tallslenderguy

Found a blue with white polka dots combo of hanky and tie on amazon. [think before following links] https://www.amazon.com/Turquoise-White-Polka-Skinny-Handkerchief/dp/B07KMPMHM5

Wow, some interesting comments and thoughts expressed on this thread. Re the original question, i cannot remember ever being in denial about my attraction to guys, i can trace it back to specific instances as young as 7 years old. i did grow up in a time and culture that conditioned me to believe that my attraction to guys was both 'sick' and 'sinful.' i can remember going to the library as a kid and finding books on homosexuality. Most of them were medical type books. Prior to 1973, the medical community officially labeled homosexuality as a "mental disorder." As an unsophisticated and ignorant kid, i was trying to find my way. The religious culture i was raised in considers homosexuality perversion of "Gods" intent and "sinful." As a kid, when i checked out other forms of authority (medical science), it pretty much confirmed for me i was both 'sick' and "sinful." It might actually have been easier for me had i been in denial about how i am, but i never actually denied my attraction to guys to myself. i didn't tell anyone else till i was 19 years old, when i "confessed" my attraction to guys in a church meeting as part of my effort to resist of change my "sick, sinful" predilection. To me, that's very different from denial, and i suspect more than a few from similar cultural circumstances we in a similar boat. Being sexually attracted in a different way was isolating. So many of us grew up with shame, guilt, feeling less than, inferior, etc.. On the other hand, i think for many of us, being different has given us insight and perspective that someone who has not been there does not have... at least, experientially. i want to think LBGTQ etc., people should be among the most understanding, open and accepting populations out there, but our culture seems to have all the types of people as the dominant cultures do. It seems to me people fall into one of two groups of disposition, and i think for most it's unconscious: those who live and operate under what they believe are absolutes that can be and are known (by them). On the opposite side of that spectrum (to me) i see those who's only absolute knowledge (beyond arithmetic) is the functional realization their current conclusions could be wrong. To me, it's not the words or "labels" we use that fail us, it's the users. We use words/labels as part of our method of communication. One might tell me: "I'm gay." An absolutist (as described above) may take those two words and apply their particular "knowledge" of both "I'm" and "gay," and end up either partially or totally missing actually 'seeing' or 'hearing' the person i front of them, and instead only see their idea or notion of that person. i don't think anyone is totally immune from this. Our brains store both feelings and cognitive ideas about words/labels, and i think the only work around is the pursuit and practice of continuous awareness; purposeful looking and listening vs presumptive 'knowledge.' i think our typical notion of "knowledge" is backwards. That instead of it being an end point, it is only a beginning point, and that ongoing seeing and hearing put us more in touch with reality than stored knowledge does.

i, and many other bottoms might dispute this lol. People have sex with the goal of pleasure much more than the goal of making a baby, so i think the argument that sex is solely has the goal of procreation is based in cultural notions more than reality. i think one of the funnier facts of nature is that every human sex organ also has a dual function of waste removal. Every 20 or so days a woman sloughs the lining of her uterus and blood and tissue are passed through her vagina for about a week. Sort of a week-long frontal bowel movement lol. And of course, a cock can both breed and piss, and frankly, i respond to a Man who wants to piss in me as another form of breeding, impregnation of both His desire and substance He makes with His body.

i've long fantasized (from a bottom perspective) about a similar arrangement. i thought of a neighbor type set up with an open back door policy, but living together could work too. i guess i'd qualify as a "cumdump" in many respects. my issue is availability of cocks. i live in a smallish town (60k). Pre pandemic, i could go to the local ABS and farily reliably get 4 or 5 loads in a reasonable amount of time. But getting bred has evolved over time. Prior to the internet, when cruising was how one got sex, getting bred could be reliable and almost routine. Once the internet became the dominant form of hook up, i had pretty good success with CL for anonymous breed and go. Over time though, that has become almost more work than it's worth, a case of diminishing returns. Taking into account disease and reliability, FB's have been my greatest source for sex the last couple of years. Beyond the above stated factors, my biggest challenge with being a bottom receiving loads is largely practical, i.e. being cleaned out and ready. i have one FB who'd likely breed me daily, and often more than once a day, if we could do it spontaneously. More often than not, when He contacts me it's: "are you available rn?" ("rn= right now"). Yesterday it took me 10 minutes to reply, and He'd already gone on to other things. i stopped what i was doing, got in the shower and prepped after replying, only to find out after prepping that He had gone out to do something else. i honestly don't care if He went to the store or found another hook up, but it left me ready and with no cock. He contacted me 2 hours later, but by that time i had eaten and was unsure about being clean. my nature and desire is to take cock and cum (and piss for that matter), i.e., a Mans lust and need, any time it's presented. It's in my wiring to want to present receptively any time a Man presents or may wanna present for penetration. i've even held a long time fantasy of having a connection so complete that He would know He can penetrate me to cum or piss in me even if i am sleeping. In the context of a live in or always available situation, it seems to me it would most practically work if both were not squeamish about clean out. i think i'd be able to get past that if i knew my Tops lust was unaffected/unimpeded by it. But if He is grossed out in any way, it would not work for me either. As a receptive bottom, my lust is connected and responsive to His. This is not often, if ever, discussed. i know i am not unique or alone in this. Psychologically, i'm a 24/7 cumdump, it's the physical that impedes that.

Despite the progress we have made towards finding social acceptance as 'normal,' there is still a hugh sector of society that thinks being gay is "sick, perverted, abnormal, etc., etc.." i think this is the foundation that builds and sustains the ongoing ignorance about HIV. The recent pandemic made it abundantly clear that there is a hugh segment of society that does not know what science is or how it works, and worse, are emotionally invested in fighting against science, often inadvertently. i think ignorance is the biggest cause of inadvertent evil. Some poor person is born into this segment of culture, has it as their primary source of information for the formative part of their life, and have to somehow coordinate that with the reality of having a 'different' sexual drive from what they've been taught they're supposed to be/have. i think ignorance in the information age is more emotional than cognitive. Fear often trumps reason and perpetuates ignorance. Still, sex is a strong drive, so we find ourselves having haphazard discussions about HIV transmission at some almost comical moments. It's sorta funny when a guy is pressing His cock into you and as an aside queries: "by the way, am i gonna die from this?"

All my fucks early on fit the "emergency" category, when cruising was the only way to get sex, prior to apps and internet cruising. After the internet, while my methods became "bed," it really was a variation of all three, all anonymous where i was waiting on my bed ass up with my door unlocked and a Top comes in and breeds and leaves. The use of internet or apps is just an evolutionary step in cruising. Before Covid, it was that or ABS. i've written about this on BZ before, but one of my favorite "emergency" fucks happened while driving down a street. Guy pulled up next to me and just glanced over at me. He pulled in front of me and i followed Him into a Burger King parking lot. He went in and i followed Him into a restroom. He wordlessly shut and locked the door behind us, pulled my pants down, turned me around and bent me over. He unzipped, spat on my hole and slid in and bred me. Again, never a word spoken, He zipped up after seeding me, unlocked the door and left. i had to scramble to lock the door and pull my pants back up. i left happy and bred. Prior to internet hook up, most of my sex was similar, parks, restrooms, understall breeding happened a lot.

Wow, that's really amazing to me to read You hadn't cumm for 75 days. As a total bottom, i will go long stretches without cumming because it makes me even hornier and needier for a Top. When i do cum after a long while, it's a big load. i never thought of a Top going without, but wow, i would have felt so, idk, honored to get Your 75 day load. Not just the cum, but the pent up energy, sort of well seasoned orgasm that You had, as you say: "Best fuck [you] had in ages." i love receiving a Mans cock, desire, cum inside of me, but i also love receiving His orgasm and intense pleasure, i swear it feels like they transfer from Him into me, so fucking Hot.

Yesterday. Same FB i've written about the last several times i've posted here. He contacts me often and usually wants "right now." Despite trying to explain to Him about preparing, He doesn't seem to get it. i was all prepared to go out and work in the yard, finish installing my drip system, when He texted me. i told Him i couldn't right then and tried to put it off till today, honestly though, i'd been horny ask weekend and had jerked off 3 times just to take the edge off (i usually only do that every week or ten days because i like being a horny bottom and wanting a Top). He said "Please" and i caved lol. He was very horny, so He had a lot of energy. When we first started hooking, He was quiet, i couldn't even tell when He came, though He'd tell me later He usually cums two or three times when fucking me. He's starting to make more sounds now, and i really love it, showing His pleasure ramps me up, and i'm already ramped anyway. Something else He is doing more of is kissing. i'm on my stomach waiting for Him when He comes in, yesterday He kissed my ass, waist, back and shoulders, very lightly and tenderly. That really has a possessing energy for me, it's like a seed enhancer, He owned me. He fucked me very hard and deep, i almost came at one point just from getting fucked. He seeded me deep.

This is not meant to be combative. To me this reads as though you are saying there really are no intrinsic distinctions, rather: "people like boxes," and these things are all a matter of choice and having an "open mind?" I.e., those who may identify using different "boxes" like "man, woman, black, white, gay, str8, bottom, top" are being closed minded? Given your list and how you "keep an open mind" means you can be: "man, woman, black, white, gay, str8, bottom, top" whenever you choose? Something that keeps me from connecting with some guys who identify as "versatile" is a superior attitude some take that because they are versatile they are better, more open minded. Implying someone who is different means they do not have an open mind ( e.g., "bottom", or "Top") does not strike me as "open minded." To me, it comes off as ethno/ego centric to assume if someone is not like me, they are just being close minded. That may be because i grew up in a religious culture that insisted i couldn't be gay... and i believed them and their superior attitude for many years, they seemed so confident they knew what they were talking about. They made an argument they were right because i had sex with a woman and made kids. Performing that way really fucked with me, it was a denial of who i am. i do not think that is what you are doing, but to me you do seem to be making versatility into its own box? You do not seem to believe people who say they are "Top" or "bottom?" i do not claim to understand all of this that's why i think discussions like this are great. i wish you would 'hear' me when i say i am not like you and not just dismiss me as being closed minded. BTW, i have the same feeling towards those who think Top is superior and bottom inferior. To me, they are just different. i think it's possible to be man, woman, black, white, gay, str8, bottom, top... and even versatile (kidding), and keep an open mind. i think i am being open minded when i accept you at face value when you say you are versatile. You do not have to be either "Top" or "bottom."

Adding more to my previous post. i see to major schools or thought and emotional response when considering Top/bottom/versatile: some seem to think it's a choice, others go so far as to say they were "born 'that' way." For me, it's combined. Physically, i can choose to top, psychologically i seem to be wired bottom. On the rare occasions i have topped, very specific criteria have to aline, some i am aware of, others reasons are blurry, Not so with bottoming. If a Man needs/desires to breed me, pretty much all "criteria" have been met lol. One thing that is important to me in this discussion is to take another guy at face value. I.e., i do not get to chose or dictate who he or how he is based on who or how i am. i may wish him to be Top, but would rather go without than have a guy go against who he is just to accommodate me. For me, that feels to much like what i did half my life when i was married to a woman. i went against who and how i am to accommodate a person and an idea. i don't want to do that to or with another person. For me, it goes back to my psychological wiring i guess. i do not just want to get physically penetrated and bred, i want to be 'psychologically' penetrated and bred, and that requires connecting with real need and desire of both involved.

i think this is a great topic for discussion, thanks for posting it NWUSHorny. i only have a few minutes before having to go to work, but here's a start of a response. i tend to think the reasons for role choice are more psychologically wired in. Which is not to say i think we choose our desires/needs. i also think there are a lot more gray reasons than black or white answers to these questions. i was married to a woman for half my life and i functioned in the top position with her, both physically and psychologically. The reasons i married were mostly from religious cultural conditioning, but i still love/loved my former wife, i just was not compatible with her. One of the things i saw happening while i was married was a part of me was being starved to death, it was as if i could feel that part of me dying and i realized it would have left me permanently damaged if i let it happen. That "part" was the 'bottom' in me that desired and needs a Man. Apparently it is possible for me to function physically as a top, but it violates something in me to do so? Not physically. Sex having my penis serviced feels good physically, having an orgasm feels good physically, but it doesn't feel right or complete for me psychologically. damn, gotta go to work.

Ditto. i have been known to use a plastic water bottle when at work for a quickie, would take several trips between sink and stall. But for a night at the sauna i'd prep at home. i've never had an incident where i was unclean, just would not wanna chance it, would not be worth it to me. The prep stuff i have seen at a sauna has been rudimentary at best, not my idea of "prep."

i hate any kind of theatrics or 'role play,' this is real for me. Sometimes the Guy Topping me will ask me to "talk dirty" to Him, and that always leaves me at a loss. If its not spontaneous and real, i don't want it as part of the fuck. i do moan and say what i'm feeling, but it's not a lot or continuous. There have been times when i have to bite my mattress to keep from saying: "i love You" to a complete stranger who is fucking me and obviously hitting all my buttons lol, but that's because i don't wanna risk turning Him off.

i sooooooo agree with this. i believe the foundation of fundamentalist mind set is a desire for absolute knowledge, and i do not think one has to be religious to have that mindset. Psychologically, i think those who want or think they have absolute knowledge, associate that with security. i do think it's easier to accommodate the mindset in a relgious setting though. When one crosses the line from belief to absolute knowledge, they can make that knowledge into authority that they can then justify applying universally. To jump it up a few notches, some abrogate themselves of responsibility attributing their beliefs and notions to an authority or creator. i think many of these people are absolutely sincere and convinced they are doing "Gods" bidding because they don't just believe in "God," they know "God." i think "God" is the ultimate ethnocentricity.

There is a real and powerful religious force in the USA, with a decided political presence and agenda. It doesn't take a historian to realize the number of times the notion "it will never happen here" has been proved wrong for a country. i was arrested in 1999 by a cop pretending to be gay and pretending to cruise in a known gay park. i was charged with a felony using a 100 year old sodomy law for asking him if he wanted to fuck. The only thing that saved me was a judge who was liberal. The judge could just as easily been conservative and sided with McDonell's anti gay beliefs. Anyone who believes the US justice system is 'blind' and free of bias is woefully ignorant. The "justice system" is how law is interpreted, and RvW is a perfect example of how interpretation can go from one side to the opposite in a heartbeat, depending on who sits on the bench. Bob McDonnell was the AG in Virginia at the time i was arrested. McDonell identified as a conservative Christian and he went after gays with a vengeance... he later became governor of Virginia. He was very open about his agenda. McDonell's masters thesis (from religiously conservative Regents University) lays out his views: "...the entire treatise outlines a Christian Reconstructionist’s version of a biblical worldview as it relates to the relationship between family, church, and civil government, and outlines proposals to privilege that social ordering with taxes and policies. McDonnell sets out the jurisdictional view of authority promoted by Reconstructionists with which RD readers will be familiar: the “God-ordained institutions,” of the civil government (citing Genesis 9-11), the church (citing Matthew 16), and the family (citing Genesis 2)." [think before following links] https://religiondispatches.org/bob-mcdonnells-christian-reconstructionist-thesis/ And now we have a purposely stacked supreme court. "U.S. Supreme Court takes aim at separation of church and state In three decisions in the past eight weeks, the court has ruled against government officials whose policies and actions were taken to avoid violating the U.S. Constitution's First Amendment prohibition on governmental endorsement of religion - known as the "establishment clause." [think before following links] https://www.reuters.com/legal/government/us-supreme-court-takes-aim-separation-church-state-2022-06-28/?utm_source=ground.news&utm_medium=referral

You may want to check out Ground News , they provide several sources for the same story and measure things like factuality and bias.

Stuff like The Inquisition or similar (to me), Islamic conquests, did not result in entire populations converting whole heartedly, but they did have control and asserted it against populations like gay people or 'infidels.' Fundamentalists believe gays are going to hell for fucking. There are fundamentalists who want to put gay people in jail. They may not convert gays to their way of thinking, but they still want to repress us and they do not see us as equals. Thomas want's to "revisit" (and overturn) the rulings that give people equality. Well, gay people anyway, he probably doesn't want to revisit slavery. i think people like Thomas are the ones spreading fear ("fear mongering.").

Right? There's a type of person who wants a black or white rule book to base their life on vs paying attention to what is going on now and evolving. Some people want a 'holy writ,' but those same people typically fail to see that they are using that to support their own emotional disposition... interpretation.

For me, the idea and intent behind chastity are what counts more than an actual device. Chastity, to me, is not about forbidding orgasm, but about controlling it. i only see it or am interested in chastity as part of a Top/bottom relationship with a Man. The idea of putting myself in chastity has zero appeal. The hottest dynamic i can imagine is a relationship where the Top truly doesn't see or want me with a 'cock.' But then, i am total bottom. i would think it's very different with a versatile guy, and chastity could take on a different meaning, where he has a "cock" and it is being locked up. As a total bottom, i am drawn to Total Tops who don't want a guy with a "cock," but He sees and treats it more like He might a womans clit. Not that i am talking feminization, or trans here, i'm not. It's different. A womans clit is still a very real part of their sex organs and sexuality. In my experience when i was married to a woman, she got off on having her clit stimulated, but did not like to orgasm that way, it was always a precursor to being penetrated and bred. i found i related to her, i needed/wanted the same thing. So the idea of chastity is both physical and psychological for me. It's a part of me a Man can manipulate to get or keep me horny for His cock and cum. It's not that i do not need or want to cum, but that i need/want the connection and bond where He is in charge and controls my orgasm. To me, that is an enormously deep bond when our pleasure is bound that way. But it only works when the need/desire is mutual. Chastity, to me, is not so much about locking and owning my "cock," but about owning my orgasm.

Great topic! To me, one of the distinctions of an intimate relationship is the deeper, more open connections and bonds that can be had. i'd want my partner to feel free to express His desire/need whenever it was there. In that kind of relationship, i see masturbation as foreplay. I.e., once i see my partner aroused, it stimulates my desire/need for Him. i want to be a part of His pleasure and receive that part of Him into myself, so Him masturbating would be something akin to 'Master' 'bating' me. To me, it's sort of like groping, except He is groping Himself, but in a sense, He is sorta groping me when He touches Himself, because He and His pleasure are a pleasure center for me. my response to the 'signal' would likely be to go to my knees at the very least, or present my hole for breeding.

There is a lot of ignorance in the world, particularly when it comes to science and healthcare. As a nurse who's cared for a lot of Covid patients , i encontered family who were convinced we were keeping their very sick family members in the hospital unnecessarily. Honestly, some of the stuff people would say to me left me speechless. Science supports vaccines, yet look at the large number of people who are afraid or reject them. People watch a youtube vid and are convinced they are medical experts afterwards, there are many people who really don't grasp what science is or how it works. i'm more often than not convinced that people act out of emotion more than reason.

i am just guessing, but I don’t think this is over. He may be trying to do what he thinks is right and most expedient, but love and emotion are powerful things, my guess is he is still conflicted and that will still come out in some way in the future… maybe.

Top or bottom, it's still sex, and sex is not just physical, and you are exploring the psychological side of it. You do not need a cage to exercise abstinence, but there can be a psychological side to being put in a cage by another Man and giving Him the key to being able to stimulate your penis. You can also put yourself in one, but it's different. There are infinite variations of chasity. i read about a guy who's lover tied a pink bow around his penis as his "chastity belt." Personally, i cum hardest and the most when i have not cum for awhile. But the effects of chastity, i think, can be more psychological than physical. And absitnace definitely makes you more sensitive, not just your prostate. i think not eating makes you more hungry, not having sex makes you hungry for sex and mare horny,, sensitive and malleable sexually. It's a tried and true method for training a bottom to get his pleasure from his hole, and focus his sexual energy there.

To me, "dumped" sounds to harsh, but it does answer a lot of questions, for both of you. It's a hard one, i'm sorry. i've found that our emotions and reason often to not aline in life. We feel one way, but think another. i do not think it's strange or unusual that he "felt like a teenager." Culture often controls and directs our choices and behavior differently from who we are, what we want/need. i think that causes certain parts of us to be unfulfilled and those parts don't have a chance to grow and develop, so that part of us is stuck as a "teenager" (so to speak). Now that th cat is out of the bag, it's going to be hard for him to put it back. It's sort of like escaping a prison, and it's going to be hard for him to give up the freedom and joy that part of him experienced. As to him recommending you find a "younger man?" He cannot make that call for you, you are attracted to who you are, i think repression of such feelings is what gets us in trouble in the first place, conforming to what "should be" instead of exploring what is.

Not to be a wet blanket, but, all meds have side effects, especially with long term or chronic use (their original intended use was short term therapy). Neither proton pump inhibitors or H2 blockers actually 'fix' the problem of reflux, they just lower acid in the stomach, making the reflux less painful. For instance, a side effect of chronic use is anemia, our body uses stomach acid for iron metabolism, so chronic use of antacid thwarts that stomach acid function. We likely do not know the half of it when it comes to altering any normal body function long term. Here's some study summaries for those interested; Proton pump inhibitors (e.g., Nexium, Prilosec, Prevacid, etc.). [think before following links] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7887997/ and H2 inhibitors (e.g, Zantec, Tagamet, Pepcid, etc.). [think before following links] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK525994/ As an aside, i've had good success with Fennel seed for GERD treatment. Here's some study review of natural therapies for GERD: [think before following links] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8839470/