tallslenderguy

"Researchers have detected COVID-19 viral RNA and live virus in specimens other than nose-throat swabs and sputum samples, raising the possibility that the disease may spread through additional routes.... The findings imply that the coronavirus may be transmitted through feces and invade the circulatory system, the researchers said. "A small percentage of blood samples had positive PCR test results, suggesting that infection sometimes may be systemic," they wrote. "Transmission of the virus by respiratory and extrarespiratory routes may help explain the rapid spread of disease." [think before following links] http://www.cidrap.umn.edu/news-perspective/2020/03/study-covid-19-may-spread-several-different-ways

"Bat in your league" As i see it, egocentricity is where ethnocentricity derives from. These guys assume they're a part of a league that is defined by them based on their individual bias or want. my guess is they haven't gotten together and actually formed a league, just a bunch of individual guys with balls and bats all making up their own rules on who gets to play.

i know there are no universal rules about this, but this is how i am. my favorite position is lying on my stomach under my Top. ( i'll happily move into what ever position He wants as we fuck, except me on Top of Him. For me, that is just too much like topping, even if i am the one being penetrated). But, lying on my stomach feels best to me because i feel most physically and emotionally subdued/controlled that way. And for me, that's a big part of fucking, the Top's desire to penetrate and leave a part of Himself in a bottom. i see it as He is the creator, the artist, and i'm submitting to His creative energy. As a bottom, i'm His receptor (and want to be). i can't say i never move, but my movement is a result of His influence on me, not something i am doing independently. i almost always moan, sometimes whimper, but i will literally fight any urge that isn't submissive... He is subduing me. Not unusual for me to bite my mattress while being fucked, my head my flail, but my ass remains in position and submissive. Some Tops kiss my neck or ear and that has the effect of making my back arch and my ass push into Him, but again, that is a button He is pushing (whether knowingly or not), and i cannot help the response.

Polyamory makes sense to me, especially when someone is bisexual, but in general too. For those who are more relationship oriented, but who do not buy into the notion that one person can meet all the needs or wants of another, it's a way of having dedicated relationship vs just hooking up. I don't think it's easy to pull off going against the cultural norm, an adventure of sorts, but i applaud those making the effort to be true to their selves vs trying to fit into what someone else has dictated 'should be.'

Tough stuff to deal with. i wouldn't presume to tell you what to do, but since you are looking for feedback, i'll share my thoughts and feelings for what they may be worth to you and the discussion. i have come to believe that love is not enough of a foundation on which to build a lasting relationship. i see love as part practical, i.e., a conscious decision to consider another person, know and understand them and affirm their value. That sounds way more clinical than i find it is in practice. i think the need for love (as defined) is universal. The other part of 'love' is sort of mysterious to me, attraction that we cannot always put our finger on and i'm not sure it actually qualifies as "love" or is more an expression of wanting than giving? Still, so many (romantic) relationships seem to evolve because of this thing we call "love." To me, love is largely a choice... at least the practical side i mention above. Another component of romantic relationship, that i think gets little cognitive awareness, is compatability. With guys, i think sexual compatibility is a big fucking deal (pun intended). i know this is an over simplification, but physics demonstrates that opposites attract and form bonds (i.e., negatively ions attract to positive ions). i think consideration of human nature has extended that (reality?) to relationship. E.g., the idea of yin/yang is ancient. i believe that a successful relationship requires self awareness. But self awareness is not just a product of introspection. If our self knowledge depended on our view of our selves, we'd all be deluded crazies lol, give stuff like subjectivity, cultural influence, etc.. That is to say, another way we obtain self knowledge is in relationship with others, that we also can see ourselves in that reflection of relationship. One of the funny things that occurs in a dedicated relationship is, once you live together your mate will eventually point out things about you that you were unaware of, and vice versa. And, of course, that is not always an accurate reflection, no ones 'mirror' (so to speak) is flawless. i think the fact that we learn and change (and hopefully grow) in relationship, points to the fact that we, and consequently our relationships, are fluid... not static. They change. You note that: " I have desires that were never filled while I was single and honestly I really want to experience them." It seems like this is something you have become aware of over the course of time, so it's not like you entered a relationship knowing that you want/need to bottom. From what i have seen, when relationship encounters incompatibility like this it goes (generally) one of two ways: the parameters of the relationship changes along with the participants, or the relationship (as it is) ends. Which to me, is really the same thing. As a side note, i think it's possible to "really, really love" someone in an open relationship. i believe love is an affirmation of who that person is, not who they should be. i think jealousy is a product of failed expectation, and that it's the opposite of love. You guys have 7 sweet years invested in each other, i'd suggest relationship counseling as a means of clarifying and, hopefully, preserving your love for each other whether the relationship stays the same or not.

i love the idea of this.

i think You are right, i could have stated the need for "relationship" more clearly rather than making it implicit. i'm pretty convinced that any significant D/s interaction requires the trust that can only come from communication, and i love the "empathic" almost "telepathic" link that can be had. i think you state it perfectly and love how You get the distinction between Dom/Top and a "psycho." i think intent changes the energy, approach and effect of the act.

i think it's a fascinating dynamic. For me, it has to do with the Tops desire/need for power and control and the corresponding/complimentary need/desire of a bottom to submit to power and control. There's also the factor of effect. As a bottom, i love the idea of being affected by a Top. For me, the 'effect' is a way of Him putting His 'mark' on me or His presence in me. For me, stealthing (not pozzing) can be an expression of deep understanding and connection. I.e., the Top 'knows' what the bottom needs and wants naturally. One of the best sexual connections of my life was when a Top stealth pissed inside of me. It wasn't a matter of Him just taking what He wanted, it was much more complex. He figured out that i'd love it and gave it to me as a sort of surprise gift vs a forced act. I think it's tricky and risky (it can instead be presumptuous instead of "knowledge") for the Top, that it can show a deep courage and awesome effort to connect by getting to know a bottom well enough to be able to 'know' their needs and wants and through that intimate knowledge enjoy power and control in that bottoms life.

We don't disagree as far as i can see here. i don't mean to imply there is no such thing as sexual addiction, just noting there is a cultural niche that views being gay as sex addiction, equating being gay with alcoholism. As to the OP's opening question: "is sexual addiction natural?" It seems to me that sex addiction is a natural phenomena, but "natural" does not make sex addiction healthy or universal.

The term "sexual addiction" was made popular by religious organizations who use sex to control people. The religious de-gaying organizations that popped up during the 70's and 80's referred to being gay as sexual addiction, many equated being gay to alcoholism. The truth is, just about anything can become an addiction. Far more people are harmed by junk food addiction in our society than sex, but pizza and chips don't have a major cultural stigma attached to them like sex does... and particularly non heteronormative sex. Thankfully, that is changing, but we still have a VP in this country who would toss gay people in jail if he had the opportunity.

i always looked much younger than my age till i hit 50, about 10-15 years younger. i was tall and skinny with a boyish face... and pretty much have always been a bottom. On the flip side, boyish or cute Tops are a hot mind fuck for me and i love mind fuck. i'm not particularly attracted to cross dressing or 'she-males,' but have a long held fantasy of being bred by a she-male who is all Top. Again, for me there's a very hot mind fuck dimension to being topped by a guy who doesn't fit the stereotype as a top. i love breaking away from stereotypes. To me the most powerful Tops are those who do not rely on being rough or forceful, who are so confident and Top that they don't need it. i know that's just a personal wiring thing with me, any hint of force or bullying is a turn off for me, but a Top who knows i want and need to open to Him and realizes He already has the key and doesn't have to break the door down... that's ownership for me.

i've had a Top fall asleep on top of me before...i thought it was kinda sweet and hot at the same time, he was obviously pretty happy in there. After awhile he got kinda heavy though. i have a similar fantasy of having the kind of connection with a guy that He can slip in any time during the night when He needs to cum or piss, doesn't matter if i'm awake or asleep. To me, the idea of waking up whenever He slips inside is awesome.

"Bareback: the new routine way of having sex?" i don't think bareback is "the new routine way of having sex," but that sex is returning to normal and natural? I.e., the "routine" isn't "new." my feel has always been that Tops, or guys topping, have the need/desire to leave a part of their self, their effect, in someone as part of their drive to Top? As a bottom, i have a need/drive to have a part of my Top in me it seems as a permanent marker, effect, impartation? Condoms block a part of that process, they are unnatural, so i think we all feel something vital missing with condoms, like sex is incomplete. i think the return to bareback is the return to normal.

i love a Man with a PA. and love that you wear one that You like to use it as a part of your cock and penetrating a guy to stretch "a hole good." i'm not masochistic though and don't relate at all to receiving physical injury as part of sex. i'm not into guys who want to physically harm me. Those spikes would tear the insides up and i wanna preserve my hole for future and repeated use. For me, finding piercings that you can wear and employ during sex are the hottest. If they are just accoutrements to look at, they make me kind of wistful and sad, like being all dressed up with no place to go.

i've thought of this... and tried it with men in general. But where to you meet gay guys in a non sexual setting? There aren't a lot of gay venues that are non sexual? i've tried churches that are gay, but that can really be weird... i escaped a religious background, so there's a lot of trappings that i have a low tolerance for.

Wow, i think you have some great insights here. i think we all have baggage, that it's often an apt analogy that can cover a lot of travel. Some have unpacked and travel light, some just keep adding pieces of luggage. Some forget what they have packed, some have baggage packed by others... it's an analogy one can run with. i think "damaged personalites" is a good distinction, though it sounds kind of like a permanent condition to me, and i hate to think of anyone who is beyond hope or change (not saying you are saying this, just how the term strikes me). i like your point though, and it seems the guys you describe are part of the gay and straight world. One of my fears when a younger guy shows interest in me is i don't want him to feel fetishized. i would literally be embarrassed to be in a relationship where the other was considered or felt in any way like a trophy or bimbo. i find the idea of both repellant. i don't even approach younger guys for fear they might see me as just interested in their youth, which is so far from the truth. i prize maturity and depth more than anything in a relationship, and that often seems to drive both young and old away. When a anyone approaches me, i am often overly cautious trying to understand why they are interested. More often than not, that is interpreted as insecurity, or evokes insecurity, when it is really an attempt to get at what is there and discover if there is compatibility. Yet older guys wanting younger seems common enough to be a thing? i'm honest about my age, so i cannot go to a hook up site, or dating site anymore, without getting numerous guys hitting me up with exactly this (i.e., presenting as a 'bimbo' or 'trophy' right up front). It's a formulaic approach telling me how they are "looking for the love of their life, explaining how sincere and real they are" while their profile is empty and their profile pic is usually young and drop dead gorgeous. But there is obviously a market of shallow guys out there who want this. It makes it harder for real guys, both younger and older, to find each other, it muddies the waters. It bothers the hell out of me and is probably the number one reason for me 'giving up' on trying for relationship. i've found more of what i look for in relationship on BZ than anywhere else. Funny, eh? But there is a great core group of honest, open and articulate guys here that give me hope. It's not a dating or hook up site, so maybe that's why it's easier to find the elements of relationship here that seem to be missing on hookup or dating sites?

Thank you for putting your self out here. i'd hate to see you "losing interest in both having sex, being intimate and even being romantic with guys in general ." This doesn't seem a "dumb question" to me, even given the porn presentation and stereotype to the contrary. The question is also probably double edged, i.e.: "do younger guys really want older men?" The assertions about older men: " FALSE SEXUAL DESIRE, DEPENDENCE ON EMOTIONAL VALIDITY, YOU FIX YOURSELF TO MEET MY STANDARDS" can also be true of younger men. If you have only been in relationship with older guys, i can see how you'd come to associate this with age, but i think this stuff crosses age boundaries. i think this may be more a question of emotional development and maturity, not age? What is it about an older man that appeals to you that you cannot have in a guy closer to your age? That's not a challenge, but a real question. Can you list the things you associate with the older man you desire. i question (in myself) the notions i have about age. i wonder how many of my ideas about age are associated with age or just associated with the individual? For instance, i work in a critical care section of a hospital and many of the certified nursing assistants (CNA's) are younger, and lots of them are guys. i am daily blown away, and often brought to tears, by their substance as human beings. We all know intellectually that maturity does not necessarily come with age, but that knowledge is emotionally counter intuitive lol. i think we expect maturity, and all the stuff that comes with it, to be present and more developed the older one gets. i think that is potentially true, but often isn't reality. It seems the three scenarios you listed: FALSE SEXUAL DESIRE, DEPENDENCE ON EMOTIONAL VALIDITY, YOU FIX YOURSELF TO MEET MY STANDARDS, are the negative side of what you are looking for? I.e., you are looking for a match to your sexual desire, someone who validates you and doesn't just look to be validated, and someone who accepts you for who you are? And that, to me, seems the challenge of relationship. Relationship seems to me to require a mixture of chemistry and maturity.

Ditto on both. To me, a defining characteristic of an adult (be they man or woman) is their desire, willingness and ability to provide for their self. If i want a pet, i'll get a dog...(and a dog would likely fuck me for free or dog food lol).

Seriously, right? How can such a descriptor be anything other than subjective? And as to average? Here's some info on an average american male: "Meet the average American man. He weighs 198 pounds and stands 5 feet 9 inches tall. He has a 40-inch waist, and his body mass index is 29, at the high end of the “overweight” category." [think before following links] https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/nhsr/nhsr122-508.pdf

Same here, but in reverse. i.e., i'm a bottom only and only look for guys who identify as total Tops, i don't like my penis played with. ^^This^^ i have tried. Really. i have nothing against versatile guys, and love bottoms too, but i know i am not sexually compatible with them. i have had so many versatile guys tell me online that they want to breed and love to top, and then try and get my penis when we hook. And i am completely clear. i explain in all of my hook up profiles that i am "total bottom and don't want my penis touched." A year ago i talked to a guy on Squirt for a few weeks, he was versatile and lived about an hour and a half away. i was so clear about being total bottom. i even ask most guys if they are disappointed that i am total bottom and don't want my penis touched. i opened up with this guy and we talked kinks and i decided to spend a week end with him. i even picked him up and brought him to my house. The guy did a total flip on me and was all over me touching my penis. i'm pretty sub, so i didn't resist. When he got back home he emailed me and was excited and wanted to know how i liked the weekend. i told him the truth and he got defensive and made fun of the fact that i am a total bottom. It's a mystery to me because i have had some great experiences with versatile guys, so i want to believe if i am just clear enough that i am total bottom that they will only approach me when they are wanting to top. But i have been burned so many times that i am gun shy. Honestly, BZ seems to be the exception, it seems most of the versatile guys on here get it and wouldn't try to make a bottom top them. But there are so many who just don't get it. i get the impression that some believe that everyone is like them, that because we all have a penis and asshole we can all choose to top or bottom. Because they don't relate, they seem to doubt it's a reality that total Tops and total bottoms are a thing lol. sigh. i will still hook on occasion with guys identifying as "versatile," but am painfully clear that i won't flip. But i will not entertain having a romantic relationship with a versatile guy, because i don't want to become emotionally entangled with a guy and not be sexually compatible. i was married to a woman most of my life. i loved this person dearly, but wtf, i'm gay and we were not sexually compatible... and that caused us both a world of hurt that i won't repeat. Prolly made me a little gun shy even for hook ups lol.

i have a similar response as ErosWired. For me, the term "daddy" is not so much an age thing as positional. Like him, i associate the word with my kids and the idea of having sex with my kids is totally opposite of how i am wired sexually. It's an emotional, visceral response for me, not a thought out intellectual reaction. How the guy i am with associates or uses the word does not change the meaning of the word for me emotionally, even if i understand where he is coming from. The reverse is true for me as well, i.e., i never had any kind of sexual attraction towards my own father. In fact, when i was younger my only real issues with having sex with an older guy was if he reminded me of my father. I had kids and was a "daddy" at age 22 and i looked like a skinny 15 year old. Reality is, one can become a daddy as soon as they start producing sperm, around 10-12 years old. It's interesting to me how the meaning of the word takes on all sorts of emotional angles depending on who you are. But at it's core, the title is traditionally given to a guy who has reproduced using his sperm. In an adoptive case, a guy can assume responsibility for the care of another assuming the traditional role of father. "Daddy" is an affectionate term for father, but i don't hear of guys using the term "father" with a hook up lol. It's curious to me how the word, like others, has been co-opted and has different connotation, mostly emotional i think for most of us. While i don't relate to those who like to use the word "daddy," whether from the Top or bottom, Dom or sub, i can understand that it has emotional/psycological power to it for those use it. i'm one of those bottoms who gets awkwardly turned on when a Top refers to my hole as a "pussy," or might use other words traditionally associated with women. It's an emotional response i cannot explain. i have absolutely zero desire to be a woman. i don't fully get why it has such power and emotional impact with me, so i can get that "daddy" might have a similar effect with others.

i love how this question keeps surfacing and i love the OP for using the word "sodomized." It makes my hole gap and twitch every time i read it.

"fucking" For me what i enjoy most about sex is the Tops drive, need, desire to penetrate me, open me and leave something of Himself in me or as part of me, whether it's the gap He leaves, His cum, piss, or psychological breed of my mind where He looks at me and knows He owns a piece of me.

Guys without profiles make me crazy. That and: "if you want to know me, ask me." No picture, no profile? What is attracting me to this person to want to "know" that i would ask questions? i guess a dream site for these guys would be thousands of guys with no picture and no profile? Kind of like a dark room with none of the advantages?

i'm a fairly semi passive bottom, a big part of fucking for me is giving the Top control. If i am presenting to a Top, which is usually the case for me with anonymous walk in, i am usually lying on my stomach ass up on my bed. That position feels most sub, available, to me. But i'm pliable, i'll move into whatever position a Top wants me in and i try to be sensitive to Him. I'm not an inert lump though. I can't be. i am a responder though. A Top is going to make me moan, grab my mattress, bite my mattress. Part of my body is going to writhe some times, but my pussy is under HIs control. A Top who kisses my neck or ear discovers a bottom that arches my back and ass into Him, but it's a button He can choose to push or not. i ll try squeezing a Tops cock with my inner muscles, if He responds positively, i'll do it more, if He doesn't, i stop. Sometimes i'll push back part of the time, but that is usually a response, not something i initiate. For me, bottoming is about receiving penetration from a Top, not me impaling myself on Him.