tallslenderguy

I appreciate the question and am following. i'm interested to see what Tops have to say in response. To me, Total Top means no penetration as all, doesn't receive cock orally or anally. And yeah, i know, a tongue is not a cock... but to me, psychologically, anything a Top wants to penetrate me with becomes His Cock. i know, weird, but it's how i feel. So i do not rim, to me that's penetration and a form of Topping. Just me, i don't think this is some sort of universal truth lol, but i am curious to see what other's have to say.

The poster also made a point of saying he is Asian... so (apparently) the "magic" was double. 😉

Personally, i like to have sex where both parties are considered, Top and bottom. Not everyone feels this way, so the first thing to determine is how you feel about this? i'm total bottom with some sub thrown in, so if a Man wants to fuck and breed me, i want to be fucked and bred by him. my ideal Top is a Man who gets into opening me and molding me to His cock as much as He gets into fucking and breeding me. i.e., it's not a one sided proposition for Him, not all about Him, but about us. Being in control can be self centered or considerate. Personally? a Top is going to penetrate and seed a whole lot more of me if He is the type who likes to open His bottom. i connect physical and psychological 'opening." But again, that's me (and apparently more than a few Tops), Having said that, it's not always a cut and dried scenario, especially in hook up sex. i had one Top FB who contacted me frequently wanting to breed me. Any Top who wants repeat breeding with me has already taken a certain amount of possession of me lol. This guy didn't have a particularly long Cock, but the girth was substantial. He was a breed and go kind of Top and did not take time to open me... or enough time to adequately open me. He wasn't mean about it, He just wanted to breed... and i wanted Him. The second time He contacted me, i hesitated, made an excuse because it had hurt the first time with Him (and i am not a neophyte lol). But i regretted putting Him off, so i got to the place where when He contacted me i'd open myself with a plug before He got to my house. That fixed it. Would i have rather He be the kind of Top who likes opening His bottom? Yeah, but He had me still, and i didn't want to say no, so i accommodated Him.

Yeah, it does read like you are falling for this guy. i'm not going to repeat what some others have said, of course, there are practical things to consider... but, it feels pretty great eh? To me, the feeling of falling for someone, whether it gets returned or not, is pretty special and sort of magical. It can be analyzed and discussed up one side and down the other, but i think there will always be elements of mystery when it comes to the feelings you describe. i hope you get to keep the feelings and that they are returned in some way, or at least acknowledged and respected. Even if the guy is straight and doesn't want a romantic relationship with you, if he has some maturity, he can still respect your feelings. And even if he has a girlfriend, there are more than a few Bi people out there in open relationships, so one never knows till they know. It's the 21st century, this guy is educated and as a ER doctor has been exposed to a lot of diversity, i'd be surprised if he would be offended if you shared how you feel. You don't have to come on to him to tell him you are interested, it would be just you being open and honest about who you are and how you feel. Yes, that is risky, but being open and vulnerable for the chance/potential of connection and bonding always carries risk. i wish you the best.

i have been around drugs my whole life. When i was 14, my older sister and her best friend adopted me as a sort of mascot. They took me to parties where everyone was 18-25 and they were all getting stoned. Lots of grass, mushrooms, peyote, hash. LSD, They offered, but i never partook. Watching them all when they were stoned, just wasn't interested. To this day i have never been stoned or drunk. i too have been interested in some of the described effects, but in my experience, those taking the drug look very different from what they describe. Especially those tweaking on meth. To me, it's hard to differentiate between a tweaker and someone having a schizophrenic episode, except tweakers seem more extreme. As a critical care nurse, we always have someone on the unit for meth. It's usually one of two things, they have blown out their brain and have altered mental status (AMS) that they just don't come back from, of partly recover from. The most frequent is congestive heart failure (CHF). Very common that when we do an echocardiogram on their heart, it has an ejection fraction (EF) of 15-25% (normal is 55-65%). 20% is around transplant level, but they do not qualify because of the meth use. Others who are shooting it often have sepsis as well, often get vegetative grown on their heart valves, again ofter blowing out their heart. Obviously people use it and do not end up in the hospital, but it seems like Russian roulette to me. If you're gonna play with drugs, i'd suggest you avoid meth, it's the one i see people get hospitalized for most frequently.

Great thread. Interesting to learn how universal flakes are. i'm with those who blame aps. And i think it has gotten progressive. i was around when AOL started the online hookup ball rolling. i met a tall, wiry black man who i fell head over heals for: "Kirby." OMG, He was gorgeous, inside and out, i loved everything about Him. i also got a descent amount of actual connection on CL when it was still available, but i also watched it get progressively worse. i think the whole online hookup scene devolved into what it is today, that online, over time, caused a sort of de-evolution of civility and manners. It removes an element of responsibility. People say and do things online that they would never do in real life, and that doesn't just apply to gay hook up. i think that is also starting to bleed over into real life. i'm a critical care nurse, and verbal and physical assault on nurses is on the rise. i think a lot of this has been facilitated by the invisible, anonymous online opportunities. It's safer for people to exercise their true colors, and i think emboldens some to bring it into 'real life.' In a way, i don't think it's particularly new, i think "flakes" have always been out there, but online has provided them a venue? Prior to the pandemic, i had pretty much given up on Aps for hook ups, i'd go to the local ABS and usually could get fucked 4 or 5 times in short order. i'd rather be with a guy while lying prone and naked on my own bed. But "flakes" are a lot less common at ABS (though some go there too). SInce the pandemic? Have only been with fuck buddies and more recently i think i may be on the verge of having an actual boyfriend... and i am pretty damned excited about the prospect. He's pretty damned awesome.

Total Top Self aware and open articulate/good communicator kinky Soft dominant/mind fucker wants quality sex more than quantity sex

i think this is often a supply and demand question? ideally, i'd like to be the bottom half of a Total Top/total bottom relationship, and develop a union where He could have it any time He wanted/needed. i want quality over quantity and find that when i am doing the quantity thing, it's because i am getting the quality part in pieces. When cruising places are available, it's not unusual for me to take 4 or 5 cocks in a short time, but the pandemic and online has cut that kind of hook up way back. Even online seemed a lot more productive in its earlier days. But for me, quantity without connection has lost a lot of its appeal. i'd much rather have less sex and with one Guy than more sex with lots of guys because the connection with quick hook up is usually shallow or minimal. i'm kinky, and it takes some relationship for guys with kinks to develop all the myriad ways two men can connect sexually. i find i have sex a lot more, and a lot better, when i have a FB and we click, are compatible, because we get to know each others desires and that provides more ways to have sex, so more and better sex happens.

i had sex with a guy in Palm Springs a few years ago, he had no legs, only about 4 inch stumps. It was great, just different. i touched him everywhere, including His stumps and it brought tears to His eyes, He really liked it and told me no-one ever touched Him there. i touch legs, especially love a Mans thighs, and that was what He had. Unfamiliar can feel strange, but it isn't strange, just unfamiliar to us. It's familiar to the person and it is their normal. Since it is their normal, i think we are more disabled than they are when interacting.

About 10 minutes ago. Covid has been tough for all of us, me included. As a Covid nurse, i have tried to be responsible and do not frequent the places i did before. i do have some FB's though, and one young Latino muscle jock who texts me frequently. He is spontaneous and i am often at work and can't, but He never gives up, and i really love Him. He is so sweet. He texted me Monday, and i was at work, but let Him know i'd be off starting today. First thing this morning, He texts me, so i prep and tell Him i will be waiting as usual, on my bed ass up and door open. He always comes in, mounts and breeds me that way. This time, for some reason, He put a condom on... which He never has before. A few minutes, and it breaks, probably the elbow grease lube? idk, but He asks if i have another and i tell Him i would rather have His bare cock and take His load, He didn't hesitate and slid on in. It's been awhile for both of us, and He unloaded in me pretty quickly. He is quiet when He cums, i have to listen for it, it's a sweet sigh and He keeps fucking after. His load is in me now, i am reallllly happy.

love all the great answers, great topic! Sometimes daily, sometimes several days. i have all sorts of different underwear, lots of jocks, thongs, and larger variety of marketed to gay underwear brands that a former Dom friend bought for me. Have some lace panties that were also gifts from Top friends. Mostly i wear these really cute briefs that practically scream "fag." It's funny that i wear them "under,' which is where the fag in me is as well apparently, since no one can even tell i'm gay. i used to wear boxers, but a couple of years ago i had a short relationship with a Dom (who i am still friends with, we had dinner in Portland last night). He 'instructed' that i should never wear boxers, that only Tops wear boxers, and it stuck for some reason. He had me put them in a bottom drawer of my dresser, and they have been there ever since. i don't particularly like the feel, but something about briefs makes me feel caged, and that appeals to something in me. i try to be scrupulously clean there, unless my Top wants it otherwise. i was off after going, so the back part of my underwear are clean. The front starts to smell like pee after awhile, but my head is not into my own pee, to me it's just waste. If my Top were to piss or come on them, i'd probably never wash or change them.

Some great thoughts Eros. i was leaning more towards Him getting of on putting me in a position where i had to do those things. For me, it's just an everyday occurrence that i do not give a second thought to, but every now and then, it is apparent that some guys (and women) are excited by what's happening. It makes sense, there are plenty of kinky people out there, it stands to reason that they end up in hospitals too. His penis getting erect is not all that uncommon, but the cleaning His ass was a first... that i knew of. With covid patients, we have in the room heart monitors, so i was able to see what was going on with his heart rate while touching him. Usually do not see the monitor when that sort of thing is happening. But it was so extreme, His heart rate literally doubled while i was touching him, and went down soon after i was done, by the same amount. Particularly striking because he was very sick, and most people don't feel very sexual when sick.

The guy at the gay resort was the one who rejected me after learning i was poz. Gotta admit, it did sting because He got hold of a piece of my heart. He had type one diabetes and His comment to me was: "i don't need another disease to deal with." He was really a nice guy, not mean at all, i think He just blurted without thinking first. i actually think He was disappointed because i think the connection went both ways, that He really liked me too. i think it was part ignorance too, so many still do not grasp that HIV undetectable and on meds is one of the 'safer' guys to be with if one is concerned about not getting HIV. my jaw dropped (internally) and i said nothing, it would have been pathetic of me to do so, to try and explain why i was worth having, i don't think he even connected that he had just reduced me to a disease. But though it stung, it wasn't debilitating for me. my sense of self worth doesn't depend on him or anyone else. As a bottom with a fair amount of sub, i love the connection i can have with a Top, and they can wield a lot of power with me, but i only want someone who wants me, and that was not the case here. Thanks for your sweet thoughts.

This is kind of a strange story that could go here. i'm a critical care nurse, so i interact with people when they are in some very vulnerable situations. i had a covid patient awhile back, he was very sick and the only way we could keep from intubating him was for hims to stay in the "proning" position (i.e. prone, on his stomach). He had bouts of diarrhea, but was to sick to turn over and get on a bed pan, so he had a diaper on, but that wasn't on very well most of the time because of all the tubes and how it made his blood oxygen level go down just to move him to put it on. He wanted to stay uncovered, because he was hot, so most of the time i went into his room, his ass was half exposed. He was married (to a woman) and she'd call me 3x a day for updates on his condition, so it was not like he was openly gay or bi. But i started to notice He liked when i held the urinal for him to pee. He had a tiny cock, but it grew noticeably when i was helping him pee. At one point, when i was assessing for pain, he told me His shoulder hurt, so i massaged it for him and as i was doing so, he told me his lower back hurt, so i massaged that too,. While i was doing that, he told me he that he had "leaked" (diarrhea) and needed cleaning up, so i lowered his diaper and used wipes on him. Thing is, there was nothing there, he had not "leaked" at all. i had him connected to a heart monitor, and he consistently ran brady cardia (his heart rate was usually in the low 50's). i noticed as soon as i started wiping his ass that His heart rate went up to the 120's, he was obviously excited. i took my time and was thorough, After i finished 'cleaning" him his heart rate returned to the 50s. It was a strange experience for me, but not unheard of. i've had more than a few guy patients i suspect were getting off on some aspect of our interaction. i'm a total bottom, so i can see the "faggot" on either side of this one? He might have been getting off using me that way, idk. Stimulating a guys ass is not something i ever do as a bottom, i don't rim, finger, anything like that, and of course this was not even part of the situation, i was his nurse caring for him. But it was obvious he was sexually excited from me holding the urinal and from wiping his (clean) ass, both of which had elements of humiliation being in that kind of position.

wouldn't that be flipping it outside in?

Not necessarily at a sauna, but i have had this happen a (comparatively) few times with anonymous hook ups. i've had thousands of those, and the guys i have "fallen" for i could probably count on 2 hands, so there is something unique and special about it, though i cannot exactly say what? It's more/different than sex or lust, i've had enough of that to know the difference. For me, it has been an energy, a connection that goes beyond physcal feel or appearance, with several of the guys, i did not even see them because i was on my stomach. But i have literally had to bite my mattress to keep from blurting "i love you" to a few guys. There was one anonymous guy who was a regular FB that i fell pretty hard for, again, never saw Him but i loved Him. He stopped breeding me after i became poz. i told Him and he thanked me for telling Him, but it ended after that. i still miss Him, not just the breeding, but Him. Another Top picked me up at a gay resort and we spent the weekend together. He was a Dom of the 'coach' variety. He was very affectionate and affirming, in a sort of degrading way. He was really insightful and skilled and He regressed me to being His "good boy." Was a total mind fuck for me, a first and have yet to ever experience that again, it was very real. my emotional response to Him was adoration, fell really hard for Him, and i think He liked me too, but rejected me after finding out i'm poz.

As others have noted, this is more an estimate than a real number. i've been taking cock for 40 years. A cock a day would put me at the ~15000 mark. There have been years where taking anonymous cock was a daily thing. And given the places and nature of taking anonymous cock, it's not been unusual for me to have had 5 to 15 cocks in a day at a cruise spot or GH. CL used to be a good source for me, i'd run an ad for anonymous walk in at my house and those ad's often got 3-5 cocks. Accounting for off days, i suspect i am somewhere in the 4-6K range? Maybe more. edit: i wouldn't mind having the same Guy in my life, part of me wishes for Him. Some of those numbers include repeat fuck buddies, but the majority have been anonymous cock, probably 90% i didn't even see the Top because i was on my stomach or ass to a GH.

This is from aidsmap, which does a good job i think providing evidence based information about HIV/aids. One of the things that causes lots of confusion in healthcare is authority and/or speculative vs evidence based information on healthcare topics. I.e., people, even legitimate lettered scientists, will draw conclusions or speculate based on their expertise (or lack of the same) instead of study based evidence. That kind of speculation is not without value, it's how theories get traction, theories that will hopefully be tested in quality, large double blind randomized studies that result in evidence, and then hopefully those studies get independently replicated by other scientists and it all gets published in reputable scientific journals where the entire population of scientists can scrutinize the results. Scientific evidence is not immutable 'truth', it's the best we know right now. The only place one can get "immutable truth" is at church (that's tongue in cheek guys). Meanwhile, evidence based is considered by most scientists to be the gold standard. "Key points HIV drug resistance can only arise in PrEP users if they take PrEP when they already have HIV. This is why you should get tested for HIV before you start PrEP, and keep testing regularly. If you take PrEP as directed, you won’t catch HIV, you won’t develop drug resistance, and PrEP will continue to work. A study has found that, in a largely gay HIV-positive population with adequate treatment levels, at most one in 500 cases of HIV infection featured a virus that might possibly be resistant to PrEP. There are differing views on how much PrEP use will add to the burden of HIV drug resistance. But its contribution will be small, compared to the impact of lack of support for adherence and for regular viral load testing in people living with HIV." [think before following links] [think before following links] [think before following links] https://www.aidsmap.com/about-hiv/prep-and-drug-resistance

i love this. i'm one of those bottoms who will clean out all the way to my mouth it seems lol. The worst thing for me is a Top who is turned off. i love how you get that "trash talk" can open a bottom... well, it does me. A Top telling me about His desires to penetrated me is the only thing that makes me hard. i get hard and my hole practically twitches. if a guy talks about using my penis it stays soft, so to me it seems sort of like a womans that gets engorged when a Man is wanting to fuck. A Top talking to me about getting into my hole opens it right up, and a probing tongue will at first meet a little resistance and then my hole goes the opposite way and relaxes and opens, giving in immediately. The only thing that may make me tighten is a dry finger. Really, finger, dildo, tongue, words, all can be "cock" when the Top delivering them is connected to what He is doing, i can feel the difference and i think it's the Tops energy and connection to what He is doing is what latches on to my desire (need?) to open and submit to Him.

i have no problem being naked when alone at home. i sleep naked and wander around the house naked. But around other people? i'm pretty shy about my body and self conscious, being naked is not something i want to do on my own. Maybe oddly, i like it when a Top wants me naked, the power/psychological dynamic i guess? i get turned on when a Top uses nakedness to make a Top/bottom distinction. Maybe He has a really hot body or is muscled and the contrast is evident (i'm tall and skinny). i read a profile from a really muscled Top once where He wrote: "i don't care if you are in shape, I'm in shape so you don't have to be." To me, that really emphasized a power dynamic in a more subtle way.

i've never been drunk or stoned in my life. i've never even had a beer, though i do have an occasional glass of wine with dinner if out with friends who are having wine. i was around a ton of drugs growing up, i just never took them. As a critical care nurse, i have seen to many of the affects of stuff like meth and it's not worth the risk for me. Having said that, i have used poppers. Not really into using them on my self, but find it extremely hot when a Top poppers me. i think i probably get off on the submission and control aspect of it more than the actual poppers. i don't like to be forced, shamed or bullied to do anything. That shuts me down. But when i see and feel the lustful pleasure a Top gets controlling me, i open right up.... and i have had lots of Tops tell me they love to use poppers on a bottom because it "opens them up." They do me, in more than one way.

i love a mans ass. It's arguably my favorite part of His anatomy, which i find strange as a total bottom. But penetrating a Man in any way feels 'top' to me, or maybe it feels like a bottom thing for him to want it? idk, but i don't want to penetrate a man with my finger, a toy, my tongue... anything. But i will kiss His ass and love to touch and hold it, not His hole though. i do think it's a guys response to having his ass eaten that makes him in some way bottom to me.

i don't feel the actual cum going in, but definitely do afterwards. If the Top deposits it deep, it may take awhile, but as the cum works it's way down, my body gets that sensation of needing to expel... which i won't do, i clench and hold it in. i don't want to lose any of His cum, so this in when i really feel His cum inside, when i am doing Kegels to hold it in. The pressure to expel passes and i retain Him inside of me, but i can often still feel that part of Him.

really? It hasn't ever had that effect on me, just mixes with His seed and i hold it all in and absorb as much as i can. i have slept overnight with a Tops piss in me and by morning it is mostly absorbed. When i pee, i can smell His piss in my pee. For me it's an awesome form of impregnation. The first time a Top pissed in me was without discussion or asking. He was a regular FB who bred me regularly, this time He stayed deep and pissed after. i was startled when i realized what He was doing, but He knew me well and whispered in my ear how good He felt and i got turned on by His pleasure and lust and immediately submitted. He felt my response and snickered saying something like: "yeah, your my piss slut now." He was right.

It was bound to happen (i.e., the new law). The sad part is that it had to become a law in the first place, that there are enough uncivilized people violating other peoples volition that laws have to be made to deal with them. When we do not govern ourselves, others step in and do so. Others who are often not familiar or accepting of gay people. i was arrested once for asking an undercover cop to fuck me. He was at a gay cruising site pretending to be gay. i was charged using a 100 year old 'sodomy law' that made my request a felony. i got a judge who laughed and reduced it to a misdemeanor, thinking he was liberal and doing me a great favor, but i should not have been charged with a crime in the first place. my point is, there are a whole lot of people out there who think being gay is evil and would love to see us locked up, or worse. We do not need to be giving these people just cause to condem gays... and that can happen. i can take you into churches filled with people who voted for Mike Pence, who won't let a gay person teach their kids because being gay is equal to being a child molester in their minds. These people think in general, all encompassing terms, grouping all gay people together.. Many here are not old enough to have experienced this mentality, but it is still out there, just not as socially acceptable now. Give them an opportunity and they will come crawling out of the wood work declaring their righteous cause against gay people.