tallslenderguy

To me this topic is way too big and complex for me to come to a simple, absolute conclusion. i do have some thoughts, but wouldn't want to come off as arguing from a conclusive general position, this is just my personal, individual thoughts/feelings (some may be kinda out there lol, like the first one below). i wonder about the Chinese population (in China). For many years, the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) dictated to the Chinese people that they could only have one child. One of the awful results was male children were valued more than female. According to Encyclopedia Britannica: "The one-child policy produced consequences beyond the goal of reducing populationgrowth. Most notably, the country’s overall sex ratio became skewed toward males—roughly between 3 and 4 percent more males than females." [think before following links] https://www.britannica.com/topic/one-child-policy i wonder if the Chinese gay population is more Top heavy as a result? i'm on one dating site that is a bit more relationship than hook up oriented (for a gay site), and there are Chinese guys living in China on the site (using a VPN). Those i've encountered, looking at profiles or being looked at, have almost all been top? That's obviously purely subjective info, but it got me thinking, if we only apply supply and demand notions, and consider the bisexual male population of China, there may be more Tops in China than bottoms. For the pedants among us, yeah, i know this is not scientific, it's just a thought to add to the mix, not an argued conclusion on my part. my point is, there can be lots of complex factors that can affect the number of tops or bottoms in a population. For a versatile to conclude something along the line that total bottoms are just selfish assholes, strikes me as divisive and a problem, not part of a solution. i've heard that notion before, but never heard a versatile (i.e. the kind who make the universal judgement that all men are really like them: versatile) proffer that: "all Total Tops are just selfish assholes." This attitude makes me think of my time spent in the cultural fundamentalist ideals prison where i was conditioned to believe all people are heterosexual. It seems particularly ego centric and 'selfish' to me to dismiss an entire population who identify as "bottom." i think reality is, anyone can be a selfish asshole, whether they be Top, bottom, versatile, gay, straight, Bi, Trans, ad infinitum. Ones sexual identity doesn't make them selfish. Those guys running around at ABS or sex clubs, closing doors and trying to divert attention away from others could be versatile, bottom, or even Top. To me, whatever their sexual identity, they prove themselves to be "selfish assholes," by their attitude and behavior. When i encounter such people, i typically just leave the venue. i don't want to be around people like that. Even at my horniest, i'm not so desperate that i would want to steal or thwart an opportunity to fuck or get fucked from another guy. i do not think much about the Top/bottom ratio, but more about the gay population in general. i live in a smallish town with a smaller gay population. i travel to a larger city or a place with a larger gay population if i want multiple guys to fuck me, and never leave disappointed. i have come to a place in my life where sex is more about quality than quantity. i confess, both can be hard to find, but i also have discovered (about myself) that when i am getting quality connection with a Man, i don't need the same quantity, and the ratio of Tops:bottoms becomes less of an issue for me.

Just left... He wanted me to suck Him first, which when a Man enjoys and gets obvious pleasure, i get mesmerized and am all over Him. i love receiving a Man into me, and when He is into it, it's perfection. i loved making love to Him via His Cock, it's the only way i feel i can be sorta on top and giving Him pleasure. i have His Cock scent all over my face, which is a bonus of sucking a Mans Cock, i get my face marked with His scent. He can do that with His piss and cum, but that feels really wasteful to me, and i always crave to swellow all that, but His Cock, Balls and Crotch scent? Fuck, i lick and kiss and suck and rub my face between His Cock, Balls and Thighs (fuck, i love a Mans thghs) and i'm in heaven. Then He moans and growls and says: "I wanna fuck you," and He proceeds to tune my ass inside out with His Cock. He touches and holds my body in His hands, kisses my back, arms and shoulders, spanks my ass and pounds the hell out of me, breeds and possesses me. fuck

i think it's a great question. For me it's not a matter of random or FB, but about connecting mutual desire and need. i think one of the ruts we can fall into with a partner or ongoing FB is we start fucking our memory instead of the person. We get a collection of memories and then form a picture of who the person is and how the experience will be, positive and negative memories can set up expectations of a similar great encounter or concerns of a not so great time. With a random stranger all we have is our projected desire, but how often does that turn out as we want or expect? Personally, i've come to feel we don't get what we want/need because we don't communicate very well as part of the process of finding a sex partner. i find few guys who know what they want/need, or more likely, are afraid to open up about it. Instead we have boxes we can check that identify generic stuff and homogenize a very individual and person act.

To me where most gay film struggles is presenting gays as men vs men who happen to be gay. Or maybe i struggle with unconsciously expecting a film that fits my expectations instead of someone presenting their ideas and thoughts? The film hit notes for me, but the whole concert didn't resonate, but then, that's true about any movie (except Princess Bride). i did appreciate the efforts at being real, awkward, contradictory. i think the film made a decent exposure of how one may find they are not the person they think they are, especially when feeling the vulnerability of wanting and wanting to be wanted.

Every other day. i practiced martial artsfor 25 years, then switched to Bikram Yoga when i injured my knee doing a jumping axe kick and landed wrong. Divorced, moved and went back to school and became a nurse, and didn't do anything for a few years. Started going to the gym about 14 months ago. i'm a group/social exerciser, so i didn't think i'd stay with it, but have been surprised that i'm now in the habit of going every other day. i do what i call "my skinny white boy routine." i'm not interested in having big muscles, i just want to be toned and have some definition, shape. Okay, the glut extension is always my first machine lol, secretly (no longe lol) i want an ass that screams: "BREED ME." my gym? About 2/3 guys, maybe 1/3 women? maybe more 75/25? As for how many are gay? idk, i wish i could tell, i definitely get a lot from the eye candy.

A few months ago, i was approached by this young college student on Squirt. He was from the middle east, a culture that kills faggots. He was shy and new and wanting to get fucked. He struck me as a sort of 'babe in the woods' and i feared for him and his first experience, i didn't want someone inexperienced just ramming in and him having a bad first experience (rolls eyes at self). Hey, i love guys, and my heart went out to him. i could relate to his need. So, while explaining that i am 'total bottom,' i offered to be his first. i was nervous as fuck. i hadn't penetrated a person with my penis since getting divorced from a woman in 2008. i had to take Viagra to ensure i could even get it up, i'm not a fucker or top. i did manage to get erect, but penetrating him was hard because he was so tight. Normal tightness from lack of use. i suppose if i had the drive and desire of a top, it would have been easier, but i kept going to soft because he was so tight. Not only was getting in difficult, but so was staying in. It was like his hole was always pushing me out. Again, i can imagine some tops liking the idea of conquering such a hole, but to me it was uninviting, unreceptive and more of a challenge than a fuck. He ended up cumming very fast and i really never got fully in, nor did i really fuck him, more ike a couple of partial insertions.

A little different take on this. For me, this is gets into mind fuck... which i love, and i know i'm not alone in this. To me, this is about control, seduction. i think we can experience both without violating a persons volition. Of course, i cannot fathom not receiving a Mans seed into me. Hell, once i have it, i don't want to let it back out. i'll cramp and clench to hold it in. i think it's part of a lot off bottoms nature to want/need to be controlled and seduced, taken, possessed, ad infinitum lol. i also think it's part of a lot of Tops natures to have corresponding desires/needs to control, seduce, take, possess, ad infinitum. One way i can experience all of these is by sharing one orgasm, the Tops. i.e., i don't have an orgasm of my own, but instead get my orgasm from Him. It can use some of the techniques some have described, like sucking or stimulating a bottoms penis to make him really horny, but then not giving him the release of his own orgasm, but Top replaces the bottoms orgasm with His. To me, You don't even have to be devious about it if You really tap into a lot of bottoms nature, You can condition a bottom to crave Your orgasm and seed and be disappointed if he has his own orgasm and not Yours. idk, this is one idea, i've got others, but to me it's got a lot of the same Top/bottom psychology behind it. Honestly, there are things that are very arousing to me and appealing about these Men getting a bottom to take Their seed, so i look for what is behind it without violating a persons trust or volition.

my Sweet Latinon FB just left. Was a surprise visit, although it's always spontaneous. But 0930 on a Monday morning was not even on my radar. Was walking out the door to go have a late breakfast on a non work day for me, and my phones starts buzzing and His ID comes up. He told me He had a break in 30 minutes and asked if i could be ready... i look at my watch and my only concern is being prepped in time for Him... i always want Him. So i scramble out of my clothes and into the shower to clean out, and worried i would not be ready in time. i fear for the time i'm just to fast and miss something, i don't want Him to experience anything but pleasure and release. Not altruistic lol, it's just that all my pleasure is connected and dependent on my Tops, i'd rather go without sex if the desire and pleasure is not mutual. He was on break, so it was a quick breed. i've gotten the impression before that He cums fast, and usually multiple times. i have never minded a fast cummer, to me that just emphasizes a Mans desire, which is awesome to me. Still, He keeps fucking after He comes, and i'm never sure if He is doing it for me or Him? Like He feels like He has to give me a longer fuck? i've told Him in a subtle way before that it doesn't matter to me how long He takes, not sure He feels that way on His own though. He left happy and sated, and i feel nothing but high and happy as well. To me, mutually desired/needed breeding with a Man has nothing to do with time, it can be 30 seconds or 30 minutes, as long as it's real, i get pregnant from Him.

Never hooked with a Guy from BB here in Oregon. i live in a smallish town, 60k. i imagine it's more active in Portland, seems to be when i check it out, though i have never used it while in Portland. i used it while on vacation in Ft Lauderdale FL and got decent response.

At work. i changed careers about 10 years ago from executive management to critical care nurse. i have experienced being fucked in my office when a VP, but never at the hospital where i work and am around so many sexy Men. When i was a VP, i used to cruse a restroom at a busy mall near my office on lunch break. There was a Guy who would breed me on a regular basis under a stall wall there. One day, unknown to me, He followed me after and found out where i worked. my office was a corner office on the second floor with floor to ceiling glass on the outer walls, looking out over the parking lot. He started leaving notes on my car to meet Him in the first floor restroom and He'd breed me under the stall wall there. It got to where He'd park where He knew i could see His car from my office and He'd go into the restroom and wait for me, i'd go down stairs and get in the stall next to His, He'd slide His legs and Cock under the wall with spit on His Cock and i'd straddle Him and receive His Cock and Seed. Still want that at the hospital where i work, but it's less likely, way too busy.

Ditto pretty much every response here... but then, this is BZ lol. i don't think one can disconnect the physical from the psychological. We can be unaware, but i don't think it's possible to have 'just physical' sex. Using a condom, whether required by Top or bottom, means someone is holding back, that giving into fear and compromise is part of the event. For me, sex is about the connection between me and the Man i am with and a condom is a (purposeful) impediment to connection. To me, it's a contradiction. As an aside, i think we can also wear psychological/emotional 'condoms,' and that the best sex is when we manage to be open and vulnerable with each other and totally connect in the moment.

Bout 10 minutes ago, my Sweet Latino FB. Was out weeding in the garden when He called... and i heed the call of nature. Damn, i'm so full of cum right now, probably am not going to do a very good weeding. i feel like a rag doll, He's a muscle stud and it's like getting fucked by a semi truck, and at the same time He kisses my back and shoulders... fucking drives me wild. He fucks me till i am limp and pliant, wide open. i feel fucking awesome.

A perpetual wet spot on the back of my easy access shorts with dried cum on my inner thighs.

lol, Yeah, i tend to feel the same way. But cognitively i'm going to try to grasp where this Guy is coming from. i see a distinction between the act and the person performing the act. I.e., "...placing your dick inside another male's ass," as i see it, is a decided bi or gay act, but i'm not as decided on the person being bi or gay. To me, feelings, emotional dispositions, are not so easy to qualify or substantiate.

This is a fascinating topic to me. There's arguments on both sides when it comes to attraction, i.e., that it's a biologically ingrained response vs culturally conditioned. It's definitely culturally manipulated, eh? To me, that's the primary crux, or influence, when it comes to the stigma that becomes associated with body appearance. As an aside, we are beginning to understand that the main cause of "obesity" is not the affected person, but the food industry. "Tobacco conglomerates that used colors, flavors and marketing techniques to entice children as future smokers transferred these same strategies to sweetened beverages when they bought food and drinks companies starting in 1963, according to a study by researchers at UC San Francisco. The study, which draws from a cache of previously secret documents from the tobacco industry that is part of the UCSF Industry Documents Library tracked the acquisition and subsequent marketing campaigns of sweetened drink brands by two leading tobacco companies: R.J. Reynolds and Philip Morris. It found that as tobacco was facing increased scrutiny from health authorities, its executives transferred the same products and tactics to peddle soft drinks. The study publishes March 14, 2019, in the BMJ." [think before following links] https://tobacco.ucsf.edu/cigarette-giants-bought-food-companies-used-cartoon-characters-colors-flavors-boost-sales-sweetened-beverages

Here's a link, i checked out tension springs for a hammock or porch swing, which would be simimilar (actually more) weight than a sling holding one person distributed between four points vs 2 points on a swing or hammock that might hold 2 people. [think before following links] [think before following links] https://www.amazon.com/s?k=tension+springs+for+porch+swing&crid=2066CUN7B395B&sprefix=tension+springs+for+porch+swing%2Caps%2C159&ref=nb_sb_noss edit: if it was me, i'd go for a closed loop at the end of the spring vs the open hook in your pic, more secure in my mind.

yep. "Absolute" identities seem to work better (socially) with cars than they do with sexuality.

my mind went here too, i.e., what if it were reverse? my story is all over BZ, came from a conservative religious culture and tried to be straight for half my life, blah, blah, blah. i appeared to function as a straight guy, married, fucked a woman (a lot), made babies, etc.. But i was never straight. After i divorced, i thought i might be Bi, based on the 'evidence' lol. i dated a woman who was a PhD and a professor of women's studies, visiting prof from Germany. She was good looking, intelligent and engaging. She also was lesbian... but had recently found she wanted to be with a man. She told me that she was a leader in the lesbian community in Germany, and if many in that community knew she was pursuing a relationship with a man, she would be ostracized. She wanted sex with me, and even though i had lots of experience fucking a woman, i didn't want it. All the right stuff was there for me, but i realized i really am "gay," not bi. That was 15 years ago. my former wife is the only woman i have ever had sex with. i also dated a trans person during that period (FtM). To this day i am not able to fully understand, but that didn't work for me either, even beyond the obvious that this person did not have a penis. Cognitively i accepted them as male, but beyond the physical, there was something/s about them that 'felt' female to me. They perceived their self as having a 'cock' of sorts (they fisted), and by my definition of "cock" they had more cock than i do, even though i have a penis-because they have the drive to penetrate. But that's my perception, i realize that's individual on my part. Ultimately though, we simply were not compatible.

Great topic Bottom Jim, thanks for posting. When i think about this question, my mind goes back to the spectrum theory of human sexuality. Looking at the big picture, there are no two people alike, but we can and do fall into general groups (in this case e.g., straight, gay, bi, etc..). We use labels when it comes to communication, e.g., i self identify as "gay total bottom with some sub thrown in." i use my label to try and present who and how i am sexually, in a general sense, but if someone is going to really connect with me, we're gonna have to talk and listen to each other. i put that identifier out there routinely, yet frequently have guys approach me who want to suck my 'cock.' If we talk, and they listen, they'll come to realize i do not perceive myself as having a "cock." lol, yeah, i know. i'm not self deluded, i realize i have a penis. i'm not wired trans, i don't want to lose my penis or have it wacked off... i like having one and it feels good physically to touch it, i just don't relate to it as a "cock." i see a "cock" as a part a Man Who is Top has and wants to use it to penetrate others with for infinite and individual reasons. That's just one of many examples of how my label/self identifier term may mean something different to me than it does to someone else. i think our labels are important and necessary, a vital piece of communication. i believe where we often get messed up with communication is with listening. The referenced "straight" guy may be deluded, idk, but on the other hand i think it's important to listen and hear him (or anyone). There's a reason he is saying he is straight, there is something he wants the person he says that to to see, to grasp. Granted, he may not even know what that "something" is, but he is putting it out there and i think it's better for the listener to try and hear what he is saying vs. only taking their perspective as reality. There's two perceptions in the room, and both are real. i too would perceive this guy as "bi" from my perspective, but i can also accept that he sees himself as straight... and since it's him we are talking about, i'll accept his label over my own. i don't feel like i have to discard my perception/label, but i also don't want to impose my perception/label on him. It's okay for him to see and label himself differently than i do, and he owns his identity, i don't.

Just left... my Sweet Latino Fuck Buddy. Damn, He's built, One of those Guys you see at the gym Who has muscle everywhere. It had been awhile, He got a second job so works more, He just got off work and wanted to breed before He had to go to His second job. Fucked me really hard, mauled my ass, spanked it, spat in my hole. Fuck, i love Him, i'm so fortunate to get repeatedly bred by Him... i'm definitely His addicted whore, i go through withdrawals when He doesn't dose me regularly. He's always more than perfect. i've got that wonderful almost came feeling, was so close coming hands free a couple of times. Almost like a 'ruined orgasm,' which i love when a Man gives me that, nothing makes me happier than a Mans Orgasm and Seed inside of me.... my own orgasms just disappoint me, i love that edgy feeling of contented hunger, it makes me continue to feel connected.

Here's a new study on the topic of Doxy as a prophylactic intervention for STD's. "The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention is drafting recommendations for using it as a kind of morning-after pill for preventing STDs, said Dr. Leandro Mena, director of the agency’s STD prevention division. The drug is already used to treat a range of infections. A study published last week in the New England Journal of Medicine showed its potential to prevent sexually transmitted infections. In the study, about 500 gay men, bisexual men and transgender women in Seattle and San Francisco with previous sexually transmitted infections took one doxycycline pill within 72 hours of unprotected sex. Those who took the pills were about 90% less likely to get chlamydia, about 80% less likely to get syphilis, and more than 50% less likely to get gonorrhea compared with people who did not take the pills after sex, the researchers found." [think before following links] https://www.oregonlive.com/health/2023/04/this-inexpensive-pill-might-fight-skyrocketing-sexually-transmitted-infections.html?utm_source=ground.news&utm_medium=referral

This alone would be huge progress, removing the (evil!!) manipulative algorithms that are ultimately divisive and antisocial would be a major step in the evolution of social media.

i had just turned 21, and it was given to another virgin... a woman. my story is all over BZ, conservative religious conditioning influenced my decision to marry a woman. Even though i knew i am attracted to males from an early age, i was conditioned to believe/feel that i was "sick, broken," and that hetero was the only acceptable form of sex. So, i lost my virginity with a woman. if she had had any questions about whether i was virgin, our first wedding night experience would have pretty much confirmed my virginity. i missed the first time. Yep, totally missed. I.e., i literally didn't get my penis in her vagina lol. It was dark, we were under covers and i was lying on top of her. Didn't take me long to orgasm, but essentially, i humped her. i remember thinking it didn't feel like i thought it would. She gently explained after that i had not gotten in, and she ended up on top for the first real sex between us. Which was probably a good thing since i was ignorant and didn't realize she needed to be opened, she was virgin and my girth is a bit more than average. Six years later, i had my first sex with a Man... i sucked Him off and swallowed every drop of His seed. After that, there was no putting the proverbial cat back in the bag, though i tried. Enough details to fill a book, and i'll spare BZ that ponderous tome. But i do not think that had i had 'lost my virginity' with a Man first, that i would have gone a different way. my conditioning that being attracted to Men was both "sick and sinful" was so strong and pervasive, i think i would have just felt ashamed and guilty and still tried to be straight. i honestly did not think/feel/believe gay was a real/honest option. After my first experience just sucking cock, which happened while i was married, i went home a told my wife (third time revealing this) that "i am gay and we need to separate." And we did, for 5 months or so, but it didn't stick. Guilt and shame on my part got us back together. It took me half my life to get free of the religious conditioning and accept who and how i am. i was having anonymous sex on the DL the entire time, fighting it the whole time. i was miserable with the lies and deception, but thought i was missing something, the 'key' to being able to resist my desires for a Man, that i was just a failure. Sex with Men didn't alter the conditioned response of guilt and shame. What did, was finally realizing that my beliefs were not in line with reality, that it wasn't me who was 'wrong' but my beliefs. i suspect had i had sex prior, and just made my decision to be with Men based on that, i would never have processed and seen through the religious conditioning... i would have just been sort of rebelling against it without understanding. Even though it seemed to take way to long for me to 'get it,' once i did, it was complete and thorough. It was instant peace after a lifetime of torture, and that has not changed to this day. i don't know if it's better this way, since i didn't go about it the other way, but i tend to feel the cost was worth the understanding i got out of it.

i've been having sex with men for 40 years (thousands of encounters) and i'd estimate 95% has been anonymous. Is it "the thrill of anonymous"? i honestly don't know, but i suspect not. Connecting with a Mans sexual want/need feeds my sexual want/need. For me, sex is ideally a symbiotic connection. The more elements to that connection, the better. i think a lot of us practicing 'anonymous' sex have just gotten so good at it that we've refined and streamlined the process lol, but i think we still may be extracting things from the experience that can also be had in an ongoing relationship of some sort. i don't purposely limit sex to anonymous, but lacking a standard relationship where i can get sex anytime, anonymous has become the default. i think there are plusses and minuses to both. i don't think there is such a thing as a relationship where one person can meet all of another persons needs, sexual or otherwise, so a lot of guys in ltr go to an open relationship where they get some important desires/needs met with one person, and supplement that relationship with guys on the side and it works for them. i don't think there is a one type relationship that fits all needs, that the social standard has foisted on people, i think we are all individuals and all relationship is better custom made than us trying to fit reality into a standard mold. Personally? i a combination of both works for me. i have one FB who i write about often in the "last load" thread. Lately, He breeds me a couple of times a week, and we've been fucking for about three years now. There are periods where He'll go a couple of weeks without any contact (He always initiates), and i will wonder if He has grown bored or tired of sex with me... but then, back He comes for more. i think what often happens with an ongoing relationship is having sex without mutual desire. With anonymous sex, mutual desire is pretty much guaranteed, otherwise it doesn't happen (how often do we discuss 'flakes' here?). Even at a sex club or ABS, Men pick and choose based on Their desire.. i think bottoms often take Whoever wants them, not because we do not have particular likes or taste, but because, for many, the desire/need to be fucked and bred supersedes any others ("refined"). i also see yin/Yang as a real force, especially for those who are wired on the extreme ends of the spectrum (i.e., Total Top on one end, total bottom on the other). i think there is a difference between being in control or controlled and independence/dependence. In my experience, the Top position is usually the One in charge, in control, and the bottom position is usually the submissive and controlled position. It's an opposites attracting and connecting dynamic. i think what is often (dis)missed is that both are dependent on the other's desire/need to achieve and maintain that full on expression of lust/need that attracts us to each other.

Over time, my hole has become more of a slash for fucking/receiving than an asshole for retaining and expelling. Getting to a place where i can take any Cock has been an opening process over the years. But that's just part of it. The anus is made to dilate, i think the problem most have is to much to fast. A lotta Tops know how to open Their bottom as part of the fuck, others are oblivious, and others still don't care. Most of us bottoms want to receive a Man, no matter which of those categories He may fall into. For me, a Man's need and desire to penetrate, fuck and seed me supersedes any skill level He may or may not have. If He doesn't have the knowledge or inclination to open me, i open myself. i had one FB in Virginia Who wasn't particularly long, but His girth was exceptional (to say the least). He also had a passion/lust that pushed all sorts of my buttons and opened me wide psychologically, so He was gonna get me one way or another. After the first fuck, part of me demurred the next time He wanted to breed me. He liked to go right in without any preamble, and it was honestly painful till i could finally open from His fucking and presence inside of me. He had the kind of Cock and demeanor that can make me come hands free. i learned early on, as soon as He would contact me, to plug myself and begin the opening process. That fixed it for me. He still opened me, but He was not too much too soon after that because i was already partly opened to receive Him. We had lots of babies together. 🙂