tallslenderguy

i've had a slash more akin to a pussy, vs a pucker, for a long while now. Purposeful intent of some Top fuck buddies to mold it that way, and just the course of nature otherwise. i spent last weekend (4 days) with a Top friend who, sadly, had ED. Didn't stop Him from being hole obsessed though and He spent a great deal of time using His fingers, hand, mouth, toys opening and molding my hole. i'm still a little sore and notice i'm puffy down there. Something i have noticed before is when i get lots of concentrated penetration, cock or otherwise, i get opened and easily accessible, and my hole gets sort of pillowy and swollen inside, so it is a combination of both opened and swollen, but not tight. Thankfully, i have never lost my ability to squeeze a cock inside of me, though i confess some Men can fuck that ability out of me in a breeding session, which i honestly find really hot. Phychologically and physcally it 'feels' like He has fucked my hole into submission and conquered it, i feel very possessed and love that.

A little more. i look at my above experience as mostly a learning experience. i want to learn how to take a Mans piss from His cock in a particular way. I.e., i want to be able to receive and swallow Him and His piss without spilling any. That's on me. He too was learning, i think, and He had to psych Himself up to be able to pee using me. Something He would not have to do with a urinal. So,. for me, there is a kind of Hot mind fuck that can happen, that isn't mean or forceful, but mutually affirming when we both realize and can flow (so to speak) when He says to me: "you really need this, don't you? you really like being my toilet, don't you?" The other thing i look for is Him being into it and 'skilled' as well, ideally. Not a prerequisite. The connection i hope for is where He is doing what comes naturally, just like when a bottom sucks His cock. Pissing is "natural." It's a 'relief" to all, but there's also a certain pleasure that some Men take in it. They connect with pissing and with Their piss sort of like they do with Their cum. Not the same, but it's a form of seed, something they mark with. Also, i've seen some Men who know what they have and use it in a matter of fact way, but even better, their lust/need can be attached to it. Their lust/need to penetrate, inseminate and impregnate. It's that energy i want to be available for and connect too, where we are watching a movie together and He stands up from the sofa, walks over to me and takes His cock out saying: "i gotta piss" as He knowingly presses His cock to my hungry, parting, receiving mouth. The mutual knowledge ramps it up 100x.

To me, it too easily becomes a compromise term with sex: "I'll suck your cock if you suck mine," or fill in the blank. i'm a bottom first, and a cocksucker also. if a Man needs/wants to breed or have His cock sucked, we're a good match. Each of us gets what we need/want. If a guy comes to me and says: "i'll breed you if you let me suck your cock." He's not even seen me (i don't have a "cock," ). i want/need to be bred by someone who wants/needs to breed, to penetrate, not as part of some compromise. His breeding is a connection, then his sucking me is undoing that connection, bond (for me, us) i do not think quid pro quo is sustainable. i think one, or both really, end up feeling what is missing and/or the begin to feel and resent their compromise, or paying an unnatural price to get what they are looking for. If all he really wanted/needed was to suck cock, he had the wrong person in me, because i am not a "cock." Trying to negotiate a person into being something they are not is just delusion to me. It has a semblance without essence. It's pretentending. Hope i am making sense?

i think this is a great topic for discussion!! Thanks for posting it Breedingandseeding. Pretty much my only boundary is the person has to be "Top," or in top mode/state of being if versatile. i don't want mechanical sex, i want to connect with the person, even in a hook up situation. i look for a symbiosis of connection, fulfilling mutual need/desire, and i'm not sure i could separate that from the sex. Anything else to me would just be masturabation, solo self manipulation. If a versatile guy contacts me and says he wants to get together, that always requires discussion and a vetting process on my part. If i get any sense at all that he is not in full on top mode, just needing/wanting to penetrate another guy, without need of being penetrated, then i politely refuse. Even when i am with a versatile guy who just penetrates me, i sometimes get the feeling he is not satisfied or fulfilled, and i hate when a man i am with is disappointed. I'd rather go without than have sex with a man where he is left unfulfilled or disappointed. i've even gone as far as trying to find him a better match than me, so he can get what he really needs/wants. i won't 'role play' either. For me, that is pretending, for one to be something they are not. Who an how i am is real to me, not role play. i HATE quid pro quo when it comes to sex. To me, that demeans and denies the power and realness of who and what we are and the connection and bond that can be had. If there is a 'sin against nature,' to me, that would be it lol. Again, this is all just me, i'm not making universal rules for everyone, this is just how i am wired. A Man's lust/need to penetrate, inseminate, impregnate Himself into a receptive male is key to opening me to all of those parts in Him, whether it is in ltr or bending over anonymously in a dark room.

Preamble: This is me speculating based on study evidence. i've read a study done with straight people that demonstrates that semen has a bonding effect on the brain with the receiver. Though it hasn't been studied, i suspect something similar may happen with a gay bottom receiving a Tops cum into his highly absorptive gut? That aside, our sexuality is connected to our brain. "An erection is a carefully orchestrated series of events controlled by the CNS. We now know that the penis is under the complete control of the CNS, both during sexual arousal and at rest. As our Working Group colleague William D. Steers has noted, any disturbance in the network of nerve pathways that connects the penis and the CNS can lead to problems with erections." [think before following links] https://www.bumc.bu.edu/sexualmedicine/publications/the-central-mechanisms-of-sexual-function/ Again, this is speculation on my part, but we do know that brain connections/synapses can be strengthened through use, or weaken through disuse. i wonder if being versatile maybe involves a balancing act of sorts? Maybe the ability to be Top requires exercise as a Top, and inability to maintain an erection is connected in part to lack of exercise? i wonder if you just solely exercised the Top part of your brain if it would not get stronger and more capable? i don't think it can be condensed down to such a simple, black or white answer though. There is so much going on with erection. i think one of the things many overlook is vascular disease. I.e., the Standard American Diet (SAD) results in atherosclerosis over time, which we know affects the secretion of nitric oxide, a vasodilator directly employed and necessary for erection. Drugs like Viagra directly influence this process, so there is a vascular/mecanitcal component to erection as well as a brain. To reverse vascular disease? The only diet i know of that can reverse vascular disease is a whole food plant based diet with no added oil (WFPBDNO). On the mental side? Maybe focus on just being a Top for awhile and build and strengthen those brain pathways? i don't think a bottom has to do that because there are no evident performance issues with a bottom, but i think, performance aside, the brain aspect of being a bottom can be seen in cum dumps? End of speculation. 😉 Fun to consider and discuss.

Like some, i too have had a lifetime of anonymous gay sex. i was married (to a woman) for half my life, so i kmow what it means to have a relationship with sex, with a woman, but not with a Man. It's not for lack of want, i'm a romantic and love the idea and potential associated with relationship. i have had several long term anonymous relationships that make me wonder what actually constitutes "anonymous?" For instance, i had a restroom i'd frequent for a few years with understall fucking. There was one guy at this particular place who seemed to seek me out, and somehow He'd always show up to breed me when i was there. It was an ongoing anonymous connection? i also had a FB for over a year and a half who would breed me almost on a weekly basis. i never saw Him and have no idea what He looked like because i was always face down, naked and blindfolded. Never knew his name. Both of those are examples of ongoing sexual connections where i never knew their name, but still there was a sort of relationship and familiarity, a sort of anonymous bond?

i'm a total bottom with a side of sub. i was long ago insemenated and impregnated by a Man pissing deep in my ass, so it's been on a list of my wants/needs ever since. im mostly bottom with need/desire to be anally penetrated, but am a cocksucker secondarily and have had a fantasy for a few years now of 'drinking from the tap." my bottom/sub parts are thoroughly integrated into my psychosexual wiring. I.e, to me a Mans 'cock' is way more than the organ between His legs... and His piss to me is another form of a Mans semen, particularly when He sees Himself the same way. Compatibility. That to say that my interest in "WS" or piss, is not so really about the piss, but about so much that surrounds our psychological wiring about piss. About 95% of urine is water, about 5% Is stuff the body is getting rid of, 'waste.' Lots of mammals use piss to mark their territory. Generally, culture describes the act of pissing on someone as a degrading, humiliating act. Go into any mens room and listen to banter while guys are pissing and you'll often hear declarations of how good it feels to piss: "the pause that refreshes." So there is a pleasure, release feeling commonly associated with pissing or "relieving" oneself. And so much more. As a bottom with some sub nature, my psychology can attach to all of those things. To me, there so many ways to connect to a Man (who is similarly wired from a Top perspective) with piss. Him pissing on me is a combination of Him receiving pleasure and release in an act that is also simultaneously humiliating and degrading to me, even when it's done with no intent of force or meanness. As a matter fact, to me, a Man pissing on me with a knowing smile is a hell of a lot more "Dom" than one who has to be forceful or mean. So it's not surprising to me that i'd end up wanting to receive a Mans piss from His cock. But again, not generically. i've seen a lot of the piss porn where a Top pissing in a bottoms mouth and it all comes right back out again. i.e, the bottom is not actually drinking or swallowing the Mans piss. i have this involved fantasy/desire of a Man who is into the mind fuck part of this as much as i, that He wants/needs to 'make' a bottom guy who His 'toilet' as much as i want Him too need/want that. But then, i hate pretend or role play... i want real, this is all about deep connection and bonding of our 'kinky' parts. And i know for that to happen, there are practical considerations. i honestly had concerns about my ability to take a Mans piss i my mouth. Up the ass? No problem. i've slept with a gut full of a Mans piss all night long, ensuring absorption and impregnation from Him as i slept... next morning when i pee, i can smell His piss in my pee, and i know He impregnated me. Drinking? i wasn't sure how i'd respond to the taste or quantity. Would either, or both, overwhelm me? i knew i'd want a patient Top to work with me and help me acquire the skill, because i wanna swallow every drop. To me, drinking His piss is sort of like drinking His cum. Not exactly, but i'd never think of spitting out a Mans cum. So this last weekend, i got t chance to finally try. i had a Top friend staying with me and He woke me up in the night saying He had to piss. So, i knelt in the shower and took His cock in my mouth. i only took it about 3 inches in, about half way. i didn't know what to expect and didn't want to choke or gag and end up spitting any out. So i tasted it. His was sort of bitter, not bad, but bitter. i expected it would be salty, but it wasn't. It was almost like lime? It wasn't "good" but it also wasn't "bad" tasting, so i was able to take it. As i gained confidence, i took His cock to my throat and, luckily, it wasn't so much that i couldn't keep up with swallowing. That was better in a way because i didn't taste it and i felt like i was taking it better. As His flow increased and didn't let up, i did start to get a little overwhelmed (fear?), but over all i was pretty successful and was pretty happy and pleasantly surprised at my ability first try. i think i will become good at it pretty quickly.

A little editing on that first paragraph: Maybe, and maybe not. i don't mean to imply that all my or any gay persons bullies were just repressed or immature gays. Also, not drawing a universal conclusion from my personal experience. But i think this can be an added factor in the equation and that the dominant culture of many of our childhoods leave gay kids out of that equation. it's speculative and your experiences were different from mine.

Maybe, and maybe not, not drawing a universal conclusion from my personal experience, but i think it can be an added factor in the equation that the dominant culture of many of our childhoods left out. it's speculative and your experiences were different from mine. One of the first bullies in my life, at 7 years old, introduced me to the enema nozzle. Our relationship was mixed, sometimes He was friendly, other times mean and a bully. But He was obviously excited when He explained to me what an enema nozzle was for and where it went, and i was just as excited from a receptive position. Neither of us had a clue about sex at that age, but that didn't mean we were not wired as sexual beings. i don't think our sexuality can be separated from the rest of who we are. Conquering armies raping both men and women comes to mind. There are plenty of ways to humiliate and subjugate, yet some employ sex as well and i do not believe it's a solely clinical act, even when mixed with establishing pecking order.

To add to my above response: i think it can be argued that, in humans, the pleasure imperative for sex generally outweighs the procreation imperative, in volving both innate drive as well as cognitive and emotional volition, and none of those are gender dependent,

i don't think it's "the exact same dilemma." i think Men and Women are psychosexually wired differently and LGBTQ people land somewhere in the middle of the spectrum. i also think cultural conditioning plays a big role in attitudes beyond anatomy and physiology. One of the things i find funny about nature is how every sex organ also has the dual purpose off 'waste' removal. A vagina is not exempt in that respect since a woman has about a 21 day menses cycle, that is sort of like a 24 hour, 7 day bowel movement where her body is sloughing off the wall of her womb. There are guys and women who will fuck even when she has her period, and there are guys who will fuck each other au natural as well. Neither is physiologically impossible, but is affected by ones tolerance for blood or feces. To me, a cock and cunt are much more than physical organs, they are psychosexual disposition, state of being. For me a "Top/Dom's" finger, or dildo or attitude can all be expressions of HIs "cock," and things like insemination and impregnation go beyond even the evolutionary demand of making a baby.

Yes and no? You were a kid in a society where both being a faggot and wanting a faggot were vilified. i was also one of those kids bullied, a lot. Coming to terms with that as an adult was confused and drawn out because i was also conditioned by fundamentalist 'christian' culture. Fundamentalists adopted disproved Freudian notions that gay people are the result of bullies and 'bad' parenting (i.e., a dominant mom and submissive dad). what i have come to understand is there are Tops and bottoms (and everything in between), and guys who like guys. i've always been a bottom who loves guys and can clearly trace all my childhood crushes as far back as 6 or 7 years old. i can also look back and see what a faggot i was. i think i naturally attracted gay Top boys who were just as conditioned against who they were as i was. Not to mention we were all kids and didn't know anything anyway. i think a lot of my bullies were simply immature gay Top/Dom boys who were stuck in and affected by the same rejecting and destructive culture. Prolly a lot of them were conflicted and unhappy about how they were and felt too. By the time i was about 13, i'd learned to hide the faggot that i am, conform outwardly, built the proverbial "closet." But i have never changed inwardly. Now when a Man calls me a faggot, especially with love and affection because He too is accepting His desires and needs, it's affirming.

Great interview [think before following links] https://www.npr.org/programs/fresh-air/2022/03/01/1083702917/fresh-air-for-march-1-2022-how-russias-invasion-of-ukraine-changes-the-world-as?showDate=2022-03-01

i think that, even though we tend to fit loosely and identify i groups, sex is ultimately individual. i don't think it's "selfish" to have a specific desire or need, that is universal reality. i think selfishness is forcing Your desire on another without considering them and their desire/need. Read the threads on BZ long enough and You will find bottoms who "prefer [You] licking/lub and sticking [Your] dick inside." You will also find those who want/need You to finger and open them first. If it's a central or important factor for You, i suggest You put info like that in Your profile when looking for sex. Same with shorter people. i think there are many things we will never figure out or understand about how we are wired sexually, so to me it's about learning how to live with who and how we are in the best way we can. Sex involves a partner/s. For me, sex is about connecting with another human being. That's not true for everyone, for some, it's just about using another for their pleasure. Personally, i look for symbiosis, where there is mutual benefit vs exploitation. i fucking love the times, that almost seem magical to me, when i connect with a Man and for a time it's like we are one. i want to facilitate and nurture that dynamic, so communication is important to me and the process. The more specific needs/desires you have/express, the quantity goes down, but i think the 'quality' goes up. And, the "quantity' may be negligible depending on the need. E.g., i think most bottoms are gonna be fine with lick and stick and would prefer it over no sex at all. The quality may not be a great, but sometimes fast food will suffice when there's not a gourmet meal to be found.

History is replete with examples of autocratic, narcissistic bullies being in charge of countries. It seems we pay the most attention to those who impact us directly or indirectly, yet we have several around the world right now. Off the cuff, Xi Jinping (China) and Kim Jong-un (N. Korea) come to mind. Chinas dictator has more power resources than dictatorships like N. Korea, and they have grabbed countries in similar moves as Putin: Tibet comes to mind. China's dictators are also currently committing genocide against the Uyghur people in N. China. Putin is in the spotlight and he is currently indulging his sick and self absorbed agenda at humanities expense. One of his predecessors, Stalin, killed 25 million 'Soviet' people during his reign of terror (vs Hitlers 8 million during his reign). i think democracies work better than autocracies/dictatorships where fewer people are involved in the selection process. It's not because i believe 'the people' are always or generally smart and realistically informed, rather i think the higher the number of people involved in making the choice/s, the harder it is for the few who want power to influence/control the outcome. It seems to me people tend to join groups that appear to represent their strongest individual emotional interest/s, sort of like giving/taking loads in a dark room, except with politics, the consequences can be nuclear vs STD. i voted for Joe Biden, not because i like him or would ever have chosen him to represent me. He doesn't. i remember watching the democratic debates and thinking there were several people i would have chosen from, but i do not think we are really given that choice. i think those with lots of money buy our 'choices' for us. Joe wasn't on my short or long list lol. For all his weaknesses and flaws though, i can't see Joe ever doing something like Putin or Hitler did, but it's not hard for me to imagine Trump doing something similar given the opportunity. He pretty much shows his hand with his comments showing obviously admiration for Putin. i think these people are cut from similar cloth and the world would be better off without that fabric covering us. Whatever the reasons, even if it's just plain "weakness" (as some purport), i'd rather have weak people like Joe in charge than supposedly "strong" people like Putin. i don't think people like Putin are "strong," i think they are bullies, and i think they do a lot of large scale harm, they never leave the world in better condition than they found it. Not that i think most leaders on either side of the coin do, to me it's about minimizing their power, not feeding it.

Agreed. i think we are talking about two schoolyard bullies, cut from the same cloth, self absorbed, narcissists without a care for anyone or anything but their own distorted sense of self grandizement. The lack of maturity and simple humanity is some world 'leaders' is stunning. Of course, school yard bullies don't have armies or nuclear weapons to employ, and invading a country and killing people is what we get from aged bullies. The deception that still holds humanity captive is that a small minority can control the majority of humanity in its own destruction.

my heart is breaking over the Ukraine. i do not think most people want violence in their lives. i do not understand why humanity continues to follow the orders of violent people, why we allow them control. We have amazing resources on this planet, intelligence, treasure and sources of pleasure beyond imagination. Yet humanity continues to squander those precious resources on making weapons and on destroying what we have based on the whims of insane 'leaders.'

i do. i have no desire to be with a man who doesn't wanna be with me just as much, and i want as much connection as i can get.

The simple answer is, i won't. i won't let someone harm me. If i even perceive a bully or force, it shuts down any desire in/from me. i see sex as a connection, not an assault. i can internalize my penis when it's flaccid without issue. It never occurred to me that one could penetrate that space... i don't think it's even possible, but i connect to and am turned on by a Mans desire/need to penetrate, so the idea, at least, evoked the bottom in me.

i know a Man who gets very turned on pushing my penis in to my pelvis, internalizing it like i don't have one at all, then He wants me to pee that way. He also wants to fuck it? While i love His lust, i would not think that possible?

Wow, yet another great discussion on BZ. i love this place/culture. i've come to a place in my journey where i have no problems examining and questioning authority or the norm. Which came first, people or language? i think it's the former. Then we developed language as a means of connecting with others, sharing our thoughts and feelings. What i find with many who speak with authority, or an authoritative attitude, is they are usually speaking from an ego/ethnocentric position vs evidence based. Any honest scientist will tell you that evidence is the best we know or can determine right now. One of my favorite parts of what i consider a legitimate study is the honest disclaimer: "further studies are needed." People come up with terms like "straight, bi, gay, etc., ad infinitum" to try and convey a state of being. i think where we fail is when we think we can simplify the complex with a few words or labels. i think we get more connection when we continually look and listen, see and hear vs labeling a person and relating to that label instead of what currently is. Life, by definition is fluid, motion. Death is the cessation of movement? And, there's the question of life/energy never really ending, just changing form. Life and sexuality are infinite, multidimensional and we experience it somewhere between a and b? When i am really needing connection with other guys and wanna receive their cock and energy and what comes out of it, prior to pandemic i would go to the ABS. i found lunch time and the time guys were getting off work to be the best times. i'm pretty sure most the guys who fucked me or who wanted to get sucked off were stopping off on their way home to the wife or girl friend.

Your cock is more than adequate, it's not the size. i've been bred by a couple of Tops who didn't have more than 3" and every drop of their cum went into my hole. Both were tall guys, one a lanky 6'3" and the other was 6' and had a very large body. The first guy fucked me standing and me bent over, the second was a regular walk in FB who did anonymous walk in with me (once a week). The second guy really earned my admiration because His body was so big He could not lie on me. i'd be lying prone (face down/ass up) on my bed, naked and waiting. He'd come in, get on my bed and straddle my thighs, legs closed. He'd put His cock in while He was sitting that way and would fuck me Him sitting and me lying under Him. He always bred me with a huge load. i have a pretty skinny boys ass, so that may make it easier, but 5" is more than enough cock to breed with. i'm 6'5", so i get the height difference challenge. Doggie style doesn't usually work well for me because i have really long legs and most guys cannot reach my hole in that position. However, i have found that my deck in my back yard can work well for most guys who wanna fuck doggie style. i assume the position and if they are standing on the ground, my hole is at a good height for them. For visibility and accessibility, i'd suggest a bed that is at your cock height, them on their back and legs up and you standing. They can also spread their ass that way giving you a good view and access to their hole, sorta like this:

my first time topping was when i was newly married, barely 21 years old. Grew up religious and was trying to 'choose' to be straight. It was on our wedding night and the first time i tried, i missed. lol, yep, totally missed the hole. If she'd had any questions about my virgnity prior, they would have been dispelled by my first time. It was dark, we were under covers and i came almost instantly. i remember thinking the feeling was pretty unremarkable, but then, i hadn't managed to make it in. Once i made it in, it felt good physically, but never felt good psychologically. Marriage to a woman pretty much burned into me the understanding that i'm a total bottom. i lost my gay virginity 6 years later when i sucked a guy off. i honestly cannot remember the first time i topped a guy? i can remember the first guy who topped me like it was yesterday: Andrew Lee Burton. i've only ever topped a few guys in my life, enough to know i'm not top. It's weird, because i love a Mans ass visually, i stare at them all the time, but i have no desire to penetrate a man, just to be penetrated.

Really appreciate this. A lot of tops do not seem to understand how involved and time consuming the clean out process can be. It makes sense to me though, especially a Total Top who never gets fucked, they just don't relate not having to clean out themselves. my hole has definitely morphed and been molded by use to be more of a receptive organ than a retentive organ. i think it's interesting how all sex organs are designed for waste elimination as well as receiving another. A woman has her menses every 21 days, sort of like a 7 day BM. Some straight guys will still fuck a woman even during her period, some even like it. There's guys who like to fuck guys that way too. i confess, the ability to be spontaneous is appealing to me and i think i could deal with it if i knew my Top was totally into what He was doing, but if i feel any hesitation or turn off from Him, it shuts me down too, so it's really about connection of mutual need/desire for me.

i've been at this awhile, in the >1000 cock club, and i have never had an 'accident." Granted, i'm paranoid and go to great lengths to clean out. i don't cruise unprepared. my challenge has been fb's or guys that contact me out of the blue and wanna fuck. i always tell them i'm not prepared, some are willing to wait. That's always the scary ones, because i feel like i don't take the usual amount of time to know i am deep clean. i do sometimes wish for the ability to be spontaneous. i would love to be available 24/7, at a moments notice. i've found a few who say they don't care, and even like it, but never actually been in that position.