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Thank you for attending to this, and for bringing it up, @Beardybarrowboy. It's the little things that count! I sometimes find it hot to see discolored cum leaking from a hole in videos, but there's a fine line. The effect can, for me, quickly turn to disgust. Though there's nothing wrong with being 48 — I myself will be there in a matter of months — I must say that I would have placed you in your late 30s and not a day older, baser on your profile pictures. So sexy! 😉

Well said. I'm happy to help a bottom get off, but that's not an excuse for the bottom to stop short of getting me off and taking my load. An erotic story author once wrote these immortal words (I wish I could find the story to quote verbatim): 'He was getting close so I had to speed up. I had to ride the carousel before the amusement park closed.' 😂

@Queenzlander59, your questions are very pertinent and there aren't many places for new bottoms to turn to for candid advice. (Thanks, Breeding Zone, for being one such place.) As a top I'm happy when a bottom's hole is mostly cleaned out, but I don't expect sex to be aseptic, either. That's why we have old towels, extra sheets, washing machines, and bleach! If a bottom is worried and tells me, I'm happy to pause, and maybe even join him in the shower a few minutes later. Cleaning out is, however, essential if people will be fucking in a public place without facilities. It would be awkward indeed to walk, ride the bus, or take the train home, wearing soiled clothes. When meeting in a hotel, cleaning out also helps. The sheets can't be changed on demand, there are never enough towels, and in any case it's not fair (or sanitary) to leave bodily fluids for housekeeping staff to handle. If you are visiting a top's home late at night, it's also courteous to clean out. The last thing any top wants is to have to say goodbye to a hot bottom, and then to have to re-make the bed and do laundry at 4 AM. We need sleep, too! Good luck in your bottoming journey!

Well said. It is a delicate balance. As a top I stray into fantasy territory that some bottoms take literally, or that doesn't match their own sexual repertoire (sometimes with younger, less well-experienced bottoms). I agree with everyone who says that being verbal when cumming is essential.

And the way things are going in the US, those complications will only get worse. If abortion rights are eliminated at the federal level, straight guys in many states will have to be extra-careful. Let's not underestimate the importance, to a married straight guy, of being able to nut in a warm hole whenever you need to, without worrying that you'll get someone pregnant and that she'll get emotionally attached, potentially ruining your regular life. That sums it up! I saw a captioned image on Tumblr years ago, before porn was forbidden: "Having a faggot means not having to wait."

Well said! I think it would be important to check an official, written source to fully understand PrEP coverage in the UK. It is possible — just as happens here in the US — that some health practitioners are reluctant to prescribe PrEP even though it is indicated and would be covered. A practitioner might be following outdated, unofficial, or made-up rules; might not have experience prescribing PrEP; might not have experience serving groups of patients likely to request PrEP; might not be familiar with research findings about PrEP; might be uncomfortable taking a sexual history; and might have a [non-scientific] bias against PrEP, against PrEP users, or against sex itself. (This last one, anti-sex bias, is particularly likely in the UK. I grew up in Canada when it was still legally and culturally British, and I could tell you horror stories about the society's views on sexuality.) In the US, the CDC PrEP guidelines, updated in 2021, provide clear guidance about who should receive PrEP and which PrEP products are appropriate for which patient groups (the US leads the world in having 3 approved HIV PrEP products, Truvada/generic, Descovy, and Apretude, the new 2-month injectable for prevention). The CDC says to inform "[a]ll sexually active adults and adolescents" about PrEP and "[p]rescribe if requested", even if a patient is not in a high-risk category designated in the assessment flowchart. Similarly, the US preventive care mandate is unequivocal: virtually all health insurance plans must cover PrEP at no out-of-pocket cost — no deductible, no flat-dollar copayment, no percentage coinsurance. This applies to the prescription, the office visits, and the tests. Despite the clear guidelines, plenty of Americans still report trouble getting their regular medical practitioners to prescribe PrEP, and/or trouble getting their insurers to cover the full cost. Even though the details will vary in other countries, similar gaps between current policy and actual practice are likely. Only if we go straight to the source and challenge our providers and insurers — or find better providers (as well as better insurers, in the US case), will we get the care we need and deserve. Our long-term health is worth the effort. One last point is that at least one very-low-cost generic version of Truvada, made in India by Aurobindo, is approved and available in the US. The retail price is just over $1 per pill, which amounts to less than $35 per month for patient groups (like cisgender women) who cannot use intermittent dosing. For those who can, the cost drops to under $5 for one day of sexual activity in seven days (add $1 for each consecutive day of sexual activity). In high-income countries other than the US, unapproved generics have been available through unofficial channels (foreign mail order) for years, but it's likely that low-cost generics are now receiving approval. Combining an approved low-cost generic with free or low-cost testing in community clinics means that PrEP is available even when official coverage options fall through (or aren't pursued).

Absolutely! What's good for the goose is good for the gander. If a partner's sexual behavior isn't illegal or harmful, I don't believe I have any right to try to regulate it. I also don't believe it can be regulated. (That's what drives people to cheat.) Most importantly, I believe that a desire to regulate someone else's sexual behavior is completely incompatible with loving the person. I find it perplexing that, in a society that places extra value on long-term marriages, people who marry assume that their partners will remain static and unchanged for decades. Our sexual desires evolve over time, if for no other reason than that we are constantly discovering new things. A person who divorces a spouse because the spouse turns out to be bisexual is stupid and selfish. (I'm of course not saying you advocate divorce in these cases. I appreciate your thoughtful post.)

I think we're already being tricked into legal and moral debates, even though the material on Twitter is probably erotic stories and pornographic images published for the sake of making money — not reflections of real-life behavior. It surprises me that people are so quick to assume that 'something I saw on the Internet' must be real.

Sorry for my typo...I meant "empathize", not "emphasize". 🙂

@Breedingandseeding, I'd say it's very important for onlookers to be able to distinguish fantasy from reality. Some rather common sexual fantasies include elements of coercion, which could make the sexual acts inappropriate in real life. But fantasy is not real life, and finding an idea erotic does not imply that a person wants to do it in real life, much less that the person is doing it in real life. Thus, moral outrage might be misdirected. I'd say that moral outrage, in this kind of abstract situation, would be dangerous. We as GLBT people are often tricked into attacking ourselves. Unwittingly, we do Anita Bryant's work for her, feeding the conservative lie that gay people are immoral. Also, there's no way to verify Twitter content. Especially if this person makes money from social media, it's likely that he's posting staged stories and/or images. Eroticism, forbidden fantasies, and controversy are among the best ways to attract attention, garner clicks, and generate revenue.

The only relevant materials I can think of are Christian-fundamentalist-themed, and have been found to be ineffective. Please consider talking with a counselor or psychologist who is licensed in the jurisdiction where you live. No matter what the participants' interests, experiences, and motivations, an Internet forum is a poor substitute for professional advice.

Props to you for protecting yourself, your wife, and your sexual partners, @90PercentStr8! For others who might be worried about having HIV and STI tests, treatment, and PrEP in their medical records, please seek out community clinics. You are welcome at GLBT clinics even if you identify as straight. Clinics offer free or low-cost testing without billing insurance, and they have "navigators" who can help you find suitable low- or no-cost options for PrEP, again, without relying on insurance. Many facilities encourage you to use whatever name you want. Providing a working cell phone number or e-mail address is helpful, so that clinic staff can contact you. At least one state, California, also funds a special PrEP access program for dependents who don't want the "primary insured" to know that they are using PrEP. Even though an adult's medical records are always private, billing statements and claim summaries sent to the primary insured reveal dates, locations, names of doctors, types of tests, and prescription drug names — details that point to sexual health care. It's stupid that billing and claims effectively bypass privacy protections, because this discourages people from getting the care that they need. Insurers, however, are happy about this, precisely because it serves as a deterrent, leaving them with fewer covered charges to pay for.

I feel for both of you. I honestly don't understand why wives would not want to know what turns their husbands on, and why they would deliberately oppose activities that are harmless, and are pleasing to their husbands. You'd think they could emphasize. Don't they have sexual longings of their own? Is a relationship really worth throwing away because your husband is bisexual? Then again, I also don't understand people who break up over non-monogamy/"cheating", so what do I know? I could never [try to] place constraints on the sexual behavior of someone I loved, unless it were illegal or caused harm.

It sounds like his loss. Hopefully you will find some new Poz tops, even if they are a little farther than your own apartment building!

The outline of the coronal ridge of the penis (VPL, in other contexts) is just one of the things that make this graphic hot. Thanks for sharing!

I walked by the old Watergarden bathhouse (in San Jose, California) on Thursday. Demolition has started. Each time I walked by over the past year, it was sad to see the front doors boarded up and a digit missing from the address sign. Now, even the glass blocks beside the doors are gone. An excavator was parked on the former pool deck. Let's hope someone sets up a commemorative plaque, maybe a few doors down at the Billy de Frank LGBTQ community center. It's especially important to remember gay spaces in suburban areas, where people had few places to go and where local opposition must have been fierce.

Thank you for posting this, @Cream4u. Your experience resonates with me on so many levels. As with any fetish, I guess, you'll know instinctively if it's right for you, @hermarbi. I hope you try condom play, and enjoy it! For me, there was a certain period of time, lasting about two months, when I had a strong desire to collect used condoms and either jerk off with their contents or, for the coup de grâce, dump the contents into the hole of a BBRTS bottom buddy and then fuck my own load into him. The acute desire passed and I haven't done this in a long time, but I still feel a rush of excitement when I walk through the neighborhood where I used to pick up used condoms. Condominiums, luxury apartments, and security cameras have changed the character of the neighborhood, but now and then I'll still notice a used condom, the sign of a surreptitious moment of pleasure for some suburban married straight guy, and hopefully of some income for a brave and hard-working sex worker.

You could give out used condoms at the wedding dinner, instead of those silly boxes of stale mints. 😏

What a perfect theme for the year! Now I'm imagining a bareback-themed "page-a-day" calendar with a motivational saying on top of each day's bareback porn pic. 😂

I've been in two long-term relationships with Poz people, the first for six months circa 2000, and my current relationship, which is almost 8 years strong! In 2000, it was just becoming common for people to start combination therapy and have an undetectable viral load. The research establishing that undetectable means untransmissible had not begun, no HIV drugs were approved for prevention (HIV PrEP did not exist), and only emergency preventive measures were available (HIV PEP or post-exposure prophylaxis, which at that time was typically used for occupational exposures like needle sticks, though in San Francisco I could have received it if I'd asked, after a high-risk sexual encounter). My answer to the question is yes, I'd be in a long-term relationship with a Poz person. That's true today, and it was true 22 years ago. Back in 2000, my boyfriend and I went through a very large number of condoms in the time we were together. I did fuck him bare three times. He felt guilty about it, but we both acknowledged that those were the hottest of about 100 fucks over the course of our relationship. The sheer pleasure of fucking him skin-to-skin, and filling him with my load outweighed any worry that I might have had. I regret using condoms at all in our relationship, and if I could do it over again, I would not have used them. I don't say that in hindsight, knowing now that U=U and that there was no risk, but because natural, bare, barrier-free fucking is what I want with people I love.

What he did is reprehensible, because it's your prerogative to enjoy whatever hole you like at any given moment. Although I don't condone his actions in any way, who could blame him for wanting to enjoy your sexual prowess a little longer, @hntnhole? 😉

Sounds like a hot encounter for both of you! You are an altruist, doing your part to sustain people's marriages by filling in sexual gaps.

This is a good point. Another factor affecting the supply of used condoms is gentrification. There are fewer and fewer outdoor cruising or "parking" spots. Are people still finding used condoms in adult video arcades? My perception (and I could be wrong!) is that even more closeted and/or cheating sex goes on in arcades than in bathhouses, potentially increasing condom usage. Not that I condone condom usage in and of itself! If condoms must be used, at least those warm, gooey, fertile, nutrient-rich random loads get saved, for insertion into willing bottoms before I add my own load.

My kind of guy. I would so love to fuck you with loads from multiple, random condoms already inside you...and see if I win the "sperm war". 😈