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Everything posted by tallslenderguy
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First from 'the tap' experience
tallslenderguy replied to tallslenderguy's topic in Watersports Discussion
Another entry in the ongoing saga of me learning and becoming a more skilled piss drinker. One of the thoughts i had this weekend is, for me, it's a different form of penetration and impregation that is happening. With semen, there is the fuck drive and climax where a Man "shoots" or "ejaculates" His seed. With piss, it's almost an opposite form of release/relief where He relaxes vs drives and He flows vs shoots. i can see the potential, the more skilled i get at it, and experienced the aspect of Him flowing into me. Oh fuck, how HOT is that? This weekend, i had two more opportunities with the same Man. i'm more bottom than sub, but i have a deep seated and decided sub side to me. It's not immediately evident or accessible like my bottom side. Basically, all a Man needs to access my bottom nature (and hole) is His desire/need to fuck and breed-and i'm instantly there. my sub side only responds to a particular type of Dom/Top. Which is not to disparage anyone, i just know myself and how i am. i never want to come off as sounding like i think who and how i am is a universal standard of any sort. The short explanation is i shut down with force, meanness or bullying. The guy i was with this weekend is not my idea of a complete Top/Dom, or his idea of one either. He identifies as "versatile" and "switch" (respectively). He is really able to stay in Top nature with me, so He is a rarity in that respect and we have great connection/bond. At one point this weekend He told me He had to piss and asked if i wanted it. i said "yes" and He had me follow Him into His shower where i kneeled and received His cock. As before, i was surprised that quantity and stream were not a big issue for me, i am getting that part down pretty well. Again, it was taste that ended up overwhelming me and He finished pissing in the shower. But i was able to take more this time, and it was only my second time taking piss orally, and He was pleased, so i was pretty happy. (i've take lots of piss in my ass, and that is never a problem. i'm a total anal slut when it cums to piss, i've even slept with a Mans piss in me overnight). The second time this weekend He told me He had to piss and again asked if i wanted it. He was completely considerate, not pushy at all, just making His need and desire known. i wanted to. Even though the thought of taste gave me pause, my desire to be able to receive His desire and need was stronger, so i said "yes." This time we went into His bathroom and He asked me to sit on the floor with my face next to HIs toilet. Fuck, that was a great move on His part, He got into my head. This was my third time receiving Piss from a Mans cock orally and i was able to receive more. i'd say it was easily a cup and a half? Maybe about 350-400 mL? But He had a lot, and i am learning His piss is always strong. He thinks it's because He takes a lot of supplements. Strong, pungent piss is awesome when it's in the ass, it really impregnates and i can smell His scent when it mixes with me and i pee it out. It's a sort of birthing experience. Not the same with drinking though, though it was Hot smelling HIs piss on my breath. He had about the same amount left as what i drank. He finished pissing in the toilet with my face right there, me watching. It was a great mind fuck because i ended up being envious of the toilet. i know i'll be able to do more, maybe all, next time. -
Some sex irrelevant thoughts about patients
tallslenderguy replied to Sharp-edge's topic in General Discussion
One of the most difficult and frustrating parts of working in healthcare is having to satisfy the demands of disconnected, and largely ignorant, bureaucrats/bureaucracy. They often seek to dictate how we provide care as though the healthcare provider is a remote control device. Often, "those who cannot do, teach." i'm part of a union, a whole different topic, and am always begging that we use our collective power to gain a seat on the board. Those who provide care should not have to settle for concessions, they should have policy decision making power. Or vice versa, those making policy should have to regularly do the work they are expecting others to do, they need to experience first hand what actual care giving involves. As it exists now, those who make policy are far removed from the process of care. They are buffered from reality by middle management. Middle management has to implement policy that they have no say in making. It's a system that guarantees disconnect. i come from an executive management background. i have run businesses using a democratic consensus model that worked well. i switched lanes in 2010, went to school and got a BSN and became a bedside critical care nurse. i understand both sides of the coin experientially. i have been asked by my peers to apply for management positions, and have declined, for the reason you state. The corporate model needs to be scrapped. It's a sort of Matrix that, as you note "swallows you whole." One can make a difference, but it is individual and piecemeal. There is a lot of unrealistic expectation and notions about healthcare. The greatest, i think, is the notion that we are "healers." Sort of, i guess. But really we, more more often than not, try to nudge or direct the body in a particular direction against a disease, and the body either heals itself or not. And that is a hugely complex process, much of which remains unknown and invisible. i've had 96 year old who was 'found down' three days after breaking a hip. They were altered mental status, septic, with renal failure. They left 4 days later, mostly restored to health. So much of what we do is "wait and see." Some times kidney function comes back, some times it doesn't. Some times heart function comes back, some times it doesn't. And, we do not always know until we try. i think that is where there is a lot of failure in the system, the notion that we know what an outcome will be... or the expectation from the patient or family that we know that, when we often do not. People google and assume expertise based on a youtube vid or an article they read. They expect us to explain things that take years of education and experience to grasp. The bottom line is, trust is a huge component of healthcare. -
Some sex irrelevant thoughts about patients
tallslenderguy replied to Sharp-edge's topic in General Discussion
A few thoughts. i'm s Star Trek fan and it always makes me smile when "Bones" (the doctor in the original series) makes comments about medical care from our era, usually something like "It's barbaric." We do the same, think of some of the medical procedures performed on the battlefield during war in the 19th century for example. my point is, healthcare is a finite process approaching an infinite universe. That's how i see the human body, as an infinite universe. We know a lot more now than we did in 1890, knowledge that makes us shake our head about our former ignorance. In the year 2122, we'll likely look back on 2022 and shake our head about our former ignorance. i don't think anyone practicing healthcare consciously can have a "god complex." "God," presumably, is all knowing. Don't have to be in health care long to realize how little we know in the grand scheme of things. Which is not to discount what we know, we do know a lot, but it's not much when put in the context of infinity. i often tell my patients: "we kill ants with elephant guns." Sepsis protocol is a great example of that. A patient comes in with signs and symptoms of sepsis. We draw blood for cultures, then administer fluids and broad spectrum antibiotics. The antibiotics is a sort of scorched earth approach. We're likely only after one particular pathogen, but we don't know what it is, so we give broad spectrum (elephant gun) that'll kill everything. It usually takes a couple of days before cultures help us pull back and customize a more specific med. Even then, we don't always identify the specific pathogen, just general traits like: anaerobic gram negative rods. Healthcare is replete with that kind of example. Cancer treatment involves a vast array of toxins we call medicine. i think we often make the mistake of equating extension of life with extending quality of life. The opposite is often the case. We often extend life at a great cost to quality of life. Heart failure and end stage renal disease are common examples of this, where we have the meds and technology to keep the body alive, but the life we preserve bears little resemblance to life prior to the disease. But in the bigger picture, it's part of progress. Look how many people suffered and died of AID's because of HIV, and now most can live out a relatively 'normal' life when infected. Many people do get better and return to 'normal' life. But i suspect there will always be the in between group where we still do not know enough to get them back to where they were. my last rotation (i work on a critical care unit), i had a former nurse as a patient. He was in bad shape. 81 years old, COPD, acute kidney failure on chronic kidney disease, <20% EF on his echo cardiogram. His lungs sounded like a perpetual train wreck, and his coughing fits left me breathless just hearing them. He knew cognitively that he was in bad shape, but emotionally he was not ready to give up. He actually wanted to get his drivers license back (yikes!). So, i worked with him. got him up, took him for walks, gave him the little things that gave him hope, respite. i look to love and help patients in the moment, improve their momentary condition. i touch and interact with them a few days of their life, i try to not just look at their disease, but the whole person. That's hard to do, and i often fail. The system we work within pushes us to be task oriented, it's hard to be holistic. We really never know which moment will be a persons last, can we make it better somehow? -
To me, every format of cruising in person, be it sauna, bathhouse, restroom, park, ABS, etc., beats out internet aps every time. i suspect there's a whole segment of guys who are on aps who never show up at a physical hook up site, i.e flakes who have no intention of hooking up in the first place? idk, probably isn't 100% the case, but i think there are guys who are afraid and just fantasizing on aps that either aren't ready or never had any intention of actually going through with sex. i have had guys get scared at cruising places, but not nearly like aps. Nothing is perfect, but i'll take cruising in person over an ap any day.
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Looking up the definition of "fetish" gets a few results, this is from the Oxford dictionary: fet·ish /ˈfediSH/ Learn to pronounce noun 1. a form of sexual desire in which gratification is linked to an abnormal degree to a particular object, item of clothing, part of the body, etc. "Victorian men developed fetishes focusing on feet, shoes, and boots" 2. an inanimate object worshiped for its supposed magical powers or because it is considered to be inhabited by a spirit. i make a distinction between "fetish" and "kink." i have lots of kinks. my kinks are an integral part of my desires/needs, and a lot of them would not fall into the "normative" category, so i guess they could be considered "abnormal," but my gratification is not "linked to" any of them "...to an abnormal degree"? I.e., i do not 'need' them to experience gratification, but they definitely enrich my life. Where my kinks are important and have power is when they are mutual with a corresponding opposite person (i.e., with a Top in my case). I think that may be where the primary distinction is between a fetish and kink? At least it is for me. To me, it seems a fetish can exist independently from another person, it's more of an object, whereas my kinks are dependent. E.g., i have a WS kink, but it is dependent on a Top who has a similar and equal desire/need. For me, they serve as means or conduits of connection and bonding... and their inclusion is usually a deeper experience for me, maybe because they are not normative? Their rarity makes them more precious? Toys are another example for me. i have a drawer full of them, but they rarely get used for lack of a Top to use them with me. To me, if i had fetishized them, they'd have an energy from me where i could use them on myself for gratification. But that is not the case. They are useless in my hands. On the 'other hand,' or in a Tops hands, they can be imbued with His energy, desire and need and become an extension of Him. my kinks do have an aura of mystery to them, as far as where they come from or how i get/got them? For me though, the major component is connection with an opposite (i.e."Top") Man's desire/need. The mystery part is the need/desire (i.e., kink) has to be mutual. Drinking piss from the tap would be an example of a developed kink for me, but not one i had innately? I.e., i have no innate desire to drink or teste piss. However, drinking piss from a Mans cock is hugely enticing to me, to the point i am learning the skill and overcoming my distaste of piss and fear of being overwhelmed by quantity. I don't completely understand my kink with this. i know it's associated with marking, insemination, impregnation, degradation/humilation (of an affectionate nature, not mean or bullying), and any or all of those have to be present needs/desires in the Top for it to work. But you can take those same desires/needs in a Top, expressed through Sadism, and i don't connect. Even though i have the same desires/needs for "marking, penetration, insemination, impregnation, humilation/degradation, etc.," they don't present with every kink. For instance, CBT will shut me down, no matter how much the Top needs/desires it. Some kinks can use those needs as a gateway, others cannot, and that's the mysterious part for me.
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i agree. i usually catch absolutist claims i make and edit them out. In a sense, i think what we are discussing. We can recondition when we turn normative pejoratives, that have been glued to us and our sexuality, into fuel and affirmation, Another case in point is the religious notions. i used to feel condemned by "God," but have not felt that way for a long time. It's not rebellion or ignoring, but a true change of feeling. It took a lot of processing to change that, but it happened. Ironically, the religious system that conditioned me also aided me in that process. It made unreasonable and unrealistic demands of change, and thereby isolated me with "God," and over time, i found that my feelings and notions of "God" were a human construct. What is real for me, and i think for many of us, is my sexual nature. Opposites attract in nature, connect, bond and form new compound. For me, when a Top does this He is exercising our opposite nature and bonding. He's impregnating me and making something awesome, not destroying or tearing down.
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i've long considered the paradox of degradation/humilation/[banned word] that many of us are erotically excited by, as well as feeling connected and bonded with guys who use them. The contradiction is glaring when a guy uses terms like 'worthless,' while making the effort of seeking you out and putting his cock in you because he gets pleasure from you. i've come to believe that the contradiction is because of cultural conditioning. Many (most?) of us have grown up in, or long lived in 'normative' culture/s that consider being gay as "less than, perverted, sinful, broken, deviant, etc., etc.." Terms associated with being gay, or associated with gay sex, become slurs, derogatory, insulting, in normative culture. For me, it's not just "the things men say that get me going," but how they say them. i don't want anything to do with mean men or bullies, i may politely decline sex with them, but inside i am raging, not against them, but against the hateful, (self) loathing (conditioned) energy/attitude/emotion. On the other hand, when i see the lust/need in a Mans eyes, expressions, and His desire to be with me is obvious and evident to both of us, those degrading/humiliating terms become affirming-for both of us- and a powerful means of connection and bonding. i have come to think of it as "affectionate degradation/humiliation." For me, there are few things more powerful. We cannot help the emotions that have been conditioned into us. Our cognitive brain may know better or differently, but our feelings do not always follow our reason or rational beliefs or knowledge. The difference between "affectionate" vs "loathing" is, the affectionate attitude is affirming to who and how we are and is an in-your-face: "fuck you," to the culture that conditioned those feelings into us. To me, the "loathing" attitude is acquiescence, from both Top and bottom, to the ethnocentric hate and ignorance that conditioned those feelings. For me, it's not what is said, but how it is said that either gets me going, or gets me gone.
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Do You Discuss HIV Status Before Barebacking?
tallslenderguy replied to rawTOP's topic in General Discussion
i find most hook up aps/sites have a box you can check for HIV status. On dating sites, or those that are designed more for relationship, i always put "poz-undetectable" in my profile or tell anyone who asks. If i'm at a sex club or cruising location, i answer if asked, but cannot remember the last time any asked my status. With the dating sites, i am surprised how much ignorance there is about HIV, still a lot of guys stuck in the 80's when it comes to HIV, it amazes me how many guys still use terms like "clean" or state: "HIV negative and plan to stay that way." lol, the only absolute, fool proof plan i know of for remaining unexposed is no sex. -
Tops who use mind control far powerful than restraints.
tallslenderguy replied to Ozpig's topic in General Discussion
For me, "mind control" can be one of the most profound factors in an ongoing Top/bottom relationship. For me, it cannot be a one size fits all situation. I.e., not just anyone can have that with me. i participate in a BDSM discussion forum, primarily straight people, but i have learned a lot and made some friends. One of the terms that gets bandied about a lot is "insta-dom," and i think the same idea can be applied to sub guys, i.e., that here are "insta-subs" as well. It's pretty much a self descriptive term. i cannot count the number of guys who have contacted me when i mention in a profile that "i have a sub side." i stopped putting the word "sub" in profiles because the term needs a lot of unpacking for me. Very few can actually access that part of me, it's requires communication and connection, not just a presumptuous, generic approach. Really, communication and connection is key for me. For me, sexual control is something i give, not something someone can take. Bullies and force might just get you back kicked into the next state lol. i've encountered a couple of hook ups who presumed to try it and they backed down very fast from my almost automatic response. i was at a sex club once and a guy straddled me and pinched my nipples really hard, he almost intantly found himself on the floor with me straddling him and a look of shock on his face. i have a pretty strong survival instinct surrounding my "sub" nature lol. But if trust is built and with a mature (in nature, not age) Top/Dom, "mind control" can enter in, but is the pinnacle of a relationship for me, the ultimate expression of the Top/bottom dynamic. i see it more as "mind fuck" where a Man penetrates, inseminates and impregnates, not just my body, but my soul. But for me it has to be a mutual process, not an automatic response. To me, those who operate that way are doing "role play," just acting, "playing." This is very real for me... and those who i have experienced it with see it the same. The most intimate bonds i have ever experienced and, as you note, much more "powerful," engage and blend the body, mind and emotions in both concerned, not the body alone. -
A rosebud doesn't have to be permanent. i've had a few Tops who created one with me, which for me is the way to get one. i don't particularly love or hate them, but get turned on by it when my Top does. i do draw the line at prolapsing though (for me). i've had patients who had some real issues with prolapse, so i stick with rosebud. The first time i got one, i didn't even know i had one until my Top took a pic and showed it to me. i thought He was just enjoying my hole. He used His cock, fingers, dildos and was going in and then pulling out. He spent most of His time rimming me and eating me out though. He was really good at it and relaxed me and opened me up and slowly sucked and created a rosebud. For me, the "slowly" part was key. There are Tops who, to me, are impatient and immature and want instant everything, then there are Tops who luxuriate in Their power and position. That kind of Top builds trust, and for me, that is part of the process of Him being able to open and shape not only my hole, but my 'internal' hole too. It's not that it takes forever either, it's an attitude, disposition, not so much a time thing.
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Kissing definitely has a mysterious side for me. i'll pretty much take any Mans cock/load if He wants/needs to penetrate me. i've had >1000's of cocks. i can practically count the number of guys i've kissed though. And i love to kiss. There has to be an attraction with kissing that does not have to be there with sex, but i'm not quite sure i know what the attraction consists of? i think there is a visual element, but it's not all of it, or even most. idk. i have a deeply romantic side that does not have to be in play with sex, but does need to be there with kissing. When kissing, it's essential that the guy be present, not just going through the motions. Guys who learned to kiss watching porn, and are reenacting a scene are a total turn off for me. As are guys who initiate a kiss by trying to swallow my entire face at one time or shove their entire face into my mouth? That's why god invented cocks? i know, that's just a personal thing. i know some use their tongue like it's a cock, which is great if they are rimming. For me, my mouth is different from my hole, and kissing is different from fucking. i think some don't make that distinction and instead of kissing with their mouth, they fuck with it.
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There's some great ones listed. Ditto: guys who say they are on their way, but likely don't even leave their house. Guys who do not read a very explicit profile, or ignore what it says?, and ask questions that have already been answered or ask me to fuck them when i have already clearly stated i don't top. Guys who tell me how much they wanna fuck, but end up having ED. i get that it happens, and i am never mean to someone when it does... always positive and encouraging. But i have had guys repeatedly contact me wanting to fuck, but who never actually get hard enough to do so? i'll do a repeat with guys who may have not been able to get hard, but if it's a ongoing issue? There are some guys out there who are in denial of having ED, and it's frustrating when they make others a victim of their wishful thinking.
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We all have to make our own decisions, it's your life and i would not presume to try an impose my notions on anyone, or make them universal. That said, and since you are asking. i question if the guy you are with is "a perfect guy" (for you)? Personally, i see nothing wrong with an open relationship, but to me, cheating is just that: "cheating." It's hiding and lying about who you are and what you want/need. "Perfect" means complete, but your relationship is not complete, you are leaving out parts of your self with your partner. You are presenting an image, not your true or whole self, so your relationship is not perfect or complete. To me, if you want whole or complete ("perfect"), you need to be with a person you can be your whole or complete self with, and you really do not have him to "lose," nor does he have you.
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Taking cocks is sort of like having a BM in reverse. I.e., instead of something coming out, something is going in. i don't think it's the size of the cockgoing in that has more permanent effect, but the actual fucking. Stool just comes out whereas a cock is going in and out and in and out, repeatedly. It's pretty resilient down there, made for a lifetime of opening and closing. i don't think there's a standard answer because everyone treats their hole differently. Some wanna get a hand in there and work on permanent stretch. i suspect if you are just sticking to cock, even though they come in all sizes, probably not going to make permanent alterations to your hole any time soon, but again, i think it's going to depend on factors like what you take, how often, how much you stretch it, how long you stretch it (plugs) and how you stretch it (i.e., just cock? hands? toys? baseball bats? ) i had a FB and we got together about every 5 days for over a year. It took me several months before i realized He was purposefully opening/stretchig, reshaping, molding, my hole. He did it gradually. One day i realized that when i had to have a BM, i was not incontinent, but i felt a sense of urgency, sort of like the door is not closed and locked any more, maybe slightly ajar? i can easily squeeze my muscles there and hold it in, but i noticed that i had to make the effort to hold in where i didn't even think about it before. Bottom line (for me, and so to speak), my hole is permanently altered. It does tighten up over time if not being fucked, but never back to it's original state. For me, my hole has become better suited for penetration than for retention, and it's a slash now instead of a pucker. i'm a total bottom and have pretty much always been, had thousands of cocks and things in my hole. i'm not just a bottom physically, i'm a bottom psychologically too. i like realizing and feeling that my hole is better suited to being fucked than for eliminating waste. i think it's interesting how in the human body every sex organ is also a waste removal organ. Women have periods for 7 days every three weeks or so, and that's the body getting rid of waste from a fuck organ. i see my hole the same way, that a BM is sort of my version of a period. i like that sense of urgency i have when i have to go because it reminds me of all the Men who have shaped my hole and made it better suited to fucking than retaining or waste removal. i love the fact that it's a better sex organ for penetrating, waste removal is just a secondary function, not the primary or my focus.
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Totally into very ugly old men.
tallslenderguy replied to LarsBlonde19's topic in General Discussion
i do not see age and ugly as synonymous. "Ugly" to me is an attitude more than a physical appearance. i don't wanna have sex with anyone where there isn't some type of mutual attraction. Sex without some type of attraction is "ugly" to me, and it's the only type sex i avoid. -
This topic has been discussed a lot on BZ, you may wanna try searching for more input. Meanwhile, i'll offer a few thoughts. It depends. i pretty much always deep douche. i have a shower shot. That takes time. If you get water into the sigmoid (aka "second hole"), in my experience, you're in for the long haul. If you stay rectal, you can be done much faster. The "depend" part for me is what will you be receiving? If it's just a finger or rim, and it's gonna be shallow, a quick and shallow douche can work. If your gonna get fucked either long or deep, then deeper cleaning will help ensure "any yucky stuff" will be removed. Water can get trapped past the sigmoid, so it can take longer. Inserting a long dildo after can help release any trapped water or waste. Also, once you start inserting and cleaning out, you stimulate movement of the colon, so stuff that is higher up starts moving down. If you are going to be having sex for a long time, not just a quickie, gotta take that into account. The colon is about 4 feet long, the small intestine is about 22 feet long... and it's always moving, as it it's contents. A lot of us bottoms will deep clean and fast when we know we are going to be receiving cock long term. Also, a diet full of fiber helps. Meat and dairy have little fiber and make clean out a lot harder.
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How do you get attention at Bathhouses?
tallslenderguy replied to valleyvers's topic in General Discussion
Nothing makes me present for cock faster than a Man's touch, especially when He gropes or pets my ass, instant turn on. -
What do you want from a relationship?
tallslenderguy replied to hntnhole's topic in General Discussion
lol, as soon as i wrote that about cheating i thought: "nah," but decided to throw it out there. i do think the reasons for cheating can get complex, and i'm no shrink either. i hated myself when i was cheating, but i am not a universal standard. Re "different home." Home is where the cock is? or Home is where the ass is? (depending on one's proclivity). In that vein, there should be no homeless Men/men and the different kind of homes can be limitless. If my Man is free to fuck whomever He needs or wants, it isn't cheating and He is at home wherever His cock is, and i like being part of His happy home. edit: i guess i should qualify that, to me, "cheating" involves hiding and lying, and that's the part i hate/d. i wanna be true to myself and others. -
What do you want from a relationship?
tallslenderguy replied to hntnhole's topic in General Discussion
Nothing i wrote was intended as a criticism of anything You wrote, i'm sorry if i came off that way. i think our feelings and views aline and i always enjoy You and Your contributions, i love who and how You are, and that You purposefully post comments to build, add girth and substance to our culture. Your allusion to polyamory is also a fit for me. To me, the best relationship is compatible and symbiotic. The normative notion that one person can provide all of that for another, or somehow two people can provide everything the other needs, seems to defy the odds at best lol. i think one of the primary reasons half of all marriages end in divorce is the unreasonable expectations the normative formula for relationship places on people. To me, it sinks into the "quid-pro-quo" dynamic that i have mentioned elsewhere, where the relationship devolves into a costly (and ultimately unsustainable) trade off of constant sacrifice. Where poly makes sense to me is, poly relationship dynamic can succeed when there is understanding and acceptance that we can get our needs met in a way where it's not sacrificial, but symbiotic when we are not trying to get something from just one person, who may not have what we need. Your standards of: "dependable, trustworthy, reliable, honest?" To me those are synonymous. i think the lies, lack of reliability, untrustworthiness, undependability, can often be traced to incompatibility and trying to provide what one cannot. Guys who are getting everything they need at home, don't cheat, so maybe we need to rethink and build a different kind of home? -
What do you want from a relationship?
tallslenderguy replied to hntnhole's topic in General Discussion
Yes!! To me, gay guys have the potential for being the most open minded and accepting of people because many of us know first hand what it means to be subjected to the closed minded, rejecting, ethnocentric "norm." i think many us who sink into, narrow, closed minded conformity to the "norm," do so in an attempt at a semblance of acceptance, but that is just an illusion, and delusion, i think. i believe ultimately it is worse for us to reject our self than it is to suffer the rejection of normative culture. i wonder if You realize that You penetrated and bred me with that comment? Thank You for giving me Your sweet 'load' hntnhole. -
Here's some actual meta analysis stats. Looks like you would fall in the "one in 909" category, as long as you are "pure." Estimated HIV Transmission Risk Per Exposure The estimates below should not be considered definitive but rather serve as a means to understand the relative risk of HIV by exposure type. The numbers are based on a meta-analysis of several large-scale studies which looked specifically at per-exposure risk.2 ExposureExposure TypePer-Exposure Risk AnalReceptive anal sex with ejaculation1.43% (one in 70) Receptive anal sex without ejaculation0.65% (one in 154) Insertive anal sex, uncircumcised0.62% (one in 161) Insertive anal sex, circumcised0.11% (one in 909) VaginalVaginal sex, female-to-male (high-income country)0.04% (one in 2500) Vaginal sex, male-to-female (high-income country)0.08% (one in 1250) Vaginal sex, female-to-male (low-income country)0.38% (one in 263) Vaginal sex, male-to-female (low-income country)0.3% (one in 333) Vaginal sex, asymptomatic HIV0.07% (one in 1428) Vaginal sex sex, late-stage symptomatic HIV0.55% (one in 180) OralOral-penile (fellatio), receptive0% to 0.04% (one in 2500) Oral-penile (fellatio), insertive0% to 0.005% (one in 20000) Oral-anal (anilingus), either partnernegligible Oral-vaginal (cunnilingus), either partnernegligible [think before following links] https://www.verywellhealth.com/what-activities-are-of-high-and-low-risk-for-hiv-49117
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What do you want from a relationship?
tallslenderguy replied to hntnhole's topic in General Discussion
i think this is a great topic/question hntnhole. i think a lot of 'relationship' or ideas of relationship, gets based on the dominant cultural model/s we were raised with, and a lot of those ideas are not even conscious. For instance i was married (to a woman) for much of my life and when it ended she got everything material. i'd been the source of income our whole relationship, so her expectation, and that of the courts, was that i had to support her the rest of her life. i didn't want to stay attached or obligated, so she got a sizable estate that represented a lifetime of work for me. As a result, i will never marry again or get myself in a position of being the sole support in a relationship. i don't think a person who cannot support their self is relationship ready. So i guess the first things i bring to, and look for, in relationship is both an attitude and ability of self responsibility. i'm not one who believes in the notion that two halves make a whole when it comes to a romantic tangle, but that two whole people can make something different together. i also believe compatibility is often overlooked in traditional relationship. i think nature teaches us that opposites attract and bond. i know myself and know how to articulate and be transparent. That's something i look for in relationship, both giving and receiving. i cannot have a relationship with someone where i have to 'pull teeth.' Sex is important to me, and i think it is to most guys, so i think it's foolish to not lay it on the table upfront when it comes to considering relationship. Even in hook ups, i think it's sort of crazy how some guys are not upfront about what they want/need, but suggest just getting together and seeing what happens? To me, that can be a big waste of time and energy. i know i'm a total bottom, so i know from the start that a romantic relationship of any sort will not work with another bottom. For longevity where i'm involved, i'd look for a Total Top/total bottom dynamic. As a bottom, i bring sexual availability to the table. For me an ideal romantic tangle would be us living nearby each other, like a couple of houses apart even, walking distance. We each have our own space, but there is easy access. One of the things i like about a Total Top/total bottom dynamic is the energy is more clear cut. i don't ever have to worry about his ass and He never has to worry about my penis. But i'm familiar with the kind of Top energy i would want in a relationship. The Tops i am drawn too are more dom in nature, like to be in charge, have a creative energy, the need/desire to penetrate, inseminate, impregnate, sort of possess another, etc.,.. and to me that disposition permeates most of their person, not just sexually, though that's a big component. On my side, i bring availability/accessability. my bottom nature is also somewhat sub and corresponds to His. I.e., my needs/desires are to be a receptacle, be inseminated, impregnated, sort of possessed, etc.. So, if He wakes up in the middle of the night with a hard on and need to breed, i am perfectly happy for Him to just slide in, even if i am sleeping. But if He does that, He gets what He gets lol, it's not like He wakes me and i go douche at 3 in the morning, there is a mutuality about the energy. i had a friend like this when i was in nursing school. It didn't involve sex, because the friend was a woman, but we lived a couple of houses apart and we'd walk over and share a watermelon, or spontaneously go to a movie or dinner, or just talk on the front porch. With a Guy, i could see something similar, with sex added into the relationship. -
Marry me? Lol, sigh. You describe the perfect Top for me. There have been times where I felt the passionate connection so deeply, with a complete stranger, that I have to bite my mattress to keep from saying: “ i love You”
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^^Ditto This^^ If you wanna have sex with reduced risk of HIV, PrEP or condoms are your currant choices. [think before following links] https://www.cdc.gov/hiv/risk/estimates/preventionstrategies.html
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Great topic, thanks for posting Ieatcumholes. Here's an excerpt form an informative article with the link to the full article for any who may be interested. “Anorectal cells innately produce some mucus that can be thought of as having an element of lubrication,” Dr. Evan Goldstein, D.O. and CEO of Bespoke Surgical, a practice specializing in gay men’s sexual health and wellness, explains to me. “At the distal junction of the anus, two differing cell types meet and form a seam. At this location, there are glands that secrete mucus. With any high-pressure action, any assistance to decrease and disperse the force is essential to function.” Scientifically speaking, anal lubricant comes from anal ducts when the rectum is distended by the presence of feces. The rectum is also distended by the presence of a penis during anal intercourse, which may cause increased production of this natural lubricant, albeit not designed for intercourse" [think before following links] http://www.newnownext.com/gay-bottom-sex-self-lubricate/07/2019/
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