tallslenderguy

I do encounter Tops who clearly state they have no interest in cock, touching or otherwise. i'm currently talking to 3 of them. Of course, i make it clear i'm total bottom and delineate what that means. 'Perhaps you don't encounter those particular Tops because you present as versatile and don't attract them. Maybe you don't get approached to get fucked as often because you post a dick pic and state you are versatile. And i'm guessing you have thought of this, you are good about qualifying bias and not being able to prove the postulation you make. Even ErowWired's pole is not really scientific, and the sampling, so far, is pretty small. i have been curious enough that i posted a penis pic on one of my more active profiles today. Didn't change any of my profile verbiage though, i still present as total bottom and do not want to attract men interested in cock. As far as i'm concerned, i still don't have a "cock,' though i'm not delusional, i know i have a penis. i was married 31 years (to a woman) because of religious conditioning. Trying to be in the top role all those years solidified in me that i'm at the far end of the bottom spectrum, i doubt all the discussion in the world is going to make me versatile or get me back into the mind set that i must offer, use or present my penis to/for anyone lol, so you haven't sold me on that one. i'm not looking for "casual sex," i'm looking to get fucked by a Top who wants to fuck me as much as i want to get fucked. i have turned down more than one versatile because i was not convinced THEY would be satisfied just fucking me. And i always ask/question any versatile guy who approaches me, point blank, if they are sure they would be satisfied just fucking a total bottom. i would truly rather go without than have casual or mechanical sex with a guy who i knew was just nominally into it, or worse, disappointed that ti don't flip.

i 'hear' frustration in many of your posts, frustration with Portland (Pdx) and frustration with men who identify as bottom or total bottom. That may be me inferring tone where there is none, so please set me straight... well, no, don't do that, how bout just clarify where i am mis-reading you if i am. my impression from reading your posts over time is that those of us who identify as total bottoms (and bottoms?) are simply making a choice, that all men are wired versatile, can and should choose that for the sake of the gay Community. Again, this may be totally or partly just me inferring, but i usually feel general disdain for total bottoms/total bottoms when i read your posts. i don't get the impression it's a purposeful effort on your part, just born out of what strikes me as your belief that bottoms are just making a selfish choice vs just trying to live authentically as they are? Am i right that you think all gay guys are really versatile and the position they choose is just choice? i am honestly not trying to put words in your mouth here, i'm just stating my perception, which i know could be way off. That said, i think your theory has a sort of sense to it, but i also think it's an over reach maybe colored by your own bias? i think of how long GH sex has been around. i've done GH sex a lot prior to the pandemic, and it's pretty clear cut. Offer cock or ass, the other person either wants it or not, not a lot of, if any, discussion. Not a lot of visual either, unless one puts their cock through the hole. Your posts do make me think and consider though. i have a FB who i adore, He's the Latino i usually write about in the "...your last load..." thread. He's always Topped me, He's never asked me to fuck Him. Lately He's wanted to suck on me though, even though He knows i'm not really wanting that. i let Him, and even give Him positive feed back when He's sucking me. Feels good enough to my body that i get hard, but i cannot imagine summing that way, it's just very mechanical for me. To me, mechanical sex is not sex, it lacks connection that is really important to me. If that was all i had with Him, i wouldn't hook with Him. So i have a mental work around where i'm okay with Him sucking me as long as He doesn't want to make me cum that way. The last couple of times He hasn't asked to suck me, and He told me once that He's "not a cum swallower." i'd find it hot if He just wanted to suck me to get me horny for Him and HIs cock, not to make me cum. So, i'm not opposed to being touched or sucked, it is more to do with why the guy is doing it. That's where one of your and another post got me thinking about this. i actually like being edged if the intent is just to make me horny, especially if the guy i'm with is making that clear. So i can get how a bottom, even a total bottom, can display a pic of his penis, even though for me (and apparently a lot of other bottoms) it's counter intuitive. sorry, this went long

i appreciate your response. i really get that i tend to want a more complex connection, not only with you, but with other men as well. i think your comment underlines my belief that all of our comments are examples of us all being individual and on a sexual spectrum. Sometimes we are close enough on that line to connect, intersect, other times we are not. If you were to read my profiles, not just on a dating site, but even on a hook up site they'd be longer and more detailed that the average profile. i present more of myself because i hope for more from a Man just His physical cock. Do i have the slutty whore side to me that just want's to get fucked by any man who wants to? Why yes, yes i do lol. But when i want that, i tend to go someplace where i can get it, and to me internet hook up sites do not meet that need. They used to for me. i think both me and online hook up have evolved though. Online has become an environ where many have discovered they can be assholes (not the good kind) and flakes, and those guys seem to really affect a quick hook up. So, i reserve online for the "i want a deeper connection" part of me. In that context, for me, a "dick pic" sends the wrong message because i am not just canvasing for a quick fuck where i will take whatever i can get. i do think my point is valid... for some on the spectrum. i also think the comments that evoked my further thought and consideration as valid as well. They may not represent how i am or feel, but they definitely represent part of the playing field where we all look to connect in one way our another.

About 10 minutes ago. Today was the last day of my rotation at work and it was a tough one. i was at the end of my shift and in a patients room and felt my phone vibrate. Didn't think anything about it, but when i got in my car 40 minutes later i saw it was my FB who had called. He usually texts and if i'm not available right then, He usually does something else. i don't usually hook on a work night, but i'm off tomorrow, and even though i'm exhausted, i'm also horny and wanting a Man inside of me. i have discovered that when i get a Mans cock and orgasm inside of me, i don't need to have one of my own. But if i go too long without having a Man and His orgasm inside of me, i end up breaking the tension of need by jacking off. i'm pretty sure i could go on indefinitely without having my own orgasm by receiving a Mans into me.... honestly, it's what i always crave, want. So even though i was horny and tired, i douched when i showered after getting home, and texted to my FB: "sorry i missed You, was at work." He texted back: "free by chance? please?" i was so glad, i'm grateful for Him. We are grateful of each other. He fucked me sweetly and hard and i feel so fucking good. Both horny and sated at the same time.

i don’t know which turns me on more, the mind reading or the desire to possess. …i’m going with possess, that gives me a deeply erotic wild feeling I can’t define

Reading through some of the responses has me thinking. i too get turned on by a Mans ass, even though i have no desire to penetrate or fuck it. So why couldn't the reverse be true? That a Top Man could get turned on my my penis and not want to touch it? Several mention Men coming right our and telling them they want to see a bottoms cock while they fuck them. i can see there's an angle with some Men who want it obvious that they are fucking a man, maybe even a dominance thing along the lines that: "yeah, we both are men, and both have cocks, but i'm the dominant One here because i'm doing the fucking." I.e., they want the visual and reminder of another man submitting to Their penetration and fucking... and that is a big part of what they are attracted to in the first place? Being able to dominate another man, not just fuck him?

More like devolution, I can’t imagine reveling in oral only, oral is foreplay to me

I have also encountered guys in the past who insisted on dick pics, yet claimed to be Top. I think it goes back to the spectrum reality that we are all on. That said, I haven’t but a penis pic on a hook up site for years. For me there’s an energy or aura associated with a Man who doesn’t think of me as having a “cock” that I am drawn to as much getting bred. If he shows interest in me having a “cock”, I have the wrong Top. Anonymous can get around those discussions, so no doubt I’ve been fucked by that kind of Top, but not consciously. If it becomes relational at all, if they want cock, I pass and wish them the best. I don’t begrudge anyone their want, I accept I’m not what every man wants, but I want to connect as deeply as I can, and I’m not being true to myself to pretend to have something that I don’t

You read my mind

To me if a bottom has a cock pic, they are more versatile or versatile bottom. I think it’s just part of the spectrum reality, some of us are total bottom and don’t want our penis touched, but there varying degrees of Top and bottom in between

idk, it mystifies me too. i've gotten to the place where i don't even think of myself, or feel like i have a "cock." i'm not deluded. i know i have a penis, but to me it's not a "cock" or "dick," because i am not wired to use it as such. i think of a "cock" as way more than a physical organ. i see it as part of a Man that He uses to penetrate, fuck, orgasm, inseminate, possess,__________, another with. i don't have one of those. i'm wired in a complimentary way for a Man, i e. i have a hole and place for Him and His cock. To express that visually, i often share this pic where i have my penis tucked. It's not as though i don't want what i have, it's just different. Though i am not a trans person, and have no desire to be a woman, sexually my organs are more like a woman's than a Mans. my penis is functionally more like a clitoris and my anus like a vagina. i don't use those words, they don't fit either, slang terms like "pussy" or "clitty" can work, depending on who is using them, but i don't have a "cock" or "dick."

He just drove off. First time with Him, we've been writing back and forth for awhile, and as a rarity, He only lives about 20 minutes away, which is close by small town internet standards. He's Bi and loves women, but loves to get His cock sucked... time will tell if His lust will evolve to include fucking my ass or not. i'm wired to get fucked first, wired to take cock anyway i can get it secondarily, so i was more than happy to be His cock sucker. His cock was perfect, not so big that i felt inadequate to pleasure Him, but big enough to go down my throat. It really was a fucking perfect cock. When i heard His breathing change and His cock swell that final bit before shooting, i took Him to the hilt and that made Him shoot as i rubbed the tip of His cock against the roof of my throat and caressed His balls wanting to give Him a full and complete climax. i typically wait till a Man gets that deer in the headlights look that tells me He's done climaxing, then i just hold His cock very still in my mouth so i can feel Him relax. When His cock is getting flaccid, there is always some seed left in His cock that naturally leaks into my mouth for me to swallow. Fuck, i'm happy.

Life is risky. We risk dying or getting brutally mangled every time we get in a car to go to the store. Perspective, eh? We rarely think about it, but lots of activities are risky. We risk getting an STD every time we have sex, but then, we risk getting a disease going to Walmart (especially Walmart). But there's social stigma attached to getting an STD, but not one for getting the flu from going to the store (except Walmart). We can't remove all risk, there are things we can do to reduce risk. i'm in the >1000 cocks club, most anonymous hook up. For years, my primary way of hooking was hosting at my house. i think that can reduce risk, being on familiar turf. if i feel off about someone, i don't do it... but that is really rare. i've only ever had one guy who tried to get a little rough with me (not in a way i perceived as 'good'), it was all body language. i resisted by more of an offensive vs defensive stance, and he chilled out instantly. i am a trained martial artist, so i can defend myself if i have to, but i have never felt that threatened in all my years of doing this (decades). i often do anonymous walk in and some guys are (reasonably) concerned about walking into a strangers house. That is easily solved on either side (host or visitor). i tell them i will put a note on the door that says: "this is the place." The morons who send you to a fake address aren't going to do that. When hosting, i'm always face down on my bed and naked, but i have my cell phone hidden and easily accessible.

i love how He kisses his back first. He'd own me after that

wow, i need that.

i think Your advice and input is sage... and the way You offer it, sigh, You are the quintessential Man/Top. While i love the mind fuck of a younger Top with an older bottom, there are practical issues to the dynamic. Even if a young Top/Dom has all the needs and desires of a Top/Dom, they do not necessarily have the experience and understanding that goes along with that (same with bottoms/subs). We're all in this together and anyone can learn anything from anyone if they are open. Being total bottom with some sub thrown in, i naturally want to give control to a Man, so there is always that push/pull between intellect and emotion. It helps when there is genuine care and affection, and that helps me override my own feelings and let Him be who and how He is. You are so right. i think any intimate interaction should be ensconced in "safety and warmth." You're talking about WS, right?

Sometimes when i've been wonderfully fucked and used by a Man, my hole stays conquered for awhile. i kept searching for a word to describe how i feel, both my hole and my psychological hole. When a Man is fucking me, it's as if my hole 'tries' to say taut vs stretched, even though in my mind, i want to open up for Him. The idea of Him helping open my hole is a huge turn one and alliance i have with Him. i love Him for opening me and leaving His signature or 'mark' on my hole. i feel a sort of pride in His ownership. i noticed after getting fucked today (the above quoted fuck), that my hole was staying opened more and had a sort of itchy, used feel that kept me turned on reminding me of His cock and how He used it to mold my hole. Just finished showering and noticed that unless i consciously clench and work to hold my lips in, they push out in a sort of 'defeat'... and it is keeping me really turned on loving How this Man opened and molded and sort of defeated my ownership of my hole and made it His own. Thought some would like to see it, so i just took a picture of my sweet Latino Tops mark on my hole.

Just left, my Latino FB. Was nearby and wanted to unload. i love a Tops spontaneous desire to cum. i never want a Man to have to masturbate when i have a hole that craves Him. i've gotten pretty good at prepping fast, took me 5 minutes and He was waiting in my driveway. Fuck yeah. No sucking this time, He just wanted to fuck. Think it only took Him 10 minutes and this time i felt His shoot... which i fucking love. i love feeling the contractions at the base of His cock as He spasms His seed deep inside of me. i'm having the best weekend, love being full of a Mans seed. fuck, i feel awesome, can barely walk straight... which is probably appropriate for a bottom with a full, gaped hole.

Well, i don't ever want to presume on You <3. His being Latino and having to possibly wrestle with machismo conditioning occurred to me too. As an aside, romance brings my submissive side out and bravado, force, etc., shuts it down. He often kisses my back, neck and shoulders in between slamming me hard with HIs cock, and the kisses probably conquer me as much as His driving His cock into me hard... idk, both open and conquer me, the combination has double the effect of tethering a desire in me to give Him ownership. i don't know how well He understands how much He brings the sub out in me, but i sure don't hide it. i have this vid He took while fucking me and i was surprised by all the sounds coming out of me lol. my sense when He said He's not a "cum swallower" wasn't that He had an aversion to the idea, but maybe to the taste? idk, He washes His mouth out after sucking me. With me, i don't relish the taste of cum, i crave the idea of His seed in me, and all that goes along with it getting there. It's the idea and lust behind a Man putting His seed in me that evokes my need for It/Him, so i see us as very different. But He's also comparatively new at this, and i've had enough experience to know who and how i am. if He does end up wanting me to cum from my penis, i'll suggest He find someone else for that desire, i don't want to give Him something fake. If He ends up needing/wanting that, i want Him to have it from someone who also needs/wants it so He can have the full experience. Time will tell probably.

Thank You for responding to that post, i was hoping You would ❤️ i had similar questions as two why He wanted to suck me. i tried to get it out of Him, i don't want Him to feel awkward or cornered by my queries. He either doesn't understand where i'm coming from, or He is too shy to be vulnerable and open about how He feels? idk. my sense is that He really enjoys sucking on a penis... and maybe He wishes it was a cock? i don't know if it extends to Him wanting to give me pleasure or make me cum. He asked to suck it to help Him get hard and said He enjoys doing it. The fact that He said He's "not a cum swallower" at least gives me a little more feed back and helps me still be real since i don't have thoughts that He wants to make me cum. There'd be an extra mind fuck connection for me if He was purposely wanting to make me horny without cumming, but i don't get that vibe from Him. i've thought of inviting a third, though i don't really have a list or even a single guy to choose from. Partly, i'm reluctant to share Him, fears of losing Him if He likes the other guy better. The way i am wired is i do like to take multiple cocks, but one at a time. Even my fantasies of being whored out usually revolve around one Man orchestrating it for His pleasure. In that sense, for me all the men He is using to breed me for His pleasure are under His control, and its His lust/need that i connect to.

i don't perceive myself as having a particularly fine ass... kind of a boys ass, not one of those incredible bubble butts that many Men seem to sport (and drive me crazy). Had a neighbor i Louisville who had one of those "David" replica statues in their front yard, i was always tempted to turn it so the ass was facing the street. The ass on Him is mesmerizing. i started going to the gym about 9 months ago and have been going every other day and doing what i call my "skinny white boy routine." The first machine i do is the glut extension, and i can tell the difference after 9 months, which makes me feel pretty good. i sometimes handle it in bed at night to see if i can feel a difference, and it's definitely rounder and firmer now. ideally? i want an ass that screams "breed me" to Men who are wired to do so. Even though i do not have the emotional disposition to "show off," i don't honestly feel i have the kind of ass one can show off, but that does not keep me from presenting. i'll do that when ever i perceive a Man may have an inkling of interest or desire, and sometimes even when i don't perceive it from them, but am feeling heat for Them.

Bout 10 minutes ago, my sweet Latino FB... We talked some today, more than we ever have, i think He's shy, which when i think about it, so was i at 26. We realized we've been fucking for a couple of years now, but it's been a lot more frequent the last half year, often couple times a week. We're just really right and comfortable and natural with each other, "Fuck Buddies " is an apt term for us. There's a definite affection there, but not lovers or anything along that line. Lately He's been wanting to suck me first, and i was worried because i'm at the extreme end of total bottom and do not perceive myself as having a "cock" and it feels fake to be treated like i do. i'm not delusional, i know i have a penis, but sexually it's not a cock... probably closer to being like a clitoris than a cock, though i shy away at that word too because i have no desire to be a woman... i feel like i'm a cross between the two, idk, no real point of reference for it. But i like Him, and He's inexperienced and so i let Him suck my penis lately because He wanted to. Today i broached two topics that i've wanted understanding between us, and it went well. i explained to Him that i don't usually get my penis sucked or touched and that i do not like a Man to make me cum that way, that the only way i that feels natural for me to get my penis touched is if the Man is using it just to make me horny, not to make me cum. He told me He didn't think He is a cum swallower, and i told Him that's perfect for me since i don't want to cum that way. He just likes to suck, which i don't relate to at all because i love to suck because of the pleasure it gives a Man who loves to get sucked, but the way it is, it seems He's pretty close to the ideal of just sucking to get me horny, though He doesn't seem to have a mind fuck personality. The other thing i was able to talk about was Him continuing to fuck after He cums. i have had the feeling that He keeps fucking because He thinks that's what i want. He's BI. i was married to a woman for a long time and i trained myself early on with a woman never to cum until she had. i explained to Him that i'm not like a woman that i don't care about having my own orgasm, that having Him have His orgasm in me (among other things) is what i want/need, and whether it takes Him a minute or a half hour, what i crave is Him having pleasure the whole time, and when He is done, i'm done. in my experience with a woman, i wasn't done until she was pleasured, so it's totally opposite. He's pretty quiet, so i'm not sure how much He grasped or believed what i told Him, but i felt really good being able to put it in the open, i hope it will free Him to be completely Himself with me, because it's the real connection that matters so much to me, there's nothing like that sweet connection when both completely love the fuck and are not having to be something or someone they are not, just a match where each others need/desire naturally feeds the others. What we have is pretty basic and simple, but it is profoundly intense and satisfying for both of us. lol, sorry for the long story... this thread is sort of a fuck journal for me sometimes. ❤️

i get pleasure from small cocks from the pleasure the Top has using it with me. For me there are a lot of layers to sex, the physical is one of those layers of course, and i would not diminish that. On the other hand, just as important, and maybe more so to me is the connection of mutual desire. For me, a defining attribute of a Top is not His penis, but His 'cock.' i see that as way more than a physical organ. i have a penis, about 7.5 inches and a little above average girth, but i don't have what i perceive as a "cock" because i do not have the drive, need, desire to penetrate, fuck, orgasm and breed with it. And i connect to all of those things with a Man/Top. i've received smaller than 3 inch cocks with a Man, one was a FB for awhile, and He ended up possessing me as Top because i connected and bonded with all those other parts of His cock, and that was/is "pleasure."

i didn't have sex with Men, or otherwise, at that age... religion for me too. But i knew about it and was super frustrated because i wanted it soooooo badly. i read "City of Night" by John Rechy when i was 13. i was living in L.A. and the book is about a hustler coming to grips with being gay in Los Angeles. All the areas He wrote about were familiar to me. i used to sit in restroom stalls for hours reading the notes on the walls and listening to guys in the other stalls to see if they were like me, wanting sex. i knew about it, masturbated thinking of Men all the time, but didn't actually have sex with a Man till i was 27. i did make up for it though 😉

It depends. if i'm wanting multiple cocks one after the other, neither. Like others have noted, the flake factor is huge with either scenario. i go to an ABS if i am wanting multiple cocks. i find lunch or quitting time are best for Men wanting a quick nutt on the way home from work or at lunch time. If i am wanting quality over quantity, home with a fuck buddy. Once you know Someone, and they you, there's trust and kinks can be explored, or not, but at least you don't have to deal with flakes.