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Hey guys.  I've been reading these forums for a while but this is my first time posting.  I've barebacked with ex boyfriends before and barebacked occasionally during a drunk one night stand or two, but as a lot of you seem to have felt, I've always known that I love barebacking and that the idea of taking loads from strangers or groups is the absolute hottest thing in the world to me.  I can't get off to porn with condoms and even thinking about getting in a sling at a bathhouse and taking endless raw dick makes me hard as fuck.

 

But, like a lot of people, I am still scared to just start taking loads left and right like I want to.  I feel like this is a pretty normal hesitation and deep down I think eventually I'll turn into a complete cumdump, but it's hard to know when to take the first step.

 

So I was just wondering for those of you who went through a similar process, what was it that finally set you over the edge and made your fantasies start to be realities?

 

 

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I'm kind of like you. I started with exes and a few random hookups on accident, but after a while I realized I hated being fucked with a condom because it didn't feel good, there was too much friction, and not of the good kind. Then one night I went home with a guy and it was the best sex I'd ever had and I begged him to cum up my ass. From there on out it was just a matter of starting to deliberate not use condoms when I was getting fucked. 

 

I still haven't turned into a full cumdump, but I'm hoping to go on PrEP soon and then I definitely plan to. 

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For me it was the awareness that the Condom Edict of the early eighties, that we thought was only going to last five years, was still in force thirty years later. Anti-retrovirals mean that I'm essentially non-infectious (I can't rule out the possibility of blips in my viral load, but a jump to infectious levels would most likely be accompanied by illness of some description: the normal blip is less than 100 points) and superinfection remains pretty much theoretical in that it happens about once a year in the entire world. So why the hell not? I couldn't think of a reason: I'd been BBing with other poz guys who I knew reasonably well since the late eighties, and loathe the sensation of rubbers (to me their only use is to deny a bottom the cum he wants as a punishment). ED makes it rare for me to fuck as the standard remedies don't work or give me all the side effects and none of the fun, so I'm more likely to end up getting my ass filled. Shit, but I've missed that sensation!

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I found out I was poz in 2002. I then used to chat in the poz room in Gay.com. I met online a guy who was poz and we became good chat friends. He talked about barebacking and convinced me that was the way to go. At some point I met a local guy through the same chatroom and we eventually hooked up. The first time I fucked him it was amazing and I was hooked on bb sex since. I still keep up with my internet chat friend even though I have never met him in person.

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My sex life began in the early 80s, so I originally had bareback sex because that was all any gay man had. By the mid to late 80s, I was scared enough to start using condoms. For a long time I was very insistent about only playing safe.

 

Then in 1992 a trick who knew exactly what he was doing ate my hole until I was just a puddle and slipped into me bare for the first time in years. It felt so good. Even though I freaked and made him pull out and rubber up, the seed was planted. The guy became a regular fuckbuddy, and I soon was taking him bare and taking the load. Then I started talking other fuckbuddies into going bare because it felt so much better. I still used condoms some for a few more years, but by the mid 90s, I just was going bare all the time. 

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I started due to an accident. I stacked my mountain bike collecting the handle bars right in the junk causing a penile thrombosis. I now can't wear a condom without a level of boner killing discomfort. I've embraced the options left available to me. 

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I'm kind of like you. I started with exes and a few random hookups on accident, but after a while I realized I hated being fucked with a condom because it didn't feel good, there was too much friction, and not of the good kind. Then one night I went home with a guy and it was the best sex I'd ever had and I begged him to cum up my ass. From there on out it was just a matter of starting to deliberate not use condoms when I was getting fucked. 

 

I still haven't turned into a full cumdump, but I'm hoping to go on PrEP soon and then I definitely plan to. 

 

Ding ding. I used condoms the first few years I was sexually active. Then I was in a relationship and had sex without one, and I realized how much better it felt.  From there, I usually topped bare, regardless of if I was in a relationship or not, but would bottom with condoms outside of my relationship.  Then PrEP came along... Now its open season regardless of activity.  

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Ding ding. I used condoms the first few years I was sexually active. Then I was in a relationship and had sex without one, and I realized how much better it felt.  From there, I usually topped bare, regardless of if I was in a relationship or not, but would bottom with condoms outside of my relationship.  Then PrEP came along... Now its open season regardless of activity.  

 

You guys have any advice on getting on prep without insurance or discreetly somehow?  I am still on my family's insurance plan and if they find out I'm on prep they'll freak out.  How does it show up on insurance statements?  Is there a way I can make it discreet?

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Had played around with dildos and vibrators and even fingers before ever being fucked.  First fuck was raw and think actually the first 4 or 5 were and then had a condom used on me and hated them.  Probably have not had a condom used on me more than half a dozen times at max and they always feel bad.   Raw is the only way to go.

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You guys have any advice on getting on prep without insurance or discreetly somehow?  I am still on my family's insurance plan and if they find out I'm on prep they'll freak out.  How does it show up on insurance statements?  Is there a way I can make it discreet?

I would ask yourself this question, would they freak out more over truvada as a preventative thing, or if they found out you were HIV+  

 

Also insurance companies don't willingly share info, diagnosis, or medication info without your consent.  Even to your parents, as long as you are over 18, which you should be if you are on here. 

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I would ask yourself this question, would they freak out more over truvada as a preventative thing, or if they found out you were HIV+  

 

Also insurance companies don't willingly share info, diagnosis, or medication info without your consent.  Even to your parents, as long as you are over 18, which you should be if you are on here. 

Thanks a lot that's all really great advice.  And I actually honestly didn't know that about insurance companies.  Since they handle it all I wasn't sure what showed up on it.  And yeah I am haha.  

 

Thanks again I really appreciate it.

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Thanks a lot that's all really great advice.  And I actually honestly didn't know that about insurance companies.  Since they handle it all I wasn't sure what showed up on it.  And yeah I am haha.  

 

Thanks again I really appreciate it.

call the insurance company up you don't have to identify yourself to ask questions like can your parents see exactly what medication you were prescribed or had filled at the pharmacy.

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      He gazed at her gravity-defying, apparently always braless breasts. He cupped the lovely handfuls, swirled the nipples with his flat palms.
      She dimpled, kissed his nose. "I love boobs, too, and pussy."
      "I remember," he said softly, lovingly.
      She kissed him again. "This has been a dream come true for me. Thank you, kind sir, I am in your debt. Whatever fantasy you would like I shall grant thee." She giggled. "No matter how filthy!"
      "I have some naughty ones."
      "The naughtier, the better," she laughed. "I would love to take you to Lizzie Arnold's grave, but how about we go fuck on my office desk?"
      He thought: The woman is certainly straight up. "You can still do that?" he said.
      "You know I can keep going. Once is never enough."
      "Three times already."
      "Each time just makes me want it even more. I hate stopping until I am exhausted."
      "Never done that myself at work, in the office."
      "I gave you a blowjob."
      "I mean fuck."
      "Come on. You'll love it."
      Mike's pocket phone bleeped. Holding up a finger, he  dug into his pants, pulled out the phone and answered the call.
      "My pet," the voice on the phone snapped. "Mistress requires your presence."
      "Right now?" he blurted. His mouth dropped slightly, eyes searched Persephone's. Hers laughed.
      "You know our arrangement. Whatever you're doing, whoever you are with, wherever you are, stop trying to get into her pants and come to me at once. You are my sex slave and I have needs."
      He felt the blood run from his face as a nasty sense of guilt blossomed.
      "Go to her," Persephone mouthed, voiceless.
      "Mistress, I am on my way." He thumbed the phone off. "How would she know we've just done this?" Guilt exploded. He suppressed a shudder.
      Pesephone's tender fingertips slipped along his cheek. "She doesn't. She likes to imagine your situation. It's alright, love. I understand. Pity, as I see you've sprung up hard as a rock. She and I both do that to you, don't we? Don't feel bad, you have done nothing wrong and you won't need to tell her. Pull your pants back on and go." She reached down, briefly fingered the aching knob. He thought of taking this wonderful woman and giving her the same love as she had just gifted him. "Two of us in one day. Cool. Have fun with her."
      "I'm sorry. We shouldn't have done this."
      "Bullshit. Go, my love. I'll see you later. And stop worrying!"
      "You will be alright? I know you can do more."
      "No worries. I'm sure I can find someone and continue."
      Her words speared his soul. Someone else? But he understood her enormous desires, her sexual appetite that knew no limits. How could he possibly even consider he might be the only one.
      She hopped onto the dais, adjusted a control. Stars faded, uplights brightened the dome. The metal monster returned to hibernation.
      Just before the doors closed, framed by the open black leather coat, he glimpsed her beaming face, magnificent body, and upright powerful cock.

      ###
       
      Author's note: Persephone Jones and Mike were introduced in the stories "The Girls Come Out to Play" and "Gangbang His Virgin Arse", originally released on asstr in 2012 then in the ebook "Mistress J's Playthings" published later by Chimera Books under one of my pseudonyms, Athena Morgan. This modified scene is from the unpublished, much longer, fifth novella "Persephone's Secrets". If you liked this scene, if it turned you on, especially if it caused a throbbing wet response, I would love to hear from you! I can be contacted on athenamorgansbox at gmail dot com.
       
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