tallslenderguy

i'm a critical care nurse and take care of very sick people everyday, so i am sort of professionally conditioned to try and help people get and stay healthy. Having said that, one of the first things a healthcare giver does before providing information is assess for willingness and readiness to learn. It can be tricky, some people just don't know what they don't know, others make fully informed decisions that are contrary to their health. i don't want to violate anyones autonomy, to me, that is one of the most immoral acts one can commit. i'm not going to play along with the fantasy, but then, i'm not one for pretend or role play anyway... real is so much better to me and i am really kinky lol. But honestly, i wouldn't play along with the fantasy of infecting someone with a potentially deadly virus because is would violate something in me to do so. i don't want to make anyone sick or harm them. i love Men and that goes against my notion of love.

Probably 90% of the sex i have had with guys (1000's) has been anonymous walk in. i'm always face down, but have only been blind folded about 10% of the time. Like Eros, i like to keep my senses as open as i can for safety reasons. i keep my cell phone in reach, but hidden, anything of value is hidden and the space between where i am presenting and the door is a straight line with no distractions. An idea for more complete sensory deprivation is to do it as a bath house, which would pretty much be a safe place. i've seen guys with hoods or blindfolds in the sling, or you could get a room and do the same, with head phones too.

Fun question. i describe myself as a bottom with a sub streak, and this question figures into it. While i can reconcile a sub top (or a dom bottom) intellectually, i cannot do so emotionally. i have imagined myself being Dommed into fucking and breeding a particularly smooth, twinkish type ass, but it's hard for me to imagine that person actually being "Dom" more like they were having me fuck a bottom like Eroswired describes. And that would be a challenge, the Dom would have to really know me in order to get me hard to do so because the only things that get me hard are associated with me bottoming, etc. i too and one of those who cannot emotionally associate top with sub. Hell, it violates something in me for a Top to take most kinds of interest in my penis. i have had a few Dom guys who got me hard by denigrating my penis in just the right way, calling it a "clit" or little or useless, affectionately laughing at it or making a clear distincntion between the breeding cock they have and what i have. It's just pretty impossible for me to put top and sub together as one.

To the original question: "Born too fuck." i think this is pretty much true about everyone, the sex drive is a natural appetite. To me it's sort of similar to saying i was "born to eat." Some guys manage to make a career out of fuckng, but most of us retain amateur status. Frequency of exercising our lust doesn't confer pro status, though practice can improve performance lol.

i'm following this thread and have noticed the same thing. True dark rooms seem rare. We have a BH in Portland OR called "Hawks" that claims to have a "dark room," but it is little more than a darkish walk in closet. my guess is businesses might avoid them for their potential for accidents and injury? i imagine, on the other hand, that a true dark room would draw a lot of guys. Having a "dark room" in the description on their web site was the whole reason i even went to Hawks, it's what drew me in. They also have what they call "lights out" night, but again, it's not dark, just dimmer.

Funny how things evolve. The internet and hook up aps have definitely altered how we have sex. Even online shopping/Amazon have caused a decline in department stores and mall restrooms where gay sex used to be a common thing. Restroom understaff or through GH was also quentessential 'closet' sex. The stalls in a restroom are not all that different from the stalls in an ABS. As noted earlier, i had a lot of restroom sex. i lived in Norfolk VA and it had a huge military presence. There was a mall called "Military Circle" and it had a large, long and narrow restroom. It was kind of like an airport restroom, with no doors, just a passageway leading in and out. When you came in, there was a guy doing shoe shines at the opening, he knew what was going on and sometimes would walk up and down the stalls sort of policing them. There were half a dozen urinals to the right when you came in, then about a dozen stalls beyond the urinals (also on the right) with sinks right across from them. A guy could stand at the sink and look into the mirror and see a guy in the stall behind him through the gaps between the stalls and doors. Most of the sex happened at the far end under the stall. It was always busy and noisy and guys would fuck or suck understall even with other guys just using the restroom present. Lots of guys were clueless that while they were using the restroom, the guy in the stall right next to them was getting fucked or sucking under the stall. i met one guy there who became a regular FB, we were both there frequently and he'd just present understall with spit on His cock, and i'd sit on it and He'd breed me. One day, unbeknownst to me, He followed me in His car back to my office building, not to far from the mall. He left a note on my car letting me know He now knew where i worked. my office looked out over the parking lot, floor to ceiling glass, so i could easily see anytime He drove into the parking lot. He actually came into my office on the second floor once and told my secretary He had an appointment. i brought Him into my office, scared He was going to out me and He could see the view from my office to the parking lot. He told me that whenever He parked there, He wanted me to meet Him in the downstairs restroom, It was a quiet but small two stall restroom and He fucked me frequently under the stall from then on. There was never really conversation, we just both knew.

How sad. i'm glad you are back ❤️

Slapping seems like one of those things where the Top really has to know HIs bottom before doing it? i am sub bottom, but not a physical masochist. Spanking is probably the exception, though even with that, my Top needs to know or read me well enough to open me to a place of wanting to submit to Him doing it. A Top at a sauna pinched my tit hard once and found Himself quite suddenly in a disadvantaged position. i'm a martial artist and just reacted without thought. i didn't hurt Him, but surprised the hell out of Him lol. i don't think being a bottom (or sub) automatically confers carte blanche on the Top/Dom. I've had Tops do things, like piss in me, that they didn't ask permission to do... but they read me well enough to know i'd adore them for it. It's tricky, i think there has to be a good connection that is obvious to both parties for such risks to be taken without prior discussion. So where are you at with this now? How do you imagine responding if this happened again? It's a sort of mystery how a Dom can train a bottom using the bottoms nature to accept things he might not normally do or want. It's a risk for the Top too, unless He is mindless about such. You have a "ongoing connection," so it seems to me it wasn't just a presumptuous act, but a calculated risk. Did you tell Him how it made you feel? Have your feelings changed as you have thought about it?

i'm pretty sure a bottom from Jacksonville FL asked a very similar question recently? At first i thought: "hmm, yeah maybe there's just a preponderance of bottoms in Jacksonville." But then i checked out the population, and it's 1.5 million. Plus, there's several military bases, so i am going to place my vote against method (i.e., online hook up sites). i'd bet there are lots of horny guys who wanna unload in a bottom. i'm not convinced that even half the guys online are actually looking for a hook up, but go to an ABS or cruising place and more, if not most, guys are looking. i went online to Squirt and was surprised to see lots of cruisy restrooms and parks, but no ABS? When i really need to get bred, i go to the local ABS on a weekday during lunch or when guys are getting off work, and i consistently will get 4 or 5 cocks in short order. And i'm in a small university town, only about 80k population. Of course, i'll take even the homeless guys load when i'm in heat... i love any guy who needs or wants it. Ditto. Honestly, fuck buddies are my favorite. i love the dynamic, you get to know each other and it makes hook up so much simpler. i've come to really love a lot of fuck buddies, and i also appreciate that there isn't the complications of living with a guy. One of my biggest fantasies is being there for a Top whenever He needs or wants a bottom. To me, the only challenge is spontaneity. needing notice for prep. But i wish for a fb relationship where i always leave my door open for Him and if He just shows up, maybe i'm working in the kitchen, He can just come up behind me, slide my shorts down and slide in and breed, no words necessary. Or even in the middle of the night, i think it would be so hot too have the kind of relationship where He'd be free to get into bed with me sleeping and just slide in and breed or piss.

Interesting question, and some fun answers. Part of me would love to project the image of a more horny guy as i age, but i'd be lying, same with my penis and testicles getting "bigger." i don't think i'm any less horny, but my horniness has become more, idk, refined? That's not quite descriptive, my horniness has become more dependent is probably more accurate. When i was younger, i went looking for it a lot more, now i am much more of a responder. It doesn't take much to get me to 'respond,' just the sight of a hot man ass will elicit desire. A Top expressing His own needs and desires to breed, well, He can pretty much own me. my horniness just don't seem as self contained as it was when i was younger, it's a lot more of a response... even though it seems to always hover at the surface. As to my penis and testicles getting bigger? i'm a little embarrassed to admit mine seem to have shrunk a little. i've wondered it that's from disuse since i've been a bottom for several years now, especially since divorcing. For awhile i wondered if i had ED, but turns out i don't, i just don't get erect at the notion of using my penis. But a Top or some Dom's who find my buttons can make me instantly hard by wanting to own my hole, especially creative types who really want ownership of a bottoms physical and emotional hole, those things all get me hard, but don't increase my size.

That's a hard one for me to quantify with the survey answers. The thing that gets me is the Tops need and desire to put Himself inside of me, so it sort of depends on what gets Him off, putting His cock in me or His cum? i get the impression most Tops like both and i pretty naturally respond to my Top, so if i sense His pleasure in fucking me, i really get into it... and i always love HIs orgasm, that seems the ultimate expression of desire and pleasure to me.

i love You for this. i don't know why, butt i do.

Wanting "pig sex" and "cheating" are two different things. i don't think there's anything wrong with wanting "pig sex." i cannot find a positive connotation for "cheating." i have to question the quality of any relationship where one has to cheat/lie to maintain it. To me, one of the primary differences of an intimate relationship is having a person in your life is is open and honest with you and who you can be open and honest with... that is the relationship, two people who love each other for who they are. If you have to hide who you are, where's the relationship?

Someone else mentioned this: Regarding nudging up against someone or casually brushing his crotch as you pass... that is too aggressive for me. I'm a bottom and that is not natural for me... Guys tend to touch me wherever, when they want to. "Aggressive" isn't natural for most bottoms i think, but desire and need as a bottom are natural. When i say "brush His crotch" it has to look totally innocent. like in a very crowded room letting His crotch touch my ass by accidentally backing my pussy into His cock. It's not a grope, it's an offering. Or accidentally, and with fear/being scared trying to make body contact... it's different than the aggressive Alpha who feels and exercises the right to touch or grab, it's more a way of offering oneself if He wants.

Interesting topic, pretty clear it's not banned words but context that is being managed. like it or not, we live in a society of laws and communities like this can be shut down pretty fast. Look what happened to CL. The truth is, there are plenty of people out there who believe "God hates Fags," who would imprison and punish us in a heartbeat for just being gay, given the power. i appreciate the thought and energy RawTop has put into creating and preserving this community.

Darth Vader?

i will sort of answer your question with a question: how do you substantiate your "trust?" Our feelings and notions of trust are often just that, "feelings" and "notions." Without having actual test evidence in front of us, one doesn't really know if their partner is neg or undetectable. We are really just taking peoples word for it and trusting our own perceptions (and i gotta wonder just how objective two horny guys feelings are lol). The most trustworthy position to be in if you want to be bred and are trying to stay neg is to get on PrEP. That's actually backed by study evidence, and you can pretty much know for certain whether or not you have taken the med.

No, i do not mean to imply your usage of those words is "inaccurate or overblown," i am sorry if i came across that way. From things you have written, it is my impression that your training and conditioning were of the sort i describe further down, "forceful and coercive." Types of Dom;'s and methods i do not consider "right or wrong," but people and ways i would have personally fled from had that been my situation. No, i've stated before and i still believe that the things you relate are real and well articulated. I like and appreciate your "dense" sentences ❤️ Regarding affectionate grooming, i don't think i am communicating what i mean by that, maybe because you just don't relate or perhaps haven't experienced what i refer to, or maybe you just aren't the kind of person that responds to that kind of manipulation (for lack of a better word). "Grooming" is the best i can come up with. Yes, i do respond better to affection and did and do grant that some people respond to and even want negative reinforcement. I felt i tried to say that evenly. Yes, i think one bottom can provide training to another, will that result in universal preparation for all "actual experience?" i don't think so. That question makes me wonder if the type of training you have received prepares you for accommodating the affectionate type of Dom i describe? That's a real question, not a challenge. Just as you can claim real and lasting change from your experiences with particular Dom's/Masters you have been with, i too believe i have been changed, lasting deep change, by my experience with certain affectionate Dom/s.

i love it when someone wakes up a thread that's a few years old and i re-read some of what i have written a few years ago and see how i have or have not changed. i wrote the above response 2.5 years ago and would modify it somewhat now. i still am not "fem" or a "sissy," but it's definitely a hot button in me when a Top or Dom naturally treats me that way. i don't pretend to (completely) understand it, but when a Guy casually or matter of factly treats me as fem or sissy, or does something to demonstrate He sees me that way, like shave me or have me dress in panties, call my parts "pussy," etc., it drives me wild and puts me in heat. And to me, that is very different than me just doing that on my own. No one even knows i am gay unless i tell them, so i am apparently not stereotypical gay, let alone "faggot," i laugh and tell myself, "maybe i'm too much of a faggot to be one on my own, that i need a Man to bring it out in me, and i'm not man enough to do that." But that is only half jest, i think there is something real to that. The thing i still don't relate too or buy into is the meanness that some get into. "Mean" isn't quite the word i am searching for, but more the notion of inferior. i don't consider faggots, sissy's etc., to be inferior. The idea of being Topped by a all Top she-male is a definite fantasy. i don't hate women or the qualities that are typically associated with them, but i see and feel a difference. When i first divorced (from a marriage to a woman), i thought i might be bi, so i dated a few women and a trans person (FtM). The women were a no go, they wanted sex, i didn't. The trans person was also a no-go. Even though i completely accepted their identity, there was something "female" (beyond the physical) that kept me from any kind of turn on sexually, even though that person would have topped me. On the other hand, i have no problem seeing a she-male Top as a "man', or at least possessing something (again beyond the physical) that i want and need.

Idk. You were "trained," so perhaps that's why it's a part of your expectation and perspective to think in terms of a bottom needing some sort of formal training? Personally, i think you're a sweet babe with a natural bottom/sub makeup. You experienced "several dominant Tops including a former Master/Owner who "conditioned" you with their ideas and expectations of who and what a bottom should be. i think you'd be a bottom/sub regardless of their training, not because of it. i think we are all shaped by our experiences, Top or bottom, Dom or sub. i get that there are D/s people who believe and follow a code that the Dom dictates and the sub submits, building from a foundation that the Dom is superior, stronger and the sub inferior, weaker. Those are not the only people who identify as D/s though. There are others who don't believe D/s has anything to do with the one being superiori, stronger and the other inferior, weaker. i submit (of course i do lol) that the skills we acquire as Tops or bottoms have more to do with our openness to learn than from being forced to become. Which is not to say that we cannot be conditioned or groomed, but for me affectionate grooming is a lot more powerful and motivating and exploitive of my nature than forceful conditioning is. To me, forceful conditioning breaks resistance (intentionally) while affectionate grooming nurtures submission (intentionally). i've obeyed and submitted to forceful Doms, but i've been possessed by and adored affectionate nurturing Doms. And again, i get that there are both types. i'm not suggesting that one is right and the other wrong, but that there are different D/s dispositions and approaches. With that idea, i think a bottom/sub can learn from a Top or bottom, Dom or sub and a Top/Dom can learn from a Top or bottom, Dom or sub. i think each brings something unique to the table, that there isn't a one size fits all category, though there are basic similarities? We can understand our opposites, but may not be able to relate to them if that is not the way we are. i think it's important to listen and look at everyone, to see and hear all. i think it's a mistake to say we can only learn from one or the other, because in so doing we leave out half the perspective.

It's hard, probably impossible, to quantify a "norm" for STI's, there's just so many variables. i think part of our "norm" should be to get tested regularly for STI's if we are sexually active. As stated elsewhere, i believe the stigma attached to sex, and even more to gay sex, is what drives the high numbers and increase in STI's, not having sex. Think of how much lower the incidence of the common cold or flu could be if everyone wore masks? Kind of the facial equivalent of a condom and we could coin a term: 'Safe (safer) Breathing,' But that's not going to happen, at least wide spread, because no-one stigmatizes or shames people for breathing. We get vaccines but are shamed about getting PrEP, yet PrEP is one of the most effective preventatives we have!!! Fuck, in the best years the flu vaccine is only about 80% efficacious and lately more commonly that number is around 20%, yet we still do it because 20% of millions of people is still a significant number, even though it's hard to argue on an individual basis. But PrEP? Comparatively, it's a miracle, pretty much 100% efficacious in preventing HIV contraction. If we want to create a new "norm" in frequency of contracting other STI's, i say we take a "fuck you" attitude to the heteronormative , Victorian culture that has shamed people about sex. i'd love to see gays be the leaders in intelligence because we get that sex is a basic human need and that shaming people about it just increases STI's. i guarantee if the gay community got it, and got on board and we all got tested quarterly, the gay community would have the lowest incidence of STI's eventually. Not because we are abstaining from 'breathing' or wearing a 'mask,' but because we are using the wonderful science that's available to treat and reduce the incidence of disease, and thus reduce the spread.

i still get hard, all the time. But it's mental/psychological stimulation that gets me hard. Any talk or thought of me using my penis, and it stays soft and unresponsive, thoughts or talk of me getting bred or Topped in some way, and it gets hard. Though i don't identify as "fem," to me my penis is more like a clit because it seems to respond like one. Just like a woman clit gets engorged when she is sexually excited, my penis gets engorged... and wet too lol. Seriously. If a Top is talking to me about His need or desire to breed or penetrate me, even if i don't get engorged, i start dripping and am get wet. i love a mans ass. To me, it's the most beautiful part of the male anatomy. Even as a total bottom, a guys ass turns me on like crazy, but not the idea of penetrating it, it's just a powerful stimulator for me. if i ever try to consider fucking a guys ass though, it's like my penis rebels and goes soft, like i really couldn't even if i wanted to. It's kind of mysterious to me, but it all seems to be part of my psychological make up, it's not physiological.

It's hard to fathom such ignorance in the age of Google. It's Grindr!! (i.e., it's a sex hook-up ap). It's bizarre the number of people who still don't understand that pretty much no one on a hook up site should be considered 'safe' as regards HIV unless they are on PrEP or poz undectable. Those are really tho only evidence based "safe" guys. It cracks me up when i read someone has tested negative a year ago, or even a month ago, as though that makes them free and clear of HIV. Even if they've had no sex for a year, did they get a follow up test to confirm being neg? There are just so many more variables to having sex and remaining neg if ART isn't figured into the equation. If anyone should "feel bad" it's the guys who don't truly know their status who are depending on everyone else to protect them from HIV instead of educating their self and using the proven protection that exists (PrEP). It's immature, ignorant, and sort of idiotic to think others are responsible for your health when youre having sex with random strangers on hook up sites.

Right? To me, a Top and bottom male are two sides of the same coin. We are both testosterone filled and driven, just from opposite directions. i'm as driven to have my Tops cock and seed (and piss and....) as He is driven to penetrate and deposits Himself. There's differences of course. i love the Top who knows how to manipulate and control (in a good way) a bottoms need for Him. For me the biggest key and advantage to ongoing relationship (whatever form, not talking monogamy necessarily) is Him controlling a bottoms lust for Him or Tops by finding ways to keep His bottom from cumming by using his penis. i'm a bottomless slut when i haven't cum for awhile and a Top is edging me psychologically (and sometimes physically) without letting me cum. i think it is an underused energy for lack of understanding.

i got my definition from the urban dictionary, but that makes sense too.