polyglutton
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Everything posted by polyglutton
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I really appreciate hearing your experience and how desire works for you (and the other responses in this thread as well). I fall between c, d, and e on the earlier multiple choice posting and have had trouble understanding and not taking it personal when a and b guys aren't interested in repeats after mind-blowing sex. These posts give me a lot of perspective. Knowing that it's just a wiring issue and not a referendum on the quality of the sex makes a difference.
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You're not alone. When I got together with my partner it was romantic and cerebral but not very sexual. I'm very sexual and wanted more but since he was inexperienced I just thought he needed time to discover and own his sexuality. After about 5 years I decided he was on the asexual spectrum since he only wanted sex 3-4x a year. We've always had an open relationship, and it seemed for a long time he barely took advantage of it. We've been together for 13 years now and last year he shared with me that while he is more or less asexual, he has discovered that he doesn't like having sex with the same person more than 3-4x a year. He needs that variety to be turned on. It's not something that I can relate to but it's how he is. I do still occasionally get bummed that we don't have the sex life I would like because he's very cute but I have other options and we have a polyamorous baseline and no jealousy issues so we make it work.
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If I'm the one doing the speaking. It's only ever hole or ass/arse. The other guy can can use whichever words he wants, especially if I'm bottoming.
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Amen. Fetishising Black men as sexual predators or as phallic servants is dehumanising and rooted in racism. I lose my erection every time I come across these tropes in erotica.
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But this technically defies some shades of consent and is therefore transgressive. I think transgressive sexual turn-ons safely fall under the fetish category.
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While seroconversion and pregnancy are life-changing events, only one is an actual disease. There's a really big difference.
