LetsPOZBreed

I'm more turned on by a guy who remains true to his own preferences; whether he is total top, total bottom, or on some spectrum of versatility. I'm bothered by guys who state their preferences on their profile as total top or bottom, then try and chat me up and propose the opposite. I've started referring to my positional preference as "adaptable". Broadly speaking: I enjoy being on top; I enjoy being on bottom; I enjoy flipping. I've been with total tops and had absolutely zero interested in plowing them. Similarly, I've had total bottoms where I have zero interest in having them try and fuck me. It's all about a connection and vibe, and having an honest conversation about what a guy truly enjoys.

Getting back around to this, as I've been meaning to post. Yes, I have. Don't mean to bring the room down, but hopefully my story can give some insight. I was 23, and had been living on my own for about a year. I had recently gotten out of a relationship that left me heartbroken, so I decided to do what I usually did when I was feeling down...went down to the local gay bar to drown myself drunk. I was a semi-regular at this place, and this was also a small-ish university city, so I recognised many of the guys there. There was a small group of guys (friends) around that night, spearheaded by a hot cowboy couple, along with a few others. One of their friends that I hadn't really seen before was giving me the eye, and I honestly didn't mind. He wasn't that bad looking, but I wasn't really up for anything that night due to my mood. He approached anyway, and we got to talking. Nice enough guy and I was being polite, but eventually I came around and started to actually have a good time. Ended up dancing together for a while that evening, and things started leading a certain way. I wasn't expecting to take anyone home with me; if anything were to happen, I would have wanted to top or leave it at oral...looking back, I should have stated that. Oh, one mroe important thing to mention here. Prior to this, I had only been barebacked once. I was very much a stickler for condom usage and even balked at guys who suggested going raw. End of the night, we were having enough of a good time where I did, indeed, invite the guy to my place to cap the night off. Got inside and started making out on the sofa. It started out like a typical hot encounter...kissing, sucking, the whole thing. Then he gets on top and attempts to insert himself into me raw. I wasn't a barebacker then, and wasn't really prepared (mentally or physically) to get fucked that night. I tried steering the action away from that to either flipping him or just letting me orally finish him. He wasn't having it. He pushed me back down and tried again, this time pushing enough to where he did manage to penetrate me. This is when I started to try and fight him off. The more I struggled, the more aggressive he got. Finally, he put his elbows on the top of my chest, pinning me down. I still tried everything I could to make it stop, but nothing was working. Finally, I came to the conclusion that the only way this was going to end was to let him finish what he was doing. When I bottom, I moan. This time, I was full on crying...tears and everything. He repeatedly jammed inside me, but thankfully after only a couple of minutes I felt him cum. Couldn't have been more than about 2 or 3 minutes after pinning me down, but it felt like an eternity. After his balls were drained, he collapsed on top of me, and all I could do was just lay there in shock and disbelief of what just happened. One of those moments where in a roundabout way, I was in denial that I was just fucked bareback against my will. He got dressed and left, and I just remember not being able to sleep at all that evening and just bawling my eyes out. This event. This singular event, changed me as a person. I've always been relatively introverted, but I pretty much retreated into myself. I felt I couldn't go out to the local gay bar anymore for fear of running into him, or seeing that group of guys he was hanging around with. I completely lost my sex drive altogether, and it was months before it came back in even a marginal way. I actually became a total top for a while, as even the hint of bottoming triggered a reaction. Also, because I didn't really know this guy very well and had clearly been seeded by him, I became paranoid about getting pozzed. I did get tested (quite a few times) after that, and all came back negative, but there was always this fear in the back of my mind. I could bring myself to talk about it - not even to my closest friends. I just put the whole situation on block as much as I could. It would be a few years before I let a guy fuck me again. I became suspicious of large groups of men, and this led me to retreat from places where that was common. I wasn't going to gay clubs; I wasn't attending pride parades; none of that. I grew up feeling that I could potentially be attacked by some homophobic redneck from my part of the US; instead, it turned out that the most heinous act done to me happened at the hands of someone in my own community. I couldn't trust gay men any longer. By then, I went from being an occasional alcoholic to a heavy drinker. I had no self-confidence. When I did get back into bottoming, I turned into a barebacker. Not because I specifically enjoyed it, but instead lived with a fear that a guy on top of me is just going to take what he wants, however he wants it. I was a barebacker because I felt worthless. Eventually, my lack of confidence led me to darker and darker places over the years, culminating in a period of drug use that would be what led to my conversion. The drug use stopped at that point, but the alcoholism coninued on. A little over 4 years ago, I finally decided to completely sober up - and part of that process of addressing the underlying issues of my drinking was confronting that horrible evening 15 years ago. I'm in a much better place now. I no longer think of the "what ifs" and instead live my life for the blessing it is, but there is a part of me that was changed forever.

It's a different set of guys now that I'm older. I prob get about the same, really. I also try and stay reasonably fit too, so that has an effect on it. The big difference for me these days is the quality of the play as opposed to the quantity. I have better sex in my 40s than I ever did in my 20s. I have much more of an open mind, and there's always a plus to being more experienced.

While I appreciate your comments @slampigcumdumpLA, I have to agree with my poz brothers above in that my feeling is not having a "hissy fit". I get your point that all other things being equal, there are medical differences, but that is far oversimplifying things. You're neglecting two important points by laying out a hypothetical: (1) You're leaving out the mental aspect of dealing with a positive status, and (2) No two humans are created equal - medically and mentally. I've been hit up by poz chasers on the apps ever since I disclosed my status on my profile. I still have no interest in meeting them to "poz them" (my screen-name aside). If anything, I try and have a talk with them about why they are chasing and so forth - many will not engage, but the odd few will; you'd be surprised at some people's stories whether you agree with them or not. Whatever I may feel about my own poz status, I certainly don't enjoy the doctor visits, remembering to take my nightly pharmaceutical regimen, or restricting my global travel due to some nations' unenlightened views on transmission (looking at you, Singapore). There's also the whole dating thing, which likely belongs in its own thread.

To each his own, I guess, but I think any moaning is better than no moaning. My biggest erogenous zones are my ears - I like the sounds of sex as much as the sex itself. When I do top (rare as that may be), the more intense their moaning is, the harder I fuck them. If a guy is too quiet or makes no noise at all, I feel like I'm not doing him a good service. In some respects, though, I can get some tops reservations about the types of moans (i.e. too "girly" or whatever) or if they have housemates. There have been times where I've watched porn with a bottom who moans in a really strange way, and it was a bit of a put off until I turned the volume down.

Yeah, I'm not anywhere near the Pheonix area, but the idea intrigues me. I have both interest and concern about the whole process. Part of entering the fetish community in general was my understanding of how to separate fantasy from (potential) reality. Any guy I do fetish play with will not have the exact same idea of what that play entails. This kind of rough play, while hot, is rife with the potential to escalate out of control. It's not something I'd entertain with someone(s) I'm not already familiar with. Do you incorporate safe words or safe signals in your CNC play - and, if so, is that stated in this waiver? As ErosWired implies above, there has to be some type of "out" (for either party) if limits are exceeded past what one is willing to tolerate. As much as I wouldn't want to involve actual legal counsel for something like this, I'd actually lean toward it just for some level of understanding of the potential risks and pitfalls.

We all have our personal preferences, but I'll add mine to the mix. Even on a hookup site, I prefer seeing a pic with a guy's face on it, and preferably some level of clothed. I have to get the sense that a guy is approachable. If a guy's main pic is just his hard cock or a close-up of his hole, I tend to scroll by. As I've grown older, I'm much less obsessed with headless nudes as main pics.

Lots of patience and experience, my dear boy. I didn't get properly gang banged for the first time until my late 30's. It may not take you that long, but your fantasies are getting the best of you. You honestly need more experience - one on one to start with and slowly work yourself up to more. If you're only just losing your virginity, you haven't fully experienced just how varied tops can be. You need to try out different sizes, ages, fucking styles, and so forth in a comfortable setting with no pressure. As @ErosWired correctly states, once your in the moment of being at a gang bang, it's far too late to determine you're in over your head - you're completely at the mercy of the tops who are there, and they won't tolerate having organised a whole group of guys just to have you decide you've had enough after 2 or 3 men.

My profile name aside, you should never feel ashamed of using it for a compliment! 🙂

Definite pic collector there. I would have just left him alone and moved on. Seems like you got yours in the end, though (literally and figuratively)!

If done properly, it feels amazing. Sure, tops come in different lengths, girths, etc. Some things, though, are universal. Going in initially is a bit of a collaborative effort. Definitely should start with some level of lube (even if that lube is spit). From there, a top should push in, and let my ass just relax with it. Jamming it in without any additional consideration will only make me uncomfortable from the get-go, and won't be an enjoyable experience for either of us. Once there is that initial sliding in, a few slow strokes is a good way to get me primed and ready to go; my top's cock starts to feel much more comortable then, and I get the desire to go for more. I'm a big believer in audio/visual cues. Lay me on my face where we're facing each other and pay attention to my moans and facial expressions. You'll know if you're doing it right or not.

In my younger days, yes. I came of gay age back in the mid-90s. The sexual education I had gotten back then (even those geared toward gay men) implied that even one time without a condom would result in my catching HIV. A programme of education that I take issue with, in hindsight. I was trained to believe that any form of "unsafe sex" was very bad, and should be avoided at all costs. Even the pamphlets to read in those days suggested that oral sex should be performed with a condom, because there's a very slim chance of transmission. The first time I did get barebacked, I was very conflicted. One of those situations where the guy slipped in without one (we had never explicitly spoke about it beforehand). It felt great, but after that it took a few more years before I resolved myself to do it again.

I think we need to redefine "feeling good about it" here. Dealing with being poz, for me, was a bit of a process. Do I feel good these days? Yes. I define feeling good as being comfortable with managing my health; in a counterintuitive way, I deal with it far better after becoming poz than I was before. If anything, I'm in overall better health after 9 poz years than I did in the preceeding 30+. I was down a dark road emotionally prior to the diagnosis, and quite honestly it was the one thing that helped me get back on track. It's not ideal, but I've often wondered where I'd be today had that diagnosis never happened. Knowing where I was mentally back then, I'd still be addicted to drugs or worse - dead from them. I wonder if the O.P. is recently diagnosed and going through the same conflicting thoughts some of us had at the early stages. After all, we've all dealt with our news differently, so I'm not going to jump to conclusions. I certainly went through my share of depression in the initial stages of diagnosis. I have very close friends who have been poz for decades, so I knew it wasn't the end of the world; however, I don't think (some of us) fully anticipate our own reactions when we're one-on-one in the doctor's office about how our lives are now different.

This just depends, really. Primarily, I prefer "hole" as the default. If it's a guy I'm comfortable playing a little rougher with, then I don't mind "cunt" (something about that "K" sound just gives it that extra oomph, ya know?). Generally, I hate the term "pussy", but there has been a rare occasion where it's worked. I'd have to really know the guy sexually, so we have that comfort level of what each other is feeling. In the right moment, with the right guy, it can really add to the situation. Any other time, though, it's a complete turn-off.

I've been at the online dating and app thing for far too long now, but guys who ask for "more pics" fall into two categories: 1. Guys who have been burned by meeting a different guy than expected 2. True pic collectors I've been one of those guys who has met up with a guy who was lying about his photos (by either using someone elses, or using ones that were clearly very old). I do sympathise with those who want some level of assurance that they are messaging someone who's genuine. There comes a point though where you're either reasonably sure, or you feel something's off. If I have doubts, I just end the conversation, rather than asking for more alleged "proof" and wasting both our time. Then there's the pic collectors who's motives one can never really ascertain. Either they want to use someone's "good" pics as their own to catfish someone, or are just looking for spank-bank material to get off. Nothing wrong with having more than one pic on your profile, or sending a couple of additional ones in a chat. I think the underlying issue, though, is at what point do additional pics become overkill. It's the law of diminishing returns. If the fifth picture of yourself shows you look the same as the first four, it's not really adding to the allure. This is especially annoying on sites/apps where you have an allotted amount of photo slots (between four and eight usually) with all slots full. I like to have a good variety on mine, both face and nudes. Asking for any more than that will only get you a view to what you already see. Thing is, there's no guarantee that a guy is telling the truth about themselves in photos on apps/websites - the only real way to know for sure is to meet them in person. A guy can be completely honest with just five pics, while another guy can send you 20 and still be catfishing you. You can even go the route of video calling if you've got enough doubts.

I'd be interested in something like this. I threw the idea out there a long time ago, but got only bottoms responding. My ideal set-up would be a healthy mix of top/bottom/vers so we can all play with each other. Once we're able to safely do this type of stuff, I'd be absolutely into finding a small group of regulars to meet up with.

It's on my bucket list of things to do. Once as a mare, another as a stallion. Think I might do one each and then call it a day.

Yep. My xtube vids have all been deleted, and my favourites are down to 40 vids (from 1000+). Pornhub is dwindling as well, and will prob go to hardly any soon enough. I'm sure there's other sites that we can migrate to, assuming they aren't doing the same (thinking maybe xhamster, thisvid, and barebackbastards?)

I'm ready for this lockdown nonsense to be over so I can get back to getting fucked regularly. I'm very tight at the moment due to not having any action. I've been thinking of investing in an f-machine to help build my tolerance again for when we can get back to slutting it up a bit more. 🙂

Yeah, my experience is similar in that older guys rarely use condoms at sex parties...though I've had it happen. I think it depends on the availability of PrEP where you are; if widely available (in a cost-effective manner), you'll get more younger guys willing to play BB.

Depends on the situation at hand. If i'm topping (on the rare occasion) I like to finish off my bottom by having him cum in my mouth. One of the most intimate finishes to an encounter is holding it there and then going back up and kissing his load back to him (snowballing). If it's a group thing, and I'm on my knees, though - yeah, I'm going to go the bukkake route. Even just the look of jets of cum on my face is enough to get other guys ready to blow.

Ah, the number of group sex parties I've had at a Motel 6...some fun times. But, alas, times do change. Could be any number of factors, which I think are all listed in various posts above. The drug/prostitution thing has always been a bit of a factor, but the corporate rebranding has lots to do with it as well. Look any slutty gay man in the eyes and say "Motel 6", and we know what's on the cards. Motel 6 knows this, and is apparently trying to get around this. Over the years, I've heard from guys who post for sex parties on BBRT. Earlier in the day, a message would go out to the attendees to confirm location and what-not, but every so often, the hotel would get word about it (prob from some bitchy queen). Many a party has been cancelled under threat from just the thing the OP is talking about. There's a trade off. Obviously, the down-market, seedier places would be less inclined to make a fuss, but with that comes the fact that these places are in far sketchier neighbourhoods that some may not feel safe in. Even I would be a bit skittish if I were there on my own just waiting for guys. Hopefully, you can find something that suits; those can be some of the best parties and experiences if done well.

I wasn't chasing it - my becoming poz happened due to general irresponsibility than anything else. It's taken a very long time to come to terms with the long and winding road that eventually led to me hitting rock bottom and doing the kinds of things that eventually got me infected. Once that happened, it's been a long and winding road to get my emotional well-being back on the up and up (though it's always a bit tenuous, as I have a constant fear of falling off the wagon). I'm "proud to be poz" in the sense that I've come to accept my status as the learning experience it's become. That DOES NOT mean that I'm happy to have contracted it in the first place. Nor am I going to advocate for anyone to be irresponsible with their own health and wellbeing either. I have friends of mine who were diagnosed as poz long before I received my own diagnosis. On the one hand, knowing them as long as I have, there's a certain level of knowing what I would have been in for; on the other hand, nothing can really prepare you for the emotional roller coaster of that first doctor visit where you get asked all the questions and provide so many samples of blood. The "big deal" is that once it's done, it's done. No undoing it. I don't think that many of those who are actively "chasing" fully grasp what they are potentially getting themselves into. Most importantly, I grew up in the 80's and 90's when gay men had to suffer through those who would claim that this disease was "killing all the right people". Gay men didn't ask for this affliction then, nor are we asking for this now. It's not a "gay disease" that requires that we all actively seek it out to validate our existence.

I guess the other real question is if you make any second (or subsequent) guy aware that you're already pre-loaded so that they know the risks. I guess it works similar to a top disclosing any risks to me before fucking me - just in reverse. Some guys aren't into sloppy seconds either, but any guy who is will likely understand the risks that they may be taking on.

Total prevention would require abstinence, which I don't recommend. This COVID lockdown has taught me just how much I miss being with another man. If your goal is to REDUCE your risk, instead, then I'd take the advice of some of the commenters above. I've accomplished this by narrowing my sexual activity to a small subset of regular or semi-regular partners. While this isn't foolproof (none of us are monogamous), I haven't caught anything in about 8 years. It's a part of life of being a BB bottom that you're accepting some level of risk of STI's. As long as you test regularly, though, you can get treated for anything that may arise and put fewer folks at risk as possible.