PhoenixGeoff

I guess it depends on what you consider racism to be. So much of gay culture seems to revolve around sex, and lots of people seem to have an idea of what they're physically attracted to that's based, at least in part, on race. So let me ask another question: are people like me, who generally won't have sex with guys who are under 27 or so, ageist? Are the 19 year olds who may refer to me as "daddy" (not the way to appeal me, incidentally) being discriminatory? I don't think so. I think people are entitled to express what appeals to them physically, and inevitably, that's going to involve a whole bunch of things we have zero control over (race, age, height, eye and hair color, cock size). I think the problem comes in because you have a group of guys who are pretty promiscuous. When you have a guy who's the village bicycle turn you down, it's very easy to ascribe that to something darker than "you're not my type." Here's the reality: just like everybody is somebody's type, nobody is everybody's type. I find our host here incredibly hot and would jump in the sack with him in a heartbeat. But I'm not his type. And that's cool. It doesn't mean we couldn't have a beer together at some point. Nor does it mean he's prejudiced in any way. It just means that he has a certain kind of man he's into and others that he's not. No need to read anything more than that into it. Here's where I agree with you: you do need to be polite. You don't have to let someone down by calling them names. If someone comes on to you, they're paying you a compliment. A simple, "thanks very much, but you're not my type" will do. Now, some guys won't take no for an answer. At that point, you forfeit the right to politeness, IMO. As for how we treat guys outside of the sexual arena, that gets a little trickier. Physical attractiveness should never be part of how we interact with people on a social or especially a professional level. But I'll admit that extremely hot men (particularly hot straight guys I know damn well aren't going to have sex with me) have gotten more attention from me on both levels simply because I want to be around them as much as I can. Is that right? Probably not. It probably comes from letting the wrong head do a lot of my thinking. Does that mean that I treat other men or women inappropriately? No; I always do try to mind my manners. But that is something that does happen with me and that I struggle a bit to keep in check, because it is a form of prejudice, albeit one I'd say is pretty pervasive and universal.

I'd broach the topic of an open relationship with your bf. Bear in mind that these can come with a wide variety of rules (e.g. you bring in other guys to have three-ways with, you only get into certain kinds of sex with other guys, you only have sex with other guys under certain situations, etc.) Regardless, you need to talk to your other half about what's going on here. This is not something he should discover when he goes through the sites you've been browsing (like this one) or catches you in the act. If the issue is that he doesn't want you taking another guy's load, then that's a reasonable restriction to put on your play. But you need to lay some ground rules in advance and make sure that he's being taken care of first and foremost.

I'm personally not a huge fan of toys, especially when used by someone else on me. The problem is that the top doesn't get anywhere near as much tactile feedback about what's going on, which can easily lead to an unpleasant experience for the bottom, if you're not extremely careful. My advice would be to throw him in a sling, fuck him for a bit and then break out the Crisco and just slowly, carefully and patiently open him up. If you're not an experienced FF top yourself, I'd suggest you find him one. Certainly, small, collapsible hands help, but in my experience, taking a fist a mostly a matter of breaking through the bottom's mental barriers, not the physical ones. I'd go for an experienced top with massive hands over a small-handed guy who doesn't know what he's doing any day.

That's why God in His infinite goodness gave us ball-gags.

As for whether they're legal or not, it's my impression that there are three things that might attract the attention of the police. The first is if there's any prostitution going on. The second is if the venue is selling alcohol. The third is if there are illegal drugs around. As long as none of those three comes up, it should be fine. Technically, organizing a sex party means that the location will be a "bawdy-house", but since these parties are held infrequently, it's unlikely that the police will do much about it unless the neighbors complain. I should point out that I am not a lawyer, so anyone who relies on my advice to stay out of jail is not too smart. On the other hand, if we happen to be in the same city at one of things, I'd probably get arrested right along with you, and we can then get into a hot prison sex scene.

I'm not very good relationship material myself. Decent friend maybe, but I tend to be too independent to be a good husband. The relationships I have had have tended to have been initiated by others. Most have been casual fucks that went wrong (right?). Lots of guys seem to have trouble wrapping their head around my attitude towards sex. That said, when I do get into a relationship, I tend to stick with it. If you can put up with my flaws, I'm pretty much going to stand by you.

Damn, stud...I love the way you think.

Just out of curiosity, is there any city out there where the tops outnumber the bottoms?

Remember too, pain is a signal that something's wrong and that you should probably stop whatever it is you're doing. You run the risk of hurting yourself, perhaps permanently, if you ignore it or mask it. Ask yourself this: is this play session so hot that it would be worth it if I could never get fucked again?

Don't forget that when you're visiting a city, you're always going to get more action from the locals. You're the new meat in town and you're also a limited time offer....

The Midtowne here in Denver is particularly annoying. They have three porn channels, one of which is straight. That's not my cup of tea, but it's fine; lots of bi guys hit the bath and I've even known a few gay guys who get off on straight porn for whatever reason. What's annoying is that the straight porn is almost always bareback (including anal, if there is any) while the gay porn never is. Freaking double standard.

No doubt they're cruising this board for jack off material. Hopefully they'll eventually take the step of creating a profile and actively participating.

Guys (especially tops) listen up: If a bottom tells you he doesn't want you to cum in his ass and you do anyway, that's rape. If that bottom subsequently freaks out as a result and calls the police, you can be arrested and charged. If the bottom's negative and you're positive, that can pile on even more serious charges depending on the prosecutor, like attempted murder or assault with a deadly weapon (yes, anything can be a deadly weapon). You can go to prison for a very long time and you can be forced to register as a sex offender when you get out. The potential legal consequences are that serious. Your life from here on out will irrevocably change for the much worse. I know the whole dominant top and rape scene thing can be very hot. Hell, it turns me on too. But this is the kind of thing that needs to be negotiated out in advance and in such a way that you have a written record of what he wanted, like an email conversation. And you need to respect the men you're fucking around with too, including the limits they want to set. Not just because it's the right thing to do, but also because you can get yourself into serious trouble if you don't.

This is also great advice for avoiding the flakes too. If a guy isn't willing to give you a phone number (or answer the phone or a text), then he's probably not going to follow through on the hookup either. If I'm traveling, I always call or text before I leave, both to give him a heads up for when to expect me and also to verify that he's legit.

QFT. Only quibble I have with this statement is that guys online have NEVER been honest about their appearance or interests. Remember AOL inches?

In your situation, I'd probably choose either "You Can" or "No" instead of "Ask Me". Realistically, you're almost certainly not going to be doing anything with most of your BBRT hookups. Most people also seem to treat pot differently from other drugs. A lot of profiles will specify that they don't object to partners smoking weed, but don't want to be around anyone doing anything harder. Maybe having a separate category for pot smoking on the profile would be a good idea, especially since it's semi-legal in a lot of states like California, Washington and Colorado.

6'4" and about 230 here. Biggest issue I run into is that people seem to think I'm a top, based on my size, appearance and demeanor. Don't get me wrong...I love breeding ass. But I love getting fucked and bred really good too. Big, solid, hairy, broad-shouldered masculine men are probably my favorite though.

This is true if it's the only "Ask Me" in a profile (or one of only two or three). The profiles that piss me off are the ones that have "Ask Me" for everything. To what sportsfan said, I'd also add that this is freaking 2012. There are digital cameras everywhere. There are privacy controls on the site. There is absolutely no excuse whatsoever not to have pictures on your profile.

I dunno, you sound like a hell of a fun time to me.

I don't know about that. There's a difference between "putting a bottom in his place" and fucking a guy who sees himself as nothing but a hole. The former makes me assert my dominance, sometimes by force. It's the challenge and the ultimate win that's the turn-on to me. Having a guy who's submissive and wants my cock from the get-go is a completely different thing. Yeah, it can be great if I just want to get off, kind of as if I were using him as a fleshlight. But there's no thrill that goes along with knowing I'm fucking a man. I think that's why I may end up on the bottom more than I top. It's hard finding bottoms that are willing to be more than sex toys, that haven't already degraded themselves. But it's also hard finding tops who are brave enough to get into a scene where they risk ending up on the bottom themselves, so I'm careful when I'm in that top mode that things don't end up crossing the line into (actual) rape. Anyways, to get back to the question, I think men like it for the same reasons we like fighting and aggression and winning. It's the testosterone.

I once ran into a guy in a completely different context and saw he had a biohazard tattoo. Struck up a conversation with him and asked him about it (yes, in the hope that he might be a potential fuck). Turns out he was straight and had DJed for a bit under that name. I didn't have the heart to tell him what that symbol meant in the gay community. (But yeah, having it right above your cock is a pretty dead giveaway)

OK, so who wants to make some porn with us regular guys? I'm in!

Heheh... God damned Internet Explorer. The bane of developers' lives for going on 20 years now.

No. Total turn-off.