tallslenderguy

Been thinking about this topic specifically and in general. First of all, i want you lol. i love men in general, but some have things about them that just make my legs spread (actually and figurativly) and present for them to penetrate me. i wonder, in general, if some married guys hook with other guys because of the lack of sex at home, or the lack of type of sex? Guys are different, not just physically. When was the last time any of us heard another guy say: "not tonight, i have a headache?" One of the things i was thinking about M/F marriage is how often there's this power exchange going on when it comes to sex. i know it's not universal, but it seems in so many marriages, sex is a negotiation and the woman often uses it as a reward or gift. my former wife used to believe she was doing me a solid by getting me a steak and presenting herself for my birthday. Hard to imagine the reverse scenario: "honey, i got you a box of chocolates and my cock for your birthday." lol. i know all women arent like this, but it seems a pretty common cultural attitude that men want sex more than their wives and that somehow their wives are doing them a favor to have sex. Men are different, Top or bottom, Dom or sub, or something in the vast middle, it's hard to find a man who doesn't want sex. Okay, they may think they're to hot for 'you' and can do better, but they still wanna fuck. For me, one of the things i love about sex with a Man is we both want it. It's not like either of us is doing the other a favor, we both have lust for each other. It can take on a myriad of forms, One guy needs to seed, the other may need to be bred. One Guy wants to piss on or in a guy, another can't wait to get it, but the lust is pretty mutual. i've never had a guy expect a piece of jewelry or a new couch because He fucked me. We both seem pretty grateful.

"Married but addicted..." i was married too (a woman), my story is all over on this site, but long story short, religion. i hated myself for cheating and lying, but i did it constantly, had to have that connection. i had the 'addiction' from the opposite side, as a bottom, but as guys we are both driven by testosterone towards other men. i finally worked through my belief system and divorced. Meanwhile, i gave my with STD's a couple of times and finally fessed up when i thought i had given her HIV (i hadn't). i'm so much happier and at peace now. i love men, can't help it, i'm just built that way. Men are fuckng awesome... of course, i'm gay, so i guess i'm biased. lol Good luck, i feel for you. The odds are better for a Top than a bottom, but it's still Russian roulette. i took over a thousand loads on the DL while i was married. 10 years after divorcing, i went to the clinic to get started on PrEP and was poz. I had tested negative 3 months prior. i'm grateful on so many levels, i'm fine with being poz, on meds and undetectable. Amazing it didn't happen sooner. Either way, it doesn't matter, i love Men and could not and cannot help myself.

i've written about these in other places but... i was 26 my first time having sex with a guy, my religious beliefs held me back, though i'd often go into restrooms and just sit in a stall and read the walls for some sort of affirmation. When i was 26, i drove down to San Pedro in LA to help refurbish a christian missionary hospital ship that was in port for repairs. They roomed me for the night with a crew member, and misssionary, named "Skip." He was my age and fucking cute. He toured me through the ship, going up steep ladders in front of me with tight, short shorts on that got me drooling. After work, i didn't know anyone, so i showered and turned in early. The berth was very small, i was on a bottom bunk and Skips bed was across from mine, maybe 4-5 feet away. It was a very dark room, only dim harbor lights from a port hole. Skip came in a few hours after i'd turned in and quietly got into his bed, i pretended to be asleep, but i had some tight nylon underwear on, and i was partly uncovered. It was very hard to see, it was so dark, just shadows that you questioned what you were seeing. but over the course of the next several hours, we played this cat and mouse game of making sounds, like coughing or sighing, to attract the others attention. From what i could see, Skip was slowly undressing and after hours, i could stand it no longer and crept over to His bed. Without a word, He turned toward me and presented His hard cock, which i took hungrily into my mouth... my first ever. It didn't take long for Him to shoot and i swallowed every drop, surprised by the salty, creamy cum. After, He rolled over without a word and went to sleep and i went back to bed and finally fell asleep. The next day, i was dying to talk to Him, i was in love lol. But He got up early and disappeared, i didn't see him again and had to leave that afternoon. i returned the next week, but they bunked me with a different guy. i did see Skip in passing, and He pretended nothing had ever happened. That night, my new room mate also came in after i had gone to bed, but he was in the bunk above me. i also made sure i was half naked and exposed when He came in and climbed into the bunk above me. i was horny and hot from my encounter the prior week, so i made some soft mouth sucking noises to try and get His attention. i did, He hung his head over the edge of the bed and stared, same type of dark setting. i was too afraid to take it further, and he backed away and went to sleep. Who knows what could have happened if i'd been braver? Turns out, christian missionary ships have horny crew members. Another unusual hook up was driving my truck down a street, a guy pulled up next to me and glanced over at me. Our eyes met, and He nodded and pulled ahead of me. I followed and He pulled into a Burger King parking lot. As i followed, He went into the BK and went into the restroom. i followed Him in about 10 feet behind Him. When i entered the restroom, He locked the door behind me, undid my jeans and pulled them down around my knees. He lowered His jeans around His thighs, apart on His hand and got His cock wet, turned me around and bent me over without a word and slid in. He fucked and bred me and came, pulled up His jeans and walked out, my ass dripping with His cum and my jeans around my knees. i recovered and relocked the door, pulled my pants up and left. It was awesome and a great example of gaydar i think lol.

idk the answer, not sure there is one? i was married to a woman half my life, have a couple of kids (adults now). Everyone was shocked when i came out and divorced, not stereotypical here. Everyone except my wife, she 'knew' 2 years before we married... but religion. But i knew i was a full fledged bottom bitch, pretty much always in heat. i thought i was 'straight' and just had a psychological problem [rolls eyes at fucked up culture that fucked with me so many years]. i suspect there are lots of guys like i was, who genuinely think they are straight the whole time they're breeding guy ass... or being bred lol. For me, the only guy i don't want to be with is the one who is conflicted and hates himself for what he is doing. i don't want to feed into that, it's just too sad. Otherwise, i don't care about the label, if He has a hard cock and wants my ass or mouth, we're a match made in heaven.

my first two experiences with sex with guys, i knew there names. Looking back at few thousand loads later i'd say probably 97% of that has been anonymous. my first several hundred anonymous breedings were mostly under restroom stall walls. i'd go to the local cruise restrooms at the malls and sit. Never took long, soon a guy would sit in the next stall, tap His foot, i'd tap mine, maybe we'd shift our feet to touch, just to confirm. Next, i'd usually get off the toilet and present my lubed ass to Him, just above the bottom of the stall wall, half the time the guy would reach under to check, the other half they'd just slide their hard cock under and i'd lower my hole onto their cock as they simultaneously pushed in. i honestly can't remember ever not getting fucked, though i'm sure it must have happened. Never took long before He would shoot, and at that angle, the challenge was keeping His load so it wouldn't slide out and land on the restroom floor as He pulled out. i prefer having a Mans cum deep in my ass to licking it off the restroom floor, but either way, it belongs inside. When i first started whoring, i was deeply stuck in religion and married to a woman. i hated myself for lying and cheating, but my need for a Man won out. I can honestly say i couldn't help myself. i tried everything to keep from letting go 100%, but the need and desire to connect with a Man were just too great. i would cry and pray, begging an invisible 'god' to help me resist, but i couldn't. While i was waiting for a Guy to show up who need release as a Top, just like i needed it as a bottom, i was letting go 100%, while connecting, oh fuck yeah, 100%. After He had cum and gone, if i jacked off and came, the regret set in almost immediately, Till i'd recovered (physically), and it would start all over again. It's kind of weird, for so long the fight was letting go psychologically, never physically... i needed a Man way too badly. Once i accepted myself and got past my culturally induced beliefs/guilt, it was instant and complete. i simply love Men, it's as natural and automatic as can be. i sometimes wonder if anyone notices me at work, or anywhere really, where i am adoringly watching Guys, or listening to them as they talk. No one does, i'm not a stereotypical gay, not fem and i'm older now, so i'm prolly mostly invisible lol, but i'm damned happy and really enjoy my freedom to love any guy and happily take Him inside of me any time the opportunity presents. i can't imagine not being 100%, i think being gay is a gift.

This is the only kind of dynamic that makes sense to me (and i understand it's personal, not universal). i've had a few versatile guys want a more romantic, BF type relationship with me, and as much as i might love a guy, i cannot imagine that level of seriousness with anyone but a Total Top. i guess being psychologically trapped in a marriage (to a woman) for so many years took the notion of sexual compromise out of me. Personally, i've come to consider a quid pro quo approach to sex as a heteronormative disease that i don't want. i could be with a guy who maybe liked to bottom on occasion, but unless he was a very smooth boy, he'd be welcome to get what he needed from someone else in an open relationship. But honestly, that's not my ideal. Ideally, i'd submit control of my orgasm to my Top and always be a bottom and He'd always be a Top. Ideally. i know reality is fluid, but my wish is for a Top who is and always will be a Top... i know it happens. i don't find anything emotionally or sexually appealing about having a bf where we'd go out and get fucked together. Honestly, that would do a number on my head, it just wouldn't fit for me.

There's a double entendre the Brittish could have fun with. i am very much a psychological/emotional bottom, so i think i understand the intent and desire behind chasing. As a bottom, i crave and look for connections with Men who intentionally want and need to breed, penetrate and leave Their 'mark' or seed or signature or_________________, on Their bottom. i get that as their receptacle, and one who needs and wants that Man from the opposite side. It's not a stretch for me to apply those feelings, that psychology, to chasers and chasing. But i think there is a disconnect, Disease destroys and causes harm, not just a "mark" or "signature." i so get the DNA thing, but the DNA with HIV is altered by the HIV, not the person transmitting it. If anything, a gifter and chaser is giving up their potency and submission to a pathogen, not a person. i do love piss for that reason, when a Man pisses in me, i cherish, hold and absorb it into my body. To me, it's one of the closest things two guys can come to with impregnating. When you absorb another Mans piss, when you eventually pee, you are 'birthing' something He put in your body... you can literally smell it. It's fuckin awesome. HIV? Diseases? Those are foreign pathogens just hitching a ride, doesn't matter if youre Dom, Top, bottom, sub or versatile, we are all being used by a pathogen to survive we're not 'giving' anything. It's not a gift, it's a pathogenic attack. i guess there might be some who are feeling romantic towards virus or bacteria, but you don't need a guy for that.

It is an "opportunity." What would make it "amazing" is if people took advantage of it and got tested and treated during this time of isolation> It would reduce STI's.

but, just so everyone knows where me heart is (somewhere deep in my pussy), i bought one of these (it's a horse speculum next to a 9" dildo for perspective)

As a physiologist, i get the false notion that "you will not get loose overnight." I also get that "...practicing with dildos and plugs, a little 30min play 3 times a week goes a long way." my challenge has been my emotional/psychologicla connection to be opened and penetrated. For me, it's not just being opened and penetrated, it's the Man and the intent behind it. i was fortunate to have a FB (who never actually 'fucked' me) who introduced Himself as just liking to give massage. We got together at least once a week for over a year. He gave an amazing, erotic massage that made my legs spread and had so horny. After a few massages, He 'tested' me to see if i liked my hole used. Once He realized i'm a total bottom slut, it was game on. It took me a long time to realize, because He was patient and purposely slow and secretive about what He was doing. His intent was to open my hole... permanently. And He did, even 7 years later, my hole has never returned to completely the way it was before He opened me. i love Him for what He did to me. To me, His permanently changing my hole was every bit "breeding" and imprengating me with Himself. And that's where i am emotionally and psychologically with my pussy, it's not something i really want control over opening or breeding. Or i should say, that i feel i can open or breed myself? Because i connect its opening and breeding to the person who is doing it, it's not just an independent result. i'm a bottom, and have a distinct sub side, its not in my nature to open or penetrate a hole...even my own.

Hmm. idk if i'd call you "selfish," but you may be missing out? I'll suck any cock offered, or ideally, take it up my ass. i had one FB who i grew quite fond of who was morbidly obese and had a 3 inch cock. He was over 300 lbs and my bed would creak when He straddled my legs and mounted me. He'd always breed me from sitting position, and i was always impressed that He could get it in and keep it in. He had ginonormous loads. He helped me see and break my own size bias (talking about body size), i truly grew to love Him. Sorry, that was a tangent, back to sucking. i cannot count the times (I've been with thousand of Men) that i have started sucking on a small, even tiny, cock only to discover a grower vs shower. And it may take some patience. There are so many guys out there, and the variety Who present at a GH can be even greater. A lot of them may be shy or scared, which is why they may seek out a GH in the first place. So, it may take them time to get over their nerves so they can get it up. i find that as a bottom cock sucker i can do a lot to help and reassure the guy im sucking. For me it isn't put on, and im not an advocate of being false. I honesty adore a Man who needs or wants His cock sucked, i guess it's in my nature. i would feel awful faking pleasure with a Man... they get enough of those kinds of lies and manipulation from women (sorry, i know that's a stereotype, but i've been personally wounded in that way, so please forgive?). So, if you aren't feeling it, i don't think it is "selfish" for you to not suck a guy, just the opposite. You are showing respect by being honest. Having said that, i think you may be missing out if you could get past that... but maybe not. We're all different.

lol, yep, my garden and house have never looked this good. So far i have installed a tiled walk in shower, weeded and prepped all 9 of my 4x10 raised cedar garden beds. Strawberries and raspberries are in. Started Tomatoes, peppers, cokes and squash indoors and am dying for the threat of frost to pass so i can plant them. All my doors got 2 coats of paint. It's like the gay gods are helping us get stuff done around the house, knowing normally we'd be out looking for Men. sigh. i also seem to be one of those rare gay guys who likes to write and communicate through writing. Frankly, i love the build up of sexual tension that can happen writing back and forth to a guy and having to delay sex. It's sort of like intellectual and emotional edging. i LOVE getting to know a guy and am finding there are a lot more open to it now since they have fewer choices.

We seem to have a consensus of opinion here, and i agree. i'm a critical care nurse and care for Covid and Covid rule out patients on my unit. As healthcare workers, we're concerned about the shortage of personal protective equipment (PPE) for those of us on the front line. But countries that have gotten a handle on Covid are extremely diligent about testing everyone and knowing who is positive quickly isolation. As bbinbpark notes, "it can be spread without showing signs." We do know it can be spread through droplet. There is varying and conflicting reports, but we know it can live on a surface for a little while at least. Consider this, at a GH, one has no idea who or how many have sucked that cock in the last 10 minutes. Also, how many guys will use their own spit (read: "droplets") to lube their cock to jack or fuck? Also some evidence that Covid can be shed and spread through feces... has the cock you are taking been in someones ass prior to you taking it? These are All credible/possible sources of infection... it would be nice, but i don't believe a glory hole confers immunity. Further studies are needed.

Were you "turned on" by or because of what happened to him, or were you turned on in an envious way, like you identified with him and wished, in some way, it had been you? i can see where you might feel conflicting feelings.. sad and angry if he was hurt, but turned on because there are parts of the experience that resonate with you?

wow. Watching some of those struck a lot of chords in me.

Will You explain what You consider an "Alpha sub" to be?

i don't see being a bottom as a matter of obligation or duty, more of nature? i.e., it seems to be my natural drive to take a Mans cock and desire to penetrate, breed. If a Man approaches me and wants to slide in and unload (or piss for that matter), i'm going to turn over or bend over and present my hole. i don't ask about things like STI's, and typically, neither does He. Having said that, i don't fetishize disease. i don't purposely chase or try to spread disease. i get tested regularly because i LOVE Men and don't want to see anyone getting sick or hurt and i encourage everyone to get tested regularly, for their sake and for the sake of our community.

Exactly lol ❤️ . Hey, remember, i'm a sub bottom, i understand because of similarities. Where i was going with the feminist/Patriarchy comments was that forced Patriarchal standards, in a wrong context, have caused a fuckload of cultural damage. i believe that forcing all women (whether they be submissive, Dom or somewhere in between) has led to many women adopting manipulation as a survival mechanism. If a woman is not a submissive and she is in relationship in a culture and with a man who assumes it, it's a way around submitting that doesn't come naturally. We're natural submissives, so it would actually violate something in us to manipulate a Man. If you're anything like me, the idea is abhorant and repulsive. But patriarchy has fucked things up for some of us too. A lot of Dom or Dom leaning guys have also grown up in a culture filled with negative Patriarchal effects. They may associate submissive with manipulative because that's what they've encountered culturally, not understanding that a true submissive has no desire to manipulate.... quite the opposite sometimes at least. For instance, in me, i am opened up and vulnerable to a Man who is intelligent and uses 'grooming' type techniques, which are a form of manipulation. Not the same though, i abhor the dishonesty of manipulation i have experienced with women, but adore the sort of manipulation i have experienced with a Man.... probably the same way, and maybe for similar reasons that a Dom man might be repelled by unnatural submission. The grooming i have experienced with a Dom Man is so different from the manipulation i have encountered with a woman. The grooming is subtle, below the radar, but i think the difference is the symbiotic nature... it is Him using me, but it meets a need in both of us versus robbery and one sidedness. Hard to explain what i feel, but it is so distinct. i think a lot who identify as Dom think that needs being met has to be one sided for it to be truly a D/s dynamic, but i think the most intense D/s dynamic is where each sides needs just naturally meet the others, even though they are opposite. Simply put, it is fully a Tops desire to fuck and breed, and it's fully a bottoms desire to be fucked and bred... the needs/desires are opposite, and symbiotic. The fun of relationship is finding all the different ways that energy of need and desire can be expressed. E.g., You and your BF discovered together that He needs a toilet... and you need to be a toilet. There are innumerable examples of how this dynamic can be experienced and waiting to be discovered and explored.

i'm pretty feminist (not feminine), and i'm convinced that patriarchy applied universally to male/female has fucked things up, because it doesn't always apply. There are Dom women just like there are Dom men, There are Top women, just like there are Top Men. i think those things are emotional/psycological dispositions. They may find lots of different expression in sex, but i don't think sex dictates the postions (physical or emotional) we take, but the other way around. i don't believe a bottom/subs kinks, needs, desires are a matter of being unsubmissive... i think they are what makes him who He is, and that can get really complex, i know. Like some subs need/want things like to be objectified, bullied, beat up... and some Dom's need/want a sub like that. But i think that is individual expression, not a universal rule. i think the best relationships are based on chemistry. Again, i pull from natural law, opposites attract and bond. But were human, not ions. Our 'electrical charge' charge is much more complex because we have intellect and emotions... which makes the process exciting and fun and _______________. Ions don't get to enjoy feelings, eh? i think we all have our kinks, and i think that is (in part) where chemistry is an important factor. For instance, i'm pretty sure i wouldn't have a lot of success in a relationship with a Dominant bottom lol. i'd feel pulled apart because i'd be conflicted by my desire/need to submit, but i'd feel untrue to myself trying to top. So, i may love that guy, but a relationship with Him would be impractical. Those are kinks we would probably each know about ourselves ahead of time, before even getting into relationship. But we're alive and fluid, it's not like we have one standard set of kinks that never get added too. you have a kink/need/desire for piss, your BF didn't have that particular kink, but He has the disposition behind the kink. Discovering common kinks can be scary, but also exciiting. i don't think you so much "lead" your boyfriend to use you as a toilet as you introduced Him to that part of yourself (made yourself vulnerable to Him, naked). When His uses you that way, it's not like He is making a sacrifice to please you, right? Rather, He's discovered a new way to Dom you that He was unaware of before. If He really gets into it, you guys are lucky you have chemistry that way, because your needs are met symbiotically vs one of you trying to compromise to meet the others need. i think the only time it becomes an attempt to "lead" is when you use manipulation to try and get your way, regardless of how He is or feels. I.e., if i had a boyfriend that i introduced to piss and i could clearly see that He was not thoroughly loving it, and it was meeting a Dom need in Him, i would not want it. i'd completely rather give up something like piss than get it by manipulation or Him making some sort of sacrifice. I only want mutual connections with someone, those are the most intense and best, but they are often a matter of discovery. We don't know all those places of connection up front, i believe that's part of the adventure of relationship.

i find that so hot and sort of affirming as well. i have fairly complex and involved notions about the sexual/nature spectrum with. my wiring has sub, bottom at one end and Dom Top on the other end, of the spectrum, versatile somewhere in between. i see the 'spectrum as multidimensional, not just linear, and i believe that there is such a thing as dom bottoms or sub tops, but i understand that i don't have chemistry with that, so for me, Dom is always Top and sub is always bottom, with a whole complex list of what constitutes "Top" or "bottom." For instance, i see bottom as not just a physical thing, but emotional, psychological. In that vein of reasoning, as a bottom i relate as being the receiver, one who gets pissed in and on, penetrated, psychologically inseminated. The fact that your bf "took a long time to get there" in my mind is more a factor of cultural conditioning than nature. With no evidence to base this on (lol), i think He is a Dom Top by nature and that His natural inclination is to penetrate, deposit Himself in a bottom, leave His 'mark' on a bottom, etc.. What you guys overcame was cultural conditioning He had against putting HIs piss in you, but He eventually gave in to His nature as He discovered it served as an expression of Who He is. Lol, fanciful maybe, but i think there has always been an understanding of D/s Top/bottom as nature (consider the ancient philosophy of yin/yang). Thought the expressions of the D/s T/b dynamic can be infinite, at the the core needs/desires like wanting to piss in/on to mark, subdue, own and desires/needs to be pissed in/on, be marked, subdued, owned, are (awesome) expressions of our basic natures. i see them all as based i the needs/desires to penetrate, inseminate and impregnate in creative ways.

Yes! What is it about the inclination or mindset of some to turn an individual desire or need into a generic stereotype? A awesome part of sex is it can facilitate us connecting on so many different levels with another person... an individual and unique real, emotional, intellectual and physical being. i suspect our brain does typing as a means of repeating or avoiding good or bad experiences by just reacting based on former experience vs thinking and considering every person and event? i fucking love how you are into people. You are awesome.

Was thinking about the power of piss this morning after reading some posts on another site from a guy who wanted to figure out how to pee his diaper during the night while he slept. So many layers too that. i'm not one for 'role play.' i find reality is so much more fun and intense, and there are so many of us out here with kinks, i'd rather experience those kinks with someone i have chemistry with that play some sort of pretend role. Age 'play' has no appeal to me, but i have experienced being regressed by an intelligent, understanding and affectionate Dom, and it was a mind bending experience. my guess is, part of the power of WS for me is rooted in the fact that i wet my bed till i was 13. It was deeply emotional, humiliating and frustrating for me. i tried so hard not to, and had no control or understanding, which probably exacerbated it. But, eventually, i stopped. That natural and normal barrier/boundry that gets formed in the brain and tells the body to hold your pee in while your asleep, finally and eventually formed in me. Reading about another's needs and desires this morning exposed what i call a "collar place" in my emotional/psychological make up, and i realized more about how a Mans piss and my pee can be powerful places where a Dom/Top can collar me. The guy i was reading about was talking about making himself pee his diaper while he slept, which has no appeal for me. i don't want to make myself do anything, As a bottom with some sub mixed in, i respond to the machinations of a Top/Dom who's needs and desires are to control and create using a sub bottom. i imagined having a Man in my life who set about to collar me using that emotional place from my childhood and taking me back there by reverse training or manipulating me so that He removes that boundary or barrier in my brain and takes me back to a place where i wet myself as i sleep. It's a strange thought, because that was such a painful and frustrating part of my life, so i don't completely understand why it's such and exciting thought to imagine a Man in my life who has the power to control and affect me in that way?

There's a Top on this site who is in His young 20's. Normally, that would be a hard sell, but He has a sweet streak, is intelligent and considerate, with some Dom thrown in.... and He's gorgeous too. He definitely owns a piece of my heart and could prolly possess and control my pussy.

For me, it's not about age... on either end of the spectrum. Things like intelligence, mature attitude, are very important to me. Immaturity and self absorption are turn offs at any age for me. Guys who are self possessed and cofindent enough that they don't have to compensate by being assholes can own me.

Exactly. i respond to the internal, psychological Top that a Guy is. He can have a 3 inch physical cock, but if He is all Top and secure in who He is, He can own me with His 3 inch physical cock because He can penetrate and inseminate me with a lot more than His cock.