Discussion on Racism and Fetishizing from Spun BBC Worship

[drscorpio]

Moderator's Note: I am asking everyone to take deep breath and let the discussion calm down a bit. If that doesn't happen, the thread will be locked down. 

[muscmtl]

14 hours ago, Pig4Fucking said:

I imagine many women of Asian derivation have similar feelings about men of all races who reduce them to little sex minxes whose key  purpose in life is to be subservient and sexually pleasing to males.

Let's try something else

You a 90 yrs old gay man

A genie appears and give you 2 choices "I can make you a 25 yrs old gay man. You wanna be black or asian?"

What is your choice in this grndr/scruff world of ours?

 

[blackrobe]

22 hours ago, ellentonboy said:

You are catorgorizing white men. Get off your high horse.  You are generalizing all white men as if we worship black dick, we don't .  What you are saying is as offensive as saying all white men are in search of "BBC".  Sorry but you are wrong.

You are in error. 

There was no mention of white men in the post @taye made. I took it to be very broadly observed and not specific to any one group. I'd suggest it's worth some quiet reflection to understand why you felt it was a personal indictment of white men in general and you specifically. It's ironic that merely perceiving he was "categorizing" white men drew so much ire from you, but the objectification and dehumanization of black men as body parts and robbed of their complete humanity and uniqueness doesn't draw any understanding or empathy from you.

@taye related his experience and feelings about how he and other black men are treated. There is no rebuttal to that, his experience and feelings exist and are simply valid. 

[MascBeefyBubbleNYC]

16 hours ago, drscorpio said:

Moderator's Note: I am asking everyone to take deep breath and let the discussion calm down a bit. If that doesn't happen, the thread will be locked down. 

Why? Please don't. Granted, the comments here are not the norm, but isn't a bad place to be exposed to different people's perspectives. Two things to perhaps consider first:

1. Are our libidos so fragile that any serious discussion arising from our sexuality is an instant kill-joy? Mine is definitely robust enough to hear a thing or two that makes me think from a different perspective, and still bounce back,  probably better for the experience.

2. If this country, if our society, our community is ever to heal from the things that have been done in our name or from which we still benefit or which were done to us and upon which the world we now inhabit is based, if that's possible (and we all hope it somehow has to be) these are exactly the places that these conversations need to take place: everywhere, every single where. 

[drscorpio]

Moderator's Note: The discussion on the BBC Fetish and Racism sparked by a story in Chem Sex Stories has been spun off to this thread. This thread is  in General, so avoid mentioning anything about ChemSex. The rules about having a civil discussion still apply. 

 

[ArdmoreKimberly]

Mmmmm l love all types of men and have met some extremely nice men so far

💕

[Shotsfired]

I think fetishizing black men by using the term BBC or Black Cock not only leads to harmful stereotyping in stories that often portray black men as violent or wanting to cause pain with their mythologized penises, but its objectifying. Not to mention its yet another way white men are commodifying black bodies. 

All you have to do is think outside yourselves to see that. Hopefully most of you weren't aware.  Because if you were ...

Have any of you noticed the trend on personals and hook up sites where many black men are more and more refusing to put there sexual roles and penis size/pics on profiles. They aren't doing that because things are okay. 

Its not just this story.  Its the porn studios, video chats, and the level of racism, ageism and tokenism in the gay community in general. 

The results are pretty harmful. Its completey demoralizing for black bottoms who are often treated badly on dating and hook up sites. Puts a lot unearned rejection on black men with average to small genetalia. The black men who do have large penises often get relagated to being treated like objects or stable horses. The people, amazing individuals with their own unique personalities, experiences, gifts to offer are lost to the quest for giant dick. Its like straight society had the gold rush and gays have a dick rush. 

And I would like to thank the gentleman who shared the Asian American gay experience. It makes my skin crawl when a profile says "no Asians"  I think the rejection even causes internalized shame in many Asian men.  I introduced a Chinese American friend to my friend from Hong Kong.  My Chinese American friend thought I was trying to hook them up.  I wasn't.  I just thought I was introducing my friends to each other. My Chinese American friend said "I don't do sticky rice." I was pretty shocked.

Consent is the big issue. Another big issue is who is the beneficiary. I like a site called Black Men's Reign which is ran by and owned by a black man. If a BBC scenes are done by black owned studios, thats their choice,  but I don't like white studios and white directors to deem it okay for themselves to exploit a population. 

I am not upset at the author.  There are plenty of stories worse than that one on the site.  This one hit a a nerve by being less subtle.  I'm more upset at some of the tone death and automatically defiant and defensive comments by other white men on this thread. Its the standard reaction whites in America have to the victims of their both past and current commodification of minorty populations. Maybe its because the issues are so huge from Native Amercan genocide, slavery, segregation, Japanese Internment, Chinese exploitation by railroads, the villification of migrant farmworkers, and the absolute havoc the CIA has caused in South America and the Middle East, that its just easier for some white men to be triggered to rage (defense) instead of doing the hard work of making things equitable and healing old wounds. Rage in this case is an excuse not to acknowledge or address behaviors that have caused hurt. 

The LGBTQIA Community should maybe take a long hard look at their habit of putting so many labels on people that put them in boxes. And maybe we should acknowledge that black men are the experts in their own experience and we should put their well being above our jack off material.

And as a slut who's had more men from different races and ethicities than the United Nations, I can tell you there are big penises and small penises in every group.  

[Shotsfired]

On 8/30/2023 at 4:40 PM, ellentonboy said:

No, I am not missing the point at all.  That's your opinion and you don't know me personally, so don't attack me, got it?  BTW, don't quote me again, understand?

So when we discuss things, what are we doing? We are sharing our viewpoints. Our views are based on our opinions. 

We use the quote functions on the boards to provide context for other readers to let them know who we are responding to in the discussion group. 

I believe the community standards, rules of engagement, and permissions are all owned by Powertop and he has hired moderators to implement those rules. I with respect, remind you that we don't have any say in what tool another user uses with the tools provided. Plus, your original post what just a few inches above the quoted text. Is that rational? Did you regret your first post?

I feel the response was lacking in civility, out of proportion, and makes me question why you are taking a discussion that had been civil to this level. I hope you can use this experience when you calm down to re-examine why you felt such strong emotion or talk to a professional councilor who can help you look at those emotions and figure out where they are coming from. 

We are only here for a short time brother. Its not worth it. Rage does harm to the body when sustained. 

Edited September 1, 2023 by Shotsfired
Grammar. I statements

[Leatherman667]

I love all guys. As long as you have a cock, I love it. I especially love black guys, not only for their cock but for who they are. They are the best. 

[tallslenderguy]

i've often wondered about bias and stereotyping in the gay community. Being gay was my own personal awakening to the realities of bias, privilege, stereotyping, etc., because i got to experience those things first hand, even to the point of having them against my self.  No doubt, culture conditions, effects and influences  us and our behavior, often  without regard or consideration  of who and how we essentially are.  The results are complex and seem to affect us individually and as groups.

my personal take away and ongoing effort is to realize that i have conditioned attitudes, notions, bias.  Many (most?) of those are unconsciously accepted and acted and are scattered across all sorts of 'groups' like race, age, gender, occupation, to name a few.  i want to be aware because my personal moral ethic wants to be kind, love and respond to a person as they are, not as how i see them.  While we are all members of groups, (e.g., i'm gay and part of the gay culture, i'm white and part of white culture, i'm a nurse, and part of nurse culture),  we are all also individuals with infinite variation. i do not believe it's possible to respond accurately to individuals if we do not make the effort to see and hear them for who they are. i think part of that process involves seeing and acknowledging our own preconceived notions and being able to set them aside in deference to the individual. 

 

The human brain naturally groups people.  A search of scientific research on the topic provides a plethora of information on the topic.  Here's one such piece entitled: 

"Implicit stereotypes and the predictive brain: cognition and culture in “biased” person perception"

[think before following links] https://www.nature.com/articles/palcomms201786

 

[hntnhole]

37 minutes ago, tallslenderguy said:

i do not believe it's possible to respond accurately to individuals if we do not make the effort to see and hear them for who they are. i think part of that process involves seeing and acknowledging our own preconceived notions and being able to set them aside in deference to the individual. 

Beautifully conceived, and composed with uttermost grace.  I'm with you, 100%.

[Nude]

😍     We are all humans, some have nicer tan and softer skin than others.  Being a photographer working with RAW digital imagery also dated very dark tan men.  If we look closely, all humans are a shade of orangish brown.  Through many years of conditioning the human mind, there has been some kind of disconnect between the true colors of humans.  Get two pieces of paper, one black and one white, not a single human will match either shade if we look closely and think. 

If we all embrace each other, stop the labels, and help others understand we are all human without violence.  Many will say things I don't like, but I'm not going to blame them for my own personal emotions, because it's wrong.  I will speak up and state I didn't like it without throwing a temper tantrum.  Too many labels for too much control & conditioning! 

Run a few searches (is black a color?), and you find many of the answers are different.

World Atlas: When speaking in more technical terms from a scientific perspective, black is defined simply as a lack of light. Since it's impossible to see anything without light, we can't describe black as a color. According to this approach, what we perceive as black is not the actual black, but just a very dark hue.

Wikipedia:  Black is a racialized classification of people, usually a political and skin color-based category for specific populations with a mid- to dark brown complexion. Not all people considered "black" have dark skin; in certain countries, often in socially based systems of racial classification in the Western world, the term "black" is used to describe persons who are perceived as dark-skinned compared to other populations.  Talk about the bad education of the Western world! 

[muscmtl]

Lemme throw a wrench in the machine

Don't know if anyone's going to answer, and I understand if no one do.

Do gay black men with small dicks (SBC) suffer the same racism as gay black men with big dicks (BBC)?

[PervBugChaser]

It is true many black guys have big cocks. But I have seen some black guys have normal size or small cocks. 

The gay world is a cruel world. Most gay guys only like young, muscular guys with hung cocks. I understand it is personal preferences. However, what we can do is not to act like a racist asshole by adding "No Asians" in profiles. Image you are a black guy, and see someone's profile says "No blacks". What would you feel? You may say in profile "Prefer whites, blacks, latinos" instead of "No Asians".

I have some white FBs, and they all into Asians. Of course they are not exclusively playing with Asians only, but at least they have open minds. 

To answer the question above. If you have a choice to be a 25 yo man, you need to think where you are. If you are in Asia, maybe. you better choose to reborn as 25 yo Asian, instead of black. So nothing is set as rule. 

[ellentonboy]

I am going to accept everyone's opinion as just that - an opinion.  My intent was NEVER to insult anyone. However, I will leave it at that.  I can't win no matter what I post.  I am not a racist, nor have I ever been.  The comments to "calm down" are just insulting. However, I will be quiet, rather than ongoing posts gather the wrath of moderators.

So, I'll keep it at that.  But please don't refer to me as "brother" because I don't know you. Thank you.