LetsPOZBreed

Adam4Adam isn't really popular in Europe, so I haven't actively used it since leaving the US 7 years ago. The underlying issue being addressed by the OP isn't just limited to that one stie, however, as I have personally experienced the same thing on multiple dating/hookup apps as well. I'm of the opinion of being initially polite and respectful...simply stating that I'm not interedted in whatever proposition that is going against my stated interests. (hosting, topping, or especially any kind of drug use). Where I do get a bit miffed, though, are with the guys who are unreasnably persistent or repeat offenders. I find it's easier to just block them and move on, rather than dwell and have a pointless argument with someone I really have no interest in getting to know.

Assuming they're telling the truth about their preferences, yes, there is a difference. One of my ex's called himself a vers top - which was accurate. In the year we were together, I only topped him a few times; I got fucked quite often, on the other hand. I'd say a (true) vers bottom or vers top is a guy who's only interested in changing positions once in a blue moon; do it only when the mood strikes.

I'm up for joining either group as well. DM me for my number if there's still space 🙂

I'm in. LDNVersBttm79 on KIK

Douching is imperative. I even go a bit further and not eat for some time ahead of a party, just to make sure that there are no lingering surprises. If I'm at a sauna/sex club, I do like to feel a cock and suck it before letting the guy fuck me. If something looks or feels off at this stage, I walk away. Not foolproof, but has meant that I've not been hit by the STI bug nearly as often as others on here.

Not necessarily. I find if guys know they are being filmed that they "play to the camera" a bit too much, and it loses it's "realness". Has nothing to do with cost for me - if a scene is truly good enough to pay for, I'll happily do it.

Fickstutenmarkt is on my bucket list since turning 40, but haven't had the opportunity yet (thanks, Covid). Certainly for any other bottoms out there who have gone before, I'd love some tips and advice! Especially when it comes to which city(ies) are the better ones to go to.

Yeah, sex clubs and saunas are great, but not everyone has easy access to those. What bothers me about xtube/pornhub these days is the sheer amount of "professional" porn available. When I first joined xtube over 10 years ago (yes, I know...) it was overwhelmingly amateur and easy to find hot vids of guys having real sex. Nowdays, most regular amateur posters will charge, and the proper studios have got hot to the fact that they can advertise and sell individual scenes via these outlets. It's rare to find a good free vid of real amateur sex these days.

There's a variety of guys out there, so no one answer. Personally, I've encountered a few of each. In some cases, I know guys who don't really like the concept of "sloppy" holes (whether it be seconds, thirds, or so forth). If I'm feeling particularly slutty one day, I'll try and find one of these guys to be first. From there, I'll head to a sauna or cruise club where I find it's easier to get more loads once you have one in you already.

Hard for me to say. I lost my virginity at 18, but in hindsight there were possibilities prior to that. Thinking back on it, my first real shot would have been at 14 with a slightly younger friend of mine. That being said, I think we were both too young. I live in the UK now (originally from the US) where the legal age is 16. I'd say that's prob okay; I don't think it should be anything younger than that.

I've said it quite recently to someone, but I have better sex now in my 40's than I did in my 20's. Also to echo previous posts, there are definitely guys (of all ages!) out there who will be into guys your age and body type. Just recognise that you aren't everyone's flavour, and similarly to keep an open mind on the different varieties of men out there.

Was chatting with a guy on one of the apps the other day, and I found it interesting that both of us experienced a sort of sexual re-awakening around the age of 40. For me, this is getting more interested in things such as tantra, as well as getting more into the BDSM/fetish community. Question to the wider audience: Has you also had a similar sexual re-awakening? What things are you suddenly interested in that you hadn't given a second thought before? Similarly, are there any sexual acts and preferences you had when you were younger that you'd rather forego these days?

@find91 nailed this right on the head. It's very easy for those not truly initiated into the BDSM community to assume that things work a certain way. The whole concept of being a "submissive" is being misinterpreted to mean having zero control. That shouldn't be the case at all. The whole concept is a shared understanding of the D/s relationship from both sides. A sub will give control under agreed limitations and boundaries, and a Dom respects those boundaries. Those limits may be pushed, but there should always be an "out" (safe word, safe signal) so things don't cross a line. I was told at the beginning of my BDSM journey that any Dom not willing to negotiate limits is not a real Dom at all; same goes for subs. One of the first things that should be negotiated is the ability (or lack thereof) to play outside of the D/s relationship, and what terms apply if there is an allowance. Whether this requiring the Dom's presence, the Dom's approval, or otherwise, this has to be laid out at the beginning. If a sub is not willing to share his dom (not necessarily for territorial reasons) this has to be laid out from the get go. If the Dom doesn't want to accept that, then the D/s relationship should just end right there. Similarly, if a Dom wants his sub for himself, while still being allowed to play outside, this has to be discussed and agreed at the outset. If one decides to partake in the BDSM and fetish community in any way, one of the first things you must learn is to know how to communicate boundaries. A true Dom looks out for the safety and wellbeing of his sub. A true sub will submit under honest terms. Neither of these things can happen without a conversation and mutual agreement.

Like many questions one can ask about cum, the answer is always: it depends. Speaking for my own loads, it can vary depending on how long it's been since I've last shot off and also just how turned on I am. I find if I edge a bit, I can cum pretty significant amounts with average milky-white consistency. If I cum too often in a day, each load gets more and more watery.

It's extremely rare to not be able to tell. Guys are different in ways which they let me know they're about to breed me. There's the obvious "I'm gonna cum", which gives me the anticipation of it all, but those aren't my favourite. I like to pay attention to the subtle cues. My preferred bottoming position is on my back facing my top, looking directly into each other's eyes as he is deep inside me. There's a gentle balance during a fuck of a top's pace(s), breathing, and facial expressions. In a sexual plateau phase, where they are hard but not close, all of these act in a concerted rhythm. If his pace increases, and his breathing and sounds increase in tandem...he's not close, just providing a bit of variety. One tell-tale sign is the moment of an open-mouth, mid-level sigh of "Ahh...." This is accompanied by a slight glossing of the eyes and a jaunted change of pace. Sometimes a guy might want to edge, so he'll abruptly stop for a few seconds and start again at slow pace. From here, the concerted rhythm of thrusts, grunts, and body movements goes out of sync. The eyes may squint a little, he may hold back a grunt or two, his hands may grip me tighter. From here, it's a race to the finish line. I respect my tops to not start begging for his cum, as I find it could put my top under pressure - I'll only verbalise if directed by my top. My goal at that point is to make sure I remain opened up and find a way to make my hole more inviting...a subtle way of letting my top know that I'm ready for his seed. It usually does the trick...a few hard strokes, a further stiffening of his cock, and next thing I know I can feel the gooey wetness of being pumped full of jizz. The power shooters are the best, as you can feel the actual squirts, though. I think something in my body chemistry changes when I can tell that there's fresh jizz being deposited inside me. I once had a guy tell me that he could see my face light up when I could tell he was close. Again, another sign that it's more about the connection, rather than an insistence on verbalising it.

I'm hoping things worked out for him, if he's gone through with having an honest discussion with his partner. Bottling sexual urges for that long isn't easy. I was once in a 2 year relationship where it was a similar situation of not being sexually satisfied. Once we had that discussion, I framed it as just trying to push the envelope with sex between the two of us. The thought was that if he wasn't very open in trying things sexually one-on-one, opening the relationship would be completely out of the question.

Reminding me of the comment I posted on another thread (started by you as well), I find this whole set up very one-sided. I also find it, quite frankly, totally unhealthy - both mentally and physically. At a MINIMUM, tell your top daddy about this. The only way you'll know for sure if he approvest is to flat out lay it out there. If he says that he's not into sharing you with other breeders, you'll have your answer. Alternately, if he says that it's fine by him - even if the stipulation is that he watches or is otherwise present while it happens - that's your answer. Once again, this just seems non-confrontational rather than submission. The whole disallowing your use of PrEP is another topic entirely. End of the day, you need to be responsible for your own health and wellbeing, and that is your decision and only your decision to make. If you're not "allowed" to look after your own wellbeing, then this isn't submission - it's flat out controlling and abusive.

I'll echo @BootmanLA here. It's not submission in this case. If you didn't think this is a problem, you wouldn't be posing the question here. Couple of thoughts from me: If this isn't really a problem, then you should have enough of a dialogue with your master for him to know that you're actually okay with him coming over with a freshly fucked dick. If you're actually turned on by this practice, I would think your master would be absolutely aching to tell you about him just having fucked another bottom right before you. There is a clear distinction between true submission and being outright used. Being a true submissive to your master requires an open dialogue at the beginning over limits, both yours and his. None of us is truly ever "no limits", but the best D/s relationships have a clear understanding of just how far each other can go with one another. By not being honest about his fucking a sub before you, it takes away your ability to give informed consent to being put into that situation. The best Dom/sub (or Master/slave) relationships are built on the foundation of mutual respect. Your willingness to be a submissive should not override your ability to know your limits and insist on them. The best Doms and Masters know this, and are much more open to having this dialogue than one might suspect. I know this sounds easier said than done, but I'm speaking as a voice of experience. The fact that he's your first makes this a difficult thought process, and I fully recognise that. You just need to also fully recognise and grow into your own sexual being. If that's being a total sub, it's knowing how to do that on your terms - which I know sounds counterintuitive. Hopefully you can find the best way forward and everything works out, but you can't stay in a situation that makes you unhappy.

I'd be interested in this too. The constantly changing restrictions has forced me to be more creative, and I think an F machine is my only real option until we can get back to the free-for-alls that I used to partake in.

Are we speaking specifically in the context of sex parties/bathhouses/etc.? I think the principle is the same. Many tops actually do not like bottoms that use them just for a quick load. They want us to enjoy their cock. I'll agree with earlier posts. What I find works best for me is to let my top be in the driver seat. It's about being responsive to his sounds and movements; bit of a call-and-response type of scenario. I'll try and have my moans occur right after his and match his intensity - not in a mimicking fashion, but just a way to demonstrate that we are in sync with one another. Looking him directly in the eyes is also a big plus. If he starts to move faster and harder, I make sure I open myself up for him more. I won't beg for his load; only after I get an idea that he's close will I react in a way (even if non-verbal) that he can let loose on me and that I'll accept his wad. Once his cock has finished cumming, I don't push him out. I'll let him take his time catching his breath, come in for a deep kiss, and welcome a warm embrace. I enjoy the post-coital connection just as much as the act itself.

I have two feelings about this screenshot; bear with me, I'm in agreement with the OP that it's not the best ad out there. On the one hand, there's nothing wrong with the guy openly discussion his regular STI checks, nor is it a bad idea to be interested in other guys who get regular tests. We all accept that STI's are part of the territory of barebacking, but there's still some level of being responsible with one's health. While his method isn't foolproof, it's not totally unreasonable. Where I do take issue is the manner in which he's going about this. I do think this guy is under the impression that his "demands" are a be-all, end-all solution. Even on a recent test, this guy has no assurances of his target having contracted something from someone in the intervening time period (even if the negative test was a few days ago). It's possible he's looking for some side piece(s) from his partner, but I've encountered single guys who are similarly skittish about catching anything. I think the guy in the screenshot prob gets more action than we're giving him credit for. The fact that his profile is worded the way it is means he's managed to luck out to this point. I'd be curious to see what changes if his fail-safe method actually fails and he contracts something - even if it's something treatable.

I know I'm late to this thread, but I'll speak from personal experience. I've been on both sides of this. As a young 18-20s guy, I loved sex with older men. It tended to be better overall due to their being more experienced. There were obvious exceptions, of course; though, I think the guys where I had the best time were guys who were sexually self-aware. For them, it was less the fact that I was a young twink and more about the fact that I enjoyed connection without regard to age difference. This is a fact that I'm now experiencing on the opposite end, now that I'm in my 40s. I still enjoy sex with men my age and older, but I'm also appreciating sharing my experience with a younger guy. To be fair, this is not about top/bottom. I can be either (or both) with any age group. The trick is to find a guy in which both of you are genuinely interested in one another.

Short answer: ALL... THE... TIME...!!! I find it mostly with so-called "vers tops" as someone commented above. In that situation, I do expect a vers-top to "occasionally" want to get fucked, but when they are clearly far too cock hungry for mine (I clearly state that I'm vers-bottom), I get suspicious. The way this transpires with me is that he will slyly mention the fact that he occasionally enjoys taking cock, but it soon turns into the only thing he wants from me. If this is the situation, I walk away. When I want to put my vers side to work, I mention it up front so there's no question.

My personal observation? Society hasn't changed; the methods have. (I'm talking pre-COVID, of course) I find that it's still possible to find the quality of sex that I enjoy, but I have to expand my search to get there. First, I live in a large city, so I did have the benefits of options other than apps, such as the saunas and cruise spots. Perfect 10 culture has always been around in some form. What's different, and what shakes out in the process, is the apparent accesibility of the "next hottest thing" for guys searching for this alleged perfection. On an app, which you can have open 24/7/365, that thing could theoretically pop up at any time. This is why it's not uncommon to see guys cruising the apps for hours on end, and occasionally coming back to a preivous interest from hours earlier when that next-big-thing doesn't show up. It's on these forums that the side effects of Perfect 10 culture are the most pervasive. In a situation where people are gathered in person, such as at a bar/club/sauna/etc. you have this idea that the next hottest thing might only show up before a certain time. As you approach this closing time, a guy searching for perfection can only choose what's available right in front of them. Us former drinkers refer to this as putting one putting on the "beer goggles", where his standards slowly decrease as the witching hour approaches. Nowdays, you can always theorectically go onto the apps when you're back home, but that's only a recent luxury.

Looking each other directly in the eyes while kissing. A small nibble on the ear lobes.