tallslenderguy

i wondered some of this stuff as well: Is the guy being fucked married to a woman or a man? Are they in an open relationship? None of that is stated. If he is cheating and lying, he may already have that eating at him, or maybe he's ignorant and thinks he can cheat and still avoid the STD risk? Who knows, there's lots of guys out there who really act on that notion. Our sex drive is a strong thing. Also, gay relationships can be different, i've had more than a few long term FB's who i fell for in a sense, even if it didn't qualify as a standardly defined relationship, it was still a relationship i valued on an emotional level. my own belief is, lying and deception make for a fake relationship, or at least a partial, fragmented one. i do not think it is right, let alone worth it. To me, every time we lie about who we are, and subsequently cheat, we are what is wrong with society. We can only control our self, i don't know anyone who values being lied to or cheated, i sure don't, so it makes sense to me not to be that person. Anyone here who knows my story knows i was in a religious web for many years, married to a woman and cheated with Men, i felt rotten every time i cheated and hated myself for it. It cost me everything to become an honest person, but it's so worth it. It sucks feeling rejected, or not even considered because i put "undetectable" in all my online profiles, but to me, it beats the alternative.

But... Had You lied and you were both still having sex, things would be different than they have been. You would always know/have known that the man You were breeding wasn't accepting You into himself, but some 'sanitized' version of what 'should' be vs what is, I.e, what You had would have been false, a lie, vs true.

Nah... i think You are right to live honestly. Sex is one of the most intimate connections two people can have, lying about who and how You are takes that element away. This guy is now having to face who and how he is and decide if he wants reality and honesty or some Disney notion. Risk is part of the equation of human connection, denying that or lying about it doesn't make it less so. i would not rule him out yet. he may just be facing reality for the first time and wrestling with this. It's possible that he will end up missing and wanting what you two have and growing and changing as a result, becoming more honest and real vs living and acting in denial about the risks involved in living as a man with his particular needs and wants.

i don't know if you so much "need guidance" on how to do this as possibly whether or not you really want to. LAMO at hungry_hole's suggestion of an eHarmony account. Following the implied idea of a "cumdump" is a cum dumpster. A dumpster or trash can is not choosy or selective, Oh sure, there are those recycling bins that try to get users to only deposit select refuse, but those aren't really dumpsters, eh? i think being a cum dumpster is more a state of mind than a methodology. Honestly, i think the term "dump" doesn't really fit because i think a Mans seed is precious stuff, and my read of most bottoms is they feel similarly. i've picked more than a few used condoms off the floor at seedy fuck joints and emptied their contents into my hole. i cringe at porn or the idea of a Man spilling His seed on the outside of a warm bottom. What a fucking waste (literally lol). That said, there's lots on this site about being an 'ethical slut.' To me, that involves getting on PreP if you're neg, or staying undetectable and on meds if you are poz. And, otherwise, getting checked routinely for STD's . To me, it is neither negative or irresponsible to have sex, that's a cultural construct used to control. The notion of "making sure ppl are negative" is part of that construct. The only person you can make sure is negative is you. If society fostered that attitude instead of trying to control everyone else, STD's would not be stigmatized and would likely be less. We can catch a disease going to the grocery store or using a public drinking fountain, but there is no stigma attached to shopping or getting a drink of water. Sex? Not so much.

Probably many of us here would say you haven't had complete sex when you used condoms. To me, sex with a condom is foreplay at best. From my perspective, restricting sex with condoms is 'doomed." You say: "i never bb...." To my way of thinking, this is the first time you've had sex (i.e., when you barebacked).

Ha, that goes along with the essence of what i feel perfectly. it makes a perfect, hot sense to me that mine goes soft when i have a Man's hard 'tool' inside of me... yet another expression of oneness in a yin/Yang dynamic.

i get rock hard when a Man wants to fuck and breed me. If he shows any interest in my penis, it goes soft. If He shows desire for my hole, it gets hard. Whlle getting fucked just physically, it goes soft. While getting mind fucked, it gets hard. i have a meter, not a 'tool.'

Your country seems to be gay friendly on paper, but the culture doesn't seem to have evolved to that ideal. Once you are finished with your medical education, have you considered moving to a more gay friendly place? There was a doctor where i work. i realized i had not seen him for a few months and then came back to work one day an she was back. She had transitioned (mtf) and worked at the hospital where she had been known as a male for several years. She was accepted... people bent over backwards to show acceptance, and those who did not, kept silent. Being in an environment where you feel compelled to hide is "harm." If your friend is gay, it seems evident to me that even though he is 12 years older and established, he still may not feel safe enough to be 'uncloseted.' i do not think your question is 'why you feel like this." You're gay and attracted to men. The challenge seems more that you don't feel free to express who and how you are. i don't think that all has to do with being gay. Straight people also risk rejection when expressing their feelings, but that don't have the added layer or potential stigma of being gay.

We have a few things in common. i too work on healthcare, i'm a critical care nurse in a teaching hospital. Despite being in a position that is stereotyped as "gay" (i.e., male nurse), most of the male nurses i know and work with art straight. sigh. If feels like i have been flirted with from more than a few residents though (probably wishful thinking on my part). i have been hit on by a few women doctors and nurses though. They are always surprised when i tell them i'm gay. i've been at this hospital for 8 years, you'd think it would have gotten around by now that: "paul is gay," but apparently not. The truth is, if one is not obviously (or what is stereotyped as) gay, people will not truly know unless we tell them. i imagine, in part, women do not feel threatened by gay men like they might straight men. I.e., they never have to worry about us only being interested in them so we can get into their panties. Not to say that is "the" reason, but maybe 'a' reason? Gay people grow up in a heteronormative world. Heteronormativity is like an iceberg, some of it floats on the surface and is seen, some of it below the surface, unseen, but it is still there. You have been culturally conditioned (we all have, straights, gays, etc., etc.) But straights don't usually question those things, instead, they call that "normal." Which is part of that below the surface iceberg. Our notions of "normal," right and "wrong" are often culturally conditioned from an early age. Reality it, you do have "a big secret." It's sad you have reasons for that, but you do have a secret that is "big" to you and would be to others as well. That is still a social reality, eh? Yeah, maybe, but we don't know unless we ask, eh? For instance, how do you see your friend? i'm assuming he is single? Not with a woman? If you see yourself as suspiciously "asexual" or "the closeted gay" as a "forever" thing at age 24, how much more so at age 36? Yeah, sorry, i don't mean to come off as one who doesn't use descriptors. i'm grateful for them and use those terms as part of communication all the time. i identify as a "gay, total bottom with some sub thrown in." And, i can trace all those elements back as young as age 7 (retrospectively). So, i'd have to raise my hand when talking about people who's sexuality has remained the same their whole life. It's grown, changed, become more complex, but the basics are the same. It would seem both of you have deep reasons for having this kind of attraction. To me, deep emotional needs/wants are the basis of what are commonly called "kinks." i do think a lot of people manage to disconnect their need/want from their conscious mind, sort of disconnecting their need/want from their "kink" (which to me is a normative term used to label those who are different than the 'norm'). I.e., we have a need/want that we've been conditioned to see as abnormal, because it's different. Yeah, no risk or vulnerablity in that, is there? And i do not think it odd that you are more "intrigued about him letting [you] know him better." The more you know his deep stuff, the more vulnerable he becomes. The less he knows about your deep stuff, the less vulnerable you are. i have this ongoing fantasy that gets transferred from Man to Man over the years. Him meeting me in some hallway and pushing me up against a wall and kissing me passionately. And you can find similar fantasies all over BZ. It's not unusual for us to want to be known and wanted without all the risk that seems to usually accompany getting there. xx

i've taken more anonymous cock than not, often am face down when being penetrated and fucked. my guess is, under those circumstances, no one would be able to tell the difference in cocks. It's the idea with all the baggage that comes with it that makes the difference, not the actual "black dick." When it comes to sex, i have no desire to be the "first" for anyone.

i don't believe you are "overthinking." You're a gay man in a less than accepting world. Just because there are laws that protect gays, and 'things are changing,' does not mean there won't always be people who have some degree of dislike, or even hate, for gay people. Maybe some gay people have only gay friends because they want to feel free to be who they are without the concerns or fears that can be there in general society where there's a mix of everything. You can "just be" you, but that will always come with risks and rewards. That's true about everyone, to some degree, eh? The question is not whether or not you can be you, the question is whether you are willing to take the risk of being open? Conversely, when we hide who we are, we are paying the cost of being unknown, invisible to some degree. i doubt it's "just" you. i think most men are sexual. Just because you're gay doesn't mean that changes, just mean the direction your sex drive takes is towards men instead of women. i think your feeling are perfectly natural, after all, you are gay. Speculating, i subscribe to the spectrum idea of human sexuality, so as much as it might make it simpler if we could just identify everyone in nice neat categories like "gay, straight, bi, etc.," the reality is, there are infinite variations of human sexuality. He has already told you he likes the dad/son relationship. When you pointed out the age difference, he changed it to big/little brother. Both of those are pretty common kinks, and whether or not it ventures into being gay, you already know you both like that. As 'tough' as he likes to be, if he is gay, he (so far) hasn't taken the risk of telling you. And you have not taken the risk of telling him. A universal truth is, when it comes to risk, it's not uncommon for people to want someone else to go first. It's called "being vulnerable" for a reason.

A few minutes ago.Some real advantages to hosting a regular FB at home. my sweet Latino Muscle Top FB. He's doesn't talk much, or share what He likes, so i have to guess, don't wanna make Him feel awkward. Last time He was here i wore a pair of net open back panty things, idk, another FB got them for me, but it definitely brought some animal out in Him. Not one to wear stuff like that on my own, but will definitely wear it if my Top likes it. His profile on the site where we met says He likes panties and lingerie, so i dug a pair of black lace panties out of a drawer where i've collected such things. Not wanting to impede penetration, i cut a slit in the back. He sorta growled when He came in and i was ready and was ass up as always, wearing them. He had no trouble getting in... never does, i'm pretty accessable, but wow, it really brought the beast out in Him He was kissing me all over my back, which drives me wild, and He was pounding me like He was trying to get the tip of His cock to come out of my mouth. He spanked me quite a bit and ended up tearing the back out of the panties and mauling my ass. Fuck, He is the sweetest fucker, He never gets old. Pretty sure i have about a gallon of pre cum in me, He always leaves me sloppy, but i can feel the slippery feel of His seed when i move my legs. Fucking awesome. the panties brought the machismo out in Him, after He was telling em how the women He fucks are half my size, but He still conquers my hole and leaves me marked.

Getting shingles is how i learned i am HIV poz. It wasn't a fun disease, and for me was probably opportunistic related to my compromised immune system because of HIV. It took about 6 weeks to resolve and was hard to diagnose. At first the suspicion was appendicitis, or some intestinal issue because of the symptoms. i eventually developed a rash, but it was minimal, just a few spots. i got on HIV meds immediately and once i became undetectable, my immune system butyl back up and i have not had and issue since. There is a lot of ignorance about vaccines. To me, especially after becoming a nurse, they are the best medicine we have in healthcare. Vaccines waken and employ the bodies immune response vs other interventions where we directly try to kill the disease with a drug. Our bodies are the smartest doctor we will ever have. The drugs we use to directly combat a disease have side effects and are an after the fact response we use once we are sick. Vaccines are preventative medicine.

i don't think any relationship should be based on a static rule. Life is fluid. Which is not to say i don't believe in guiding principles or that i have anything against monogamy. i think if it happens, it should happen because both parties are continually wanting it, not because a rule was made that both now have to obey and force the relationship into. Open, honest communication, to me, is a better foundation for relationship than a rule like monogamy. Lying and cheating often happens because of broken rules, rules that one found at some point they didn't want to, or couldn't keep, for myriad reasons. There's a part of me that likes the idea of monogamy, but when i look at it more closely, it's not so much monogamy that appeals to me, but factors associatied with monogamy. E.g., long term connection with one person with the incumbent opportunities for deeper relationship. But that is something that can be had with a FB.

found this on Amazon [think before following links] https://www.amazon.com/Digital-Camouflage-Cotton-Military-Fabric/dp/B06XXJFDN3/ref=sr_1_7?keywords=Army+Camo+Fabric&qid=1668864274&sr=8-7

Since i made it up, probably most people would have no clue about it.

i'm only one person, and there are lots of views scattered on BZ regarding this topic. With that preface.... To me, it depends on whether or not the woman you are in relationship with knows and your relationship is open. As a formerly married guy (to a woman), i don't recommend cheating and lying. my own story is all over this site, but the short version is i grew up religious, and while i knew from an early age that i am attracted to Men, i didn't accept that and tried to change and be straight, Didn't work. i'm not even Bi, i'm full on total bottom gay lol. What helped me finally accept that fact was years of trying to not have sex or attraction to Men. i was married 5 years before i had my first sex with a Man. i separated after, thinking, this is how i am. But it wasn't that easy for me and 6 months later i got back with my wife thinking i had "gotten it our of my system." Nope, this is a part of me and i learned through a lot of hard times that i literally need to be with a Man. That's me. i know Bi people who can pull it off with just one person and seem to be content and fulfilled, but i'm not Bi, so that was never an option for me. Thing is, i cheated and lied to have sex with Men. i spent a hugh portion of my life on the DL. my story is not uncommon, religion has hurt a lot of gay guys, i'm just one of them. Your reasons are Your own and ultimately only You can answer this question. i hated myself every time i had sex with a Man when i was married. i hated the lies and the cheating. It ate away at me like cancer. While i was having sex, it was sweet because i needed that connection with a Man, but how i was getting it was destructive to me, my former wife and our relationship. i don't recommend doing that for what seems obvious reasons (i.e., lying and cheating). If, on the other hand, You are doing this openly and honestly... Hell yeah!! There is obviously a part of You that needs/wants to breed a man and there is nothing wrong with that, it is a part of Who and how You are. Sadly, You too are likely victim of cultural standards, but You do not have to be. Personally, i would recommend You do this in a way that You can be true and honest and get the full benefit of being and exercising Who You are. i know, that has a price, but in my experience, it is well worth it. i approached my former wife about an open relationship, she was religious and it was a hard "no" from her. Frankly, i told her of my attraction to Men before we married, but at that time we both thought that was a choice one could make, and that sex between two men was "sin." We divorced in 2008, and it was like a huge weight was lifted. i had peace for the first time in my life, and that has not changed to this day. i love my freedom to be who and how i am and would not ever go back or trade that for a situation where i have to lie or cheat to get what i need. i wish You the best, that cock deserves a bottoms hole.

i think there's a lot of good answers here, i particularly ditto steve-tmq that you: "...already know the answer." At least in part? You wrote a whole list of reasons why you are attracted to and obsessed with getting fucked BB. Couple more thoughts. i think a lot of the reasons behind asking in the first place is because our form of sex violates the heteronormative standards that most follow and have been conditioned by, so people who are different from those standards can end up with the question: asking why i am attracted and obsessed in this way vs why the attraction and obsession exists. i think ErosWired and atlfukbud have some good answers for that. Straights may investigate the latter question, but they never feel challenged to explain their attraction or obsession to the opposite gender like gays are. Pain. The truth is, it can be painful for a woman to get fucked. Especially the first time, they often bleed. But a women's vagina has to be opened too. Regular sex fixes that for most. Personally, i cannot remember the last time i felt pain from being penetrated by a Man. Even my first time was not painful, but by the time i received my first cock, i had already been penetrating and opening myself with pretty much everything i could find lol. One could argue that an asshole is better equipped in some ways to receive cock. What comes out is not far from cock sized and similarly shaped, the hole dilates naturally to create a passage. A woman's vagina gets 'wrecked' when she has a baby, but unlike the asshole, that's not a daily, livelong occurrence like a BM is for most. Mess. All sex organs have a dual function of 'waste' removal. Every 21 days or so, a woman's body has what could be compared to a BM, a 7 day, 24 hour 'movement' of her uterus as it sheds and bleeds and is removed from her body by her body. Some straight guys will fuck 'dirty' and some gay guys will fuck 'dirty.' Women douche, gay guys who receive cock douche. Another conditioned response is the notion that sex is about procreation. Religious cultures have used that one to control people since the beginning of civilization it seems. i think it's safe to say that people who have sex just to make a baby are in a tiny minority, straight, gay or otherwise. Even the scientific notions of survival of the species is speculative. Sure, pleasure contributes to our survival, but there is no actual proof that sexual pleasure is just as important as the baby it may produce. We certainly have a lot of natural examples of other animals having 'gay' sex.

i made "haunting" up as an extrapolation on ghosting.

Delusional? lol, maybe. Fortunately i've got a wee bit of crust and experience. i did write him today and laid it out to him about the ghosting and haunting. He sent me a note back apologizing for taking so long to get back and saying he is interested, but in the process of moving and will write a detailed response. drumroll.... No, not holding my breath. Now that i have a response, i can at least settle in my mind that he was just inconsiderate. I.e., it prolly took all of 30 seconds to write that, why did he wait 9 days? How come he has time to look at my profile, but still didn't take the time to say something to me? Really no excuse, i mean it's not like his grandmother died. i'm being transparent writing this thread, but i'm not a wounded bird lying in the corner or pining for him as though he is other than he has been. The core off my original thread is really the curiosity of someone who not only would ghost someone... pretty common internet fare, but then continues to 'haunt' by visiting the profile, but still not saying anything. i suspect that is not uncommon either. It's like the internet caters to a whole segment of people and i wonder what these people would be doing without the internet? Would they be more apt to exercise polite social skills? Are they the shy people who can't bring theirslves to speak with someone they're interested in? The majority of guys i see, even on relationship oriented sites, don't have a profile of any substance, yet they claim to be looking for relationship. It's so strange to me that they seem to think that will happen without any effort on their part, that somehow someone will just magically intuit enough about them to make first contact, then work their ass off trying to get them to say something besides "i like long walks on the beach." i mean, is that code for i will not live inland? sorry.

Last night. my regular FB. He had contacted me on Monday, and i was at work and was not able to. He contacted me again yesterday afternoon and i was at a meeting and had forgotten my phone. After the meeting i went to the gym to do my skinny white boy routine, and His message popped up on my watch. i texted back and told Him i'd be home at 7 and we agreed to meet then. At 650, i got a message that something came up and He couldn't come then, but maybe later. He ended up coming by at 815 pm. This guy is a sweet, young (25?) Latino Muscle Jock. Not sure about Him, but i definitely have developed affection for Who and how He is as a person. He has this sweet, unassuming, almost shy demeanor. He softly and affectionately touches me and kisses my neck and shoulders with similar energy. Yet, when He gets going, He also spanks my ass. What's not to love? But He is soooo quiet. He never talks about His sexual desires or fantasies. i have even tried writing to Him about that stuff on the hookup site where we met, He never responds to what i wrote, so idk. He does say a few specific things on His profile, not much, but that He likes lingerie (not for Himself), so i put on a pair of open back lace panties last night that another Man who likes that gave me. i am always laying naked, face down and presenting when He comes in my opened back door, and He commented when He saw them: "ah, you put on some nice undies." That was all He said. He's normally a physically passionate Fucker, if not vocal, but He was obviously ramped up, even for Him. i almost came (my penis is never touched) a couple of times from His hard, slamming fucking. i had a very gaped, sloppy hole after, and His seed went deep, past the 'second' hole, which doesn't always happen with Him, so i was able to absorb all His seed last night. i'm not naturally, or probably more accurately, independently fem. Honestly, i don't think i am "fem' at all, but i do get turned on by a Top who sees me that way, or Who gets off on feminizing me in a way? Who thinks of and treats my hole as a pussy, who doesn't see me as having a 'cock.' i won't 'act' like a 'gurl,' it's just not me, it's more a kind of mind fuck of Him treating and seeing me that way, brings something other out of me. He was obviously turned on, and that connected to something in me. Yet another beautiful fuck, but it always is.

i think that's a good point, a person can indeed be objectified and comes with accessories that a inanimate object lacks. Many want that on both sides of this equation. i too believe that many, if not most?, of our psychosexual needs/desires have deep, primal roots. i think one of he reasons i personally despise 'role play' is because i think it disguises or hampers seeing, and possibly understanding, the real source or reasons behind what we do. Not that i feel the need to always understand. i don't understand why i am gay, for instance, but that does not hamper my acceptance or exercise of it. To me, part of the adventure, joy, benefit, ________, of connecting with another human being is the opportunity of discovery, learning and knowing both them and my self, so i am for seeing and knowing behind the mask, even if one chooses to still wear one. i think it's correct to at least suspect culturally ingrained behaviors, especially where they may be destructive instead of creative. i think cultural conditioning has created fear in us that if we see and accept ourselves for who we are, we will somehow lose that, or have to give it up, so we accept the cultural definitions that at least acknowledge some part of us. A lot of our perceptions of sexuality have a blend of observations from (other) animals. For instance, animals use sex to assert order and position in the pack. A difference i see is choice. Physically, i can Top. i can "play" the dominant "role" and pull it off in a way that gets me seen and accepted as such. i was married to a woman for much of my life, produced a couple of sons. i was always 'top' in that relationship. Psychosexually? It didn't work, even though socially that is how i performed and how i was perceived. For me it was "role play" of a sort, based on ingrained cultural conditioning and following a culturally conditioned script. i do not perceive a dog, for instance, choosing the bottom role . i do not see him being able to role play being alpha, but i think humans can and do do that in many instances. How many bottoms have expressed having jobs of authority and dominant position, yet sexually they want to give up control. One variation. Being a total bottom, i do not feel inferior or less than a Top, yet i LOVE the feeling of another Man being in control and dominating me sexually... but not in any way like a top. I.e., being a bottom for me is about being a receiver and container of a Top Mans need/desire to penetrate me with Himself and leave a part of Himself in a space in me that wants/needs Him. To me, it is a more basic expression of nature, like negatively, positively or neutral ions that attract and bond.

Yeah, i am hyper aware of spammers. They do not usually give their emails, just ask for yours. He intimated on the gay site, and i responded there and by email. Thinking, as you did, that my emails may have gone to spam i wrote him on the dating site stating as much. He has not responded to my emails or my notes on the gay site, but still keeps visiting my profile. Pretty confident he's not a spammer. i just sent him another note asking him why he hasn't responded and yet keeps visiting my profile. He's visited 2x today? We'll see if he responds. my fear is, he'll just be to embarrassed and continue on. Not really anything to do about it, eh? my intent i posting was not to focus on this particular person, just use it as an example of "ghosting" and "haunting".

i have an account on a couple of gay sites i deem as more relationship vs just hook-up sites. i'm far from traditional when it comes to relationship, not looking to emulate heteronormative approach to relationship and not looking to marry. That said, i would like to have a significant other of some sort, so i have profiles on a couple of sites purportedly more geared to relationship... whatever form that may take, but more than a one night, anonymous hook-up. Most of us have experienced ghosting. For me, the most hurtful ghosting happens on this kind of site. i don't spend much time trying to hook on the aps, mostly because of flakes and ghosts, just not worth it to me. What hurts more deeply though is when someone on a dating site initiates something with me, then ghosts me. i have really detailed profiles on those sites to begin with, so most of the guys who initiate with me typically have a good idea of who they are initiating with, usually much more than what they offer in their own profile. They're out there, but Guys who have self knowledge and willingly share some of that beyond being "nice, eating out, hiking and walks on the beach" in Their profile, are rare. So there's usually an imbalance of info to start with. i recently was contacted by a guy on one of these sites. He has a short, but better than average profile. He also initiated contact with more than three words, even more than three sentences. He also didn't live half a world away, just an hour, which is pretty good by internet standards lol. He gave me his email, and i gave mine to him. So i wrote him an email answering his initiating note, and a bit more. And... nothing. i didn't say anything new that was not already in my profile, if anything, i affirmed his note and what he was looking for. Nothing (been 2 weeks now). That's the ghosting part, and while my hopes were stepped on with all the usual feelings, i was moving away from them. Then, recently, he has been visiting my profile on the dating site. Still not saying a word or responding to my emails, but now he is a ghost who is haunting me lol. Sigh. WTF?!? He seemed to be an intelligent guy. i can only speculate, but i don't think he's just using my profile to jack off lol... though there are a couple of vids on my profile one could do that with. His profile says he's looking for more. i want to believe guys like this are not lying, they are just ignorant, immature (or a combination of both), and are ill equipped to have a relationship of any significance? i want to believe most of the guys who do this are not purposefully hurtful, that they are just ignorant or lazy, or both. Part of me wants to write this guy and explain the effect he has had and is having, i.e., educate the ignorant? On the other hand, i fear i might just be opening myself to more offensive behavior if his ego can't handle the truth. Mostly, i am just venting and opening discussion on the topic, with the now added "haunting" element. Seems a variation on stalking, but doesn't seem the same to me, i mean, how does a ghost stalk? (rolls eyes at life)

i've bottomed my hole life and have never experienced a mess. It's not so much the "mess" i worry about, but turning off the Man i'm with, or worse, disgusting Him. For me, the accompanying desire/needs of both are what's important, so i want to avoid anything that interferes with that. The implication of the OP is that an unclean hole is creating a disconnect between this Guy and His boyfriend, i'd hate that. i wonder if the bottom senses what the Top is feeling? i have a FB who is similarly inexperienced, but Top. If He is telling the truth, i'm the only guy He fucks. He's Bi and has a girl friend. Despite my attempts at explaining, He clearly has little to no idea what a bottom has to do to prepare. He does rinse the smell of sex off in my shower before returning to His straight life, so He always sees the shower shot in my shower, used prior to His visit. Thing is, He is spontaneous. He's been breeding me for a couple of years now and our hook-ups always are pretty instant. He texts: "free rn" (i.e., free right now), and only lives 15 minutes away. Lately, He's even closer and wants to breed. He will text me all hours of the day, sometimes 2x a day. He'll go a few days and nothing, then several in a row. i have no idea when He's going to text or want to fuck... which is natural of course. Thing is, His perception is He can pretty much get it whenever, all a Top has to do is stick it in, no real prep required. If an 'accident' is going to happen, it'll prolly be with Him lol. i scramble to get ready so i can accommodate His desire, and so far, it's been fine. A few times i've had some trapped water, but been clean. The truth is though there have been times when i just ate or don't want to have to do a rush or instant clean out, and we both miss out as a result. When two guys end up living together, the realities of prep are harder to disguise. i have fantasized of having a Top BF Who's lust is greater than His squeamish response, the He would fuck me when He wants/needs no matter what, and would be happy with that, it would be freeing for both. i have never seen a gay romantic movie where the topic of clean out is ever even alluded to, just tow guys having dinner at a restaurant, going home and passionately fucking as soon as the door closes when they get home. Right... i'll go a whole day without eating in anticipation of possibly being fucked, so He can have a clean hole, but really because i want Him to fully love what He is doing and getting.