Single Guys - Choice Or Just Haven't Found Mr Right? Why?

[jeff238]

This topic gets to a fundamental issue I have wrestled with forever. I just don't have much, if anything, I common with "gay" guys beyond sex. I don't present as gay, or participate in anything that would be considered "normal" gay activities, again, besides sex. I have no problem owning the gay moniker, but just think it's false advertising, in a way, to tell someone I'm gay in a social sense. To be most accurate, I would say I'm without a doubt homosexual, but not gay. As An example, I Have no musical appreciation at all, don't dance, and find nearly all parties boring as hell. I do like dirt bike riding, sitting around a shop BSing with friends, working on everything from computers to heavy equipment, and in fact do equipment repair for a living. I have absolutely no problem being intimate with another guy, and love kissing. I like sex to be passionate as well as piggy. I'm effortlessly monogamous. My personality type (INTJ) makes me somewhat standoff ish, or distant, until there is a clear connection.

Interestingly, my favorite place to go to "mingle" with gay/homosexual guys, is the baths. I hate the bar scene.

So, I guess, what I'm saying is that I just hold little hope of finding someone to connect with on more than one level. I have found my self being jealous, in a way, of guys that present as "gay" since they have an obvious connection with other "gay" guys.

It just makes it harder for me to connect on multiple levels, so I hold little hope of a relationship.

[Barebackbottomno]

Cheer up, you're not alone.  You just described me and thousands of other guys who are experiencing the same dilemma.  My favorite places to go are baths and leather bars.  

[Pig Bottom]

I'm shy and I'm afraid of rejection, I"m also picky so I would have to really be into him and he would have to make the first move.  

 

I have liked a few guys in a social circle. but I am not getting my hopes up anymore.  There was one guy who I liked, He was at two parties that I went to, one was a small dinner party.  I gave him a big hug when I left, next time I saw him he kind of avoided me.  Anyway he's ugly as sin so it's no biggie.  

 

I find as I get older it's worse and I click with less people, and it's hard to make friends.

 

Gay guys don't really want friends, they want boyfriends.  

 

For the time being I'm fine going to Slammers with hopes of getting raw dick in my ass, which some nights are better than others, sometimes 1 guy  will fuck, sometimes 5.  

 

I like being a slut, and if I started dating I would still fool around, I"m not jealous and I would love an open relationship. 

Edited April 13, 2015 by Pig Bottom

[Guest ff-whole]

As a bi sexual bottom, I love to get fucked by a lot of men. And besides I don't go for men for love, just for the sleazy sex.

With women, I love the sex and their curves, but not sure if I ever wanted to have a relationship [again].

Probably not... love my freedom to much.

So yes: Single and ready to mingle and men-handled...

[Ddawg]

I've been single for 9 years, not meeting Mr. Right. Met meth heads, liars, bi-curious but not willing to emotionally invest although "You're a great guy and if I were to really date a guy...", a couple 'yes but no' where life circumstances prevented anything (going through divorce, moving to Florida...) or simply they were perfect but in a relationship.

I think a big problem is I carry myself as a top, apparently, and a heteronormative transmogrification says the top/man should be the pursuer.

Also, I've concluded that the vast majority of gayboys actually don't know how to date or are afraid to do the dating thing.

It seems as though the way into a relationship is "let's hook up, if you're a good lay, let's pretend it's more."

If you want sex, keep it just sex. If you want a relationship, we gotta work at it.

[NastyRigPig]

As the years go by, and gays get more rights in the US, we also have the right to not be fabulous, well dressed, with designer clothing and meticulous urban apartments.  We have the right to be shlubs, mechanics, whatever we want.  Homophobia is horrid, but self loathing is far more destructive.  I'm in a sexless relationship.  The guy is nice enough, and for the sake of economics, we're better off together.  Fortunately, I travel a lot with my job so I'm able to get some hot sex outside the relationship, and I assume he does as well. Honestly, I hope he is, otherwise it's been a fucking long time since he's been fucked.

 

So here I am coupled, and am I happy?  I'd say I'm content.  The older we get, sometimes content is enough.  I used to dream of Prince Charming on his mounted steed, or him being hung like a horse to mount me, but that's another discussion, but I've realized over the years to become my own Prince Charming.  Not as romantic, but it is self fulfilling.  

[AlwaysOpen]

Hmm, well RawTop, I was slut in the 70's in NYC in my late teens and very early 20's, had at least 3000 different cock in me by the time I graduated college. Then I  moved for work and was picked up by a guy who actually made me breakfast the morning after, and we ended up being together 19 years. He was all about monogomy, me,  maybe not so much so. And after about 7  years our sex stopped ( but not the love/relationship) and we morphed into  outside sex on a don't ask don't tell <brag??> basis. It all ended with him  having an affair for a year  behind my back- we tried  to go the relationship coach route but it failed and I moved out/away and into a house wit.h a couple- as a slave to the one man. THAT lasted all of about 4 months, and since then I have been single (almost 14 years now) I have fuck buds and friends, but I  think  twice burned and I  now have barriers and  walls up to settling in and  enmeshing myself into someone else to any depth  or degree. And, I do love that  my bedroom is a king bed and fuck bench and sling-- I would think finding another  man who would think that was suitable decor would be just too complicated. And  of some of the pigs I play with- hell, most, are either married to a woman, or are partnered and play outside their relationship (known or on the sly) and  so they are not really candidates for  relationships (and besides, if they are cheating on the BF now, why would I want to become that boyfriend  down the road and experience the same cheating?)

BTW- well over 9000 different cocks in me  at the  very least  at this point-so the last 14  years have not been  a waste <g>)

Edited April 14, 2015 by AlwaysOpen

[PhilUrass]

I've been single almost the last 5 years and have happily spent most of my adult life single. I'm in a place where it would be great to have a partner, but it's hard finding guys to date...I don't live in London (an hour train ride away, so not far), I only fuck bare and don't drink or use drugs and am not interested in a monogamous relationship, so that all narrows the field down considerably. I don't need a relationship to validate myself, so I'm not going to settle. But hoping to one day meet a cute lil barebacking bottom that doesn't need chems to get piggy and who will let me whore his ass out, or chill with me on the sofa after a great meal, watching the Walking Dead as I knit him some socks...and if I need a pee break, he'll be down on his knees, mouth open...

[JXC]

Kinda both, right now I'm not really in a position for a (at least gay) LTR, but I'm not really going out of my seek to seek one either regardless of my situation. I'm mostly concerned with obtaining financial independence right now, and then i will probably seek more actively for "Mr. Right"  

[cumslut23]

Both, not a monogamous guy and maybe too kinky. Would love to have an attractive soul mate to live with and share experiences with... 

[averageslut48]

I had a few relationships in younger years. But I decided to live as a single because of my promiscous lifestyle.As cumslut23 I would like to have a soul mate or pig brother to share expereiences and serve Tops together.