blackrobe
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Everything posted by blackrobe
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I'm guessing that your problem was that the image was in Apple's HEIC format. When you sent it through WhatsApp it likely converted/flattened it to a JPEG which made it uploadable.
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What's the Matter with (18+) Kids These Days
blackrobe replied to PhoenixGeoff's topic in General Discussion
I don't think generalizing does anyone any favors. It's really hard to be *in a cohort* and also an observer and critic *of that cohort*. We fall into well established "in group/out group" dynamics quite naturally. The dynamics, pressures, and incentives of different times produce altered patterns of behavior quite naturally too. We tend to self-sort into skewed convenience samples in our social engagement. Our experience is always going to be anecdotal and just a part of a picture. That's not going to stop people trying to make sense of it and *make meaning* from it. I can't be the only one who got the irony and self-mocking humor of the thread title being essentially "Hey, you kids! Get off my lawn!" -
Where did you get (or give) your last load?
blackrobe replied to rawTOP's topic in General Discussion
I love knowing I'm taking seed their spouse might otherwise get. -
What's the worse sexual encounter you've ever had?
blackrobe replied to ScaredAndShy's topic in General Discussion
It makes me long for the directness of my home town. -
That's certainly true, but an Old Guard top coming across a bottom wearing what they think of as a top's harness can send mixed signals. I found this out when the friend who's been in Seattle Men In Leather for a long time came to give me an opinion and told me.
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I just looked at harnesses a few days ago. I'm not decided on the style to get though. As a bottom I should have a bulldog harness with it's front and back rings, but it's the X style harness (worn by tops) with an extender to replace the center ring that suits me best. I don't want to send the wrong signals, but I want it to work on my body, too. What style harness did you get?
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Perhaps. I'm inclined to think that for younger folks it's just simple ignorance of the world as it was rather than a studied disapproval or contempt of others. It seems a fair parallel to Hanlon's Razor - "Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity". In this case I think of stupidity as being replaced by ignorance.
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I'm increasingly tired of educating people who didn't live through the dark early days of HIV about the stigma. If a guy approaches me and I see "clean" used to mean STI/HIV negative, I just say "No thanks..." If they press me for why I'm saying no, I tell them.
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As of right now, 273 loads in the last 2 years and a few months.
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Tight Holes: Question for Tops and Bottoms
blackrobe replied to Ffistboi21's topic in General Discussion
Individual physiology plays a part here. I've got a snug hole that stretches out to accommodate pretty quickly if you're a breeder who knows his craft. A couple of days ago I stretched over and took the thickest, hardest cock I've ever seen. I could not get my mouth around it and it really was "beer can" thick. He loved how tight I was on his cock and then he loved how my hole relaxed and got very supple as he fucked and eventually bred me. I think lots of men feel that kind of reaction in my hole is a kind of surrender or submission to them and their cock. And they'd be right. The day before a horny thick 9" breeder pounded me deep for an hour and fucked five loads into me, so I'd been used pretty well recently. Despite this pretty powerful stretching out of my hole, it's going to recover and be snug again for the next breeder. I don't think that means I'm less cock hungry than a guy with a looser hole. I think it means I'm built differently. -
Self-care matters at any age. There's a reason I cook real whole food myself, and make most of what I eat. There's a reason I lift weights 5 days a week, and work on feeling trim and energetic. My mood is better, my body feels better and is definitely stronger, I sleep better, and being in good shape means an energetic fuck makes you smile instead of gasp. I'm no bodybuilder either, but I like when tops run their hands over my body seeing and feeling muscle underneath and knowing they can really go for it.
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I don't have any age restrictions on adult men that fuck and breed me. Just the same, I've noticed some trends. In the last couple of years, it's been guys in their mid-30s who are looking for a bottom with enthusiasm, skills, and experience. Lot's of stories about 20-something bottoms who can't take all their dick, can't take all their fucks and loads, and who think the fuck is just about them. I also hear from them that older guys really know how to worship their cock, ass, and nipples. I've been pretty surprised by the number of 30-something tops who, having fucked me so well they made me cover myself in my own precum, tell me that very often younger bottoms don't seem to like getting fucked. Just recently, I've noticed something shift. I started to see more 20-somethings with a very specific need to fuck and breed daddy. Often Asian and Latino breeders, so there is perhaps and interracial component there. I've also noticed younger guys wanting to "knock up daddy", so there is more Dad/son role-play and MPREG kink. I'm 100% there for these trends, but I'll say that an experienced top (of any age) who knows how to work a bottom into enthusiastically taking every pulse of his seed will alway have my attention whether they are 21 or 75.
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False positives are *very* common with the fast blood tests. I think the number was 38% of all positives are false.
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More than half of the loads I've absorbed into my body were Poz, lots were undetectable, but I'm sure some were unmedicated. I got a false positive on a fast HIV test at my last screening and was surprised since I'm 100% PrEP compliant. It turned out to be a false positive, but I know the feeling of waiting in limbo until a test comes back. Just set it aside and breathe.
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Risk taking behavior can lead to scary outcomes. If you have been compliant on your PrEP regimen initially, the risk is vanishingly small. Adding PEP to PrEP in a timely fashion as you did makes the risk even smaller. Take a few deep breaths and recognize you are catastrophizing needlessly. Be complaint with your meds and wait it out.
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I've very occasionally found that breeders like their ass eaten to turn them on for breeding. I'm happy to comply.
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I don't think there's any strong correlation between height and build and top or bottom preference. I'm a bottom and at 5'10" I'm average height which means there are plenty of men both taller and shorter than me. I've put on some muscle in the last couple of years and I get read as a top and dom more often than I'd like. Is getting strong to take harder fucks so unusual in a bottom? I'm on the submissive/primal side and a difference in height and size, bigger or smaller, engages my natures in specific ways. While being overwhelmed by a taller and bigger top than me is great, I've found shorter and smaller tops can be more aggressive and lodge their dick in your ass and mind deeper that other tops do. When I think about the more aggressive and dominant breeders and those that manhandle me, more of them are shorter than me than taller. That much power in a tight package does something in my head, so finding these breeders is a pleasure. I've got 40lbs and 3 inches @hexfet and I'm pretty sure he could have me bent and bred in no time.
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You never know who will have the right shape and size and skill to make you experience something intense and profound. It's one of the reasons why I try to place little restriction on who I'll play with. I want the pool of breeders as large as possible for me to learn and pleasure and be surprised by how they might pleasure and connect with me. The oldest daddy breeder I've serviced is one of the most memorable. A more modestly hung breeder fucks me with an intensity that lodges his dick in my mind as well as my ass and drives me crazy. I wish there was a way to break tops and bottoms of an obsession with metrics that can't possible capture and communicate the experience of a man fucking you with his whole being.
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I think being skeptical of what people say can make a lot of sense. On the other hand, I've spent a lot of time in communities of men who are survivors of child sexual abuse and who were sexualized very early in their lives. What some men share here regarding their early sexualization is *very mild* compared to the truths I've seen shared in other forums. As a result, my bar for what's unlikely and yours are probably set very differently. Sometimes I read something and wonder, but I don't say anything. Why? Because there's no way for me to know the truth, and telling someone who's had those kind of experiences they are lying can be re-traumatizing for them, as survivors are routinely not believed when they report what has happened to them. Sure, some stories people tell might be just that, stories. But many of them are truthful and, without being in a position to know which is which, I choose not to play umpire and potentially injure them. One can be skeptical and keep it to oneself.
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Where did you get (or give) your last load?
blackrobe replied to rawTOP's topic in General Discussion
Sometime I think the universe does things just to mess with us. My regulars have been off doing summertime things with all their pent up lockdown energy, so it's been a little lean here in the sexy-time sense. This morning, a new mid-20s guy decided now was the moment he needed to fuck daddy. Making hay while the sun shines, I worshiped his nipples and licked ropes of the precum he made off his cock, and got an enthusiastic head down ass up breeding and fun was had by all. Feeling buoyed by that, I did a Costco run, a Safeway run, and picked up bagels as a treat, all while his load was absorbing into my happy hole. Got home, and all the groceries put away, then got a message from another new mid-20s guy needing to fuck daddy. Huh. Why not? More fun was had by all and after a longish session of nipple and cock worship, and an enthusiastic missionary breeding during which he asked me mid thrust if I'd come back again, I finally got home and grabbed a late-ish lunch. Which is when I got messages from a rough dom breeder guy who's been wanting to "sample my wares" for a while but scheduling has been a problem, and an increasingly regular rough piggy top who likes that I'm so receptive to a deep pounding from his thick 8", both wanting to fuck me right then. I had to beg off the last two because I had to do chores and start dinner, and the dom top likes a pristine unbred hole to use, but does this kind of "famine or feast" thing happen to everyone? -
Fair enough. I saw what looked like familiar persistent pain and wanted to offer empathy and the relief of something that helped me, not judgement. Thanks for letting me know its not necessary or helpful to you.
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When we are rejected, for whatever reason, we can be hurt. Sometimes very deeply. Its clear these past rejections have hurt and affected you very deeply, as this is a variation of the same "rant" I've seen you post several times here on BZ. I'm sorry that you've felt the sting of these rejections so keenly and so often in your life. I've been at a loss on how to respond to you each time I see you post on this. You see, I get my own share of this kind of rejection all the time, and have no small amount of empathy for your experience. It brought to mind a Zen Koan that I read many years ago that has helped me. This is it: I found that I was carrying around these past hurts, and holding onto resentment for the people who had hurt me. All that did was magnify how hurt I felt, until that became a kind of grievance. Eventually, I realized that I was letting each person who rejected me live rent-free in my head to prolong the pain of their rejection. By holding onto my resentment about how I was treated I was only hurting myself even more. So now I try not to hold onto the hurt and resentment I feel for how I'm treated. I "leave it by the river" as soon as I can. That's what has worked for me.
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Want a load but not the risk - advice wanted
blackrobe replied to Bbikercub's topic in HIV Risk & Risk Reduction
I'm sure bloodworm is actually bloodwork. 😉 -
Want a load but not the risk - advice wanted
blackrobe replied to Bbikercub's topic in HIV Risk & Risk Reduction
I was replying to @Quilly55 who is in NC, USA and had the same issue. -
Many thanks, @drscorpio
