So, while I've been "at it" for a long time now, a better story is the first one I took, maybe 30+ years ago. One night I went to the Eagle, had a few beers, and then hit the fuckroom. There was a long (maybe 10 yards), you had to go through to get to the fuckroom itself, and it was usually packed with guys waiting to get back there. Lots of groping, rutting against other guys waiting to get to where we could fuck each other, but there was no actual "sexual acts" allowed in the corridor, since it was open to the back-bar, and thus visible to anyone in the back bar, which equals illegal. Some guy had to finish and leave the back bar so another guy could get in.
So, finally I was able to squeeze into the fuckroom and get started. The actual fuckroom wasn't large, like in most bars - maybe 12' x 15' at best. On weekends, there were so many guys packed in there the Cocksuckers could hardly get to their knees to eat dick. So, I rutted in a few Holes as usual, while I was hunting the gut I wanted to pump sperm into. I don't remember anything about the Hole I started to fuck, but I do remember rather well some guy pressing up against me from behind, especially when I realized he'd taken his Cock out and was humping against my jeans. Then, that guy reached around my waist and started to ease my jeans down. Now. I'd had my life-partner's Cock up my Hole before, but I hadn't liked it at all because it was too big, it hurt like hell, and I wasn't really interested in getting fucked in the first place. At some point - can't quite recall when - I reached around and jacked that Cock for a bit, and it felt great. But the atmosphere, the excitement, the beer, got my head a little more focused on the pure Lust of the situation, and the prospect of actually letting a Cock fuck me while I was fucking a guy was just so - what - "in tune" with my Lusts that I just thought "hell yeah I'll take that Cock shooting sperm up my gut - it's just as hot as me shooting sperm up another guy's gut".
The guy behind me got my jeans down far enough to rub his Cock against my Hole (they were already unbuttoned anyway, since I was fucking another Hole), and shoved it in. Of course it felt good - but the real kick is how the notion of taking a load off an unseen Cock, an unseen guy, in the middle of a fuckroom full of other pigs doing what their Lusts required them to do - was so compelling I just said over my shoulder "go ahead - fuck my ass full of your cum". The Cock wasn't that big or thick, just a regular sized Cock, but it was uncut, and rock hard, and act itself - telling some guy to empty his balls in my Hole was probably the single most hotttttt fuck I've ever had. That was when I first started to actually reflect on who I was, what I was, how much I loved my Lusts, how much wanton pigsex with other men like me I wanted, how it was a part of what I was becoming. When I felt that Cock unload, I think I shot my toenails out as well as my seed into the Hole I was rutting in.
The moral (or immoral) of the story is, keep an open mind about how deeply you delve into the pigpen. We're not supposed to like who we are. Culturally, we're supposed to be ashamed of who and what we really are. Bullshit. If being honest is the right thing to do, and other folks don't care for it, let them live their lives, and let us live ours.
Note: in my experience, the sooner you start listening to / honoring / accepting your Lusts, the longer you have to act on them. Be aware though, that the deeper you go, the more it will take to sate your carnal needs. As the years go by, what used to wring you out will need to be expanded upon. It will take ever deeper, more delicious depravities to sate the Lusts you hold so dear. That said, honesty is always best, expecially when it's yourself you're talking to.
