on who gets to play.

i know there are no universal rules about this, but this is how i am. my favorite position is lying on my stomach under my Top. ( i'll happily move into what ever position He wants as we fuck, except me on Top of Him. For me, that is just too much like topping, even if i am the one being penetrated). But, lying on my stomach feels best to me because i feel most physically and emotionally subdued/controlled that way. And for me, that's a big part of fucking, the Top's desire to penetrate and leave a part of Himself in a bottom. i see it as He is the creator, the artist, and i'm submitting to His creative energy. As a bottom, i'm His receptor (and want to be). i can't say i never move, but my movement is a result of His influence on me, not something i am doing independently. i almost always moan, sometimes whimper, but i will literally fight any urge that isn't submissive... He is subduing me. Not unusual for me to bite my mattress while being fucked, my head my flail, but my ass remains in position and submissive. Some Tops kiss my neck or ear and that has the effect of making my back arch and my ass push into Him, but again, that is a button He is pushing (whether knowingly or not), and i cannot help the response.

Polyamory makes sense to me, especially when someone is bisexual, but in general too. For those who are more relationship oriented, but who do not buy into the notion that one person can meet all the needs or wants of another, it's a way of having dedicated relationship vs just hooking up. I don't think it's easy to pull off going against the cultural norm, an adventure of sorts, but i applaud those making the effort to be true to their selves vs trying to fit into what someone else has dictated 'should be.'

Tough stuff to deal with. i wouldn't presume to tell you what to do, but since you are looking for feedback, i'll share my thoughts and feelings for what they may be worth to you and the discussion. i have come to believe that love is not enough of a foundation on which to build a lasting relationship. i see love as part practical, i.e., a conscious decision to consider another person, know and understand them and affirm their value. That sounds way more clinical than i find it is in practice. i think the need for love (as defined) is universal. The other part of 'love' is sort of mysterious to me, attraction that we cannot always put our finger on and i'm not sure it actually qualifies as "love" or is more an expression of wanting than giving? Still, so many (romantic) relationships seem to evolve because of this thing we call "love." To me, love is largely a choice... at least the practical side i mention above. Another component of romantic relationship, that i think gets little cognitive awareness, is compatability. With guys, i think sexual compatibility is a big fucking deal (pun intended). i know this is an over simplification, but physics demonstrates that opposites attract and form bonds (i.e., negatively ions attract to positive ions). i think consideration of human nature has extended that (reality?) to relationship. E.g., the idea of yin/yang is ancient. i believe that a successful relationship requires self awareness. But self awareness is not just a product of introspection. If our self knowledge depended on our view of our selves, we'd all be deluded crazies lol, give stuff like subjectivity, cultural influence, etc.. That is to say, another way we obtain self knowledge is in relationship with others, that we also can see ourselves in that reflection of relationship. One of the funny things that occurs in a dedicated relationship is, once you live together your mate will eventually point out things about you that you were unaware of, and vice versa. And, of course, that is not always an accurate reflection, no ones 'mirror' (so to speak) is flawless. i think the fact that we learn and change (and hopefully grow) in relationship, points to the fact that we, and consequently our relationships, are fluid... not static. They change. You note that: " I have desires that were never filled while I was single and honestly I really want to experience them." It seems like this is something you have become aware of over the course of time, so it's not like you entered a relationship knowing that you want/need to bottom. From what i have seen, when relationship encounters incompatibility like this it goes (generally) one of two ways: the parameters of the relationship changes along with the participants, or the relationship (as it is) ends. Which to me, is really the same thing. As a side note, i think it's possible to "really, really love" someone in an open relationship. i believe love is an affirmation of who that person is, not who they should be. i think jealousy is a product of failed expectation, and that it's the opposite of love. You guys have 7 sweet years invested in each other, i'd suggest relationship counseling as a means of clarifying and, hopefully, preserving your love for each other whether the relationship stays the same or not.